Thursday, December 31, 2020

Tricking On Everybody

Chad is just about as lucid when he's drunk as he is when he's sober…
which = not lucid. #DAYS

Chad: "What if my wife is tricking on everybody?" I think he has Abby
confused with Kate. #DAYS

I wonder what Chad and Gwen will name their kid. #DAYS

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Jennifer says she's already mailed Will's Christmas gifts to Arizona. If
her experience is anything like mine, they may get there in time for
Easter. #DAYS

Phillip: "I don't want to be a third wheel." Heck, he can't even be a
second leg. #DAYS

Will and Sonny's scene was one of the most exciting I've seen in
azzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." #DAYS

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Her Pants Aren't That Fancy

Phillip flirts with Chloe. Xander plots with Sarah. Jack Broods. Abby
cajoles Jennifer. Chad is jealous. Jake confronts Gwen. There – now you
don't have to watch the rest of the episode. #DAYS

Did you notice Sarah had to flip the thumb drive before it went into the
computer? The guy who invented those irritating things should be horse
whipped. If you think that was cruel and insensitive, you should hear
what I really had in mind for him. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "When Miss Fancy Pants gets tired of slumming with
a grease monkey like you, I want my bracelet back." Jake: "Her pants
aren't that fancy. I've seen them – laying on the floor, as a matter of
fact." #DAYS

Both Phillip and Brady are sniffing around Chloe. Metaphorically
speaking, when I go on vacation, I like to go somewhere I've never been.
#DAYS

Monday, December 28, 2020

Is Everything OK?

Marlena to Lucas: "Is everything OK?" With Lucas, when is everything OK?
Come to think of it, when is everything ever OK with anyone in Salem? #DAYS

Lucas: "Don't treat me like an ogre who was going to kill the kid for no
reason." So I guess it's OK as long as he had a reason to kill him. #DAYS

Ava tips the wastebasket over. Claire: "What was that." If Charlie is a
quick thinker he'll tell her it was his cat. Of course then Claire
immediately will want to meet the cat. #DAYS

Claire: "Is there something else going on with you?" Besides a rape and
a kidnapping? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Patch: "John and I are partners." Tripp: "I didn't even
know you were gay." #DAYS`

Friday, December 25, 2020

DOOL Rule # 273

For heaven's sake Lani, if one of the babies is a boy and you have him
on Christmas, don't wrap him in swaddling and lay him in a manger. #DAYS

Roman suffers from foot-in-mouth disease. #DAYS

To paraphrase Kayla's reading; Unto you is born this day, in the city of
Salem, twins, who, in five years will be SORASED into angst-ridden
problem teens giving Lani and Eli a boatload of problems. #DAYS

#DOOL Rule # 273: If you are kidnapped in Salem, you will never have to
use the bathroom wile being detained. #DAYS

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

To Malice

Julie says she knows Eli and Lani are having problems. Lani: "You don't
know the half of it." If I know Julie she'll pry it all out of her. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Lani walks in, sees Eli, and attacks Julie for
setting her up. This show hasn't had a good cat-fight in a long time. #DAYS

Tom and Alice's bulbs together on the tree actually spell out "To
Malice," symbolic of where their relationship has led all these years
later. #DAYS

Nicole: "Don't forget, I was born Nicole Mendez." Huh? I thought she was
born Misty Circle. #DAYS

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Those Long-Johns

Those long-johns are too small for Allie, but they might fit Henry. #DAYS

I have an item of clothing just as short as Allie's skirt. Only I call
it a belt. #DAYS

Belle promises to be faithful to Shawn. Didn't she promise that the last
time they got married? #DAYS

Charlie: "I feel like I'm coming down with something." Would that be
guilt? Or maybe fear of being discovered? #DAYS

Monday, December 21, 2020

All It's Naughty Residents

It's Christmas Eve. At this very moment Santa Santa is leaving for Salem
with a load of coal and sticks to leave for all its naughty residents. #DAYS

Bonnie + Justin is ridiculous, so, just think – by next Christmas we'll
have found out it was really Bonnie who died in that car accident and
Adrienne and Justin will be reunited. #DAYS

Kristen: "You are the best daddy ever." Brady: "You are the best mommy
ever." Mommies and Daddies ain't what they used to be." #DAYS

Thursday, December 17, 2020

Ava's Ass

 

 

Hard Core Evidence

Charlie insists he made just one mistake. Then he bashes Ava with a
vase. Now we're up to two mistakes on his growing list of assault
crimes. #DAYS

Julie asks Jennifer: "You think Kate is some sort of Delilah? What an
insult to poor Delilah. #DAYS

Gwen: "Why would you think Abigail is having an affair with Jake?" Chad:
"Uh… she said a bunch of stuff…" Now there's some hard core evidence for
you. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jake bursts into song: "Silent night, holy night, all is
calm, all is bright, round yon virgin, mother and child…" Kate: "Round
yon what? What the hell is a virgin?" #DAYS

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

I Didn't Rape Her. I Raped Her

Claire: "Charlie is absolutely perfect." Perfection gets watered down
when it enters Salem. #DAYS

Phillip says he tries not to slack off. He doesn't have to try too hard.
With him it comes naturally. #DAYS

Brady and Chloe… we've been down that road before. #DAYS

Patch to Tripp: "I think we'll be able to prove your innocence." He's
been reading the spoilers. #DAYS

How about if Charlie takes a DNA test and we see between him and Tripp
who is the most likely father? #DAYS

Victor: "Everything you and Xander do is a competition." Gee, Vic, I
wonder who set that up by making them co-CEOs? #DAYS

Charlie: "I didn't rape her. I didn't rape her. I didn't rape her. I
didn't rape her. I raped her." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Allie: "You got a man who listens. You really did
score." Claire: "And I think that's exactly what Charlie wants to do,
too." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tripp: "I'm half-you and half-Ava." Steve: "That makes
you a half-wit." #DAYS

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

The Gordian Knot of Salem Interbreeding

Charlie is Tripp's brother AND the rapist. The Gordian Knot of Salem
interbreeding never disappoints. #DAYS

Nicole breaks the news to Rafe that Eric was so in love with her that he
took a powder. #DAYS

Monday, December 14, 2020

Good Night Nurse!

What the hell happened to Jan Spears? Is she dead… in limbo… or, God
forbid, another coma? #DAYS

Claire to Charlie: "When you're dealing with a Kiriakis, nothing is
simple." Except for the guy who is simple enough to get caught in the
middle. #DAYS

Charlie: "Goodnight, girlfriend." Claire: "Goodnight, boyfriend."
Good-night nurse (whatever that means). #DAYS

Friday, December 11, 2020

Phone Sex Services

Joey asks Patch and Kayla: "Did somebody die?" No, in fact they came
because somebody didn't die." #DAYS

Ava to Tripp: "You're here, living with me, and it's so much more than I
ever expected." Jeez, Ava, he's only been there five minutes. #DAYS

Tripp tells Ava he tried to kill Kayla. What would appall most moms
makes Ava swell with pride. #DAYS

PLEASE NOTE: Due to the increasing severity of the COVID epidemic, the
Salem House of Ill Repute is providing only phone sex services until
further notice. #DAYS

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Till Coma Do Us Part

Tripp: "Kayla is a decent person." So decent he only tried to kill her
once. #DAYS

Kayla: "Ava is more interested in herself than she is Joey." Well,
DUHHHHH… #DAYS

Bonnie: "After all, Jack did the deed with Kate while you were in a
coma." Jennifer: "It's 'till death do us part,' not 'till coma do us
part.'" #DAYS

Wednesday, December 09, 2020

Your Husband's Ex-Dead Ex-Lover

Nothing like having your husband's ex-dead ex-lover stop by. #DAYS

Protip: Do not hire either Gwen or Jennifer to care for your Christmas
poinsettias. #DAYS

Gwen: "It's none of my business…" A statement always followed by the
word "but," and Gwen doesn't fail to confirm that theory. #DAYS

Tuesday, December 08, 2020

Unusual... Perhaps Illegal

Jack is too busy to stop working on the paper but not too busy to get
soused at lunch. #DAYS

Give Jake and Kate credit. At least they locked the door while they
romped. Unusual… perhaps illegal… in Salem.

Chad: "I know you slept here and I know you weren't alone." Two options
for Jake: 1) Tell him it's none of his business. 2) Tell him you sleep
with your teddy bear. #DAYS

Monday, December 07, 2020

Non-Violent Things

Nicole: "Violence is never the answer." I guess Nicole thinks it's
better to do non-violent things like infecting Chloe with flesh-eating
bacteria. #DAYS

Patch to Ava: "I wish you were still dead." Something you only hear on
#DAYS

Sunday, December 06, 2020

The Mysterious Obelisk

 

 

Friday, December 04, 2020

A Fish Out Of Water

Tripp's a millennial. If he can't live with his parents he'll be like a
fish out of water. #DAYS

Patch says when it comes to his kids he's serious about their welfare.
Yeah, beside Tripp there is the one he refers to
"What's-his-name-in-jail" and "What's-her-name-I-haven't-seen-in-years."
#DAYS

Thursday, December 03, 2020

No Winners

Claire: "Ben and I will never happen." Translation: It's only a matter
of time. #DAYS

Steve: "There are no winners on this, Lucas… you, me, Allie, Tripp, the
viewers…" #DAYS

Understandably, Allie is against rape. I think we're learning she does
not share that sentiment for murder. #DAYS

Tuesday, December 01, 2020

Ciara's Clothes

Abe offers Shawn the Commissioner job. Because it's apparently
hereditary… like the English Crown. Also inbred… like the English Crown.
#DAYS

Claire and Charlie share the opening stages of a budding romance,
leaving us with only one question: how will it fall apart? #DAYS

Claire: "It would feel strange wearing Ciara's clothes." Ben: "I know.
Trust me." What have you been wearing, Ben? #DAYS

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