Saturday, February 27, 2010

The Prank

WARNING: Please consider this entire posting to be CENSORED. It contains graphic representations of sex, drugs and rock & roll. If you find sex, drugs and rock & roll or references to them offensive, you might want to pass on this one. On the other hand, I figure if you watch DOOL, you can't be too easily offended, so here goes...

February 27, 1990, Beverly Hills, California — Bart and Beavis, young late-shift restroom attendants for the posh Beverly Hilton Hotel share a doob in the back alley while on break from their all-too-demanding jobs. Not looking forward to the drudgery of going back to work they continue to toke it up and try to figure out a way to spice up the boring evening ahead of them. Bart giggles, "Hey, man, I got a idea... le'z go-ta the gift shop. Snickersnickersnicker..."

"What," chuckles Beavis, "You gonna buy me a gift?"

"You'll see." Bart's laughter becomes uncontrollable.

"Hey," says Beavis, "Don't 'Bogart' that joint, my friend, pass it over to me."

A few minutes later the two stoners stumble into the gift shop. Ringleader Bart asks the person behind the counter, "Hey, lady, you sell them little sewing kits... the ones with the really tiny needles?"

"We do," says the saleswoman. But she's a little skeptical, "What does a brainless pothead like you need with a sewing kit?"

"My frien' an me had refried beans for lunch and I just ripped one. BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha-ha."

"This is the Beverly Hilton," she reminds him, "Things here don't come cheap. Our sewing kits are $25 and I'm guessing you aren't a kid with big money."

"Nope," giggles Bart, "Mine's the same size as everyone else. BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha-ha. But I got sumthin' else that's real big if you wanna see..."

"That'll be enough of that," says the saleswoman.

She reluctantly sells him the sewing kit, and Bart turns to Beavis, "Come on, Beaver, let's go."

"Don't call me 'Beaver.'"

"Got it, dipsh*t. If ya wanna have some fun, follow me, pencil d*ck."

Our intrepid Rhodes Scholarship candidates float back to their station in the men's room. Once they're in there and find themselves alone, Bart announces, "It's time to replinish..." He takes a knee and bows his head, "...THE MACHINE." With that, he goes to the supply closet, opens the door and removes a box with giant letters...


He unlocks and opens THE MACHINE and each lad grabs a few at a time and puts them in. Bart leaves the final small, square, sealed packet in the original large box as they situate the others. When he has finished, he turns to Beavis, "This is where it gets good. Gimme that sewing kit." Beavis obeys. Bart takes the smallest needle from the kit and carefully punches it directly through the center of the final little packet. He smooths over the pinhole so it is undetectable and places the packet right at the bottom of the stack in THE MACHINE, so it will dispense for the first unsuspecting customer who comes along.

It doesn't take long for the boys to bag their prey. A young doctor, attending a medical convention at the Beverly Hilton walks in. The doc has had a few drinks and seems to be in a pretty chipper mood as he approaches THE MACHINE whistling, "My Sharona."

The boys stifle their chuckling as the doctor gets close enough to the stall they are hiding in for them to read his name tag, "DANIEL JONAS, M.D."

The whistling stops as Dapper Dan reads the lettering, "TWO TWENTY-FIVE FOR A CONDOM! HOLY TROJAN! THERE ARE HO's DOWN ON RODEO DRIVE CHEAPER THAN THAT!" He settles down and inserts the money, "Oh, well. This Carly Manning chick is pretty hot and great in bed... at least that's what all the guys say, so I guess it's worth it. And I certainly wouldn't want to have a kid with her or pick up something... to use a medical term... icky." He turns and practically skips out of the room whistling "Louie Louie."

Once the door closes behind Dr. Dan, Bart and Beavis literally tumble out of their stall cackling uncontrollably. Finally, Bart catches his breath long enough to say, "Man, that Dr. Jonas has got to be the unluckiest guy in the world."

* * *
February 27, 2010, Salem, USA — Bart and Beavis, burned out stoners who have been complete failures throughout their lives have finally landed jobs as orderlies at Salem Hospital. They are on break from their all-too-demanding duties sharing a doob near the park bench outside. Beavis contemplates a cloud, "Heeeyyyy, maaaaannnn... that looks just like a giant Thanksgiving turkey, maaannnn..."

"You just have the munchies," says Bart, "and don't Bogart that joint, my friend, pass it over to me."

"Joint," asks a voice, "are you gentlemen smoking marijuana here on hospital grounds?" Roman Brady walks up to them and gives them his best cop stare, "Marijuana is illegal, you know."

"Awwww, maaannnn," says Beavis, "We're on hospital property, so this must be medical marijuana."

"I see," says Roman, "In that case, just make sure you only smoke it on hospital grounds and... I'll check the statute on this, but I believe you must be on duty, too."

"Nah," says Bart, "I know that's not in the statute, but it is a hospital rule."

"Very well, gentlemen," says Roman, "Carry on. I have to go. I believe I see a jaywalker over there and we don't tolerate that kind of despicable behavior in this town."

As Roman walks off, Beavis turns to Bart, "Hey dooooood, He was an awful nice guy. You should have offered him a pull..."

"SHHHHHH! Look!"

Bart points toward the park bench and the pair listen in on Daniel and Carly's conversation...

Carly stammers around. She talks about being with Melanie earlier. Daniel can see it will be a while before she gets to the point, "We don't have to do this here. Lets go someplace where it's warm and comfortable and we can be alone."

"No," says Carly, "We have to do this right here and right now."

Carly sits Daniel down on the Salem Bench and continues to ramble. "Stop beating around the bush," says Daniel, "What are you trying to tell me?"

"I wasn't just trying to protect Melanie," says Carly, "I was also trying to protect... her father."

Daniel asks if Bo is the father. "No," says Carly.

"Who is it," asks Daniel. Carly continues to stammer. Dan digs, "I assume this man is no longer a part of your life."

"He is he's a great friend," says Carly, "And I Hope it stays that way. Daniel... it's you. You're Melanie's father. It's you."

Bart has a cow, "HO-LEEEE SH*T! Did you catch that?"

"I sure did," says Beavis, "That dude said he don' wan' no beatin' around the bush, but it sounds like that's exactly what got him in trouble."


"That's not all, doood," says Beavis, "She called the kid 'Melanie.' You know that chick in 214?"

"The loudmouth?"


"The one who got shot on her wedding day?"


"The one who can't stop whining?"


"The one you can hear screaming down the hall even when her door is closed?"


"The one so many people want to kill they have to put a guard outside her door?"


"What about her," asks Bart.

"Her name is Melanie," says Beavis, "And I was right outside her room and heard Carly tell her she is her mother."

The two spaced out weedwhiffers stare wide-eyed at each other and then the reality of it hits them. They scream together...


"OH MY GOD," gasps Bart, "The poor guy gets the rigged rubber and now he's stuck with that jaw-flappin, whining, irritating Melanie Layton for a daughter! Do you remember what I said about him that night?"

"You said he was the unluckiest guy in the world," says Beavis.

"I didn't know the half of it," says Bart, "I need a hit. So..."

Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me.
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me.

Roll another one
Just like the other one.
You've been hanging on to it
And I sure would like a hit.

Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me.
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me.

Ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oll another one
Just like the other one.
That one's burnt to the end
So come on and be a friend.

Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me.
Don't bogart that joint, my friend
Pass it over to me.

* * *

Have a mellow weekend, gang. But not too mellow.

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Friday, February 26, 2010

A Fantasy Candy-Coated Future

EJ and Sami are together at the pier. EJ shows her the new ransom note. Sami tears into it and reads. It's a bunch of do-this-do-that mumbo jumbo. When she finishes she looks up at EJ, "So you think this means Sydney is still alive? WOOOOO HOOOOOOO!" That girl nearly middle-aged woman can go from depressive to manic faster than the proverbial speeding bullet.

Carly is outside the pub calling the hospital to check on Melanie. The nasty hospital authorities refuse to give her any information. Carly erupts, "What do you mean you can't tell me anything. I'm her mother I have a right... never mind."

Maggie overhears the little tirade as she walks up, "Playing the mother card? Rings rather hollow, don't you think?"

Daddy Dan sits with Melanie and ponders the complications of a one night stand.

Anna stares at Tony's picture and flashes back to EJ taking the new ransom note, "It may be the final nail in the coffin if this blows up."

Sami reads... another caution not to bring in the police or FBI. Sami swings back from manic to depressive and wonders how they can know it's real, "I want to believe, but..."

EJ tells her it makes sense. "The kidnappers just wanted money and the thing with the dress was a diversion to throw the feds off the scent. This is our last chance, so no outside involvement."

Guess who walks up, "No outside involvement with what? What's going on?"

Sami for once clams up. EJ steps in, "Samantha is thinking of canceling the ceremony and I told her she should not be influenced by external sources." Rafe says he dropped the kids off at the pub and came back to see if she needed anything. Sami says she's worried about her grandma, "She hasn't been well lately and I don't want the kids alone with her, so would you go back and check on them?" PW'd Rafe heads for the pub.

"He saw right through me," says Sami.

"Well," says the old philosopher EJ, "you'll do better next time."

Sami rolls her eyes, "Better at lying to him. Great."

EJ reminds her they are talking about Sydney's life and it's best if they don't involve Rafe. Sami blows a gasket and says she's scared because she no longer trusts her own judgment. Not to worry, EJ is there, "Trust me, little girl, Trust me. Let me take control."

"The hell you will." Sami's moods are all over the place today.

Carly wonders if Maggie would play the mother card if the situation were reversed. Maggie reminds her Melanie is in the hospital because of her. Carly defends herself, "Vivian was going to smash her head with a pipe. Should I have stood there and done nothing?"

A voice comes out of the audience, "YES!"

"Melanie is precious to me," says Maggie, "I resent your butting in. That's my job."

Carly says she is grateful Melanie has had Maggie in her life. Maggie settles down and says Melanie is doing better. Carly gives her heartache and suffering speech and Maggie gives her busybody lecture. Carly asks if Maggie knew Trent. "I knew about him," says Mags, "His treatment of Melanie was unforgivable."

Carly stops herself short, "Her real..."

Maggie asks, "Her real what?"

"It's just one more thing I deprived her of," says Carly.

Daniel strokes Melanie's hand. She wakes up, "Why are you looking at me funny? Oh, no! Something's wrong. I'm gonna die aren't I?"

Unfortunately, no."

Rafe finds Arianna at the pub. He tells her the family gathering is off because EJ decided it was a bad idea. Arianna wonders if it isn't time Rafe cut EJ some slack, "He's human. One big gorgeous hunk of human if you ask me. And he's a loving and devoted father who only kidnaps his kids when it's really necessary. Maybe you shouldn't second-guess him so much."

Sami tells EJ she doesn't need him taking control for her. He reminds her she just said she didn't trust herself for making decisions. Sami claims that was a figure of speech. The girl nearly middle-aged woman can rationalize anything. She says she needs time to figure whether to tell Rafe about the ransom note.

EJ explodes and says he never should have told her about it. "He's grieving as if Sydney were his daughter," bawls Sami, "He won't screw this up and he deserves to know the truth."

"Involving Rafe would be the biggest single mistake you've ever made," says EJ, "And that's saying a lot when you consider the fact that your life has been one giant string of mistakes. Rafe is a liability." Sami defends Rafe and EJ puts on a sales pitch to keep him out of it, "This is our second chance and you're saying you want to make the same mistake again." Sami turns and contemplates. EJ rambles on, "This is not just my choice. She's you daughter too, so you make the call. But many people will have to live with the consequences."

Maggie wants to know what Carly deprived Melanie of. Carly dodges the question and Maggie gives up. She turns to leave and... Down goes Maggie! Down goes Maggie!

Daniel assures Melanie she's not dying, "I was looking at you like that because I was happy for your recovery."

"Are you sure that's it," asks Melanie, "Are you still beating yourself up for letting Dr. Manning talk to me? You are forgiven. You saved my life."

Rafe can't believe Arianna is defending EJ, "You for him? What's going on with you two?"

"Nothing," says Arianna, "Put your jealousy aside." Rafe insists EJ is using the situation to get closer to Sami. Arianna makes accusations, "You're paranoid."

"What's a 'noid' and why would I want two of them," asks Rafe.

Sami decides she's gotta do what it takes to get Sydney back, "No mistakes this time."

"Good," grunts EJ, "We keep this between the two of us."

Daniel thinks he could have done much more for Melanie. She wonders why he says that since he's already gone above and beyond. They share a giggly moment. Melanie says it's so nice to be a part of a family now. Daniel dangles the big bombshell, "Melanie... I need to... can I say something to you?"

Anna flashes back to asking EJ about all the plotting and knife twisting and the cruelty of keeping Sydney from Sami. EJ insists he's doing Sami a favor by pushing Rafe out of her life.

Back at the pier, EJ tells Sami to be very careful with Rafe because he's suspicious by nature. Sami vows to do whatever it takes.

Carly helps Maggie into the pub. Maggie insists she's fine, "The cold makes my arthritis act up. She wishes Carly luck as she goes.

Carly drones, "Melanie will be looked after no matter what happens to me." She sits down and pulls out her phone.

Of course, Daniel cops out, "'m gonna tell you later when you are stronger."

"No," says insists Melanie, "You will tell me now."

"Don't fight me on this," orders Dr. Dad, "Get some rest."

"I can't," says Melanie, "I'm curious." Daniel insists he will tell her later. Weak. Very weak.

Daniel stands up to leave and gets Carly's text, "Need to see you immediately at the pub."

Sami worries that Rafe will know she isn't grieving any more, "How will we keep that from him?"

EJ has the answer for that one, "You will do something you do very well — lie. Please call him and tell him the ceremony is canceled."

Daniel joins Carly at the pub. He says he didn't drop the daddy bomb on Melanie. They discuss whether or not he should tell her. "She will wonder why we abandoned her," says Daniel, "It means she was lied to her entire life and now... she will see how different her life could have been."

"You're right," says Carly, "I was looking on the bright side."

"There is no bright side."

Arianna is with Melanie. They share small talk about Phillip and that little thing about getting shot on her wedding day.

Anna has another flashback where she asks EJ what if Sami decides to bring Rafe into this. EJ thinks that would be an outcome too horrible to contemplate.

Rafe comes back to the pier. Is everything OK?

"No," says Sami, "Nothing's OK."

Melanie thinks the fact Dr. Manning keeps telling her she's sorry is no excuse for what she did, "She abandoned me as a baby and left me with a psycho-dad. My whole childhood was ruined because of her."

"Not really," says Arianna, "Since you haven't grown up yet."

"I'll never get those years back," says Melanie, "How can I forgive her for that?"

Daniel and Carly continue their conversation. Daniel doesn't buy any of Carly's rationalizations.

EJ steps in and says he and Sami have decided to stop the gathering and not tell the twins. Sami backs him up, "This is for the best."

Rafe agrees. He pulls out a bouquet of flowers, "I thought maybe instead of the gathering you could say a few things and throw them into the water."

"I just don't know if I can do that," says the basket case.

Maggie works in her kitchen. She drops a cup, "Oh, God, what's going on" She looks at a picture of her and Mickey, "It's coming back. What am I gonna do?"

Daniel insists he could have dealt with Lawrence, "This is so messed up. I had my daughter's heart in my hand and didn't know."

"You can still be her father," says insists Carly.

Daniel loses it, "Shut the hell up! A fantasy candy-coated future will not make this OK. If I couldn't (say it with him) be there for her and some SOB was pimping her out... don't deny or justify it. There is nothing you can do that will lessen the pain. You don't deserve her!" He storms out. Carly stares.

Anna zones out, "EJ and his plans. So confident. Maybe they will work out, but nothing good will come from this. Nothing good at all. Unless it drags on so long they lose the entire audience and the show is canceled."

Rafe says he doesn't want Sami to feel pressured to make the little speech and toss the roses in the river. Sami thanks him for the offer but says she can't do it, "It just hurts too much." Rafe turns to EJ and asks if he wants the honor. EJ declines.

So that leaves it up to Rafe, "Sydney... you'll never be forgotten." He chucks the bouquet into the river.

EJ scowls as Sami breaks down and hugs him, "I know it's painful."

"You're darn right about that," says Rafe, "I just tossed a $70 bouquet of roses into a garbage flow."

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Thursday, February 25, 2010

Let Mr. FBI Take Elvis Down

Rafe stands outside the DiMera mansion talking on the phone with EJ. He invites him to the family gathering.

Victor runs into Phillip at the pub. He asks about Melanie and Phillip jumps down his throat. When Victor can get a word in edgewise, he tells Phillip that Bo isn't the father.

Daniel and Carly talk about the little surprise Carly has dropped on him. Daniel is in denial.

Vivian lowers the pillow to Melanie's face.

Bo tells Hope they picked up Gus. He says he's going to put a lineup together. Hope wonders what if she can't identify his voice. "Bottom line," says Hope, "is we have to stop Vivian."

"Right." Rust flakes drop as the wheels turn inside Bo's head, "And there are other ways."

Melanie struggles and then the struggling stops. Vivian stares toward the heavens. "If you're looking for a home," says God, "You're looking in the wrong direction."

Sami tries to convince disbelieving Will that Sydney is gone. Generous Sami tells him he can still have Hope if he wants, "But Bo and the FBI are telling us this is the end of the line." Translation: Sydney is alive and has never been in better shape.

EJ declines Rafe's invitation. He says he's just not up to it emotionally. Rafe convinces him, and EJ asks to do it at the pier where there might even be a chance of seeing Sydney float by. They agree to meet in an hour. EJ hangs up and tells Anna they have a little work to do.

Kate finds Rafe outside the mansion. Stefano comes to the door and asks why he is still there. Rafe says he's wondering why EJ isn't upset that he lost his daughter.

Phillip sighs, "So Bo isn't the father. That's a relief. Who is it?"

"You know as much as I do," says growls Victor.

That sets Phillip up for another round of ranting, "Well, I didn't before. You knew Carly was Melanie's mother and didn't tell me." They launch into another argument. Phillip blames Victor for everything. Victor cuts him short and tells him Carly is the one to blame, "You wanna make sure somebody gets punished... she's your target."

Daniel doesn't exactly start passing out cigars with the news he's Melanie's father. "I went to the conference to get some time away," says Carly, "and got a hell of a lot more than that. And after we went slumming, we were just going to be friends, remember we said that? We spent extra days together talking and laughing. We were in different places. How could I ruin your relationship with Rebecca? I don't regret that night, and I didn't expect to find you here in Salem."

Daniel asks, "Does Melanie know?"

"I couldn't tell her," says Carly, "that two supposedly intelligent physicians got through medical school without learning about birth control."

Vivian pulls the pillow off Melanie's face. The audience boos.

Melanie cries for help. Vivian stares. Melanie looks up at her, "Just do it. Please kill me." The audience cheers.

Stefano gives Rafe the bum's rush. He leaves. Kate tries to defend EJ but Stefano blows his stack, "There is something off about Elvis. He's up to something."

EJ encourages Anna to hurry with her little project. She tells him this can't be rushed and claims he hasn't thought this through. "Just finish it," he snorts.

Daniel lectures Carly, "You came to my wedding."

"That was the last time we saw each other," says Carly, "Lawrence built walls around me."

Daniel rants, "Come on, we were friends. We could say anything to each other, But you kept this quiet. OK, fine. I had basically blocked out the fact we made love. I didn't want it to hurt our friendship. We have always been honest with each other. But you didn't say one word."

"Lawrence was watching," whines Carly, "I couldn't. I could have told you early on, but later it would have signed your death warrant. Lawrence would have had you killed."

Melanie looks up at Vivian, "You have to kill me, right? Because of your nephew."

"OMG," says gasps Vivian, "You understand. He was my life. Carly took him. She has to lose the way I lost. If there were another way... Oh, God... Oh, God... You are such a sweet, cheerful girl. Melanie... Melanie..."

Vivian cries. Melanie cries, "I really don't know anything any more. If you kill me, everything will be better. And that's good, right?"

EJ looks at Anna's work and says it's exactly what he needs to break up Sami and Rafe.

Hope comes in to the interrogation room, selects a rubber hose, and tells Gus she saw everything he did in the basement. Bo tells him either he gives them Vivian or he goes to prison.

Daniel and Carly go through the same stuff they've already been through. Carly tells him Lawrence beat her and says it wasn't her choice to give her baby away, "It was the most painful thing in my life giving up our little girl, until I saw how she turned out. Don't forget, Vivian could still kill you."

Melanie tells Vivian everything in her life is so wrong, "See... my father would gamble and when he couldn't pay the man back... I would have to go see the man. I used to lie and trick and steal. He taught me how to do that. And after he died I thought that was how you were supposed to live your life. Then I got married. That was all wrong, too... then Carly came." She turns on the screaming hysteria afterburners, "She won't even tell me who my father is, so if I have to die, then today is a good day to do it." Vivian has her own personal earthquake.

EJ joins Stefano and Kate. He says he's there to pick up Johnny. Kate goes to get him. Stefano tells EJ he's heard about the little gathering they're going to have, "I just want to warn you about Hernandez."

Sami thanks Rafe for helping her set up the makeshift memorial service, "So now you can tell me what happened with EJ."

Rafe works his jaw, "I don't get why that bastard gets to pick the location. He's trying to rub my nose in it."

"You shouldn't care what he thinks," says the pseudo psycho shrink, "You did everything you could."

Rafe beats himself up, "It just wasn't enough."

Bo and Hope grill Gus. He starts to talk and tells them Vivian went home to get a pair of gloves, but then clams up, "I want a lawyer." Bo and Hope stomp out wondering why Vivian went to get gloves and decide she's up to something.

Bo calls the guard and asks if he has been at his station all evening. The guard assures him he has, except for one teensy tiny instant when he got Maggie a drink of water. That does it. Roy and Dale head for dry gulch.

Vivian repents and hugs Melanie. The cop and Phillip bust in to see the tender scene.

Daniel is speechless. Carly is speechless. So they talk about it endlessly. Daniel vows to protect Melanie. Carly begs him to know she wanted to tell him, "You've always been so special to me. Other than Bo you're my only friend. My daughter hates me. Do you hate me too, or can you forgive me?"

EJ don' wan' no stinkin' advice from Stefano. He tells him about the plans for the ceremony and says he doesn't want him there, "You are dead to me." Kate brings Johnny down. EJ scoops him up, gives Stefano a parting shot and leaves.

Daniel gropes... uh... for words, that is. He says he can't answer Carly right now, "Nothing is the same. Excuse me, I have to go check on my daughter." He turns and leaves. Carly sobs.

Bo and Hope rush into Melanie's room as Phillip screams at Vivian. Vivian claims innocence. The doc says Melanie is doing OK, "let her get her rest." He leaves.

Melanie stirs. Phillip asks if she is OK. Bo asks if Vivian hurt her.

Melanie zones out, "Vivian? I had a dream about Vivian. I think it was Vivian. I just want to go back to sleep."

Vivian asks if she can go. "Yeah," growls Bo, "And don't ever come in here again."

Vivian gets snooty, "I would address that to Carly." She tells Phillip she wishes Melanie the best and goes. Bo and Hope follow. Outside, Bo scolds the guard for leaving his station.

Carly calls and asks Bo to come to the pub. "Just give me a few minutes," says Bo. He turns and looks at Hope.

Hope gives him a look that says, "It's a good thing I'm not carrying my gun."

Sami, Will and Rafe wait at the pier. EJ rushes up with Johnny. Allie sits on the dock and plays with the garbage floating by. EJ says they can't start the ceremony just now.

Bo asks if Carly is OK. She says she just needs to see him. He hangs up and gives Hope another glance. Hope asks, "Carly?"

"Yeah," says Bo, "I have to fill her in on what happened here. It would be easier to do face to face... in bed."

Lawrence the peeved poltergeist stops Vivian as she goes into the Kiriakis mansion, "Aunt Vivian. How could you do this to me? You promised to kill Melanie. Why didn't you?"

"I realized she's an innocent girl," says Vivian, "We both have to accept that."

Ghostly Lawrence erupts, "No! You have to go finish the job."

"Goodbye Lawrence," says Vivian. He dematerializes. Vivian goes inside.

Kate says she noticed Stefano didn't warn EJ about Rafe's questions. Stefano says he never will, "Let Mr. FBI take Elvis down. It will serve him right."

EJ asks Will and Rafe to take the kids back to the car so he can talk to Sami alone. Rafe protests and reminds EJ that Sami will tell him what they talk about anyway. Sami says everything will be OK, so Will and Rafe cart the kids off.

Sami asks what the big deal is. EJ says he's just not ready for the gathering. Sami says it's not about them but it's about the kids. EJ starts to leave. Sami grabs him, "You're going to tell me the truth and you're going to tell me right now."

Vivian stands in the den and asks herself, "What was I doing?"

Victor comes in and snarks, "I thought you were going for a stroll. What? Were you setting the record for the longest walk ever by a senior citizen?"

"The walk was refreshing and enlightening," says Vivian, "I had a sudden realization. I hate to change plans but I have to. You're right, Melanie is innocent, and Phillip would suffer if he lost her. I didn't succeed in killing her, but there is still good news about Carly. She'll be going to prison and will be haunted by the fact her daughter hates her."

Bo meets Carly outside the pub. They hug and she says she talked to Daniel, "He's so angry. All I wanted to do was protect him and Melanie and I think I have lost them forever."

"You lost Melanie," asks Bo, "Well, every cloud has a silver lining."

Melanie sleeps. Daddy Danny comes in and stares.

EJ claims it's nothing. It seems "nothing" is another ransom note.

He pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to her, "I think Sydney is alive."

Sami huffs, puffs and gasps.

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Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Melanie's Father

Carly is with Melanie in her hospital room and Melanie keeps up her rant. She rambles on about the horrible life she had with Trentzilla and then Carly drops another bomb, "Trent wasn't your biological father."

"Who is it," whines Melanie, "You don't even know do you?"

Victor, Stefano and their goons are meeting in the DiMera mansion rumpus room. They divide Salem. Victor says, "Everything north of 14th is Kiriakis territory. That was the deal. I get the ice cream shoppe, and you get Chuck E. Cheese. Everything seems pretty well settled and Stefano congratulates Victor on Melanie's prognosis. Victor thinks Stefano seems distracted. Stefano tells him Sydney died. Victor is shocked and offers his condolences, "Who would do such a thing?"

"In Salem," says Stefano, "Who wouldn't?"

EJ watches Sami and Rafe as they lie in bed sleeping. Sami opens her eyes. Looks up at him and squeechy music plays.

Daniel and Chloe are at the pub chowing down. Apparently, Chloe is still eating for two. Chloe grills Daniel about his friendship with Carly.

Gus meets Vivian at the pier. She tells him to get packed, "I'm leaving after I finish my business."

Gus asks, "You're going after Carly again?"


Bo and Phillip talk. Hope swoops in out of the blue and accuses Bo of being in love with Carly.

Carly is insulted Melanie would think she doesn't know who her father is, "I know who your father is. I keep track on a spreadsheet. A Big one. He's kind and caring."

Melanie loses patience, "What's his name?"

Carly stares, "Melanie, you're father... It's not easy to explain."

Melanie jumps to conclusions, "It's Bo, isn't it?"

"No," stammers Carly, "just give me a little more time with this..."

Melanie explodes, "Why do you need more time? Just go away. LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Things get uncomfortable outside in the waiting area. "Let's not do this right now," says Bo.

"Why not," snorts Hope, "Phillip's family. Get it off your chest. Why are you so determined to help Carly? It's because you love her, isn't it?" Carly walks into the background.

Bo consults the Guy Manual, "This isn't the time or place. What ever you do, DO NOT, REPEAT, DO NOT SAY YOU LOVE HER."

"Yeah," says Bo, "I do." Bo's last brain cell jumps off a cliff and emits a primal scream as it hurtles into oblivion.

Carly watches, "Bo?" Bo turns. Bo stares at Carly. Carly stares at Bo. Hope stares at both of them. Phillip picks lint out of his navel.

Sami gasps, "EJ, what are you doing here?"

Rafe stirs, "What's going on?" EJ pulls a disappearing act.

Sami turns to Rafe, "EJ... he's here."

"Are you fantasizing again," asks Rafe.

EJ rushes through the living room and swings his arm around like an organ grinder who's missing his monkey. He picks up a vase and smashes it to smithereens. That'll show that nasty old vase.

Phillip decides this would be a good time to go visit Patch and Kayla in Bora Bora. He runs into Melanie's room instead. Melanie wails, "You shouldn't have married me! I don't know who I am!" Sorry, Phil, the right choice was Bora Bora.

Carly takes Bo aside, "I told Melanie how things worked out the way they did, but she still needs to know who her father is. I have to talk to him. He needs to know first."

"Your courtesy is boundless," says Bo. Carly leaves. Bo turns and faces Salem's version of the Wicked Witch of the West.

Chloe wonders why Chloe would give up her baby. Daniel thinks this is about Chloe's loss, not about Carly.

Phillip encourages Melanie as Maggie bounces in. Melanie orders French fries and soda from the pub. Busboy Phillip leaves on his mission. Melanie breaks down, "I'm a liar. Phillip doesn't understand. He doesn't know the real me. I don't think I do any more."

Vivian says she thinks revenge is the only ticket, "Melanie Layton Kiriakis will die tonight."

Daniel gets paged. Chloe tells him she'll be OK and says he can go. Daniel leaves to save lives. Chloe ties to figure whether to eat her chowdah with a fork or a spoon.

Vivian looks at her hands, "These hands will end it all tonight." Gus reminds Vivian the police are after her. He offers help, but Vivian refuses, "You just get us ready to leave and I will say a final farewell to Melanie."

Bo and Hope throw nasty looks at each other as a cop interrupts. Bo tells him to make sure Vivian doesn't go in to Melanie's room. The cop goes to stand guard. Bo and Hope exchange more nasty glances and walk off.

Stefano and Victor finish their crime-lord confab and talk about Sydney. "Killing an infant," says Victor, "There is nothing more heinous."

"You've never watched a DOOL marathon, have you," asks Stefano.

Victor says, "Death to whomever did this."

Stefano repeats, "Death..."

We pan up form the crushed vase as Sami comes out. EJ apologizes, "I'm not... the vase... I didn't see it." Sami tells him to forget it and asks why he's there. He says he came to pick up Johnny's things, "I didn't realize you were in bed."

Sami corrects him, "You mean you were surprised by whom I was in bed with."

"It's your life," says EJ.

Rafe comes out and Sami goes to get Johnny's things.

EJ says, "You can send me a bill for the vase."

Rafe isn't interested in the vase, "What makes you think you can walk into our house?"

"I am Johnny's father," says Rafe, "And you should be ashamed for taking advantage of Samantha when she is grieving."

"Why are you more concerned with me than your daughter," asks Rafe.

Anna walks with Sydney and rambles.

Sami comes back with a knapsack full of Johnny's things. EJ apologizes and leaves.

Rafe assesses the situation, "Something's off with that guy."

"He's upset we're back together," says Sami.

Rafe thinks it's more than that. Sami defends him, "He's upset his daughter is dead and he's trying to deal with it. I think we should do something for Sydney, and include EJ."

Vivian paces in the Kiriakis mansion den. She stops, turns and sticks her hand inside her coat à la Napoleon, "Lovely room... what might have been."

Vivian eyes her gloves on the bureau as Victor comes in, "Going somewhere Vivian?"

Melanie asks Maggie about Carly and says she has no idea how much she is supposed to trust her, "I keep trying to picture who she would be with."

"You'll need a wide-angle lens for that picture," says Maggie.

Melanie whines, "I want to know who my dad is!"

Daniel meets Chloe at the pier, "Is something wrong?"


Sami cleans up the pieces of the shattered vase and tells Rafe they will have to deal with the twins, "We have to tell them something... that she's... I think we should have a family gathering and I think we have to include EJ." She hugs him, CENSORED.

Bo plays cop. He's on the phone at the station barking orders, "I was a full APB. His name is Augustine Pascal... Calls himself Gus." Bo hangs up, turns and tells Hope, "I'm trying to neutralize Vivian."

"Then maybe you should put out an APB on her instead," says Hope, "I'm here to help. I'm back on the force and may be your only chance for saving Carly." OMG! The professionalism. Bo and Hope are able to put their differences aside and work together to foul things up.

Carly stammers around. She talks about being with Melanie earlier. Daniel can see it will be a while before she gets to the point, "We don't have to do this here. Lets go someplace where it's warm and comfortable and we can be alone."

"No," says Carly, "That's the kind of thing that got us into this mess in the first place."

Maggie counsels Melanie about coping. Melanie whines, "Remember when I said Carly shot that gun to protect me? What if That's true? What if my friend Vivian is trying to kill me?"

Out in the audience a weary DOOL viewer turns to her neighbor, "They'd never convict her in a million years."

Victor tells Vivian she's welcome to stay if she likes, "No reason for you to leave any time soon."

"Actually, Victor," says Vivian, "there is."

Anna plays with Sydney as EJ comes in. He hauls out a bottle of scotch.

Anna senses something is wrong, "What happened?"

"Rafe happened... silly little bitch."

"You shouldn't call him names," says Anna.

Will comes in. Rafe decides it's time for him to go talk to EJ, and leaves.

Victor says Phillip will eventually forgive Vivian, "He's forgiven Kate and me dozens of times."

"I'm not sure I'll make that cut," says Vivian.

Victor leaves to take Mr. Sumoto's call. Vivian drones, "Bye, Victor."

Melanie continues her whinefest, "Maggie... I should never have married Phillip. I just want to be a good wife to him. Blubber-blubber-blubber-blubber-blubber."

Phillip arrives at the pub and bumps into Chloe. He senses something is wrong. She insists it's nothing, "I thought I was pregnant but I wasn't and now Daniel and I are finally together and I can't even talk to him. I'm lying to him now. I feel like I can't be honest with him anymore."

"For nothing, that sure was a mouthful," says Phillip.

Carly sits Daniel down on the Salem Bench and continues to beat around the bush, "I wasn't just trying to protect Melanie. I was also trying to protect... her father."

Rafe shows up at the DiMera mansion. Stefano answers the door and Rafe says he's there to talk to EJ about Sydney. Stefano asks how EJ seemed when he saw him, "Was he grieving?"

"No," says the G-Man, "So... you haven't seen him do much grieving either, have you?"

EJ stomps around the hideout in a rage, "I showed her time and again where that man had failed her! What does she do? She just crawls back into bed with the man!"

"And you would rather that had been you?"

"No." Translation: "Yes."

"You have to know that Sami will never be alone," says Anna.

"What does that mean," asks EJ.

Anna explains, "It means the last time Sami's bed didn't have a man in it, it was out for repair. Whenever she gets needy she looks for a hero and always comes up with a man... Brandon... Lucas... Austin... Rafe... You... Stan... If you want Rafe out of her life, you have to find her a different hero."

Bo and Hope go over the information they have on Melanie's shooting. Hope wonders if it's hard for Bo to believe she would help on this.

"No," says Bo, "You're a damn good cop for someone who never comes in to work." He gets a call, "He is?"

Phillip tells Chloe she has to talk to Daniel.

Daniel asks if Bo is the father. "No," says Carly.

"Who is it," asks Daniel, "Can you tell me? Can you at least narrow it down to a section of the phone book? "

Although NBC's Olympics coverage has been dreadful, there is no truth to the rumor it plans to rename them "Olympics Of Our Lives."

Maggie continues to counsel Melanie and says she's going to go call Phillip. She encourages Melanie to rest and leaves. Outside, she staggers and the cop catches her. "I don't know why this would happen right now," says Maggie.

"How else are we going to get Vivian into that room," asks the cop. He takes her off for a glass of water as Vivian goes in.

Sami tells Will what's up. Will is in denial that Sydney is dead and tells Sami she should not accept it either.

Rafe asks, "How's EJ been acting with you — a little off?" Stefano refuses to discuss it and shows Rafe out.

EJ says he's been doing things wrong, "Now it's perfectly clear."

"That's what most people think after swilling a half-bottle of scotch," says Anna.

Bo gets off the phone and tells Hope she may get her chance to help Carly, And maybe even convict Vivian. Are you ready?"

Chloe changes her tune, "Maybe things will be better and we will share things again just like before."

Annie steps up behind her and sings, "TO-MORROW! TO-MORROW..."

Carly continues to stammer. Dan digs, "I assume this man is no longer a part of your life."

"He is he's a great friend," says Carly, "And I Hope it stays that way. Daniel... it's you. You're Melanie's father. It's you."

Melanie sleeps as Vivian walks up and grabs a pillow. She slowly walks toward her. Slowly... slowly... slowly...

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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Bad Vibrations

Missing a day of DOOL is like missing root canal. Unfortunately in either case, you're just postponing the misery until later. Here's what happened during yesterday's lost root canal session:

Rafe, Sami and EJ go through an angst-riddled conversation. Sami thinks Rafe isn't grieving for Sydney and kicks him out.

Sami discovers Rafe at his office, crying over Sydney.

Mia continues to attempt to undermine Gabi's relationship with Chad.

Bo gets upset with Carly for violating the terms of her release by going to see Melanie.

Lawrence the phantom urges Vivian to finish what she started with Melanie. Vivian realizes that's what has to be done.

Carly and Melanie's "mother and child reunion" doesn't go so well.

Melanie tells Phillip what Carly said about being her mother.

So, for those who haven't gone catatonic from all that excitement, here is today's spine-tingling edition:

Bo and Carly are at the pier. Phillip calls Carly and tells her Melanie wants to see her. Bo blows his stack, but Carly insists she has to go. Unwavering Bo "stands firm" but then decides to go with her. The man is the Rock of Gibraltar, isn't he?

Melanie dreams about the shooting and wakes with a start. Phillip decides she is in no condition to see Carly, but Melanie begs him to let her come anyway.

Stefano stands in the rumpus room talking on the phone. He crushes a cuban with his bare hands. He also crushes a cigar. Hey, what's a $75 cigar compared to two seconds of melodrama? "Thank you for letting me know," he drones.

He hangs up as Kate comes in and sees him brooding, "It's Sydney, isn't it?"

"No," says Stefano, "She hasn't called me in weeks."

Officer Lopez walks into the bustling cop-shop bullpen. He finds Hope sitting at a desk working and faints from the shock. Hope gets a call, "I'm sorry, but I can't comment on the Sydney DiMera case... OMG! No! that can't be true."

Rafe sits in his office and flashes back to bringing Sydney back to Sami. He holds Sydney's bloody clothes and huffs and puffs, then breaks down and cries. It becomes uncontrollable since emotion is a new thing to Rafe. Sami walks in and finds him bawling. Sami just can't have it that someone else is having a good cry without her, so she joins in.

EJ is at the hideout and tells Anna he's leaving Salem... for good.

Stefano tells Kate they found Sydney's bloody dress in the Salem river, "The FBI says she's dead..." Stefano breaks down and bawls, "My precious little Sydney is dead..."

EJ says he's going to tell Sami he needs a break and will take Johnny with him for moral support, then grab Sydney and head out on a permanent vacation. "And Sami will be permanently heartbroken," says Anna.

Rafe sees Sami and rustles through some papers like he's busy or something, but... hey, he's busted.

Carly and Bo head for Melanie's room. Phillip lets them in. Bo decides his eardrums can't take the shouting that is surely to follow so he goes out into the waiting area where he sees Hope.

"Thank God I found you," says Hope.

"That's your opinion," says Bo.

Sami says she should have known Rafe would grieve for Sydney and that he was just trying to be strong for her.

Hope drops the Sydney bomb on Bo. It reminds them of their ordeal with Ciara. Bo grabs her and hugs.

Carly wakes Melanie, "It's me, your mother."

Melanie comes unglued, "Don't ever call yourself that again says Melanie.

Hope suggests getting together with Ciara for dinner. Bo thinks that would be just great but, unfortunately, he's indisposed. He says he has to stay there. Hope assumes it has to do with Carly. That does it. Hope gives him a verbal thrashing, "You've been playing hero to her ever since she came back to Salem. You've sacrificed everything. I Hope to hell she's worth it." Hope stomps off.

Melanie says she wants answers, "I want to know how I came into this world. I want to know who I am."

"You are Premiere Party Girl. And as your mother I must tell you, I don't approve. You're grounded, young lady."

Sami is sorry for this, that and everything in between. Rafe is sorry he broke his promise and let her down. I'm sorry I'm watching. They go on and on about all this sorriness and seem so miserable and grief stricken I'm surprised they don't clear the desk and romp right there.

Kate comforts Stefano, who rants about his bastard son. He says he was certain Sydney would come back, "OMG, how could this happen? How could I be so wrong?" He proves Sami Brady ain' go nuthin on him as he collapses into a heap o' tears.

Anna tells Sydney she will miss her. EJ wonders where her maternal instincts were with Carrie. "I knew Carrie would be better off without me," says Anna.

EJ says he isn't having his children torn between two families, "They are DiMeras through and through."

Hope is at the Kiriakis mansion. Victor shows up and she says she has some questions for him.

Melanie asks Phillip to leave, "I think Carly will be more open with me if we are alone. I want to get this over with and then I'll never have to look at her again." Translation: by Christmas, they'll be singing Kum Bah Yah and hanging their bulbs next to each other on the Horton tree. Phillip leaves. Outside, he fills Bo in. Phillip is mad at the world, including Bo.

Melanie tells Carly about her parents, Jane and Trent. Carly says she didn't realize what a monster Trent was or she would never have let him raise her. Melanie blames Carly for making her life a living hell.

Sami says she couldn't get through anything without Rafe and a box of tissues.

Kate tells Stefano he can't blame himself for Sydney's death. Stefano zones out and talks about the way things could have been. He vows revenge on EJ, "God only knows what will happen to him. I swear to it. I swear to it."

EJ hands Sydney off to Anna and tells them both he will be back. He leaves and Anna says she has a bad feeling the plan will blow up in EJ's face.

Hope confronts Victor with the fact she knows he replaced the deadly comb. "That's far-fetched," says Victor, "You should focus on your true enemy, yourself."

Phillip lectures Bo for not telling him Carly was Melanie's mother. Bo defends his actions. Phillip vows to make sure nothing ever happens to Melanie again, "Melanie and I have something very special together... matching bullet wounds."

Carly tells Melanie when she was conceived she was married to Lawrence, who was a dangerous man, "He became paranoid and cruel."

"So you cheated on him," asks Melanie.

"Do as I say, not as I do," says mommy, "I'm not proud of it. I vowed in the future I would kill him before I went slumming again, so I wouldn't be a married woman having an adulterous affair. He told me he would kill you if I didn't pawn you off on some poor, unsuspecting schlump." Melanie wonders how Carly knows for sure she is her daughter.

Kate reminds Stefano there is nothing to say for sure Sydney is dead. EJ walks in, "So... you heard."

Stefano runs off the rails, "But not from you, you swine. Why didn't you let me know? Instead, I had to hear it from an outsider."

EJ explodes, "Because you are an outsider. You might want to steel yourself, old man. I'm taking a little trip and taking Johnny with me." Stefano flips out. Italian cruses fly. "There is nothing you can do," says EJ, "I'm taking Johnny away from the bad vibrations of this place."

Sami and Rafe cling to each other. Sami assures Rafe, "I don't blame you for Sydney's death, but wait a nanosecond and I'll change my mind. I love you so much, and that is what matters."

Carly says she remembers holding Melanie for the first time, "It was the most special moment of my life."

We flash back to Carly and Lawrence in the hospital room. He graciously lets Carly hold Melanie as unseen Trent waits in the wings to take her. Carly looks down at the little bundle of joy and vows, "Someday..."

Lawrence snatches the kid away, "It's even more painful now, isn't it?" He walks off as Carly bawls.

Carly snaps back to reality, "I knew I would always be able to recognize you."

Melanie asks, "So your daughter has a birthmark?"

"Yes," says Carly, "A picture of Satan on her forehead."

Hope tells Victor she can back Carly's story up, that she feared for Melanie's life.

"So," says Victor, "your testimony can keep Carly out of jail and in Bo's bed." A referee tosses a flag and penalizes Victor for unsportsmanlike conduct. "But," says Victor, "if you don't cooperate, she'll be out of Bo's life forever."

Rafe vows not to stop looking for Sydney's kidnapper. They leave to go back home, "We'll start looking for her in your bedroom."

Sympathetic Kate thinks Sami might need Johnny in her time of grief. "She has two other children," says EJ, "With Sami, kids are interchangeable." He goes.

Stefano thinks EJ is acting nervous and edgy. "I can tell something is amiss."

"I think you're a mile off," says Kate.

"Why would you say that," asks Stefano.

"Because you know what they say," says Kate, "Amiss is as good as a mile."

Bo tells Phillip he's having an officer posted at Melanie's door for protection. Phillip insists he can take care of her. "You got the wrong idea," says Bo, "I'm having him posted there to protect the rest of the hospital from Melanie. And I want your statement about the shooting."

Phillip nukes, "OK, here's my statement — I wasn't there when it happened and neither were you, and you aren't using me to get the woman you are sleeping with off scott-free."

Carly says she lived with Lawrence's abuse for years and then he vowed to track Melanie down. So she killed him.

The awful realization hits Melanie, "So, a man is dead because of me."

"Actually," says Carly, "Two men if you count the fact that Nick killed Trent because of you."

Hope refuses to make a disgusting deal with Victor. Victor twists the knife, "But Bo is with Carly and you're all alone."

"I'll be all right," says Hope, "I have a supply of pet flies I can pull the wings off of until Bo gets back."

Rafe tucks Sami in, "Get some rest." Sami asks him to stay with her a little bit. Rafe is all-too-happy to jump into bed with her. Outside, EJ comes up to the door and knocks.

Phillip accuses Bo of being loyal to Carly, "Are you blind?"

"I must be," says Bo, "I married Hope."

Hope walks up, "And... he's in love with Carly."

Carly insists none of this is Melanie's fault.

"I'm a curse on everyone's life," screams the curse, "I thought it was enough I had Trent's blood running through my veins, but I have yours too.

"It's not Trent," says Carly, "He isn't your father." The surprises just keep rolling in.

Victor calls Stefano and says he has to meet with him. Stefano isn't in the mood, but Victor convinces him. He hangs up and suggests Kate disappear because Victor is on the way over, "I have no idea what he wants but I'm sure we'll find out, won't we?"

Sami and Rafe cuddle. Not only is Rafe spending every waking minute tracking down Sydney's kidnapper, but he's also doing it without any clothes on because he's so busy looking for her he doesn't have time to get dressed.

Outside, EJ uses the hide-a-key and invites himself into Sami's place. He comes in and calls for her. No answer, so he walks to the bedroom door and gets a free show.

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Monday, February 22, 2010


Once again I'm on the road and once again the Prevuze Compound has been hit by what is popularly being referred to as another "snowmageddon." Snowclysm? Dare I say snowgasm? Anyway, I'm sure my satellite dish is sitting there buried under tons of the white defecation we've had so much of this year and, of course, it was unable to pick up the signal today.

This is terrible. It's an episode where Melanie reacts to learning Carly is her mother, and where Sami has both EJ and Rafe together to provide an audience for her hysterics. Think of the out-of-control screaming we'll miss. Oh, well, as they say, sic transit gloria crap.

Just to let you know, I have a "ton" of travel coming up this spring and summer. I'm working on upgrading my equipment so I will be able to post more consistently when I'm on the road, but at least as the weather warms up, we won't be faced with one of the main problems we've had recently, which has been snow blocking the dish and preventing us from getting the signal. I hope.

I'll be on Twitter and Facebook later with my usual post-show comments. I'm scheduled to arrive back at the snowbound compound later this afternoon and I'll immediately go to work cleaning off the dish so we don't miss any more of this riveting stuff tomorrow. In the meantime, make it a great M... Mon... Mond... uh... Friday eve-eve-eve-eve.

P.S. Ironic, isn't it? We've had more snow this winter than we've had in years and they're having to truck snow in to the Winter Olympics. I told them this would happen when they refused to hold the Winter Olympics on the Prevuze Compound.

Oh, yeah, and...
Happy birthday, George...

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Saturday, February 20, 2010


Days Of Our Lives could almost fall into the category of educational TV. OK, that's a ridiculous thought, but we did learn a few things this week, even if they weren't of earthshaking importance. Among many other things, here are a couple of tidbits we discovered:

1) It is actually biologically possible for a couple to have sex without a hint of love or commitment. Who knew? Well, of course, we all knew that, but it does raise a question. Since no money changed hands, does Nathan and Stephanie's gorilla-grind count as you-know-what if she accepted a lavish vacation in lieu of cash? Or, does it just count as mindless monkey-sex, especially since no one with an actual mind was involved?

2) Not content with just kidnapping Sydney to get back at Sami, EJ has now planted evidence to make the poor basket case think her daughter has died a horrible death. What did we learn from this? We learned first of all that in order to find the bottom of the barrel, EJ would have to look up instead of down. More importantly we learned there are still a lot of people out there who think Sami should overlook EJ's little "idiosyncrasies" and hook up with him. Maybe nice guys do finish last, even though some people might think of Screamin' Schizo Sami as more appropriately being the booby prize instead of the grand prize.

Ponder these things, dear readers as you get out and enjoy the terrific weekend at hand. Now, don't get too rambunctious, but is that a hint... just a hint of spring in the air?

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Friday, February 19, 2010

The Three Stooges On Crack

Arianna pours Brady a cup-o-joe at the pub as Brady reads a text from EJ, "EJ wants to meet me at the pier. OK — We hate each other's guts so why not hang out?" He gives Arianna a smooch & go. Some nasty guy follows him out the door.

Rafe comes in talking on the phone and ranting about dragging the river. Arianna hears him and gets all upset. "I'm sorry," says Rafe, "I'm losing it."

"I hate to tell you," says Arianna, "But you never had it in the first place. What happened?" He tells her about the bloody clothing.

Arianna whines, "I'm so sorry."

Rafe runs off the rails, "It doesn't prove anything! She could still be alive!"

"She'd be pretty cold undressed and floating in the river, though," says Arianna.

EJ strolls Outside as Anna calls. She tells him he's being cruel. He tells her she's being paid to do what she's been told.

Victor is at the police station talking on the phone with Daniel, "What do you mean Melanie is still in a coma?"

"I'm not sure," says Daniel, "I think I mean she's still in a coma."

"My high and mighty son called me down to the police station for questioning," says Victor, "I don't know what he wants to talk to me about. Carly is locked up — case closed."

Bo walks up and overhears, "Not exactly."

"Gotta go," says Victor, "Here comes the gestapo."

Bo takes him in for questioning, "There are a few things I'd like to know about your girlfriend."

Phillip screams for Vivian to come downstairs. She slowly comes down and asks what is wrong. Phillip unloads on her as he picks up a poker, "Tell me exactly what happened at the wedding reception."

Carly begs, "Baby, wake up."

Melanie's eyes open and shift around like a couple of crazed pinballs, "Where am I? Why are you here?"

"You're in the hospital, and you will be fine."

"What happened," gasps Melanie.

"Before or after I blew your butt to kingdom come?"

Melanie starts to remember things, "We got married... Where is Phillip?" She struggles to get up...


Apparently the drugs haven't kicked in. She goes into a rage that would do Sami Brady proud.

"You were shot," says Carly.

Phillip pokes the poker. Vivian cowers, "Put it down."

Phillip refuses, "I might need it. I am angry at my father. Seems he knew a big secret involving Melanie. Someone was plotting against her."


Phillip's eyes bug out like a Boston Terrier standing on a hotplate, "YES!"


Phillip grits his teeth, "My father chose not to tell anyone and now we don't know if she'll live."

Vivian turns away from the menacing poker as Phillip corners her, "Because Carly shot her."

Phillip is totally unglued, "Don't say Carly's name. I'm angry with my father. I want him to pay!"

Vivian asks, "What does that have to do with me?"

Phillip explodes, "He loves you. I kill you and he suffers. I want revenge. Would you do something like that?"


Phillip blows a gasket, "I don't believe a word you're saying!" He holds the poker parallel to the floor and rams it into Vivian's throat.

Bo tells Victor Vivian will pay for what she is done. Victor thinks it's wrong for the commissioner to be so biased. Bo tells him Hope remembers what happened in the basement and brings up the conversation she had was with Victor.

"All we talked about," says Victor, "was the wedding and Greek tragedy."

Bo tells him about the receipt for a comb. "It won't be difficult to prove accessory after the fact or conspiracy." Victor stares.

Vivian begs Phillip to stop. He tells her Hope corroborated everything, "You think Carly deserves to die because she did something to someone you love."

Vivian chokes, "Yes..."

"SO," screams Phillip, "You just gave me permission to do this." He cocks the poker back and gets ready to swing for the fences.

Melanie flashes back to getting shot, "You did it! You shot me!"

"Nobody's perfect."

EJ wraps things up with Anna and tells her to keep her mouth shut as Brady walks up. Anna turns to Sydney, "I can't get through to him when he is like this. Like Stefano. She looks at Tony's picture, "What am I gonna do?"

"Just hold on," says Tony, "I'll help when I come back from the dead."

Rafe continues to insist they don't know if Sydney is dead. Arianna asks if he told Sami this. "It's not a good idea says Rafe," says Rafe, "She's mad at me right now. She thinks I panicked the kidnapper. She thinks I'm dealing with this like it's any normal case, so she pushed me out."

EJ says he needs Brady to tell Nicole something, "Tell her Sydney is dead."

Arianna says Rafe shouldn't say anything to Sami, "Let her handle this her own way. And you keep doing what you think is right."

Brady gasps when he hears the news, "OMG! Sami knows?

"Yeah," says EJ, "And Nicole should hear it from someone who cares. I don't know how Samantha will get through this."

Victor calls Bo's bluff, "You don't have squat... unless you could find the person who did the work."

"He disappeared," says Bo.

"It's not hard to do when the SPD is after you," says Victor, "He and his wife have never seen Delphi."

"So you sent him to Greece," says Bo.

"No," says Victor, "An automotive plant in Kokomo. This is over."

Bo tells him he went to far this time. Victor disagrees, "Melanie is fighting for her life because your slut girlfriend shot her and she will pay." He leaves.

Abe walks in, "That went well."

"I knew the bluff wouldn't work," says Bo, "But I've got nothing else."

"I know," says Abe, "You're big on bluff, but not much when it comes to little things like facts, clues and evidence."

Back in Melanie's room...


Daniel rushes in as Melanie screams and tells Carly to get out. Melanie nukes, "She shot me! Why are you letting her go?"

"Because the awards ceremony for shooting you isn't until later," says Daniel, "She donated blood for you."

Melanie asks, "Why would she do that?"

"You need to ask her."

Phillip rages. He makes a check-swing, "You're not worth it. You're not worth anything." He flings the poker and starts to go. Vivian tells him when he calms down he'll realize it's all a pack of lies. Phillip ain' buyin' what Vivian's sellin'.

Carly stands out in the hall and cries as Daniel comes out. He says he thinks Melanie will be OK, "She'd like to see you — behind bars."

"I'm scared," says Carly.

Daniel gives her a grope for good luck, "Keep your chin up."

Melanie looks at Carly as she comes into the room, "Why did you shoot me?"

"I believe in doing my civic duty."

Abe wants Bo to do something drastic like make a case. Bo defends himself, "Just because this is personal doesn't mean I can't do my job."

"You can't do your job when it isn't personal," says Abe, "Slow down and think about what this could do to your family."

"I would," says Bo, "If there was anything left of my family."

Vivian bobs and weaves, "I knew Carly was Melanie's biological mother. I took Melanie up to the roof to explain things. Carly is the one who shot her."

Phillip is apoplectic, "You and Dad both have a story for everything."

"Melanie suffered all her life," says Vivian, "because Carly was a horrible mother."

Daniel calls Victor and tells him Melanie is OK. He asks to talk to Phillip. Victor says he'll have him call. He hangs up and drones, "So, Carly... Melanie will be able to testify against you."

Carly tiptoes around the subject at hand. There's too much of the show left to drop the big bomb right now. She says Vivian wanted to hurt Melanie and that's why she fired the gun, "You stepped in front of her and saved her life. But she wanted to beat you with the steel pipe she was holding. This wasn't about you."

Melanie doesn't get it, "She wanted to beat me in the head, but it wasn't about me?"

"No," says Carly, "It was about me."

Arianna finds Brady and EJ, "Rafe told me what happened. I'm sorry."

EJ is aloof, "Did he? Is he?" Brady wants to know what this is all about.

EJ says, "My daughter is dead because of your brother." He leaves. Arianna fills Brady in on what Rafe said. She defends Rafe and riles against Sami for not understanding. Brady tells her EJ asked him to tell Nicole.

Arianna flips out, "Sydney is dead because of her and we're supposed to feel sorry for her? I Hope it kills her."

Abe asks Bo to tell Carly to keep a low profile. "I'm already on top of it," says Bo, "And Carly."

Victor comes in as Vivian and Phillip continue to argue. "Carly is self absorbed," says Vivian.

Phillip shuts her up and sees Victor. Victor tells him Melanie is awake. Phillip heads for the hospital. "Give her my love," says Vivian.

Phillip turns and unloads on her, "I see right past your ghastly smile into your decay-ridden soul." He turns and leaves.

Victor says, "You have some bridge building to do."

"I've lost him," says Vivian.

"You deserve to."

"It's Carly's fault," she says.

Carly tries to 'splain things to Melanie, "Vivian wanted to hurt you. She blamed me for my husband's death."

"Well," says Melanie, "You did stab him."

"She knew it would kill me if anything happened to you," says Carly.


"I'd tell you now, but... let's drag this out until the end of the episode, shall we?"

Rafe is at the pub on the phone with Tim, thanking him for what he has done. He gets off and looks at a picture of Sami and Sydney, then he gets up and leaves.

EJ calls Anna and says she might not hear from him for a couple of hours.

Bo tries to call Carly but can't reach her, "We need to talk." He gets off and tells Abe Carly is probably sleeping. Abe reminds him since he posted bail what she does is his responsibility. Abe leaves. Bo huffs, "Thanks for the support. Come on Carly... tell me I didn't make a mistake."

Victor pours a drink. Vivian says that's a good idea and asks him to pour her one, too. He tells her he's cutting off her booze given all the scrutiny she will be under. Vivian protests, "I can handle that."

"Really," growls Victor, "The way you handled the last fiasco? That really ran like a Swiss watch, didn't it? All the planning... All the audio-visual aids... The Three Stooges on crack could have come up with a better plan."

Vivian defends herself, "But all's well that ends well. Phillip and Melanie will be OK. Carly will be in prison and Bo can do nothing."

"Bo can do nothing as long as I keep quiet," says Victor, "You disobey me one more time and you will spend your golden years in an orange jumpsuit."

Carly whines, "You mean a lot to me."

Melanie doesn't understand why, "We just met."

"No," says Carly, "We met once before. Long, long ago and far, far away."

Arianna insists Nicole is responsible for all this and tells Brady he shouldn't defend her. Brady says Nicole is out of their lives. Arianna doesn't believe that is true, "She's standing right here... between us."

Rafe walks up to Sami's door and knocks. EJ answers.

Vivian says, "You won't put me away because of what you would miss."

"What," snarks Victor, "your delightful company?"

"No," says Vivian, "It would exonerate Carly."

"Don't push it," sneers Victor, "This isn't over yet." He leaves.

"You're not kidding," says Vivian.

Bo rants because he can't contact Carly, "Dammit... you didn't... you did not!" She did.

Daniel stops Phillip from rushing in to see Melanie. Phillip wonders why he is stalling

The old John and Marlena tinkle music plays. Melanie loses her patience, "Dammit, Carly tell me what you know!"

"The reason you don't remember when we met before is you were just a little baby. I only held you for a moment, but it was the most wonderful moment of my life."

Why would holding some baby be the most wonderful moment of your life," Enquiring minds want to know.

Finally... we get to the point after the longest hour in the history of television... well, except for the last episode of DOOL... or the one before that... "I was holding my daughter," says Carly, "Melanie, I'm your mother."

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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Hey Chloe You're Nuts — You Should See A Shrink

Justin sits by Hope in her hospital room. Hope hallucinates, "No! Stop her! No!"

Justin quiets her, "It's all over. I'm right here."

Hope zones out, "Bo..."

Bo is at the cop-shop talking on the phone, "Tell Hope I'll be there as soon as I can, Lexie."

Carly comes in and overhears, "Let me talk to her." She tries to grab the phone but Bo pulls it away from her. "How's Melanie," screams Carly. Bo snaps the phone shut and tells the cop who brought Carly in that he can leave. Carly huffs and puffs, "Oh, God... my baby.... is she dead?"

"There's no brain activity," says Bo, "But for Melanie, that's not a problem."

Phillip sits with Melanie and spews platitudes. Daniel comes in, "It's time for me to grop... uh... examine her."

Phillip asks about her prognosis. Daniel hesitates. "Tell me she's going to wake up," whines Phillip, "Tell me."

Woozy Hope asks Justin if Bo is out in the hallway. Justin dunno. She asks if Carly is all right, "Melanie... did Carly find her? My God... Vivian... where is she?"

Justin gives her the bad news, "Melanie was shot,"

Hope asks, "Vivian shot her?"

"Carly shot her."

"Wow," says Hope, "I believe in strict parenting but that's a little overboard." She starts to get up but Justin stops her. "I have to find Bo," she gasps.

Carly frets, "She's been comatose too long. What if she doesn't wake up? Her life has been hell because of me and now she could die."

"Don't fall apart," orders Bo, "Don't let Vivian and Lawrence win. Vivian will pay. I will make sure of that."

Nathan smooches Stephanie who has morphed into Melanie — sans gunshot wounds.

Smelanie dives in for more and then Nathan pops out of his fantasy as Stephanie brings breakfast in bed. She asks about his dream. Nathan consults the Guy Manual, "If you'd rather eat that breakfast than wear it, we advise you clam up."

Daniel takes Phillip out into the waiting area and tells him Melanie is stable. "Then why doesn't she wake up," asks Phillip.

"What part of 'stable' confuses you," asks Daniel, "Waking up would be 'improving.' Don't tell the AMA I said this, but what I need now is for Melanie to feel safe. I don't want her to know how scared you are. I'd also like Maggie to go in there. She needs to be surrounded by people who love her and, as you know, they are few and far between."

Stephanie tells Nathan he was tossing and turning all night. She asks what he was dreaming about. He sidesteps the issue and kisses her.

Arianna and Brady cuddle in bed. Arianna smiles, "I'm not in prison dreaming. I'm here with you."

"You are here," says Brady, "and I am here."

"This is awful," says Arianna.

"Now that was a real mood swing," says Brady.

"No," says Arianna, "I was talking about the dialog. I'm also thinking it's wrong to be happy with Melanie... and Phillip..."

"The one thing about Melanie is she sure doesn't give up," says Brady, "She will be all right. She has to be."

Eleanor Snodgrass from Walla Walla stands up in the audience, "SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!"

Maggie joins Phillip and Melanie. Maggie spews a few platitudes.

Carly insists Vivian has won. Bo insists she hasn't. Carly insists she has. Bo insists she hasn't. Carly... you get the idea. Bo says there is something he has to do and leaves.

William Shakespeare looks on, "Why couldn't I write scenes like that?"

Justin forces Hope to stay in bed. Hope asks about the comb. She figures Victor must have switched it, "That means Victor didn't mind if Vivian was trying to kill Melanie just as long as she didn't get away with it."

Bo comes back in, "You are free to go."


"I posted your bail," says Bo, "You're not gong back to your cell when Vivian is free."

"That was a lot of money," says Carly, "Where did you get it?"

"Hope's petty cash drawer."

"I don't know how to thank you."

"For starters," says Bo, "Don't jump bail... And don't go anywhere near your daughter."

Hope dresses. Justin says, "You shouldn't be leaving. You have a head injury and there can be serious consequences if you ignore it."

Natasha Richardson's ghost backs him up, "He's right. It's not really advisable to ignore head injuries."

"She's got that right," says Michael Kennedy.

"Couldn't agree more," says Mark Donohue.

"It's got my vote," says Sonny Bono.

Chloe finds Daniel. They talk about Melanie's condition. Chloe wonders if she will be OK. "I can't say right now," says Daniel, "I can't deal in false hope."

"Whereas I can manufacture it," says Chloe.


"You don't have to go through this alone," says Daniel, "I am (say it with him) here for you. I love you and always will. I think you need help."

Maggie sits beside Melanie and spews platitudes.

Carly wants to see Melanie. "If you are within 20 feet of her," says Bo, "not only are you exposing yourself to her cooties, but you are also in violation of your bail and will go back to jail. Let me prove you were trying to protect her." He gets a call, "I'll be right there." He hangs up and tells her he has a call with someone from Switzerland who can prove Vivian knew Melanie was her daughter. He leaves.

Carly drones, "I'm sorry Bo, but no one will keep me from my daughter."

Daniel tries to comfort Chloe. Chloe tries to comprehend... anything. Daniel suggests she see a therapist. He gives her the therapist's card and says he made an appointment, then gets a page and leaves.

Chloe sighs, "Well, Daniel, it looks like you have it all worked out for me."

Brady arrives at the hospital and talks to Phillip about Melanie. Maggie comes out and tells them not to give up hope. Brady goes in for the next shift. Phillip asks how could this have happened.

"Carly didn't get her marksmanship merit badge when she was in the Girl Scouts," says Maggie.

Brady sits with Melanie and spews more platitudes.

Bo stands in the interrogation room talking on his phone. He leaves a message for Carly, "You said you would stay put."

Hope walks in. Bo lectures her for leaving the hospital. "I know what happened," says Hope, "I am the one person who can get Carly out of this mess. Is she still in her holding cell?"

Carly sneaks around the hospital.

Chloe is on the phone at the pub canceling her appointment with the shrink. She drops her phone and Arianna picks it up, "That doctor's appointment isn't serious is it?"

"Daniel seems to think it is."

Daniel and Maggie talk about Melanie. Daniel thinks things may not be good but doesn't think it would be a good idea to tell Phillip. Maggie decides to call Nathan and give him the good... uh... bad news. Daniel leaves. Maggie calls, Nathan and leaves a message asking him to call her.

Nathan and Melanie come back from the slopes chattering about her first time on a snowboard. "Who's idea was it for this vacation," asks Stephanie.

"I have good ideas," says Nathan. He gets other ideas and hauls her onto the bed. Stephanie is so into it she notices there is a message on his phone. Nathan chucks his phone and dives in.

Daniel asks Phillip to go home and get some rest. Phillip agrees and they walk out together as Carly sneaks in.

Brady spews more platitudes and then leaves. Carly skulks. After Brady is out of the way she starts to go into Melanie's room. Daniel sees her, "Just what the hell do you think you are doing?"

Nathan and Stephanie cuddle. Nathan goes for a shower and invites her to join him. "Go warm up the water first," says Stephanie. Nathan leaves. She digs into her purse and pulls out that crazy note from Melanie. She reads it again. Nathan walks out, "What's that?"

"It's a letter from Melanie."

Phillip opens the door at the Kiriakis mansion to find Justin. He reports there is no change with Melanie, "Before you go back to the hospital you need to know something."

Bo speculates Victor thought he could neutralize Vivian before she did any harm. Hope asks if Carly is still in jail. "No," says Bo, "she's out."

"But her bail was so high," says Hope, "How did she get it? She couldn't get her hands on that kind of money."

"She got her hands on that kind of money because I got my hands on her," says Bo.

Daniel lectures Carly for trying to see Melanie. Carly begs, "But I want to go in there and spew platitudes." She spews a few sample platitudes as she argues with him and begs him to let her in.

Chloe tells Arianna Daniel thinks she should see a therapist, "But he can't just come out and say, 'hey, Chloe, you're nuts — you should see a shrink.'"

"Sounds like good advice to me," says Arianna, "Look at the bright side, if Marlena were still on the show, you'd have to see her." Arianna convinces her to give it a try and leaves. Chloe wads up the therapist's card.

Bo tells Hope how he got a big wad-o-money to help Chloe. "I didn't even know there was such a thing as a third mortgage," says Hope, "And I think you did it because you love her."

Carly begs. Dimwit Daniel buys it. They go into Melanie's room.

Stephanie says Melanie gave her the note before the wedding and reminds Nathan they agreed not to talk about her, "I feel bad for what happened between you two guys — are you mad?"

I will be," says Nathan, "if you don't get our butt in the shower with me." He leaves and Stephanie tears up the note.

Hope says she thought when Bo saved her from the box-valanche things would change for them, "It's too late, isn't it?" She walks out.

Justin tells Phillip everything Carly said was true, "Vivian was plotting to kill Melanie. Carly was trying to protect her. Vivian had Carly kidnapped. But there's more. The comb... was a gift form Vivian. She was trying to poison her. Victor found out and switched the combs."

Phillip gasps, "My father knew?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"And Hope said all this was true?"


Phillip asks Justin to go, "I needed to know this. I have to handle it myself." Justin leaves. Phillip walks out into the foyer and looks upstairs, "Vivian! Could you come down? We need to talk."

Daniel escorts Carly into Melanie's room, "This is against my better judgment. You have five minutes and that's it." Carly sits and spews platitudes.

After endless platitudinous minutes, Carly starts to leave. Suddenly Melanie chokes and looks around. Carly runs back to her and caresses her cheek, "Let me make it up to you."

Daniel rushes in, "OMG! It's acute platituditis! Crash cart! Stat!"

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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Black Widow

Sami, Rafe and EJ are in the DiMera mansion rumpus room. EJ encourages Sami. Sami halfway ignores him and asks Rafe how long it will take forensics to finish its tests. Rafe goes off to find out. EJ tells Sami she's being a brave little trooper. Sami says she doesn't feel brave, "I prayed for a sign... anything and then we find her bloody dress..."

EJ tells her it doesn't mean anything because the dress is common, "Rafe doesn't know anything for certain."

Vivian rants against Carly. Carly insists Vivian was going to harm Melanie on the rooftop. The gals go at it and Bo tells Vivian to shut up.

Vivian ain' in no shuttin' up mood, "Oh... just because you're sleeping with the woman...." She turns to able, "Mayor Carver, aren't you going to do something?"

"I'll do anything for a campaign donation," says Abe. He turns to Bo, "If you don't arrest Carly, I'll have to get someone who will."

Back in the OR, Dr. Daniel operates, "Don't you dare give up, Melanie. That's my job" He turns to a nurse, "Time?"

"Ten minutes, Doctor," says Nurse Ratchet, "Should we call it? That long without oxygen could lead to brain damage."

"In her case," says Daniel, "There is nothing to damage. Come on Melanie!"

Sami goes into whine-a-paloosa. EJ hugs and comforts. And stares.

Carly tells Bo he doesn't have to protect her. She asks to be in the OR. Phillip blows his artificial stack. Lexie drags herself out into the waiting area looking like the harbinger of death.

Phillip gasps, "How is she?"


"Oh, God no," screams Carly. Lexie gives the DOOL death stare.

Commercial break... Hours pass... The sands of our hourglasses all run out...

Finally, Lexie gives her report, "Melanie coded on the table. Dr. Jonas is doing what he can to revive her. She's a fighter so we are taking every possible measure." Carly offers to donate blood, "Melanie is AB- and I am AB- so I'd like to donate." Phillip agrees. Bo escorts Carly into an office where Vlad the Phlebotomist goes to work on her.

Back out in the waiting area, Kate walks in dragging a log with a bump on it. Oh, sorry, that's not a bump on a log, that's Lucas. It's hard to tell the difference.

Rafe walks back into the rumpus room and says there is no news yet, "Don't worry, they're dragging things out as much as possible."

Kate and Vivian argue. Abe is on the phone. Kate tells Phillip it makes no sense Carly would shoot her own daughter. Phillip performs a miracle and shuts them both up. Lucas has nothing better to do so he comforts Phillip.

Vivian thanks Victor for his support. Victor growls and gurgles, "If Phillip loses his bride because you disobeyed me... this isn't about Carly it's about Melanie. If she doesn't survive, your life as you know it will be over."

Bo asks Carly what happened. Carly tells him about Vivian kidnapping her, as she gives blood. Bo says he will put out an APB on Gus, "Vivian will not get away with this."

Carly drones, "She already has."

Sami asks EJ to tell her stories about Sydney. EJ rambles on. Rafe gets a call as EJ tells Sami Sydney was musical. Rafe tells them it's forensics on the line. We wait.

Carly tells Bo Victor switched the deadly comb and that's why Vivian took Melanie up to the roof. She says she took Hope's service revolver but didn't intend to use it, "I should never have come back to Salem."

Kate comforts Phillip, "I am praying for you and for Melanie. I love you. I do. you are generous... sweet... bionic..." Hugs.

The operation continues. Daniel encourages Melanie to stay strong and fight.

Anna shows Sydney her new sun-suit, which Anna thinks will be appropriate for where she is going for her brand new life with her daddy.

Rafe continues his phone conversation, "You're sure? OK." Rafe hangs up, "The DNA results are back."

Sami asks, "Is it Sydney's blood?"

Rafe nods, "Yes."


Bo tells Carly it wasn't a mistake for her to come back to Salem. Carly disagrees. She insists Vivian followed her to Salem and this whole mess is all because of Carly's selfishness. Bo reassures her, "When Melanie recovers and finds out what you did to save her she will be grateful and happy. Or not." Hugs.

They pump Carly's blood into Melanie. Lexie informs Daniel that Carly is Melanie's mother. Dr. Dan's eyes pop out. "It's a long story," says Lexie, "We've drug it out for months."

Daniel orders Melanie off bypass, "Now, we wait."

Beep... beep... beep...

As train wrecks go, Sami Brady is at the top of the heap. Rafe and EJ try to convince her they don't know for sure that Sydney is dead. Rafe changes his tune from "I will get Sydney back" to "I will find who is responsible."

A small mushroom cloud settles over Salem as Sami reacts. She screams and flails at Rafe, "I DON'T CARE WHO IS RESPONSIBLE! I JUST WANT MY DAUGHTER BACK!"

EJ flashes back to spending time with Sydney, "I just want you to have stability. None of this moving back and forth between parents. I want that for you and your brother. We'll be together. Just the three of us."

Sami ejects herself from the game of sanity.

Carly and Bo walk out into the waiting area. Victor takes a couple potshots at Carly, "If she's done bleeding herself, please escort her out." Carly begs to stay until they know Melanie is OK. Abe vetoes it. Brave Bo takes Carly aside to arrest her.

Abe turns, "I'm taking you in too, Vivian. As a suspect."

"Who put you back on the police force," asks Vivian.

"Like the mayor of most small towns," says Abe, "I'm a self-serving demagogue who has no clue how the city works and I think I have more power than the President and can do anything I damn well please."

Abe has officer Sullivan handcuff Vivian. Hizonner reads her rights, "You're accused of attempted murder. You have the right to remain silent..."

Vivian gasps, "Victor, do something." He does. He stares.

Bo cuffs Carly, "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be."

Bo drones, "You have the right to remain silent..." He escorts her off. Stares abound.

Sami is exhausted. Hissy fits really take it out of you. "We didn't give that woman money and she didn't need Sydney any more, so she threw my little girl away." She turns to Rafe and plays the blame-game, "She threw her away... Just like I told you she would. I told you... I told you... I told you... I told you... I told you... " I guess she must've told him.

Kate asks Victor if Vivian was going to push Melanie off the roof. Victor ignores her. Kate gives him both barrels, "I know why you brought that malevolent witch into your house. You both wanted to bring Carly down. If Melanie dies..."

Victor walks all over her tirade, "Your concern for her is disingenuous. You hate the girl. Just like Chloe."

"Chloe was cheating on Lucas."

"I need to be alone," growls Victor.

Kate rants, "Because you are feeling sorry for yourself or guilty? You know you are responsible for all this. I remember the vigil for Phillip and together prayed for his recovery. If his heart is broken it's your fault. You brought Vivian back into our lives."

Bo grills Vivian down at the cop-shop. Vivian doesn't have much to say. "We can do this all night long," says Bo.

"I assume you mean squandering your time," says Vivian, "The mayor just told me I have the right to remain silent." Bo interrupts the silence for her and runs through a litany of the crimes he suspects her of.

Vivian mocks, "Oh, blah-blah-blah."

"When Hope wakes up," says Bo, "she will corroborate Carly's story, so if I were you, I would pray to whatever god you know that Melanie survives."

"I will pray," says Vivian, "I will."

Lawrence's ghost is in the inquisition chamber with Carly. He applauds, "A standing O. That's what you deserve. One bullet... perfect aim. I couldn't have done better myself."

Sami has nothing left. Rafe says he has to go make calls. Sami follows and tells EJ they will talk soon. She and Rafe leave as EJ remembers talking to Johnny, "You might be hearing some not so good things about your sister soon but they aren't true and that is our little secret."

Rafe sits in the pub. Haggard Sami joins him, "So much for being with family. Grandma is asleep and Will is out with Mia."

Rafe asks, "Do you want to go home?"

"No," says Sami, "I want to stay here. And brood in public." Rafe goes to make the calls. Sami digs out her own phone, "Hey it's me. I was wondering if you could come talk to me at the pub. Something terrible has happened. I ate the chowdah."

EJ arrives at the hideout and tells Sydney he missed her. He congratulates Anna on her role, "The stage is finally set. Now we can have a stable life for you and your brother. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?"

Phillip asks if Victor knew about the connection between Carly and Melanie. Victor completely sidesteps the issue, "Whatever Vivian did she acted alone, but I have grown genuinely fond of Melanie. I am praying for her recovery and for you to have a long and happy life. I really mean that." Hugs. Kate watches.

Bo gets off the phone and tells Vivian she's free to go. Vivian taunts, "Oh, you don't seem too happy about that... Look at the pressed face, furrowed brow, clenched jaw."

Bo warns, "Don't get to comfortable."

"That would be good advice for you, too," says Vivian, "Now that you've let the black widow into your house."

"Hope hasn't moved back in yet," says Bo. Vivian leaves.

Lawrence tells Carly the next time she wants to protect those she loves to turn the gun on herself.

Daniel and Lexie come out and announce they saved Melanie, but things are touch and go. They let Phillip go in to see her.

Victor gets a call, "What? I will. Thanks." He turns and says to anyone who happens to be listening, "It seems Vivian has been released for lack of evidence."

"Lack of evidence," asks Kate, "You're protecting her. She almost ruined Phillip's life. Why would you want to protect her?

Vivian stands alone, "Lawrence, darling. I did this all for you. May you rest in peace."

Bo comes into the interrogation room and uncuffs Carly, "I have to take you down to your cell."

"If Melanie dies," says Carly, "I Hope they give me the death sentence."

"Whatever happens," says Bo, "I will (say it with him) be there for you to remind you what you have done was to protect your daughter. When she recovers things will be very different for her. She will finally know a mother's love."

"Nothing says mother's love like a Glock-9," says Carly.

Melanie vegetates. Phillip puts her ring on, "We didn't get our first dance, but we will because you are too feisty to let them take that away from us." Hand smooch.

Carly prays, "Melanie, please know I love you and have always loved you from the moment you were born until the moment I blew your guts to kingdom come." Bo hugs.

Melanie beeps... Phillip watches.

Lucas arrives at the pub and hugs Sami, "I am so sorry." Rafe stands across the room and makes his call.

"What do we do," says Sami, "How do we tell Allie?"

"We have to find her first," says Lucas, "Then we'll figure something out. I want you to know (say it with him) I'm here for you." Lucas asks who Rafe is calling. Sami dunno.

Rafe barks orders, "Have the river dragged. Do whatever it takes."

Sami falls apart, "I can't stay here. Not with him." Sami bolts. Lucas chases.

Sic transit gloria Lucas.

Anna lectures EJ, "You let everyone think this little girl is dead!" EJ defends himself by bringing up Sami's shenanigans with Grace. Anna asks, "So you're paying Sami back like this? I'm a mother. I know Sami has done hateful things, but to lose another child..."

"You listen," says EJ, "This little girl and her brother are far better off with me than Samantha. I have a new life with them. We're going to disappear. Right now."

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