Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The Mother Of All Snoozers

The Christmas spirit strikes Sami as she mugs Santa for making too much noise ringing his bell.

Santa yells, "I'm not passing out toys, lady, I'm collecting money." Sami argues. Santa tells her, "I'll go on a break if you'll make a donation." Sami pulls out money and contemplates what size of bill to give Santa as hush money. She has a dollar bill and a hundred. We all know which one she will decide to give, and we all know which one will end up in the kettle.

Lucas comes up behind her, "Well, If Norman Rockwell was alive today I imagine he'd paint this picture. The caption would read, 'Selfless Sami Brady gives to others on Christmas Eve.' What a joke."

Austin parades in his underwear. He finds Nicole passed out on the couch. He wakes her up. Nicole hopes he was thinking about her while she was home alone fighting off the mini-bar.

"I see the mini-bar won," says Austin.

"Now I have a nasty hangover," she moans.

Saint Austin of Boxer Shorts lectures her about her drinking. He gives her a Stones T-Shirt. She tells him how she got the Highstyle account back when she talked to Giles. She sealed the deal as they walked to his car. "You didn't get into his car," asks Austin.

"That's disgusting," says Nicole, "All you have to do is sign on the dotted line and Highstyle is ours."

Carrie arrives at her office. Becky gives her more late notices from the bank. Carrie says she'll deal with them next week. She looks at a picture of her and Austin.

"Since he's in town will you spend the holiday together," asks Becky.

Abby comes into the Java Café. Josh said he has left messages on her cell phone. She says she just didn't feel like seeing anyone. He asks if there is anything he can do. Hugs.

Talk about time warp! Chelsea is out of the hospital and has already been to court. She has to take driving lessons and do community service. Now she can't get around. She's mad Bo wouldn't help her. Chelsea vows she won't do the community service. She throws the court order in the trash. Max pulls it out and tells her not to make it worse.

Bo and Hope arrive at Jack's memorial. Bo tells Hope Chelsea doesn't want to talk to him ever again. Lucky Bo. Hope assures him Chelsea loves him. Things will be OK.

Abe and Lexie arrive. Abe reminisces about Jack on the island. Lexie tells him Jack made sure Jennifer would be taken care of emotionally.

Frankie arrives at Jennifer's house.

Jennifer assures him, "I'm fine. I have to be. That's what Jack would have wanted."

Josh comforts Abby. He tells her he couldn't get off work for the service. He decides to chuck it, takes off his apron and says, "I'm totally here for you."

Chelsea rants against Bo, "I've lost everything, my car, house, parents. My whole life turned out to be a lie. I know I have two great parents who love me. I asked Bo to do just one little thing for me. The last time he helped me he never heard the end of it from Hope. He'll never help me again. If this were Shawn they'd be doing everything for him."

"You're wrong," says Max.

Lexie drops the Frankie bomb on Abe.

Jennifer says she is fine. Maggie tells her they are there for her. The crew heads for the service. Jennifer calls Frankie back inside. She asks him to ride to the church with her. They leave. Pan in on Jack's picture.

Santa rings the bell. Sami can't believe she ran into Lucas. She wonders again who the mystery woman was at the concert. Lucas tells her goodbye and huffs off. Sami leaves and slams a bill in the kettle. She discovers she put the $100 in the kettle instead of the $1.

Austin tells Nicole about the concert. He says, "It was a great concert except..."

Nicole asks, "What?"

Austin says, "I saw a ghost from my past." Ya think maybe Nicole is curious?

"No, I will not be spending Christmas with Austin," says Carrie, "I'm spending it by myself. I'll probably stare at the burning Yule Log on channel 91."

Becky says, "That's terrible..."

"I just want the employees to spend the holidays without worrying about losing their jobs," says Carrie.

Becky makes one more attempt. "CALL AUSTIN," she insists.

Chelsea brings up Shawn's unfortunate motorcycle incident. Max tells her Shawn is still doing community service. His service to the community is to stay away from it.

Chelsea whines, "Bo and Hope pulled a few strings for their precious little boy."

Max suggests, "Let's call him and find out."

"You're siding with them," wails Chelsea, "You're a real Brady fan aren't you?"

"You're a Brady too," says Max.

Chelsea gives him her standard comeback, "WAH-WAH-WAH!"

Abby tells Josh the memorial is only for family. He kisses her goodbye, "I'm here if you need me."

Doug and Julie arrive at the service. Jennifer arrives with Maggie and Mickey. She takes Jack junior to the nursery. Maggie leaves with her, giving Frankie a chance to tell Mickey he is leaving Salem.

The group goes in to sit down. Jennifer waits for Abby. Hope hugs Jennifer. Abby comes in and they all go inside together. Abby and Jennifer sit by Alice. Father Jansen comes in. The service begins.

Sami obsesses about her C-note. She sticks her hand in the pot to dig it out. Lucas catches her. He says, "Of all the horrible, unconscionable things you've ever done, Sami, this has gotta top 'em all!"

Austin tells Nicole the ghost he saw at the concert was someone he recognized. Nicole badgers him. Austin tells her it was Carrie.


It's not going to happen, Becky," says Carrie, "I'm not ready to let Austin know I'm back."

"When will you be ready," asks Becky.

"Maybe never."

Becky asks, "Are you going loco or just a coward?" YES.

Mickey doesn't want Frankie to leave. He wanted Frankie to become a partner. Frankie says, "Aw, Mickey, I'm flattered, but I wanted to go with a firm that wins a case once in a while." They go in for the services.

Julie reads the 23rd Psalm.

Bo forgot to take his Ritalin. Since he can't sit still for five seconds, he leaves.

Julie winds things up, "...And surely goodness and mercy shall follow us all the Days Of Our Lives."

Abby asks where Grandma Jo and Vern are. Jennifer tells her, "Grandma Jo wasn't feeling very well so Vern took her to the rectory." Well, we got that awkward little question out of the way, didn't we?

It's Abe's turn to speak. He says he is glad Jack wasn't a criminal because he would never have caught him. Chuckles. He says Jack fought back by getting his affairs in order. He made sure his family was taken care of.

Amazing grace plays as Jack's life flashes in front of us.

Alice turns to Jennifer, "You're going to be OK, Jennifer. I promise you." Translation: You're toast, Jennifer.


Bo tries to phone Chelsea. Chelsea doesn't answer. She and Max walk up behind him. If looks could kill...

Sami uses her line from Brandon's hotel room, "This isn't what it looks like." She tells Lucas about the $100 bill.

"This is illegal," says Lucas. Sami struggles. He says, "I have to go now but I wish you luck. Why don't you make Santa a deal? Offer him $50 and he might give you $50 back. I gotta go."

Sami always knows the right thing to say, "I hope you get eaten by a reindeer!"

Santa catches Sami. "I can explain," she says.

Austin thinks maybe he hallucinated about Carrie. He goes to get dressed. Nicole paces, "Carrie Brady... If she was back, what would she be doing here and why wouldn't anyone know about it?"

Carrie says this company is the only love of her life. She wants everything to settle down before she makes a commitment to start a family.

Becky suggests Lucas if not Austin.

What timing! Lucas walks in with flowers. Carrie thanks him. Smiles and smirks all around.

Santa berates Sami as she struggles for her money. A crowd gathers. People watch. People chuckle. Santa attacks Sami with his bell. She pulls a $1 out, yells, "BAH! HUMBUG," and storms off.

Carrie says she had a great time at the concert. She invites Lucas to the company party later. He'll be there. Lucas leaves. Carrie sighs. Becky smiles.

Carrie insists, "Lucas and I are just friends."

Becky asks, "Are you sure Lucas feels that way?"

Becky turns on Christmas music and hands Carrie the picture of her and Austin. Carrie signs, "Happy holidays, Austin."

"Sign the dotted line and Highstyle is basically ours," says Nicole.

"Before I do that I'm calling the CEO," says Austin.

Max goes inside so Bo and Chelsea can work things out.

Bo asks, "How'd it go in court?"

"They threw the book at me," says the brat, "20 million hours of community service. You knew they would do that, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

Chelsea whines, "I used to think Billie was a horrible parent. You are ten times worse. You act like you care then you turn your back on me!"

"I am here for you."

Chelsea bawls, "I am here for Abby and don't care if I ever see you again. You can never be a father to me." She goes in. Hope watches.

Father Jansen concludes the service. Jennifer stays to pray. Abby assures her they will get through it.

Abby runs into Chelsea outside. Abby sees the bandages and asks what happened. Chelsea will tell her about it later.

Hope tells Bo Chelsea didn't mean what she said. Bo isn't holding his breath to find out. She tells Bo not to give in just because he wants to make peace with her.

The crowd files out. Lexie tells Frankie at first she didn't agree with Jack, but now thinks he knew what he was doing.

Jennifer touches Jack's picture and cries.

And thus ends the Mother of all Snoozers.


Previews
========

Kate watches as John talks on the phone, "Whataya got for me? Please tell me it's enough to nail North to the wall, because I've gotta get him outta my wife's life once and for all."

Carrie announces to Becky, "I'm gong back to Salem for the holidays. I want to see Austin."

Frankie says to Bo, "Why do you think it's never worked out for me and any other woman? I never got over her." Bobblehead Bo agrees, "Well, Frankie, that's obvious."

Hope asks Jennifer, "You're afraid because deep down you could have feelings for Frankie?" Jennifer just can't bear it.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was a great episode. I'm saving the tape. You never know when insomnia will strike.

5:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The show may be a snoozer, but Prevuze comes through again with a laugh-a-thon:
- the 4-ply, pushme/pullyou picture of Jenkie,
- St. Austin of Boxer Shorts
- Frankie wanting to work for a firm that occasionally wins a case!!
They were all LOL.

If Carrie doesn't want employees to worry about losing their jobs, I suggest she start by paying attention to the bank notices and by cooling it with the super-expensive employee Christmas gifts! As CEO she's the Chief Executive Officer, not the Coddle Employees Officer.

7:02 AM  

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