Abby The Homewrecker

 

SNARKnado

You've seen #Sharknado. You've seen #Sharknado2. Coming up: the Prevuze SNARKnado. #DAYS

 

Those of you at home watching in your underwear... you have a whole lot more on than JJ and Paige. #DAYS

 

Sami and Kate laugh about their conquest of EJ and Stefano reminding us of the adage 'he who laughs last laughs best.' #DAYS

 

Daniel's escape was so easy Kristin needs to hire a better class of goon. #DAYS

 

Eve says Jennifer won't listen to reason from her.  Doesn't that take some form of ability to reason? #DAYS

 

How did we know Daniel was still alive after Kristin attacked him? She clobbered him with the bucket but he didn't kick it." #DAYS

 

Statistics show the main cause of severe injury in Salem is bumping into people. #DAYS

 

So, Sami gave away EJ's (EJ Wells that is) Formula 1 car. Now, that's hitting below the belt. #DAYS

 

Ben reads Abby's tell-all resignation.  Apparently it should be titled, "Fifty Shades of EJ." #DAYS

 

Eve learns Daniel is Maggie's son and zeros right in on Mags' checkered past. #DAYS

Artificial Intelligence

Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, see Sami and Abby in a rockin' cat-fight. #DAYS

 

Sami says Abby is just a notch on EJ's bedpost.  More like a smear on his shower stall wall. #DAYS

 

Kristin says she has AI software, meaning Artificial Intelligence — the only kind of intelligence in Salem. #DAYS

 

Fashion statement: Kristin says she just wants to see Brady in the flesh. Her skirt is so short we're seeing her in the flesh. #DAYS

Disregard For Children

Kristin answers the phone, hears Brady's voice and is speechless. First time for everything. #DAYS

 

They're adding a children's wing at Salem Hospital. You mean the good people of Salem actually have that much disregard for children? #DAYS

 

Do people in Salem ever walk across the square without bumping into someone? #DAYS

 

Why is Kayla so upset about firing Abby? Anyone in town would give her a job.  I understand town patron saint is available. #DAYS

That Medieval Hall Of Horrors

Sami wants Anne to bring her up to speed on the hospital.  The speed of that medieval hall of horrors is zero. #DAYS

 

When Daniel woke up I'll bet he had a big headache.  Then he looked up, saw Kristin and realized he had an even bigger one. #DAYS

 

EJ tells Sonny he made one stupid mistake. One he got caught at, that is. #DAYS

 

Eve says she has a rare blood type.  Whatever it is, I'm sure it has ice water in it. #DAYS

A Ringing Endorsement

Jennifer wants JJ to break the male code and tell her how he feels. Just talking to Jennifer breaks the male code. #DAYS

 

Eric gives John a blessing.  Tell me again, who is the patron saint of fireplace poker injuries? #DAYS

 

Jenn says her family is better off than ever? JJ sentenced to community service, Jenn dumped by Daniel and Abby the new Salem slut? #DAYS

 

Daniel's going to St. Louis, Kate went to Poplar Bluff. Are these product placement ads by the Missouri Department of Tourism? #DAYS

 

Brady says he & Nicole are still friends, "I'm in no position to be picky." Now there's a ringing endorsement for Nicole's friendship.#DAYS

Eve's Theme Song

Paige asks which blouse Eve likes.  She chooses the one where the buttons are tiny little padlocks. #DAYS

 

#DOOL factoid: John is only 23 years old... if you don't count the time he hasn't spent in comas. #DAYS

 

Victor on the show always brightens my day a little. He doesn't brighten Theresa's, though. #DAYS

 

If you just just can't get enough of it, The hour-long album of Eve's theme song, "Uhhh Ahhh," is available on Amazon.com #DAYS

A Cupcake Baking Whore

Ciara wonders why Hope's in a hurry to go on vacation. Because she's in a hurry to do something else... or someone else. #DAYS

 

Sami softens then freaks out again. Her emotions are a bigger roller coaster than the Millennium Force at Cedar Point. #DAYS

 

Rafe thinks Kate's revenge might make Stefano do to her what he tried to do to Rafe.  Rafe needs to think that one through. #DAYS

 

Sami calls Abby a cupcake baking whore. Caroline called her a Twinkie. You'd think EJ had sex with Little Debbie. #DAYS

 

EJ, be careful how hard you beg for Samantha to come back to you. She might actually do it. #DAYS