The Booty Call Smorgasbord

Chad returns to Salem looking completely different after having months of plastic surgery so Thomas can’t recognize him and he can go back to being with Cat. #DAYS

Leo: “How can I write 1,200 words on the sanitation department with Javi canoodling around with his new boyfriend?” Personally, I’d use a computer. Alternatively you could use a typewriter or longhand. You’ll figure it out. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: “I’m about to be handsomely solvent and comfortably flush.” Leo: “I don’t know about handsomely solvent, but most turds are comfortably flushed.” #DAYS

Kristen and Lani reconnect… and compare notes on what it’s like to be an alumnus of Statesville. #DAYS

Tate tells Brady he’s not going back to Salem University. Maybe he wants a degree from an accredited school. #DAYS

Xander: “If Gwen isn’t living at the DiMera Mansion, spending so much time with her isn’t quite as appealing.” Translation: The Booty Call unlimited smorgasbord becomes more of a pick-and-choose take-out situation. #DAYS

Wanderingeyetis

Q: Theo gets the hots for Gabi. But he’s in a relationship with Jada so what’s going on here? A: He’s a man, all of whom are born with an ocular affliction called wanderingeyetis. #DAYS

Jeremy to Stephanie: “If I were Alex I would want to take away your anxieties and fix everything.” Translation: “I wish I was in Alex’ position and he was out of the picture so I could fix everything so tell him to take a flying leap and I’ll be happy to step in.” #DAYS

Stephanie: “I promise I won’t be calling you every time I lose my mind.” That’s good. If she did her phone bill would be enormous.”

Next on #DOOL — Stephanie: “There is one thing I know I need right now… and that is you.” Alex: “Any particular part of me?” #DAYS

The Gals At The Salem Bordello

Next on #DOOL — Sarah: “Let’s go back to your place for dessert.” Brady: “Do you mean dessert or… DESSERT?” Sarah: “How about both? We could pick up some whipped cream on our way.” #DAYS

Alex to Stephanie: “Fun and babies aren’t mutually exclusive.” Sometimes fun leads to babies. It appears, however, Alex won’t be having that kind of fun anytime soon. #DAYS

EJ and Kristen enjoy the show Gwen and Xander are putting on while Xander and Gwen enjoy the show Kristen and EJ are putting on. Why isn’t everybody happy? #DAYS

The DiMera couch sees more action than the gals down at the Salem Bordello. #DAYS

The Statesville Alumni Association

Leo stares at Dimitri. Dimitri stares at Leo. Rinse & repeat. #DAYS

Jada informs Theo that Shawn will be staying at her place, “It’s an unwritten rule on the force. We do things like this for our own.” And it’s a rule with men that they don’t share their lovers. That one isn’t unwritten. It’s carved in stone. #DAYS

Jada asks Theo if it’s OK if Shawn stays at her place. You’d think she’s been around the block enough to know not to even ask. #DAYS

Javi and Leo: JLO? Seems familiar. Has that been taken? #DAYS

If you think Sophia is the craziest person in Salem, you’re not listening to Kristen’s plan. #DAYS

Kristin to Sophia: “Stick with me and you’ll get away with murder,” says the gal who is a lifetime member of the Statesville Alumni Association. #DAYS

Bar Wenches

Stephanie and Alex’ love is eternal. Uh, I meant ephemeral. #DAYS

Someone in Brady’s home has a pet snake. But that’s only because S’mores considers Rachel his pet. #DAYS

Adrienne is lucky copyright infringement is a civil offense instead of a crime. #DAYS

Protip for Bonnie: Books make great paperweights. #DAYS

Maggie threatens to fire Kate. I’ll bet Roman would give her a job as one of his bar wenches. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Ari: “I brought you some Chamomile. It’s supposed to soothe your nerves.” Bonnie: “Straight bourbon works a lot better.” #DAYS

Shaken Not Stirred

Chanel: “I’ll always have a knee jerk reaction to all things DiMera.” In that case, whatever you don’t marry one… Oops. #DAYS

Lexie wakes up. She’s ALIVE! She’s ALIV… She’s ASLEEP! She’s ASLEEP! Fake out! #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see – Gwen orders a martini James Bond style, “shaken not stirred.” EJ fixes it… forgets to put the top on the shaker. #DAYS

Woody

As the show begins: Brady: “I think they ought to clean out the bullpen and fire the manager.” Steve: “Fire the manager? That’s a little harsh for little league, isn’t it?” #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: Brady discovers when you join Black Patch the uniform standards require you to actually wear a black patch like Steve’s. #DAYS

Stephanie needs to just snap out of it. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Phillip: “I’m moving back in… with Gabi… and Woody.” Sarah: “Who’s Woody?” Phillip: “My leg.” #DAYS

Johnny to Stephanie: “If I knew Bonnie’s book was a copy of yours I never would have bought the rights.” For future reference, Johnny, competent CEOs check things out before they dive into things.

You may be wondering how long it will take to find out if Sophia’s fingerprints are on the bottle. It does, in fact take a long time for the lab to process them, but if Brady and Tate are patient… wait for it… Someday her prints will come.” #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Tate: “I don’t know if I want to go back to Salem U.” Brady: “Why?” Tate: “I want to get a college degree that’s worth a sh*t.” #DAYS

Woody

As the show begins: Brady: “I think they ought to clean out the bullpen and fire the manager.” Steve: “Fire the manager? That’s a little harsh for little league, isn’t it?” #DAYS

Scenes we’d like to see: Brady discovers when you join Black Patch the uniform standards require you to actually wear a black patch like Steve’s. #DAYS

Stephanie needs to just snap out of it. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Phillip: “I’m moving back in… with Gabi… and Woody.” Sarah: “Who’s Woody?” Phillip: “My leg.” #DAYS

Johnny to Stephanie: “If I knew Bonnie’s book was a copy of yours I never would have bought the rights.” For future reference, Johnny, competent CEOs check things out before they dive into things.

Double Your Pleasure

Stephanie is suffering from MLTA (Morose Laconic Teenage Angst) Syndrome. It would look a lot better for her if she was a teenager. #DAYS

Jada will be living with Shawn while she diddles around with Theo. Her motto is "Double your pleasure, double your fun, get yourself two dudes instead of just one. #DAYS

Leo to Kayla: "You know what's worse than a broken heart?" Listening to you ramble on and on about your mood swings? #DAYS

I"m with Patch. I don't think real police departments let people confront their attackers in an interrogation room, ESPECIALLY without a police officer present. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Shawn: "I know you're disappointed in me and I won't be upset if you suspend me." Jada: "I'm not going to suspend you." Shawn: "That's really generous of you." Jada:"Not really. I'm too short staffed to suspend anyone right now." #DAYS

Jada says she's not going to suspend Shawn but, even worse, his conduct during the shooting will go on his… dum-da-dum-dum… permanent record. #DAYS

No Nookie November

Brady to Holly and Tate: "Rachel is innocent in all this." Innocent yes, intelligent no. #DAYS

Sophia and Kristen bump into each other. This is quite unusual. With the way they slither and move about, it's a scientific fact that it's very rare for two snakes to bump into each other. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "Xander and I don't have anything on the books today." EJ: "The only thing you and Xander have anything on is a bed." #DAYS

Gwen and Xander: Friends with Benefits… without being friends. #DAYS

Paulina: "One kind gesture does not cancel all the bad things EJ has done." True. In fact, in the business world it's the opposite that's true… One "Aw Sh*t" cancels out ten "attaboys." #DAYS

Adrienne to Justin: "You pull that book and it will be 'No Nookie November.'" She pulls out a woman's ultimate weapon of mass destruction.

Phillip asks Gabi to become his POSSLQ… an old 80s term meaning Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. #DAYS

Theo gets "The Mother of All Surprises." No pun intended… OK, you caught me… put intended. #DAYS

EJ asks Theo if he can trust him with the secret that Lexie may come back to life. Perhaps he should have asked him that BEFORE he showed him who was in that room. #DAYS