Friday, February 29, 2008

Prevuze In Peril

This is the forest Prevuze. The murmuring pines and the hemlocks,

Bearded with moss, and in garments green, indistinct in the twilight,

Stand like dudes of eld, with voices sad and prophetic,

Stand like harpers ho, with beards that rest on their bosoms.

Few have had the courage to traverse the Prevuze Compound, nestled deep within the dark Prevuze Forest in the Kingdom of Prevuzia. Here, daily, teams of dedicated and talented technicians tirelessly work to capture top-secret transmissions, interpret their content and bring you that infamous literary effort, Prevuze. To cross the miles of treacherous terrain on the Prevuze Compound requires the skills of a Navy Seal, the strength of a Marine, the deep-woods instincts of Native Americans and the tenacity of Hope Brady on a mission for another tidbit of gossip.

The Prevuze Compound is so remote the Federal Government has classified it as The Area 51 Annex. In order to bring the all-important satellite signal into Prevuze HQ, the satellite dish sits on the perimeter of the Compound and a single unburied cable extends across the miles of hostile landscape. The route is so harsh, burying the cable would have been impossible. It took the same team that laid the Alaskan Pipeline to install the Prevuze Cable.

In one of the most remote areas of the Compound lies an uncharted, uninhabited wasteland known only as Mordor II. Here, the Prevuze Cable crosses the mighty Prevuze River. At this point, the cable runs several feet above the ground in order to cross the deadly Prevuze Chasm.

Recent torrential rains flooded the Mighty Prevuze River. A logjam just past the cable area exacerbated the near-Biblical event by holding back the floodwaters and significantly increasing the time it took for them to recede. For days, the banks of the Mighty Prevuze stood underwater and softened. The softening, in turn caused a large walnut tree to lean toward the river creating a new landmark, The Leaning Tree of Prevuze. In and of itself, this would not be a significant thing, BUT...


The Leaning Tree of Prevuze leaned right into the Prevuze Cable! Daily, the tree leans a little more and stretches the Prevuze Cable ever tighter. The Prevuze Cable is now approaching the breaking point.

Now, a perilous quest awaits the Prevuze team. Somehow, we either have to get that cable on the other side of the offending tree, or we have to release enough slack in the cable so that WHEN the tree falls, it won't take the cable with it. Cutting down the tree above the cable would almost certainly break it.

As we see it, we have two options, neither one really good.

First (and this is probably the preferable option) we can check the bowels of Prevuze HQ to see if there is enough cable to allow us to extend it outside and provide enough slack that the cable can sit at the base of the tree and (we hope) won't be harmed when the tree goes. The problem here is working our way back through the un-navigable territory to slacken the cable which we know is wound around at least one additional tree that would have to be cut down.

The second option would be to deliberately cut the cable and re-splice it on the other side of the tree. I don't have to tell you the problems associated with that option. If we don't get it spliced right – no Prevuze. And then there is the issue of getting down there in the first place. We could hire someone to do it, but the aforementioned crew that built the Alaskan pipeline is no longer available.

So that's it. We'll have to keep you posted on this one. Of course, if you wake up one morning and there is no Prevuze, you can pretty well guess the cause.

Send us ideas if you have them, and we'll be sure to...

WAITAMINUTE! DAVID COPPERFIELD! Oh, yeah, I think I read where he's busy. I wonder what Penn and Teller are up to.


Stephanie and Nick sit in the pub and talk about a grant he is applying for. Nick explains, "It's about the science of going green." Chelsea walks in looking like something the cat dragged in. Nick looks up at her and, what a coincidence, goes green. Chelsea joins them.

"You don't look so good," says Stephanie.

"She looks the same as she always does," says Nick.

"That's what I mean," says Stephanie.

They ask how her dad is doing. Chelsea says, "If he was doing well, would I look this bad?"


Chelsea don' wanna talk about it. So she talks about it. The blithering basket case fills them in on Bo's condition. Stephanie asks, "What does that mean?"

Chelsea whines, "He could die Stephanie, if they don't do something about it quick. I'm just all torn up about it, even though we all know six months from now I'll probably be plotting to kill him."

Chloe comes into Phillip's study. "Gee," he says, "You slept in – AGAIN." Chloe says it's because she is just so comfortable there. She wonders why Phillip isn't at work. He says he's waiting for a call, "We had the phones removed from Titan as a cost-cutting measure." Chloe says she has a favor to ask. Phillip's a bit miffed. He tells her Victor believes she is responsible for Brady's disappearance, but Phillip believes her cock and bull story, "So what's this favor? I can't imagine it's any bigger than what I've already done for you."

Chloe says, "It is bigger."

Patch comes out and tries to bundle Kayla up. She declines. He tries to force feed her chips and dip, or get her a drink. She tells the pandering idiot to sit down. Patch sits, but a knock at the door gets him back up immediately. She asks why he's so jumpy. "I'm not jumpy," he says as he puts the chain on the door and peers out.

Abe looks through the crack in the door at the crackpot behind the door. Patch turns to Kayla and tells her it's a pizza delivery. He goes into the hall. Abe says he couldn't find anything in the local files, so he ran the info Patch gave him through state and federal databases, which means he committed a crime on all levels of government.

Chelsea insists she will be fine. They call her on it and she admits she's putting on an act. Max comes into the pub and joins them. He announces he's been to court. Stephanie slams her hand into her head and grimaces, "I could have had a V-8! And I also forgot about your hearing." She apologizes and asks how things went.

"I was a jerk with the judge," says Max, "I told him I only did it once and it was the SOB who raped my girlfriend. My lawyer told me to shut up and I told the judge about my pop. I got community service, the same thing Chelsea got for murder. I just miss Pop. That's all that matters. At least the Ford Decker deal is dead and buried."

"Was that supposed to be funny," asks Stephanie.


Max wants to change the subject. Stephanie says she and Chelsea have decided to apply for internships, but haven't actually filled out the applications. "I don't even want to go to class," says Chelsea, "I mean, why start now? "

Morgan rushes in and announces she has applied for an amazing internship. Monica Lewinski turns around and says, "Just keep your hands off my man." Morgan thinks Chelsea and Stephanie should get their applications in as soon as possible.

Chloe tells Phillip she is running out of money. Phillip says she can stay there a while longer. As they hug, Phillip asks, "Why do I feel like this is the biggest mistake I have ever made?" Chloe smiles.

Phillip thinks there is more to Chloe's request. Chloe insists she is being completely open with him, "As much as I need to be." Translation: Fort Knox is more open.

Chloe runs outside in the cold where she finds a mountain of baggage. Well, actually it's luggage. Chloe already came with baggage. She tells Phillip it was in storage and she had it sent over. Phillip can't believe it. He thinks she was pretty sure of herself to have it delivered before he told her she could stay. He also can't believe how much there is. Chloe insists she just brought the basics. Phillip wants to know the real problem with Brady. Chloe says love wasn't enough and the rest is none of Phillip's business. She explodes and runs upstairs. Phillip stares.

Chelsea tells Morgan about Bo. Max reminds her his dad just died. Morgan will do anything she can to help. She asks Nick about his grant. He says he still has to give a presentation. Morgan is just sure he will get it. Nick says there are other things going on in his life that might stand in the way of getting the grant – like a lot of stuff with Chelsea. Nick thinks it affects everything. Chelsea says he shouldn't let it affect him. She knows he will get the grant and she will get through her problems.

Morgan takes Nick aside. She tells him blowing the grant won't help, "You need to focus."

"You're right," says Knick.

She creates a small breeze in the pub batting her eyes, "Morgan is always right, sweetie."

Patch says he appreciates what Abe did. He asks Abe to keep it secret, but tells him Stefano did to him what he did to John, "Only he was able to download my mind to a small jump drive instead of a whole CD. At one point, though, I managed to escape, and that's when I hooked up with Ava."

Abe raises his eyebrows, "Hooked up... romantically?" Inquiring minds want to know.

Before Abe gets the juicy details, Kayla steps into the hall and asks where the pizza is.

Ava paces and obsesses. She goes through the pictures again – Patch, John, Hope... the rest of them.

Kayla is suspicious. She didn't realize Abe was moonlighting as a pizza deliveryman. They lie to her and say they're talking about the sabotage of John's plane. Patch asks her to go back into the bedroom and they all move inside.

With Kayla out of the way, Patch tells Abe he had no clue he was Steve Johnson and fell in with Ava, "Her family was into all kinds of sleazy things... guns... drugs... extortion... watching DOOL. Ava wanted to marry me, but something in my subconscious told me she wasn't the woman I loved. I felt there was someone else for me. I prefer a more full-figured woman, if you know what I mean."

"Big buns."

"You got it."

He tells Abe Ava is in Salem.

Stephanie thinks Max needs downtime. He excuses himself and joins Nick and Morgan. Max shoos Nick away and tells Morgan not to move in on Nick. Morgan says she would never do that. "You just did," says Max.

Chloe is on the phone rambling in German as Phillip watches.

Phillip goes into the room and sets a digital recorder down on a desk where Chloe can't see it. Chloe watches as Phillip leaves.

Patch says this all happened five or six years ago. Abe asks if Ava is obsessed. "She was," says Patch, "But not now. The Ava I've been seeing is not the same as that one. Her father always kept her on a short leash." Abe says Daddy is still out and about. Patch says Ava is resourceful enough to sabotage the plane. He tells Abe she admitted doing it, but he can't report it.

"Why," asks Abe.

"Because that would be the responsible, reasonable and intelligent thing to do."

Abe rages. Patch shushes him because he doesn't want Kayla to hear. Abe says he has to report it. Patch says there is no actual proof Ava did it.

"When has that ever stopped the Salem Police Department," asks Abe.

Patch warns Abe that Ava has people who can hatch her nefarious plans, and he knows she has a bead on Kayla. Patch wants access to police resources. Abe doesn't know how they will find her, "And if she is after you, why would she want to kill everyone on the plane?"

"She's crazy," whispers Patch.

"I could never have figured that out," asks Abe.

Morgan insists she isn't after Nick.

Chelsea and Stephanie wonder what Max and Morgan are talking about. Chelsea decides to go see Bo. Morgan hugs her on the way out. Chelsea leaves and Morgan goes to greet an old boyfriend.

Nick sits with Stephanie and tells her the conversation with Morgan was nothing important.

"You sure you don't want to start dating her again," says Stephanie.

"Hell no," says Max, "She's not even a distant cousin."

Stephanie leaves. Max leafs through Nick's grant proposal and pulls a page. Morgan watches.

Stephanie returns and asks what Max is doing.

Patch doesn't know how Ava found him. Abe offers police protection for Kayla. Patch don' wan' no stinkin' protection. He wants to keep this from Kayla because he thinks she can't handle the stress in her delicate condition. He thinks Ava is dangerous, though.

Chloe continues to rattle off German on the phone. As she hangs up, Phillip steps in and asks if there is any news about Brady. Chloe says that's not what the conversation was about. She says she left some of her things in Vienna and is having them shipped. Phillip can't believe she could have more stuff. He gets sarcastic, "I'd love to be your bellhop."

"I'll bet you'd like to hop her frequently," says Chloe. She leaves. Phillip picks up the recorder and makes a call, "I need your help. Get over here fast."

Patch says he doesn't know if Ava is out to kill him. Abe doesn't believe him. Patch says she was pretty sweet when they were together but he headed for the hills when Ava started pushing him to marry, "She wanted it too badly. Even though I didn't remember anything, I knew there was someone else I wanted to be with. I thought she would get over it. My mistake, huh?"

Patch didn't think her daddy cared one way or the other if he left.

Abe asks, "Why didn't she just kill you?"

"She said she suffered all these years since I left her, so she wanted me to suffer, too," says Patch, "I need that report."

As Abe leaves Patch thanks him for not playing by the book. Abe hasn't read the book. He leaves. Patch locks up.

Ava stares at the pictures. She deals them out one by one and then freaks out. She starts wadding them up and tossing some of them across the room. When she gets to Patch's picture, she stops and contemplates it.

Phillip thanks his interpreter for getting there so quickly.

Stephanie thinks it's odd that Max should be interested in the "scribble-scratch" in Nick's binder. She doesn't think he could understand it anyway. This hurts Max' feelings. Stephanie tells him, "You're special, too. Just in a different way. My knight in shining armor."

"You might not always think of me that way," says Max.

"Why not?"

"Never mind."

Some drunk wonders where the bartender is. Max announces that it is time for his shift and he goes to work.

Morgan hands Nick his binders and tells him he shouldn't leave them lying around, "I have something to tell you about our friend Max."

Patch serves popcorn with Parmesan cheese. Kayla pops one in her mouth, gags and nearly has the baby on the spot. Patch takes the bowl from her and tosses the popcorn in the wastebasket, "I should have made it the way we always do."

Kayla corrects him, "You mean the way I always do."

"Right," says Patch, "How is that you do it?"

"Three minutes in a microwave," she says.

"Don't you get a little uncomfortable in there," he asks.

"How did you ever survive without me?"

"I don't know baby."

Kayla invites him to sit down. She snuggles in and asks why he is being so good to her. He evades and mentions her pregnancy. "You haven't taken your eyes off me," says Kayla.

"You mean my eye."

She asks if this has something to do with what Abe was there about. He says he just likes being close to her.

The interpreter tells Phillip Chloe was talking to her agent, "She said he owes her because she made him a lot of money and asked him not to tell anyone she threatened Brady. She didn't mean it when she said, 'I'll kill you.' She said if he keeps quiet, she'll owe him."

Chloe walks into the room, "What's going on here?"


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Specific, But Vague

We peer into Stefano's eyes. A hand reaches for the doorknob to his room and opens the door. Anna steps in and tells Tony she is totally creeped-out to be there.
Marlena arrives at the mansion at John's request. John asks her to take her coat off and stay a while. He offers her coffee, which Marlena rejects. John is amazed there is a full-time cook in residence. He scared the hell out of him, but makes damn fine coffee.

Marlena urges John to give Stefano's fortune away because it's blood money. John says, "That's not gonna happen. Anyway, I was wondering if you would help me."

Bespectacled Sami sets a baby monitor on the coffee table and flops onto her couch. No sooner does she get down than there is a knock at the door. Sami huffs and goes to answer it, finding EJ. Sami tells him Johnny is napping but has been awake since 4AM. EJ thinks she should have called him for help. He wants to talk about last night. Sami sighs, "EJ, the only thing I want to talk to you about it how quickly we can get that annulment."

Bo wakes and looks up at hovering Hope, "Good news, I made it through the night."

"You'll continue doing that," says Hope, "We are going to spend all the Days Of Our Lives together."

"Does that mean you are going to keep my urn at the house," asks Bo.

Things are tense outside in the waiting area. Chelsea tells Shawn she couldn't get through this alone. Shawn wishes he and Chelsea had been closer. "We were close," says Chelsea, "You were the brother I didn't kill. I can't take it. They say Dad's pancreas is shutting down."

Victor overhears, "OMG! Bo has pancreatic cancer?"

Lexie jumps in and says it's not cancer. Victor is relieved, "No sign of cancer is a good thing, right?"

"I don't know," says Lexie, "I missed that class in med school."

Hope tells Bo the test results came back, and leaves him hanging.

Victor has a meltdown, "Dammit, Lexie, what's happening with Bo?"

Lexie says, "Whatever it is, it's out of my field of specialty. It involves medicine."

Bo gives hope his puppy-dog eyes, "How long do I have?" Hope leaves him hanging.

Sami lets EJ in, but only so the neighbors won't know their business. He agrees to the annulment, but says he has enjoyed playing house. Sami doesn't want to go on pretending. He offers to draw up the paperwork himself. Sami wants to have Mickey do it, "If we're going to botch this up, we might as well do a good job of it." Crying babies interrupt the fun. EJ goes in with Sami to help.

Anna feels like Stefano is staring at her. Tony assures her he can't see anything. He bends down to Stefano, "Can you hear me?"

"Yes," thinks Stefano, "But I can't tell you."

Anna is ready to go. Tony isn't finished. Anna waits outside. Tony wonders if Stefano has regrets. We have a flashback to Stefano working on John. Tony leans over the foot of Stefano's bed and looks him in the eye, "I wonder if you'll ever know the true extent of all your evil."

John asks, "What do you say Blondie, are you going to help me with this mess?"

John offers to pay her 10% of everything they get if she will help. Marlena says she wouldn't do it for ten times that. "That would be 100%," says John, who is one of the few people in Salem bright enough to do math. The doorbell interrupts. John answers and finds Belle and Claire standing there.

"Hi Pop-pop!" Claire also says hi.

Sami and EJ have successfully gotten the twins back to sleep. Sami thinks it's easier when she has help. EJ thinks the annulment is cut and dried and they don't need a lawyer. A deliveryman comes to the door looking for the guy across the hall. EJ announces that's him and the deliveryman gives him a certified letter. Proof of identity is not required for a certified letter in Salem.

John says he is busy. Claire begs to come in. John caves in, and offers her juice. "It's a little early in the day to start drinking," says Claire. John asks Claire if she wants to be his assistant. She agrees to that, so John carries her to the desk, gives her a pen and tells her to write everything she can remember. Claire scribbles. She proudly holds up the paper. It looks more like everything Belle can remember.

John wonders why Belle came. She says what with OMB's death and all, she has been thinking of him. John thinks her sentiment would make a terrific greeting card. He suggests she come back Saturday. Belle sulks off and pouts. Marlena scolds John, "That was mean." She comforts Belle, "He's not himself."

Belle decides they should go. She gives John a picture of Claire and him. Claire fiddles with the junk on the desk and comes up with a CD, "What is this?"

Tony wonders what Stefano had planned for John. Stefano thinks John has no past or future and will never get either back, "He will never know how."

Hope insists Bo won't die, "You have no choice. You know how cranky I get when I haven't had enough beauty sleep."

"Yeah, you haven't had enough beauty sleep in years," says Bo.

Victor rages at Lexie. He'll bring in experts, actual doctors, and won't lose Bo. Caroline steps up behind them, "Neither will I."

Tony is there to reassure himself Stefano can't hurt anyone else. He says goodbye and leaves. Stefano has another flashback where he shows John the disc with John's entire life on it.

John looks at the disc, "Not labeled. Probably blank."

"If it's blank," says Belle, "That must be the disc that restores my mind."

John urges Claire to go home. He promises she can come back. Belle scoops her up and says they will come back on Saturday. The doorbell rings again. This time it's Richard Griffin, Stefano's lawyer. He says he has interesting news about Stefano's estate.

EJ takes the letter. He says he'll look at it later. He reminds Sami he went to law school and would be capable of drawing up the annulment papers. Sami still wants Mickey to look it over, but says she is OK with EJ doing it. EJ is going to get started right away. He heads for the door.

Hope says, "You are going to do what I say, Brady. You're weak, I can definitely take you."

"What does that have to do with me being weak," asks Bo.

The crowd outside talks about Bo's condition. Victor promises he won't let Bo die. Caroline says, "I think Bo's life is in God's hands."

"That's what I said," says Victor, "I won't let Bo die."

Shawn tries to comfort Chelsea. She worries that she will lose Bo.

Richard looks around the room and gives John a look that says he wants to talk privately. "They're family," says John, "At least that's what they tell me."

Richard says he is the executor of Stefano's estate, or at least part of the vast empire. He has Stefano's will and associated documents, which tell how Stefano wanted his estate distributed, "The documents are specific, but vague."

John needs time to wrap his mind around that one. He decides to call a DiMera meeting and invites Marlena to stay.

EJ gets his call from John and agrees to be there. He tells Sami that was John, who wants him to come to the mansion. He invites Sami to go with him and she agrees, "I'll get a babysitter."

"Which one," says EJ.

"The one the twins are starting to call 'Mommy.'"

Anna paces. She begs Tony to go. Tony gets his call to the mansion and agrees to be there. Anna will tag along.

Caroline and Victor enter Bo's room.

Chelsea and Shawn go through the old 'don't want to lose Bo' scene again. Blah, whine, hugs.

Back at the mansion, the kid amuses herself with a coloring book. So does Claire. The crowd has arrived, except for Lexie, who has her hands full with an actual medical case. Richard says although Stefano isn't dead, he is permanently incapacitated and his treatment has stopped.

John sighs, "Yeah, why spend more money on doctors when you can put it in your pocket?"

Marlena scolds, "That was a little harsh, John."

Richard says Stefano never assigned anyone power of attorney, so Richard must appoint the person capable of carrying on Stefano's legacy. EJ asks, "Which one of us gets that dubious honor?" John smiles.

Shawn and Chelsea keep it up. Shawn assures her, "We'll support Dad." That'll cure him.

Lexie thinks Bo's mystery ailment might be genetic, "His family might have a faulty pancreas. That might mean the pancreas is closely associated with the brain." Bo wants the bottom line. Lexie says if they know the cause of this it will determine the course of treatment. Then she launches into some real gibberish about how his recent motorcycle accident might be related to this because if he has a predisposition to this his weakened body may have triggered it.

Bo recognizes a crock when he hears it, "Just tell me how long I have." She leaves him hanging.

Richard announces Lexie is out of Stefano's will. Tony and EJ haven't been behaving, so they are out, too, "There is, however, a generous trust for Giovanni." Sami don' wan' no stinkin' trust.

Little Johnny pipes in over the baby monitor, "Speak for yourself, Mommy." Richard reminds Sami it's not her trust in the first place, so she can butt out. "Amen to that," says Johnny.

John grows impatient, "I'm paying you by the hour. Who gets the old man's money?"

"There is only one surviving blood relative," says Richard.

"Whoa, huh, wha... huh, waitaminute," say Tony and EJ in unison, "Stefano didn't know about being related to John."

Richard says Stefano just knew he didn't want the money to go to Tony and EJ. Marlena asks just how much money is involved, "There are tens of millions," says Richard.

"There's my new jet," says John.

Marlena makes a note never to fly on it, "You're not thinking of keeping that money, are you?"

Lexie gives Bo her best medical advice, "Hang in there." Victor vows to get more opinions.

Shawn and Chelsea walk into the room. Hugs from Chelsea. They're gong to help him beat this.

John gives Marlena a look, "You don't think I should keep tens of millions? For a shrink you're working the wrong side of the couch." Marlena says she's disappointed in him. John has some advice, "Lower your expectations and you'll never be disappointed."

Richard says he will get all information to John. John's eyes light up, "SCORE!"

"Not today you won't," says Marlena.

Richard, Tony and Anna leave. As Sami starts to leave, John says he'll send her the trust info. He tells EJ not to worry because in time he would have been cut out eventually anyway. EJ thinks his big mistake was ever telling people John was alive in the first place.

Belle says goodbye. Claire runs up to him, "Bye-bye, John." Smooch.

John goes for a cigar. Marlena says the man she knows would never have taken Stefano's money. John smirks. Marlena lectures, "This isn't a joke, you know."

"You're right," says John, "There is nothing funny about giving away that kind of money. I think I'll have a big steak to celebrate. How would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Letmethinkno," says Marlena. She walks out. John puts his feet up on the desk and lights his cigar.

We leave the episode where we started. We peer into Stefano's eyes. Oh, the artistry! Stefano remembers John telling him he will enjoy his life and all his things. Stefano's mind laughs, "John, you'll never know how close you are to finding your true identity. Your new life will be unbearable for your loved ones. They will wish you had stayed dead."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


The OMB wake is in full swing. It's as dull as watching DOOL without medication. Nick schmoozes with Maggie and Chelsea, "This is exactly what he would have wanted – the pub filled to the rafters with a bunch of depressed drunks." Maggie reminds us that the funeral was a somber occasion in memory of OMB but the good ole Irish wake is a time to celebrate his life with mirth, merriment and rampant, uncontrolled inebriation. It also gives Prevuze license to make all kinds of inappropriate remarks about the dearly departed.

Over across the room, Patch says, "He was a good dude. Let's celebrate that." The good dude rating is the Steve Johnson equivalent of the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

EJ tells Sami he feels out of place there. Sami tells him to tough it out.

Hope and Bo argue about taking Bo to the hospital. Hope gives up on arguing with Bo and moves over to Patch, "Bo's not doing well. Please keep an eye on him."

"One is all I've got," says Patch. Ava stalks.

Caroline wishes OMB were there. "We'd need more air freshener," says Roman.

Tony arrives at his office. He leers at his secretary and throws compliments. He tells her she can leave early today and asks her to call him Tony instead of Mr. DiMera. She gives him the Blackwell file and he asks about the Lumberg Agency. Gal Friday doesn't know anything about Lumberg, so Tony says he will take care of it himself.

Anna arrives in her office over at the aforementioned Lumberg Agency and sighs. She answers the phone and a nasty guy asks if she's brought in any clients. If she doesn't get anyone they'll be out of business. She promises to show Tony DiMera how to run an ad company.

Kimberly makes the first smarmy OMB toast. Roman follows with another. The crowd gets into the poetic Irish refrain. They all act like they actually know the endless poem and take turns with verses. They wind up in unison and Roman raises his glass, "To Pop!"

A drunk in the back of the room yells, "To beer! "

Anna calls Mr. Lumberg and says she's discovered the DiMera Agency has already snatched up their prospective clients. Her big strategy is to run over and check out the DiMera operation. Lumberg doesn't answer. He probably had a heart attack on the spot when he heard her brilliant strategy.

Tony barks orders into the phone. He hangs up, "This just doesn't seem right without you, Anna. You should be working with me." He chuckles and runs out. As he rushes past, he tells his secretary he's taking Anna to lunch. The secretary calls and makes reservations at the Nooner Smorgasbord.

Caroline and Kimberly get together and chat. Think of it as a plastic surgery gone-bad smackdown.

Bo thinks they should be celebrating. He still is stewing over the fact that OMB gave his life for him. Suddenly, he starts heaving like he just ate a Sami Brady home-cooked breakfast. Hope screams for Patch, "Steve, I need to get him to the hospital right away."

Patch says, "Go get the car. I'll bring him out."

Patch hauls Bo out of his chair, "How you doin' dude?"

"Never better."

On his way out, Bo assures Kimberly he's fine. She offers to cancel her flight. He urges her not to. They agree not to wait for another death until they see each other again. Out goes Bo as the crowd stares.

Tony arrives at the Lumberg Agency carrying flowers. He knocks on Anna's door but there is no answer. He goes into the empty office and sets the flowers on her desk. He tries out her chair, looks at her legal pad and chuckles.

Meanwhile, Anna goes through the same routine in Tony's office. Sans flowers.

Hope and Patch load the pile of flesh formerly known as Bo into the car. Bo asks Hope to stay and cover for him with Caroline. Hope reluctantly agrees. Hope turns and hugs patch as Ava stalks and takes pictures.

Kayla suggests Caroline stay with her and Patch for a while. Caroline declines.

John and Chloe decide they aren't having fun. Chloe thinks anyone there who looks like he is having fun is just covering the pain with alcohol. "Covering pain is something I need to do a little more of," says John, as he slugs one down.

Kimberly wonders if she should stay and help. Hope says, "There is nothing you can do. The damage to your face has already been done." She wishes Kimberly a safe flight and rushes over to Lexie. Dr. Lexie Carver, Chief of Staph, goes into action. Hope follows.

Max tells Roman he misses OMB. Roman says, "I miss him, too, baby brother."

Outside, Ava walks up to Hope, "I think it's time we met. Do you love him?"


"Steve Johnson," says Ava, "Do you love him?"

"When he's sober."

Tony leaves a note on Anna's legal pad, "My Dearest Anna. I came by today. No one was in the office. It's apparent your work force takes the same breaks as you. Why don't you join forces with me at DiMera Advertising?"

Meanwhile, Tony's secretary discovers Anna. Anna says, "Well, you must be Mr. DiMera's latest. I'm his ex."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. DiMera."

"I'm not just one of his ex -wives," says Anna, "I'm his ex secretary, too. He takes the word dictation to a whole new level. Has he given you the birth-control talk? I can't tell you how many assistants he's gotten pregnant. You'd think he'd get a vasectomy, but apparently the only ones he wants near his equipment are those working under him." Anna lays it on think, "I played the game, but after a month he fired me anyway. Then he married me. Then he divorced me. Can you beat that?"

Bo is in bed in his hospital room. He assures Patch he's OK. Patch decides to hang with Bo. Bo insists Kayla needs him and shoos him out.

Out in the hall, Patch tells the nurse to take good care of him. She goes in to hook him up to the monitors. Back inside Bo's room, the nurse finds him in cardiac arrest. Lexie runs in screaming for the crash cart.

Ava asks, "Do you love Steve?" Of course Hope loves him. Everybody loves loveable ole Patch. Once she has this valuable information, Ava hightails it.

EJ introduces himself to Kimberly. She gets all-indignant and starts to go. EJ asks her not to judge him because of his family. She says she judges him for what he did. EJ tells her he is soooooo sorry for all the sins he has committed. Kimberly says it takes a real man to admit his mistakes, and EJ's miraculous redemption continues right on schedule.

Kimberly tells Colleen she has to go. She offers to stay but Colleen says she doesn't have to do that. Hugs all around. Hugs and more hugs and off goes Kimberly until her next brief appearance.

Anna returns to her office and finds the flowers. She smiles until she finds Tony's note. She tears it up and huffs.

Tony returns to find his secretary packing. He wonders what she is doing. "When were you going to give me the birth control talk," asks Gal Friday.

"I would have thought you had that in sixth grade," says Tony.

"SIXTH GRADE," she screams, "YOU PERVERT!" She can't get out the door fast enough.

Lexie works on Bo. He comes back to life anyway.

Ava paces in her room and looks at pictures. She smooches a picture of Patch and moves through the rest of them: Belle, Chloe, Claire, Phillip, Kayla, OMB, John, Hope. She stops at Hope, "So you love Patch? BIG MISTAKE."

Hope bawls over Bo as Chelsea and Shawn rush in. Hope tells them he went into cardiac arrest.

"That's the first arrest he's had in months," says Shawn. Lexie comes in and announces the dreadful test results are in.

Patch tells Abe he has a name for him, "Ava Vitali V-I-T-A-L-I." He asks him to run it through the police computer as a favor.

"That's I-L-L-E-G-A-L," says Abe, "So you can count on me to do it." Patch is grateful for the favor.

Victor and Caroline share a tender moment. Caroline was in love with two men, but knew she had to build a life with one of them. Of course, you always have to test drive both before you decide.

Victor says, "Shawn gave his life for our son. Bo was more Shawn's son than mine."

Max goes into another maudlin toast-eulogy thingie, "Here's to pop. Now lets have this wake the way Pop would want it."

Anna goes through a stack of folders on her desk as Tony comes in. She sees him and huffs, "Well, I suppose..." Tony grabs her and roughs her up a bit. He kisses her and it looks like the Nooner Smorgasbord may be open for business.

Laughter in the pub. Belle tries another sappy toast-poem. The crowd is stunned she remembered all the words.

Roman tries one, "Some people say the glass is half-full. Some say it is half-empty. The Irish say, 'are you gonna drink that?'"

Phillip tries one. Then EJ tells them he has a couple of them but he can't repeat them. That does it. The crowd practically attacks him until he agrees to give his toasts. EJ relents, "So now, if you drink, right sure enough you'll get drunk. If you get drunk, you'll fall asleep. If you fall asleep, you can't sin. If you don't sin, you'll go to heaven... so let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

The crowd cheers. EJ has a million of 'em. "Why," he asks, "did God give the Irish whiskey." No one knows. "So they would stay on that bloody island and not conquer the world!" More cheers. The crowd must be really getting drunk.

Victor and Caroline try a couple of toasts. Everyone joins in. We all toast, then pan to the picture of Shawn over the bar... then to Caroline guzzling her booze. Such a touching tribute.

Lexie says Bo's pancreas is shutting down.

"What does that mean," asks Hope.


Bo vegetates. Hope cries.

Meanwhile, across town, Doug and Julie sit tied up in chairs while the little snots trash the house...


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Inevitable

Roman is alone in the sanctuary before OMB's funeral. He lights a candle and sits alone in a pew. Marlena joins him.

Marlena says she stopped by Roman's Place to see if he wanted a ride but he had already left. Roman says he came to the church early because he wanted to spend a few moments alone with OMB. "Actually," says Roman, "It's the most interesting conversation I've had with him in a long time."

Roman philosophizes about parents getting older and preparing for the inevitable, he himself being on the threshold of the inevitable. They approach the casket and Roman tells OMB he will miss him. John arrives and surveys the scene.

Shawn, Chelsea and Hope come into Bo's hospital room. Lexie reluctantly releases him so he can go to the funeral. Hope asks for a word with Lexie. Out in the hall Hope says, "I need you to tell me the truth. Am I gonna lose my husband?"

"I doubt it," says Lexie, "It looks like Bo's luck has run out."

Patch closes the blinds in the pub as Kayla, Stephanie and Max help get things ready. Caroline joins them. Caroline isn't hungry so, of course, Stephanie goes to make her some oatmeal. Caroline gives the obligatory message from Frankie who couldn't make it due to another commitment. Caroline breaks down, "I just don't know if I can do this."

Kimberly comes in right on cue, "You can do it because you have the love and support of your family."

Hugs all around. Kimberly tells Kayla she is thrilled about the news of baby #2. Baby #1 comes in and greets her. Max asks if Shane and the ISA have figured out who sabotaged the plane – they are responsible for Shawn's death. The group decides to focus on other things today. Caroline changes the subject, "You look wonderful, Kimberly. "What is your beauty secret?"

"I don't usually tell," says Kimberly, "All I can say is my motto is 'promise them anything, but give them formaldehyde.'"

Lexie doesn't want to speculate about Bo's condition or, God forbid, make a diagnosis. Hope rants about not knowing what's wrong with him, "He has to be OK. The kitchen floor needs mopping."

John says he is there to pay his respects. John and Roman go though the convoluted and mind-boggling Brady family structure and figure out they are cousins. John gives Roman and Marlena a suspicious look and says he didn't mean to interrupt. Marlena thinks he sounds jealous. John says he just thinks they are a little too cozy for a divorced couple. Roman says he and Marlena have been friends all these years. They tell John he never minded their friendship, which surprises Automa-John. Marlena assures him he and Roman remained close. "We were good," says Roman.

"Well, in that case," says John, "I owe you a hug." John throws his arms around Roman.

Marlena gives us a nervous smile, "This is a guy-hug, right?"

Sami, EJ, Chloe and Phillip arrive. Sami's in a mood. She gets on Chloe about not coming forward about Brady. EJ the conciliator tries to mitigate things and introduces himself to Chloe.

Phillip is surprised EJ has never heard of Chloe the world famous opera diva, "Perhaps you haven't heard of her because you're too busy ruining other people's lives." Apparently, Phillip is in a mood, too. He turns to Sami and lays into her, "Have you even talked to my brother or have you..." He looks at EJ, "been preoccupied?" Sami ignores it and tells Roman Lucas sends his condolences. Having done as much damage as can be done out there, Phillip takes Chloe inside.

Sami covers for the conspicuous absences of Will, Austin, Carrie, and Eric. "That's ok," says Roman, "At least cousin John will be here."

Back at the pub, Kimberly tells Caroline, "Let me drive you to the church, all right?"

Victor steps in, "Actually, I was hoping to do that."

We have an uncomfortable silence as the pub crowd files past Victor giving him a series of dirty looks as they all leave. Kimberly hangs behind and asks why he is there. "To take your mother to church," says Victor.

Kimberly finds it odd he wants to be a source of comfort right now. Victor insists he made peace with Caroline and OMB. Kimberly keeps up with her little snit but Caroline stops her and sends her packing. Kimberly can't resist a parting shot, "Mother just lost the love of her life. I'd appreciate if you don't take advantage."

Victor says he wouldn't do anything to hurt her.

Kimberly threatens, "If you do you'll answer to me." She huffs out.

Victor says, "You and Shawn certainly raised some feisty children."


"Their lips sometimes move faster than their brains," says Victor, "But with all that collagen weighing them down, I'm kind of surprised Kimberly's lips can move at all."

Bo and Roman sit in a pew and talk. "With Pop gone," says Bo, "there will be a big empty hole in the family. But enough talk about Shawn's brain." They reminisce about OMB and vow mutual support. They both think they have a good sense of humor and that will help them though. This leads to a contest about who has the best sense of humor. There is no real winner because a sense of humor implies having some sort of sense.

Hope interrupts with the mandatory kid report, "Ciara is napping at Doug and Julie's but they have their hands full with all those other kids."

"Ciara...," says Bo, "That name rings a bell."

Shawn and Belle meet up with Kayla, Patch, Stephanie and Max outside. Patch sends the crowd inside and, for whatever stupid reason decides to take a stroll in the woods, where Ava sees him and runs. Patch chases.

Patch bumps into Lexie and Abe. In spite of the fact he's breathing like he's in the middle of a heart attack, he insists he's OK, but asks to talk to Abe later. Abe agrees, and they all head into the church. Patch hangs back and surveys the woods.

Caroline says she doesn't think it's appropriate for her to go to the funeral with Victor. She thinks people will talk, and reminds him of Hope's hotline to the Salem Enquirer gossip desk. Victor insists people know they were friends. Caroline thinks Victor was a little too friendly. She knows OMB is grateful Victor is there for her but she's going on her own, "I'll walk. Shawn will walk beside me. It will be our last stroll together before he goes to heaven."

With Caroline spewing dialogue like that, Victor is happy to go to the church by himself.

The crowd grows at the church, including all the extras who have never even laid eyes on OMB. Maggie and Marlena talk about John. Sami joins in. Maggie wonders if they will ever get him back. Marlena dunno.

Roman and Kimberly hug. She asks how Bo is doing. Bo gets on Kayla for having a big mouth and yapping about his illness. Roman confesses to being the bigmouth, not Kayla. They banter around about who has the biggest mouth in the family. Kimberly the Collagen Queen wins.

Kimberly, Roman and Kayla go up to the coffin, hold hands and smile. Bo joins them.

Outside, Nick finds Chelsea and comforts her. "I'm really going to miss him," says Chelsea, "Even though we never actually spoke to each other."

EJ tells Sami just by looking at them he can just tell how much the family cares for each other. "When did you go blind," asks Sami. The redeemed EJ hopes he someday can do as well as OMB did. Sami senses it's getting a little thick, and goes to call The Williams Orphanage to check on the twins.

Victor comes in and sits behind Phillip. Perceptive Roman notices he came in alone and asks Kimberly where she thinks Caroline might be.

Before people can get their buns in an uproar, Caroline comes in and tells EJ she's glad he made it. He says he wasn't about to let her down. EJ escorts her to the front and she sits with Bo and Roman.

Roman gives the eulogy. He says he knows OMB would want him to keep it short so they can get back over to the pub to raise a couple of pints to his memory, "I am very honored Pop was my father. He taught me about hard work. I never did any, but he taught me." Roman thanks John for putting up the money for the pub. "Second," says Roman, "Pop taught me honesty. And third, he taught me always to hang on to my oxygen mask on a plane. He and my mom had an incredible marriage. They had rough spots but came out stronger. Pop's spirit lives on through his entire family. Hard work, honesty and love will be his legacy. Thank you, Pop, for everything. I love you."

Kimberly steps up and says OMB was known for his temper but she realized it was only because he cared so much. She wishes she had been around more and hopes he knew how much she loved him.

Kayla talks about fishing with OMB. It gave them an excuse to talk, as if Kayla needed one. As she got older the fishing trips became less frequent. One of the last took place before her wedding. We flash back to the fishing trip. Kayla kisses the coffin and tells him she will miss him.

Bo reminds everyone OMB wasn't his biological father. He says they didn't get along when he was growing up. Bo was a pain in the keister, but OMB was always there for him even after he found out the deep dark terrible secret. OMB had a heart full of love.

Flashback to OMB toasting the family.

Diva Chloe sings, "May all your days be filled with grace and beauty, And all your nights fly swiftly toward the dawn. May God’s great love go with you on your journey, And God’s spirit be in your song." There isn't a dry eye in the house, but Chloe vows to hit a few of the notes the next time she sings.

The crowd files up to the coffin and most of them leave a little memento on top as they leave the sanctuary. Marlena drags out a bewildered John. We pan to Bo, Kimberly, Kayla and Roman. Max hugs Caroline.

Flashback – Caroline remembers an anniversary. She goes to OMB's casket, "May the earth rest easy over you when you are laid under it. May it rest so easy that your spirit will fly up from under it and make its way to God. Goodbye Shawn. I will love you for all the Days Of Our Liv... forever."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Your Whore Of A Mother

And the award for best soap opera with no writing, no plot and multiple storylines that make no sense goes to...

Belle and Sami (BS) meet outside the pub have a whinefest. They decide the family will never be the same now that OMB has gone to the Big Pub In The Sky.

"This place is just so him," says Sami. They decide to focus on Caroline. Poor Caroline.

Inside, it's hugs and tears as the family makes the arrangements with Father Jansen. Hope is on the way to the hospital because Bo had to have more tests. She's going over there to help him study. Ciara and Claire are with Maggie at Mrs. Horton's. EJ comes in with the twins. So there you have it... a full baby inventory. Except maybe for Pocket.

Patch rants at Kayla for getting out of bed. She rants back and wonders how his ribs are. "My ribs are fine," he quips, "With a nice spicy Memphis dry rub." He wants her to give the bun in the oven time to rise. She wants him to stop using stupid metaphors.

Finally she agrees to go rest for an hour. "And then I'm going jogging."

"Over my dead body."

Smooch, "Don't tempt me."

Kayla goes into the bedroom and Patch makes a call, "How soon can you meet me? I'll be right there." Patch hustles over and opens the door. GUESS WHO?? Stephanie is standing there and they both jump back. He tells her he's on his way out. Stephanie panics and thinks this is about Kayla.

John huffs, puffs and tosses documents. Marlena comes in. "So far things look legit," says John. He wants to see Stefano and asks Marlena to help him get in to see him, "That sick, twisted bastard is my family. Come on, could be fun."

Caroline suggests Sami could have dropped the twins off with Maggie and Alice. "Maggie and Alice will be just fine," says Sami, "As long as they have Claire and Ciara watching them." Sami thinks EJ is getting pretty good at being a nanny.

Roman is on a first name basis with Father Tim. He tells him he would like to do the eulogy. Everyone huddles around Caroline, who insists she is fine, right before falling apart.

Sami asks if Shawn and Belle are back together. Belle tells her they are, "There is a lot of comfort in being with the love of your life. And if I can't have that, at least I have Shawn."

Ava stares at a picture of her and Patch in happier times.

Patch tells Stephanie his ribs are killing him and he was going on an errand. Stephanie doesn't buy any of it. He has her come in and tells her there is something he has to deal with. Stephanie says, "Papa, I wish you would tell me what's going on."

Papa mumbles, "And I wish you'd go back to Dayton and finish your racing career."

Stephanie thinks he's hiding something. Sometimes," she says, "you act before you think. The rest of the time, you think after you act." Kayla interrupts. Patch wants to know what she is doing out of bed. With any luck, she came out to duct tape his mouth shut. Kayla says she got hungry. Stephanie chimes in and says she's done research about what Kayla craved when she was pregnant with her, back in the Stone Age. She knows Kayla is going to want chips and dip. Since Patch is already there, Stephanie leaves to get the chips. Kayla thinks Patch is being overprotective. Patch takes that to the limit and makes her go back in the bedroom to lie down. Once Kayla is out of the way, Patch makes a call and says he got hung up, then leaves.

Outside the pub, Caroline meets EJ and says she knows how he feels.

Seeing Stefano is not Marlena's idea of fun. In that case, John says he wants to go in alone. Reverse psychology works even on a psychologist. Marlena does a one-eighty and says she thinks it might be worth the risk if it will help get his memory back.

The doorbell rings on their way out. It's Abe. He tells Marlena, "John and I have unfinished business." He holds up his badge, "Police business."

Abe says John has never been released from protective custody. He won't let John leave and says he hasn't forgotten Marlena snuck him out of the hospital. He thinks John is dangerous. Marlena insists he's not Stefano's soldier anymore.

John turns to her, "You're even prettier when you're angry."

"Prettier than what," asks Marlena.

"Don't go there," says John.

Abe says he has the authority to hold John for 72 hours. John insists he isn't a threat and can prove it with a phone call.

Shawn and Roman talk about OMB and Bo. They decide to get the keg for the wake and have a rip roarin' back slappin' good time on the way to the basement. "We want to give Shawn a sendoff he would enjoy," says Roman.

"In that case," says Shawn, "We'd better get two kegs."

Caroline tells EJ she knows the look that says, "I've made mistakes and don't know how to fix them." She has been there. The worst mistake she made was betraying her wedding vows. She's willing to talk to EJ if that will help. She sees how much he cares about Sami. She advises him not to dwell on his mistakes. Something good came from her affair with Victor. And they had Bo, too. She invites him to Shawn's funeral, "Shawn's death has made us realize you have to live every moment until you die."

"What other choice would you have," asks EJ.

Stephanie gets back with the junk food. Kayla greets her and says Patch told her he had an errand to run. They go into the bedroom arguing about what to watch. Stephanie doesn't want to watch something Kayla might find interesting, like a bunch of old women yakking. Kayla doesn't want to watch something Stephanie might find interesting, like the test pattern.

Ava dials, "I need your help. Daddy won't let me out of here again. He found out I went to see Patch. I need you to find out everything you can bout Patch."

Patch gets back home and hears the TV in the next room. He hyperventilates, takes out his gun and puts it in the inside pocket of his jacket, and then hangs the jacket over a chair. He dials, "Hey man, that info did not trace back to Ava. I'm not crazy. She is here. She got to me, man, and people died because of her. I have to find her and stop her before she does it again."

Sami wheels the twins and asks where Caroline is as Caroline and EJ come back in. Caroline continues to insist she is OK. She tells Sami it's OK for her to take the kids home. EJ packs everything up, takes control of the baby buggy and heads out the door, "The EJ express leaving town." Sami follows.

Caroline says Shawn thought this was the best pub for a wake so Caroline wants him to have the best send off any guy ever had. She issues orders to the remaining crew and everyone goes into action, if you can call anything in this episode 'action,' that is.

Ava is still on the phone, "Daddy is very generous. I can get as much money as I want from him, but he keeps things from me. I need to know everything about Patch and that bitch he married."

Meanwhile, Patch continues his conversation, "There is no record about where she is living. I know about the old man and how he protects his little girl. Keep digging. What I do then is none of your damn business. Both of you are part of my past I want to forget about. When I disappeared back then that was no accident. I have a new life and I can't let my past touch my family again."

Lexie arrives at the mansion after receiving the call from John. He wants Lexie to tell Abe he doesn't need to go back to the hospital. Lexie and Marlena vouch for John.

"As a trained psychiatrist," says Marlena, "I can tell you, this man is a danger to no one." Translation: Look out, Salem, John is on the loose.

Abe insists he is John's friend, but the man in front of him isn't John. Finally, he relents and tells John he is free, "I will be watching you." Robert DeNiro steps in and shows Abe how to point toward his eyes and then John's when he says that. John and Marlena leave.

The arrangements are made at the pub. Roman asks Caroline what she said to EJ. She fills him in. Roman asks if she thinks Stefano's son can change. Caroline insists everyone can change. And the award for the most unbelievable redemption of an unredeemable character goes to...

Patch flashes back to the threatening card as Stephanie and Kayla come out of the bedroom. He has brought chips and salsa but Stephanie has beaten him to the punch. Once again, he lectures Kayla for not resting, "At least sit down."

"You first," says Kayla. They sit. Stephanie decides to leave. Patch asks her not to go. "Why not?" And the award for the most boring scene ever...

Stefano lies in bed. John and Marlena walk in and stare.

Stephanie wants to know if this has anything to do with their conversation before. Kayla's antennae pop up and she wants to know what that's all about. Patch tells her they were just talking about taking care of her.

Over on the other side of the room, paint dries on a wall. Finally we get something happening in this episode that isn't so boring.

Stephanie has to go. Patch badgers her about where she will be. Stephanie reminds them she has a cell phone. She says she loves the fact they are so into each other but sometimes it's embarrassing. Finally, she makes her escape.

"Well," says Patch, "we embarrass our daughter. How does that make you feel?" They decide they don't feel bad about that. Patch attends to her Kayla's other cravings.

Ava threatens the person on the phone. She'll tell daddy how he has helped. Her, "Nobody walks away from me. Patch did. And now he has to pay. I'm going to tie him up, sit him in front of a TV and make him watch this episode of DOOL over and over."

EJ tells Sami he thinks Caroline believes in him. Sami thinks Caroline is grieving. That makes her remember OMB, and she breaks down. She says she doesn't even remember the last thing she said to him, and can't believe they have lost another member of the family. Sami can't take it. She collapses into EJ's arms. EJ comforts her and kisses the top of her head. Finally, Sami calms down and apologizes for doing that. She leaves the room dazed and confused.

John taunts the catatonic Stefano, "Your undoing was your ego, you smug SOB. The two people you brought together were the last two you should have ever brought together – my mother and me. Colleen. Your nemesis. She and Santo had a bastard kid. Me. I'm their son – your half brother."

Stephano's mind rages, "No! That is impossible!"

"How's that for irony," asks John, "Your plan almost worked. I came this close to cutting her throat but something stopped me."

Stephano thinks, "I still own part of you. I always will."

"You're gonna hate this part," says John, "She died happy. Your family turned on you and condemned you to remain like this for all the Days Of Our Lives. I hope you're enjoying your new life because I will enjoy your old one. Your house is now my house. I'm going to drink your booze, smoke your cigars, eat your food and sleep in your bed. Before long it will be as though you never existed." He turns to Marlena, "Let's go, Blondie."

Trapped inside his mind, Stephano blows a gasket, "Damn you John! Damn you and your whore of a mother!"


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Poor Ciara

Well, usually it's the kid's picture on the carton but in this case...

Enjoy the weekend, and if you happen to see Bo or Hope, please notify poor Ciara immediately.

Friday, February 22, 2008

I'll Meet You In Heaven And Kick The Hell Out Of You

Roman is visits Bo in his hospital room. Bo tells him Hope is worn out and is sleeping, "The duties of letting someone else take care of her infant have just exhausted her."

"How do you feel," asks Roman.

"Like a million... pennies," says Bo.

"Crummy old pennies," asks Roman.

"Why would you ask that," asks Bo.

"Because we've always suspected you of being a... [are you ready for this one?] dirty copper."

Roman says the NTSB will want to talk to Bo about what happened in the plane, but Roman wants to question him about it, too. "Does the SPD jurisdiction extend to Greenland," asks Bo.

"Of course," says Roman, "Our jurisdiction must be world-wide. Whad'ya think, we're a bunch of small time screw-ups? Heck, no. We are world-class screw ups and proud of it."

Bo fills him in on what happened, missing a few details.

Roman gets philosophical, "You know what they say about landings..."

Bo knows, "Any landing you can walk away from is a good one. It wasn't such a good landing for Pop. They reminisce about OMB.

Patch sleeps and gurgles in his hospital bed. Kayla wakes him up. He asks how she's doing. Kayla says she's doing well. "How about the little peanut," asks Patch.

"A goober just like his daddy," says Kayla.

Patch feels like he's ready to get back in the ring. Not with 'The Fridge,' though. He tells her the sooner she goes back to her room the sooner they will let them out of there. Kayla asks, "You gonna be good?"

"Am I ever anything but?"

"Hack." Kayla nearly chokes up Peanut.

After Kayla leaves, Patch digs out the threatening card and stares. With one eye, of course.

The Thetas gather with Chelsea and Stephanie for the inquisition. Sister Bambi tells Chelsea, "You know, you might be off the hook with the cops Chelsea, but you're not off the hook with us."

Stephanie gives Chelsea a look that says, "Oh, boy. Things are going to get juicy," but she defends her. The bimbos gang up. They claim they were a-scared and Chelsea didn't trust them. They've decided she told the truth, though and had the most to lose. They admire that. Admire yes, understand, no. So the verdict is... She's in! Oh, lucky Chelsea. Morgan gives her a sisterly hug, then they share the Theta handshake, which mimics the moves of a surgeon doing liposuction.

Shawn and Belle come into Bo's room with Claire. They also bring Caroline. Upon seeing Caroline, everyone gets a bit uncomfortable.

Patch and Kayla get back home after their double-miracle-recovery. Snuggling on the couch is tough in Patch's condition. Kayla asks what it was he was going to say last night. Patch stammers. He claims he doesn't remember what it was. He bribes her into lying down by promising to go get something to eat. The way to Kayla's heart is through her stomach, and that's a highway that continues to expand.

Hugs all around in Bo's room. Caroline wants to talk about OMB. Belle decides the conversation will be uncomfortable, so she takes Claire to get some candy, "If we can't kill you off by force feeding you junk food, we'll at least make your teeth rot out." Bo tells Caroline OMB died because of him. Shawn and Roman chime in telling her what happened on the plane.

"Grandpa died so that his family could live," says Shawn.

Bo blames himself. Caroline insists OMB made a choice, just as Bo would give up his life for Shawn. And Shawn says he would sacrifice his life for Claire. If we keep up this train of thought we may be able to get rid of the whole lot.

Bo says, "I'm sick. What if Pop did this for nothing?"

Lexie steps into the room, "He did not do it for nothing. If nothing else, none of us has to go looking for him wandering the streets at night in his bathrobe again."

Patch wanders through the seedy side of Salem tailed by a pair of long legs in nylons and pumps. Could it be... could it be... Jack Devereaux?

Patch turns and discovers the Mystery Woman. He rushes her and slams her up against a wall, "It was you, eh?"

"I was hoping you knew it was me," she says. They fight, and Mr. Uglycreep comes out of nowhere and helps whomp Patch. He collapses in a heap and asks what she is doing there. "We never said goodbye, PATCH," she snarls, "Or should I call you Steve?"

Patch scrapes his guts off the pavement and gets up, "If that's all you want, AVA... goodbye."

That's not all Ava wants. WHAM! Right in the old bread basket. "You said you wanted me to have your baby," screams Ava.

Right about now, Patch feels like he's going to have hers. "I changed my mind," he grunts.

"I guess the new Steve will have to pay for the old Patch's mistake," says Ava, "I want you back."

Patch groans, "Yeah, well, you got my front. You've sure got a funny way of showing me you want me back." Ava thinks he needs to suffer the way she has. She vows to get him back.

He figures out her people sabotaged the plane. She admits it but says they did too much, "Bottom line... You didn't die."

Patch points out that others did, "Are you really that crazy?"

"Daddy doesn't like me to get out of the house much," says wacko Ava, "Sometimes I get away. I got to Ireland and I got out today. That's pretty good for me, eh?"

"You're sick," says Patch. She wants him to go with her. Ava backs away as Patch huffs and puffs. As she backs up, she rolls her eyes at her partner. She moves away as Mr. Uglycreep moves in. Patch laces into him. Uglycreep collapses, but the whole thing didn't do Patch's ribs much good. As he staggers off he tells Ava to keep away from his family.

Ava stares, "It's not over."

Oh, we are just so happy at the sorority. They all need to start thinking about what they should do when they get out of school, since jobs are out of the question. They look over available internships. Chelsea finds something, "Here's one for an intern in the Clinton administration. Oh, never mind. It's for a guy."

Lexie vows Bo won't die. She asks for a word alone with him. The gang leaves after a chain of tearful goodbyes. When it's Roman's turn, he leans over Bo and says, "If you don't recover I'll meet you in heaven and kick the hell out of you."

God turns to Roman, "You might want to plan on meeting him somewhere else."

Chelsea finds an internship at a news station but fortunately Max arrives just in time to break up this nonsense about the possibility of actually getting a job. Stephanie hugs him and offers condolences. Chelsea doesn't know what to say, "I'm not good at the whole... this kind of thing."

"It's called conversation," says Max. Chelsea goes to check on Bo.

Max says he never got a chance to say goodbye to OMB. Stephanie insists OMB loved him, "I'm sure he wanted to tell you that as he took his last breath."

"He probably wanted oxygen more," says Max. Hugs. Morgan watches.

Patch comes back with cheeseburgers, chocolate shakes and fries, from Buddy's Burger Barn. The slogan on the sack says "We make your unborn baby fat so you won't have to." Suddenly, Patch hears a huge noise. It's probably Kayla crashing through the floor after eating those burgers and fries.

Patch wonders what the heck that was. Kayla tells him it's been going on since just after he left. Patch decides his meds have run out and gets up to get some. On the way, he locks the front door. "Expecting trouble," asks Kayla.

Bo and Caroline share a tender moment talking about OMB. Caroline goes on and on, "He was loyal, caring... There is a whole list of things he was... trustworthy, generous, senile... hardworking..."

"I remember how devastated I was when he told me there was no Santa Claus," says Bo, "It was one of the worst moments on my trip to Ireland last week."

Bo breaks down, "He was there for me at the end." Caroline says he's there for Bo now and all his children. "He'll always be there for you, too," says Bo. They fall into each other's arms crying.

Morgan stomps into the room and hugs Max. Max wishes he had been there with OMB when he went, "I could have used up even more oxygen." Max thinks maybe it would have been better if he were the one to die, since OMB was a much better man than he ever could be.

Stephanie and Morgan tell him what he wants to hear – what a great guy he is, "We are," say it with them, "there for you."

"I'm sorry for being such a wus," says Max.

"No need to apologize," says Stephanie, "You are what you are." Stephanie leaves so she can check on Patch and Kayla. Smoochie. As she goes he thanks her.

Kayla cleans up after the exercise in gluttony. She looks at a picture of Caroline and OMB and goes all maudlin on us.

Patch tries to encourage her, "Your pop went out on his own terms saving the people he loves. I would do that for you and Stephanie."

BOOM-KNOCK-BANG! Patch jumps out of his skin. Kayla wonders why he is so jumpy. He says it's left over adrenaline from the plane crash. They decide they are safe together. He suggests she go lie down and he will join her. Kayla goes into the bedroom. Patch grabs his gun and then chains the door.

Morgan tells Max, "You know Stephanie loves you and trusts you."

"There is no reason she shouldn't," says Max. Morgan says if it were her, she would never let him out of her sight. She knows Max doesn't love her and is ready to move on as friends. Max hugs her and says he doesn't want to lose her as a friend, "You can be the first runner up."

Bo asks Lexie what's the worst-case scenario. Lexie says she doesn't know what's wrong with him, "Making diagnoses isn't my strong suit." Bo wants her to tell him before she tells his family. The Fridge wheels him out.

Patch buries the gun between the couch cushions as the lock on the door rattles. He digs the gun out, cocks it and hides behind the door. The chain stops the door.

Patch wheels around and nails the intruder, "Hey!"

"Geez," says Stephanie, "It's harder getting in here than a safe. Patch conceals the gun and lets her in. He sends her in to see Kayla. Patch chains the door again, sits on the couch and buries the gun in between the cushions.

The headline screams from the next morning's edition of the Salem Enquirer:



You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

I'm The Bastard

Anna snoozes on the couch wearing her avocado and cocoanut oil facial mask as Tony knocks at the door. Acting very put out, she gets up and sashays over, "I'm ccooommmiiinnnggg..." She opens the door. Tony sees the mask and jumps out of his skin. She wonders why he came unglued, since it's only a beauty mask.

"'Beauty mask' is a misnomer," says Tony as he tries to recover from the shock, "I need you to come with me. It's a matter of life and death. Not to mention great exaggeration."

Sami and EJ are in a car. Sami lectures him about driving so fast. They're on the way to the mansion. It seems Marlena has asked them to stop by but didn't say why. EJ thinks as a wife she's a nag. Sami's glad they've decided to get an annulment.

John strolls around the mansion with Marlena. He says his memory of the mansion is foggy. He didn't realize there were so many rooms. He wonders how much all of this is worth. Marlena says it was bought with blood money. John don' give a flying leap. He looks for bank records to see how much Stefano was raking in. Marlena can't believe he's talking like a DiMera.

Lexie comes into Kayla's room and asks how Kayla is doing. She thinks she's better physically, but not emotionally. Lexie tells her the spotting and cramping have stopped, but can't confirm it until she confers with Marlena. The spotting and cramping may have stopped, but unfortunately, the talking hasn't.. Kayla thinks Steve was a hero on the plane, what with the way he landed it when he was unconscious.

Roman helps Patch back into bed, under protest. Roman is there to talk to Patch about the crash, "Tell me everything you know." This will no doubt be a short conversation.

Patch says he just knows it was sabotage and will make sure the person who did it burns in hell or marries Hope after Bo is gone – Same thing.

Tony wants to come in. Anna pushes him back, "Wait right there – I'm not speaking to you."

"You're speaking to me right now," says the ever-observant but less-than-tactful Tony. Anna breaks down and invites him in. He fills her in on Stefano's condition. He says Marlena wants him to stop by the mansion. He's worried Stefano recovered and will be angry, so he wants the woman he loves by his side. Anna isn't thrilled, "Next you'll be asking me to hold your hand while you cross the street." Tony says he just wanted an excuse to spend time with her. He turns on the sweet-talk afterburners. Anna falls for it hook, line and sinker and will be accompanying him to the mansion.

EJ wonders if little Johnny could stay with him now that he and Sami are back in separate apartments – Allie, too. Sami remains silent. EJ tells her to forget it. Sami can't believe her family was in the crash, OMB is dead and Bo is sick. She feels like the vendetta is back on. She sympathizes with EJ and says she thinks it must have been hard for him to abandon Stefano. EJ has been hoping for news of his recovery. Sami says no way would John move in if Stefano was recovering. "Unless he was still under my father's control," says EJ.

That does it. Sami presses the panic button and tells him to get there fast.

John says he sounds like a DiMera because he is one. Marlena insists he is much more a Brady and was even more a Brady when he was Roman. She reminds him he has had money before. He thinks he just never knew how to put it to good use, "There is a new heir in town."

Bugs Bunny sticks his head in the door, "And I'm here to stay, too." He looks over at Marlena, "By the way... What's up, Doc?"

John decides he wants to visit Stefano and make sure he is out of the picture.

Patch describes the sabotage on the plane, "The wires were as fried as I was." Roman thinks it's unlikely Stefano was behind this. He wonders if there was a single target or if the evil perp was after everyone, "If it was a single target that person would have to be really crazy to want to kill the others, too."

Patch flashes back to the Mystery Woman, "You're right, that person would have to be pretty damn crazy."

"Unfortunately, that eliminates practically no one in Salem," says Roman.

Lexie and Kayla talk about Lexie missing Stefano and form a mutual admiration society. Kayla congratulates her new boss on becoming Chief of Staph, but seethes inside. Boss-Lexie orders Kayla to rest as she leaves the room. Outside, she puts Kayla's record with others filed there. She also places a neon sign above it. The sign blinks on and off, "KAYLA'S MEDICAL RECORD... KAYLA'S MEDICAL RECORD..."

As Lexie leaves, Mystery Woman walks up to the nurses' station, "Excuse me, nurse, where is Steve Johnson's room?"

Roman tells Patch if he remembers anything to call. Patch says he is sorry about OMB. Roman thanks him and leaves. Once the door is closed, Patch goes bonkers, "Oh, God, oh God! I'm the one she wanted." He picks a glass up off his tray and fires it across the room. The glass shatters and a nurse immediately runs into the room. She's the spitting image of William 'The Refrigerator' Perry. That was terribly insensitive. I take that back with humble apologies to The Refrigerator. Steve whines, "You got to help me."

Outside, Mystery Woman watches Patch and The Fridge struggle.

Tony and Anna arrive at the mansion with Sami and EJ close behind. Opera music blares. Everyone sees a man sitting in a leather chair with its back turned to them. The man is holding a drink and, of course, everyone jumps to conclusions. Sami immediately goes into her blithering panic mode. Marlena turns off the music. Sami asks when Stefano recovered. John stands up, turns around and thanks Marlena for turning off the music. Everyone, of course, thought John was Stefano. Marlena explains why they are there, "Colleen faked her death. The first time. As far as we know, she hasn't returned from the dead after her second death. But give it time." Marlena informs them about Santo and Colleen having a child. Everyone wonders where that child is.

"Right here," says John, "I'm the bastard."

"We know," says Sami, "But where is Santo and Colleen's kid?"

You're a Brady? Asks Anna.

Sami goes into overdrive. Tony goes over their relationship. Sami is dumbfounded. Sorry for the redundancy. She gasps, "You are Stefano's half brother?"

Lexie comes in right on cue, "What did you say?"

They fill Lexie in. Lexie is dumbfounded. Sorry for the redundancy. She looks at John, "You're actually my uncle?" Uncle John gives a snotty smile.

Everyone jumps in trying to figure out who is who's cousin, brother, uncle, love child and everything else. John brings things to a halt, "Let's reconstruct the family tree another time. I want to see the estate." EJ steps in and asks what business that is of John's. John thinks he's entitled, "I think I may get control of just about everything."

Marlena wants to know why he would want it, since he's already rich. "Let's just say I'm curious about my roots," says John.

Across the room, Anna looks at her hair in the mirror. She's curious about her roots, too. John leads a toast to... who else... Uncle John.

Mystery Woman watches the struggle inside Patch's room. Another nurse blocks her view and closes the door. Inside, Patch wrestles The Fridge. She gives him a sedative against his wishes, and then leaves. Outside, The Fridge takes out a bullhorn, "I had to sedate Mr. Johnson. Repeat... I had to sedate Mr. Johnson." Mystery Woman watches and soaks it in.

The Fridge hands the bullhorn to the orderly who announces. "Have you heard the good news? Dr. Kayla Johnson is pregnant. Repeat... Dr. Kayla Johnson is pregnant."

Mystery Woman continues to listen in. She gets up and says when she was asking for Patch's room before she really meant to ask where Kayla's room is. The orderly directs her.

Mystery Woman turns and heads for Kayla's room. She ain' goin nowhere. The Fridge steps in, blocks her and announces visiting hours are over. Mystery Woman walks off and stares. Meanwhile a locomotive tries to crash into Kayla's room. The Fridge easily blocks that, too.

The DiMera kids talk to Marlena about what John is up to. Marlena says, "I saw glimpses of the old John in Ireland but he's a complete stranger to me. Well, after the little incident in the pup tent, he's not a complete stranger..."

As John continues to survey the mansion's treasure trove, Sami tells him Marlena isn't interested in material possessions.

Anna chimes in, "I never did understand that about her."

John interrupts Sami's ranging, "If you see a switch on me, why don't you flip it? I like me as I am." He turns to Anna, "You like me, don't you."

"Well," smiles Anna, "I do think we have a lot more in common, now."

Sweet Sami hauls off and stomps on Anna's foot, "YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"

Anna staggers over to the couch and sits down. John goes over and rubs Anna's foot. Anna gets into it. John lectures her on the various zones on the foot, "This area controls pain... and this area... controls pleasure."

Tony walks in on the footfettishfest, "What's going on here."

The mansion is empty except for John and Marlena. Marlena is glad everyone left. She asks John if he's coming home. "I am home," drones Automa-John.

"Are you planning on living here," asks Marlena. He tells her she can stay if she likes. Marlena isn't comfortable there. She gets close and says she's not giving up on him.

"Good to know," says John. She kisses his forehead. As she leaves, she takes one look back for good measure.

Drip, drip, drip. We pan back from Patch's IV and pan in on Patch. Drip. Patch groans and huffs, "I've gotta find her." An orderly brings him a note. Patch opens the envelope. Patch reads and gasps, "OMG! She's here!"

We get a close look at the card, which says, "That bitch will never have your baby!"

Anna insists John was just massaging her foot. Tony thinks she was behaving like a silly schoolgirl. He knows why John was flirting with her, "How could he not? You are such an enchanting and magnificent creature. Why don't we stay the night."

The sweet talk doesn't work this time. Anna smiles, "You can't. Tomorrow is my first day of work."

Tony asks about that. She says he never takes her seriously. She says she's taken a job as an exec at an ad agency – his competition, "As of now we are officially rivals." Tony gulps.

Sami can't believe John is a DiMera. EJ can't believe he's a Brady. They bicker about the Bradys and DiMeras. Sami decides she's just worried about her mom. She thinks Marlena is blind to what John has become.

Patch huffs and whines. He calls Kayla's name and does a slide job out of bed. Kayla discovers him on the floor. She says she snuck out of her room to see him. She wonders if he was sneaking out to see her, too. He asks if the baby is OK. She assures him it is and helps him back into bed. Patch protests. Kayla tells him The Fridge said he was so agitated she had to sedate him.

Patch struggles to talk, "I gotta tell you someth..."

Kayla gasps, "What is it?" Patch zones off.

Tony says he would have given Anna a job. Anna doesn't want him to give her anything, "You think I'm just an empty headed little air head who can't stand on her own two feet."

"That's not true," says Tony, "I never said you couldn't stand on your own two feet." They argue. She's going to prove she's a force to be reckoned with. Tony reminds her he has the resources and experience. Anna thinks she has the vision. It starts to sound like a Hillary-Obama debate.

Tony tries a different tact. He moves in and says he loves her and she doesn't have to prove anything. She says she wants his love and his respect. "I must be doing something wrong," says Tony. He takes his coat and says goodnight.

Anna turns and goes to the door after he shuts it. They do the hands on the door thing as Tony stands on one side of the door and Anna on the other.

EJ wonders if Sami really thinks John is a danger to Marlena. Sami doesn't know. She thinks their situations don't compare, though, "Because Marlena really loves John."

EJ asks, "And you don't love me?"

Confused Sami doesn't answer the question, "We're just going to get the annulment. I don't want to talk about it."

"Yes dear."

John surveys the mansion. He stands in front of a painting of Stefano, "Well, big brother, it looks like I'm getting what I deserve and so are you. Thanks for setting me up in such fine accommodations. Here's to you... Stefano DiMera."

Patch whispers. He has something to say, "You..."

Kayla kisses him, "Sweet dreams, baby." She leaves. Pan to the card on the floor.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

You Show Me Yours And I'll Show You Mine

Caroline scoots around the hospital wondering why no one is there yet. Sami and EJ come in panicking. Well, OK, Sami panics, EJ follows.

Finally, Shawn, Belle and Claire arrive. Caroline just can't wait until everyone gets there. Suddenly, paramedics wheel in two gurneys with dead bodies on them. The room falls silent. "OMG," gasps Caroline.

"Who are they," asks Lexie.

Shawn says those are the pilots. Nurse Marcie takes Claire to get her off the set. They're going for ice cream. By the time this kid is five she'll weigh more than Jabba the Hut.

Lexie orders the bodies to the morgue as Sami and Belle shiver and hug each other like they are actually sisters or something.

Shawn tells Roman how the pilots died and that the plane was sabotaged. Phillip comes in. Victor hugs him and promises to get to the bottom of this, as he gives Chloe a cold stare. Kate greets Phillip and asks how he is doing. "I broke my leg," says Phillip, "Fortunately it was my prosthetic one."

"I'm not sure that's a good thing," says Victor, "It will cost a lot more to fix the prosthetic leg."

Chelsea, Max, Caroline and Stephanie stand in a corner together talking about the accident like they actually know what happened. Poor Caroline decides once this is all over with it will be a good time to get away with OMB. Shawn comes up to her, "I have something I have to tell you."

Marlena butts in and tells Sami how John and Patch landed the plane. Abe says, "We're gonna wanna hear all the details."

John says, "All I know is someone owes me a jet."

Marlena goes over to Caroline, "Oh, I am sooooooo sorry!"

Poor clueless Caroline announces, "When Shawn gets here we're all gonna go back to the pub and have a good hot breakfast."

"Shawn may not be too hungry," says Marlena.

Patch and Kayla make their grand entrance and run straight to Stephanie. She flings her arms around Patch. He grunts, "There go three more ribs." Kayla immediately runs over to poor pitiful Caroline, "Oh, I am sooooooo sorry!"

"Why do people keep saying that," asks Caroline. Right on cue they wheel Bo in on a gurney. Caroline completely falls apart, "What's wrong with Bo? Is this what you didn't want me to know?"

Hope says Bo's condition didn't happen in the crash. Kayla says she has to talk to her mom. Patch butts in and tells her to come with him. Kayla looks at Patch and then turns and gives Hope the big puppy eyes. Hope signals that it's OK. Kayla follows Patch. Hope tells Caroline Bo is sick. Lexie steps in, "I'm not sure what it is, but we'll run tests. After that I still won't know what it is but I'll see if I can find a doctor to interpret them."

Hope hugs Caroline. Stall, stall, stall. See Hope stall. Stall, Hope, stall. Marlena comes up to Caroline and talks about Bo. Stall, stall, stall. See Marlena stall. Stall, Marlena, stall. Shawn steps in. Stall, stall, stall. See Shawn stall. Stall, Shawn, stall.

Finally, Caroline starts to storm out of the room. She says she doesn't want to deal with anything until Shawn gets there. Suddenly, she stops and asks, "Why didn't he get off the plane?" The paramedics answer her question by wheeling in a third gurney. Caroline gasps, "Oh, no. OMG!"

The crowd huddles around Caroline and cuts off her oxygen as she collapses in grief. She staggers to the gurney.

Shawn apologizes for not telling her earlier. "He died a hero," says Phillip.

Shawn tells her, "This might be too painful."

"Everything on this show is," says Phillip.

Shawn tells about Hope and OMB forcing Bo to breathe while OMB refused the mask, "He died so that his family could live."

"And the world will never forgive him," yells some guy in the audience.

Caroline begs to see the body. No one thinks that's a good idea. She and Roman are a tower of tears, but Roman OK's it. Lexie uncovers the body. OMB looks up at the cue card which says, "LIE STILL." He nods and puts his head back on the pillow.

The nurse finishes bandaging Patch's ribs. In the next room, Kayla picks up a megaphone and asks the doctor if she will lose the baby. Patch listens through the curtain.

Lexie tells Bo he's in for a long stay and a lot of tests. She tells them about Caroline. Bo wants to be with her but they stop him. "How are you feeling," asks Lexie.

"I'm pretty nauseous," says Bo.

"You certainly are," says Lexie. Bo is also achy and his lower back hurts. He thinks he may be achy because of the rotten beds in Ireland, and he's certain the other pain is because of Hope, who has always been a pain in the a**, "All this kind of reminds me of Isabella's pancreatic cancer."

Relived, Lexie writes on her pad, "DIAGNOSIS: Pancreatic cancer" and thanks him.

"I'm not gonna lose you," says Hope.

"Damn right you're not," says Bo.

Stephanie meets Patch outside his little curtained room and asks where he is going. He says Kayla needs him, "She might lose the baby." Patch has such a tender way of breaking news.

They overhear the doctor telling Kayla stress is her greatest enemy, "except for your husband's mouth."

"Mom's pregnant," gasps Stephanie, "How did that happen?" Patch makes a note to have a long talk with the kid. Stephanie falls apart because they MIGHT have died. Patch tries to reassure her but she's a lost cause. He says they will make Kayla spend the whole pregnancy in bed. He asks Stephanie if she would prefer a brother or a sister. Stephanie doesn't care just so long as they don't name it after some idiotic piece of clothing. She hugs him. We hear a couple more ribs crunch.

Victor wants to take Caroline away. Caroline wants to stay right where she is. Maggie shows up, "Oh, I am sooooooo sorry!"

"I can't let him go," says Caroline.

John stares. Marlena comes up and tells him there was a time when he, like everyone else in Salem, thought OMB and Caroline were his parents, "Can you offer a few words of comfort?"

John goes over, "They tell me I thought you were my parents. I don't remember that. But from what I saw of him and what he did I truly wish he had been my father." Caroline thanks him. John leaves.

Caroline refuses to go. Lexie assures her no one else in her family is in danger, "And no one is suffering."

"What about us," screams the audience.

Roman promises they will all go over to the pub when things have finished there, "You can deal with your grief by fixing us all dinner – on the house, of course."

Caroline goes over to the gurney and cries, "Goodbye, sweet Shawn." She kisses his forehead. Victor follows her out, but Kate stops him. Lexie orders OMB's body to the morgue. Sami and Roman stagger into the scene. The whole crew gathers and watches from the depths of despair as they wheel OMB's body out. John gives us his blank stare.

Bo tells Chelsea, "They don't know what is wrong with me yet – Physically, that is." He thinks he needs a backrub.

"Once we get you home," says Hope, "I'll give you a backrub every night for all the Days Of Our Lives." Given his condition, she knows this isn't a big commitment.

"It's a lot worse than you're telling me, isn't it," asks Chelsea.

Patch wants to see Kayla. Stephanie says he should wait until Dr. Lexie sees him. Stephanie goes into Kayla's room and they talk about the impending bundle of joy. Kayla promises she will have no more adventures. Hugs.

Marlena and Sami get together for a blitherfest. Marlena thinks Stefano's organization had something to do with sabotaging of the plane. EJ says if that's true, he will find out. Marlena gives him high marks for telling her about John being alive. EJ suggests breakfast. Sami don' wan' no stinkin' food. EJ plays the 'twins' trump card and tells her she has to keep her strength up. They head out to chow down.

"I'm gonna drop in on the prosthetics department," says Phillip.

Victor stops him, "Haven't you done enough dropping in for one week? " He turns to Chloe and asks about Brady.

Chloe insists she has told everything. Victor swears to find him, "Someone will pay. Don't you care about your husband?"

"Yes," whines Chloe, "But I don't want him to see me until my scars heal." She stomps off. Phillip limps behind her.

Kate comes up to Victor and asks if he thinks Chloe is after Phillip now. Victor isn't sure. Kate says, "I think she's after what she has always been after – his money."

Victor tells John it's his son they are talking about. He asks if he cares. John doesn't care but is curious. "My daughter loved you very much," says Victor.

"So does Blondie," says John, "And a few others I suppose." John asks if he and Victor got along when Victor was his father-in-law. Victor says he was an admirable man.

"Are you implying I can't be that again?"

"That would be up to you, wouldn't it," asks Victor.

The nurse examines Patch and says he has to stay overnight. Patch whines like a little girl. He wants out of there now. The nurse reminds him Kayla will be staying overnight also. "Can we share a room," asks Patch.

Nurse Cratchet looks down her nose at him. "Adjoining rooms," he asks.

"Be patient," she snorts.

"I am a patient."

Max says he is heading for the pub. Roman will go with him.

Abe and Lexie swear undying love and he heads for the office. Lexie wants to examine John. He insists he's fine, "I've been prodded and poked enough for a lifetime. Two lifetimes, actually." Lexie insists. He turns and stares, "You're just out for a cheap thrill, aren't you?"


Marlena walks in to the little dust-up as John insists he is fine.

"Why don't you let a doctor decide that," she suggests, "instead of Lexie."

"Only if you do it," he says, "You show me yours and I'll show you mine."

Bo tells Chelsea it might be something serious.

Victor comes in, "Hello, son." He tells Bo he's sorry about OMB. He also says Maggie took Caroline to the pub. He takes Bo's hand, "If you need anything, all you need to do is ask."

"Actually, I'm short a few million," says Bo.

Patch limps in to see Kayla. She hugs him, crushing his three remaining ribs. He says he doesn't want her taking chances. Stephanie tells Kayla she can't get out of bed for the next eight months (or twelve, if things go the way they usually do on this show). Patch senses something is wrong with Stephanie and asks her what's going on. She says she feels terrible about OMB, but is happy to have them back home, "And we're gonna have a baby!"

Phillip tells Shawn they have ordered him a new leg direct from the Phillip Kiriakis Body Parts manufacturing plant. Shawn and Belle decide they love each other and head for home. Phillip asks Chloe how she is doing. She's not sure she will be OK. He invites her to go home with him. Chloe thinks she shouldn't. He talks her into it as Kate practically goes into a backwards somersault rolling her eyes.

John and Marlena come out of the examining room. Apparently, he has shown her his and she has shown him hers. Sami, evidently back from her big feed, walks up to them, "I want to hear the rest of the story." Paul Harvey steps in with the details. EJ goes for the car. Marlena thinks Sami and EJ are getting along well. Sami says he was good with the twins. She offers her and John a ride. John doesn't know where he wants to go yet. Marlena thought he would go home with her. John decides he wants to go to the DiMera mansion, "I have every right to live there."

"What does that mean," asks Sami.

"A lot happened in Ireland I will explain at some point," says Marlena, "But right now, it's more fun just to leave you hanging."

Marlena goes for the car. John follows. Sami picks her jaw up off the floor.

Lexie is going to take Bo for tests. Victor vows to bring in specialists. Bo thanks him. Victor, Hope and Chelsea stare like open-mouthed stone monkeys as they wheel Bo off.


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

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