Saturday, September 30, 2017

Viagra In The Candy Dishes




Friday, September 29, 2017

The Salem Dermatology Clinic

Between Bonnie and Nicole's plunging necklines we're seeing more skin than the entire staff at the Salem Dermatology Clinic. #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Justin gets mixed up. Chad winds up Married to Paul and Sonny winds up married to Abby. #DAYS

If you've ever thought about having a double wedding, this endless ceremony should change your mind. #DAYS

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Bonnie's Plunging Neckline

John: "A man cannot get married on an empty stomach."  Paul: "Yeah, I'll need something down there when I'm puking my guts up." #DAYS

Scenes we'd like to see: Sonny takes his tux off at the wedding and is wearing the Spiderman costume under that. #DAYS

Abby's as nervous as a virgin staring into a volcano. No volcanoes in Salem. No virgins either. #DAYS

If Bonnie's plunging neckline exposed anything more we'd be staring at her belly button. #DAYS

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Posted By Popular Demand

 

 

Cliff Clavin

Steve telegraphs the fact he'll be coming home drunk, horny and with
stale cigar breath. Lucky Kayla. #DAYS

Chad suggests Abby not panic just yet. Good call. When Abby panics,
buildings burn. #DAYS

Andre to Sonny: "Your ancestors originated the bachelor party in 5th
century BC." Sounds like something Cliff Clavin would say #Cheers #DAYS

Friday, September 22, 2017

Salem Male Fashionistas

What the hell is with that jacket André is wearing? André is the Kate of Salem male fashonistas. #DAYS

Sonny, Will and Paul. It may be Sonny's dream but it definitely qualifies as a three-way — or, dare I say, a MANage a trois? #DAYS

Eric's letter to Nicole: "Being friends means more to me than anything… so I never want to see you again." #DAYS

Paul: "What understanding do you have with Eric?" Brady: "He stays away from Nicole or I punch his lights out." #DAYS

The Miracle

 

 

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Rude Awakening

 

 

Demon Rum

The Salem Chapter of the Women's Christian Temperance Union gangs up on Lucas.

 

As Long As We Can Still Have Sex

Brady: "Eric would never come between Nicole and me." Yeah, especially if she dumps you and you're out of the picture. #DAYS

Justin: "You should never give up if you love someone." Brady better hope no one passes that advice along to Eric." #DAYS

Abby: "Let's wait until we're married to be together. What do you say." Chad: "Sure. As long as we can still have sex." #DAYS

Hope: "Being Commissioner wouldn't be right for me." Rafe: "Why?" Hope: "It would put a damper on any crimes I might want to commit." #DAYS

Brady, If Nicole won't be faithful working at the Center, chances are she won't be faithful anyway. #DAYS

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

DO IT IN THE PEW!

Chad and Abby frolic in the church.  DO IT IN THE PEW! DO IT IN THE PEW! #DAYS

Jennifer, Kate, Maggie and Kayla gang up on Lucas. Damn. They sent the entire Women's Temperance Union. #DAYS

Abe: "We can't control our feelings; just our actions." Her history shows Nicole can't control her actions, either. #DAYS

So Many Men, So Little Time

 

 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Sonny Bunny

 

 

A Dying Swan Dive Into A Vat Of Whiskey

This is the first time Will has come back from the dead but, hey, he's still young. #DAYS

 

Will returns with more wisdom than Lucas. That wouldn't be difficult even if Lucas was sober. #DAYS

 

Sonny: "Lucas fell off the wagon." It was more like he dove off. A dying swan. Into a vat of whiskey. #DAYS

 

Friday, September 15, 2017

Add A Zombie To The Mix

Good call, Hattie. Angelica won't be refuting your story anytime soon. #DAYS

Wedding seating will have to include a bride's side, three groom's sides
and an "enemy of the couple" side. #DAYS

Will returns!  Two doppelgangers weren't enough. They had to add a
zombie to the mix. #DAYS

There once was a guy named Lucas
Who was the Salem town dufus.
He drank himself numb,
Turned into a bum.
Attempts to save him are useless.  #DAYS

The Hormones Are Kicking In

Eric: "Prove you're my mom—What's your full name?" Marlena: "Marlena
Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady… oh, hell no one could remember that." #DAYS

Protip for Theo: When she says, "I want to be your girlfriend" and her
next words are, "I lied," proceed at your own risk. #DAYS

Theo: "I want to be your boyfriend." Claire: "I want to be your
girlfriend." Translation: The hormones are kicking in. #DAYS

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Sitting At The Right Hand Of God Almighty

Nicole: "Having Holly is like having a piece of Daniel back." Daniel
isn't coming back—He's too busy sitting at the right hand of God
Almighty. #DAYS

Hattie's moment of clarity: When she realizes Marlena really can
prescribe shock therapy for someone. #DAYS

Brady's going to the wrong group for help. He needs to join
Nicoleaholics Anonymous. #DAYS

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Fornication

Abby: "Why wouldn't I be happy?" This is Salem. There is a cityordinance against being happy. #DAYS

OMG! Rafe and Hope in bed. This is a perfect example why God made uprules against fornication. #DAYS
`
Abigail separates Kate and André: "Both of you, knock it off!" When Abbyis the voice of sanity all hope is lost. #DAYS

Monday, September 11, 2017

Shocking

Bonnie: "I hope what I'm going to tell you isn't too shocking." Coming
on to him, I think you've already shocked Victor's socks off. #DAYS

Protip: If you're ever committed, screaming, "I'M NOT CRAZY" only
convinces people you're crazy. #DAYS

Justin: "Uncle Victor, I love you, but can it!" Usually it's Victor who
tells people to can it. #DAYS

Saturday, September 09, 2017

Shock Therapy

 

 

Friday, September 08, 2017

Relationship Advice From Your Ex

Lucas thanks Chloe for helping with the "Angelica mess." Yep — Any time
you wake up next to a dead person it's a mess. #DAYS

They seem to have SORASed Parker. Chloe may be talking to him in his
college dorm room. #DAYS

Hey, Lucas, maybe you could find a better place to get relationship
advice than from your ex. #DAYS

Thursday, September 07, 2017

Roll... Me Over In The Clover

Fashion statement: Paul and Sonny's black wife-beaters just shout gay
stereotype. I'm surprised they don't have "YMCA" playing in the
background. #DAYS

Roman rejects "Marlena" who says they could have the stars. It's been so
long he probably thinks, "I'm not interested in astronomy." #DAYS

If I were in Raines' position there would only be one word coming out of
my mouth — "Lawyer." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Chad: "You know how I roll." Abby: "Me over in the
clover?" #DAYS

Buzz Lightweight

 

 

Wednesday, September 06, 2017

Hand Of God

Shocking

Next on #DOOL — There is a shocking development in John and Marlena's escape plan.

Mexican Standoff

Eric to Nicole: "You look like the kind of mom any girl would be lucky
to have." Looks are deceiving. #DAYS

If it were not now politically incorrect I'd call Rafe and Raines'
situation a Mexican standoff. But I would never say anything like that.
#DAYS

Hattie to Brady: "When somebody loves somebody..." For a minute there I
thought we were going to get the "birds and the bees" talk. #DAYS

Raines to Hope: "You're a cop who shot a man at point-blank range
multiple times." Sure can't argue with that. #DAYS

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Mumbo-Jumbo

And the Emmy for "I've been buffing up for weeks to do this half-nude
scene" goes to… Theo! #DAYS

Bonnie: "I'm not very good with medical mumbo-jumbo." No problem. Salem
Hospital specializes in mumbo-jumbo. #DAYS

If Rafe is a respected cop I am the Queen of Sheba. #DAYS

Still Dead


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