Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Scary Crazy

Dr. Daniel apologizes to Chelsea for taking himself off her case. This has fantasy written all over it. Either that or Dr. Dan is still plastered.

Chelsea asks, "So does this mean you're still gonna be my doctor?"

Daniel says, "I wanna be more than just your doctor."

Chelsea asks, "Like what... my father? You're old enough."

"Truth is," says Doctor D, "I think I'm falling in love with you."

Yep. Hope snaps her out of it.

Bo stops Daniel in the hallway. Daniel tells him Chelsea has been discharged, "There's no sign of infection. She's clear. I wish my mind were, but a hangover this big will take some time to go away. Bo blames himself for Chelsea's predicament.

Nick sits in the pub and works on his numbers. Max brings him a coffee refill and asks about his work. Nick tells him about it, "Now I have to figure out how to make this thing work. That's the hardest part."

Abe and Lexie come in. They figure they've been patronizing the pub so much they should have their own booth. "Or at least," says Abe, "I should have a sandwich named after me – The Abe Carver."

"What would that be," asks Lexie.

"It should be obvious," says Abe, "corned beef and a whole lot of baloney." They discuss the fact that last night didn't go exactly as they planned. Abe was restless. Lexie didn't sleep either. Lexie has to grab a quick meal and get to the hospital. She's worried about Bo. Abe says he'll make sure Bo doesn't push things at work, "Why start now? " He reminds Lexie they have made a pact – their relationship will be a priority.

"Maybe that was a mistake," says Lexie.

Patch, Kayla and Stephanie are all asleep on the living room couch. They seem to have been watching a movie and dozed off. A half filled bowl of popcorn sits in front of them. Apparently walking in on Patch and Ava doing the horizontal hula was standard fare for Kayla, and she's going to let bygones be bygones. Suddenly everyone snaps awake. Stephanie explains she came back and saw them crashed out and joined them. We have big hugs. Everyone missed everyone during the recent ordeal. Patch and Kayla promise Stephanie they will keep safe and out of trouble from now on. Translation: Danger – trouble ahead.

"The first part," says Patch, "keeping safe – is easy. Staying out of trouble is the hard part."

"Apparently not," says Stephanie, "Mom seems pretty indifferent to your little peccadillo."

Ava wiggles and yanks at her restraints. She calls for Patch. A cop stands there. Ava rages, "What are you looking at? GET OUT OF HERE! Or you will be sorry like the rest of them." She screams for help, "DADDY!"

A nurse comes in and injects magic potion into her IV, "This stuff will calm you down. Once this kicks in, you could even watch DOOL without hurling."

Ava continues screaming as the nurse leaves. Chelsea hears the screams and wonders what's going on. Hope is obtuse as she brushes off the situation. Hope wants to know what was on Chelsea's mind when she came up to her. Chelsea is also obtuse. They're an obtwosome.

Bo walks up with Daniel and tells Chelsea she's been released. Daniel excuses himself. Chelsea pouts. Hope goes over and thanks Daniel. Daniel tells her Bo is blaming himself. Hope asks him to give Chelsea her final instructions before leaving the hospital. "I can't," says Daniel, "Chelsea isn't my patient any more."

Max watches Nick cipher. He suggests Nick take a break. Nick suggests Max get back to work. Max sits and tells him his stuff looks complicated. Nick wants to concentrate. Max picks up Nick's calculator and plays with it.

Abe and Lexie discuss their self-induced dilemma. They both work and that has never happened to any couple ever before. Abe thinks the hospital can take care of itself for one hour while the Chief of Staph has breakfast. Lexie agrees.

Patch and Kayla aren't sure what they are up to today. "First of all," says Patch, "I'd better take a shower." Nobody disagrees with that. Patch saunters into the next room. The flies follow. Stephanie lectures Kayla for nearly dying. Kayla says she wants to talk about Stephanie. "What a coincidence," says Stephanie, "Talking about ME is what I want to do, too. I've never been happier in my life."

Kayla asks, "And why is that."

Stephanie says, "Because I'm in love."

Kayla asks, "With which family member?"

Ava is delirious, "Take care of them, Daddy! Kill 'em all!"

Kayla is sooooo happy. She thinks Max is a great guy. Stephanie asks, "Is this the way you felt about Dad?"

"No," says Kayla, "It's more like the thing I had for uncle Cedric. The thing with your dad was more complicated." Stephanie hopes they lock Ava up and throw away the key. Kayla wants to talk about Max.

Stephanie tells Kayla, "Max was incredible through the whole ordeal – Understanding, loving, patient..."

Back in the shower, Patch sings the "I Got Away With The Big One Blues."

Max fiddles with the calculator. "Look, Nick! I plugged in some of your calculations and came up with a totally different answer."

Lexie is distracted. She thinks things between her and Abe are forced. Abe reminds her, "Marriages take work. Between your affairs, that is."

"I wonder if counseling would help," asks Lexie.

"I think a chastity belt would help more," says Abe. But he says he will do whatever it takes. He has to go and decides to ride to the hospital with Lexie so he can ask Ava a few questions.

Bo tells Chelsea they have her room ready for her. She tells him her life isn't over. The audience moans. Bo says her doctor said the same thing, but he isn't her doctor any more. Chelsea just wants to go home. And for the first time in a long time she'll feel like she really is at home.

Daniel shrugs off the fact that Chelsea isn't his patient any more. Hope presses. "Believe what you want, Mrs. Brady," says Daniel, "I'm outta here." Daniel walks off. Hope stares.

Patch comes up. He says he's there to see Ava. He walks in and finds her sleeping. The cop in the room tells him they sedated her. Patch sits by her bed, "I'm sorry Ava... I did this to you."

Nick works the numbers and finds the calculations are all wrong. He thinks he would have caught the mistake later, though.

Lexie bounces up and wheels Chelsea off to the pharmacy.

Kayla tells a tech she wants Ava's meds analyzed.

Stephanie comes into Ava's room. Staredown.

Max is making Nick nervous. Nick gets a call. Daniel tells him Chelsea is being released and going to Bo and Hope's house. Nick hangs up, "I gotta go."

"Second door on the right," says Max.

Lexie brings Chelsea back. We have a giggly goodbye as Daniel comes up. He says he's there to say goodbye. Chelsea says, "Thanks for being my doctor – at least for a while."

"Just because I'm not your doctor doesn't mean we can't be friends," says Daniel, "and just because I don't own a cradle doesn't mean I can't rob one." They roll.

Daniel walks away and says to himself, "I can't let it happen. Not again." Lexie watches as he walks off.

Stephanie gives Ava a piece of her mind. Of necessity, it's a small piece. "You terrorized my family. Trying to force someone to be with you when they don't want to. I know all about that. You don't deserve sympathy."

Ava slurs, "Well you must be Patch's daughter. You remind me of him." Kayla comes in and tells Stephanie to calm down. Abe walks in as Kayla drags Stephanie out.

Abe wants to have a chat with Ava. He sends the guard outside, walks over to Ava's bed and asks, "Are you strong enough to answer questions?"

"Actually I'm strong enough not to," says Ava.

Back at Bo and Hope's house, Chelsea crashes on the couch. Hope tells Bo, I want you in the kitchen. The walk in, Bo sees the pile of dirty dishes and gets to work.

Nick arrives with flowers. He tells Chelsea Dr. Jonas told him she got sprung. Chelsea is so thrilled he's there she's actually able to suppress her urge to vomit.

Stephanie calls Max and asks him to meet her at her parent's place.

Lexie asks Daniel if he's OK. He claims he is and has decided to take the rest of the day off. In fact he's going to take the rest of his life off. His work is done there.

Abe questions Ava about the plane crash. Ava deflects the question. She says Daddy will take care of everything. Abe says justice will prevail and he doesn't give a damn who her daddy is.

Stephanie tells Max she confronted Ava, "I kind of lost it on her."

Max hesitates, "That's..."

"Stupid," asks Stephanie.

"For a normal person, yes," says Max, "But I'm proud of you for having the guts to do it."

Stephanie says, "I thought seeing Ava would make me feel better, but that woman was scary crazy." Max reassures her. He promises things will be OK.

Nick has also brought magazines and Chelsea's favorite cookies from the pub – chowdah cookies. He says he loves her more than ever. "I so do not deserve you," says Chelsea.

Nick consults the Guy Manual under "Things they say right before they dump you: 1) I so do not deserve you."

Nick stumbles for words, "You... don't think the... you not being able to have kids matters?"

Chelsea sits him down and rambles as Bo and Hope come in. She gets up and tells Bo it wasn't his fault and she would do it again. Bo hugs her.

Abe wants Ava to admit to the kidnapping and shooting Hope, "We're taking it easy because of your... mental state."

"You mean because I'm crazy," says Ava, "Daddy will get me justice."

"Justice is exactly what you will get," says Abe. He leaves. Patch gives her a stare and follows. Ava bawls.

Outside, Patch tells Abe death and destruction follow Daddy. "No one will get away with that in Salem," vows Abe, "Not while I'm around."

"You're out of town a lot, aren't you," asks Patch.

The orderly rushes up to Kayla with the results of the analysis on Ava's drugs.

Chelsea and Nick snooze on the couch. Bo and Hope come in and watch. Out in the back yard, Ciara splashes around in her kiddie pool and plays with the electric outlet next to it.

Daniel calls and books a flight to Sydney Australia.

Max thinks Ava is going to jail for a long time. Stephanie hopes he's right. He wishes he could have seen Stephanie let her have it. "I wonder how you got to be so smart," says Stephanie, "There's a lot more to you than meet she eye. I saw it when we were up in your room."

Patch says Abe doesn't want Martino Vitali for an enemy. Abe isn't letting Ava walk free. Kayla comes up. Lexie joins them. Kayla dangles a baggie, "Those pills that Ava was taking. You're not gonna believe what they are."

"Offhand," says Lexie, "I'm guessing they're not Altoids."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Lava Lamp

Abe is on the phone with the DA, "We don't have enough evidence to charge John Black. Paul Hollingsworth goes in front of the grand jury soon. We'll see how that goes. The case against him isn't exactly airtight. It was, but then the SPD got hold of it and blew it to smithereens."

Lexie walks in as Abe finishes up. She came on an impulse. She says she had a bad time at work today and wonders if Abe has a few minutes for her.

Bo comes in and gives Chelsea a stuffed doggie. He asks how she's doing. She says she's decided to live in the moment. Bo says he called Billie and they think it might help if Marlena talked to her. Chelsea shrugs it off, "I'm already screwed up enough." She wants to deal with it on her own. Hope comes in carrying some strange kid.

Daniel is boozing it up at the pub. Kate joins him, "Shouldn't you be monitoring Chelsea?"

Daniel says, "I don't think there will be a problem with Chelsea, considering I'm no longer on her case. Lexie's in charge now. If you rush over there, you might get to see her one last time."

Tony is walking through the pub talking on his cell phone. Anna stands up, bumps into him and Tony goes head over heels, "Some klutz just bumped into me."

Anna huffs, "That's rude even for you."

Stephanie comes in and puts her hands over Max' eyes, "Guess Who..."

Max thinks... "Beyoncé!"

"You wish," says Stephanie. She tells him her folks are exhausted, "They went straight to bed when they got home. Well, technically, mom went to bed and Dad hit the couch." She's there to thank him for saving her life, "You really are my hero. You do know that, right?"

Max says, "And you're much hotter than Beyoncé, anyway."

"And you're much blinder than Mr. Magoo," says Stephanie. Smoochies.

That's what Max calls gratitude, "If you keep thanking me you'll have to thank me all night." He goes to find out where Pete is so he can get some time off.

Tony backpedals. He says he should look where he is going. Anna is surprised there is no condensation on his part. "My mind is elsewhere," says Tony.

"What else is new," asks Anna." Tony sits down with her and says he's concerned about Kate. Anna scowls.

Kate wants to know why Daniel took himself off Chelsea's case. He says he can't talk about it, "But I can tell you Chelsea will need all the support she can get."

Lexie tells Abe about Chelsea. Her heart goes out to her. Lexie thanks God for Abe and Theo. Abe wants her to go to dinner with him, "We need more us time and I think we should start right now." Smooch.

The nurse comes into Chelsea's room. Time for more tests. If she aces them she might get to go home today.

The blood drains from Chelsea's face, "Where's Daniel?"

Tony is worried about Kate because she's upset about Chelsea. Anna asks, "Is there something going on between you and Kate?"

Max is back, "Pete has arrived. Now you can start thanking me for saving your life."

Daniel says he can't tell Kate anything, "Ethically my hands are tied."

"Sounds exciting," says Kate, "How would you like to have the rest of you tied? You're just as concerned as I am, aren't you?"

Tony wishes Anna would give him more credit, "I love you and only you. Don't you know that?" Silence. "A yes or no would suffice."


"And do you love me?"

"Do you have to ask?" Translation: Keep your options open.

Kate says she is sorry she was hard on Daniel, "But when it comes to my family, I'm a little nuts."

"You must have a very big family," says Daniel. Kate thanks him for everything he did for Chelsea and leaves.

Daniel contemplates his booze, "It just wasn't enough."

The nurse tells Chelsea Daniel isn't on call. Chelsea thinks it's weird he left without saying goodbye.

Max ushers Stephanie into his messed up room. He straightens things up and says he wasn't ready for an impromptu rendezvous, "But I have a lava lamp."

"I don't think we need it," says Stephanie. Hot kisses. "Wherever you are is the most romantic place on earth." They dive in for more.

Tony and Anna smooch and giggle. Tony hopes that kiss helps her understand his feelings. Kate is nothing to him. He's in love with Anna.

Daniel pounds them down and remembers his conversation with Lexie. He turns to the bartender, "I'll have another. Just keep 'em coming."

Bo paces. He sits down and ponders, then gets back up and remembers his conversation with Hope.

Chelsea picks up her phone. She calls Daniel and asks why he didn't say goodbye.

Max and Stephanie get serious. They also get undressed. We get an anatomy lesson with uber-close-ups of body parts.

We pan across the floor strewn with clothes and roll on up to Max and Stephanie in bed. Max debriefs. He says he's never felt more connected to anyone. Stephanie feels the same way. Max says, "Now that we love each other, the only thing standing in front of us is our future."

"And some really bad dialogue," says Stephanie. Round two.

Daniel says he just got caught up in things. He tells Chelsea he's no longer her doctor, "I handed the case over to Dr. Carver."

Chelsea gasps, "But I don't want to die."

"I'm a surgeon," says Daniel.

Chelsea asks, "Then how come Lexie was the one who operated on me?" Chelsea thanks him for everything he did for her and her dad. We have an uncomfortable goodbye. Chelsea hangs up and makes another call.

A phone rings in the den of sin. Stephanie calls things to a halt. She just has to pick up because it might be her mom or dad. Or a wrong number. She looks at the caller ID, "Hey Chelse, what's up."

"I need to talk," says Chelsea, "What's up over there?"


Abe and Lexie have come to the pub. Lexie thinks her new job is a lot of work. Abe apologizes for his crazy hours. Lexie doesn't want their family to suffer because they both work long hours. They decide they have to make time for themselves.

Kate has joined Anna and Tony. She's going to be in the commercial. Tony tells Anna he wants Kate to become the next Martha Stewart. Anna laughs, "No offense, but you're not very homey. But I would like to see them put you in prison for a while."

Kate thinks it's a great concept. Anna says she has a new high profile account herself. Tony would love to hear about it.

Chelsea tells Stephanie Daniel dumped her. She cries and thinks she probably scared him away, "Or maybe he thinks I am damaged goods now that I can't have kids."

Stephanie takes the bull by the horns, "I'll march downstairs and tell him off."

Chelsea puts two and two together, "You're at the pub and Daniel is downstairs. That means you are upstairs. Am I interrupting anything?"


The long lost Nick walks into Chelsea's room.

Bo wanders and rubs his pancreas. Hope comes up holding that strange kid. She tells him what happened to Chelsea isn't his fault. Bo decides to blame himself anyway.

Anna hesitates. Kate decides to give them a moment alone. Anna tells Tony she's working for John Black.

Kate joins Lexie. She asks about Chelsea. Lexie says she has been though a lot. Kate thinks there is more to the story. Lexie tells her Daniel is off the case. Kate says she already knows that. Lexie breaks every ethical rule in the book, "Between you and me, Daniel felt he was becoming too emotionally involved."

Max and Stephanie come downstairs. Stephanie stomps up to Daniel, "You and I need to have a little talk. She tells him Chelsea's feelings are hurt. She says Chelsea is vulnerable right now and needs to be around people she trusts. Max pulls her away and tells her to think about what she is doing. Stephanie goes back to lecture Daniel.

"With friends like you," says Daniel, "she won't need me."

"That's where you are wrong," says Stephanie. Max pulls her away again.

Anna says the account with John is top secret. She thinks she has told him too much already. Tony wants to stop the competition between them. "I'm not saying yes or no," says Anna, "but we can discuss it over dinner." Scratch that – Kate comes up and tells Tony it's time to go to their meeting.

Anna huffs and says to Kate, "At least you're used to working nights."

Tony excuses himself, "I'm sorry I can't take you to dinner, but this is business."

Anna gets on the phone, "Yes, I know what time it is."

Chelsea tells Nick she's getting out today or tomorrow, and then she tells him she can't have kids. "I'm so sorry," says Nick, "Are you OK?"

"I don't think it's quite hit me yet," says Chelsea. She asks how that makes him feel. He tells her to forget about him. This is about her. She means everything to him. Hugs.

Bo obsesses. Hope comes up and we have a family hug.

Nick kisses Chelsea. Hugs. Stares.

Daniel slams down another.

Abe and Lexie kiss outside the pub.

Stephanie sits on Max' bed and huffs. Max moves in. Stephanie forgets about Chelsea. Round three.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Boxers Or Briefs?

Sami and EJ are together in the pub. Sami calls and leaves a message for Marlena. She rants, "Maybe the whole thing is a lie. Why would Nicole say anything like that?" EJ tries to calm her down and go back to studying for the INS exam. Sami is surprised to know EJ knows her favorite perfume.

"I pay attention," says EJ, "Here's one a wife should know – Boxers or briefs?"

"How should I know that," snorts Sami.

EJ says, "When we were trapped in the steam room I had to take my clothes off."

"I was nine months pregnant and my life was in danger," screams Sami, "I didn't notice."

EJ calls her bluff, "Saaammmiii."

"Boxers. Blue. With a monogram."

Marlena walks in with John. Sami drops the Brady bomb. Victor follows, "What's all the excitement?"

"Brady's been found," says Marlena.

"Tell him something he doesn't know," says Sami.

Phillip tells Abe Chloe is on her way to Zurich, "She didn't even throw a fit when she found out first class was sold out, but she went bonkers when she found out instead of an in-flight movie, they were showing DOOL reruns."

"Well," says Abe, "Victor's secret is out and Chloe is on her way to reunite with her husband... for better or for worse."

Phillip says, "For Chloe, it's probably better. For Brady, it's definitely worse."

Phillip gets a call. Abe excuses himself and talks to Roman about the Vitali case. Roman asks Phillip what he is doing there. Phillip says, "My father framed Chloe for Brady's disappearance. I want to make sure she can't press charges."

The drama continues in Chelsea's room. In a room down the hall, the staff parties like it's 1999, knowing Chelsea is out of the gene pool. Bo wants to take her home. Lexie objects, "If you're that delirious, we might have to readmit you."

Bo rages, "THIS ISN'T FAIR."

Dr. Miracle walks into the room, "$#!+&(*^%@& happens, Bo. Knock it off. This isn't helping you or anyone else."

Bo asks, "$#!+&(*^%@&... Is that surfer talk?"

Sami and Marlena gang up on Victor for stuffing Brady in a rehab clinic. Sami thinks this was all about revenge. Marlena asks Victor about that. Victor says, "Chloe introduced Brady to the lowlifes that got him hooked. She deserved to suffer."

"What about us," asks Marlena, "Do we deserve to suffer?"

Someone from the audience screams, "What about us..."

Marlena decides they will bring Brady home and take care of him there.

John walks over to Victor and says, "You shouldn't have kept this from me. You played God with my son. That's another mistake, Mr. Kiriakis. "By the way... Did Brady... by chance... have any drugs left over I could take off your hands?"

Abe tells Phillip they've been in touch with Brady, and he refuses to testify against his grandfather. The cops have nothing to charge Victor with.

Bo gets macho, "You're close to crossing the line, doc." Daniel tells Bo to cool it. Bo thinks Daniel is trying to cover his own butt. Daniel reminds him Chelsea wanted to do this, "She wasn't going to stand by and let you die."

Bo snorts, "How did this happen."

"We may never really know," says Daniel, "But if you're implying I did something wrong, you're free to get a lawyer."

Bo's meltdown wakes Chelsea. "I trust him," she says, "You should too. Next to you, he's the kindest, most caring person I know."

"You need to get out and meet more people," says Hope.

John and Victor stand face to face they slowly approach each other in silence. Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darlin' wails in the background. Phillip comes in and interrupts the standoff. He takes Victor aside and tells him he wanted to make sure Chloe couldn't press charges. Victor wants to know since when it's against the law to protect his own grandson. Phillip insists Chloe didn't get Brady hooked on drugs. Victor says Brady didn't want anyone to know about his situation and he was just respecting his wishes. Victor says he didn't tell Phillip because this way he was the only one responsible. He reminds him about the number of times he has come through for Phillip, "Bo and Chelsea, My love for family knows no bounds."

"Maybe that's your problem," says Phillip, "Boundaries don't exist for you."

John gets a call, "I'll be there." He hangs up and announces, "My presence at the Salem PD has been requested. It seems your ex and Honest Abe would like to question me about something."

"I'll go with you," says Marlena, "This sounds juicy."

Phillip takes Victor aside and tells him about John's call. They wonder if it's about Hollingsworth and the bribes. Phillip doesn't know, but decides to go to the police station and find out. Victor says he will go, too. "I'd rather handle this alone," says Phillip.

Roman watches as Paul tells Morgan she doesn't need to be there for this. Morgan isn't going anywhere until this mistake gets cleared up. Roman steps in, "Morgan, you can wait outside."

"Oh," she snorts, "So you can take the rubber hose to my daddy and make him confess for something he didn't do?"

Abe steps in, "Actually we haven't used the rubber hose and bright lights for some time. Waterboarding is the new thing." He asks Paul if he wants his attorney present.

"My attorney charges $500 an hour and I haven't done anything criminal," says Paul.

Abe gasps, "$500 AN HOUR? You may not have done anything criminal, but he has." He tells Paul they have enough on him to put him away for a long time, "You may wind up in a cell with Lucas."

That does it. Paul folds like the Boston Red Sox in the 1986 World Series. Abe says they can make a deal, "We agree to drop the pending charges..."

Roman takes over, "IF you finger John black for the graft."

Bo and Hope want to spend some time alone with Chelsea. As they leave, Chelsea asks, "Dr. Jonas... You're coming back, right? I thought we could start making a few wedding plans." Daniel tells her to get some rest.

Outside, Daniel blames himself. Lexie suggests he consult other doctors. Daniel thinks he has lost his objectivity, "She deserves better than me."

"But you're supposed to be the best doctor in town," says Lexie.

"I know," says Daniel, "She's up $#!+&(*^%@& creek."

Lexie asks, "$#!+&(*^%@&... Is that a surfer term?"

EJ wants Sami to get with the program. He takes her hand, "How about if I tell you how much I love you?" Sami breaks down in hysterical laughter. "Oh, very funny," says EJ.

John joins the group at the cop shop. He tells Roman and Abe he thinks Paul is a professional and very good at his job. If he delayed the Kiriakis shipments there must have been some kind of problem with them.

Abe asks, "Did you offer Mr. Hollingsworth a cash incentive to delay your rival's cargo."

"That would be bribery," drones John. Abe picks his dictionary up and looks under the B's.

Phillip walks in and announces he's there to see about the interests of Kiriakis Shipping. John says "No, you're here because you're the one who dropped the dime on Paul."

Phillip asks, "Are you admitting Paul is your patsy?"

"John asks, "Patsy... is that someone else I'm supposed to know?"

Bo asks, "Hey kid... is there anything you'd like me to get... your books... your laptop... your MP3 player... a pinch of ecstasy? " A nurse comes in and hauls Bo out. This allows Hope and Chelsea to share a tender moment. Hope barely mentions the fact that Chelsea murdered her son. Chelsea wants to say something about their relationship.

Lexie reminds Daniel he just scolded Bo for blaming himself and now Daniel is doing the same thing. Daniel reminds Lexie to shut up, "I have lost objectivity. I need to keep my distance."

Lexie asks Daniel, "Are you saying that you are becoming emotionally involved with Chelsea?"

Daniel admits it, "I've always been fascinated by reptiles."

Roman breaks up John and Phillip and tells them to let Abe and him handle it. John says he and Paul are honest and just trying to make a living. Paul steps up, "John, they offered me a deal if I flipped on you." John wants to see the hard evidence if the cops have it. Silence. "I didn't think so," says Paul. He leaves while Morgan stays behind and lectures Phillip for going after her father. She stomps out. Phillip follows.

Marlena suggests they go, but John zones in on Roman's nameplate and has a semi-memory. He says, "If you want to continue wasting taxpayer's money, that's on you, but just out of curiosity, ROMAN BRADY, don't you have some real criminals to be chasing instead of me?" John walks out. Marlena follows.

Lexie wonders if this means Daniel will be excusing himself from Chelsea's case. Daniel says yes. Lexie is shocked, "As Chief of Staph, I'll have to look into this. We've never had a doctor act in an ethical manner before." Daniel doesn't want Lexie to tell Chelsea the good news yet.

Chelsea says, "When I was sleeping just now, I had a dream about Zack. I dream about him a lot but this time it was different. I was driving a steam roller. We were playing hide and seek. He always hid under the bed, but this time when I found him I got a shooting pain in my heart. Like it just happened. I took away your child."

Hope insists that's not the case, "God had a plan for him. He used Zack to save Claire, just like they used a piece of your pancreas to save your dad."

Chelsea says when she learned she couldn't have kids the first person she thought of was Zack, "It feels like some kind of justice."

"NO," screams Hope, "You will never talk like that again, do you hear me? Not ever." Bo stands at the door and watches.

EJ says, "OK, you're right. Let's stop twisting ourselves into pretzel-like shapes and just start acting hostile toward one another, like any normal married couple."

Marlena and John stand outside the pub. Marlena wants to know what happened to John in the police station, "You zoned out. Something in that room triggered a memory for you. I know why. There was a time when you worked there."

John remains cynical, "Thanks for another stroll down memory lane, Blondie." He goes inside. Marlena follows like a lost puppy. Inside, she tells Sami she thinks John is beginning to remember something.

Morgan slams Phillip for trying to implicate her father. Phillip insists her father is guilty.

Hope says, "What has happened to you is not punishment for Zack's death." Chelsea thinks maybe she wants to be punished, so not being able to have kids feels right. Hope won't have it. She says this isn't punishment. We dive into the death spiral of icky dialog as Bo watches.

Marlena talks to Brady on the phone and starts to hand him off to John. John motions her away. Marlena insists. John takes the phone, "Yes... That's right. It's your fa... ther."

Phillip says he loves his father just like Morgan does, but he can see some of the unethical things his father is done and Morgan can't, "If your father can't tell right from wrong, then he is nothing but a spineless jerk."

Lexie comes in, announces the test results are back and tells Bo he has a clean bill of health, "Your bill of health might be clean but wait until you see your bill from the hospital."

Lexie takes Hope off to check her shoulder. Hope didn't need that shoulder anyway.

Chelsea asks, "You want to talk, Dad."

"Not to you."

John tells Brady he can't wait to see him. He hangs up, hands the phone back to Marlena and says, "It appears he is getting the treatment he needs, but speaking to him was like talking to a total stranger."

Marlena tells Sami even if that didn't trigger a memory for John, what happened at the police station gave her a lot of hope.

Morgan lectures Phillip and then walks off.

Daniel hands Lexie Chelsea's file. Lexie asks, "Are you at least going to say goodbye to her?" Daniel walks to the door, waits for an eternity and then walks off. Lexie follows. Hope comes back, opens the door and contemplates the touching father-daughter moment.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

A Small Incident

Weary from their long voyage, Shawn and crew moor their boat at the southern tip of the Eastern European Duchy of Hassledork. Due to Belle unfortunately mistaking the supply box with the trash container and throwing it overboard, they are out of both food and money. Owing to that, Shawn takes a temporary job moving the Duchy's trains into the roundhouse after their daily runs. It takes him a while to get the hang of things, however, and his first day on the job results in a small incident.

Friday, April 25, 2008

The Morals Of A Groundhog

Sami and EJ amble down the stairs. Sami thinks the kids were impossible tonight. EJ points out it was Allie that was crying and kept perfect little Johnny awake. The fuse is lit and the inane bickering begins over which of the two children is less mature. They also argue over whether Allie or Johnny is less mature.

EJ doesn't get where this is coming from. He says he loves Allie just as much as Johnny. Poor Allie. "We have to fall in love," says EJ, "and just have tonight to do it."

Chloe wants proof that Nicole knows where Brady is.

Evil Tom tells Stephanie to be a good girl or he will have to mess up his shiny new knife with her blood. He takes her out of the pub. Max comes out and wonders where Stephanie went.

Daniel is back with Chelsea in her room. Nurse Monica hooks up her tubes. Chelsea doesn't get it. They've done the same tests over and over again. Daniel says, "I'm sorry Chelsea I just had to make sure."

Chelsea asks, "Sure of what?"

The cops haul Ava in. Ava says, "Do you have any idea what's going to go down when my daddy finds out about this? You know what can happen to someone when Daddy's angry? He sends you back to Miss Hannigan's orphanage, that's what."

Abe gets off the phone, "That was the head of the detail I had watching Stephanie. He says she vanished without a trace."

"Yep," says Roman, "That sounds like it was your detail all right."

EJ says they have to prove the relationship is real, "They'll be asking some very personal questions like if you snore, if you are a republican or a democrat, do you have any phobias." Sami's phobia is all things DiMera. EJ asks, "You helped before this situation with Nicole came up so would you just help me now?"

Nicole tells Chloe she got the information from Victor's PC. He wrote checks to a rehab clinic in Switzerland. Nicole hired a PI and got more info. She shows Chloe a photo of Brady, "But Brady was always such a goodie-two-shoes. I can't figure out why he was in a drug rehab center."

"It's just a wild guess," says Chloe, "but maybe it was to kick a drug habit." She tells Nicole Brady turned into a flaming junkie and he was ashamed of that and wanted to keep it quiet.

Victor walks up and overhears, "Brady got hooked because of you."

The group badgers Ava for information on Stephanie. Kayla cares so much about the unborn baby she who is hanging onto life by a thread that she and Steve head out on another wild goose chase. Abe tells Bo and Hope Chelsea is back in the hospital. Bony and Clod head for the hospital.

Bo and Hope rush into Chelsea's room. She says she's better now that they are there. She asks what happened to Hope's shoulder. Hope says it's an old injury. Daniel says, "Chelsea has developed an infection."

"She is an infection," says Bo.

Chelsea says she would do this all over again if she could. Bo leans over her and gives her the pep talk, "I want you to fight this. But whatever happens... SAY IT WITH HIM... I'm here for you."

"We'll fight it," says Chelsea, "With Dr. Hunk's help."

Ava tells Roman and Abe they are finished, "Daddy will sue." Abe wants to talk to Daddy. Ava wants to talk to her lawyer, " NOW!"

Roman and Abe tell her they'll leave while she makes her call, "Don't do anything stupid. We'll handle that."

Ava snorts, "I take my coffee black, two sugars." They leave and Ava makes her call, "Call Daddy and tell him I need help."

Chloe asks, "Is it true, Victor? Are you the one who took Brady from me?"

"Don't play the victim," says Victor, "I want to know what really happened to Brady."

"He seemed unhappy," says Chloe.

"He was married to you," says Victor, "What did you expect?"

Chloe says since he was unhappy she introduced him to her friends who just happened to be a bunch of artistic junkies. It broke her heart when he got hooked and she tried to help him. Victor says, "Cut the act. Your recklessness nearly cost my grandson his life."

Patch and Kayla come into the pub. Pete tells them Stephanie left and left her cell phone upstairs. Patch calls Abe and asks for an APB.

Evil Tom drags Stephanie into a seedy warehouse. Max follows and confronts him. Evil Tom threatens to kill Stephanie if Max comes closer. Tempting as it is, Max doesn't take his offer. He says if Evil Tom wanted to kill her he would have already done it. He says the cops are on the way, "Put the knife down and give her to me."

Max and Evil Tom stare at each other. Stephanie ends the fun by kicking Evil Tom and running off to Max. Max and Stephanie hug. Sirens blare. Red lights flash. Evil Tom has left the building.

Frenetic Sami tells EJ to start asking the questions. He tells her to relax. They go through favorite foods, good and bad habits. She softens as she talks about a good habit he has – The way he puts the twins to bed.

Victor and Chloe argue over who caused Brady to turn to drugs. Victor sort of has the upper hand since he wasn't anywhere near Brady when he got hooked. Chloe insists she loved Brady. As they continue to squabble, Nicole says, "God this is fun."

Phillip wants to know why Victor didn't tell him where Brady was. Victor says he didn't tell him because he didn't want him to have to keep the secret. Translation: He didn't want Phillip to blab it all over town.

Bo rants. He knew this operation was a bad idea. Daniel says Chelsea will definitely survive this. As the audience groans, Daniel says, "But there is also some bad news."

The cops haul Evil Tom back into the warehouse and tell Stephanie and Max they will need them at the station to make a statement. Steve and Kayla have somehow stumbled on the crummy warehouse. They rush in and we have a big reunion. Max asks Patch, "Does this have something to do with the crazy woman in your life?"

"No," says Patch, "It doesn't have anything to do with Kayla." He tells them Ava is in custody and the Vitalis should be in jail soon.

Stephanie and Kayla sit over by a wall and Stephanie feels the baby kick. Kayla stops kicking as Patch thanks Max for taking care of Stephanie.

More dumb questions from EJ and Sami. "You're a good mother but a terrible cook," says EJ.

Sami comes back with, "You have the morals of a groundhog the way you will take on any client." Sami apologizes for insulting all groundhogs.

"But we're over that, right," asks EJ.

"Oh, believe me," says Sami, "I'm over it." EJ thinks this is illustrating they know each other pretty well. That's not a big deal in Sami's book. EJ thinks she's a cynic. Sami thinks no one will believe they have fallen in love. Sami claims she wants it to work and thinks the session with the INS agent will be a piece of cake.

Daniel says Chelsea has peritonitis, "The infection has done extensive and irreversible damage."

"Since when does peritonitis affect the brain," asks Bo.

Roman and Abe come back in with Ava. They offer her a chance to make a statement. "Shove it," says Ava. Roman says if she doesn't want to make the statement they will just book her.

Ava says to bring her Patch and she will start talking. She thinks it would have been better if they all had died – Except Patch. She needs him. He is the love of her life. Abe tells her to calm down. Ava says she is in hell. She waited for him to come back and when he did, everything just blew up in her face again. Ava's rage crescendos and she goes into convulsions. She hits the floor and flops around alike a fish on the dock.

Victor orders Chloe out of his sight. Chloe doesn't want him to play God with her husband. Phillip takes Chloe out.

Nicole taunts Victor, "I told you I had something on you."

"You can get out of my sight, too," snorts Vic.

Patch, Kayla and Stephanie return to the pub. Stephanie wants to know what happened at the Vitali compound. "You don't want to know," says Kayla, as she remembers her little discovery. Patch just wants to focus on the fact they are all back together. Kayla goes for tea. Max wants a shot of Irish whiskey and a beer.

Patch goes over and asks Victor what's going on. He tells him Bo and Hope are at the hospital. Victor assumes this had to do with the Vitalis. Patch says he is grateful to Bo for doing what he did. Victor rushes out.

Daniel wants to speak to Chelsea alone. Chelsea says they are family so Bo and Hope can stay.


Bo and Hope head for the hallway to see what the screaming is all about and find the EMT's wheeling Ava in. She rocks and rolls as Roman tells Bo Ava had a seizure.

Suddenly, Ava sees Hope, "You... this is all your fault."

Sami doesn't want this to fail, but she also says she doesn't want to live anywhere near EJ. EJ gets disgusted and tells her she is incapable of hiding her true feelings. He wants to call the session off, "Goodnight Samantha."

Sami insists she can do anything she sets her mind to, "I want to try again."

"Try what again," says Nicole, "Having problems EJ? How can I help?"

Dr. Roman orders Ava to her room.

Victor finds Bo and Hope, "What were you two thinking?"

"Thinking," says Bo, "I knew we forgot to execute part of the plan."

Victor says, "The next time you go up against the mob, let me help." Right now, however, they are concerned about Chelsea. The three of them go into her room. Victor asks what's up. Daniel stares.

Patch, Kayla and Stephanie salute Max. Modest Max thinks he didn't do much compared to what Patch and Kayla did. Kayla just wants to put this behind them. Patch gives them the cheery reminder that Ava's father is still around.

Sami tells Nicole they are in the middle of something. Nicole wants to consult with her lawyer. She tells EJ Victor has kicked her out, so she spilled his big juicy secret. That gets Sami's attention, but Nicole won't tell what the secret was. Suddenly Sami warms up to Nicole. Nicole decides she will spill the beans for a martini. Sami agrees and Nicole says Brady is alive in Switzerland recovering from a drug addiction.

Chloe and Phillip rush into Abe's office. Chloe wants Abe to help her get her passport back and she also wants to press charges against Victor.

Patch thinks everyone should be cautious. He says they will all be fine. The number one job is to take care of Kayla and the newest member of the Johnson family.

Downstairs, little Peanut decides with this family taking care of him, he'd better start writing his will.

Daniel drops the bomb, "Chelsea's fallopian tubes were affected. I'm sorry, but you'll never be able to have children."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Jealousy Becomes You

Marlena comes in as John prepares a candlelight dinner. She's very impressed, "Well, who are we dining with tonight?" John breaks the bad news, he and Nicole are having the sumptuous repast he has prepared while Marlena gets a burger and fries as the neighborhood fast food joint, "Supersize it. You deserve it."

Victor arrives to see Chelsea. She's out for testing so he waits. Nicole stomps in, "What part of 'we are still married' do you not understand?" You are not kicking me out!"

"I just did," says Victor.

Evil Tom watches Max and Stephanie.

Chloe meets Phillip outside the pub and tells him Victor kicked her out of the mansion.

Max comes up for air and tells Stephanie he wishes they could do this all night. Pete the bartender we've never seen before and will never see again arrives and Max asks if he can cover for him. Pete agrees.

Abe and Roman arrive at the pub in a rush. Abe tells him, "Bo, Hope, Kayla and Steve have all been kidnapped. I think their lives are in danger.

"Let's not jump to conclusions here," says Roman.

The goons haul Bo, Hope and Kayla down the hallway. Kayla demands to see her husband. Bo works to loosen the ropes tying his hands.

Patch and Ava romp. Suddenly, the door flies open and Patch is confronted with the Big Kahuna of all uncomfortable situations. Kayla stands there soaking it in, "Steve!"

Patch gasps, "Kayla!"

Kayla yells, "What the hell is going on in here?"

Kayla can't take it. She whirls to leave, but it's locked so she starts pounding the door.

Patch, on the other hand, stops pounding Ava and flies out of bed. He jumps into his pants and accuses Ava of planning the whole thing. She admits it, but now that she knows Steve is good to go for a hot horizontal hula session, she orders Kayla out.

Chloe fills Phillip in on what Victor did. Phillip can't believe it. He agrees to talk to Victor, "By tonight you will be back in the house."

Victor says if Nicole tries to come back into the house, he'll have her arrested. He also tells her he kicked Chloe out too, "I've thrown out all the trash."

Nicole says, "You should still be nice to me Victor."

Victor asks, "Why is that?"

Nicole says, "Because you don't want me to tell everyone your dirty little secret, now do you?"

Evil Tom peers into the pub as Max makes a suggestion, "We could go up to my room." Silence. "Or not."

"Your room is fine," says Stephanie.

Max asks, "Are you sure?"

Abe and Roman discuss the quadruple kidnapping. Roman wonders how Patch got mixed up with Martino Vitali's kid. He thinks their time is about to run out.

Ava wishes Patch would get back in bed. Patch wishes he were in Timbuktu. He is upset Ava brought Kayla into this, "Kayla lost the love of her life once. They cancelled her favorite soap opera. But she got over the pain and you will too."

Bo works out of his ropes, stuffs his pancreas back into his gut, attacks both guards and knocks them out.

Victor thinks Nicole has become the drama queen since she has been gone. She reminds him she knows his little secret. He asks what it is. She refuses, "If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, would it? "

He accuses her of bluffing, "Do what you have to do."

"I will," she says. Nicole leaves. Victor seethes.

Marlena reminds John they are still married, "Married people don't date."

"It looks to me like married people dating is the national pastime in Salem."

"This is inappropriate," says Marlena.

John thinks in time she will appreciate him, "Jealousy becomes you."

Marlena insists she isn't jealous. She's upset and plays right into his hand by saying she thinks he should act like her husband. John takes the ball and runs with it, "You should act like my wife. Wives sleep with their husbands. I wouldn't have invited Nicole if I had something to do."

Marlena asks him not to do this. The doorbell rings. "Too late," says John, "But if it will make you feel better I was toying with you. This dinner is strictly business." Marlena says if that's the case she'd like to join John and Nicole. "Your burger and fries are waiting," says John.

John peels off Nicole's coat to uncover her leopard skin outfit, "If the leopard wore it that tight," says John, "that's probably what killed it."

Nervous Max turns on the music. He says he wants tonight to be special. She insists it already is, "What could be more special than getting nailed in a one-room hovel above a seedy bar? " He sits her on the bed and dims the lights. He tells her they don't have to do this. Stephanie thinks it feels right, "I want you. I want us to be together."

"Are you sure," asks Max. If Max consulted the Guy Manual about this situation, he would find two words of advice, "Shut up."

Patch and Kayla think they hear a fight in the hall.

Outside, Bo unties Hope. Inside, Ava pulls a gun from the drawer, points it at Patch and tells him he's not leaving.

"Shoot him," says Kayla, "Save me the trouble." Patch tells Ava to put the gun down.

"No," says Ava, "If anyone walks through that door, they die." Outside, Bony and Clod stand with their guns poised ready to break into the room.

Nicole cozies up to John, I'm glad Marlena didn't join us."

John asks, "May I be frank."

Nicole says, "You really do have identity issues, don't you?"

"My relationship with Marlena isn't what I was hoping to discuss," says John, "I want to discuss you and me and how good we could be together."

Marlena eavesdrops. She turns and bumps into Rolf. She tells him she wants him to reverse the memory loss. He says that's impossible. She knows he can do it – or she will figure out how to do it herself.

Nicole turns it on, "I've been known to fall in lust at the slightest encouragement. John suggests flying to Napa for wine and then to Paris for a vacation. Nicole thinks that would be great. She wonders if time off would interfere with John's business, "I know you and Victor are at war."

"It took you long enough," says John, "You came here to spy."

Max and Stephanie romp.

Bo and Hope bust into Patch and Ava's den of sin. Patch smacks Ava and grabs the gun.

Bo asks, "Are you guys OK."

"We're OK," says Patch.

"Not for long," says Kayla.

John turns on Nicole like a leopard that wants his skin back, "I lost my memory not my senses. You didn't think this tasteless dress and come-ons would be enough to make me reveal my affairs, did you? Who are you working for, Victor or little Phillip?"

Roman and Abe meet up with Bo's snitch, shady Earl Lawson. Earl plays it tough. He says he agreed to meet with Roman, but didn't know Abe was a part of the deal. Abe says they need information now. Roman tells Earl he's getting on his nerves. They want to know where the Vitali compound is. Earl grabs a phone book out of the booth next to them, looks under 'V' and points to the address. Roman pays him and then brushes him off. Abe makes a call for backup.

Patch says they can't leave yet. Stephanie could be in danger. Bo gives him Angelo's phone. Patch makes the call. Back in the love nest, Stephanie's cell vibrates as she and Max continue their romp.

Nicole accuses John of being paranoid. She says she shouldn't have come and stands up. Marlena walks in, "Leaving so soon, Nicole?"

"Sorry for your loss, Marlena," says Nicole, "John is nothing like the old John." Marlena and Nicole bicker and Nicole finally leaves. John tells Blondie she was impressive. He thinks his talent for rubbing people the wrong way has rubbed off on her. She thinks he was impressive too.

Patch tells the crowd he can't reach Stephanie. He goes over to Ava and says they are going to take a little walk. Kayla grabs Ava's pills on the way out.

Outside we hear a garbled voice say, "Angelo, come in." Angelo stirs. Bo reaches down, points his gun and says, "Give me the walkie." Angelo hands it to him along with the talkie. Bo shoves Angelo into the room.

Out on the compound grounds, Abe and Roman wander and assess the situation.

Max and Stephanie continue their excellent adventure. Suddenly, Max pulls away. He knows she's worried about her parents, "But I love you and I want this to be right. I don't want to be selfish. Please don't make this more difficult than it is, or I might just lose my manners. For the first time in my life I know exactly what I want and it's you. I want us, and that's worth waiting for."

Stephanie is less than thrilled, "Would it be forward to say I don't know how much longer I can wait."

Chloe and Nicole meet at the pub. They commiserate about being thrown out of the mansion. They seem shocked they actually had a civil conversation. Nicole thinks Chloe has a backbone now. Chloe starts to leave but Nicole stops her, "There is something you need to know."

The fearsome foursome plus Ava meet up with Roman and Abe. Abe arrests Ava. Patch looks at her and reassures her as Abe reads her rights.

Abe hauls Ava off. Bo and Hope leave to get Hope an ambulance. Roman tells Patch a squad is on its way to find Stephanie. Patch caresses Kayla's cheek.

Angelo grabs a cell phone and makes a call, "It's me. It's a go."

John and Marlena sip wine and talk about how impressed they are with each other. "Admit it," says John, "You were jealous."

"You are my husband," says Marlena, "I won't share you." John thinks Marlena is beginning to accept him. She doesn't want him to read too much into it. John tells her, "Tonight Phillip made a pathetic attempt to infiltrate my organization. He and Victor are disappointing adversaries. I just wanted them to roll over but they fought back and now I'm going to put an end to this."

A woman in the audience yells, "Do it soon!"

Phillip finds Victor in Chelsea's room. Phillip says he knows Victor kicked Chloe and Nicole out. He says Chloe doesn't have anywhere else to go. He's going to tell Chloe she can stay. Victor lets that pass and says he won't have Nicole in the house. He wants to know why Phillip is supporting Chloe and Nicole against the family.

Max and Stephanie come back downstairs. They smooch as Evil Tom watches.

Nicole tells Chloe, "Victor knows where Brady is. He always has."

Max goes back to work as Evil Tom watches. As soon as Max is gone, Evil Tom scoots over to Stephanie and sticks a knife into her ribs, "Make a sound and you're dead." Stephanie whimpers.


Chapter 27
Advanced Topics

1. The mother of all bad breaks – your wife discovers you having sex with another woman.

See The Eunuch's Manual.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Superman, Captain Marvel And Gandhi

John tells Paul it's an excellent time to make his move. Paul thinks that's a little cold. John thinks their butts are on the line. He offers Paul a Cuban. Paul prefers a Puerto Rican.

Marlena walks in and wants to know what they're up to. John says they're just a couple of guys talking things over. Marlena asks Paul if John wanted him to delay the Kiriakis ships. Paul plays dumb. It's not a stretch. Marlena tells them she knows what they both did, but doesn't know what they are up to now. The doorbell rings and Phillip walks in, "Well, well well... why am I not surprised to find you here, Paul?"

Kate worries about Chelsea. Nurse Jenny comes in and Daniel gets on her for not telling him Chelsea's temp had gone up.

Jenny apologizes, "I forgot... they don't cover taking temperatures in med school."

Tony comes in carrying flowers for Chelsea. He's there to talk to Kate about the commercial.

Patch stirs. He wakes, up and finds himself in bed, "What the hell?"

Ava says, "Well it's about time sleepyhead. Welcome to the good old days."

"The good old days," asks Patch, "You mean before DOOL?"

Marlena chokes as John puffs. Phillip wants to talk. John says he is busy. Phillip wonders if he's trying to figure out whose business to sabotage next. Paul and Phillip get into it. Paul accuses Phillip of trying to frame him, "You can't frame a guilty man," says Phillip.

Tony says the commercial is set to roll. Chelsea doesn't want Kate to delay production for her. Daniel assures Kate she Chelsea be fine, so Chelsea tells Kate and Tony to go, "Don't worry about me. I'm in excellent hands."

Daniel thinks, "Yeah, poor Nick."

Lexie tells Abe Bo hasn't heard from Hope and now they are both missing. Not only that, Steve and Kayla are missing, too.

"This isn't looking good," says the ever-astute Abe.

"You're right about that," says Lexie, "Most quadruple kidnappings fall in the 'not good' category." She says she didn't tell him earlier because he was in court, and Bo didn't want the cops involved.

"That's uncharacteristically smart of Bo," says Abe, "Evidently he wants to come out of this alive."

Ava tells Patch nothing happened, "I can remember a time when you couldn't wait to be naked in bed with me."

"That was before I saw you naked," says Patch. He remembers Bo and Hope and wants to know if Hope is getting help. Ava assures him they are fine. She says she had a nice little talk with Kayla. She's decided she gets the kid in payment for Patch running out on her. She also says Kayla agreed.

Patch doesn't believe it, "So you want the baby more than you want us together? Get my clothes."

John says Phillip doesn't have any proof. He tells Paul they will finish their discussion late, and Paul leaves.

"Call me crazy," says Phillip, "but he's got nerve, when he along with you tried to undermine my company."

"All right, Crazy, we'll talk about it," says John. He turns to Marlena, "I think you should leave, Blondie."

Blondie don' wanna. Phillip tells John Marlena is the one who first warned him about John. Phillip thinks they are about even but John isn't going to let it go, "I play to win."

Phillip says, "There was a time not long ago when I respected you."

John says, "And there was a time not long ago I knew you to be a man who could stand on his own two feet. Now you're going to respect me in a whole new way."

Phillip says he once worked for John when he came home from the Marines, "I was green back then but I'm not the same man any more, John."

"From what I hear," says John, "That's literally true." Marlena says she won't sit by and let John do this.

Tony rushes out of Chelsea's room as Lexie fills Abe in on Kayla and Ava. Abe says he knows about Ava. He tells Lexie about the Vitalis. Lexie wonders why they would take Hope.

"Maybe it was just Bo's lucky day," says Abe, "But she could be in danger."

"Right," says Lexie, "Being kidnapped usually means being in danger."

Ava says, "I want our baby." Patch reminds her it's not theirs. Ava softens. She's thinking Patch might be telling the truth about what happened at the church. She knows he loved her.

Patch tells her, "I did love you, Ava, but I knew it wasn't right to marry you. I was going to call it off."

Ava whines, "But you promised we would spend all the Days Of Our Lives together."

"I loved somebody else," says Patch, "Even if I didn't remember, I couldn't go through with it. I don't want to hurt you any more, but Kayla is the one. She's the love of my life."

"I felt that way about you," says Ava, "You said you felt that way about me."

Patch agrees, but he thinks maybe they were both just using each other to escape, "But the truth is we couldn't run away. We weren't meant to be together. You have to see that. And I'm not Patch anymore. I'm Steve Johnson. You don't know me. It's time to move on."

Daniel says Chelsea's temp is coming down. She's not out of the woods yet, but he'll be there for her until she's well. She thanks him for everything. She can tell he really cares. He says he cares about all his patients and leaves.

Outside he fills the crowd in. Abe wants to talk to her about Bo and Hope. Daniel tells him to be careful what he says to her.

Abe goes into Chelsea's room and asks if she knows what's going on with Bo and Hope. She says she thought maybe he would know. Abe wonders if they are with Steve and Kayla. She asks if they are in danger.

Ava says, "I believe you are the same man i loved. The rebel... the bad boy... the man with the great big heart. It's that thing... that thing we had."

"I'm glad you clarified what thing you were talking about," says Patch. He thinks she's fooling herself. He admits they were good together and had great sex. She insists it was more than that. Patch resorts to the Guy Manual and comes up with, "If you care for me, you will let me go."

John says the Kiriakis Empire has ships over the world, "The port of Salem is small potatoes."

Phillip doesn't think he believes that, "Whoever owns the docks owns Salem." He says Victor's life is there and John can't take that away. John says if he is to succeed there, Phillip and Victor have to step aside.

Abe lies, "They're not really in danger. Bo just wants to get back to work." Chelsea sees through it and wonders why they aren't there. Abe promises he will find out.

Tony catches Kate and rambles about the commercial. Kate says she can't do this right now. She says she will be at the shoot, but has to concentrate on Chelsea.

Abe comes out and tells Daniel and Lexie Chelsea is worried about Bo and Hope. He heads out to find them. As he goes, Lexie asks, "What's your plan?"

"Plans are for wimps," says Abe.

Ava can't let it go. If she does, she thinks her life would be over. She will forgive him for everything he's done, "Because that's what you do when you love someone. I just can't give up."

"Well, then," says Patch, "I guess I'm gonna have to."

"What does that mean," asks Ava.

"I'm not gonna fight you any more," says Patch, "I want you to get what you need so you'll feel OK about letting the others go. If you have me you won't need the baby. We'll make one of our own." He moves in.

Daniel comes into Chelsea's room. He tells her they don't have a handle on things yet. She's OK with that. She has faith in him, "But I just wish you weren't my doctor."

"That's strange," says Daniel, "That's what most patients tell Lexie."

Phillip accuses John of being a true DiMera. John says he is his own man. Phillip feels sorry for Marlena. He wishes both of them luck and leaves.

John turns to Marlena, "Well, I assume you're disappointed in me again."

I'm not disappointed in you," says Marlena, "Not since the last time we had sex, anyway. I'm disappointed in your business dealings. The old John used to be Superman, Captain Marvel and Gandhi rolled into one."

Marlena wishes John would realize life is worth living. John says he needs a reason to get up in the morning. Marlena says she will give him one, and walks up and kisses him. John says, "If you're trying to bribe me, it might just work."

It's working for Steve and Ava, too. Steve the trooper says he will have sex right now if she will let the Clod Squad go. Ava refuses, "I want your whole heart and soul." Steve says if she wants him she has to take him the way he is – still in love with his wife, "Can you live with my terms?"

"Did I say that out loud," asks Chelsea. I said it because if I weren't your patient we could be like... you know in the normal way... or not. I'm just going to shut my mouth because I'm delirious and you are too worldly and way too much..."

Daniel finishes it for her, "Older."

Chelsea says to chalk it up to the fact she's on a lot of drugs and to forget it. He OK's it as long as he can still be her doctor.

Marlena works on John. She's decided she needs to be a little more aggressive about getting him to remember. John excuses himself to get ready for his hot date. Marlena is disoriented.

Chelsea sleeps. Daniel says, "I know what you were trying to say, so get better. You've got your whole rotten life ahead of you."

Jenny comes in with the results. Daniel looks at them and sighs, "Great."

Ava says, "Let's do it. Let's make a baby." She moves him onto the bed and dives in.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Men Are Pigs – All Of Them

Sami rushes in and finds John half naked, "Sorry, John, I thought you were EJ."

"Because of my rippling pecs and my six pack abs," asks John.

"Not exactly," says Sami, "EJ doesn't like to shower after a workout either. And, by the way, your six-pack has turned into a keg."

John wants to know if he's making her uncomfortable. "A little," says Sami. John puts on a shirt, ending today's gratuitous shirtless scene. She asks if EJ was at the gym when John left. John doesn't know. Sami runs out.

EJ returns, walks up to John and whispers, "Is Sami around?"

"Why are we whispering," asks John.

"Because I don't want her to know I'm home."

EJ walks off and John sits there bewildered, "And people think I have a bizarre marriage."

Well, speaking of John's bizarre marriage, there she is. Marlena walks in.

Morgan brings recycling posters for Max to put up in the pub because, as we all know, DOOL has gone green. So has mold. Morgan tells him things don't look good with her dad. Max hugs her as Stephanie walks through the door and soaks it in.

Kayla asks Angelo where everybody is. He tells her to take it easy. He assures her they are all OK and says someone is taking care of Hope's gunshot wound. Angelo asks Mikey to take her away. Kayla swats him and demands to talk to Ava. Angelo threatens to use force. Kayla says, "You're not gonna hurt me. I'm carrying a baby. The baby that Ava wants. Now let me see her."

"Don't you need an ultrasound to do that," asks Angelo.

Marlena says her vacation was nice, "I got lucky with the Colorado weather."

"How about us," asks John, "Do I get lucky? "

Marlena says she did a lot of soul searching and decided her only option is to accept him as he is. John says that's reason to celebrate and goes for champagne as Marlena says she will not give up on the old John. She caresses his cheek and then pulls away. He wants to know why she is so afraid. Marlena claims she isn't. John presses, "You might like the new me. From what I understand the old me was just a dial tone."

"The new you isn't exactly an iPhone," says Marlena. She walks out for a hot bath. John follows and suggests he join her.

While Marlena expresses shock at his suggestion, he pulls a tiny black thingy out of her baggage, "This has possibilities. You're going to model this for me aren't you?"

Marlena says, "No." He continues to yank it from her as Marlena repeats, "Give it to me."

Sami and EJ walk in on the little scene. EJ says, "Marlena? Welcome home."

Stephanie interrupts the big hug. Morgan walks off as Max insists the hug was innocent. "I didn't even notice," says Stephanie, "I hardly had time to get more than four or five shots of it on my cell phone camera." She tells him she's worried about her mom and dad. Max dishes out more hugs. Tom Hanks' double watches.

Ava comes in to see Kayla. Angelo tells them to play nice and says he will be right outside. They argue about who Patch was and who he is now. Ava pops a pill and Kayla asks what it is.

John plays with the thingy as Marlena and Sami greet each other. He calls Rolf in to handle the bags and tells him to work on his accent. John helps carry things upstairs as Rolf goes to Stefano's painting, "I'm not zo zure I like zis monzter you've created."

Max serves pie and Evil Tom looks on. Evil Tom calls Angelo, who tells him to keep tailing the "Johnson girl."

Stephanie zones as Morgan blathers about her internship. Stephanie finally excuses herself to go get her cell phone. Evil Tom follows.

Kayla wants to see the pills. She reminds Ava she's a doctor. Ava tosses them to her. "Who prescribed them," asks Kayla.

"We're done here," snorts Ava, "You don't give a damn about me."

"I care about you very much," lies Kayla, "I'm carrying the baby you want. I have to make sure you're healthy enough to take care of it. Tell me about the drugs."

Evil Tom follows Stephanie as she comes back into the pub and stares at Max. She asks who Morgan is talking to. Max dunno. Max accuses Stephanie of being jealous. Stephanie admits it. She thinks he must be annoyed with her for acting possessive. "I think it's sexy," says Max, "You know, having two hot chicks fighting over me." Stephanie thinks she should apologize to Morgan.

Stephanie goes over and Morgan introduces Joel from the health club. Joel says he'll see her tomorrow and leaves. Morgan insists there is nothing going on with Max and her, "Do you love him?"


"Have you told him?"

"Those words haven't come out yet."

"Maybe its' time they do," says Morgan.

Rolf surveys John's disc and remembers Stefano draining his memory. It's the realism that makes this show.

Kayla works Ava. She wants to help, but can't if Ava doesn't help her. Ava says she's seen half the doctors in this state and they haven't been able to do a thing. "I've helped similar people," says Kayla.

"You mean crazy people," says Ava.

"I don't think you're crazy," says Kayla, "You're so far past crazy you couldn't get back there with a GPS. You tried to kill yourself didn't you?"

Marlena comes in as Rolf quickly shoves the disc back into the safe. She wonders what he was doing.

Stephanie goes back and asks to talk to Max, "It's about you and me. And me and you – and how I feel about you." She chickens out and says she needs for the two of them to be alone, but Max pulls her back and asks for two minutes.

Morgan comes up and pries. Stephanie tells her she wants to wait until it's just the two of them. Suddenly, the lights go out. Max walks out and announces there is a power failure and the pub has to shut down. Everyone there will get a free meal later. Evil Tom leads the parade of customers outside. Sly Max locks the door and goes back and turns on the lights. "Well," says Morgan, "That's my cue to leave."

Max asks, "So what was that thing you wanted to tell me?"

Caroline comes in, "I don't know what she wants to say but I'm telling you that you have to pay for all the meals they just walked away from and the free ones you gave away."

Ava flashes her wrist bandage and says she tried to kill herself right after Patch left, "Go ahead and say it – too bad it didn't work. I've been on suicide watch ever since." Kayla asks what her doctors have said her diagnosis was.

"Brief psychotic disorder," says Ava. Kayla says that's an illness triggered by a single event. The symptoms shouldn't have lasted more than a month. Kayla thinks something is up. Unfortunately, it's not this episode, which continues to drag on forever.

Stephanie rambles. She's wanted to tell him this for a long time, "I love you, Max." Max smiles.

Marlena presses. Rolf says the painting was a little crooked. "Like it's subject," says Marlena, "He's the kind of ne'er-do-well who would put a person in a coma and leave him there to vegetate without batting an eye." Rolf tells her she has a wicked sense of humor and leaves.

Sami joins Marlena and asks about the thingy she brought back, "You are so busted." Marlena doesn't want to talk about it.

Sami does, "Promise me you'll be careful. On this show, even a woman your age can get pregnant. I hate to tell you this – men are pigs. All of them." She tells Marlena about the incident with Nicole at Chez Rouge. Marlena sympathizes as EJ eavesdrops. Marlena thinks Sami is having feelings for EJ.

Kayla thinks the pills could be more harm than good if Ava has been misdiagnosed. Ava thinks Daddy would not hire a quack. Kayla asks more questions about the meds.

EJ continues to eavesdrop as Sami claims she only feels anger for EJ. Sami is sick of everyone telling her she's jealous. Marlena thinks she cares for EJ. Sami admits she cares for him because he's Johnny's father. Part of Marlena will always hate what EJ did to her, but she knows people can change, "He sacrificed his relationship with his father to help me find John. I will always be grateful to him for that, and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt." Sami can't buy that.

EJ walks in, "Maybe you should listen to your mother."

Ava thinks Kayla will use this information to turn Patch against her. Kayla says Patch wants Ava to get better. She asks about the pills. Kayla thinks the pills are making Ava more agitated. Ava thinks it's Kayla that's agitating her.

Sami nukes because EJ was eavesdropping. He claims he was just walking by and overheard. John walks in and tells them all to keep it down. EJ figures Sami is still upset about Nicole, "You're lucky Nicole didn't press assault charges." EJ fills Marlena in on "Slugger's" antics.

John shuts them up. Johnny cries and John huffs out. Sami leaves to take care of the baby. Unfortunately, she can't find Belle anywhere.

EJ gets a call from Burke the immigration guy as Marlena tells Sami she can't walk away from her problems. Sami goes back in with EJ.

Ava rages for Angelo to come and get her. Angelo and Mikey walk in. Ava orders, "Get her out of here." Mikey hauls Kayla out. Angelo stays and tells Ava Patch is out cold. Ava thinks she and Patch need time, "up close and personal."

Max says Stephanie caught him off guard. This isn't how Stephanie thought it would go. She wants to rewind the conversation. Max wants to know how she thought it would go. She says she thought they would be someplace romantic like a beach on a blanket and she would tell him and he would take her into his arms and give her the most amazing kiss and look into her eyes and say it to her.

Max drags her across the room and gets wine and turns on music, "Um... Stephanie Johnson... I – know it's not how you pictured it, but I love you. I do." They embrace as sappy music plays. Evil Tom watches from outside.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Monday, April 21, 2008

What You Don't Know Won't Hurt Me

Daniel examines Chelsea as Kate and Nick look on. Victor arrives and stirs things up.

Daniel tells them he just got the test results back, "It's peritonitis."

What's causing it," asks Victor.

"It should be obvious," says Daniel, "Her periton is inflamed."

"What the hell is a periton," asks Victor.

"I was hoping you knew," says Daniel.

Kate rages that she warned everyone this would happen. Victor wonders where Bo is.

Lexie tries to reach Bo. She leaves a message and tells him to get over to the hospital ASAP.

Sami runs on her treadmill and then collapses. EJ comes in. He's impressed she ran five miles. Dog miles. EJ tries to ramp his machine up, "I can't find the hounds of hell chomping at my behind setting." He wonders where the twins are.

Sami says she dumped them on the gym's babysitter. Nicole walks up and is glad to see Sami is working off the postpartum pounds. She says she has a theory on why Lucas shot EJ, "He opted to go to prison because the sex is better there than it is with you."

Morgan comes in and admires Phillip's arms of steel. "It's my leg that's steel," says the self deprecating Phillip.

Paul meets with John. John wants to know what Phillip and Victor are up to, "Did Phillip or Victor ever try to bribe you?" Paul is silent. "I'll take that as a yes," says John, "So much for your loyalty and for me keeping you out of jail."

Sami treads backwards and warns EJ he will wind up walking that fuzzball of a dog if he keeps pandering to Nicole. She decides she needs a sauna.

Paul says he didn't take any Kiriakis money. He tells John Victor and Phillip wanted him to let their shipments in. Paul swears he is loyal to John. John wants to know how he will prove that.

Phillip tells Morgan he knows her dad was accepting bribes. He warns her to tell him to stay away from John.

Daniel says Chelsea knew the risks. Chelsea backs him up. He orders an antibiotic cocktail and a probiotic cocktail, apparently so they will cancel each other out.

Kate takes Daniel aside, "Is she really going to be all right?"

Daniel says "Well, I'll do my damndest to make sure."

Sami and EJ bicker about what she should be doing with her day. Nicole interrupts, "Well, I hope your make-up sex is as good as mine was with Lucas. On second thought, that would be impossible."

Maggie shows up. Nicole hurls insults as Jillian walks in. Maggie introduces her as her personal trainer. Jillian sizes up the girls and turns to Nicole, "These days we like to say no investment no return. And it looks like your assets are bottoming out." Sami and Maggie soak it in.

Nicole moons us, "There ain't noting wrong with these assets."

Phillip tells Morgan, "John has ruined your father's job and reputation. If he keeps hitching his future to John things will get much worse."

Jillian tells Maggie she's doing well and informs Sami and Nicole she has morning sessions available. Sami has already signed up. Jillian doesn't expect Nicole to do that, however. "That's OK," says Sami, "Nicole hydrates. She drinks two quarts... of something... a day." Sami leaves.

Nicole goes into a rage, "Could she be a bigger loser?" Did you notice how subtle they were with that?

Nicole asks EJ if he can go over her case. EJ agrees and turns to Maggie to congratulate her on getting her 'green restaurant' certification. "What does that mean," asks Nicole.

EJ explains, "It means anyone who eats there is guaranteed to turn green."

John says he bets the Kiriakis' didn't offer Paul enough or he would have gone over to their side, "I see you as a 'highest bidder' kind of guy. Paul wants his life back. John says he will be in touch. Paul wants to know what John will expect from him. John thinks he should cut him loose and let him fry.

Paul gets his hackles up, "That you are not gonna do."

"Are you giving the orders now," asks John, "I don't think so."

Lexie tells Victor she can't find Bo – Same with Steve and Hope. She tells him about Bo not wanting to involve Abe. Victor says Bo asked him about the Vitalis. Lexie asks if she should tell Abe about this. "If Bo didn't want the cops brought into this, he had good reason. Bo's no fool. But he aspires to it someday."

Nurse Jenny says she hasn't ever seen probiotics used for peritonitis. "Now you have," says the ever-confident Daniel. He asks Chelsea how she's doing. She says she's ready to get out of there and do a little surfing. Daniel thinks it's a little cold, but when she gets out of there they can join the penguin club. Nick watches and leaves with his tail between his legs.

Morgan and Phillip talk about Paul's mistakes.

John knows Paul needs money and needs his reputation back. In order to accomplish that, John says Paul is going to help John ruin the Kiriakis' reputation. Paul thinks John has him right in his pocket. John reminds him it's a deep pocket. He tells him to keep his nose clean until things come down. He won't reveal his plan, though, "What you don't know won't hurt me."

Maggie stops Sami and asks if something is wrong. Sami says the sauna reminded her of when Lucas saved her life. "And EJ's," says Maggie. Maggie never forgets a detail.

"Sometimes we make mistakes," says Sami. Maggie asks if Sami has seen Lucas in prison. Sami tells her she's tried but Lucas refuses, "He only has eyes for Carmine now."

Nicole drinks her juice, "Juice without vodka is like a day without sunshine." EJ fills her in on the divorce plan. Nicole thinks getting rid of Victor will be worth every penny she has to pay him. EJ leaves. Nicole sneaks off.

John tells Paul either to trust him or go back to his life as a loser. Paul says he is in. John hands him a wad-o-cash and tells him to wait and soon another scandal will come along and he will be yesterday's news. Paul thinks he's about to lose his daughter's respect. They toast their shady partnership.

Morgan tells Phillip she isn't just another southern Belle. She got her first bloody nose in a fight at 11, and thinks she can take care of herself.

"Probably better than your daddy can," says Phillip. A referee steps in and penalizes Phillip fifteen yards for unsportsmanlike conduct. Morgan says she doesn't want her father near John Black DiMera. Phillip is glad they agree on something.

Sami tells Maggie she didn't expect her life to turn out this way. Suddenly, she sees Nicole holding Allie and rushes out into the hall.

Daniel tells Nurse Jenny he needs the lab analysis. She leaves as Kate and Nick walk in. Jenny comes right back in with the analysis. Daniel looks at it, "Now we are getting somewhere." He prepares a hypodermic needle and walks over to Chelsea, "Big girls don't cry." He injects. "I can't do this by myself," says Daniel, "You gotta fight. Let your mind believe it."

Time passes. Daniel takes Chelsea's temperature and shows Kate it's coming down. Daniel puts another notch on his stethoscope, "Another day, another miracle." Kate is contrite. Magnanimous Daniel understands. He leaves to tell Victor the crisis is past.

Outside, Daniel gives Victor the good news. Victor is grateful. Daniel asks if he wants to tell Bo and Hope. Victor says he would if he could reach them "First Brady goes missing and now my son and his wife. How lucky can a guy get? "

Sami rages at Nicole and says she is the only one authorized to take the kids out of the babysitting area. EJ reminds her she isn’t. Allie cries and Sami hustles her off.

Morgan tells Phillip about Chelsea. John has arrived at the health club and overhears their conversation.

Chelsea says, "I feel like Dorothy at the end of the Wizard of Oz."

"You look more like Toto," says Kate.

"There's no place like home," says Chelsea. She talks about going surfing. Nick pouts. Daniel watches through the half-open door.

John eavesdrops as Morgan and Phillip talk about Chelsea. Phillip offers to call Victor to see what's going on. He leaves. John eyes Morgan.

Sami warns Nicole to stay away from her children. She turns to EJ, "I don't want them near this thing."

"I don't even know which brat I was holding," says Nicole, "EJ's baby or Lucas' baby. Good thing you didn't have triplets. Can't tell the fathers without a program."

POW! She gives Nicole a bona-fide Lucas Roberts-Horton sucker-punch.

Nicole collapses into a heap on the floor.

Chelsea wakes to find Dr. Surfer Boy standing there. She asks how long he has been there. "The whole time you were out," says Daniel, "I was admiring your strength and courage."

Chelsea blushes, "Are you sure you weren't admiring my breasts?"

"No," says Daniel, "I left my microscope in the lab. I love you so much."

"I love you too," says Chelsea. Hot kiss.

She pops out of it to find Nick and tells him she was dreaming.

Phillip calls and asks Victor how Chelsea is doing. He fills him in. Phillip hangs up and tells Morgan. She wants to see her. Phillip offers a ride. She says she has her car there. Phillip says, "If I ask like a country gentleman will you tell your father to stay away from John Black? I'd hate to see you get caught in the crossfire."

John wanders through the gym and phones Paul, "We just got a break. Victor is dealing with a family crisis. Couldn't be a better time to make a move." He walks over to Phillip and Morgan, "It's paramount to stay in shape because you never knew when something's coming to get you."

Nicole wants to sue. EJ tells her she can't, "The way she blindsided you, it's an open-and-shut case, but Mickey's firm has a policy against winning."

Nicole says, "I hope this doesn't bruise, because I have a date with John Black." Sami hears that and nukes.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Saturday, April 19, 2008


The Guy Manual

Chapter 10 - Excuses

Nearly Foolproof Excuses:

1. I thought it was you. (Submitted by Mr. Bo Brady)

2. She was in disguise and looked exactly like you. (Submitted by Mr. Jack Devereaux).

3. I lost my memory. (Submitted by Mr. Steve Johnson, Mr. John Black and Mr. Tommy Horton, Jr.)

4. I thought you were dead. (Submitted by Mr. John Black, Mr. Bo Brady and Mr. Mickey Horton)

5. I was locked in a cell with him and he was begger than I am. (Submitted by Mr. Lucas Roberts)

6. I was trapped on a tropical island for twenty years. (Submitted by Mr. Tony DiMera). Note: Surprisingly, many women deem this excuse to be marginal.

Excuses to Avoid:

1. She's your sister. I kept it in the family. (Submitted by Mr. Austin Reed and Mr. Lucas Roberts)

2. She's your mother-in-law. I kept it in the family. (Submitted by Mr. E.J. Wells)

3. She's your mother. I kept it in the family. (Submitted by Mr. Doug Williams and Mr. Nick Fallon)

4. Your point? (Submitted by Mr. Max Brady).

5. She named her lobster after me. (Submitted by Mr. Austin Reed)

6. She had the biggest... (Submitted by Mr. Mickey Horton)

Excuses you may hear:

1. I didn't get your email, (Submitted by Ms. Hope Brady)

2. He paid me. (Submitted by Ms. Kate Roberts and Ms. Billie Reed)

3. He was male. (Submitted by Ms. Bonnie Lockhart)

4. It was an emergency. The barn was on fire. (Submitted by Ms. Belle Black Kiriakis Brady).

5. It was an emergency. I only had one more day before our wedding.(Submitted by Ms. Belle Black Kiriakis Brady).

6. I lost track and thought he was my current husband. (Submitted by Ms. Marlena Evans).

7. He raped me - I think. (Submitted by Ms. Sami Brady).

8. You were trapped on a tropical island. (Submitted by Ms. Anna DiMera)

9. I thought you were dead... again. (Submitted by Ms. Jennifer Devereaux)

10. I figured in five minutes we'd both be dead. (Submitted by Ms. Billie Reed)

12. He had the biggest... wallet. (Submitted by Ms. Bonnie Lockhart)

13. Mothers and daughters should share. (Submitted by Ms. Billie Reed and the late Ms. Addie Williams)

14. Both my knees have the same polarity. (Submitted by Ms. Kate Roberts)

15. I did it for you. (Submitted by Ms. Kimberly Brady)

16. I only did it with part of his body. (Submitted by Ms. Belle Black Kiriakis Brady).

Excuses universally accepted by all women:

1. It was you, I knew it was you, and in fact, it was your idea. (Of course, you might think under these circumstances you don't need an excuse, but, believe me, it will come in handy some day).

2. Refer to #1.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Getting Barreled In The Green Room

Dr. Jonas, Kate and Lexie are in with Chelsea. Daniel tells Lexie what happened to her. Lexie walks over to Kate, "Has she been overexerting herself."

"Not really," says Kate, "She's the same pain in the butt she's always been." Her BP is 80/50 and that will complicate the surgery. Kate takes Daniel aside, "I think you need to start talking NOW."

Daniel asks, "Does that mean you have to shut up NOW?"

EJ comes back and is giddy about his new office at Mickey's firm. He rambles around about all the neat things he and Sami can do together. Sami is snooty. She's headed for the park with the twins but says EJ isn't going with them.

Ava rages and pounds on Patch. Kayla steps in but Patch referees and they back off. "Dang," says Bo, "I was all primed for a good catfight." Ava has a total meltdown and screams at Patch to apologize for what he has done to her. Patch says he's sorry. Ava tells him she will never forgive him. Bo whispers to Patch, "We gotta get outta here, man." Patch is amazed Bo came up with such a brilliant observation.

Sami insists EJ isn't going. EJ reminds her the last time she took the twins to the park alone Johnny cried the whole time they were there and Ali got a rash. Sami snorts, "Are you implying I can't take care of my own children?" EJ takes his foot out of his mouth and backpedals. She thinks it would be a bad idea for EJ to accompany them, "What about your client? Don't you have to take care of her?"

"Don't tell me this is about Nicole," says EJ.

"I don't want you working with her," says Sami. The bicker-fest continues. EJ brings up the dinner at Chez Rouge and says Sami and Nicole made a scene. "Why an I getting the lecture," asks Sami

"Because you're my wife."

"Be careful how you use that word," says Sami. EJ backs of and Sami wants to know if that means he's dropping Nicole.

Daniel says he has to run tests before he can figure out what is wrong with Chelsea. But they've already decided to operate? Chelsea tells Kate Daniel will take care of her. Nick arrives. Kate tells him she thinks Dr. Jonas isn't telling them something. Nick sits with Chelsea and reminds her they had planned to do the John Hughes movie marathon today, "Maybe tomorrow." He leaves.

Ava has calmed down and asks Kayla what she thinks of Patch now. Kayla says she doesn't think Patch meant to hurt her. Ava gets upset because Kayla is defending him. Hope offers to help Ava. They all chime in. They'll get her treatment. Ava says she's been in treatment and it didn't work. She freaks out again and smashes a vase, "I HATE ALL OF YOU!"

Sami hands EJ the phone and tells him to call and dump Nicole. He refuses and tells her not to question his priorities. Right now they need the money and he has to think of his job first.

"Job yes," says Sami, "Working for the devil, no. You are underestimating her. Ask Victor how he felt when she almost murdered him."

"I did," says EJ, "He said he felt electrified."

Sami worries about the kids. EJ insists Nicole won't come anywhere near the kids. He wants to drop it and take them to the park. Sami tells EJ, "Until you drop Nicole, you're not going to the park or anywhere with your son."

EJ asks, "You mean drop her as my client?"

"No," says Sami, "Out of a 20-story window."

Sweat rolls off of Chelsea. She sees everyone has gone, so she tells Daniel he can tell her the truth now. Daniel says it's too early to tell. Chelsea asks, "Then why do you guys keep giving each other looks."

Outside. Kate tells Nick she couldn’t get hold of Billie.

"I did," says Nick, "But only one time, unfortunately." Nick thinks Bo may be on his way. He tried his cell phone and got nothing.

Ava weirds out. She slowly approaches Patch, "You are the most handsome man I have ever seen."

"You've either got bad eyesight or you've gotta get out of this room and see more men," says Patch.

Ava drones, "I couldn't wait to say 'I do' and spend all the Days Of Our Lives together. We were gonna go to Vegas for our honeymoon and when morning came we would just stay in bed. Do you remember, Patch? Do you remember?" Patch remembers.

"Do you hear that," says Ava, "They're playing our song. Let's dance."

Patch embraces her as they sway back and forth.

Pink Floyd sings softly...

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me till I'm sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.

Ava catches Kayla watching and screams, "Who invited you? He married you and you destroyed my life."

"It didn't do my life much good either," says Kayla.

Not to be outdone in the hysterics department, Kayla goes bonkers and tells Ava she holds her responsible for OMB's death. Ava is sorry about that little goof. She calms down and claims they all tricked her, "But the joke's on you guys. You all miss your pop so much? Why don't we just arrange a little reunion in hell. I want 'em all dead."

Kayla says she knows Ava has a heart, "You wouldn't kill an innocent baby would you?"

"No more than you would put it's life in danger by springing yourself from a hospital and going on a wild goose chase," says Ava.

Kayla puts Ava's hands on her tummy. Ava feels the baby. Kayla says, "You tell George to put the gun down."

EJ and Sami have the same old argument. Sami threatens to turn on him when they meet with the immigration agent. EJ thinks John was right and Sami is jealous.

Dr. Daniel thinks Chelsea is brave. He tells her the story of a big strong football player he had as a patient once. Daniel had to give him a tetanus shot and Mr. Macho fainted. "What a weenie," says Chelsea, "He must have played for the Dolphins."

The nurse comes in with test results. The blood drains from Daniel's face. He asks for her to rush the rest of the tests.

The Grim Reaper walks into the room. Chelsea senses something is wrong, "It's not good is it?"

Kayla keeps working on Ava. Hope chimes in. Ava feels the baby kick.

Patch pulls Angelo aside and says they have to help her, "If we all die, she's responsible and the guilt will eat her alive. She won't get away with it, either."

"Haven't you ever heard of temporary insanity," asks Angelo.

"Sure," says Patch, "On this show it's everywhere, but it's not temporary." Angelo softens. He tells George to put the gun down and tells Ava they have to rethink this. Ava protests.

"We only want what's best for you," says Patch.

Ava freaks, "YOU were best for me."

Daniel says this isn't the time for panic. He says they should wait for all the test results, "Then we can panic." He tires to change the subject. He asks where she would go if she could go anywhere. Chelsea decides she would go back to New York or maybe Australia. Daniel has been to Australia many times to surf, "Getting barreled in the green room is pretty gnarly. You should try it."

"I've never been barreled in the green room," says Chelsea, "But one time Nick nailed me in the living room and it's green. I don't know how to hang ten." He suggests dancing in Sydney, or going on a caged diving expedition to see the sharks. He did it and was freaked out of his mind. Chelsea passes on that. He assures her she'll get to take the dream vacation, probably sooner than she thinks.

The clod squad is all tied up. Bo and Hope are back-to-back in chairs and likewise Patch and Kayla. "I'm OK," says Patch, "How's everyone else doing."

"I'm OK," says Kayla.

"I'm OK," says Bo.

"I'm OK," slurs Hope.

"I'm OK," says John-Boy.

Hope drifts as the dialogue fades out. Bo reminds them they have been in worse jams than this, as he and Patch remember their weddings. Hope zones.

Sami is indignant that EJ should suggest she is jealous.

"Well," says EJ, "You've got to admit – she's attractive."

"For a basset hound," says Sami, "She has the body of a twelve year old boy."

Father O'Brien sticks his head in the door, "How do I find this person?"

EJ begs to differ with her. More bickering.

Sami asks, "Are you already falling for her?"

Daniel gets Chelsea to smile and tells her she's got a lot to smile about. He moves in on her and gives her a hot kiss.

The crew figures people must be looking for them. Bo asks, "Hope, you hanging in there." She's hanging all right. More like slumping. Bo screams for her to wake up.

Dr. Jonas works yet another miracle. He performs Chelsea's tonsillectomy with his tongue.

She pops out of her fantasy, as Daniel heads for the lab. Alone, Chelsea sighs, "You are such an idiot."

Outside, Daniel tells Kate and Nick they can go see her. They head in and vow to stay there until she is well. She asks Nick about the class he has to teach. "I cancelled it," says Nick, "Of course I had no intention of going anyway."

The clod squad begs George to untie Hope. He checks her out, "She's still breathing. She's fine." As he walks away, Bo stomps on his foot. George whirls around and pistol-whips Bo into the next county.

EJ claims he's not falling for Nicole. Sami tells him he can have her for all she cares. She leaves for the park. EJ closes the door behind her and chuckles.

Chelsea wants Nick and Kate to stop acting like there is something wrong with her, or else she will start to believe it.

Outside, Daniel tells Lexie he got the results, "It's not good, Lexie. She's going to live."

Bo is down. Hope is down. Kayla says, "We have to get Hope to a hospital. Forget Bo." Patch asks George to help them. Angelo and Ava come in. Angelo sends George outside and checks out Bo and Hope. He says they are OK. Patch appeals to Ava.

Ava has news. She likes their company, so she's not going to kill them. She gets upset because they don't say thank you. The big news is she has decided Kayla is her surrogate and she's going to keep them there until the baby is born. She wants the baby to have Patch's smile. She thinks this will be payback for Patch ruining her life. Once Kayla has her baby, she will decide who lives and who dies.

Patch turns to Kayla, "Sweetness I'm sorry."

"If you think you're sorry now," says Kayla, "Wait until I get you home."

NOTE: Please ignore this morning's news reports of a tremor of 5.4 magnitude on the Richter scale centered in west Salem. At first scientists thought this was an earthquake, but further investigation revealed Shawn and Belle returned from their voyage and the tremor happened when Shawn rammed the boat into the pier west of town.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

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