Monday, March 31, 2008

What You Catch From A Toilet Seat

Bo huffs and puffs. He yanks tubes and wires. His machines beep. He sits on the edge of his bed, stands up and DOWN GOES BO.

Leonard the INS agent asks Sami if she loves EJ. Helio and Julianne never danced like Sami does after that question. Meanwhile, EJ tells Maggie he loves her idea.

Lexie and a nurse rush in to help Bo as he mumbles, "Hope's in trouble."

Hope stares out a window and surveys her room. She finds a scrapbook under the bed.

Impatient but wacko Ava waits for Patch. She picks up the car phone and tells the chauffeur, "Let's go," but looks up to see Patch staring through the window.

Burke asks again if Sami loves EJ. Sami gets snotty and assures him she does. EJ walks up to the table, smooches her on the cheek and says, "You miss me too."

"Like a bad rash," says Sami. EJ says he was just on the phone with Mickey, who has offered him a partnership.

"A partnership," asks Burke, "Is that what they're calling an entry level job these days?"

EJ says, "Mickey is semi-retired and wants me to help." Burke wasn't aware EJ is an attorney. EJ tells him he became a lawyer years ago, "And now here in the US I'm barred and certified."

"Don't you mean certifiable," asks Burke, "I don't think you exactly have the world's best work ethic."

Lexie tries to help, "What's up, Bo."

"I am." Bo remembers Patch's call and visit. He wiggles and Lexie threatens to sedate him if he doesn't behave.

She thinks he has damaged his pancreas, "What kind of trouble is Hope in?"

Bo tries to fake it, "Hope's in trouble? I thought I had a dream. Then I saw she wasn't here."

Patch and Ava exchange no-so-niceties. Patch asks about Hope/Kayla. Ava tells him she is fine. Patch wants to see her, "That was the deal."

Ava nukes, "We had a deal. It had to do with a preacher."

"Something came up," says Patch, "Things aren't the same, baby."

"No one has called me baby lately," says Ava.

"What do they call you," asks Patch.

"Bitch," says Ava, "Crazy broad. You know, things that fit. But I know you love me."

Patch sighs, "Yeah." Ava tries to work him, but Patch insists on going to see Hope/Kayla. Ava agrees. Patch tells her he doesn't see them getting back together.

Ava doesn't like that and doesn't want him to tell her she's nuts, "I didn't remember you being so stupid."

"Not only are you nuts but you're forgetful, too," says Patch. He rages. Ava threatens Hope/Kayla. Patch shuts his yap and then changes the subject. He wants to know how she found out Hope/Kayla was his wife. Ava says she has her ways.

Patch gets on her about the plane incident. She claims it was an accident, "I would never hurt someone on purpose."

Patch yells, "Well, you just threatened to kill my wife and unborn baby."

The nutcase screams, "That's different!"


Kayla comes into Bo's room. She says Dr. Jonas has a seminar today, so that makes Bo her patient. Stephanie is supposedly with Max and since Patch wasn't there, Kayla was able to make her escape. She wonders if Patch is around.

EJ and Sami work on Burke. They assure him they are the dream couple of Salem. Sami says her family just loves EJ, "They think he is quite a catch, and not what you catch from a toilet seat."

EJ grabs Sami's nose, "Spunky today aren't you, sweetheart?" Sami kicks something under the table and it ain't his nose.

Lou Grant steps in, "Back off, buddy! I LIKE SPUNK!"

EJ suddenly claims he has a cramp in his foot and has to go walk it off. He leaves. Burke asks for one more visit with the idyllic couple and then leaves.

EJ comes back and he and Sami take bickering to new levels. They agree to leave each other's feet and noses alone. EJ walks off as Maggie comes over, "You seem to have your nose out of joint. He gets to you doesn't he?"

"Why are you on his side," says Sami.

"I am on Johnny's side," says Maggie, By the way, where are the twins? "

"Ciara is watching them," says Sami. She tells her she misses Lucas.

"I think they have inoculations for things like that," says Maggie.. Mickey comes up and Sami questions his hiring EJ. She doesn't think EJ is even licensed.

"We don't stand on little formalities like that at the Horton firm," says Mickey.

Bo says Steve was there but took off. He didn't say way where he was going. Lexie and Kayla gang up on Bo about getting out of bed. Bo claims he slipped. The girls don't buy it. A nurse calls Lexie out. As she leaves, Kayla asks what's going on.

Patch wants to tell Ava about the terror at 30,000 feet. Ava don' wanna hear it. Patch tells her about OMB's tragic but needless suicide. Ava screams and tells him to stop it, "I feel like my brain is splitting in two."

"That wouldn't be fair for you to have two and the rest of us none," says Patch.


"A minute ago you loved me," he says, "Just take it easy."

"Don't tell me that," screams the nutjob, "The plane crash wasn't my fault. It was your fault. You killed him."

Ava blames Patch for OMB's death because he left her at the altar. Patch doesn't see it that way. Ana tiptoes into the darkside. Patch tells her she has hurt enough people. She threatens to hurt more if she has to. Patch suggests trying to work this out, "Tell me what you really want."

"I want my life back," says Jabba the Nut, "I want to walk down that aisle and see you waiting for me there. I want the life you promised me."

Kayla grills Bo about what Steve is up to and why he tried to get out of bed. "I don't know what Patch is doing," says Bo, "And most of the time, he doesn't either. I got out of bed because I was just trying to get some exercise."

Kayla doesn't buy it. "And where is Hoooooooppp..." PAIN-WRETCH! It seems doctor Johnson is good at dishing out advice but not so good at taking it.

Maggie, Sami, Mickey and his new partner chat. EJ and Mickey introduce themselves to each other.

Sami asks, "Do you always appoint someone a partner before you have even met him?"

"We don't stand on little formalities at the Horton firm," says Mickey.

Mickey asks Sami her opinion of EJ – He wonders if EJ is a typical DiMera. Sami says he's not. Mickey decides EJ will have to earn his partnership and is on probation until he can prove himself. "Until then, you'll be doing a lot of work for little money." Mickey leaves. EJ turns to Maggie and thanks her, and then Maggie follows Mickey.

EJ and Sami discuss their extended-extended family issues.

Hope puts down the scrapbook and looks at the pictures on the desk.

Ava tells Patch he ruined her life and might ruin Hope/Kayla's life as well as their unborn child. She thinks he and Kayla don't have any kids yet. Patch just wants to make sure no one else gets hurt. Ava wonders how. Patch plays along, "I can be that man again if you still want me to be."

Lexie and the nurse rush back into Bo's room to tend to Kayla. Kayla insists she was feeling fine right before she had her big attack.

Hope remembers Ava telling her what happened after Patch left.

Maggie thanks Mickey for giving EJ a chance. Mickey still has problems with him. The folks behind them at the bar drink up. Mickey turns to one of the drunks there and asks, "Hey, stranger, how would you like a partnership at the Horton firm?"

Mickey goes back to EJ and Sami's table. EJ thanks him for the job. Mickey wishes he could help more. Sami says her mom will help with their other problems.

Steve says he will be Patch for Ava. She just has to promise not to hurt anyone else. "Why would I," she says, "now that I've got the man back I love." She asks if he still wants three kids.

"No," says Patch, "I've run out of clothing and crop names."

Ava smooches and cuddles. The squeaking of her leather coat rubbing against his leather jacket rubbing against the leather seats drowns out the remainder of the conversation. Finally, the car stops. "We're home," says Ava

Lexie takes Kayla to lie down. Bo sits alone and starts to get out of bed again.

EJ doesn't know if Marlena will be happy about helping. They argue about that. Mickey interrupts the Bickersons and says his experience is not in immigration law.

"Just what is your specialty," says EJ.

"Filing appeals for clients whose cases I have bungled," says Mickey. He leaves. Bicker-o-rama ensues. Sami decides she has a plan. They leave.

Outside, Mickey hires two winos as interns.

Patch and Ava walk in. Steve and Hope/Kayla rush each other but Ava separates them, "Not so close. Ava insists she has been treating Hope well. Hope isn't so sure. The wackaroo tells Patch, "I love you but Kayla has turned you into a sniveling little wimp. She broke you and I can fix you." Ava gets upset when she discovers Hope has been going through her stuff.

Bo stands and hyperventilates, "Hang on fancy face, I'm gonna find you."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Shawn and Belle Classics

Prevuze remembers Shawn and Belle with a few Shelle classics:

Have an enjoyable weekend, everybody.

Friday, March 28, 2008

She Blows Up Like A Puffer Fish

EJ barges into Sami's apartment, "Honey, I'm home!" He picks her up and twirls her around the room. Sami squeals and tells him to put her down. EJ sets her down and clears his throat, "I guess that might have been a little inappropriate."

"Could you please knock for once," asks Sami. EJ says he shouldn't have to knock when he's coming into his apartment. They argue about whose apartment it is. "It's our apartment," booms EJ.

"What are you talking about," asks Sami.

"My marvelous news."

Chelsea is with her private nurse as Nick comes in. He has marvelous news, too. Maybe they both heard DOOL has been canceled. Nick says he'll share it when Max and Stephanie arrive.

As she leaves, the nurse cautions Nick, "Don't get her too excited." Chelsea wiggles her eyebrows up and down.

Ava is excited about getting back with Patch. Hope/Kayla is excited because this thing will be over. Ava says, "I know you think he's gonna want to stay with you, don't you?"

Hope/Kayla says, "And if he does?"

Ava says, "Well that won't be good for any of us."

They continue bickering until Hope/Kayla brings up the fact that Ava sabotaged the plane, "Three people died in that crash! Well, actually there were two deaths and one needless suicide."

Ava insists she didn't kill anyone. She tosses her cousins under the bus for that one. She insists the plane was never supposed to get off the ground. As they deplaned Patch would have snuck away and come to her and talked about the old days, "He would have remembered he loved me. And then... happily ever after."

Hope reminds her Patch got off the plane. Ava says it wasn't like it was supposed to be so she ran. She's sorry about the deaths. Hope/Kayla snaps, "Sorry doesn't bring them back!" Ava asks about Hope/Kayla's father. Hope/Kayla tells her he gave up his life for his son, "He didn't die in the crash. He died at 30,000 feet."

Nick wonders where Max and Stephanie are. He'll tell all when they get there. Morgan arrives. Chelsea says, "Nick has some big exciting news to share."

Morgan gasps, "What is it?"

Nick says, "I don't want to say until Max and Stephanie get here. It'll save time if I can bore the whole bunch of you at the same time." Morgan asks if she can stay for the big whoop. Finally Max and Stephanie arrive.

EJ agrees, "OK – no more swinging you around like a rag doll." He tells her he's just come back from the INS, and they actually showed a little compassion, "All we need to do is show them that we are married in more than just name only." Sami cocks her head and gives him a look.

Hope fills Ava in on the flight of death, "OMB died like he lived – sucking, because he gave his mask to Bo."

So, Nick drops the big news. He got both renewable energy grants he applied for. Morgan takes the opportunity to crawl all over Nick as Chelsea wretches. Max broods. Stephanie asks whets wrong. Max insists he's excited and congratulates Nick. He decides he has to run. Stephanie grabs him on the way out. Max says he's happy for Nick and leaves.

Sami insists the vows they took didn't have anything to do with love, "So what do I have to do?"

EJ smiles, "What I want you to do is what you do better than anyone else. It's something you did well at our wedding ceremony and you do it on a daily basis. I want you to lie through your teeth."

Hope/Kayla continues the saga of the plane of doom. Ava sniffles but denies she's crying. She says nothing like that was supposed to happen, "What was your father's last name?"


What was his first name?"


Ava knocks and tells Angelo she has to leave. Angelo protests but finally caves in. Ava tells him to watch Hope/Kayla. As she walks out, she says, "Shawn Brady."

Max carries beer to OMB's grave. He pours OMB a glass and has one himself. He tells OMB Nick got his grant. "Nick makes mistakes from time to time," says Max, "He needed a little guidance." Max says he knows he'll never go back to school. Right now he's cool with running the pub and taking care of Caroline. But he wants to find something else so he can take care of Stephanie.

"She's your niece," says OMB, "People will talk."

EJ holds the totally SORASed little Johnny. Sami thinks she has done enough lying for EJ, "I want to hear you beg."

EJ plays his trump card, "Do it for Johnny."

Sami agrees, "What's the plan?"

"Pretty simple," says EJ, "You have to love me."

Sami huffs, "We have to be realistic." Meanwhile, Johnny leafs through brochures trying to decide which college to attend next year.

Nick rambles about the grants. Chelsea wonders where Max is. "He had to go," says Stephanie.

"He's been away a while," says Chelsea, "He could have just used the bathroom next door."

Ava walks up to OMB's grave. Max wonders who she is. "I'm nobody," says Ava, "Were you related to him?"

"He was my father," says Max.

"He was Kayla's father, too," says Ava, "So it would be totally inappropriate for you to date her daughter, wouldn't it?"

"Did you know him," asks Max.

"No," says Ava, "A friend told me about him."

"He was the best man I've ever known," says Max, "Not the smartest, though."

Ava puts flowers on OMB's grave. She asks Max to tell her a little about him. "He was from Ireland," says Max, "He had a pub in Salem and in recent years gained a bit of fame as the poster boy for Alzheimer's." Max goes on and on. Ava thinks OMB sounds wonderful.

Max starts to leave. As he turns, OMB asks, "Hey, Max, could I have a refill on that beer?"

Ava whimpers, stoops and apologizes to OMB.

EJ and Sami arrive at Chez Rouge. They tell Maggie they are there to meet the INS guy.

Maggie senses a juicy story brewing, "Are you having visa problems."

"Yes," says EJ, "We've gone over our limit."

Maggie shows them to the table. Sami and EJ start bickering to prove they are married.

Hope wanders around the room looking for a way out. She picks up a small bust and uses it as a hammer on the window lock. If anyone knows how to make the best use of a small bust, it's Hope.

Nick rambles about the grant. The girls are so drowsy you'd think they were watching a DOOL marathon. Max comes back and picks up right where Nick has left off rambling on and on about the virtues and oh-so-complex molecular structure of hydrogen, "It only has one electron, but it's kind of hard to keep track of. There is a lot of hydrogen in ice. I saw that on TV once."

"If ice has a lot of hydrogen," asks Morgan, "What about water?"

"It evaporates when the ice melts," says Max the genius.

"But I thought water was H2O," says Morgan

"See," says Max, "That proves it. Water has H's, but no hydrogen."
Nick takes over and continues his diatribe.

Morgan goes up to Max and lectures him for nearly ruining Nick's project. Max insists Nick is his friend, "The machine wouldn't have worked anyway... uh, I just needed a piece of paper for a phone number."

"Just be happy I told only Nick," snorts Morgan. Stephanie drags Max away.

Ava sits in the back of her limo talking to Daddy on the phone. Daddy agrees to do something for her. Ava hangs up and remembers her silk sheet romp with Patch.

Hope pounds and the window comes open. The alarm goes off as Hope considers the long drop.

EJ and Sami continue to bicker as the INS guy takes notes. Sami decides EJ's fish is too dry and overdone, so she calls the waiter over and tells him to take it back and bring him another, "EJ likes his fish rare. Except for sushi, which he likes really well done."

Sami puts about a half ton of salt on her food. EJ tells her to cool it and turns to the INS agent, "Samantha has to watch how much salt she uses. She blows up like a puffer fish.

Burke asks about their daily routine. EJ fields that one, "We spend a lot of time taking care of the kids and then, of course, there's the incessant love making."

"When he's able to perform," says Sami.

EJ chuckles, "Very funny."

Burke asks about the fact they have separate apartments. They insist they live together, but EJ just has his stuff in his other apartment. "EJ doesn't like change," says Sami, "So he watches DOOL." He tells Mr. Burke he's looking for a job. "The bills are piling up," says Sami, "So we have to cut into our lovemaking so EJ can find some time to look for work."

Maggie comes to the table and announces EJ has a phone call. He excuses himself and smooches Sami as he leaves. One kiss leads to another until Sami cuts things off.

Once he walks away, Maggie tells him there isn't a call, "It looks like things aren't going well." The town busybody has a plan to come to the rescue.

Burke asks if Sami loves her husband. Sami gulps.

Nutty Ava obsesses, "I'll give that SOB one minute and then things will get ugly."

As the alarm blares, Angelo rushes in and grabs Hope/Kayla, "Someone's being a very naughty little girl." He tells her to just sit back and relax as he moves a little closer. Hope/Kayla whaps him away.

The following is a Prevuze public
service announcement.

Beginning on February 17, 2009, the Federal Communications Commission has mandated a switch to a new format of television broadcasting. Beginning on that date, your over-the-air television set will become useless. From that point forward, it will only receive Days Of Our Lives.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Man-Woman Thing

Maggie shows John to a table at Chez Rouge. Obsessive-Compulsive John rearranges some of the table setting and puts a box on the table. Marlena walks in and says she got a call to come over there but doesn't know what it's about. Doesn't anyone in this town ask? Maggie throws a look over toward John. "Looky there," says Marlena. Maggie's radar goes up. With Hope out of commission the burden of spreading rumors and gossip all over Salem is now exclusively on her shoulders. It's a tough job, but eternal vigilance is the hallmark of a world-class busybody.

Abe assures Bo officers are looking for Hope. Bo gets a call. Patch tells him not to bring the cops in on this. Bo promises, hangs up and tells Abe to call his dogs off.

Stephanie arrives at Patch and Kayla's room. Patch says he needs to go see Bo while she babysits Kayla.

Hope/Kayla wants to make a call. Ava vetoes, thinking she will call the cops. Hope says she wants to call Patch. Ava thinks he will have the cops come down on them. Hope/Kayla wonders what Daddy would do if he knew about Ava's planned future with Steve. Ava says Daddy will never know. He's out of town. And the guys guarding her would never tell, "They all blame Patch for what happened to me and they would all like to see him dead."

Hope/Kayla says, "How passé. That's already been done."

Lexie walks in as Abe questions Bo's request. Bo says, "I just overreacted and panicked."

"That's exactly what we've taught you to do on the SPD," says Abe. Bo is sure Hope will call when she wakes up. Or maybe she's shopping and her phone is dead. Abe wonders why Bo is suddenly so calm. Lexie notices Bo may be calm, but his machines are broadcasting bad vibes. She tells Bo to rest as she and Abe leave.

Patch tells Stephanie not to disturb Kayla. He fills her in on Kayla's cramps. Stephanie says, "I just wish you would tell me what's going on. Does it have to do with Ava or not."

Patch says, "I didn't quite catch that. Could you whine it again? " Stephanie decides to trust him. She's always had bad judgment. Patch leaves.

Marlena joins John. They bicker about why he invited her to dinner. Marlena claims he lured her there. John wants to put the business of the docks behind them. Marlena asks, "Why do you suddenly care what I think of you?" John grins.

Kayla, who has been sleeping on the couch through all this, wakes and thinks maybe Patch went for food. The woman's become an eating machine. Stephanie sends her to the bedroom for a post-nap nap. Kayla leaves and Max shows up. He knows Stephanie got a call from Patch and asks what's up.

"How did you know I got that call," asks Stephanie.

"Maggie's on the job," says Max, "Eternal vigilance is the hallmark of a world-class busybody."
She says if she tells, he has to promise not to blab.

Bo is restless. Lexie comes back in and tells him whatever is going on could affect his health. Having her as a doctor could affect it more. Bo asks her to trust him. Lexie agrees but they both decide to call out the Marines if Hope isn't back by morning. If they call the Marines instead of the SPD, they might actually find her. He asks about Roman. Lexie says he will be back tomorrow.

"How do you know that," asks Bo.

"Maggie's on the job," says Lexie, "Eternal vigilance is the hallmark of a world-class busybody."

Patch joins them. Lexie tells him not to get Bo riled up. She leaves. Bo riles.

Ava thinks once Daddy sees how much Patch has helped her he will accept him. Hope/Kayla says their love is great and won't be able to get Patch away from her. She tells Ava they met 20 years ago. Ava is shocked to know Hope/Kayla has known him that long. Hope/Kayla says it took a while but she finally landed him and they were in love. She says he only loved Ava because he wasn't with her, "Everyone thought he died."

Marlena agrees to sit down, but not to have a drink. John tells her he doesn't know why her opinion of him matters, but it does. That would make Marlena happy if he were having memories.

"Don't start in with that again," says John, "You're smart, classy and have gone out of your way to help me."

"One out of three ain't bad," says Marlena.

"That's my way of apologizing," says John, "Don't try to analyze me."

"We'll see," says Marlena. John tells her the box on the table is for her, "It won't bite."

"There is more than one way to be bitten," says Marlena. She opens the box. Bright light floods Chez Rouge. There are no diamonds left in South Africa.

John smiles, "All is forgiven, right?"

Marlena scowls, "Wrong."

Stephanie fills Max in on the situation. Max thinks this will stress Kayla, but he's glad she told him. "This has me scared and worried," says Stephanie.

"And whiney," says Max. He asks if Stephanie wants him to snoop around. Stephanie tells him Ava's dad is a crime boss. Max reconsiders, "In any event," says Max SAY IT WITH HIM, "I will be there for you." Hugs. Stephanie bites her lip. Don't we wish that were permanent.

Hope/Kayla tells Ava about the bomb incident long ago and then Patch coming back last year. She says he was only with Ava when he didn't know who he was, "Once he remembered, he remembered me."

Loony Ava visits the dark side, "You don't know when to shut up do you?" Ava may be a wack-job, but she got that one right.

Hope goes bonkers and says she is upset about being kidnapped, "So we are both upset. Let me go and we'll call it even."


Patch tells Bo he knows Hope is with a woman named Ava Vitali. He tells him about the call he got from Hope. Bo rages, "What the hell is going on?"

Patch fills him in and tells him Ava caused the plane crash. She's threatening Kayla and the unborn child. Patch can't call the cops because he can't get a bead on her.

"If you can't call the cops, why not call Maggie," asks Bo, "She's always on the job. Eternal vigilance is the hallmark of a world-class busybody."

Patch drops the big bomb, "For some reason the crazy bitch thinks Hope is Kayla."

John is confused, "You don't like it?"

"You were right when you said you weren't remembering," says Marlena, "If so you would know things like this don't matter to me. I prefer pearls."

John says, "It's not a bribe, it's a gift." Speaking of bribes Marlena throws the customs agent in his face.

"I read diamonds are a girls best friend."

"My best friend is my husband," says Marlena, "and I miss him. Diamonds are a close second."

Max and Stephanie are glued to each other. Max says, "There is something I want to tell you and I would want it to be more romantic, but this will have to do."

"What is it," asks the ever-curious Stephanie.

Max is tongue-tied, "I... uh... feel... very strongly for you." Stephanie giggle-cries.

Hope wants Ava's story. It starts in bed. We flash back to a hot time in the silk sheets. Patch says, "The old man would kill me if he knew I was here. But it makes it a little more exciting."

"It couldn't be more exciting," says Ava.

"This is DOOL," says Patch, "Watching garbage rot is more exciting. I love you, baby."

"Make an honest woman out of me," begs Ava.

"I don't think Daddy would approve."

"I don't care what Daddy thinks."

"Daddy cares," says Patch. Ava asks if Patch is worried about what Daddy might do to him. Patch is worried Daddy will keep them apart. Ava thinks marriage solves that. Silk sheet round two starts up.

Ava tells Hope/Kayla Patch loved her more than anyone and will again.

Patch tells Bo to calm down. Bo explodes, "You wait for a phone call while Ava does God knows what to my wife!"

God pipes in, "What makes you think I know? I have to check with Maggie. "Eternal vigilance is the hallmark of a world-class busybody."

Marlena is sorry John went to all this trouble and expense. He can't buy her forgiveness like he did the customs agent, "It's wrong, immoral and illegal."

"Your point," asks John.

Stephanie's reaction wasn't exactly what Max wanted. "I'm sorry," mocks Stephanie, "but I FEEL STRONGLY?. Are you afraid to say THE word?"

Max insists he doesn't know what she's talking about. Plymouth Rock must have a higher IQ than Max. He says, "Thank you for ruining the moment."

"For the record," says Stephanie "I'm not afraid to say it. I just haven't gotten around to it. Love. There. Are you happy?" Whether he's happy or not, Max figures that's his cue. He moves in. Kayla comes out and watches the uncle counsel his niece.

Ava says she and Patch had wonderful times together, but she only wants to talk about her future with him. Hope wants proof that Patch loves her. She dares her to call him and get him there.

Patch vows to get Hope back safely. He doesn't have any idea how Ava thought Hope was Kayla. Bo says, "Nothing better happen to Hope. If she is hurt in any way, I will kick your butt!"

John and Marlena go over the same ground. Marlena wants her real husband not the necklace. She books. On the way out, she gives the necklace to Maggie.

Kayla makes a strategic sound. Max and Stephanie come up for air. She reminds them everyone doesn't remember Max was adopted, "You should be prepared for comments, especially from that bigmouth Prevuze, who will have a field day with this."

Hope/Kayla doesn't want to upset Ava. She just wants to get back to her life. "We'll see who gets what she wants," sneers Ava.

"OK," goads Hope/Kayla, "But first you gotta make the call."

Patch says he will handle things. He gets a call. "It's restricted," says Patch, "It could be her."

Maggie opens the box and gasps. She says she can't accept it. "Well then," says Marlena, "sell it and give the money to charity." Marlena leaves.

Maggie contemplates the situation, "I'll have this all over town in fifteen minutes. Eternal vigilance is the hallmark of a world-class busybody." She takes the diamonds back to John's table, "That didn't go well, did it?"

"Not exactly," says John, "I'm not good at the man-woman thing."

"That might not be true," says Maggie, "A lot of women would go gaga over this."

"Not that woman," says John. Maggie says if he really wants to impress Marlena, he should do what she suggested – sell it and give the money away. John doesn't want to impress her any more, "She's too high maintenance."

"We know that isn't true," says Maggie. Uh-oh. Looks like her eternal vigilance has failed her at last.

Kayla says she's happy not to have Patch hovering over her, "You know your dad – he never stops worrying."

Patch answers the phone. It's Ava. He asks to talk to Hope/Kayla. Ava says no, but assures him she is all right. Ava tells him to meet her in the alley by the roadhouse where they used to meet.

"Will Kayla be with you," asks Patch.

The wackadoodle snorts, "Stop asking questions if you want see your pregnant little wife again."

"She's not so little," says Patch, "She's been hitting the chips and dip pretty hard lately."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Nice Chariot

Dr. Dan comes into Chelsea's room as he barks orders to someone out in the hall. Chelsea stuffs her make up kit under her covers. Daniel picks up Chelsea's chart and the blood drains from his face. Chelsea panics and asks what is wrong, "OK," says Dr. Dan, "I'll tell you what it means."

Chloe interrupts Phillip's business tycoon telephone call. Phillip takes one look at her and drops his jaw, "Damn! You clean up nice." Translation: Aw heck, you don't need a translation. Chloe says, "I have an audition."

Patch sleeps on the couch. Kayla sneaks out of her bedroom and tiptoes over to the door. She very quietly turns the knob and is set to make her escape. We hear Patch's voice, "Where do you think you are going?"

Lexie asks, "Where do you think you are going?"

Bo grimaces, "To find Hope."

Ava sticks the phone into Hope/Kayla's face, "Call him. This is not a request, Kayla. Call Patch."

Daniel says, "This isn't what we expected. We have to move you."

Chelsea whines, "To ICU? I thought I was going home today. What's wrong with me?"

Daniel says, "I'm not the one that should break this to you."

Daniel flings the door open and we see Stephanie sitting there in a wheelchair decorated to the gills, "You're going home!" The brat is not amused.

Lexie lectures Bo for getting out of bed. Bo wants to go find Hope. "This operation was complex," says Lexie, "It wasn't as simple as if we had done brain surgery on you.. I am telling you to get your butt back in that bed before I jam a needle full of sedatives into it."

John Black zoops in and moons Lexie, "Don't bogart that needle, doc." Bo still wants someone to find Hope and tell him she's OK.

Patch waits. Kayla explains she was going to see Bo. Patch vetoes that move, but his phone interrupts the conversation. Patch hears the voice on the other end, "Hello darling, it's Kayla."

Chelsea is not at all pleased, "You freaked me out!"

"That should make going home that much sweeter," says the ever-forgivable Dr. Dan. Stephanie drools and asks if Daniel is staying in town. Daniel says the hospital board has made him an offer, but he can't say. Daniel and Max leave so Chelsea can dress. Watching that is something neither of them could stand.

Stephanie goes into cardiac arrest, "He is so sweet!"

Daniel tells Max Bo isn't out of the woods.

Chloe tells Phillip she's going to audition to be in an opera because the lead singer got pregnant.

"What part," asks Phillip.

"Her womb." Chloe thinks she was born for this role and figures the audition is just a formality.

Patch tells the mystery caller she got the wrong number. Hope/Kayla says, "Steve, knock it off. It's Kayla. I'm here with Ava." Hope/Kayla says Ava would like her to stay a while until he gets his priorities straight, "She wants a little chat." Ava yanks the phone.

Patch tries to look calm as real Kayla soaks it all in. "You don't need to do this," he says.

Unzipped Ava snorts, "You didn't need to run out on me."

"Take it easy," says Patch, "Everything is good."

"NO," screams the nut job, "Poor Kayla will have to deal with me if I get in a bad mood. You should worry a lot and keep this conversation to yourself." She hangs up.

Kayla is just a bit confused, "Who was that?"

Dr. Dan knocks and yells through the door, "Are you decent?"

The response comes back through the door, "No, it's the same old Chelsea." Daniel goes in and we have the big goodbye hug. He leaves. Stephanie offers Chelsea some advice, "Put your eyes back in your head. In other words, do as I say, not as I do."

Patch tells Kayla it's a long story. Well, conveniently, Kayla is trapped there and has a whole lot of time to listen. Patch decides to come clean, "This is something I've needed to tell you for a long time..." If you haven't already guessed what happens next, you fail DOOL 101. Kayla doubles over in pain.

Bo gets out of bed. Lexie catches him and we have the same lecture and scene as before, sans John's moon job. Bo asks her to get Abe there ASAP.

Suddenly, Bo has a pain. Lexie stays in the room anyway. She tells him Abe is on the way. She discovers Bo has pulled a stitch, and throws a fit, "Tell me if this hurts." PUNCH! Nope, that didn't hurt manly Bo. PUNCH! Nope. Macho Bo can take anything. PUNCH! He-man Bo screams like a little girl and shrivels up. Abe walks in as Bo tries to recover. He tells Abe to put an APB out on Hope.

"An APB," asks Abe, "What is it?"

"It's a broadcast message that tells police to be on the lookout for someone," says Bo. Abe asks to talk to Lexie outside.

Outside, he tells Lexie he wanted 'alone time' but they can't do it. Abe wants to do it soon. He also wants some 'alone time.' The tweeners interrupt. They want to go in and see Bo. "OK," says Lexie, "But take it easy. He pulled a stitch when I pounded him in the gut."

They wheel into Bo's room and Chelsea tells him she's been sprung. But who, oh who, will take care of the brat while she is on the mend?

Ava says Patch can be a nice guy when he wants but he has a dark side, "Have you seen his dark side?"

"Yeah," says Hope/Kayla, "His left eye is dark all the time."

Ava insists they were in love, "Is he really in love with you? Oh, of course he's not. I should have asked, do you THINK he's in love with you?"

"Is that a question you want me to answer," asks Hope/Kayla.

"If he is in love with you, I feel like hurting him. If he's not in love with you, I feel like hurting him," says the wackadoodle, "I still feel the pain." She doesn't really want to hurt Hope/Kayla, though. She's sorry she has to put Hope/Kayla through the heartache but it can't be helped. Hope/Kayla says what Steve did to Ava was awful.

"You're trying to work me," says the nutcase, "I am not stupid. Wacko yes. Stupid no. Patch has to hurt a little before we get back together. Do you want your sandwich?"

Patch helps Kayla sit down, "I suppose sex is out of the question, right? " He calls Dr. Elman who says she will make a house call, proving once and for all DOOL is a complete work of fiction. Patch helps Kayla into the bedroom.

Chloe stomps in. She tells Phillip she nailed the part, but they don't want her. They found out about her reputation in Austria. Phillip assures her his father will find Brady even if Interpol doesn't. Phillip believes Chloe.

Dr. Elman arrives and rushes in to see Kayla. Steve dials. He tells the operator he just got a call and the ID is restricted. He needs the number.

Bo would invite Chelsea to stay with them but Hope's got her hands full. Max suggests, "You can stay with me and Ma. That way I can dump all the work on her." Bo doesn't think that's a good idea either. Bo asks Max to get his phone for him.

Hope/Kayla eats her sandwich. Ava thinks this proves she's not such an ogre. Hope/Kayla thinks Ava has some redeeming qualities and is beautiful, also. Ava thinks Hope/Kayla is patronizing her. Ava is so sorry she just has to take Patch from Hope/Kayla. She asks how Ava and Patch met. Ava says they were both hailing a cab; they shared a ride, and then grabbed a coffee together, "He had me by the end of the first latte." She brought him home to meet Daddy, who gave him a job. They were together almost two years. They were going to get married. Ava describes how the wedding would have been. But Daddy didn't want her to marry Patch so they ran away. They found a preacher who got witnesses but the wedding didn't go through. Ava doesn't want to talk about it.

Sometimes she hates Patch. "With good reason," says Hope/Kayla. After the non-wedding, Ava went home and cried and hit things, and then she got sick.

Abe knows Hope is missing, but it hasn't been long enough for an APB. He'll do it unofficially if he has to.

Phillip "comforts" Chloe. His phone interrupts them. Bo asks a favor. He wants a place for Chelsea to stay. Phillip offers to hire a nurse and have her stay at the mansion. Done deal. Chelsea thanks Bo. With all that settled, the tweeners leave Bo's room. As they go, Bo takes a look at the gay wheelchair and gives Max a parting shot, "Nice chariot." After they go, Bo squirms. He gets a call. Patch says he needs to talk to him about Hope.

Ava asks what it was like marrying Patch.

Patch tells Bo he doesn't know exactly where Hope is. He asks Bo to trust him. He tells Bo not to involve the police, but he's on the way. The connection breaks. Bo is confused, but he's used to that.

Max can't believe Chelsea will have a full time nurse, "I've always wanted a full-time nurse myself." The girls roll their eyes as Daniel catches up with them and wastes time with another irrelevant goodbye.

Dr. Elman says Kayla can walk from the bed to the couch to the bathroom. She says she has given Kayla something to make her drowsy – A week's worth of DOOL videos.

"I'll keep an eye on her," says Patch.

"I certainly didn't expect you to keep two eyes on her," says Dr. Elman.

Ava wants to know what it's like to be married to Patch, "I gave you a sandwich so tell me." Hope/Kayla asks to make one more call.

Patch phones Stephanie and asks her to come home, "NOW."

Abe walks in and tells Bo to take it easy. He vows to find Hope.

Patch tucks Kayla in and makes another call, "Come on Bo, pick up."

Abe tells Bo officers are looking for Hope right now, "On their own time. They've scoured every donut shop in town."

Ava tells Hope/Kayla she isn't going to have her happy ending. The fruitcake is certain she and Patch will wind up together.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Friends Don't Chloroform Friends

Max sits down at the Java Café and drowns his troubles with a vente vanilla latte. Phillip comes in and walks over to him, "You look lost in thought, Max."

"That's true," says Max, "Whenever I'm in thought, I'm lost." Max grills him about what is going on at the docks. Phillip just tells him to keep thoughts like that to himself. He changes the subject, "Uh, so you used to date Paul Hollingsworth's daughter?"

Max says, "Morgan, yeah."

Phillip asks, "What's the story with her? She's awfully damn cute."

Morgan and Stephanie come into Chelsea's room squealing and hauling presents. Small talk ensues. Chelsea's bed collapses from the weight of the stuffed toys.

Kate joins Tony in his office. Tony is effervescent. Kate tells him she's chosen his firm for her promotion. Tony is delighted. A call interrupts Kate. It's Anna wondering about her decision.

Lexie comes in to see Bo. He survives anyway. He calls for Hope and then wakes up. Lexie tells him Hope went home to spend time with Ciara.

"Why would she want to spend time with a total stranger instead of me," asks Bo. He tells Lexie he dreamed about Hope.

"Nightmares are a common side effect of your medication," says Lexie. Bo says in his dream, Hope was off in the distance and he couldn't reach her. Lexie suggests calling her. She dials and hands Bo the phone. Bo gets voicemail.

Hope surveys her room. She finds a letter opener and tries to pick the lock. Ava comes in with a snack as Hope hides the shiv. Ava tells her Angelo is guarding the room, "You don't want to mess with my cousin." Hope wants to get back to her husband. Ava nukes, "Don't you ever call him that! He was in love with me long before he ever met you."

Max warns Phillip not to use Morgan to get to her father. Phillip leaves. Things are tense.

The girls tell Chelsea they heard she might be going home today. They have to get to their internships, and tell Chelsea she has to get an internship, too, once she gets sprung from the hospital. Chelsea isn't sure what she wants to do when she gets out of there. The girls leave.

Kate tells Anna this isn't a good time. She says she's meeting with Tony right now and has selected his firm. Anna takes it well. The mushroom cloud is visible for miles.

Bo leaves a message for Hope on her cell and at home. He also calls Caroline and asks about her, "Ciara is still with you? Have you seen Hope? And you haven't heard from her again. I'm sure everything's fine." He hangs up and Lexie tells him not to worry. She comes up with every rationalization in the book as to why he can't find Hope. They wheel Chelsea in. Bo has a relapse.

Ava says she just wants a little conversation with Hope/Kayla, "I thought we could be friends."

"Friends don't chloroform friends," Hope/Kayla sticks out her hand, "My name is Kayla Johnson. We're going to have a nice little talk about Steve."


"Steve and my unborn baby," says Hope, "And then you will let me go.

Ava says, "I don't think I said anything about letting you go."

The girls order two double mocha lattes. Phillip walks up behind them and says, "On me."

All too happy to oblige, the girls turn and pour the double mocha lattes all over his suit. The girls wonder if Phillip might have an ulterior motive. He agrees, "I do."

Chelsea and Bo share a tender zappertunity. "I could beat you with a stick for doing what you did," says Bo, "but thank you. You saved my life."

"I love you, Dad," says Chelsea, "I figured it was my turn to give something to you."

Ava says Hope/Kayla will be there until Patch joins them and realizes he made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving her. He'll dump Hope/Kayla and come back to Ava just like that.

Phillip says he saw two beautiful women in desperate need of caffeine. He also saw Morgan and Stephanie. He's making up for the way he treated Morgan's father. Morgan thinks he should apologize to Paul himself. Phillip says he will as soon as his ships are out of quarantine. He leaves and the girls talk about their internships. They hope working at competing firms won't affect their friendship. They also talk about the fact that their bosses have the hots for each other.

Suddenly, professor DiCario joins them. He tells them they have to record the internships so the school can ascertain their grade. He introduces David Chapman, who will photograph Stephanie and Mark Keener for Morgan.

Anna talks to the elusive Lumburg. He's disappointed. Somehow, however, Anna has bagged a small part of Kate's business. She is confident once Kate sees the figures for the product line they're handling for her Tony will dump Kate in a NY minute. Lumburg says Anna's job is on the line. Stephanie walks into Anna's office with David following and recording the big event.

Tony tells Kate he doesn't think Anna can compete with him. Kate says Anna had some impressive ideas. Tony hopes it's not presumptuous, but has champagne brought in. He pours and spills some on Kate's blouse. He grabs a napkin from the tray and does a very thorough job of wiping it off, as Morgan comes in with Mark recording the event behind her.

Abe joins Lexie at the hospital. She fills him in on Bo's condition, "He's still with us, despite my best efforts."

"I was interviewing a mugger and thought of you," says Abe. He wants Lexie to leave so they can spend some time together, but she can't. She says she should be home in time to put Theo to bed. That's just when Abe's shift starts.

They just can't seem to ever get together. "Why couldn't things have been this easy when I was running around with Tek," asks Lexie.

Hope/Kayla reminds Ava Steve wasn't happy to see her when she threatened his wife and the baby. She also brings up sabotaging the plane. Ava says she did that so she could keep I grounded. Hope/Kayla reminds her of the crash and the fact that her father died, "You're crazy."

Ava explodes, "Don't you call me crazy!" Hope asks how she's going to get Steve there. "I have my ways," says Ava.

Morgan promises never to come in with out knocking again. She introduces Mark and explains what he's up to. Tony announces Kate has given them the majority of her account. Phillip comes in. He sees Morgan and asks, "This is where you work."

"You two know each other," asks Kate.

Anna scowls, "If any of this shows up on the Internet, you are in big trouble." Max interrupts with a bouquet of flowers large enough to completely decorate the Salem Spring Home and Garden Show. He asks, "What's with the camera?"

Chelsea is surprised Hope isn't with Bo. She says she plans to go home and rest and have Nick wait on her hand and foot, and also to see if Daniel makes house calls. They're thankful to have each other, proving once and for all misery loves company. "After all," says Bo, "We share a vital organ."

Chelsea reminds him, "The pancreas is a gland."

Bo is aware of that, "But 'vital gland' doesn't have the same ring."

Ava says she won't have to force Patch because she is in his heart. Hope/Kayla asks, "Once you get Steve back you'll be well?"

"You make it sound like I'm sick," says the sicko, "What I need is the man I love."

Hope/Kayla tries to butter her up, "You don't need a man to complete you."

"Wow. You don't have a clue about love."

"That's wrong," says Hope, "I love a guy who doesn't have a clue." Ava swears in the end she will have Patch. Hope thinks she's being smug for a woman trapped in her own castle. She knows how much it must've hurt when Patch left.

Ava doesn't want to talk about it any more, "You just put Patch in a room with me and I'll win hands down. You'll have to raise the brat all by yourself."

"Well," says Hope, "Now that Chelsea's grown, there's room for another brat in our house."

Chelsea vows to stay with Bo until Hope gets back.

Abe and Lexie figure they're just a career couple and have to accept that fact. They decide they have to find a way to spend more time together. Smoochies and bye-byes.

Morgan and Phillip talk about meeting at the dock and the Java café. Tony asks what he can do for Phillip.

Stephanie explains the cameraman to Max. Anna takes the flowers out to put them in water. Stephanie thanks him with a kiss. The camera rolls. David apologizes. Stephanie and Max decide to get together later. Smoochies and bye-byes.

Phillip proposes hiring Tony to promote their shipping line. Tony is interested. Phillip will have his secretary call. Morgan chimes in, "Hopefully I can be a part of the team that services your needs." Kate clears her throat. Morgan attempts to dislodge her foot from her mouth.

Bo calls Steve and asks about Hope. Steve is clueless. He also doesn't know where Hope is.

Ava talks about the love she and Patch shared. She tells Hope/Kayla not to underestimate her. Hope/Kayla would never do that. She knows Ava has already been able to figure out she is Kayla, and that she is pregnant. She also knows Ava caused a plane to crash.

Morgan and Phillip shake hands and say goodbye. Kate and Tony likewise. Phillip, Kate and Tony leave. Morgan turns to the camera, "I hate you."

They come to wheel Chelsea out. She vows to keep returning until Bo gets well. "And there I was hoping for a speedy recovery," says Bo.

Ava says Hope/Kayla is the one who will get Steve to join them. She orders her to call Patch, "Tell him to do what you say or he will never see you again."

Bill & Hillary send Shawn and Belle
off with some sage advice:


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Venom In Her Veins

Kate comes into Chelsea's room and admires her flowers. Chelsea tells her they are from the sisters at Alpha Chi Theta. Kate gives us the perfunctory rundown on Billie just to establish that she cares so much about her daughter. Then she asks where Dr. Jonas is, just as he walks in. Kate wastes no time skewering him. She lectures him for taking care of his other patients and then asks when Chelsea can be released. Basically, Kate has done to Daniel's groin what he did to Chelsea's pancreas. He stands there for a second and then asks, "Miss Roberts, are you unhappy with me." Not just a brilliant doctor, but perceptive, too.

Dr. Johnson selects a fresh leech from her jar and bleeds Bo. Bo wakes and Kayla tells him to go back to sleep. He tells her it's hard to breathe the way she's suffocating him. Bo insists he's fine. Kayla lectures him for giving them a scare. Bo goes on the counterattack by telling Kayla she shouldn't be working in her delicate condition. Kayla hovers. Bo hovers.

Outside, Hope is on the phone, "Are you sure it's OK for you to keep what's her name for a little while longer while I go shopping?" Hope talks. Ava stalks. Ava slams a rag full of chloroform over Hope's mouth. Hope gurgles and gasps.

Chelsea tells Kate to be nicer to Dr. Jonas. Kate releases him from the hammerlock. Daniel says Chelsea may be able to go home tomorrow and leaves to check on Bo. Chelsea gets tongue tied as Daniel walks out. Kate wonders why Chelsea doesn’t seem enthusiastic about leaving the hospital.

Kayla and Bo talk about Shawn's trip. Bo is disappointed he couldn't check out Shawn's boat before he left. "You can do that later," says Kayla, "as long as your scuba gear is in working condition."

Bo misses sailing, "It gives me a sense of freedom. Most of the time, that is. Sometimes I have to take Hope along."

"Belle and Shawn will be fine," says Kayla, "You learn from the best."

"Thank you."

"I was referring to Pop," says Kayla.

Patch comes in to take Kayla home. Patch hovers. Kayla hovers. Bo hovers. Kayla don' wanna go home. Bo and Patch gang up on her, but they're outnumbered.

Ava drags Hope off as she remembers meeting her, and Hope telling her she loves Steve. Downstairs, Fred Frump, chief of hospital security, sits in front of several TV screens monitoring all activity in the bustling hospital. He wakes from his mid-morning nap and shifts position so he can begin his pre-lunch nap.

Kayla asks if there is anything of OMB's Bo would like to have. Bo says he would like OMB's fishing poles. He remembers fishing with OMB as a boy in their leaky boat. Kayla has already taken the poles for peanut, who may or may not want to go fishing sometime, but Bo can keep his grubby little mitts off them. Bo decides he wants his own fishing pole if Kayla has it. He tells her his pole has his initials carved in the handle. Bo decides if the fishing poles aren't available, he'll take OMB's Pocket watch. "Roman took that," says Kayla. They reminisce about OMB.

"It's weird," says Patch, "Remembering some things makes you happy and remembering some make you sad." I hope the next edition of Bartlett's Quotations hasn't gone to press yet. They wouldn't want to miss including a profound quote like that.

Kate thinks Chelsea has a crush on Daniel. Chelsea grins, "For the umpteenth time I do not have a crush on him."

Kate says, "Come on, Chelsea, you dissolved into a giggly little schoolgirl the minute he walked into the door."

"I don't giggle," giggles Chelsea, "I admire Dr. Jonas. He saved my dad's life but that's it. We're friends."

Daniel comes into Bo's room. Patch gets on his case, wondering where he has been. He tells Daniel about the medication incident. Kayla throws a few adjectives around describing Dr. Evil, who nearly killed Bo. Patch and Kayla leave.

Ava drags hope to the car. Angelo thinks Ava has gone too far. Hope comes around. Ava says, "We have so much to discuss, Kayla." Apparently, Angelo has forgiven Ava for stealing his car, and somehow caught up with her.

Kayla putters and Patch scolds her for breathing. She says she's doing charity work. Patch offers to help. Kayla says she told some of the other people on the committee to get off their butts and do some work, so she thinks she might need a bodyguard. As Patch tells her to relax, she begins making a few notes for the book she's going to write on how to win friends and influence people. The smooching starts. Since kissing Kayla instantly brings other women to mind, Patch remembers telling Stephanie about Ava.

Nick comes in to see Chelsea. Kate leaves to give them some privacy. She tells him she might get out tomorrow. "Good," says Nick, "Life can get back to normal. No one's tried to hide a dead body around here in weeks." Nick doesn't think Chelsea seems to excited about getting out, "Is something wrong?"

Hope asks, "Did you just call me Kayla?"

"So you're Patch's wife," asks Ava. Hope remembers Ava. She says she knows Patch was involved with her.

That gets Ava's attention, "He mentioned me? Did he tell you we were in love."

"He told me," says Hope. Ava thinks Patch will love her again once she takes care of this "situation." She says she knows Hope/Kayla is pregnant with Patch's baby.

Ava has decided she needs a solution to her "little problem." She needs to take Hope/Kayla out of the picture. Hope asks if Ava's going to kill her. Ava says she likes to keep things friendly. She reaches out and Hope snaps at her, "Don't touch me!"

"That wasn't friendly," says Ava.

Chelsea thinks her life or death experience is catching up with her. She's not sure she wants things to go back to the way they were. She thinks this is an opportunity to be a better person. Nick says he likes her just the way she is. Chelsea wants to be the "new" Chelsea, not the old one. Nick wonders if her new path includes him. She tells him it does. The thought of living without her is impossible for Nick. He says a small part of him was angry when she decided to be Bo's donor. He thought she was sacrificing their future together, but he knows why she had to do it. Mostly, he felt proud of her, "I love you, Chelsea."

"I love you, too."

Daniel tells Bo Chelsea is special. Bo reminds him he didn't want her to make that sacrifice. "You'd be dead if she hadn't," says Daniel.

"Don't confuse me with facts," says Bo. He says the thought of losing Chelsea is unbearable.

"Good," says Daniel, "If you're thinking is that messed up I can tell the drugs have kicked in." Bo wishes Hope would not have made the decision she did. But he knows it was a difficult decision for her. Daniel says losing Bo would be unbearable for Hope, too, "She'd have to find an actual dog to live in her doghouse." Bo realizes he's a lucky man, even though he's still married to Hope. he asks what if his body rejects Chelsea's pancreas. Daniel says he's more likely to reject Chelsea.

Bo wants to go see Chelsea and thank her. Daniel vetoes that. He wants to give Bo a sedative. Bo protests. "Come on man," says Daniel, "This is the goooood stuff."

John Black sticks his head in the door, "If he doesn't want it, I'll take it." Bo agrees to take the drugs.

Hope remembers talking to Patch about Ava and decides to play along, "We do need to talk. After all, I am Steve's wife."

Chelsea and Kate chat about her visit with Nick. Chelsea wants to see Bo. Kate will arrange it. She talks about starting her new company. She loves a challenge and loves her new product line. However, she hasn't chosen an ad agency, "I'd prefer to go with Tony rather than that obnoxious blonde Anna, but she has come up with some good ideas." Chelsea will help, but she doesn't want to get caught in the middle of the ad agency selection, since her friend Stephanie works for Anna and her friend Morgan works for Tony.

Kayla is on the phone with Daniel. He says Bo is fine, "He's in his room burning incense and playing Itchykoo Park on the guitar." Daniel gets a page. Kayla hangs up. Patch brings her a steamin' cup of hot chocolate. He has decided he wants to come up with a real baby name instead of something out of a wardrobe or a farm. Kayla suggests Josephine or Caroline, "Or maybe a combination of the two, like Jo-Oline." Patch decides next time not to put so much rum in the hot chocolate.

They decide to work on boy names, "We can't name him after OMB," says Patch, "Bo and Hope already did that. And we certainly can't name him after my jerk of a father or Stephanie's jerk of a father. How about Benjamin? I talked to Sonya, who feels better with Stefano in a coma." Suddenly, Patch zones and remembers the time Ava beat him up.

Angelo wants to talk to Ava alone. As they leave the room, Ava turns to Hope/Kayla, "Try not to steal anything else from me while I'm gone."

Outside, Angelo says he thinks this is a bad idea. Ava assures him nothing bad will happen. She's sick of hurting every single day. She needs closure and would rather die if she doesn't get it. Angelo hugs the sobbing mess.

Inside, Hope checks out the window and paces.

Kate decides to go as Daniel comes in. He and Kate spar a bit and she leaves. "That woman sure has venom in her veins," says Daniel. Daniel checks Chelsea out. He tells her she is a hero and should be proud of herself.

Patch makes a call, "My wife is asleep. You can take a break. Any sign of Ava? Good. I'll be in touch."

Bo wiggles and hyperventilates, "HOPE!"

Angelo tires to calm Ava down, "Just promise you won't do anything to yourself again." We pan to the scars on Ava's wrists, "I won't try to slash my wrists again if you don't force me to watch DOOL." Ava decides they need to get Hope/Kayla something to eat.

Inside, Hope snoops. She finds the Brady pictures and remembers Patch telling her someone's gunning for Kayla, "Don't you worry, Brady, I'll find a way out of here."

Back at the hospital, Bo belts out his rendition of "One Toke Over The Line."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Voyage

Marlena and Hope simply can't control their emotions as they stand on the dock in the early morning mist. John wishes one of the hot dog stands were open. Between them, Marlena and Hope shed enough tears to float the boat as Shawn, Belle and Claire wave goodbye. John thinks the pier could use a coat of paint.

Shawn casts off. "Don't go," yells Marlena.

Hope follows suit, "No, Shawn, please don't go! Because the..." Everything comes crashing down. Hope, Marlena and John find themselves treading water. Hope continues, "...blub boat is blub still tied to the dock blub."

John, Marlena and Hope swim to shore and stand there in their soggy clothes waving and watching the Fancy Face IV recede toward the horizon. Marlena and Hope hug and try to assure themselves Belle, Shawn and Claire will be safe. John takes a more pragmatic point of view, "That boy couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel."

On board, Shawn takes a deep breath, "I love the smell of the open ocean."

"That's the Salem Ironworks," says Belle, "We're not even out of the port yet."

"Right," says Shawn, "But things are still going well..." He gives her a look, "So what do you say you and I take a much deserved break and go downstairs and... you know..." Belle hesitates. "You can fanaticize that I'm Phillip," says Shawn. That does it. Shawn and Belle rush downstairs. Claire lashes herself to the wheel.

Three minutes later we pan up to the bed. Shawn and Belle cuddle. "Was it good for you," asks Shawn.

"Let's put it this way," says Belle, "I haven't exactly had my Phil yet."

Cap'n Shawn decides it's time to get to work. He goes upstairs and takes over from Claire, who has kept them right on course. As Shawn heads for the open sea, Claire jumps overboard. Belle hears Shawn screaming and runs upstairs while Shawn grabs the grappling hook and hands it down to Claire. Claire doesn't want any part of the trip and she pushes the pole away. Belle panics and dives in after her. Despite fighting like a trooper, Belle outweighs her and finally hauls her back into the boat. "What were you thinking," screams Belle.

"I've been on a lot of boats with Dad," says Claire, "And I knew sooner or later he'd throw me overboard and I just wanted to get it over with."

Claire promises she will stay on board. Shawn promises he won't throw her overboard too often. With the crisis over, Shawn looks up and sees nothing but ocean, "OMG, where are we?"

"Go get your sextant and find out," says Claire.

"My what," asks Shawn.

"Never mind," says Claire, "Use the GPS."

"Good idea," says Shawn, "It's a good thing I gave it to your mom for safekeeping."

Belle takes it out of her pocket and Hands it to Shawn. She's not sure why, but she automatically says, "God punishes sinners."

Shawn takes the GPS and stares at it. It's completely waterlogged. Shawn can't get the water out because the instructions are written on the bottom.

"What are we going to do," asks Belle. Shawn stares.

For months the Fancy Face IV wanders in circles in the North Atlantic. The only entertainment they have is listening to people talk on their two-way radio. Since Kayla helped them pack the boat, all they have to eat is chips and dip and that is running out.

The only sign of humanity they see is a scary bearded man who floats by on a raft holding a dodge ball with a face painted on it.

Then, one day, as hope is about to run out, Shawn spots a cruise ship in the distance. The wind is at their back and Shawn makes a beeline for the ship. All three of them scream and wave their arms and jump up and down, but the cruise ship doesn't seem to see them. Shawn knows what he has to do. And if there's one thing Shawn does well... He psychs himself up for it. He remembers the church window... He remembers Victor's living room... He remembers the Fancy Face III... and then...


The force of the collision slams Shawn, Belle and Claire full force into the rock-hard hull of the cruise ship. They are knocked unconscious and their faces are crushed in the force of the blow. The crew on the cruise ship investigates in time to haul the three of them on board, but the Fancy Face IV is lost. Shawn's record is in tact.

The cruise ship is a floating city. On board, passengers have all the amenities, including a fully functional hospital with the most modern medical facilities. Surgeons on board work to reconstruct Belle, Shawn and Claire's crushed faces. It takes several plastic surgeries, but it's a long cruise and the three of them recover.

Just as they have been nursed back to health and are able to contact their families, wonder of wonders, the cruise ship docks in Salem Harbor.

Belle and Shawn call their families and friends who all rush to the port with glee. They get there just in time to see the intrepid trio way off in the distance getting off the ship. They all rush toward each other. Then, as Shawn, Belle and Claire get closer and closer, the crowd can finally make out their faces. Suddenly, everyone in the group of greeters stops and stares. What they see is so shocking, even John shows emotion. Everyone gasps in unison... "OMG!"

They all stand and stare in disbelief at the returning travelers and see...


(Note: This is not one of our infamous forbidden links. This one is squeaky clean.)

Here's hoping your weekend is shockingly great.

Friday, March 21, 2008

The Man Is Scum

Hope comes into Bo's room and finds Kayla. She's surprised to find her there but Kayla explains she has escaped from her crazed captor, "They called me in for a video consult. I know a lot more about video than medicine." No word on where Patch is; probably following the trail of chips and dip.

Kayla says Bo is doing fine as he hovers near death. Hope just came from seeing Ciara, whom she barely recognized. She just doesn't know how Maggie and Grandma are keeping up with her.

"Donuts and coffee," says Kayla, "And they're probably having some donuts and coffee themselves."

They talk about Shawn and Belle's trip. Hope isn't thrilled about the trip but she knows from her own experience it will bond Shawn and Belle forever. Crazy glue no doubt.

BEEEEEEP! Bo's machines go off the charts.

Ava obsesses over Hope's picture, "What am I gonna do with you Kayla? I'm so much prettier than her."

Angelo arrives and we have a big reunion. Angelo hates to see her in prison like this, "Why can't they get you better?"

"I'm fine," says Ava, "You're my favorite cousin. You know I'm emotional. Complicated. Daddy thinks I need a shrink and meds. I'm fine. You know me." Angelo promises always to take care of her. Ava says she can't be happy living like this. Ava knows her father is out now. Angelo just wishes Ava weren't so high maintenance. Ava works him, "You and me would make a great team."

"Yeah," says Angelo, "What you want is that Patch guy. He's no good for you. If it weren’t for him we'd be having big time fun right now. The man is scum."

Ava reels, "Don't you say that!" They argue about things Patch did. Angelo tells her to forget him.

Belle drops the boat trip bomb on Marlena. Shawn says Bo is OK with it. Marlena protests. She wants to know whom else Belle has told. "Well," says Belle, "We told Hope and..."

"OMG," gasps Marlena, "The whole town knows."

Sami walks in and overhears. Belle fills her in. Shawn wants to set sail tomorrow morning. Sami twists her face.

Kayla goes to work on Bo. Dr. Evil storms in and takes charge. Kayla grabs his clipboard. "What the hell are you doing," snaps Dr. Evil.

"I'm trying to save this patient's life," says Kayla.

"That's what I thought I was doing," says Dr. Evil, "You seem to be trying to stop me."

Angelo and Ava continue talking about Patch. Ava gives the rundown of their history. Patch left. Ava lost it and they locked her up. Being with Patch would make Ava all better. She wants him back. She asks Angelo for a grilled cheese sandwich and says she wants to take a walk while he makes it. Angelo resists. Finally, he says he knows he'll regret it, but agrees. He gives her fifteen minutes. Ava leaves. Pan to the picture of Patch and Ava.

Kayla tells Dr. Evil to get out. He challenges her capabilities. She has him read Bo's chart. He reads the indications for the drug he has prescribed and sees that one drop would cause Bo to shrivel up and die. Dr. Evil apologizes and leaves. Kayla tells Hope she will make sure he faces disciplinary procedures. And the writers win the Emmy for the most contrived scene in soap opera history.

"Thank God you were here," says Hope.

"Lets not think about it," says Kayla.

"Not thinking is something we're both good at," says Hope.

Predictably, Angelo brings the grilled cheese sandwich into Ava's room and finds that she hasn't returned. Big George comes in, "You dope, she's gone." Angelo decides she couldn't have gotten far. Big George says that would be true except for one small detail – Ava took Angelo's car.

Angelo discovers Ava has lifted his car keys, "She must have had this planned!" Big George congratulates Sherlock for figuring that one out. Angelo thinks Ava may have gone to find Patch. If Angelo were any sharper, he could almost cut through melted butter.

Sami thinks it will be lonely without Belle even though they only see each other twice a year. Marlena wonders where Belle got the boat. Belle tells her it was a gift form John. Things suddenly get uncomfortable and Sami and Shawn take the twins for juice. Belle whines, "Well, my father wanted to give me a gift and I wanted to take it."

Marlena says, "This is not your father!"

Belle gasps, "I thought the paternity tests cleared that up years ago." Marlena asks Belle to reconsider.

Oh, what do you know, Claire has showed up. She guzzles juice until the bartender has to cut her off. Shawn and Sami discuss the trip.

Marlena works on Belle not to take the boat. Belle thinks buying her a boat sounds like something the real John would do, even though he 'died' and left her penniless. Marlena puts on her psychoanalyst hat, "You think he's coming back and you will be disappointed."

"No I won't," says Belle, "I won't be here."

Patch asks the bodyguard how long Kayla has been in there. He gives Patch specific details, "A while." Patch tells him Kayla can't figure out what's going on. Hope comes out. She tells Patch about the incident with Dr. Evil. Patch senses Hope is distraught. He tells her to take a deep breath and hugs her. Ava watches. Hope also senses something is wrong with Patch. She asks what it is. Patch don' wanna talk about it. She thinks he's worried about something. Patch backpedals. Hope insists she won't let up until Patch tells her what it is.

Patch knows when he's beaten. He relents, "Someone's gunnin' for Kayla because of me."

Bo wakes. Kayla tells him he gave them a bit of a scare. He asks about Chelsea. Kayla says she's doing fine and Hope went to get something to drink.

"Knowing Chelsea might pull through would give anyone reason to drink," says Bo. Kayla promises to be there for him.

Patch says it's a long story. He gives Hope the Reader's Digest version. He tells her Ava has showed up again and wants to pick up where they left off, "She's threatened Kayla and the baby. She's crazy."

"Well," says Hope, "at least she would fit into the family."

Patch tells her he saw Ava in Ireland, "She's the reason the plane crashed." Patch, of course didn't tell the police but Abe is working with him, "If she smells cops all hell will break loose. The scent of donuts drives her crazy."

Hope realizes she and Ava have met. She tells Patch about the meeting and urges him to go to the police. Patch rejects the idea because they have nothing to pin on Ava, "We don't want to mess with these people, believe me." Patch walks off. Hope stares.

Belle knows John 2.0 isn't the man he used to be but thinks this boat is his way of saying he loves her. Marlena thinks Belle is wise beyond her years. I could have sworn she was older than five. Belle asks for Marlena's blessing.

Patch shows Hope the bodyguard, as if Hope and the rest of the world can't see him standing over there anyway. He says he can't tell Kayla, "She might lose the baby. She lost her pop because of that crazy bitch Ava." He tells her Stephanie knows, too. Patch is going to keep the guards on and keep trying to track down Ava.

Bo thinks Kayla is one tough cookie. She's going to turn into one tough Dorito if she doesn't lay off the chips and dip.

Patch goes to contact Abe to see if he's come up with anything else.

Sami and Shawn blather on about the trip. Shawn misses OMB. With Shawn at the helm, they'll probably be joining him soon.

Marlena gives Belle her blessing. She's not completely happy with them taking the boat, though. Belle can live with that. Unfortunately. Marlena vows not to give up on John. Belle thinks it's weird Claire bonded with John when no one else could. Marlena knows why, "Robo-John seeks out logic. Claire was the only one in Salem he could count on for that." She'll pray for Belle every day. Belle thinks maybe they can meet up in an exotic port someday and Marlena can bring the real John. Sami joins the bawlfest. Marlena hugs them both.

Hope comes back in. Kayla tells her Bo is doing fine. "How is Kayla," asks Hope.

Kayla is ticked that everyone is on her case about the baby, "Women have been having babies since the beginning of time! I know because I've been around since the beginning of time."

Hope thinks Kayla would be better off at home. Kayla protests and says she thinks Patch is hovering but doesn't need Hope to do that too. She thinks Hope needs some time to herself and suggests she go shopping. Hope does her best Homer Simpson impersonation, "Sshhooppppiinnggg..." She can't get out of the room fast enough.

Shawn and Belle have to go pack. Belle wishes Sami and Marlena could come, too. Sami thinks they haven't built a boat big enough for the Bradys. Hmmm... the Titanic was big enough... That would be too much to hope for. More hugs and tears.

Patch finds Kayla in Bo's room. She tells him Bo is doing well. He asks about her. She tells him she'll go rest soon, but she's glad he's there. Smooches.

Hope asks the nurse to call if there is a change with Bo. She leaves. Ava follows.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Fancy Face IV

"She sells sea shells by the sea shore." Rolf putters around while he listens through his headphones and utters inane phrases, mostly recorded on yesterday's episode of DOOL.

John walks into the room, "What are you doing?"

"Practizing diction," says Rolf, "The six sheiks sheep shield... I will never get this"

"You bring people back form the dead," says John, "Work on it."

John calls Hollingsworth to make sure his "charity" appreciated his last donation. Hollingsworth asks if there is anything he can do for John. John says no. But he just happened to hear there might be a weight and manifest discrepancy on the last Kiriakis shipment. Hollingsworth hangs up and goes over to Max. He sends him to the Kiriakis dock to load containers back onto the Kiriakis ship. Max protests. Hollingsworth offers to pull strings to cut his community service hours if he does this. He walks off and Max calls Phillip, "I thought you might like to know your company just had two shipments of cargo placed under quarantine." Phillip will be right down.

Victor comes in to see Marlena. He isn't comfortable being there, and thinks this is a big mistake.

Patch finds Kayla at work and lectures her. She says she's there to see Bo. Patch snorts, "Isn't there another doctor not carrying my baby who could do that?" Kayla wants to go look in on Bo and then promises she will go straight home after that. Doting Patch won't be welcome to come with her, though.

A man stands a few feet away. There is a flashing neon sign above his head saying, "BODYGUARD... BODYGUARD..." Kayla leaves. Patch walks over to the bodyguard who says there has been no sign of trouble.

Shawn and Belle arrive at John's mansion. John asks, "What can I do for you?"

Belle says, "We came over to say goodbye. Shawn and Claire and I are leaving."

John says... Sorry, I couldn't hear it. The audience cheering drowned it out.

Victor and Marlena talk about feelings. Marlena knows he hasn't had closure since Isabella's death. Victor tells her if Bo had died, he could have said goodbye, but wasn't there for Isabella, and "this" John doesn't remember her. And Brady is in a troubled marriage. He knows he's done things people in the town didn't approve of, but they pale in comparison to what Stefano has done, so they tolerated him. He always wanted more for Phillip.

Max comes back. The guy's a superstar. In five minutes he single handedly has reloaded an entire ship. Phillip shows up and asks Paul what's going on. Paul talks about discrepancies between the cargo and the manifest. Phillip huffs, "How much would it cost to make this problem go away?"

Hollingsworth is indignant, "Are you trying to bribe me?"

"Just trying to get to a mutually beneficial resolution," says Phillip.

Morgan shows up and hands Paul a croissant and coffee. She tells them Paul is her father.

John apologizes for being cold, "Bring me a souvenir. Send me a post card." John offers to buy them a boat.

"Like hell you will," says Shawn.

Patch tells the bodyguard not to let Kayla out of his sight. Kayla comes out and asks who the guard is. Patch dunno, "There's something I've got to tell you."

Kayla says, "Well, that sounds serious."

Patch says, "It is."

Suddenly, Patch decides it should wait. Kayla gets a call. She has to go see Lexie. Patch will wait for her. This nonstop action is leaving me breathless.

Max introduces Morgan. Phillip asks if Paul wants his daughter to know what he is up to. Hollingsworth apologizes for any inconvenience to Phillip, but claims he isn't up to anything. "This isn't over," says Phillip. The audience groans.

Hollingsworth gets a little nastier, "Walk away or I will hit you with fines and an investigation." Phillip walks. Paul tells Morgan he's in the right and asks Max if he knows how Phillip found out about the problem with his shipments. Max plays dumb. It's not a stretch.

Victor gets a call. Phillip gives him the lowdown on what's going on at the docks. He thinks John Black got to the Paul.

Shawn and Belle want to think about accepting the boat. John gives them time as he takes Claire into the kitchen for juice, "Walk this way." John walks like a crippled duck. Claire follows.

After they've gone, Shawn and Belle discuss the boat. Shawn doesn't want to take a boat from John. Belle thinks John is doing this from love, "He doesn't consciously know why he's doing this – kind of the way I do things." Belle talks Shawn into it.

John comes back, "Well, boat or no boat?"

"Boat," says Shawn. John orders champagne. "It's a little too early for alcohol, isn't it," says Shawn.

John gives his half smile, "Leaves more for us. Ha-ha-ha."

Shawn decides he will name the boat fancy Face IV, "Or is it V? Or VI? Actually I've lost count."

Belle gives John a little hug, "Thanks."

"Glad to do it, Dink."

"It's Tink."

"Truth be known, it's 'Twit,'" says John. John sends them off to buy a boat. Belle says goodbye. Hugs.

Claire chimes in, 'Goodbye, John."

John walks over and tells Claire to make sure her folks have plenty of juice for her, "I'm gonna miss you. You're the only one in town who got me." They hug. "I think there's something in my eye," says John. Shawn and Belle leave with Claire.

Victor says he has known Paul Hollingsworth for a long time, "He used to be upper crust and has fallen on hard times." Victor will deal with him. He hangs up and tells Marlena he has to go. Victor thinks John is involved in this. He will continue the session at another time.

Victor leaves. Marlena stares, "John, how could you?"

Shawn, Belle and Claire come into Bo's room. They make the big announcement; since Bo is headed out of the woods, they are headed out of town.

Hope is destroyed, "The mother part of me doesn't want you to go."

Bo sends them off with his blessing, "But what are you going to use for a boat?"

"Why does it matter," asks Shawn, "You know I won't make it out of port without sinking it."

Phillip storms into John's mansion, "I know what you are up to at the docks."

Morgan wishes Paul and her mom would at least talk to each other. Paul doesn't think that's a good idea.

Victor shows up at the dock and runs into Max. He tells him he appreciates the heads up Max gave Phillip and asks how he would like to do that on a regular basis. Max asks, "Are you asking me to spy for you?"

Belle tells Bo about John buying the boat for them. And, what a coincidence, the marina has the same kind of sloop Bo had, and it will be ready tomorrow.

Victor is just asking Max to keep his eyes and ears open. Max agrees.

Phillip unloads on John, "What you want to do is to break up our company."

John smiles, "Right. And how am I doing so far?"

Hope didn't realize they were leaving so soon. "The truth is," says Bo, "you don't want them to leave at all."

Hope smacks him in the gut, "So what." Pancreas juice squirts across the room and Bo doubles in pain. Eventually hope comes around and agrees they should go.

"I guess this is goodbye then," says Shawn.

Patch tells Kayla her doctor was there and was upset because Kayla isn't home resting, "It's not just me. Even your doc says you are endangering the baby."

Victor joins Paul and sends Morgan packing. He asks Paul's cooperation. Paul says Victor has it as long as his ships meet the guidelines, "There are discrepancies and we have to investigate."

Victor warns, "Don't let hard times make you an easy target for John Black. Whatever he's paying I'll double it." Hollingsworth says he's not for sale. If Victor tries to bribe him again he will have him thrown in prison. Paul walks off. Victor says, "John must be paying him a bloody fortune."

The doorbell interrupts Phillip's harangue. "Did you call the feds," asks John. He turns to see Marlena, "Worse. It's my conscience." Marlena accuses him of bribing customs officials down on the docks.

John asks, "Who told you that, and what exactly did they say?"

Patch and Kayla bicker. Kayla agrees to back off on her workload and asks what Patch had to tell her. Patch cops out big-time, "Just that there is nothing more important than my family, and I will do whatever it takes to protect you."

"Who's protecting me from you," asks Kayla. They head for home where Kayla can wolf down 3,000 more calories of chips and dip.

Shawn and Belle promise they will be back. A dark mood falls over the audience. Hope says goodbye to Claire. Shawn hugs Bo. Belle stands there like a bump on a log. Hope blathers and hugs Shawn, "I'm so proud of you, dropping out of the academy and all." Claire says goodbye to Bo. Belle thanks Hope for all her patience, understanding and nagging. Hope kisses Claire goodbye.

Bo offers Shawn some sailing equipment that's in his garage, "I think there's even an old anchor in there."

"A what," asks Shawn. Shawn and Belle ride into the sunset.

"Smooth sailing," says Bo. Hope bawls and falls into Bo's arms.

Victor says things didn't go well with Paul but thanks Max for his help, "If I can't have an amicable relationship with John so be it."

Marlena grills John about bribery. John says he didn't do it. Marlena isn't happy with the way John is handling things. "Stick around," says John, "Things are just getting started." Marlena huffs out.

"That was cold," says Phillip.

"What did you expect," asks John. Phillip knocks over the king on John's chessboard and leaves.

John smirks, "I knew he was gonna do that." John walks over and finds Marlena has left her gloves. He asks Rolf, "Think I was a little rough on Blondie?"

"She knew you vere lyink."

"Call Hollingsworth," says John, "and make sure he's not playing Victor and me against one another, and then send Blondie these gloves with a dozen roses."

Down at the marina, Ciara crawls onto Shawn's new boat and hides in one of the closets below.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Grandma Moses

Ethan bustles into Tony's office, "Do you have time to go over the proposal for the Sync & Suck software account?"

Tony does. Morgan comes in with her stack of papers and the action is frenzied. Anna joins them and the pace slows. Tony asks, "So, what can I do for you?"

Anna points at Ethan, "I want him." Chills of doom run down Ethan's spine.

The crew in the waiting room sleeps. Patch gets up, walks over to the waiting room TV and turns off DOOL. Roman wishes someone would tell them something.

Kate leaf's through a magazine in Chelsea's room, "How to make your man say wow." She reads a bit of the article, "I have better ways than those." She goes over to wake Chelsea as the magnificent medical magician walks in.

Chelsea wakes and scowls, "Sorry, I'm a little out of it."

Daniel says, "Good. You're getting back to normal quicker than I thought you would."

Bo vegetates. Hope and Caroline hover. Lexie and Kayla walk in and announce, "All we can do now is wait."

Ethan recovers, "Well, I'm into aggressive older women... not that you're that old, but..."

Anna is shocked, "NOT FOR THAT! I need help at my firm. I need you."

"Words that I've longed to hear from you," says Tony, "But you can't afford him." Tony asks Ethan to show Anna his paycheck. Ethan pulls it out and hands it to her.

Anna gags, "Does he pay you by the month?"

"That's my weekly check," says Ethan.

Anna decides Morgan might be more appropriate help. "This isn't the DiMera Deli," says Tony, "You can't pick and choose from my employees like a pastrami sandwich."

"I need an assistant," says Anna, "Mine is at the hospital."

"You assaulted her?"

"No," says Anna, "Bo Brady is very sick."

Dr. Almighty tends to Chelsea. She encourages Kate to go home now that she's OK. Kate leaves. Daniel helps Chelsea adjust her pillow and tells her she did surprisingly well in the operation, and has done a brave and amazing thing, "It took some guts."

Chelsea zones, "Oh... I'm a little slow... I just got that... HAHAHA. Is my dad OK?"

Dr. Jonas stares, "Of course he's OK, but we have to act like there's some suspense on this show. All we can do is wait and see."

Patch folds an origami. "That's cute," says Roman, "I've never seen an origami in the shape of a beer bottle before."

Roman picks up a copy of the same magazine Kate was reading before, "Look at this stuff... Change your style... Go from flabby to fabulous... Make a man say wow... Hey, let's have a look at that one. I can use it next time I'm over at the Brokeback Bathhouse." Suddenly, Roman gets a call and rushes out to take it.

Caroline and Lexie encourage Kayla to go home. She protests as Patch walks in. He wants to take Kayla home. He thinks Caroline should go home and get some rest too. They both reject the idea. "I can't decide which one of you is more bull headed," says Patch.

"I don't know either," says Caroline, "But you've got more bull in you than the two of us put together."

Bo stirs, "I... how... how can I get any sleep with all this arguing going on."

"He made it," squeals Caroline.

"I knew you'd make it back to me," says Hope.

"Back," asks Bo, "Without the surgery?" Hope frowns.

Chelsea apologizes for getting drunk. Daniel gives her the 'drink responsibly' lecture and tells her to rest. Stephanie comes in. Daniel asks her to make sure the donorette gets some rest. As he walks off Stephanie about has a heart attack, "He is so hot! He's like a TV star with a scalpel."

"He is a TV star with a scalpel," says Chelsea, "Well, except for the part about being a star."

Stephanie stops hyperventilating long enough to ask, "Do you think he could look at my pancreas?"

"I don't think he'd be interested in the pancre part," says Chelsea, "But he'd probably look at the rest of it."

"You saved your dad's life," says Stephanie.

"Pretty cool, huh," says Chelsea. Stephanie asks if Daniel is single. Chelsea rolls her eyes, "Shut up."

Anna fills Tony in on Bo's situation, "And so Stephanie is at the hospital with her cousin Chelsea and her Uncle Bo, not to mention her Uncle Max." She tells Tony she's never even seen her boss and really wants to get an account. Tony guesses it's Kate's account she's after. Anna shows him her portfolio.

Tony looks at the designs and says, "How nostalgic."

Ethan steps up, "Oh, it's on paper. I remember that from school." Tony tells her they are working on Kate's account, too. She asks to see his concepts. Ethan fires up the computer and shows her the whiz-bang multimedia presentation.

Lexie comes out and announces Bo is awake. She allows Shawn and Belle to go in for a while. Phillip pulls Belle aside and asks what's up.

Bo is ticked off because he didn't give his permission for the operation. Hope tells him she signed the papers and Chelsea is fine. Caroline rambles about how brave Chelsea is, "And Lexie did such a good job on her. If I were in a bar fight I'd want Lexie with me."

"Right," says Bo, "I'd rather have Lexie with me in a bar fight than to be my doctor in a hospital."

And of course, Caroline reminds them how OMB was there with them, too, "He's only been up there for a couple weeks and he's already been promoted to Lieutenant God."

Anna is amazed at Tony's mondo-boffo presentation. Tony attempts a compliment, "Your work is... interesting... just like Grandma Moses." Anna says she wanted her presentation to be simple but sophisticated. She asks Tony for help and Tony gives her both barrels as Ethan and Morgan soak it all in.

PrevuzeTony accuses her of being hard headed as Anna contemplates an abstract painting on his wall. She removes the painting and rushes Tony, "I'll show you who's hard headed!" SLAM! She smashes the painting over Tony's head.

Patch and Kayla arrive home as Patch sprinkles rose petals across the room in her path. Kayla can clean them up later. He pops a bottle of bubbly cider to toast Kayla. She insists he toast the other docs too. He will but she's the only one he wants to kiss. He gives her the remote and tells her that's the most strenuous thing she can do from now on. Then he decides he'll go out for food, and yells down at Peanut to ask him what he wants to eat. Peanut wants turkey on rye and a piece of pie. Patch rushes out the door. Kayla doubles over in pain.

Phillip says he is OK with Belle and Shawn's relationship. Belle tells him about their prospective trip around the world. Phillip says, "Wow. If you end up taking Claire, I'm never going to see her again, am I?"

Belle says, "What does it matter? No one has seen her for weeks anyway." Phillip just wanted to be a part of her life. Belle promises he will be.

Phillip looks deep into her eyes. So deep, in fact, all he can see is the void, "Belle Black Brady, all I can say is bon voyage. I'll miss you." Hugs. Belle sheds a tear.

Stephanie gives Chelsea the origami. She says Nick was waiting but had to go and will be back as soon as he can. Stephanie is proud of her. Chelsea is kind of proud of herself, too. The conversation works it's way back to Daniel. Chelsea says she felt good about herself when Daniel said she did a good job.

Kate finds the miracle worker out in the hall. She wants him to check on Chelsea regularly. She knows his main concern is Bo, but if Chelsea doesn't recover completely he will have Kate to deal with. Daniel says Chelsea will be out soon. "Good, "snaps Kate, "Make sure of it."

Tony stands there with the painting smashed over his head. He removes it and says, "I'm sure one could consider this deconstructing art." He sends the interns out and then slowly walks toward Anna.

Anna backs away, "That smile isn't very friendly."

Patch and Kayla smooch. Even though Kayla's had enough water to be her own small ocean, Patch gets up to get her more. Kayla winces in pain when he turns away.

Hope fondles Bo's hand as Dr. Miracle walks in. He tells her to get her butt out so he can examine Bo. Hope leaves. Outside, Hope says she hopes the worst is behind them.

Anna tells Tony not to lose his temper. "You're a spoiled little brat," says Tony, "And I like to spank spoiled little brats."

"I bruise easily."

Tony moves in and things heat up. He tosses her on the couch. "Admit it," says Tony, "You want me."

"I want you," gasps Anna. Tony dives in. Let's just hope Ethan doesn't bustle in again.

Chelsea wants to see Bo. Stephanie reminds her she promised Dr. Hunk she would make her rest. She'll go check on Bo for her. Chelsea just can't get over the fact that a part of her is inside Bo and might help him live. It was a miracle for both of them, and life changing too.

Anna and Tony cuddle. Tony thinks love in the afternoon could replace their three-martini lunch. Ethan knocks, "Is everything OK in there?"

Tony and Anna rush to arrange themselves. They get organized and open the door. Tony snorts, "And let that be a lesson to you!"

Anna yells, "If you think you can muscle this account away from me, you are mistaken!" Anna huffs off.

Chelsea promises to rest.

Dr. Jonas steps out into the waiting area and changes water into wine. The bigger miracle is he changes the hospital coffee into something they can drink. He gives the crowd the rundown on Bo and Chelsea.

Bo wakes with a start, "Hope?" But Bo is alone. Hope's gone. Bo figures he must have died and gone to heaven.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

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