A Box Of Muffins

Paulina: "I have an errand to run." Abe: "Can I drop you off somewhere?" Translation: "Where are you going?" #DAYS

Paulina: "If you hire Marlena as a therapist, her fee will be more than a box of muffins." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Paulina: "Abe is not Lani's father. I am Lani's mother. You're shocked aren't you?" Marlena: "Nothing shocks anyone in Salem anymore. It's so bad Statesville had to stop using the electric chair." #DAYS

John-and-Marlena Style

Brady to Phillip: "I have a very important project to get to… Chloe is waiting for me." Twist that knife, Brady. Twist it. #DAYS

Harrison: "This card says you are a millionaire. Put it where it's safe." Bonnie sticks it in her bra. The way Bonnie gets around it may not be safe there. #DAYS

Bonnie shoots. Now he's Harrison Floored. #DAYS

For a minute there I thought Justin and Bonnie were going to throw it down John-and-Marlena style right there on the conference table. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "When Chloe comes to her senses she'll dump you." Phillip: "What a relief. Now I know she'll never dump me." #DAYS

A Lumberjack From Key West

Bonnie: "I'm marrying a dreamboat." Justin: "I'm marrying the Titanic." #DAYS

On that last tweet I was going to say "I'm marrying the Andrea Dorea, but the young'ns wouldn't get it." #DAYS

Belle to Phillip: "You're kind of an idiot." She just threw "kind of" into that sentence to be diplomatic. #DAYS

There have been more people shot to death in the Kiriakis mansion than during a downtown Chicago gang war. #DAYS

Rafe to Ava: "Julie would be crazy not to hire you." I guess her help-wanted ad reads, "Previous restaurant and Mafioso experience required." #DAYS

The Prevuze unabashed dictionary defines a Key Logger as a lumberjack from Key West. #DAYS

Rafe says he believes Bonnie then starts badgering her. Due to #DOOL budget constraints Rafe will be playing both the roles of good cop and bad cop. #DAYS

A Pox On The DOOL Writers

Next on #DOOL — Xander: "You told your father EVERYTHING?" Gwen: "Well, I certainly didn't tell him you plowed me like an Iowa cornfield." #DAYS

Calista: "I'm already on my own private island." Sorry, Calista, any more, a million bucks doesn't buy a private island these days. #DAYS

The minister is as confused about the Justin-Bonnie nuptials as I am. #DAYS

A pox on the #DOOL writers for having Doug go all Alzheimer's on us. #DAYS

With their respective accents I feel very cosmopolitan watching Xander and Gwen. #DAYS

Now that Calista is dead I guess Bonnie "inherits" the million dollars. #DAYS

A Magic Carpet Ride of Bliss

Bonnie doesn't show up for the wedding. Justin, if you've ever received a sign from God, this is it. Take advantage of it. #DAYS

Ciara lobbies for a kid, "In reality we've been married for a long time." Oh, yeah, it's just been a magic carpet ride of bliss. #DAYS

Calista: "Let's head upstairs right now." I may be reading things wrong but I think Calista is sending Patch signals. #DAYS

Ben says he doesn't want to have a baby right now. Looks like he might be ready for a practice session, though. #DAYS

Six Boobs

Maybe seeing a little of Carrie and Austin would be something fresh to kill the boredom on this show. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "We know what it's like to work our tails off." Jake: "Don't you dare work your tail off. I like it just the way it is." #DAYS

Gwen contemplates heading back to the Xander buffet. Xander likewise. #DAYS

Seeing Bonnie and Justin together works better on me than Ipecac. #DAYS

Bonnie and Calista… I count six boobs in that bedroom. #DAYS

We Can Rule Out T

Pauline: "If anything can happen it does in Salem." Pauline hasn't been in town that long, but she obviously is a quick learner. #DAYS

EJ: "Are you telling me Allie is gay?" I think what he's saying is on the LGBTQ scale, she's maybe less L or G and more B or Q. I'm pretty sure we can rule out T. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Do you mind if I read?" Chloe: "What do you want to read?" Brady: The label on the inside of your bra." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Phillip busts in on Chloe and Brady in bed. Chloe: "What are you doing here?" Phillip: "That's exactly what I was going to ask you… except I've got a pretty good guess as to what it was." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "When you saw us embrace, I was saying goodbye to Nicole." Ava: "It looked more like you were saying hello to Misty Circle." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "I've had boyfriends for as long as I can remember." Pauline: "I know.