Saturday, May 31, 2008

The Further Adventures Of Shawn And Belle

Make it a great weekend, gang. See ya Monday.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Rain Man

Lucas messes with Allie as Sami rushes around. Little Johnny won't stop crying and Sami is convinced the only person who can calm him down is EJ.

Meanwhile, back at Chez Rouge, EJ swings Nicole around. "Oh, counselor," says Nicole, "you have some great moves. You're a lot more fun without Sami." EJ puts her down and decides he's hungry. He goes to order sushi. Nicole sighs, "EJ, I really could be falling for you."

Bo and Hope dance. Hope tells him to slow down, "I don't want you to overexert your self."

"I'm saving that for later," says Bo.

"In that case," says Hope, "I'd rather have you go ahead and overexert yourself now."

Abe grills John and asks if he doesn't want his attorney present during the questioning. John thinks his attorney isn't needed because he is innocent. He insists he has been framed. Roman walks in. Abe tells him John is stonewalling. An officer walks in and gives Abe a file. Abe slams it down on the desk, "Take a look John."

John asks, "What is it?"

Abe says, "It's today's script. I thought you might like to see it before I take it to the incinerator."

Phillip and Chloe come into his room. She wonders what was going on with EJ and Nicole. Phillip says he doesn't have a clue. He also doesn't know what was going on with EJ and Nicole. Chloe thinks Nicole is after Phillip. Phillip remembers his dart game with Morgan.

Chloe snaps him out of it, "You seem kind of quiet. What are you thinking about?"

"Trust me," says Phillip, "You don't want to know."

Morgan has arrived a t Chez Rouge. She gets a call. Stephanie tells her Max and she had to leave the party. She makes excuses as Max broods in the background. They are at Steve and Kayla's new place waiting for them to come back. Morgan thinks the party is over anyway. Stephanie hangs up and tells Max she didn't feel good lying to her friend. Stephanie wants to know what's going on. "What's going on," says Max, "is you keep asking me what's going on."

Chloe starts to leave. Phillip stops her. He asks her to stay. Chloe isn't sure. He reminds her she is divorced and asks if she's changed her mind about having fun. He moves in and does some convincing.

Lucas thinks Johnny should be able to do without EJ for one night. Sami tells him about a song EJ sings to calm Johnny down. Lucas offers to sing it. There is a logjam at the doors as the audience tries to escape. Sami doesn't know if Lucas can be as effective as EJ, but she goes to get Johnny.

EJ and Nicole keep it up. Salt, shot, lemon. Kiss. Nicole thinks EJ is more fun that he looks. EJ thinks Nicole is smarter than she lets on. EJ says when the time is right he has a bombshell to drop, "I just found out Samantha and I are still married. The annulment is null and void because we had marital relations. I think this will make Sami happy." He leans in and tells her the annulment is actually valid, "But that's my little secret."

Morgan bumps into her dad. He says he's there to celebrate. The grand jury hands down its decision tomorrow and he thinks it will find there is no reason to bring charges against him. Morgan asks about the most recent incident at the docks. Paul says he's not concerned about that because it has nothing to do with him.

Bo and Hope dance and banter. Hope says she almost lost him and can't stop thinking about how lucky she is to have him, especially when it's time to take out the trash and mow the yard. Bo thinks they need to make the most of every moment.

Abe and Roman grill John about the contents of his ship. Abe thinks John was counting on Paul to clear the crates, even though the manifest was wrong, but Paul got bounced. Roman thinks John is looking guiltier by the second.

Lucas bounces Johnny around and plays like he's a bumbling, babbling man from mars. It's not much of a stretch. That doesn't work so Lucas tries a song. Johnny finally settles down, just to get Lucas to stop singing. Sami is amazed Lucas did it. Lucas does his best Elvis, "Thank-you. Thank-you-very-much."

"Keep your day job," says Johnny.

But I don't have a day job," says Lucas.

"You're still better off," says Johnny.

EJ and Nicole share more booze and kisses. Nicole does a recap of EJ's plan, "As of now Sami thinks the marriage is annulled. But when the time is right you are going to tell her you are still married. It will be a lie, but you think it should work." Nicole wonders if it will backfire.

EJ says he wouldn't be telling Nicole this if he were sober, "It's a secret." Nicole says he is right not to trust her.

Morgan tells Paul she heard rumors about the drug bust.

Phillip... Chloe... body parts... lust.

Salsa music plays. That's where Bo draws the line. He doesn't want to try any of that hip gyration stuff. Hope plays him, "I guess you're not up to the challenge." That's all it takes. Bo and Hope salsa. Make sure you have fresh batteries in your zapper for this.

John insists someone doctored the manifest. He thinks if he were the ultra-moral old John they wouldn't even be questioning him right now, "Phillip is behind this."

Chloe thinks Victor won't stand for this kind of hanky-panky when he gets back from his trip. Phillip says he can handle Victor. Chloe decides to leave, "Sex with no strings means not spending the night." As she grabs her robe the disc drops off the desk. "That's OK," says Phillip, "Just leave it."

Chloe looks it over, "What is it?"

Phillip says, "I thought it was one of your Menudo CDs."

Phillip puts the disc away and asks if Chloe is hungry. Chloe pouts because Phillip won't tell her what is on the disc. He brushes it off and goes to get something to eat. Chloe leaves.

John declares the inquisition finished. Abe tells him he is due in court for his arraignment. Roman calls Gonzalez in to take John there.

Abe asks Roman if he believes John. "No," says Roman.

Abe sighs, "Neither do I."

Bo and Hope end their dance with Bo twirling Hope into his arms and sliding on in to a pancreas-busting dip. Hope gets up and yells, "HOLY MACKEREL, ANDY!" Hmmm... Apparently Amos 'n Andy references aren't as verboten as the seven deadly words you can't say on TV.

They share small talk about how amazing each other is and then notice Paul is there. Bo decides to have a little chat with him. They go over, but Paul is interrupted by a call. Phillip says, "You know why I'm calling."

"I have a pretty good idea," says Paul. He tells Phillip he can't talk, and goes back and tells Bo it was an old friend. Bo asks him about John's bogus shipment. Paul says he'll look into it when he's reinstated – He's confident the grand jury will drop the charges. Bo and Hope leave, thinking Paul knows a lot more than he's letting on. "Poor Morgan," says Hope.

Nicole and EJ continue to become more plastered, if that's possible without just passing out. Nicole tells EJ his secrets are safe with her, "If it doesn't work out with Sami there are other women out there." EJ thinks he and Sami are meant to be together. Nicole asks, "Don't you think Lucas feels the same way."

"No," says EJ, "I don't think he loves me. "

"I meant about Sami," says Nicole.

"Lucas is a boy," says EJ, "He doesn't know how to look after a woman. He put a bullet in my back like a coward. I haven't forgotten about that. I told Sami I forgave him just to woo her."

Nicole asks, "Do you think you can find real love by plotting and planning?"

"You do," says EJ. Nicole agrees. All she wants is a big divorce settlement.

Sami and Lucas come downstairs, but a crying baby stops them in their tracks. Lucas goes back up. Sami gets a call. It's Maggie. Sami asks, "He's what? Wait! I'm sorry. EJ may be making a scene but he's not my husband and it's not my problem." Sami hangs up.

Maggie stares at the phone. "She didn't say thank you. Oh, well. I've always known being the town gossip was a thankless job."

Sami grabs her coat and heads for Chez Rouge to rescue EJ.

John comes back from his arraignment and says he plead not guilty because he isn't guilty. Abe and Roman tell him Marlena paid his bail. He's a free man. John leaves.

Max tells Stephanie, "I'm really good with numbers in this freaky Rain Man kind of way." He says he loves her and wants to make her happy, "Is that enough for you?"

Sami rushes into Chez Rouge, finds EJ and tries to convince him to leave. EJ reminds her he's a single man and can do what he wants. Sami says she cares and doesn't want Johnny's father embarrassing himself. Nicole accuses her of being jealous. Sami holds EJ's face and looks into his eyes, "Please come with me." EJ tries to grab one more drink as they walk off.

Nicole sits alone, "Dammit Sami! Now who's gonna pay for all this?"

Chloe comes back and asks if Phillip was talking to someone. He says no.

John busts into the mansion, "Hey kids! Daddy's home! I'm out thanks to my lovely wife." No one is there except Lucas. "Do you know where Marlena is," asks John.

"I don't even know where Sami is," says Lucas. John goes upstairs.

Stephanie tells Max she loves him for whomever or whatever he is, "When you want to talk, I'm here. Just don't take too long.

Chloe is concerned Phillip is involved in something that could get out of hand. Phillip tells her not to worry.

Nicole says to herself, "Sami, you can't have it both ways. Maybe I should tell you what EJ is up to."

Sami drags EJ in. Lucas snorts, "This is the second time you have acted like a jealous wife since he I have been home." EJ promises to stop acting like a jealous wife.

John comes downstairs and says he found a note upstairs, "She's gone. She's left me."

"It happens," says EJ. He chuckles.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

They're Not In Love – They're In Heat

Bo and Hope are at Chez Rouge. Bo wonders why Max took off so quickly.

Stephanie is at the pub with Max grilling him about the same thing. "I wanna know why you ran out of Chez Rouge when we were toasting Nick."

Max says, "I don't like the smell of burning flesh."

John paces and hyperventilates. Abe comes in and asks if John is ready to come clean. He tells John they have proof. John insists he was set up. "Is there anything else you wanna say," asks Abe.

"Yes there is," snorts John, "Go to hell."

"It'd be a mighty familiar place after living in Salem," says Abe.

Marlena remembers telling John she thinks Old John is coming back to her. The doorbell rings. No Rolf – so Marlena answers. She stares into the black of night, "What are you doing here?"

A beam of light shines onto St. Ava, "Are you Dr. Marlena Evans?"

"No," says Marlena, "I'm Dr. Marlena - Evans - Craig - Bradford - Brady - Black - North - Black - DiMera." Ava says EJ referred her. Marlena reluctantly lets her in.

Ava tells Marlena, "EJ said that you're a really great psychiatrist, and I could use someone to talk to."

Hope comes back to Bo after making a phone call. She went to check on Ciara, but couldn't remember the number for her dorm room at Salem U. She also says it's still touch and go with L'il Joe. Bo makes a suggestion, "I think we should stop by the hospital and visit."

Hope gasps, "Are you in my head?"

"There is certainly enough room for me up there," says Bo.

"I was just thinking the same thing," says Hope, "Great minds think alike."

"Apparently, so do defective ones," says Bo.

"Anyway," says Hope, "Kayla doesn't us to come and visit. She's already too far back on the waiting list of people who can see Joe." They decide to stay as Kate and Roman walk up.

Bo says, "Well... Look what the cat dragged in. No offense, Kate."

"None taken," says Kate, "I hear it all the time." They all decide to team up for dinner. Kate is soooo enthusiastic. They share small talk about L'il Joe and Kate's involvement with Vitali.

In another area of the restaurant, Maggie squeals when she sees Anna's ring. Anna rambles, "We've just come back from Bora-Bora."

"That sounds like it could be another name for Salem," says Maggie, "Only I think you would pronounce it Boring-Boring."

Abe says there is a lot of evidence against John. John says if his case ever goes to trial Abe's whole department will regret it, "I'm innocent and the guy who did this is still out there. So I have to admonish you, Commissioner. You go out there and do your job. Catch the bad guy."

"The SPD isn't very good at that," says Abe. He leaves. John remembers his arrest.

Marlena suggests Ava call her office. Ava says she needs to talk now.

Ava says, "I realize I shouldn't have come without calling, but I'm desperate."

"You must be if you came to me," says Marlena.

"I have no one else to talk to," says Ava. Marlena invites her in, but says she's not sure she's the right person to help her, "Bo, Hope, Patch and Kayla are dear friends of mine. OMB was my father in law at least once or twice, I can't remember for sure." But St. Marlena decides she can see St. Ava, so she tells her to sit down.

Ava tells her she was drugged when she did all those terrible things. She says she has Kayla to thank for getting the help she needed, "My father paid my psychiatrist to make me crazy."

"That's terrible," says Marlena, "As a professional psychiatrist I would never do anything like that. I have make my patients pay me themselves to make them crazy."

"Thank God they're both dead," says Ava, "It's hard to trust shrinks any more. EJ said I could trust you." Ava says she feels bad about doing those things even though she was drugged. Marlena says, "Admitting that is the first step to recovery. You can get past what you have done if you want to."

Max says he left because he wasn't dressed for Chez Rouge. Stephanie wonders if he left because he was angry, or jealous of Nick. Max denies that it was either.

Tony and Anna have joined Kate, Roman, Bo and Hope for chuckles, chatter, honeymoon and transplant talk. Roman says he was always sure Bo and Chelsea would pull through, "We're Bradys. We take a lickin' and keep on tickin'."

"We know that," says Anna, "It's what makes you tick that puzzles us." Anna asks if Kate and Roman are back together.

Marlena says Ava has to take responsibility. Ava insists she has. Marlena suggests counseling. She can't do it though, because she couldn’t stay objective or competent. Marlena says she believes her, "What Martino did was inexcusable. But now you are clean and Martino is dead." Ava knows Martino loved her but can't come to grips with what he did. Marlena says she may never get closure, but she is free and can live her life as she chooses.

"The worst part about starting over," says Ava, "is I don't even know who I am."

"There's a lot of that going around," says Marlena.

Speaking of not knowing who you are, John paces around his cell. He sits. He paces. Sit. Pace. Sit. Pace. Sit. Pace. Sit. Pace. Sit. Pace.

Stephanie and Max supply yet another zapping opportunity.

Roman and Kate giggle and say they are just catching up on old itmes, "Where were we," asks Kate, "Oh, yes, you had just been slashed to death and I was upset because my wedding dress got messed up."

Hope tells them about Maggie's green certification. Bo tells them they're painting their house green, "We got a really great deal on some lead-based paint."

Anna says, "That's a great idea – we should renovate."

"I think we should find a place to live, first," says Tony.

Ava says, "Since he left me, I ate drank breathed Patch."

Marlena asks, "Are you sure it was the drugs that drove you nuts?"

"Now I realize I may not love him anymore," says Ava, "I only loved him when I was drugged."

"That explains it," says Marlena.

"My reason for living is gone," says Ava.

"You've already found the best way to move on," says Marlena, "You've decided to stop living in the past."

"What should I do," asks Ava.

"You could try living in the future," says Marlena.

"What about the present," asks Ava.

"Oh, you shouldn't have," says Marlena.

"I may go to jail."

"Get into therapy with an experienced person and you will find what you are looking for," says Marlena.

"Ava thinks it over, "So they have really, really good psychiatrists in the state prison system, right? Wow EJ was right. You really are good."

Marlena says she will give her the phone number of a friend. "Oh, you've done far too much already," says St. Ava, "I'll call your office in the morning. I know how strenuous it would be for you to write down a phone number." She leaves.

Max insists he's not a genius, just incredibly smart. "It's possible," says Stephanie, "I've heard of people like that. I think they call them Idiot Savants." Max says it was blind luck that he was able to change the proposal. Stephanie wants to know how he learned this kind of stuff.

Max says he has always been good at numbers, "My favorite combination is 36-23-34." Stephanie wants to know what's going on.

Anna says, "I wanted to go scuba diving, but only if Tony got rid of all the sharks."

"I threw her in anyway," says Tony, "She scared the hell out of those poor sharks."

Tony and Anna get up to dance. Roman kicks Bo under the table. Bo jumps, "OW!" Roman kicks again. Bo jumps and asks, "OW! WHAT?" Roman gives him the international guy-sign to scram. Bo turns and asks Hope to dance.

"I thought you would never ask," says Hope. As the two of them leave the table Hope says, "So subtle."

Kate tells Roman she can't believe how Tony and Anna were all over each other. "They're in love," says Roman.

Kate scoffs, "They're not in love – They're in heat."

Tony and Anna dance and talk. They think there is something going on between Roman and Kate. Tony says, "I can't believe you thought I was seeing Kate." Anna wonders if she was wrong about that.

Roman and Kate are up dancing with Bo and Hope. They get together and chuckle and make bets about how long Tony and Anna's marriage will last.

John seethes and paces. Marlena comes in to see him. John gets snotty, "What – are you back for an encore?" He makes two fists and sticks out his arms, "Which arm do you want. Marlena says she sedated him because he might get hurt. "Good job, Blondie," snorts John, "Almost sounded sincere." He wonders why she is there. She thought he might want to confess something.

John says, "You do think I'm guilty."

Marlena asks if he did it. John denies. He says he's been set up. He knows Phillip did it. Marlena is skeptical because since he came back she thinks he's acting like a criminal.

Anna asks Tony if he slept with Kate. Tony says, "Of course not. I should fling you to the floor right now and just ravage you right here."

"What would that accomplish," asks Anna.

"It would prove you're the woman for me," says Tony, "And it would be a lot more entertaining than the floor show Maggie has hired for this evening."

"Don't forget it buddy," says Anna, "You're mine."

Bo and Hope dance and banter. Bo can think of something more fun than dancing. Maggie's floor show might as well look for another place to work tonight.

Kate and Roman dance. Roman hopes Tony and Anna's marriage lasts this time. Kate is worried about Lucas. Roman doesn't think she should meddle, "Lucas can mess things up on his own."

Stephanie says she had no idea Max was such a genius at physics. Max tells Stephanie there are a lot of things she doesn't know about him yet, "You don't know my favorite movie is Scarface – the original one with Paul Muni. We just haven't totally gotten to know each other yet."

Ava walks into the pub. Stephanie goes off the deep end, "YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE!" Ava says she's just looking for a friend. Stephanie screams, "WELL... DO YOU SEE ANYONE?"

Ava shakes her head and asks how L'il Joe is doing. Stephanie tells her there is no news and orders her out again. "Tell your parents I am thinking about them," says Ava.

"I'm sure that will make them feel better," says Stephanie. Ava turns and leaves.

"That was harsh," says Max.

Stephanie's dial is still turned up to bitchmode, "I'll be harsh with you if you don't tell me the truth."

"Ooooo," says Max, "Do you promise?"

Hope asks Anna if she's going to quit and go to work for Tony. Anna smirks and chuckles.

Kate says she is through interfering in Sami and Lucas' lives, "Lucas is an adult and can make decisions on his own."

"Bad ones," says Roman.

John thinks that's a joke, "Since when is a person guilty until proven innocent?"

"Whenever he gets involved with the SPD," says Marlena. John wants to see the evidence. He asks again why she is there. Marlena says she hopes he can persuade her he is innocent. John doesn't think that's why she is there. He thinks she wants to find the Old John. Marlena doesn't know if that's possible.

"What does your gut tell you," asks John.

"That I haven't eaten yet," says Marlena. She says she really doesn't think he's guilty.

Stephanie wants to know if anyone else knows he's good at applied physics, "A good boyfriend wouldn't lie." Max don' wanna do this. He says he's getting off work and wants to go visit Patch and Kayla. He goes up to change. Stephanie frets.

Anna says she is putting her career on hold for the time being. Tony says, "I earn so she can spend." Roman and Kate think they each did well marrying the other. Bo toasts.

The guard comes to get Marlena. John takes her hands, "Thank you."

"I love you," says Marlena.

"I know," says John. Their eyes lock. Marlena backs out and leaves. John tries to hold back the tears. So does the audience. Tears of joy that yet another episode has come to a close.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Your Next Ex-Husband

Patch and Kayla have yet another angst-a-thon talking about how she just can't be away from L'il Joe. Patch tries to assure her the Spongeroo is getting the best possible care. He tells her giving her the best care is what he plans to do for her, too. "I love you for that," says Kayla, "But I won't rest until our baby is healthy and home with us." Poor Patch realizes that means he won't be resting either. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Maggie escorts Dr. Dan, Bo and Lexie into Chez Rouge. Daniel congratulates her on going green so fast, "How did you do it?"

We don't refrigerate our meat any more," says Maggie, "It turns green pretty fast. As an added benefit, so do the customers once they eat it."

Bo is going to put in photovoltaics, "I don't have a clue what they are but we're going to have them." Hope joins them. Maggie says the party is not only to celebrate the Chez Rouge greenification, but also to celebrate Nick's prototype. Daniel gets a call as Nick comes up.

Daniel barks into the phone, "I hear you, but it's gonna be a busy night." Chelsea stalks.

EJ and Nicole chat at the bar. EJ wonders why they had to leave the pub. Nicole says it's because Phillip and Chloe walked in. "So, what you're saying," says EJ, "is you don't like someone having her hands on your next ex-husband."

Nicole tells him Chloe has already slept with Phillip, "I barely warmed my way into Phillip's cold heart and she's already dong the nasty with him."

"What you have to do," says EJ, "is to change the way he sees her."

Everyone toasts Nick.

Daniel tells everyone he is there to help Nick celebrate and also to have a boys night out, "Nick's plans for alternative fuel could rock our world."

Lexie says, "I just wish I could convince him to stick around."

Chelsea says, "That would require a commitment and we all know how Daniel feels about that."

Dr. Carrington and Dr. Noname walk in. Daniel sees them, "A cold wind is blowing and it's time for me to set sail." Chelsea sulks off.

Bo comes up and asks what he missed. Hope says, "I'm not sure – we may have all missed it as well."

Chelsea and Nick talk. She says she's there as a friend. Nick tells her he almost didn't get the grant but a friend helped him out.

EJ says, "I think it is possible if I work it the right way that Samantha and I can be happy together for all the Days Of Our Lives. I got Lucas out of jail thinking he would end up in a halfway house making brooms and instead he wound up in my house." Nicole asks what he will do now. "Plan 'BA.' It stands for 'B' – I'm going to give Sami whatever she wants – including an annulment."

Nicole says, "If Sami signs the annulment papers, then it's over."

A gal in the audience shouts, "We should be so lucky!"

EJ says, "I'll tell you a secret. She has already signed the annulment papers."

Nicole asks, "What?"

Kayla wonders if L'il Joe can feel his parents aren't there. "If he's lucky," says Patch. He suggests a movie – Kayla don' wan no stinkin' movie. A book – Kayla don' wan no stinkin' book. Music. Kayla don' wan no stinkin' music. Kayla wants to go back to the hospital. Patch has an idea. He leaves. Kayla immediately sneaks out of the apartment. Patch comes back to the empty room, "Awwww, man!" He chases, "HEY!"

Patch drags Kayla back into the apartment. She insists she wasn't going back to the hospital. He calls her on it and Kayla caves. Patch says he has an idea to keep them busy. He leaves again and comes back with a box containing a cradle swing. "I think it's too small for me," says Kayla.

Lexie asks Bo to talk to the patrons about what he and Hope are doing to make their house green. He leaves and gets everyone's attention, then shows them the variety of green paint they sell at the Salem Hardware. Lexie goes into a funk and tells Hope, "At least you and your husband are communicating."

Nick asks, "Where is Max?"

Stephanie says, "I don't know."

Nick says, "He should be here. He had a lot to do with me getting my funding." Stephanie remembers Max telling her how he altered Nick's calculations. She tells Nick Max was only trying to help. "The problem is," says Nick, "he did it behind my back."

Daniel and the boys share a toast.

Nicole wonders how signing annulment papers gets Sami. EJ says he is just trying to play along. He'll be the perfect father and best friend she ever had and she'll wind up in his bed. Nicole wonders how he will pull that off.

Kayla thinks all this is too much. Steve says, "This isn't even everything. I'm the Super Patch Man. I'd do anything for you and Joe."

"Even take me to the hospital to see him," asks Kayla. They decide Kayla will read the instructions while Patch assembles. Kayla unfolds the instructions, "Uh... Super Patch Man, unless you read Swedish we have a big problem."

EJ says, "I will show Sami there is more to life than the poison dwarf. I treat Samantha like a woman while Lucas treats her like a schoolgirl. I'm going to show Samantha I'm more of an adult than Lucas."

"L'il Joe is more of an adult than Lucas," says Nicole.

Lexie says, "I might have a marriage problem."

"What's that," asks Hope.

"It might last."

Bo talks to Nick about the fact that his relationship with Chelsea crashed and burned.

Daniel and the guys share chill time. Carrington checks out Chelsea, "Would you look at that hottie."

"When did you say you go in for that eye appointment," asks Daniel.

"Next week," says Carrington.

"You'd better get in sooner," says Daniel, "It's an emergency."

Nick introduces Dean Robbins to Maggie, "He's the new head of the physics department." Maggie gets everyone's attention and introduces him to the crowd. Robbins extols Nick's virtues and presents him with the check.

Patch and Kayla work on the assembly as Kayla tries out her Swedish. Patch thinks he gets the job done in spite of the directions. They talk about Jo, who should be so proud they named their baby after her. A little-known fact is that Jo's nickname is Spongebob. Jo will be visiting soon.

"What's next," asks Kayla.

"How about this," asks Patch. He moves in.

Not on your tintype, buddy. There will be no hanky-panky with married couples on this show. Kayla backs off like a rocket in reverse gear, "Hey, buster, go back to work."

"You're a real slave driver," says the rejected, dejected Patch.

"So I've been told," says Kayla. Patch goes back to work. He runs out of the living room to get his next project. Fortunately, he left his next project in the shower with the cold water running.

Dr. Noname decides he is going to go hook up with the hot brunette. Unfortunately the hot brunette leaves, so Dr. Noname decides to hit on Chelsea instead.

Dr. Carrington says, "You know, that's his pancreas donor."

"Well at least she still has the good parts," says Dr. Noname.

"Just not enough of them," says Carrington.

The dean hauls Nick off.

Dr. Noname asks Chelsea to have a cocktail.

Lexie fills Hope in on her and Abe's marital problems.

Dean Robbins tells Bo Nick is bright. Nick says he had help with some of the formulas and shouldn't be entitled to the funding.

Patch finishes a stroller, and then decides he has to finish the swing. Kayla suggests he could have paid extra and have them put it together. Patch isn't giving up, "Just one more thing... THERE! Shall we test it?" Patch puts teddy into the seat and starts it up. Predictably, the thing falls into a billion pieces.

Kayla calls 911, "Help! I have a teddy bear crushed under a pile of plastic."

Robbins thinks it was smart of Nick to get help, "Even Einstein got a second opinion on his work."

"From a bartender," asks Nick.

Drinks come and they celebrate. Robbins offers a toast, "To Nick Fallon: Educator, innovator, cheater."

Hope tells Lexie it's OK to see a therapist. Lexie thinks Abe is getting used to the idea.

Chelsea declines the drink. The rejected Dr. Noname comes back with his tail between his legs as Daniel and Carrington guffaw and suck the limes from their drinks. Carrington piles on, "You are old enough to be her uncle." Chelsea throws a glance at Daniel and walks off.

"I don't think age has anything to do with it," says Dr. Noname, "I saw the way she was looking at Jonas."

Nicole tries to slow down EJ's drinking. EJ insists he's under control. She thinks his plan sounds boring, "I know how to make Sami jealous, you wanna hear?"

Patch tries again. He thinks he's got it. Kayla tests it. Patch runs for another surprise as Kayla tests again. Patch comes back with a stuffed giraffe. Kayla loves it and can't wait to see what he got L'il Joe. Patch also has a baby monitor with a camera, "Joe can have his own website –

Kayla does the bipolar shuffle and her mood swings back to depression, "We've got everything... EXCEPT A BAAAABBBYYYYYYYYYYY!"

The docs laugh. Chelsea watches and walks away.

"I think the patient wants to experience your bedside manner," says Dr. Noname. Carrington says he saw Chelsea follow him into the locker room the other day. Daniel insists nothing happened.

Nicole says she would make Sami jealous by having her walk in on EJ and another woman, just like Sami walked in on Sami and him. EJ plays along, "Where would we find that woman?"

"I don't know," says Nicole, "It would have to be someone who can get under Sami's skin."

"I'm flattered," says EJ.

"Nicole is shocked, "Oh, you think it's me?"

EJ chuckles, "The lady doth protest too much."

Nicole says, "OK. Who better to give Sami a taste of her own medicine?"

Bo toasts Maggie for leading the green charge. Maggie toasts Nick.

Max walks in. Stephanie greets him. Max zones. Stephanie asks, "Are you OK?"

Moody Mama broods. Patch says he thought it would help her feel better if they put all this together. He assures her L'il Joe will pull through this. Hugs, depression, despair.

EJ moves in on Nicole. He says if he wasn't in love with Sami he'd sleep with her in a heartbeat, "But it might send Sami running into Lucas' arms. She might hate you enough to hate me."

"Good," says Nicole, "Then we could be together."

"It's not gonna happen," says EJ.

Nicole sighs, "A girl can dream, can't she?" Nicole heads for the little girls room. EJ decides the evening is just getting started. He turns to the bartender and orders another round, "I'm gonna be here for a while."

Daniel gets a call. He says he has to go and will join the boys later. On his way out, he says goodbye to Bo. Chelsea watches him go. Bo stops her, "Did you see the Doc? He just took off."

Maggie goes up to Max and offers champagne. Max decides he can't stay, "Give Nick my best." Stephanie stares at Max. Max stares at Maggie. Maggie stares at Nick. Nick stares... you get the idea.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

All Boobs And Hair – No Substance

Morgan comes into the pub. Pete brings Ava a drink, "Vodka on the rocks... easy on the rocks."

Ava thanks him and asks if the pub has Wi-Fi. Pete says they do. As Pete leaves, Ava opens her computer. She picks up her drink and looks at it, "Hello, old friend."

Morgan goes over a paper she has written. She hands it to Max. Max thinks she misspelled "personnel." Morgan worries about her grade. She's already turned the paper in, so it's too late to make changes. She tells Max her professor is meeting her at the pub to discuss it at Mark and David walk in with the video equipment. Morgan wonders, "Where's Stephanie."

Stephanie wheels Kayla down to see L'il Joe. Patch joins them and says the car is out front. Kayla goes off the deep end, "I can't do it. I can't leave him." Inside the nursery L'il Joe asks the nurse to tell them to leave, "With all that blubbering, a guy can't get any sleep around here."

Marlena barks orders into a phone. EJ comes in complaining about the traffic, "Is Samantha here? I'll go up then."

Marlena says, "She's with Lucas and the twins. I wish you wouldn't go up. With three infants, she already has her hands full."

Chloe and Phillip romp. Nicole busts into the room, "Phillip, we really need to talk about... OH! That is not right."

Max tells Morgan Stephanie is with her parents. Mark and David check the lighting and start the taping. Mark recognizes Max as the big famous racecar driver, "I haven't seen you race in a while. What are you doing now?"

Helpful Pete comes up to Max and asks him if he will fill in for him tomorrow. "This is where you work," gasps Mark. Max 'splains that his family owns the bar and he is filling in. He suggests Mark concentrate on Morgan.

Mark asks Morgan about the internship. Morgan says the best part was working with such a creative genius. She also enjoyed working with Tony, who happens to be on his honeymoon right now. Max wonders how long his marriage to Anna will last, "Anna's a little high maintenance." Max decides he'd better get down to the docks and clean up after the big mess down there.

Mark can't believe Max has to do a menial job like that, "They said you were the next Jeff Gordon."

Max reminds Mark he and Jeff have won exactly the same number of races this year – zero, "Besides, is it true you 'accidentally' left your camera on in the women's locker room after their softball practice?" Mark gets the idea and backs off.

Max wonders if John is guilty. Morgan wouldn't be surprised. Max wonders if that means Morgan's dad is guilty, too.

Ava stares at her computer screen, "EJ WELLS INDICTED FOR FRAUD!" Ava remembers EJ telling her he would be her lawyer.

EJ tells Marlena he wants to go see his son. Marlena thinks EJ is pleased Lucas walked in on his romp with Sami. She thinks he hopes this will end Lucas' relationship with Sami.

Chloe tells Nicole to get out. Nicole tells Phillip, "I thought with your money you could buy somebody attractive." That does it. Chloe jumps out of bed. Nicole grimaces and tells her she should get dressed. Mommy Nicole orders Chloe to get out.

Patch and Stephanie tell Kayla they can come back later. Kayla don' wanna hear it. "We have a surprise for you at home," says Patch, "A nice little jacket with arms that tie in the back." Kayla stares at L'il Joe and zones. Patch walks off and talks to one of the medical personnel. He comes back and says they can go inside. He and Stephanie wheel Kayla in.

Kayla stands by the incubator, "Hey, little guy. Your momma's here now."

"You must be lost," says L'il Joe, "This isn't the psych ward."

Chloe and Nicole bicker. Nekkid Phillip jumps out of bed. That stops Nicole in her tracks, "What a waste! You could do so much better. Chloe is all boobs and hair – no substance." Phillip hauls Nicole out.

AS she struggles, Nicole warns him, "Call your doctor and get your shots."

EJ asks why he would have gotten Lucas out if he considered him a threat. Marlena has been wondering that herself. She asks if EJ was happy when Lucas walked in on their roll in the hay. EJ claims he wasn't. EJ insists Sami and Lucas will not get back together. Marlena thinks that will happen in time. EJ asks, "Would you give up on John?"


"Then I won't give up and Samantha either."

They all look at L'il Joe. Patch says, "Its' a good thing he looks like your Mama." Stephanie introduces herself. She promises to give him tips on how to handle Patch and Kayla. Patch is glad there is another guy around the house, "I'm tired of being surrounded by all this estrogen."

They let Kayla touch him. Kayla tells L'il Joe he gave them a big scare and he has to get better. Patch assures her L'il Joe will be coming home, "Tell her, Joe."

"Yeah," says L'il Joe, "It's probably unavoidable."

Patch wants him to be a ball player. "I want him to be a racecar driver," says Stephanie, "Then maybe someday he can be as big a failure as Max and me."

It's time to say goodbye. Kayla says, "Sweet dreams. I love you. We'll be back."

"Take your time," says L'il Joe.

EJ doesn't think Lucas will take Sami back, but he has no intention of interfering. He wants Sami to choose him of her own free will. Marlena asks if he thinks John is guilty. EJ says what he thinks doesn't matter.

Back at the pub, Ava reads about EJ's misadventures. Morgan worries. Nicole walks in and bumps into the camera guy. Ava orders a mojito. Nicole overhears the order and decides that's what she'll have, too. She sees Ava sitting there, "Hey... I lined my dog's litter box with you – I mean your picture in the newspaper. You are the mob princess, right? I hope your old man left you a big inheritance." Nicole rambles about Pookie and admires Ava's shoes. She thinks they would make a good pair and should have a girl trip to Chicago to buy shoes.

"We don't even know each other," says Ava.

We both have great taste in shoes and drinks," says Nicole, "That sounds like the start of a great friendship." Nicole sits down, "Pay for these drinks girl and let's get to know each other."

Chloe thanks Phillip for sticking up for her. "She can be a real bitch," says Phillip.

"That would explain why her best friend is a dog," says Chloe.

"She and Ava just met," says Phillip, "I don't think they're best friends yet."

Chloe likes that Phillip defended her. Phillip thinks maybe Chloe shouldn't leave. "I don't want to put you in an awkward position," says Chloe.

"Sounds like fun," says Phillip, "Are you gonna make me beg you to stay?" He takes a knee and begs. Chloe agrees to stay for now. Phillip thinks this calls for something special. Chloe likes the way he thinks. Round three.

Nicole checks out Pete's butt. She would like to indulge, but will wait until her divorce is final. Ava guesses Nicole is married to Victor since she introduced herself as a Kiriakis. Ava says she's not married. She was supposed to get married to Patch, but he jilted her.

"All men are scum," says Nicole. She gives Pete's butt another glance, "Except the cute ones, of course." Ava and Nicole decide to make up for lost time together.

Stephanie and Patch guide blindfolded Kayla through a hallway. They open a door and welcome Kayla to her new fully decorated apartment.

Patch gives her the tour. The place has everything. It's a good thing Kayla actually earns a paycheck so they can afford it. Stephanie picked out the couch. She says she talked Patch out of getting a big ugly leather one with cup holders in the arms. She also talked him out of a pool table. Patch says the bearskin rug from Saskatchewan will arrive later this week, "I'm just kidding. I'm going to have the bear delivered and skin it myself. Can I at least hang my Chicago Bears pennant?"

"Sure," says Kayla, "The way they played last season they need all the support they can get."

Stephanie gets a text message. She remembers she's supposed to be at the pub, and leaves.

"OK," says Patch, "She's gone. Let's have the locks changed."

Kayla thinks the place is perfect, "It will be a great place to have my breakdown."

Ava finishes another drink as she fills Nicole in on her drug situation. Ava tells Nicole she hasn't dated anyone since Patch.

Nicole gasps, "It's been that long since you... you know... don't you get urges?"

"Only for Patch."

"I bet we can find you a guy with two good eyes," says Nicole, "I can be your wing woman. You are a real stud magnet. Speaking of studs here comes one right now."

EJ walks up. Nicole introduces him. What a coincidence, Ava tells Nicole EJ is her lawyer too.

Marlena comes in to see Roman. She says she's there to talk about Sami. However, they talk about John. Roman says the John Black she fell in love with is not coming back and it's time she accepted that.

Marlena believes he is coming back. Roman asks if she wants to waste her life chasing a fantasy. Marlena can't give up. She thinks there is something on the disc that will give John what he needs. Roman reminds her of the little drug problem on John's ship. Marlena thinks the drugs were planted.

The conversation moves to Sami. "What did she do now," asks Roman.

"How much time do you have," asks Marlena.

Nicole and Ava tell EJ they go way back. How they met is one of their many secrets. EJ joins them because they are beautiful and drunk. One out of two ain't bad.

Professor DiCarlo tells Morgan she has nothing to worry about. Mark talks about his script for the Salem film festival. Stephanie runs in and apologies for being late. Morgan notices Nick's picture on the front page of the school paper. Max scowls. "The guy is going places," says DiCarlo, "And so are the two of you. If you keep up this level of work you'll be on the fast track to successful careers." Max stares.

DiCarlo still has to get forms from their supervisors but he thinks their work has paid off. Max steps up and meets the professor. Stephanie shows him her grade. She senses something is wrong and takes Max aside to talk. She asks if he's coming to the big dinner in Nick's honor. Max dunno. Stephanie asks him to come. She says the dinner is as much for Max as Nick.

Nicole asks about her divorce case. EJ says he has a preliminary hearing date set up. Nicole leaves. EJ tells Ava he has set up a plea bargain meeting with the DA. Ava feels bad about what happened. EJ thinks the DA will be receptive because Ava was drugged when she did all those nasty things.

Phillip and Chloe walk in. Morgan watches.

Roman is shocked, "Oh man... Sleeping with EJ." Marlena tells him to go easy on her. He wonders if Lucas will take her back. Marlena is sure EJ will not give up on Sami.

"How does this girl get into situations like this," asks Roman.

"Bad parenting," says Marlena. She wonders if Sami will lose both EJ and Lucas.

Patch asks about dinner. Kayla isn't hungry. She wants to get back to the hospital. Patch says they will go after they eat. He wants her to take it easy. He sits her down. He wants the first night in their new home to be special. Kayla thinks it will never be home without their baby.

Patch reassures her, "He'll be here soon. And then we can ship him off to the baby sitter of our choice and ignore him for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Gomer Pyle, here. I am just PLEASED AS PUNCH to announce that I have admitted Kayla Johnson, Lucas Horton and Nicole Kiriakis as the latest members of my exclusive Sa-PRISE Sa-PRISE Sa-PRISE Club.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Monday, May 26, 2008

My Favorite Kind Of Mistake

Everything is blurred. We feel disoriented... dizziness... Now that we've confirmed we're watching DOOL, we hear Marlena say, "John... Can you hear me? Open your eyes."

"Where am I," asks John.

"You're on the Days Of Our Lives set," says Marlena.

"Drug me again," says John.

John looks down and sees that he's handcuffed. His disorientation begins to fade and John ain't happy. Sami walks into the room and soaks it all in. Marlena fills her in on the situation. John has a meltdown. EJ walks into the nuclear event and asks, "Somebody need a lawyer? Or should I call Mickey? "

Daniel comes into the pub to see Bo, "You didn't say why you wanted to see me. This is about Chelsea, isn't it?"

Bo says, "No. If I want medical advice about her, I'll call her pediatrician."

Ava arrives at the cop shop to sign papers about the release of her father's body. Chelsea walks up to her, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Ava asks, "What's your problem?"

Chelsea yells, "My problem is you, bitch! Until you showed up I had the record for the smallest boobs in town.".

Chloe knocks at Phillip's door. She apologizes for giving him a hard time earlier and says she was jealous when he was with Morgan, but knows their arrangement was just FWB, "I'm impressed with the bionic man you've become... but I came to say goodbye, Phillip. I'm leaving Salem."

Chloe says she has no plans to come back. Phillip tries to subdue his joy, but suddenly remembers the "benefits" part of their arrangement. He stops her from going and dives in.

Ava snorts, "Who the hell are you and what is your problem?"

Chelsea introduces herself as Bo and Hope's daughter. "Oh, I see," says Ava, "The problem isn't yours, it's theirs."

Chelsea lectures Ava for her long list of sins... kidnapping, murder, romping around with Patch, wackophrenia, aiding and abetting in the perpetration of second-rate drama... St. Ava softens. She agrees what she did is inexcusable but isn't going there. Chelsea tells her to stay the hell away from her family.

Bo says, "I want to make the pub eco-friendly and I understand you've done the same thing with the hospital."

"That's right," says Daniel, "You can't hear a single echo in the place." Maggie and Nick stand there like two bumps on a log. Bo points out Maggie has already done the same thing with Chez Rouge. Nick wants to hear Daniel's ideas.

John has a meltdown. EJ goes into lawyer mode. John tells him everything Roman did to provoke him. Sami sticks up for John. John tugs at his handcuffs and looks up at EJ, "Get me out of these. Double the billing."

"If you hit a police officer," says EJ, "My options are limited. Thank God you hit Roman instead." Roman hauls John off. Sami begs EJ to help him. EJ agrees.

Later, Lucas comes in and asks where everyone went. "Don't ask," says Sami. Lucas has been spending time with Allie. He asks about the shouting he heard. Sami fills him in. Lucas is shocked, "John Black involved with drugs? What else is new? I think the new John is capable of anything." Sami thinks the new John is more tolerant and non-judgmental.

Speaking of being non-judgmental, Sami asks for Lucas' forgiveness. EJ stands outside as Sami swears she isn't in love with EJ.

Ava stops Chelsea and says she admires what she did for Bo. Abe comes up with the papers to claim Martino's body, "Take these to the pub and they will give you anything that hasn't already been ground up."

"What do I do then," says Ava, "get a shovel and bury the SOB myself?"

"No," says Abe, "If you can provide a water heater, Max and Nick will take care of things for you." Ava leaves.

Chelsea tells Abe she's looking for Bo. "You can find Bo at the pub," says Abe, "You'll never find him here at the station in the middle of a busy workday."

As Chelsea leaves, Roman drags John in kicking and screaming.

Phillip and Chloe kiss. "This isn't right," says Chloe.

"It feels right to me," says Phillip. A knock interrupts. Henderson gets and eyeful, and says he has a delivery for Chloe. Phillip takes it and hands Chloe the envelope.

Chloe tears into it, "My divorce papers. I'm a free woman. Licensed to cavort."

EJ listens. Sami says, "I have feelings for EJ, but I'm not in love with him."

EJ stomps into the room, "Well, that's good to know isn't it? Sorry to interrupt but I have to go tend to my uncle." He goes over to John's desk and picks up his briefcase. Sami walks over and they have a little slappy-fit as Sami digs into the briefcase and pulls out the heretofore non-existent annulment papers. Sami is anxious to sign.

"My part's already signed," snorts EJ, "Have a nice life." EJ huffs out as Sami signs. Lucas stares.

Daniel says, "My experience is limited to converting hospitals, and underage girls.

Maggie says, "Once you have made the commitment it's pretty easy." Bo has checked with the Salem Green Committee and they have approved everything. Nick says he mainly deals with eco-friendly fuels, and he knows Daniel owns a hydrogen car. Daniel senses a problem with Nick.

"No problem," says Nick, "Why don't you ask Chelsea about it."

That's Chelsea's cue. She walks into the pub, "Ask me what?"

"We're trying to make Salem an environmentally desirable place," says Bo, "Could you leave town?"

Chloe says she thought Brady might have changed his mind. Phillip thinks Brady is a fool. He insists she will get through it. "Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't love you? Don't you deserve better?"

"I don't know."

Phillip says, "Just because love hasn't worked out for either of us doesn't mean it won't."

"I don't want to talk any more," says Chloe. The audience cheers. Phillip doesn't want to talk either. He drags her to the couch. Things get hot and heavy. Chloe removes his shirt, his dog tags, his leg. Let the games begin...

Maggie goes for tea, but stays within earshot in case anything juicy develops. Clueless Bo asks if something is going on. Before anyone can answer, Bo gets a call from Hope and leaves.

Nick also decides to go. He wishes them luck. Daniel starts to go but Chelsea stops him.

Marlena tells Abe, "John is suffering and can't be confined." John says instincts take over whenever anything triggers a memory from the lab. He insists he protected himself the way he was programmed to. Abe asks him about the drugs. John says he doesn't know anything about that. EJ walks in with a list of civil liberty infractions they have committed against his new client. Ava stands outside and listens

Lucas walks around with Allie. Sami holds Johnny. The kids struggle but can't get away. Lucas puts Allie down and comments on how big she has become. He's amazed she can walk. Allie breaks into a trot and heads for the door. Lucas thinks she looks like her mommy. "She has your eyes," says Sami.

"I wondered why it was so dark in here," says Lucas. He rants about having to share the kids with EJ. Sami thinks things will be different now that Lucas is back and she signed the annulment papers. Lucas reminds her there is a fly in the ointment – EJ will always be Johnny's father, "At least until they rewrite history."

Sami doesn't want to spoil the moment, "You do want us to start over, don't you?"

Lucas huffs. Sami tries again, "I want us to spend all the Days Of Our Lives together. You have to forgive me and move on. She hands him her Get Out Of Infidelity Free Card.

A woman walks up with her little girl and interrupts Daniel and Chelsea. Daniel doesn't recognize her, but she reminds him he operated on her little girl Monica and saved her life. Dan stoops down and asks how little Monica is doing. Monica gives him a hug. "Seeing you has made my day," says Daniel.

The woman says, "Dr. Daniel is an angel. An honest to God angel. Monica and her mommy walk off.

Daniel turns to Chelsea, "That Monica is smokin' hot, isn't she?"

Bill Clinton walks up and puts his hand on Daniel's shoulder, "Try to control yourself. Girls named Monica are simply hard to resist."

"You really are a rock star," says Chelsea.

Ava listens as EJ asks for them to release John. No go. Marlena asks to talk to Roman in private. Abe takes John to book him. EJ follows. Ava soaks it in.

Marlena begs Roman not to lock up John. Roman is concerned about John's delicate mental condition, but he knows what John is capable of. He says he isn't enjoying this but this isn't the old John they are dealing with. New John could be guilty.

Ava tells EJ she likes the way he handled himself. He recognizes her from the newspaper pictures. She asks him to take her case.

Sami asks again if Lucas wants a future with her. He doesn't think he can get past this. Sami is sorry. "Sorry doesn't cut it," says Lucas, "Maybe I just need time to get over this." Sami understands and will give him whatever he needs. When he was in jail the only hope Lucas had was that they would get back together. Sami says there is nothing good without Lucas. She signed the annulment and there is nothing standing in her way. She wants to prove he is the love of her life. She moves in on him. Lucas seems receptive.

EJ turns Ava down. She asks him to think about it.

Marlena changes her tactics. She wants Roman to have some empathy for her. If new John is traumatized she isn't sure what will happen to old John. Heartless Roman says he's sorry as they bring John back in. Abe says he booked John. We have a mass-staredown.

Ava tells EJ he'll have his hands full, but she knows he's capable and can handle both cases. She also says she will pay him double what John is paying.

"John already offered to double my fees," says EJ, "I didn't realize being an attorney was such a piece of cake."

Outside the pub, Chelsea says she thinks Daniel thinks she likes him because he is a hotshot doctor. She denies that as Daniel's phone rings. Daniel answers, "Yeah, hi. It's not really a good time for me."

Chloe dresses, "This was a mistake."

"It's my favorite kind of mistake," says Phillip. He has her come over. He asks why she is still so unhappy.

"It might be a rebound thing for me," says Chloe, "and that's not fair to you."

"I can take care of myself," says Phillip. He goes for another rebound.

Daniel is still on the phone, "I'll meet you. I'll be there. This stays between us." He hangs up and asks Chelsea to tell everyone he said goodbye.


EJ gets off the phone and agrees to be Ava's lawyer. He gives her his card. She thanks him and leaves. EJ sits, buries his face in his hands and remembers Sami signing the annulment papers.

Lucas breaks it off and walks away.

Roman calls for a guard to escort a prisoner to lockup. John huffs, "I can't do this. Blondie help me. I can't do this."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Prevuze #1,000

This is our 1,000th Prevuze posting on this website. Whoop-de-doo. I don't know that it's really cause for celebration but, hey, it's Saturday and I never know what to write about on Saturday anyway.

I also can't get too excited about it, because while it's post #1,000 on this site, Prevuze existed long before it was here and we're not counting those.

Also, there are the "housekeeping" posts we've made that said something like "We won't be posting today because lightning struck the Prevuze Compound and all of our equipment melted." (Oh, yeah, that really happened a couple of years ago).

We've taken a lot of those posts down. If we hadn't I suppose we would have reached Prevuze #1,000 a couple of weeks ago. Oh well, so the whole thing's bogus. Let's celebrate anyway.

But how?

I suppose I should start by saying something about the infamous Prevuze cable – you know, the one the tree was leaning against and it was stretched tighter than Kate's lips after her last botox treatment? I had pretty much decided to stop worrying about it and let it go. If the thing fell, we'd fix it afterward. Then, lo and behold, a Good Samaritan ventured into the depths of the Prevuze wilderness and cleared out the debris that had dammed up the Prevuze River and also caused part of the stretching problem. With the debris cleared, there is enough slack in the cable that if the tree falls, the cable wouldn't break. Thanks to the good Samaritan, we are now out of danger.

When DOOL reached its milestone 10,000th episode it marked the occasion with one of those montages of the sights and sounds of yesteryear. We don't have montages on Prevuze, but here's what you can do. As you look at the pictures that follow, imagine "Through The Years" playing in the background and let a few tears well up in your eyes...

OK, I suppose that's already too many. Perhaps it's fitting to end with this one:

Have a great Memorial Day holiday, gang. Drive safely. If you can afford to drive, that is.

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