Saturday, December 29, 2012

A Compromising Position

The writers left us with a real cliffhanger on Friday.  John had just walked in on Kristin and Brady in a compromising position.  Translation: Brady wanted to romp before the New Year's party, Kristin wanted to romp after, so they compromised and decided to do both.  Anyway, the poor viewers were left on the edge of their seats, so we thought you'd like to see what happened next...

Friday, December 28, 2012


Daniel's diagnosis is that Jennifer isn't sick.  Diagnose me, Daniel. You'll find I'm sick of you and Jennifer. #DAYS
OH NO, NOT THE OLD DART GAME CHALLENGE AGAIN. Darts... on #DOOL otherwise known as foreplay. #DAYS
Great Marlena and Kristin scenes today. #DOOL wishes its ratings were as high as their combined ages. #DAYS

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Bat Signal

If Jennifer thinks waiting 3 hours for a date is excruciating, she should try 1 hour of watching #DAYS
Jennifer says she wants to keep things low key with Daniel. The key being Jennifer is about as low as Daniel can go. #DAYS
Daniel moans about it being two years since he lost Parker.  And in that time he hasn't mentioned him once. #DAYS
Not that Sami's lipstick is way bright, but if there's trouble in Salem tonight, she could send up the Bat Signal. #DAYS

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Flushed Himself Into The Sewer

It's Christmas. Over at the Salem Inn Brady bellows, "HO-HO-HO." Kristin: "You only have to call me once. I'll answer." #DAYS
There are only 2 ways Brady could have gotten out of Kristin's bathroom: Out the window or flushed himself into the sewer system. #DAYS
Jennifer agrees to read the Christmas Story and opens the Bible, a book which she oft-times thinks of as her autobiography. #DAYS
Victor plays Santa. I'm surprised instead of giving the kids presents he doesn't take the ones they already got. #DAYS

Monday, December 24, 2012

Lead Us Not Into Temptation

Nicole rushes into Eric's bedroom. I guess God didn't hear him pray, "lead us not into temptation." #DAYS
Awww... Johnny shares his penguin. Just like EJ and Rafe have been known to share Johnny's mom. #DAYS
Whoever wrote Jack's lame back-from-Afghanistan story must be the same guy who wrote Eric's lame back-from-Africa story. #DAYS
Cameron: "I'm down if you're down." Chad: "I'm down." Must be a new form of Down Syndrome." #DAYS

Friday, December 21, 2012

A Bad Spouse

I've got a pair of underwear that aren't as short as Nicole's skirt. #DAYS
Sonny wonders why Will couldn't be honest with him.  Because that would require being honest. #DAYS
Eric says the hospital called for a priest 2 nights in a row. A priest is probably better at saving the patients than their doctors. #DAYS
Marlena counsels Gabi to be cautious about choosing a bad spouse. Where was that kind of counseling for Roman when he needed it? #DAYS

Thursday, December 20, 2012

The "Eyeful" Tower

Kristin and Brady munch and slobber on each other as Jennifer stands at the door like the "eyeful" tower. #DAYS
Jennifer stopped by to see how Kristin is doing. She not only found out how, but what. #DAYS
Hope says she can't wait to see Claire. Neither can I. I'm guessing she's been SORASed to about 45 by now. #DAYS
We're thrilled about the equality on #DOOL. It portrays gays as being just as obtuse and immature as straights. #DAYS

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Booty Call!

Lucas says this is a "Ho-Ho-Ho" moment.  No. It would be a "Ho-Ho-Ho" moment if Kate, Nicole and Kristin were standing there. #DAYS
Lucas vs. Jennifer. You have just witnessed an official holier-than-thou smackdown. #DAYS
The way that gal caresses the Versace bottle in the commercial, she acts like it's her new sex toy. #DAYS
Kristin phones Brady: "I need to see you... right now." BOOTY CALL!  #DAYS
Daniel says Jen could do a lot better than him. And he could certainly do a lot better than her, so it must be a match made in heaven. #DAYS

Monday, December 17, 2012

Hey, Edith, Bring Me A Beer!

The only one minding their own business at Hope, Rafe, Sami and Gabi's table is the cockroach crawling across the tablecloth. #DAYS
When Nick said they had to tell the truth, if you thought he was going to say Will is the father, you flunk #DOOL 101. #DAYS
Jen has Abs waiting on her. Yells for her to bring tea and toast. It's the #DOOL equivalent of, "HEY, EDITH, BRING ME A BEER!" #DAYS
Sonny says Gabi keeps dragging Will into her baby drama. Actually, Will dragged the baby drama into Gabi. #DAYS
Sami wants to focus on the wedding. What would she focus on if she knew she's about to become Sami the Granny? #DAYS
Sami says she found Rafe by following the steam coming out of his ears. Now there must be nothing in there. #DAYS

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Daniel's Miracle

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Dog Poo In A Salad Spinner

What I got out of today's show was the same as if you'd put dog poo in a salad spinner and rev it up. #DAYS
Dr. Lewis says he thinks med school was worth it. I wonder if Kayla thinks sending in the matchbook for her degree was worth it. #DAYS
John wonders why Brady is giving Kristin expensive gifts.  Because cash is so tacky. #DAYS
Kristin says John is a man of few words.  It's hard to talk with your foot in your mouth. #DAYS
John tells Brady to keep an eye on Kristin.  Brady immediately runs to her and keeps a couple hands on her at no extra charge. #DAYS

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

An Hour Of Fun, A Lifetime Of Valtrex

Brady & Kristin get it on at the Salem Inn. Ahhh... the good ole Salem Inn. An hour of fun, a lifetime of Valtrex. #DAYS
Pre-Cana Counseling: Where a priest instructs you on how to do something he can't do and you're already doing. #DAYS
You just knew... YOU JUST KNEW Brady would leave that envelope with Kristin's name lying around, didn't you? #DAYS
John bends over Marlena, gets in her face and says, "Talk to me." All he was missing was the bare swinging light bulb. #DAYS

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A Druid Mud-Slinging Ceremony

The ferry wasn't there. Nicole got the antibiotics off the Smith Island antibiotic tree. #DAYS
Daniel's hands have stopped shaking.  It's the patented, predictable #DOOL miracle cure. #DAYS
Excuse me, Sami, but this is Gabi's wedding. If she wants a Druid mud-slinging ceremony, she gets to choose, not you. #DAYS
Sami says Gabi is about to go into full baby all the time mode. Or, like Sami, full babysitter all the time. #DAYS
Rafe: "I trust you." Sami: "Not when it matters most." OUCH! #DAYS

Monday, December 10, 2012

Rafe Comes Panting

Sami summons Rafe and Rafe drops everything and comes panting... uh... I mean running. #DAYS
Gabi asks if Nick is ready to be committed to her. If you ask me he's just ready to be committed, period. #DAYS
Sonny gallantly tosses his scarf around chilly Will's neck. Next I expected him to lay his coat over a mud puddle for him. #DAYS
Sami thinks Gabi & Nick will be happy because they're super cute together. Right, cuteness, that's all it takes. #DAYS
Nick: "Under the right conditions carbon becomes a diamond." Yeah, well, under the right conditions it also becomes coal. #DAYS

Friday, December 07, 2012

Two Wackadoodle Women

My eyes just light up whenever I see Jennifer on screen. Eyes lighting up... that's the first sign of a stroke. #DAYS
Ciara prays for "us sinners."  Kind of ironic coming from the only non-sinner in town. #DAYS
Marlena says Brady and Kristin are "lovers." Translation: They tolerate each other during monkey sex.#Days
Poor Daniel. Two wackadoodle women followed him to the middle of nowhere. #DAYS

Thursday, December 06, 2012

The Soup Nazi

Judging by the scenes in his bedroom Father Eric needs to exorcise himself. #DAYS
With his heavy five-o'clock shadow, put a mustache on him and Daniel looks like Seinfeld's Soup Nazi. "NO SURGERY FOR YOU TODAY!" #DAYS
Brady asks Marlena: "Brady's what?" Brady's nailing Kristin, hammering Kristin, screwing Kristin, every metaphor in the tool box. #DAYS
Jennifer claims Daniel has no idea how she feels. I do. She feels... sorry for herself. #DAYS

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Moaning And Writhing

Marlena stands at the door, hears moaning & writhing & what does she do? Heads in for the show, of course. #PeskyDoorWasInTheWay #DAYS
And what does Kristin do when Marlena busts in? Ramps up the performance, of course. #LocksAreForWimps #DAYS
Yeah, tell the world the baby is Nick's. There's a secret that couldn't possibly get out... for at least a week. #DAYS
EJ: "It helps to be able to complete each other's thoughts." Rafe: "Guess what I'm thinking." Good one, Rafe. #DAYS

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Brady Is The New Black

Kristin tells Brady they made a mistake. Just as Will & Gabi decided it was a mistake. Notice it's always a mistake AFTER they do it. #DAYS
Marlena tells Kate a different man might have appreciated her. A different man is what broke up her marriage. #DAYS
Kristin says she wasn't going to act on her feelings because of John. Guess what, Kristin, it looks like Brady is the new Black. #DAYS
Gabi assures Rafe he knows everything now. That should be his first clue he doesn't know everything. #DAYS

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