Puck

Minister to the gathered crowd: "You are clothed in Christ." Except for Leo who seems to be clothed as Puck in Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Roman: "Did you catch the Royals-Rangers game yesterday?" John: "No. I didn't want to pay Bally Sports $99.99 per month to watch the Rangers clobber a minor-league baseball team." #DAYS

Eric: "You need to tell your mom the drugs are yours. Why wouldn't you do it, not just for Tate but for yourself?" Holly: "Because myself doesn't want to be grounded for six months." #DAYS

Sloan's Miniskirt

Leo's suit actually cracked my TV screen. Sloan's miniskirt cracked my husband's contact lenses. #DAYS

I don't know who's being the most immature brat – John or Holly. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — John: "Something about this church calms me down." Marlena: "Because it's a spiritual place of quiet meditation?" John: "No, because I alwys have a couple drinks before I come here." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Theresa: "You're a better person than I am." Brady: "Thanks, but I'm afraid that's a pretty low bar." #DAYS

Leo panics and says he has something to say that can't wait. He won't tell about Jude, but it can't wait because he's in a church and might burst into flame any second. #DAYS

Their Sweet Little Darling Kids

Eric: "How was I supposed to say no to Nicole?" The word "no" comes to mind. #DAYS

Nicole is like a lot of other parents. They can't believe their sweet little darling kids could be doing drugs. They usually change their minds at the funeral. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole to Eric: "I guess you're surprised to see me here in church." God: "Eric may not be, but I sure am." #DAYS

The M-Word

Now that everything is behind them, Tripp and Wendy have to come to grips with the fact that the M-word came up during their ordeal. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "You dated the mother of my son, now you're dating the mother of my daughter." Alex: "What are you saying?" Brady: "I'm saying you seem awfully interested in my hand-me-downs." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kristin: "Why are you so concerned with me and Alex. You're shacking up with Brady." Theresa: "I am not shacking up with Brady." Kristin:  "Only because he doesn't live in a shack." #DAYS

A Shallow, Flaky Womanizer

Next on #DOOL — Kristin: "Didn't your mother teach you not to keep a girl waiting?" Alex: "Girls… yes; Cougars… no." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — John: "You need to let me do what I need to do." Patch: "Second door on the left. Be sure to wash your hands." #DAYS

Theresa to Alex: "Wow. We've barely broken up and you're in the arms of someone else. What's up with that?" He's a guy. #DAYS

John: "No parent should ever have to bury their child." So that's why Marlena never buried DJ. #DAYS

Brady: "You would never consider Alex to be a step-father to Rachel." Kristin: "Why wouldn't I? He's got tremendous potential." Translation: He's got money. #DAYS

Konstantine lets go of his need for revenge and hatred. What a stand-up guy. At least that's what I thought before his nose grew out two feet and his pants caught fire. #DAYS

Brady: "Alex is a shallow, flaky womanizer." Looks like he's perfect for Kristin. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kristin (on phone): "Brady said you're a shallow, flaky womanizer." Alex: "Compliments will get him nowhere." #DAYS

A Fast One

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "I love my husband so much…" Sloan: "Almost as much as you love Eric?" #DAYS

EJ refuses to play Stefan a game of chess for Stefan's shares. After being dumb enough not to check if Stefan was recording their conversation at least he shows he's got some intelligence with that move. #DAYS

Stefan pulls a fast one on EJ with that recording then baits him into going "all in" with a game of chess. Win or lose Stefan can pull that recording out any time he wants to as a threat. EJ's backed into a corner with the recording, but goes over the cliff by agreeing to play chess. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Nicole: "I'm not a very religious person…" God: "Tell me something I don't know." #DAYS

Contingency Plan

Leo says his article will contain a soupçon of panache. Apparently he's going to write it in French. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Stefan: "Did you ever have any deep regrets that chewed at your soul?" Chad: "No but I once had a dog that chewed my slippers." #DAYS

Johnny: "There's a warm place in hell for whomever helped Clyde escape from prison." I believe Steve and John's reservations were already confirmed long ago. #DAYS

Johnny: "With my family it might not be a bad idea to have a contingency plan." With your family it might not be a bad idea to have life insurance. #DAYS

Harris to Jada: "You of all people ought to know about breaking the rules." You mean the rule about not letting your boss pull a Harvey Weinstein on you? #DAYS

Chanel to Leo: "When you put your sense of humor on the back burner you're almost a sweet guy… and almost like you're straight." #DAYS

Unscrupulous Scoundrel

Ava sucker-punches Stefan. Who does she think she is… Lucas? #DAYS

Looks like Ava has some 'splainin to do. #DAYS

Theresa says exercising clears her head. She must exercise a lot. #DAYS

Holly to EJ: "Why did you have to have Tate arrested?" Because keeping him confined in the DiMera tunnels is illegal? #DAYS

Constantine wonders what his daughter Catarina might have become. Perhaps an unscrupulous scoundrel like her father? #DAYS

Constantine tells Theresa if they can pull off their scam they will be set for life… until he screws her out of her part of it. #DAYS

I Hate To See You Leave But I Love To Watch You Go

Sloan storms out on Eric. She's wearing one of those "I hate to see you leave but I love to watch you go" dresses. #DAYS

EJ to Stefan: "Starting over builds character." Starting over in North Korea is probably a bit more character than Stefan wants to build. #DAYS

Ava to Harris: "You can't go running around like some kind of action hero." Looks like Harris is about to get action of another kind. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric: "I want you to be Jude's Godfather." Brady: "No way." Eric: "Sorry but that was an offer you can't refuse." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Steve: "We had to save Tripp and Wendy and it went bad because I put my trust in Ava." Marlena: "Tripp wouldn't even have been here if you didn't put something else in Ava." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Harris and Ava romp. Ava: "This isn't exactly what the doctor meant when he said you should have bed rest." Harris: "This is exactly what the doctor ordered… I finally got the right doctor." #DAYS

A Contumacious Little Brat

Holly is being a contumacious little brat. That was your "word of the day." #DAYS

EJ: "When you break the law there are consequences." He's broken the law enough to know. #DAYS

Nicole: "Are you hungry? Can I bring you something?" Holly: "Bring me a grilled cheese sandwich." Bring a paddle, too. That might help the little snot straighten up. #DAYS

Eau de Strumpet

Next on #DOOL — Tripp: "Just tell them they were your drugs. Why can't you tell the truth?" Holly: "Because I'm a teenage girl." #DAYS

Brady says he has a medical question for Sarah, "It's about comas." They don't call them comas any more. They call it the Jan Spears Syndrome. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Can a coma affect a person's memory?" Sarah: "Coming out of a coma a person's memories can come back quickly, gradually, or not at all." Brady: "Yeah, I read that online." Sarah: "Then why did you waste my time by asking me."

Rafe: "WENDY'S GOT A PULSE!" Then she's qualified to write for #DOOL. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "How did you know it was me when I came in the room?" Tripp: "Because of the perfume you wear – Eau de Strumpet." #DAYS

Ava… Steve… Tripp… Such a lovely family. Ava raping Steve sure turned out great, didn't it? #DAYS

Non-Artificial-Dumbassedness

If Wendy and Tripp get out of this, I may send my henchmen to do away with them. #DAYS

The Tripp-Wendy scenes and the Abe-Paulina-Lexie scenes were not written by Artificial Intelligence. They were written by Non-Artificial-Dumbassedness. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "Tate… Tate… Wherefore art thou?" Tate: "What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Holly is the sun." #DAYS 

Artificial Intelligence Isn't That Dumb

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "You're saying Holly came out of her coma? Why wouldn't you tell me that?" Nicole: "I just did, bonehead." #DAYS

Everett-Bobby-Stein-Lynch a.k.a. Nick Fallon visits Marlena to try to find out who the heck he really is. #DAYS

Praying for the oxygen in Wendy and Tripp's room to run out very quickly. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Lani: "Is there any way Chanel or I could help you?" Paulina: "Either one of you want to donate a heart?" #DAYS

I wish they would have come up with another way to kill Wendy and Tripp. A quick bullet to the brain and they could have avoided so much misery… for the viewers. #DAYS

In case you're wondering, Artificial Intelligence did not write the script for Wendy and Tripp today. Artificial Intelligence isn't that dumb. #DAYS

Tripp and Wendy declare themselves to be husband and wife. As long as they're trapped in there and have some time they might want to start working on their joint tax return. #DAYS

Spy vs. Spy

I don't know about you but Tripp and Wendy's fantasy jaunt through Europe is beginning to wear a bit thin with me. #DAYS

Kate and Roman look like the Mad Magazine male-female version of Spy vs. Spy. #DAYS

Lucas says he is willing to become a monk but draws the line at celibacy. I wonder if he's noticed his little hovel is as void of women as a 1950s college dorm room. #DAYS

Stefano's painting is smaller than it used to be. I guess the memory of him is fading. #DAYS

Julie wants to restore the Horton house to its original condition. Including the leaky plumbing, faulty wiring, and temperamental furnace. #DAYS

If they can bring Lucas books why can't they at least smuggle in a little radio? #DAYS

Wendy and Tripp are sealed in. In typical #DOOL fashion, the woman panics. #DAYS

The Salem Litterbug

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "Do you have any leads?" Rafe: "Yes. We are closing in on the Salem litterbug." Ava: "I meant any leads on who shot Harris." Rafe: "What do you think we are, a real police department?" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Paulina: "Do you have any news about a donor?" Marlena: "Yes. After you croak we have a woman downstate who needs your kidneys." #DAYS

Julie to Everett: "I thought you were the arsonist coming back to finish the job." Look around the room, Julie. It looks to me like the job is pretty well finished." #DAYS

Jam Spears' Record

Stefan keeps scrubs and a lab coat in his closet for occasions just like this. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Holly: "How long have I been in a coma?" Nicole: "You fell just short of Jan Spears' record." #DAYS

Nicole tells Holly she has to start eating by introducing her to certain food groups. Instead of the chicken broth group Holly wants the Buddy's Burger Barn loaded burger group. I don't blame her. #DAYS

Tate didn't put Brady on his list of authorized visitors. Don't be too distraught, Brady, you're on his other list… his sh*t list. #DAYS