Thursday, October 31, 2013

A Sappy Family Moment

Marlena says she doesn't like being yelled at.  Maybe that's why Victor is yelling. #DAYS
 
Victor lists ways you could prove an affair in the old days. How does he know? God knows the proof was used against him enough times. #DAYS
 
JJ gives up drugs and it turns into a sappy family moment.  I haven't seen so much love in a room since Narcissus looked in a mirror. #DAYS
 
Nicole swears on a Bible.  I expected either Nicole or the Bible to burst into flame. #DAYS

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Caveman-Style

Abby calls heads for Cameron, tails for Chad. If it lands on its side, she becomes Austin's crazy stalker again. #DAYS
 
Sami's upset that EJ threatened Lucas.  I guess she expects that should be her exclusive responsibility. #DAYS
 
EJ hauls Samantha upstairs caveman-style.  But it was poor form. A true caveman would have dragged her by the hair. #DAYS
 
Nick says Will doesn't have to protect Gabi from him.  That might be true if Nick leaves town. #DAYS
 
Tommy traded Ciara his leather jacket for a bag of candy? Tommy's a moron. #DAYS

Monday, October 28, 2013

Kate's Proposition

Speculation that Theresa OD'd on a sex drug morphs into speculation that she OD'd on sex with Dr. Dan. #DAYS
 
Kate has a proposition for Nick.  That's not the first proposition she's ever made. #DAYS
 
Jennifer's shook that Daniel was at Theresa's place. It's an old excuse Jen, but in this case it's really not what it looks like. #DAYS
 
Jordan says she has nothing to hide. Translation: I wonder what she's hiding. #DAYS
 
Kate's beer had more foam than an oil tanker full of hair mousse. #DAYS

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Another Grueling Two Minutes At Work

Lucas thinks a guy could talk some sense into JJ. I hope Lucas is able to find that guy. #DAYS
 
Cameron suggests Abby ask Chad why he's being distant. Talk to Chad about his problem instead of Cameron? Bold new concept. #DAYS
 
Vegas odds on Stefano's transformation to a good guy lasting are the same as the odds the sun will rise in the west tomorrow morning. #DAYS
 
Jennifer gets to the hospital and Maxine immediately drags her off for a drink. Another grueling two minutes at work for Jennifer. #DAYS
 
Just as JJ and Theresa get busy, she passes out... the tease. #DAYS

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Shades Of "Minority Report"

Jennifer wants to help JJ before it's too late. Jen, it was too late for him when the doc slapped his butt and said, "It's a boy." #DAYS
 
Brady: "I love you. Nothing will ever change that." Translation: Change is a-comin' #DAYS
 
Jennifer wants to send JJ to prison before he commits a crime. Shades of "Minority Report." #DAYS
 
Theresa finally gets JJ to show some interest by attacking his male ego. Works every time. #DAYS

Monday, October 21, 2013

Miss Goody One Shoe

Jennifer threatens to kill Theresa. I'm going to have to lower Miss Goody Two Shoes' status to Miss Goody One Shoe. #DAYS
 
Jordan claims her references are in order.  Starting with bad and going to worst? #DAYS
 
Kate needn't worry. Rafe would never hook up with someone he has a professional relationship with. You know, like in a safe house... #DAYS
 
Daniel says he is out of Jennifer's life for good. Translation: he's out of her life until they get back together. #DAYS

Friday, October 18, 2013

A Lost Cat At A Dairy Farm

Jennifer and JJ argue.  Is there any possibility there is a deadly sinkhole about to collapse beneath their house?" #DAYS
 
Cameron says he can't discuss what Abby doesn't know because of confidentiality. Shrewd, Cameron. Now she can pester Chad for it. #DAYS
 
Theresa plays Karin like a fiddle and Karin laps it up like a lost cat at a dairy farm. #DAYS
 
JJ says Jennifer can't tell him what to do any more.  Perhaps he'd like Judge Goldberg to tell him instead? #DAYS

Thursday, October 17, 2013

You Can't Beat A Dead Whore

JJ is one lucky dude. Judge Goldberg showed leniency. Judge Prevuze would have thrown JJ in the slammer. #DAYS
 
Kristin and Marlena... Salem's answer to matter vs. anti-matter. #DAYS
 
EJ tells Chad he saw Stefano in the chapel; and miracle of miracles, it didn't burst into flame when Stefano walked in. #DAYS
 
Marlena to Kristin: "I realize you can't beat a dead whore." BWAHAHAHAHAHA! #DAYS

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Honor Code

Word from Salem Hospital is they're expecting a full recovery by Chad.  Probably means he's doomed. #DAYS
 
How come everyone in Salem has to be told the irresponsible actions of someone else aren't their fault? #DAYS
 
Daniel says he feels useless. Ask Chad how useless he thinks Daniel is. #DAYS
 
Anne says there is an honor code between her and Theresa. If there is it's a code no one has cracked. #DAYS

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Cheesier And More Fake Than A Grocery Aisle Full Of Velveeta

In the chapel God listens to Stefano... the only guy in Salem more powerful than He is. #DAYS
 
Jennifer says what happened to Chad is no more Abby's fault than what happened to Jack.  Her fetal-position sniveling killed Jack. #DAYS
 
Daniel declares Chad dead and then the monitor starts beeping. Cheesier and more fake than a grocery aisle full of Velveeta. #DAYS
 
Hey, Stefano, you can talk to God in Italian.  I think he speaks it and you wouldn't be blabbing all this stuff to others. #DAYS
 
Stefano makes a deal with God.  Maybe Stefano and God should be running Congress. #DAYS

Monday, October 14, 2013

His Blackmailing Best Friend

Chad says EJ became his best friend.  His blackmailing best friend, that is. #DAYS
 
The shooting isn't such a big disaster, folks. You can still eat the part of the cake that doesn't have blood splattered all over it. #DAYS
 
Are there any people in Salem who can hit the person they're shooting at? #DAYS
 
No, Daniel. You download the anti-virus software BEFORE you get the virus. #DAYS

Friday, October 11, 2013

Humdrum And Boring

EJ thinks Sami will be humdrum & boring when they marry. Was she humdrum & boring the last time they were married?" #DAYS
 
I liked Stefano's maniacal glare at the camera after the toast. #DAYS
 
Kate and Rafe suggest having a beer with Jordan. Yeah, let's get Jordan schnockered and see if she loosens up. #DAYS
 
Stefano hands Will and Sonny an olive branch. He's lucky they didn't beat him with it. #DAYS
 
I'm sure Rafe will "let bygones be bygones..." except, I bet, for the bygones that aren't completely bygone yet. #DAYS

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Another Homicidal Maniac

Marge goes to the darkside.  Just what #DOOL needs... yet another wild-eyed, drooling, wackadoodle homicidal maniac. #DAYS
 
Cameron seems to have a medical condition himself. BusyBodyItis. #DAYS
 
Cameron announces his joint is already making a profit.  Outrageous prices and watered-down drinks always help. #DAYS
 
Marge: before you kill yourself and Sami, you might want to recall Joe was cheating on you. #DAYS
 
Sami says the DiMeras make the Manson Family look like the Waltons.  And Father Matt makes Pa Walton look like... Father Matt. #DAYS
 
Sami says Marlena's support means the world to her.  It probably should since she's gotten so little of it over the years. #DAYS

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

That's Why You Get Paid The Small Bucks

For God's sake, Eric, it's not such a big deal to marry the poor schmucks. You're a priest. That's why you get paid the small bucks. #DAYS
 
Jennifer whines: "I'm never going to get JJ back." Count your blessings, Jen. #DAYS
 
It's strange to see Rafe struggling to walk as much as he sometimes struggles to think. #DAYS

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

The Almighty Dollar

Nicole announces she's leaving her job working for the Almighty to go to another job working for the Almighty Dollar. #DAYS
 
Well, JJ certainly taught all those windows a lesson, didn't he? #DAYS
 
If JJ has to pay for everything he destroyed Jack's book might make the bestseller list after all. #DAYS
 
Eric says he likes the kind of honesty Kristin & Brady have shown.  In Kristin's case, that would be the dishonest kind of honesty. #DAYS

Thursday, October 03, 2013

A Little Unconsummated Marriage, Rape Kidney Transplant Dust Up

Act 1, Scene 1, Line 1: EJ asks Sami about the kids.  They're the world's only orphans with living parents. #DAYS
 
Maggie asks Daniel how Jennifer is.  Wacky as usual, if you ask me. #DAYS
 
JJ asks about Jack and Kayla. It was no big deal. just a little unconsummated marriage, rape, kidney transplant dust up. #DAYS
 
Stefano tells Chad family can be compelling.  Right. Stefano & Chad's family seems compelled to be totally dysfunctional. #DAYS

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

A Fox In The Hen House

Kayla: "Hey, Jen... what are you doing at the hospital?"  Yes... everyone's shocked to see her at work. #DAYS
 
Theresa in hospital security? That's kind of like putting a fox in the hen house. #DAYS
 
Theresa says she's glad to have someone believe in her. Anne doesn't believe in you, kid. She's using you. #DAYS
 
Sami... what part of "EJ made a deal to get you out of a long prison sentence" confuses you?" #DAYS
 
Caroline defends EJ and extols the virtues of keeping vows. Does that include wedding vows, Caroline? #DAYS

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

A Little Talk

Kristin thinks she and Marlena should have a little talk. Between those two, there's no such thing as a little talk. #DAYS
 
Rafe should be careful mouthing off to Marge.  In his condition, I think she can take him. #DAYS
 
Adrienne asks, "So there is no guarantee we both won't screw up." Given your past, there's a guarantee you both WILL screw up. #DAYS
 
Father Matt: "What's in the past is behind us." Isn't that why we call it the past? #DAYS

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