A Conjugal Visit

 

 

Quickie Tuesday

 

 

Kate Succumbs

One more notch on Kate's bedpost and it will turn to sawdust. #DAYS

Gwen: "Jake's a dog." And with Kate he's found a bitch to hook up with.
#DAYS

Jack… Jennifer… Face-to-face. Critical mass? #DAYS

Abby: "I should have come to you privately about this." Gee, even Abby
can come up with a moment of sanity now and then. #DAYS

Jack: "I am the father of that wonderful woman." Abby has a sister? #DAYS

That was the most touching scene with Jack and Abby since she stalled
around until he made that 60-story drop in the elevator. #DAYS

Once again Kate succumbs to a tender touch… and a beard that would sand
down the roughest pine board. #DAYS

Jack: "We're the best damn family in the world." I didn't realize 2020
had been that bad for families. #DAYS

Worry, Maggie, Worry

Marlena says she has spare wedding rings in the bedroom. Heck, as many
times as Marlena
Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-Dimera-Black-Dimera/Johnson-Black
has been married she probably has more wedding rings than Tiffany. #DAYS

Phillip: "This is nothing for you to worry about." Worry, Maggie, worry.
#DAYS

Two Pit Bulls Attacking A Bunny

Xander: "Claire's nuts." Xander offers Charlie a little Claire-ity about
his new girlfriend. #DAYS

Jan says she's not carrying a torch for Shawn. She's not… it's a
bonfire. #DAYS

Jan: "We both had a man who didn't want Phillip and we lost our minds."
Yeah, haven't found them yet, either. #DAYS

Jan: "I've never figured out why people spend a gazillion dollars on a
wedding." Hmmm… maybe Jan is in fact sane after all. #DAYS

Shawn invites Phillip to the wedding. Whenever Shawn walks into a room
the collective IQ drops precipitously. #DAYS

Xander: "If you see so much as a decimal point out of place I want to
know about it." Charlie: "What if Phillip uses floating point math?"
#ForNerdsOnly #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Both Jan and Phillip show up at Shawn and
Belle's wedding and sit in the back of the room making out. #DAYS

I've finally got Charlie figured out: He's a eunuch. #DAYS

Shawn and John gang up on Charlie. It's like two Pit Bulls attacking a
bunny. #DAYS

Julie: "I've discovered co-ed baby showers are all the rage." It's true.
They're all attended by women and gay men. #DAYS

The minute they find Belle, the wedding will be annulled. Of course, Jan
didn't think of that since her brain has been replaced by the rock she
fell on. #DAYS

It would save a lot of time if Jan's wedding dress could be converted
into a straight jacket. #DAYS

Horndogs

 

 

Kate's Bedroom

Chad asks Jake: "What have you been up to." For one thing, Kate's
bedroom. #DAYS

Shin promotes Jake from cycle shop monkey to Vice president. So
realistic. #DAYS

Born A Bad Girl

Both Abe and Eli say they hate lying to Lani. Apparently not as much as
they hate her wrath. #DAYS

Tripp insists he did not rape Allie, while they continue to ignore the
elephant in the room… or, rather, the baby in the next room. #DAYS

Allie: "Tripp didn't yell or anything… I almost started to believe him."
They'll probably be engaged pretty soon. #DAYS

Eli: "I've started the ball rolling about the baby shower." Lani: "There
isn't going to be a baby shower. I've decided not to have the babies." #DAYS

All her visitors just waltz in to see Kristen. Statesville must be the
only prison in the country with an open-door policy. #DAYS

Kate: "I was born a bad girl." Yeah, the same year as Jake's mother. #DAYS

Abby: "Are you going to give me the silent treatment for falling asleep
in Jake's lap?" Chad: "No. That calls for a spanking." #DAYS

Eli: "We should work this out." Lani: "No. No more words. You put the
"lie" in Eli." #DAYS

Ground Zero For The Zombie Apocalypse

Xander and Sarah need to cool it. In Salem it's a felony for a husband
and wife to work together. #DAYS

Ava! Yet another dead person appears, proving Salem is ground zero for
the Zombie Apocalypse. #DAYS

Eli and Abe fumble around to tell Lani what they were planning and come
up with a surprise baby shower. Lani sees right through it. Guys
throwing a baby show is less likely than your dog throwing a welcoming
party for your new cat. #DAYS

REEEEE-JECTED

Kate and Jake negotiate having sex again. It's not the first time Kate
has negotiated sex. She's an old pro at it… literally. #DAYS

Charlie stands and stares at Claire and Theo sucking face. I was almost
surprised the flowers didn't wilt as he watched. #DAYS

Claire: "Maybe we should try again." Theo: "I don't think it would
work." REEEEE-JECTED. #DAYS

Claire to Theo: "I think we should try again." "I'll move to South
Africa." "You're seeing someone?" "Is it serious?" "I'll wind up an old
maid." I think the words "desperate" and "needy" might apply. #DAYS

Claire: "I don't know if this is a good time for me to start a
relationship." Five minutes ago you were whining about becoming an old
maid. #Whiplash #DAYS

Charlie ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer and unfortunately he's
the only knife in the drawer. #DAYS

Clearly, Sarah is going to be the brains in her collaboration with
Xander. #DAYS

The Last Fling

Kate could start a brothel there and call it the "Last Fling." #DAYS

 

The Salem Town Pump

Kate retains her title as the Salem Town Pump. #DAYS

 

Sex Offenses For Dummies

Xander's latest book, "Sex Offenses For Dummies," will be released in time for Christmas. #DAYS

 

The "I Slept With Kate Club"

I watched Friday's episode this morning. Two episodes of #DOOL in one
day. I feel so… dirty. #DAYS

Jack has used "It's not what you think," "let me explain," "I was
terrified for you," "It wasn't like that," "I was in a bad place." "It
isn't what it looks like." Jennifer still isn't buying it and he's
running out of cliches. #DAYS

NOTICE: This month's meeting of the "I Slept With Kate Club" has been
canceled due to the probability it would become a Covid-19 superspreader
event. #DAYS

Better use protection, Jake. Kate can't get pregnant but with her
history she could be an STD petri dish.

Jake is really pushing hard for seconds at the Kate smorgasbord. #DAYS

Jennifer: "I had to get out of there. I didn't want to talk to anyone."
Yeah, you certainly did enough talking at the party. #DAYS

The Horton Family Tree

Convoluted, dark, mysterious, moldy, hard to figure out and a bit scary. #DAYS

 

Anniversary Overload

 

 

Great-Grandmother

 

 

When You Clone Your Dog

Abby: "After everything they've been through my parents deserve a really
good night." Everything? Including raising a couple of wackos? #DAYS

Justin getting together with Adrienne's doppelganger Bonnie would be
like thinking you have the same pet when you clone your dog after it
dies. #DAYS

SUH-PRISE, SUH-PRISE!

Steve notes switching paternity tests has happened before in Salem.
Heck, in Salem what he calls "the black art of test-switching" is a
craft table exhibit at the county fair. #DAYS

Steve: "I took your DNA to prove you couldn't be that baby's father." To
quote Gomer Pyle, "SUH-PRISE, SUH-PRISE!" #DAYS

Her Boobs Weren't In Mourning

Shawn: "Mom wasn't at Ciara's funeral today." Come to think of it,
neither was Ciara. #DAYS

Vincent: "Wait! Don't shoot! There's more to the story." Translation:
They're going to drag this out until the cows come home. #DAYS

Judging by that dress Abby was in mourning at Ciara's funeral but her
boobs weren't. #DAYS

Abby: "Gwen is such a perfectionist she almost drives me crazy." Judging
by her past driving Abby crazy wouldn't be hard to do. #DAYS