Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Fornicating On Company Property

Ava thinks Jake is back from the dead. In "reality" Stefan is back from the dead. No biggie, on this show everyone comes back from the dead. #DOOL itself is moving to Peacock in hopes of coming back from the dead. #DAYS

Rolf to Kristen: "You seem agitated." Agitated? That's like saying a star going supernova is "agitated." #DAYS

Shinn & Gabi do the Conference Table Tango. Someone is going to walk in… if we're lucky. #DAYS

Shinn Sr: "You were fornicating on company property!" Technically they were just half dressed making out on company property. The main event Shinn Sr. walked in before they got to the main event. #DAYS

Li: "Father likes to catch me off guard."  In this particular case he was both off guard and on Gabi. #DAYS
A7 episodes in a row with at least one half naked male 3DAYS
Rachael needs a spanking. So does Chloe. But for different reasons. #DAYS

A new #DOOL record! 27 episodes in a row with at least one half-naked male. #DAYS

Rachael is one tough negotiator. #DAYS

Flashback: Stefan falls for Gabi. Gabi falls for Stefan. The couple falls onto the couch. #DAYS

Shawn says he needs time. Belle thinks he needs a roll in the hay. Shawn: "I'm not that kind of boy." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shinn Sr. walks in on Li and Gabi doing the nasty: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Li: "Testing the functionality of our new clothing line. The quicker it comes off in a moment of passion the better it will sell." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shinn Sr: "You are fornicating on company property!" Li: "Well, technically I was fornicating on Gabi." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "I slept with EJ, and there is nothing I can do to take that back… thank God." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shinn Sr.: "High moral character was never a requirement to run DiMera." Li: "In that case, Gabi is totally qualified for the position." #DAYS

Monday, August 29, 2022

The Man of Her Nightmares

When a Lothario like Alex meets the woman of his dream you can bet she's met the man of her nightmares. #DAYS

Alex brings Stefanie a bouquet of flowers that proves the rainforest is being cleared at an alarming rate. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Marlena and Kayla sit together tied up in chairs. Marlena: "I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to John." Kayla: "I'm sorry I drank all that iced tea for lunch." #DAYS

Friday, August 26, 2022

Let's Hit The Sheets

Alex knows Chanel and Allie are Bi. His texts indicate he's trying to turn them into Tri. #DAYS

Jada: "I'm sorry, Nicole, but how is the fact I slept with Eric any of your business?" I'm sorry, Jada, but why were you dense enough to open the door in the first place? #DAYS

Stephanie abhors Alex. I'm sure it won't be long before they're planning the wedding. #DAYS

Come on, Roman. Lighten up. Kate is almost as needy as you are. #DAYS

Big question: Would a relationship with Stephanie change Alex, or will he start lobbying Allie, Chanel and her for a foursome? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric: "You have a very lovely name." Jada: "Thank you. It's French for 'I'll bang any guy who'll fix my air conditioner.'" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Eric answers the knock at his door: "What can I do for you?" Jada: "You can fix my air conditioner but first let's hit the sheets." #DAYS

Thursday, August 25, 2022

First Runners-Up

Real police departments don't allow suspects being detained to suffer a fool's parade of people, as Trask put it, "who'd like to rip you to shreds." Of course the Salem Police Department is about as close to a real a real police department as the Hardy Boys Fan Club.  #DAYS

Eric Half nude. Alex half nude. Sloan half nude. Are ratings down or is the message, "follow us to Peacock and we'll show you even more"? #DAYS

Jada: "I'm usually not this forward." Eric expresses his disgust by throwing her onto the bed. #DAYS

Jada: "I don't usually do this kind of thing." I'll bet she says that to all the defrocked priests. #DAYS

Sloan looks a lot better undressed. #DAYS

Eric has a sex dream about Nicole. Nicole has a sex dream about Eric. Given the fact that Eric and Nicole were unable to perform their required duties, Jada and Rafe became the first runners-up. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sonny: "You're a player." Alex: "No. I have the utmost respect for women. In fact the amount of respect I have for them is inversely proportional to the amount of clothing they have on." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sonny: "Someday you'll meet someone who knocks you off your feet." Alex: "I try to get off my feet with all of them.' #DAYS

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

A Setback

Whatever happened to  2/10 Net 30? #Stefan: "I am Stefan Ovtavius DiMera. I tell you what to do." Rolf: "I am Dr. Rolf. I have an app on my phone that can send you back to the Great Beyond." #DAYS

Patch asks to talk to John in private. With their matching jackets I thought he was going to ask John to go steady. #DAYS

Rolf tells Stefan if he tries to leave he could have a setback. And when you just came back from the dead, a setback is a really bad thing. #DAYS

Gabi thinks there is sexual tension between Ava and EJ: "I know heat when I see it." And EJ knows a tight ass when he sees it. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ to Ava: "You're going after a man who's young enough to be your son… now I, on the other hand would be a more appropriate age…" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "Johnny is young enough to be your son." Ava: SLAP! EJ: "That was unnecessary." Ava: "It felt good." EJ: "Not if you were me." #DAYSMBA-Talk

Monday, August 22, 2022

Go Down On Your Knees and Thank Me

Rolf to Gabi: "You should go down on your knees and thank me." With its relaxed standards, when they go over to Peacock, maybe she will. #DAYS

Peacock: are they talking about the bird, or something that's the size of a pea? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gabi: "You're going to work for us over my dead body." Rolf: "That won't work. I'd just bring you back from the dead." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kristen: "Brady will only let me see Rachael on neutral territory." Chad: "So where are you meeting?" Kristen: "The North-South Korea DMZ." #DAYS

Friday, August 19, 2022

Because I'm Wearing Clothes

Marlena: "I swear Rachael has grown several inches since I last saw her." She's been SORHISed* as well as SORASed. (*Soap Opera Rapid Height Increase Syndrome) #DAYS

Kristen: "I have a certain gift for getting myself out of jams." If you have a gift for getting yourself out of jams, doesn't that mean you also have a habit of getting yourself into jams in the first place? #DAYS

Kristen couldn't have murdered Chloe with that letter opener. It wasn't long enough to make it through her boobs all the way to her heart. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Kristen: "Rachael doesn't need a therapist." Marlena: "Her mother sure does." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "You saw me practically-naked and Johnny saw you completely naked, so why can't I see you naked?" Ava: "Because I'm wearing clothes." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny knocks on Ava's door: "Are you decent?" Ava: "Yes." Johnny: "In that case, I'll come back later." #DAYS

Thursday, August 18, 2022

Nudity... Vulgarity...

Half-naked EJ. Half-naked Xander. The guys in the audience demand equal time. #DAYS

Patch to Stephanie: "My little sweetness, my problem is Mama sweetness won't let me kill Orlpheus." Perhaps Mama sweetness has half a brain… or a much longer fuse. #DAYS

Rafe: "Out with it!" Leo stands up and unzips his pants. Nudity… vulgarity… perhaps #DOOL is preparing for its move to Peacock, where the standards are more relaxed. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "Whatever gets you through the night, toots." Gwen: "These days it's my vibrator that gets me through the night." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe: "Either you talk, or I will have the DA indict you for Abigail's murder." Leo: "That would be great news. At your level of incompetence, being indicted by you would be proof of my innocence." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "Screw you, EJ." EJ: "If you insist." #DAYS

Wednesday, August 17, 2022

More Sex

Chad: "You don't have secret tunnels in your house?" Even the Prevuze Compound has secret tunnels. Well, actually it's called a crawl space. #DAYS

Sloan thinks Alex just referred to her as "That hooker from the Julia Roberts movie." Alex is incorrect… at least the part about her being in the movie. #DAYS

As she heads down the path leading to a solution in the Abigail DiMera murder, Jada discovers a fork in the road. #DAYS

Way more than half way through the episode, Alex finally puts on a robe. Sorry, gals. The show is over. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sonny: "Everyone wants something other than sex." Alex: "You're absolutely right. Sometimes they want more sex." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Sonny: "I don't want you to be a misogynist." Alex: "Why not? I enjoy giving massages." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jack: "What kind of person could have killed Abigail?" Gwen: "A murderer?" #DAYS

Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Salem: Where Human Brains Are In Short Supply

Roman: "Sorry, kids, I already closed up." Pauline: "No problem. We already ate at the bistro." Because there may be a Covid vaccine, but there is no such thing as a ptomaine vaccine. #DAYS

Allie to Chanel and Gabi: "I believe this is what sociologists call flirting." Watching Alex, I believe it's what they call drooling. #DAYS

Brady: "I wouldn't put it past Kristen to go after full custody." Of Rachael or Brady? #DAYS

Paulina to Roman: "When you find love, don't cut off your nose to spite your face." Yeah, but if you cross her, Kate is the kind of woman who might cut off something else. #DAYS

If another babe sits down at that table testosterone will start oozing out of Alex' ears. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shinn; "Dr. Rolf is a wizard of the human brain." Kristen: "Then what's he doing in Salem where human brains are in short supply?" #DAYS

Monday, August 15, 2022

Naked

When Maggie took a look at Alex and asked for an eight-letter word for naked I think in her case it was "holysh*t." #DAYS

Gabi and Shinn wonder what diabolical deeds Ava might plan for them. Meanwhile, over at the DiMera mansion Ava and her dastardly crew are snickering about Johnny and her seeing each other naked. #DAYS

If Alex doesn't stop drooling, Chanel and Allie will be too grossed out to eat their dinner. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Alex to Chanel: "Do I get you all to myself tonight?" Allie: "Sorry, I'm afraid she's spoken for." Alex: "As far as I'm concerned, two's company, three's a party." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Allie: "That's basically the Cliff Notes story of our relationship." Alex: "I don't need those. I've been taking my own notes." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "Thanks for having my back." Johnny: "After seeing you naked I'd like to have it and the rest of you, too." #DAYS

Friday, August 12, 2022

Tinkerbell

Shawn pulls up a chair to dish the dirt on Jada's divorce. Move over Maggie, there's a new gossip in town." #DAYS

Belle" "Fixing the fact I slept with EJ will take some time." Shawn's a guy. The amount of time it will take is directly proportional to the amount of clothing Belle is wearing when they talk. #DAYS

Chad: "My son said you're the tooth fairy." Leo: "I'm not the tooth fairy. I'm more like some other fairy." Tinkerbell? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shawn: "Did you get a good look at the guy who threw the drink in your face?" Clyde: "No, but I got a really good look at the drink." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rafe sneaks in on Nicole: "Knock-Knock." Nicole: "What a pleasure!" Rafe: "What a coincidence! Pleasure is what I had in mind." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "Rafe said until Abby's killer is brought to justice he won't stop." Meanwhile back at Rafe's place – Nicole: "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" #DAYS

Thursday, August 11, 2022

Naked Women Dancing Around Poles

Chad: "Alex reminds me of someone. Can't figure who." Sonny: "Don't know." Ben used the same elixir to morph into Alex that Chris Kositchek used to morph into Roman. #DAYS

Johnny and Ava engage in a game of "If you show me yours I'll show you mine." #DAYS

BenAlex wants to take Chanel and Allie out for a five-star meal. The only five-star meal in Salem is when there are five chicken nuggets included and each nugget gets one star. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see – Thomas: "I'm afraid to eat toffee now because I have a loose tooth." Jennifer grabs a pair of pliers and chases Thomas around the room. #DAYS

Sarah: "Gwen seems to be a psychiatrist's worst nightmare." Marlena might differ with that. Probably being possessed by the devil is her worst nightmare. #DAYS

TOMORROW

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "You're a sweet-talkin' city-boy." Alex: "No, I'm from Salem." Chanel: "That makes you a sweet-talkin' country-bumpkin." Alex: "And I'm a Kiriakis." Chanel: "That makes you a sweet-talkin criminal." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "I'm over Chanel." Allie: "How did that happen so fast?" Johnny: "I just saw Ava naked." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "I'm sorry about walking in on you when you were naked." Ava: "Meh… it's all forgotten." Johnny: "For you, maybe." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "I am filled with nothing but rage." Jennifer: "Last night you were filled with nothing but booze." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jennifer: "You and Thomas need a boys' night out." Chad: "If you insist. I hope he likes naked women dancing around poles." #DAYS

Tuesday, August 09, 2022

Assets or Asses?

Shinn to Rolf: "I like to keep an eye on DiMera assets." Did he say "assets" or "asses?" #DAYS

Gabi: "I am the Evel Knievel of jumping to conclusions." She should ask Mr. Knievel about his experience at Snake River Canyon. #DAYS

Nicole sees Eric and Jada head upstairs. She wouldn't misconstrue what's up with that, would she? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shawn: "I hope it's all right that I call you my wife." Belle: "What else would you call me?" Shawn: "'Lousy cheating slut' comes to mind." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Jada: "Shawn said his marriage is complicated." Eric: "Take that with a grain of salt. 'Complicated' is a concept way beyond Shawn's level of competence." #DAYS

Monday, August 08, 2022

Detective (Man) Hunter

Rolf wonders how anyone could figure out he had removed Jake's heart. So, you think they might notice the big gash down his chest when they embalm his body or dress it in his Sunday finest? #DAYS

Detective (Man) Hunter seems disappointed to discover Shawn is married. #DAYS

Kristen to Rolf: "Can I trust you?" What are your options, Kristen? Maybe heading over to MadScientist.com to find someone else? #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava to EJ: "I'll vote Gabi out when you vote me in… to your bed." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Brady: "Let's just take the day off." Chloe: "This is not time to quote the DiMera mission statement to me." #DAYS

Friday, August 05, 2022

DOOL Doppelganger Dog Doo

Eric calls Sonny and tells him Chad is drunk and won't leave. He'll leave when he has to run to the bathroom to puke. #DAYS

If you want another drink, Chad, just go home. You've got more booze there than the local Drinks R Us joint. #DAYS

I already hate this Alex character. More #DOOL doppelganger dog doo. #DAYS

What would happen if Sarah put on the Sara mask? Just asking. #DAYS

Chanel and Allie get things started when someone knocks. Chanel: "Let's pretend we're not at home." In Salem, pretending you're  not at home never works. #DAYS

Sarah and Xander's dumpster diving escapade could kill two birds with one stone. Tomorrow is chowdah day at the pub. #DAYS

Wednesday, August 03, 2022

Mining Bitcoin

We don't quite know Jake's status yet but it brings to mind this interesting fact: The population of the world is approaching 8 billion. If you count the number of Salemites who have come back from the dead it's almost 9 billion. #DAYS

Gabi knocks. Ava jumps out of bed and answers the door. The straight male audience asks, "Why, why, why doesn't Ava sleep in the nude?" #DAYS

Rex to Sarah: "I should have realized something was off about you." Apparently, Rex does NOT have a firm grasp of the obvious. #DAYS

Shinn: "What are Ava's qualifications? Mob boss?" Wouldn't being a mob boss make Ava a perfect fit for DiMera enterprises? #DAYS

In Salem, you just ain't nobody unless you've come back from the dead. #DAYS

Looks like Shinn has figured out Jake and Ava's marriage certificate, in legal terms, was ex-post-croako. #DAYS

EJ invites Ava to move into the DiMera Mansion. Or, with all the people that have lived there, should we just call it the DiMera Air B&B? #DAYS

Kristen: "You must have a hell of an electric bill keeping Stefan alive." Rolf: "I make up for that. While the machines are running they are also mining Bitcoin." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Rolf: "I knew I could bring Stefan back from the dead. I told myself nothing's impossible." Kristen: "If nothing's impossible then bring Jake back from the dead." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Evan: "I want to spend some time with Jan and my son." Orpheus: "Jan's dead." Evan: "This is Salem. No one's dead forever."

Next on #DOOL — Queen Elizabeth in need of more room, moves into the DiMera Mansion. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ava: "You just want me to move into the DiMera mansion because you want to have sex with me." EJ: "You've been known to be generous in that respect in the past." #DAYS

Monday, August 01, 2022

Cray-Cray

Marlena walks into her office to find Orpheus. Since Hospital security is useless, she should press her "I-have-fallen-and-can't-get-up" button. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "I wasn't that close with him but now Jake's dead… And Abby is dead. And Shawn is dead." Sonny: "Shawn isn't dead." Chad: "I was talking about his brain." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Johnny: "Tell us what you decided and I'll act like a grownup." Allie: "I'll act like a grownup, too." Chanel: "OK, then. The person I want to be with for the rest of my life is Allie." Johnny: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chanel: "How long should we wait before we… you know." Allie: "It seems like we've waited forever." Chanel: "Forever is long enough." #DAYS

Gwen: "Are you saying I'm crazy?" Leo: "I'm saying you're the reason the overworked term "cray-cray" is making a comeback." #DAYS

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