I post Days of Our Lives previews here a day before the show airs. I find Daze pretty humorous on occasion, so if anything I say here offends you, well, sometimes I just can't help myself. Days Of Our Lives -- Embrace the Lunacy™
Lani: "I guess there is a downside to Wli's promotion." Yeah, like creating an instant office sexual harassment situation. #DAYS
Marriage: A sacred institution sanctioned by God. In Salem: A ruthless business tactic santioned by greed. #DAYS
Tony and Kristen have a lot in common. For starters, they're both back from the dead. #DAYS
Kristen to Tony: "It's time you returned to the land of the living." He must not be going to Salem since it should be known as "The Land of the Formerly Dead." #DAYS
Don't Gabi and Stefan at least need a marriage license? If they don't have one Abe marrying them would be no more effective than the Harold officiating. #DAYS
Haley freaks out. With Abby and Claire out of the picture, they had to find some way of keeping at least one wackadoodle gal on the scene. #DAYS
Ah… so Dr. Shaw is going to be our resident pill pusher. #DAYS
If Gabi and Stefan are telling Abe what he needs to say in the press release, why do they need Abe? #DAYS
I think Eve's job as commissioner might be in jeopardy. #DAYS
I love the technology in that mask. Not only does it make Kristen look like Nicole, but it also changes her voice to Nicole's
What in the hell is the big deal with Haley over telling JJ what really happened? #DAYS
Jack to Jennifer: "Are you and Dr. Shaw picking up where you left off?" Translation: "How close are you to hopping into bed with him?" #DAYS
Hattie and Marlena, Bonnie and Adrienne, Kristen and Susan. Salem seems to be the home of the doppelgangers. A whole gang of dopples, you might say. #DAYS
Rex: "Why do you need to reassure me there is nothing going on between you and Eric." Probably because there is something going on between her and Eric. #DAYS
Kristen to Susan: "If you pull that trigger, the gun will go off." That deep level of technical knowledge about firearms takes years of training. #DAYS
Right out of the starting blocks: Sarah catches Eric breaking the Ninth Commandment in an effort to keep from breaking the Seventh Commandment. #DAYS
Kristen threatens Xander. I'm pretty sure Xander can take her. Unless, of course she pulls the same move on him that Gabi pulled when she took the briefcase. One more kick like that and Xander will be singing soprano in the Vienna Boys Choir. #DAYS
Brady: "Susan has severe memory loss because she was tugging at my towel earlier." Will: "You weren't wearing a towel. She was tugging at something else down there." #DAYS
Hope, devastated by her divorce, eases the pain by slobbering all over Ted the minute he walks in. #DAYS
If Brady got it on with Susan who is really Kristen, would that technically be a threesome? #DAYS
Ciara: "I'll leave you two to… whatever…" Resume sucking face? #DAYS
Kristen/Nicole/Susan: "Surprises are what makes the world go 'round." Did she say "surprises" or "disguises?" #DAYS
Jack swears if he gets his memory back it won't change things with Eve. True. No matter what happens it will still be a contrived marriage of convenience between two ratfinks. #DAYS
Scenes we'd like to see… Xander: "Unless Kate walks through that door right now..." Kate walks through the door. Now that would be interesting. #DAYS
If Kate kills ted at least she'll have something to eat in there. #Ewwwwww… #DAYS
Eve threatens to sue Hope for defamation. Protip: If you're going to sue someone for defamation, don't do it based on a private conversation. #DAYS
Stefan fires Kristen/Nicole. Don't flip your wig, K/N, that would reveal your true identity. #DAYS
Nicole to Abe: "Are you blind?" Abe: "No. I was, but now I have Zack's eyes." #DAYS
Gabi: "I think I've proven I can handle anything." She's proven she can handle Stefan... if you catch my drift. #DAYS
Ciara sports a new fashion trend sweeping Salem. And, hey kids, what makes it so avant-garde — That's real poop up there! #DAYS
Gabi: "I'm not trying to destroy Stefan." No but your strategy is to bang him into the poor house. #DAYS
Ciara runs through a litany of excuses to justify Claire trying to kill her. Makes sense to me. #DAYS
Ciara looks like she's wearing the poop emoji on top of her head. #DAYS
Victor seems particularly crusty today. That's when he's at his best. #DAYS
It's amazing that Ciara can balance that football on her head. #DAYS
Victor: "I can have the Titan jet gassed in an hour and get Claire out of the country." Who does he think he is,
Claire to Ben: "You're one of the good guys." Yeah, right along with Ted Bundy, Aileen Wornos and the Son of Sam." #DAYS
Sarah and Eric nearly kiss. Hey, you can't expect Sarah to remember wedding vows she took nearly half a week ago. #DAYS
Kate: "Kristen may be a DiMera but I've been married to two of them." At last count. #DAYS
Eric: "Sarah came in here to help me feel better." If Marlena hadn't interrupted Sarah was well on her way to doing that. #DAYS
Gabi: "Do you think Nicole has multiple personalities?" Yes, there's that and she's also two-faced. #DAYS
Just to recap, this is a scene between fake Nicole and real Gabi, as opposed to last year's scenes with fake Gabby and real Nicole. This show is sooooo complex. #DAYS
Nicole: "This was not what father wanted." Oops. A major sip of the tongue. At least she didn't say revolutionary armies had airports. #DAYS
If Rex gives Chloe that necklace, he might as well bang Mimi again because it would have the same result with Sarah. #DAYS
If Kate would take a champagne shower like Ted and then get it on with him, Xander would find them stuck together the next time he comes in. #DAYS
Shawn sees a red stain on the floor, puts two and two together, gets five and figures someone spilled the ketchup. #DAYS
Claire rants: "You're making it out like I'm some psycho," says the certified psycho. #DAYS
Shawn's attitude about wacko Claire's antics is typical of parents today: defend the little brats no matter what they've done. #DAYS
Kayla: "What does Xander have to do with anything." For one thing, he has sampled the Sarah Smörgåsbord and wants to come back for seconds. #DAYS
Ciara to Claire: "You need to stop this before you go too far." That ship has sailed. #DAYS
Claire to Ciara: "YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!" Well, she did a great job of it. #DAYS
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