Thursday, May 31, 2007

Sweet Cheeks And Hot Buns

The boys play catch on the beach as Chelsea and Stephanie walk in wearing material that may someday grow into bikinis. Stephanie calls for her boyfriend, "Hot Buns," and runs over to him. Chelsea follows. Hot Buns sees Stephanie running up and yells, "SWEET CHEEKS!" Her outfit leaves no doubt which pair of cheeks he is referring to.

Stephanie runs up and hugs him and then makes introductions, "Chelsea, this is my boyfriend, Jeremy Horton." Jeremy's friend Jett stands beside him and steps in to introduce himself.

Jett is Abe carver's nephew. Jeremy offers them a beer. Chelsea sets herself up to be the episode's stick-in-the-mud by turning it down. She says beer makes her sleepy. Jett says it makes him sleepy, too and shows her he's drinking a can of pop.

Stephanie has a bright idea for the Salem airline. It needs two hot attendants like her and Chelsea. Unfortunately the boys have some bad news. Sweet Cheeks asks, "What are you talking about? What happened?"

Hot Buns says, "We lost our investor. We're grounded."

Lucas is on the phone leaving messages all over town for Sami, telling her to head back to the pub. John tells Bo about the old letter. Larry, Curly and Moe don't like this. Lucas heads out to find Sami. Bo asks John for help. He's going to pay Tony a little visit. John likes the sound of that.

Sami wakes up duct taped to the steering wheel of a car with gas hissing in the background. Hey, on the schlock scale, it's a step above being tied to the railroad tracks with a train coming. Sami cries for help and then fades back out. EJ finds her and screams for her to wake up. Sami comes to and begs him to help. The locomotive steams ever-closer.

Hot Buns and Jett explain they own the plane, but not much else. They don't even have a hangar to put it in. Stephanie says she will make some calls and try to raise some money. They need $25K, which is $23K more than they have. The banks have already turned them down. Jett says, "We can get the money if we don't mind doing business with someone who sees our kneecaps as collateral."

Stephanie thinks of Max, "This sounds like something he would like to get a piece of."

Bart answers the door at the DiMera mansion to find Bo and John, "Well, if it isn't Batman and Boy Wonder. Why the long faces? Did you lose your capes?" Batman and Boy Wonder ask him to get Tony.

Gas spews inside the car as EJ begs Sami to stay awake. Sami blubbers and passes out again. EJ works his way into the sunroof and cuts the duct tape.

Chelsea throws a wet blanket on the party. She says Max doesn't have any money to invest. Stephanie says he has the garage. Chelsea thinks it isn't fair to ask him. She doesn't think friends should go into business together. They work on her, and Stephanie says she will make the call to Max.

Chelsea walks away. Jett goes over and tells her the way she went to bat for Max was impressive, "Uh... I was just gonna ask... if you're seeing anyone." Chelsea gives him a half-smile and considers a membership in the Hunk Of The Month Club.

Bo and John wait inside the mansion. Bo picks up an ugly statue and says, "I forgot, who is the interior decorator here?"


Suddenly, a horse neighs. Bo opens the door and sees Tony ride into the house.

"Mama mia," says Bo.

"Sweet Mother of God," says John.

Tony gets off the horse. He and John banter back and forth about how good each other looks after being away for a while. They exchange a few words about Stefano, but Tony assumes they aren't there to insult his father. Bo asks, "What the hell did you do with my niece... Sami?" Tony gives him a confused look.

EJ cradles Sami and gets no response. He starts giving her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Lucas runs up and panics like a little girl. He takes over the mouth-to-mouth gig. Sami chokes. She wakes up and gushes over Lucas for saving her.

EJ stands in the background, "Curses foiled again! "

Chelsea tells Jett she is seeing a guy named Nick. Jett guesses Nick must be smart, into science and wears glasses. Chelsea wonders how he knew that. Jett chuckles and says he was just kidding. Jeremy overhears and says he thinks Nick sounds like a total geek. Chelsea stands up for Nick. They get into it, but Stephanie runs up and says Max is on the way. Jeremy attacks Stephanie and then picks her up and carries her off.

Chelsea tells Jett Jeremy is a jerk as they walk off together.

John grabs Tony and asks where Sami is. Tony doesn't know. He mocks John and says he will check the 11 o'clock news and see if he can find anything about her. Bo lays out the scenario in the warehouse. He says Tony was there and was ready to rip Sami's unborn child from her womb to use the stem cells. Tony claims Sami made that story up.

Bo and John tell Tony EJ corroborated the story with a statement. Tony just doesn't know where she is. He looks under the sofa, "What are you gonna do if I don't answer the questions?"

"We'll just talk to your old man," says Bo.

"You can't do that," says Tony.

"Watch us," says Bo. He and John head upstairs. Tony stops them.

"You want to talk now," asks John?

Sami snivels and wonders if the fumes hurt her or the baby. She was so scared she would never see Lucas again. She asks how he found her. He tells her and asks what happened. She gives him the story and tells him about waking up duct taped to the car. EJ comes back and says the ambulance is on the way. Sami is scared. She asks Lucas to call Marlena. Lucas has no signal, so he runs off to get one. Sami yells, "Pick up a clue while you're at it."

After Lucas leaves, Sami tells EJ she knows he is really the one who saved her, not Lucas. She is worried, "Maybe the next time I won't be so lucky."

Jett and Chelsea return to find Sweet Cheeks and Hot Buns playing tonsil hockey. He tells Chelsea he and Jeremy need to find a way to make a living. He likes taking risks. Jett doesn't know Abe very well. He grew up with his mom's family. Chelsea tells him about the Bensons and her biological parents. Jett doesn't know Billie but he has heard of Bo. Max walks up. Jett introduces himself. Stephanie and Jeremy don't join them since they are busy at the moment. Jett tells Max about his plans for Touch The Sky Airlines, "Our motto is, you can touch the sky as long as you fly by night."

Tony tells Bo and John they are wasting their time since Stefano isn't up there. He calls for Bart. Bart walks in and sees John and Bo halfway up the stairs, "You gonna let them go up to see Stefano?"

Tony rolls his eyes, "My God, Bart, I forgot how stupid you are."

Bart tries to stop Bo and John from going up. Tony steps in, "Where is your warrant?"

"Warrant," asks Bo, "Dang! I keep forgetting about those things."

Tony laughs, "I just love this country."

EJ says this was a warning. Sami thinks it was more than that. EJ tells her he received a phone call telling him where she was. They did it to frighten her. Sami says that certainly worked and tells him Tony is crazy. She and Lucas and Will have to get out of Dodge. EJ vows to look after her.

Lucas runs up. He says he heard that. He swears he will be the one to take care of Sami. EJ tells him he can't go up against the DiMeras. The only person who can fix things is EJ. Lucas accuses him of setting this up because he is in love with Sami.

The boys draw their business plan in the sand and show Max the projected earnings. Max grills them about the business and wonders how they can compete with the big airlines and charter services. They claim they have advantages over the other companies, "We have a lot of booze and sexy flight attendants. Chelsea, too." Max decides he is interested. Chelsea encourages him to back out. Max ignores her and says he has decided to go in with them. Chelsea rolls her eyes.

Bo and John stand at Tony's door. Bo says, "We'll be back with that thingamabob we have to get." Tony says it will take time to get a warrant. In the meantime anything can happen. He is heartbroken over EJ's disloyalty, but claims they aren't as close as the Brady's. Bo threatens him if he touches Sami. He and John leave. Tony shuts the door and smirks.

"The DiMeras are back in town and Sami's missing," says Bo, "I think the war with the DiMeras is back on." With the ability to do brilliant reasoning like that, the guy ought to be a cop.

EJ thinks Lucas can't stand the fact he came to save Sami. Lucas thinks EJ tried to kill her. He tells Sami not to let fear let her forget what is going on here, "EJ is Stefano's son." They all argue. EJ tells him the games are over. Tony won't stop. They are in serious danger. Lucas slugs him, "I take care of my wife! Me and me only!"

They boys high-five. Max just saved Touch The Sky Airlines. Chelsea takes Max aside and suggests he have Frankie look over the scribbling in the sand before he jumps in. Max insists he's in. He tells them to meet him in an hour and he will have a certified check for $25K. More high-fiving.

Sweet Cheeks assumes Hot Buns owes her for her help on this. She asks for a job.

Sami whimpers as she lies on her gurney. They wheel her off. Bo runs up and asks what happened. EJ says exactly what he said would happen, "Her life is in danger." Lucas demands they to arrest EJ. "What for," asks EJ, "Saving Samantha's life?" Lucas shuts up and runs after the ambulance.

John and Bo think EJ didn't just stumble onto this. They think someone called and told him what was going on.

"I can't help you, gentlemen," says EJ.

Bo slugs him in the stomach, "Try." Bo throws another punch for good measure.

EJ doubles over as John tells him they can do this all day, "Try telling the truth next time."

Jeremy tells Stephanie, "A job for you – no problem. Lorna Dune here will scare away the customers." Chelsea doesn't like Max selling his dream to invest in theirs. She's skeptical Max will make his money back, passes on the job and leaves.

Jett comes over to her and apologizes for Jeremy. Chelsea claims Jeremy is a rude, obnoxious woman-hater.

"He's not a misogynist," claims Jett.

"He just thinks women should be seen and not heard," says Chelsea. Jett invites her for a burger. Chelsea reminds him she has a boyfriend. He claims it's not a date. She gives in.

Stephanie says she can't wait to tell people about the airline. Jeremy tells her to keep it quiet until they get it up and running. He just doesn't want her parents to watch him fail if the airline doesn't make it. "For a minute I thought you were hiding something," she says.

"What happens on Touch The Sky stays on Touch The Sky."

Stephanie decides the owner has to give the flight attendant a backrub. Jeremy rubs looks into the distance.

EJ says he got an anonymous phone call. John thinks it probably was Tony. Bo grabs him. He wants the DiMeras to leave the Bradys alone. He orders him to tell Tony and Stefano to back off. EJ says he has to help keep Sami alive. If they were serious they'd start working with him, "This isn't about Brady vs. DiMera. It's about Stefano and Sami." Bo says if he finds out Sami or her baby are hurt, he will bury EJ. He leaves and John follows. EJ grimaces. He makes a call, "I need to talk to you, now." FF.


Chelsea says, "Why, Jett Carver, are you by any chance hitting on me?"

Nick tells Willow, "This stops now. I'm done trusting you. Give me my card back."

Tony yells at EJ, "Samantha is never going to be yours. Not in this lifetime or any other!"

Sami is in her hospital bed. Lucas says, "I didn't give you my name just so you could sign your death warrant with it. Leave this alone, all right?"

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Arrogant Smart Ass

Phillip wants Shawn and Belle to move into the mansion. There would be, after all, a certain entertainment value to having them around. Belle thinks the situation would be a little weird. Shawn and Belle don't exactly feel warm and fuzzy about Victor. They giggle around; Belle hesitates and thinks they should talk to Shawn. Speak of the devil, Shawn walks in. Belle says they need to think about living arrangements. Shawn has been thinking about that too. He wants to move in together. Phillip asks about the possibility of them living in the mansion.

Sami is shocked Tony turned down her offer. EJ tells her Tony didn't even talk to Stefano about it. She says she made the first move and now the ball is in Tony's court. EJ tells her Tony is out to kill them both. Bo tells EJ it's time to go downtown. Lucas wants to tag along. Since the Salem cops are incompetent, they decide having an incompetent civilian in on the interrogation couldn't hurt. Lucas smooches Sami and leaves.

Marlena alerts John. He heads for the station. Marlena asks him if he thinks this is a good idea. John insists it is. John leaves. Hope comes up and they talk about their stubborn husbands.

Marlena goes over to the shell-shocked Sami and asks what EJ said. Sami tells her it doesn't matter. She wonders why the DiMeras wouldn't take her up on her offer. Marlena thinks it's textbook DiMera behavior. Sami is afraid they will come after her and her baby. Marlena says they will get protection for her. Sami wonders why the DiMeras are after the Bradys in the first place. She has an idea and runs out. Hope and Marlena stare at each other.

Shawn turns down the offer. He thinks he's been leaning on people too much lately. He wants a chance to bungle things on his own for a while. Phillip asks him to do what's best for Claire.

"I want to," says Shawn, "But we have to find her before we can get her a new set of parents who aren't bumbling idiots."

Phillip reminds him about little things like food, rent and expenses. He tells them Victor is in Europe on vacation. Belle and Shawn discuss their options. Shawn suggests getting a nice little apartment on their own, perhaps a fireproof one in case Willow comes to visit. He asks Phillip, "Why is it so important that we move in."

Phillip says, "I want to find Claire."

Shawn says, "I think it's more than that, Phillip."

Phillip tells him they need to work together to find Claire. Shawn flashes back to the sinking boat. He remembers the promise but says it didn't include breakfast, lunch and dinner. Belle makes a pitch for living at the mansion. Shawn says he can't shut down old feelings. Belle thinks they should move in and work on finding Claire. "And if we don't find her, asks Shawn.

Phillip asks, "What's the real reason you don't want to move in."

Sami went out to get the letter she and Lucas found. She tells Marlena and Hope about finding Maison Blanche, EJ showing up and finding the letter with the DiMera signature. She hands the letter to Hope. Hope looks at it and stares like she's seen a ghost.

Bo grills EJ. Bo thinks EJ knows more than he's telling him. Lucas sits there and chimes in whenever the interrogation calls for a stupid remark. EJ questions the protocol for having a civilian included in the interrogation. Bo finds a dictionary and looks up the word protocol, "I have a little surprise for you, EJ"

John steps in, "Hello, Elvis."

EJ turns and stares, "Helllooooo... Newman."

Phillip asks what's on Shawn's mind. The show isn't long enough to go into the intricacies of the composition of black holes, so Shawn just says the truth is if they move in with Phillip he will always have the upper hand. Belle reminds him this isn't a competition. Phillip says he's doing this because he's desperate.

"You'd have to be to want Belle under your roof again," says Shawn.

Phillip claims he's not doing this so they can owe him. If anything he owes them.

Hope thinks Stefano's father Santo scribbled the letter to Stefano on his deathbed. There was a woman who was the love of his life and he was heartbroken when the woman was taken from him. Hope thinks she sees the word "Brady" in the letter.

John asks how EJ has been. EJ just says it's nice to have John back. John talks about the boathouse. EJ thinks he has some problems with his memory. Bo smiles like the Cheshire Cat and says he has an eyewitness EJ can't make disappear like Lexie.

EJ tells them to arrest him if that's what they are there to do. Junior Cop Lucas stands up and starts barking orders. He's ready to cuff the perp right now. Bo and John ignore Lucas and John tells EJ, "You shot me, you bastard."

EJ tells John it pains him to think of what he has been through but until he regains his full mental capacity, that night will remain a mystery. Bo accuses EJ of being an arrogant smart ass. EJ decides that's better than being an arrogant dumb ass like Bo. He says he has more important things to do if they aren't going to charge him with anything.

The peanut gallery comes to life, "Yeah, you have to protect Myth-Ick from the SEC, right? Chuckle-chuckle-chuckle."

EJ says he was talking about Sami, "Your wife is in considerable danger."

Marlena Sami and Hope think "Brady" is in the letter. Sami thinks this letter could be the beginning of everything between the DiMeras and the Bradys. Hope calls the university foreign studies department.

Phillip says he was only thinking about himself when he left for Afghanistan. "Let's just not go there," says Belle."

"Right," says Shawn, "We're not even packed."

Phillip wants to make it up to them. He wants to put their differences aside. Belle asks for a minute alone with Shawn. Phillip hands Shawn the key to the front door and leaves.

Shawn and Belle argue about moving into the mansion. Belle thinks something else is going on. Shawn tells her Phillip is right. Shawn doesn't trust him. Belle thinks Phillip is making sense.

"And I'm not," asks Shawn.

"This isn't about you," says Belle, "It's about making sense." She insists Phillip has changed.

Shawn doesn't think people change overnight, "I just think Phillip has a different agenda. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Belle asks why he thinks that. Shawn thinks Phillip wants to get close to Belle. She mocks him and brings up Willow. Shawn tells her Willow will let him be a part of the baby's life. Belle spills the beans about Phillip going to bat for Shawn with Willow. Maybe now Shawn can see he's not such a bad guy after all.

EJ sits back down and tells them Tony is now heading the DiMera family. Stefano is on his deathbed and the only thing that can save him is stem cells. He agreed to share the stem cells with Tony, but told Tony he couldn't have the baby. Lucas protests and insists the child isn't EJ's. EJ tells them Sami and the baby are in danger.

Lucas blathers on. John tells him to go to the pub and keep Sami there. Lucas leaves and the room gets a lot quieter. Bo tells EJ once they squeeze the truth out of Lockhart they will arrest him for conspiracy and murder. EJ claims he will never make it to trial and if they do that, they will be signing Sami's death warrant.

Hope gets off the phone. Nancy Mangino will translate the letter for them. Sami grabs the letter and says she will take it over there. Marlena is so proud of her for putting her family first all the time. Sami heads for the university.

Outside she hunts for her keys and a mystery man bumps into her. Sami staggers and sits on a bench. She faints. They mystery man comes back, "Sorry, Blondie, we're going for a little ride."

Belle works on Shawn. She can't believe he is still suspicious of Phillip. Shawn remembers Willow telling him not to trust Phillip. He zones out. "Earth to Shawn," says Belle. No response. Try another planet.

Belle rambles on. She comes up with a compromise. They will move into the mansion for a couple weeks and then Shawn will get a job and they will get Claire back and then they will get their own place. And then they will win the lottery and live happily ever after. she begs him to do it for Claire.

Hope wonders why they have been at war with the DiMeras all these years. Shawn, Sr. brings out a fresh pie. He tells them to enjoy and starts to leave. Hope asks him to join them, "We could use a little help with family history."

Shawn Sr. says, "Ask me anything you want."

Hope asks, "Why are we at war with the DiMeras?"

OMB says, "Anything but that."

Bo asks if EJ thinks he would really let him walk. EJ says if they let him leave he will talk to Stefano and persuade him not to harm Sami or the child. "No deal," says Bo. EJ's phone rings.

Lucas comes back in and says he called Sami and she never picked up. He tried the pub and Hope told him Sami headed for the university. Bo thinks maybe he can catch up with her over there. Suddenly EJ bolts from the room. Lucas chases.

Shawn and Belle work things out and agree to move in with Phillip. Shawn leaves to pack. On the way out Belle tells him she loves him for this, "I won't forget this for all the Days Of Our Lives. We're gonna find her. I know it."

Hope says she didn't mean to upset Shawn Sr. He excuses himself. Hope and Marlena talk about how strange that was. Marlena tells Hope to be patient and when he is ready OMB will share it.

Sami huffs and puffs. She wakes up duct taped to the seat of a car, holding the steering wheel. She hyperventilates and loses consciousness. FF.


Stephanie asks, "What are you talking about? What happened?" Her boyfriend says, "We lost our investor. We're grounded." Chelsea looks on.

Bo asks, "What the hell did you do with my niece... Sami?" Tony gives him a confused look.

Mr. Hunk asks Chelsea, "Uh... I was just gonna ask... if you're seeing anyone."

Sami sits in the car and says, "Help me... help my baby." EJ stands outside and says, "I'm gonna get you out of there, OK? I'm gonna get you out of there." (Just for the record, Sami says, "Help my baby." The closed caption says, "Help our baby.")

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

From One Whore To Another

Sami and Lucas sit in the pub and argue about whether or not Sami should tell her dad what happened at the warehouse. Sami stands up for EJ, telling Lucas he didn't know what was gong on. Lucas finds it hard to believe. Sami thinks there is only one way to stop the DiMeras. She says she told EJ to go to them and tell them they want to make a deal. Lucas has a cow.

EJ meets Tony at a cloak-and-dagger spot. EJ asks if Stefano will accept Sami's offer.

Bo welcomes John back from his coma and tells him he looks like he just took a ten-minute power nap. They talk about how to get EJ. Bo dreams up a plan to bring EJ down to the station and have John walk in on him. John thinks it's worth a shot. He asks to stop at the Brady pub on the way home for chowdah.

Willow walks into her new place. Phillip joins her and asks if he can come in.

"How did you know how to find me," asks Willow.

"I did what I usually do," says Phillip, "I checked the men's room wall down at the bus station."

Shawn and Belle talk about Shawn's little bombshell. Belle thinks Willow must be lying. Shawn doesn't think she is that good of a liar. Belle asks, "What does this mean for you and me, Shawn. What does it mean?"

Shawn says nothing will change between them. They'll still be the same pair of irresponsible morons they always have been. Belle thinks Willow will make their lives miserable. Shawn tells her Willow doesn't want him around, "She doesn't think I'm a very good father. Can you imagine that?"

Claire sits on the beach on an island off Tinda Lao. She applies a little more sunscreen, sips her umbrella drink and thanks her lucky stars she got away from parents whose hobby was tossing her into the ocean.

Belle starts out being understanding but, hey, she's Belle. She takes us on another one of her trips over the edge of the cliff into meltdown land, "Our daughter is out there God-knows-where and now you tell me you might be the father of Willow's baby. THIS SUCKS! IT'S THE LAST THING WE NEED RIGHT NOW. I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND IT'S GOOD NEWS. SO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL?"


Tony says Stefano will not end the vendetta. EJ realizes Tony never talked to Stefano. Tony claims he has been busy. The thinks EJ doesn’t get it, "I'm back now little brother. I'm in charge." He has no intention of letting Stefano die and he swears he will get the stem cells. Sami will pay for her mistakes. EJ, too.

Lucas thinks Sami shouldn't be the one brokering the peace agreement. He tells her EJ is not her friend. Sami says this is bigger than them. It is about ending the feud once and for all.

The argument stops as John is wheeled into the pub. Sami is dumbfounded to see him. She can't believe it.

Phillip tells Willow Claire might have survived. In the meantime he's there to ask for a favor. He apologizes for being rough on her and asks her to take it easy on Shawn.

Bipolar Belle apologizes for whacking Shawn, "I really didn't mean to do that."

"I'll remember that when my ears stop ringing," says Shawn.

Belle makes excuses for her behavior. She's scared Willow and the baby will ruin their chances for finding Claire.

John struggles to talk as Sami hugs him. He says he would have woken up sooner if he knew it would be like this. He apologizes for missing the wedding, "I heard it was... uh... eventful."

Lucas tells him married life is good so far. He says he needs to talk to John and Bo. He tells them about Tony's threats to Sami.

Tony says he would erase Sami from the world in a heartbeat. EJ thinks Tony is jealous of his relationship with her. Tony tells him he defied orders and should be worried about himself. Stefano was upset when he heard EJ defied orders. EJ no longer has his protection. "The target is on you now, along with your dear Samantha."

Shawn says he won't let Willow get in the way of finding Claire. Belle says they will do what needs to be done together. She will accept Willow's baby. "You're amazing," says Shawn, "Nutty as a fruitcake, but amazing." Belle encourages him to go to Willow and tell her he will be there to support the kid.

Willow can't believe what Phillip is telling her. Phillip explains they have put the past behind them.

"Phillip," says Willow, "Your life is turning into a chick flick. You know what I'm gonna call it? 'Two Buddies In Love With The Same Girl.' You want Belle, don't you? That's what this is all about."

Marlena asks Sami if all this is true. Sami says Lucas is overreacting. She goes on to tell them about the warehouse. Lucas tells him Celeste's voodoo ritual told them the baby is EJ's. Marlena thinks Sami should tell Roman. Sami tells them about the deal. Bo thinks they could use this to trap EJ. He lays out the plan. John tells Sami EJ doesn't know he can't remember what happened, "He'll bend and hopefully break."

"He'll be put away for all the Days Of Our Lives," says Bo.

Sami thinks this is a bad idea. It will ruin the deal. She asks them to let her handle it. They all refuse. Hope backs her up. Sami's phone rings and she runs out. EJ tells her he needs to see her, "It's a matter of life and death."

Shawn says he will try to make peace with Willow. He's glad Belle sees things this way. Belle reminds him she didn't see things his way at first. "You mean the slap," asks Shawn, "Someday I'll peeve you and you can just put it in the bank. You can use it then."

"Oh, I wouldn't think of it," says Belle, "There are plenty more where that came from."

Shawn promises they will find Claire. Belle thinks it won't be easy. Shawn says he has no money. Belle tells him they can borrow it. Shawn, of course won't hear of it. Belle vows they will be the family they have always wanted to be.

Phillip claims he doesn't want to hook up with Belle again. Willow doesn't believe him. He tells Willow if she agrees all they have to discuss is her price. "It's a freebie," says Willow, "Call it a professional courtesy... from one whore to another."

Phillip walks in on Shawn and Belle. Shawn leaves on his little errand to talk to Willow. Phillip tells Belle he thinks things may work out with Willow after all, "Let's just say I made Willow an offer she won't refuse."

Sami tells the group it's EJ on the phone. They want her to lure EJ to the pub. Sami argues. Lucas plays the trump card, "Do it for our baby." Sami gets back on the phone and tells EJ to meet her at the Brady pub. EJ says he is on his way and hangs up.

Sami tells them if they trap EJ there he will think she set him up again. Hope agrees. Sami begs them to let her do it her way.

"This is police business," says Bo, "Let the police handle it."

"Really," says Sami, "The way you've been handling it so far?"

Shawn arrives at Willow's place.

"How did you know how to find me," asks Willow.

"I did what I usually do," says Shawn, "I checked the men's room wall down at the bus station."
Shawn apologizes for the way he treated her and for not believing her about the baby.

Sami says she didn't mean that the way it sounded, even though the truth hurts. John tells Sami she's out. She's in enough danger already. Hope steps in and backs up Sami. Lucas tells Sami to back off.

Marlena asks, "John, are you sure you're up to this?"

"A few painkillers might help," says John.

EJ enters and asks for a word in private with Sami. Bo tells him he needs to ask a few questions down at the station.

Shawn doesn't want to put a kid in the middle of things. He wants to be a father to their baby – not just a father, but also a dad. Inside Willow, the little fetus shivers.

Phillip says he told Willow to give Shawn a break. Belle thanks him. Phillip would rather have Shawn not know about this. It's a guy thing. He says he has hired a private eye to find Claire.

Willow wants what's best for her kid. She agrees to let Shawn share parental responsibilities. She tells Shawn it's a boy. Willow swears she did not set fire to his parent's house. Shawn stops her, but says he is there for her. If she needs anything, Willow will let him know. She advises him not to trust Phillip, "He's not your friend."

Belle has missed Phillip's friendship. Phillip offers to have her and Shawn live at the mansion, "What do you think?"

Bo tells EJ they have a lot to talk about, "You can either come with me or I will get a... uh..."

"It's a warrant, Bo," says Hope, "It's called a warrant."

EJ agrees. First, he wants a word with Sami. Lucas steps in. He doesn't want EJ talking to Sami. Sami reminds him they are married now, grinds him into the floor with her heel and walks out with EJ.

Outside, Sami tells him the offer is still open. EJ says Tony said no, and they are both in great danger.


Shawn Sr. says, "Ask me anything you want." Hope asks, "Why are we at war with the DiMeras?" Shawn says, "Anything but that."

Shawn asks, "Why is it so important that we move in." Phillip says, "I want to find Claire." Shawn says, "I think it's more than that, Phillip."

Bo tells EJ, "I have a little surprise for you." They wheel John in, "Hello, EJ."

Sami screams, "Help me somebody!"

Monday, May 28, 2007

Working Girls

Stephanie and Chelsea meet in the pub. Chelsea has Ciara. She gives Stephanie the news that John is out of his coma. They talk about Patch and Kayla and plans for the summer. Stephanie has a scheme to make money, "We are going to be working girls this summer."

Nick meets Willow at the prospective apartment and says they need to talk. He tells her the deal is off. No more money, no more apartment.

Marlena doesn't want John overdoing things on his first day back from the near-dead. John overdoes things. Roman meets them and welcomes him back to the land of the living, "Hey, John, I'll bet a tall, cold one would go pretty good right now."

"Thanks, Roman," says John, "But Marlena is tall and cold enough for me."

Roman asks if he can identify EJ as the SOB who shot him.

Belle rambles on to Shawn about John coming to her in her dream and telling her Claire is alive. Shawn wants to believe that but says they have to deal with the reality that Claire is gone. Phillip walks up, "You don't know that for sure."

Shawn thinks it's wrong giving Belle false hope. Phillip wants to know why Shawn thinks it's false hope. "Common sense," says Shawn.

"Common what," asks Belle, "I will keep looking until I find her." Belle vows to launch her own rescue team. She says she heard a child crying as the rescue team pulled up.

Stephanie isn't going back to Dayton for the summer. It's hard to bail out on her mom with her dad going Twilight Zone Psycho on her. She's going to stick around to be with Kayla when Patch dumps her again. She wants to change the subject. She tells the brat her money problems are over, "You and I are going to fly the friendly skies... Coffee, tea and moi. We are going to be flight attendants."

Nick tells Willow he had second thoughts. Willow thinks Chelsea planted them. She rants, "You know what, Fallon, it's not that easy to get rid of me."

Marlena tells Roman John doesn't remember what happened that night at the boathouse. Roman vows to get EJ anyway. He leaves, "I'll talk atcha later, pard." Marlena translates that into English for John.

Bo and Roman meet up. Roman has a forensics report from Tinda Lao, and gives him what may be Claire's life jacket. Roman shows Bo the report, "I think you'd better go tell the kids."

Willow and Nick argue. Nick swears he isn't signing for the apartment because he decided not to do it. It has nothing to do with Chelsea. He says he is sorry for her. She says he is a liar.

Chelsea brings up the little technicality that they are not trained to be flight attendants. Hey, Stephanie isn't going to let little things like that bother her. Besides this is a special deal. It's one plane, one destination, once a week. All they have to do is look hot. It's her bad-boy boyfriend Jeremy's gig. He has set up a flight to Vegas for high rollers, "We will be the hot chicks who serve them drinks and wag out butts for tips. In return, we get comped one night a week in sin-city, plus an outstanding paycheck and all the tips we can stuff into our wonder bras. What do you think?"

"I don't know," says Chelsea, "Does that apply to wonder training bras, too? "

Bo interrupts Phillip, Belle and Shawn. He says he needs to talk to Shawn and Belle, "About Claire... I have some information from Tinda Lao, but I need to know that Phillip can be trusted." Phillip insists he can be trusted. Bo tells him so far, his decisions about Claire haven't been too family-friendly. Shawn stands up for Phillip and says they have worked through all that. He shows them the life vest and says Roman gave it to him. He asks if it is Claire's.

Willow accuses Nick of lying. She thinks he's doing this because he stole the hairbrush. She says she's going to call her public defender and tell him about the possibility of Nick stealing the brush. She goes through all the scenarios that will happen and how bad things will turn out for him. She wonders how he and Chelsea would be if they investigated and found out he stole it, "Are you a gambling man?"

Stephanie makes the pitch for the job. Rich guys would be salivating over them. Chelsea says she already has a guy. Stephanie says she can't be with Nick for the rest of her life. Stephanie says she has been around more than Chelsea and knows she will want more than Nick. Chelsea thinks the scheme sounds insane. "So let's be insane," says Stephanie, "Besides, if you live in Salem, it's required."

The doctor examines John. John struggles and grunts as he attempts to move.

Nick says Willow is more ruthless than he ever imagined. He tells her she doesn't have to stoop this low. Mrs. Granger the realtor joins them and asks how he likes the place. "He wants it," says Willow.

Stephanie wants to know if Chelsea and Nick have hooked up. Chelsea tells her they haven't had the opportunity. Stephanie says she should live it up while she is waiting for the earth to move with Nick. Chelsea turns down her offer.

Shawn says it is Claire's vest. He knows it was on good and tight. Belle freaks. Bo says the tracking device was rigged. Shawn inspects the vest and finds somebody cut it off of Claire.

They try to get John to talk. He struggles. Marlena knows how to get his attention, "Do you want to have naughty sex?"

"That depends," says John, "With whom?"

Just the thought of it sends the doctor running from the room. Marlena gives John a look, "I'll be back, baby." After she leaves, John stares at the empty room. Alas, there is no escape.

Hope saves the day by coming in. She says it's good to have John back and thinks his return calls for a huge party at the pub.

Nick gives Mrs. Granger the signed lease and the check for the first month's rent. Mrs. Granger leaves. Willow asks for furniture. Nick says there is a $500 limit. She thanks him. He says, "You know, Willow, if you stopped acting like a whore maybe people would stop treating you like one."

Shawn wonders if someone cut Claire's live vest deliberately. That would mean Claire is alive.

Stephanie begs the brat to go along with her scheme. Nick walks in and Chelsea wants to know how it went with Willow. Nick tells her it wasn't his finest moment.

Belle wonders why someone would have picked Claire up and not called the coast guard. Bo says there were civilians involved in the search and maybe they got separated from the search party. The coast guard has re-listed Claire as missing.

Claire sits on a beach in the South Pacific, sips her pina colada and thinks, "I sure hope they don't find that life vest I cut off and threw back into the ocean."

Bo leaves. Belle says she just knows Claire is alive. Shawn is sorry he doubted her. Outside, Phillip tells Bo how sorry he is for all the things he has done. Bo is skeptical. Phillip says if they get Claire back her home will be with Shawn and Belle. Bo wants to know if he has talked to Victor about that. If he isn't involved in Phillip's little peace train, it will crash.

The doctor tells Marlena John is in remarkable condition but he is concerned about residual effects. Marlena thinks the important thing is to get him home.

Hope tells John he has been an amazing friend. Marlena comes back in. John asks, "The doctor... what did he say?" Marlena says, "He says he is sick of you lounging around this hospital and he wants you out of here.

Stephanie realizes when she isn't wanted because it happens to her so much. She leaves. Nick tells Chelsea Willow blackmailed him to get him to sign the lease. Chelsea says she isn't disappointed in him. They will figure something out. She leaves Ciara with Nick just for a minute.

Chelsea catches up with Stephanie and agrees to do it. Stephanie wonders what changed her mind and then figures it was Nick. Chelsea makes a weak excuse.

Phillip says Victor will respect his wishes. Bo tells him, "You'd better not be screwing with me, kid, 'cause I'm screwed up enough already."

Belle fantasizes about having Claire back. Shawn tells her there is something she needs to know. Belle says whatever it is they can work it out, because that is what they are all about. He tells her Willow is pregnant and he is the father. So much for working it out.

John is ready to leave the hospital now. Hope leaves to find Bo. Marlena tells John while he was gone the place was so empty without him, so she moved out of the penthouse. She hopes that is OK with him. He says it is OK as long as she saved the bed.

Bo and Hope meet up. She tells him about John. John walks up to them, "So have the cops found my kidney?"

"The Salem cops," asks Bo, "They couldn't find their butt with both hands." Giggles all around.


Belle asks, "What does this mean, Shawn? What does this mean for you and me?"

Willow asks, "You want Belle, don't you? That's what this is all about."

Tony tells EJ, "This is on your back now. Along with your dear Samantha."

Friday, May 25, 2007

I'm Slimy, But Honest About Being Slimy

Today's episode is an abbreviated version done with only the audio of the program available.

EJ swears he won't let Tony harm his child. Tony says he planted his seed to save Stefano's life. EJ threatens Tony and Tony stands up to him. Sami simpers and whimpers.

Belle swears John grabbed her hand. Marlena is skeptical. Marlena steps in and tries to get through. John's hand has a death grip on Belle, so Marlena goes to get the doctor.

Shawn insists the baby can't be his. Willow shows him a DNA test she had in jail. They argue. Willow says Shawn is the last father she would ever want for her baby. She was hoping for a genius.

Shawn looks over the DNA results and says Willow can't blame him for thinking she is a liar. Hope has been listening in and steps into the conversation. She gets on Willow about the arson and Willow claims it wasn't her. She also says she can take care of her baby just fine without Hope. Hope wants to know what kind of mother never puts her child's needs above her own.

Tony tells EJ he takes over when Stefano isn't able to run things. EJ says Stefano would never want him to kill his own child. Tony threatens EJ's life if he doesn't cooperate. EJ says, "The only way you're ever gonna stop me from leaving here is cold-blooded murder."

Tony and EJ argue while Sami and Stefano's lives hang in the balance. Somehow, EJ pulls a switcheroo and escapes with Sami.

Willow says she will be the kind of mother who doesn't let her child play in the street so it stays alive. Shawn calls her an angry pathetic loser. "Well at least this loser won't let her baby drown," says Willow.

Hope says, "Watch what comes out of your mouth."

Willow asks, "What're you gonna do, grandma?"

Hope says, "I'll make it my business that you never get to see your child."

Belle begs John to come back as Marlena comes in with the doctor. Unfortunately John has stopped squeezing her hand and the doctor is skeptical. They ask Belle to talk to him. Belle babbles. John agrees to come back if she'll just shut up. John's heartbeat changes and the doctor says he is responding to the sound of Belle's voice.

Sami wonders why Tony didn't shoot them on the way out. EJ thinks he wanted to, but he wouldn't do it without Stefano's permission. EJ admits he knew that all along. EJ wants a little gratitude from Sami. She says she is only in this mess because of him. Sami asks about Lexie. She wants to know whose idea that was. EJ dodges the question and says he adores Sami. The feeling isn't mutual.

Hope and Shawn work on Willow. Shawn says if the baby is his he wants to do the right thing. Willow says the right thing is staying away from him. She has already found someone else to take care of her. Hope wants to know what she wants. Willow wants Hope and Bo to make sure she never goes to jail again.

The doctor doesn’t know what to think. He tells John to move his finger if he can hear him. John responds. Joy abounds. They beg him to open his eyes. He opens his eyes and sees Marlena and Belle and decides the coma is better.

EJ says as the mother of Stefano's grandchild Sami will never be harmed. Sami wants to know what about the rest of her family. She asks why Stefano hates the Brady family so much. EJ says with Stefano you know your place and don't ask any questions. Sami notes he didn't keep his place today. He has made himself the black sheep of his family, just like Sami is the black sheep of hers. Sami urges him to go all the way with that. Now is the time for him to change. She wants him to go to Stefano and tell him how he feels about the baby. She wants him to convince Stefano to declare a truce.

Hope says it isn't that easy. She accuses Willow of using the baby to blackmail her. If they cooperate Willow will let Shawn be a part of the baby's life, as long as he promises to keep it away from boats and oceans.

Marlena and the doctor beg John to come out of the coma. Marlena asks him to remember the dream. She says she is in the light, "Find the . John, and then move your finger." John moves his finger. Marlena tells him to come to the light. John responds.

EJ thinks Sami must be joking. Sami insists she is not. She thinks it's worth a try. EJ thinks Stefano would want to know what benefit a truce would be to him. "Stem cells," says Sami. She would let him take the stem cells in a real hospital with a real doctor, which means Lexie won't be coming back soon. She asks EJ if he has the courage to ask.

John is back. The doctor lays out a plan for getting his speech back. Marlena and Belle have so much to tell him. Belle asks him about her dream. She begs him to remember. John drifts off. Belle begs him not to go until he remembers.

Shawn can't believe Willow would use a baby to bargain his way out of jail. Willow argues and insists Chelsea set the fire. Hope tells her this is her last chance. They will use their influence, but it will be against Willow. She is in for a good fight. Willow tells the fetus to say goodbye to her daddy. She leaves. Shawn says, "We're gonna hit her with everything we've got. The Brady's are going to war."

EJ can't believe Sami would save Stefano's life. Sami says she isn't doing this to save Stefano. Ever since she can remember Sami has been the black sheep and she proved it again at the wedding when everyone saw the photo. She thinks if Stefano dies Tony will take it out on the Brady's. She asks EJ to talk to Stefano. EJ wonders how talking to his father will help him. He makes a pass at her. Sami resists.

Hope tells Shawn she and Bo have already filed for custody. Shawn doesn't know if they can go through it again. There has to be another way. Hope suggests he could take Willow up on her offer, but right now he has other things to focus on. Shawn wonders how he will ever tell Belle Claire is dead, "How can I say that to her and then follow it up with, but don't worry, there is another on the way and Willow is the mother?"

Marlena, Belle, more begging. Belle wants to know if John remembers the dream. They ask him if Claire is alive. John gives them a sign. Oh, the joy!

EJ claims he was just teasing Sami. He apologizes. Sami tells him sorry is not enough. It never will be. EJ tells her nobody has ever made him feel the way she does. Sami reminds him she is married. EJ says that is Lucas' problem and he will never give up. Sami says there is a possibility they could be friends some day if he talks to his father. But 'friends' is all it ever would be. That's all EJ has ever wanted. She calls him a slime. "OK," says EJ, "I'm slimy, but I'm honest about being slimy." Title.

EJ agrees to Sami's terms, but says she could never ask him to stop loving her. It's like breathing to him. "You do it," says Sami, "You broker a cease fire between the DiMera's and the Brady's..."


"Just do it, EJ."

Hope tells Shawn he needs to be honest and up front with Belle. He has to do it right away.

Marlena wants Belle to go. She will get her tomorrow and the three of them will have breakfast together. The doctor talks about John being released. Belle needs to get her rest. Belle tells John she loves him and she has been praying for this miracle. She tells him she will see him tomorrow. Belle leaves. Marlena tells John he needs rest, too. John moans. Marlena asks what he wants. She hands him a paper and pencil. John writes. Marlena giggles. Smooching ensues.


John asks, "The doctor... what did he say?" Marlena says, "He says he is sick of you lounging around this hospital and he wants you out of here.

Willow says, "You know what, Fallon, it's not that easy to get rid of me."

Bo says, "About Claire... I have some information from Tinda Lao, but I need to know that Phillip can be trusted."

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Leaving My Panties Behind Wherever I Go

Today's episode is an abbreviated verson done with only the audio of the program available.

Chelsea and Nick dance around doing the nasty. Nick can't do it. The presence of Maggie looms. Chelsea thinks Maggie looks at her like the Slut of Salem, "Leaving my panties behind wherever I go." If only Nick had a place of his own. Chelsea discovers the newspaper and thinks Nick already has a place in mind.

Belle is certain they will find Claire. Shawn thinks they won't.

EJ wants Tony's guarantee he won't harm Sami or the child. Tony's only concern is Stefano. EJ tries to comfort Sami as she cries in captivity. He tells her Stefano needs stem cells.

Nick hems and haws around about the living arrangement.

Sami is a basket case in captivity. She's not letting them do this. She insists they don't know who is the father. EJ tells her about Celeste and her ritual.

Marlena blathers to John about how strong he is, even in a coma. She needs him awake now more than ever.

Shawn tells Belle he had a dream about Claire too, but then he woke up. He tries to drag Belle back to reality but that's a rougher trip than trying to survive the storm in the sea. She berates Shawn for talking about reason and logic when she is talking about miracles.

Marlena knows John can hear her. Even near death it's an impossibility to shut her out. a doctor tells her about a new technology that might help John, but Marlena refuses to send him out of state.

Sami struggles, but EJ assures her the child will not be harmed. Tony tells her he, not Stefano, is calling the shots.

Nick doesn't want to rush into things. Chelsea discovers Willow hanging around. She says she came back for the newspaper. Nick kicks her out and swears he has no romantic interest in her. Chelsea thinks they slept together. Nick denies it. Chelsea wants to know if that is true why he was helping her in the first place.

Shawn and Belle go over the same old ground. Belle accuses him of thinking both her and Marlena are crazy.

Marlena insists she isn't giving up on John. The doctor asks how long she is going to keep holding out hope.

Sami freaks when she sees Tony. He's supposed to be in prison. She says he's as sick and depraved as ever. Tony takes that as a compliment. Sami vows to keep her baby from Tony's clutches.

Nick thinks the authorities will put two and two together about him stealing the brush. If he doesn't help Willow, she will sink them both. Chelsea isn't OK with his plan.

Shawn doesn't think Belle is crazy. Dumb as a rock, yes, crazy, no. It's just that she has been through so much. Belle tells him if he gives up on Claire he is on his own. She goes to see John because someone in a coma thinks more clearly than Belle.

Tony tells Sami time has run out. He orders her into surgery. EJ intervenes but Sami calls him a fraud and a coward. She begs EJ for help as they drag her off.

Marlena tells John she has to get back to Belle, but Belle comes in to see John.

Shawn bumps into Willow. She says she thought he might like to know how his baby is doing.

Chelsea wants Nick to tell Willow to get lost. He tells her he believes she didn't set the fire at Bo and Hope's. She tells him she wants him to stay away from Willow. No more helping her. Then next thing she'll be asking him to help with the bills and pay for her apartment. Nick comes clean. He tells Chelsea signed a lease for Willow and paid for the apartment. He's doing it for them. If he does this willow will leave them alone. Chelsea tells him to grow a pair and either tell Willow to take a hike or she's gone. She doesn't want him hanging around with a gold digging whore.

Shawn tells Willow to stop it. All she cares about is herself. Willow denies it and says he should be sensitive about his unborn baby.

Belle rambles on to John. She wants a sign. Marlena tells her he can't do that.

Sami has a meltdown. EJ tells Tony to get his hands off of her.

Shawn claims Willow's baby is not his. Willow says she can prove it and has found someone else to take care of her. She won't let him near the kid.

Chelsea lays down the law. Nick says he gave Willow his word. Chelsea tells him to stand up to her – to do it for them.

Belle knows she can get through to John. Marlena suggests they try again tomorrow. As Marlena tries to take her away, John won't let go of Belle's hand.

Tony tells EJ they aren't just taking blood, they are also taking the fetus. EJ says they will have to kill him first. Tony chuckles.


Hope says, "Watch what comes out of your mouth." Willow asks, "What're you gonna do, grandma?" Hope says, "I'll make it my business that you never get to see your child."

EJ says, "The only way you're ever gonna stop me from leaving here is cold-blooded murder."

Belle and Marlena beg John to come out of his coma.

Shawn says, "They're gonna hit her with everything they've got. The Brady's are going to war."

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Your Ineptitude Boggles The Mind

Notice: The Prevuze team will be traveling for the next several days. We have done this many times before and have successfully published Prevuze at the same time. This time, however, we will be out of broadband range for much of the time. We're going to do our best to get it out. We have arranged for a backup author, if necessary, but things will still be slow. In any event, we apologize for any inconvenience and hope you will bear with us.

Things should be back to normal by about next Wednesday, if not sooner.

It is, after all, a holiday, and we hope you have a good one.

EJ enters Stefano's death chamber and meets the great Tony DiMera. Tony has been released from jail and is watching over the ailing Stefano. He lectures EJ. He reminds him their father is fighting for his life and EJ has come there without Sami and the little demon DiMera seed she is carrying. That could be a deadly mistake.

Lucas tries to feel the baby kicking. The baby doesn't cooperate. Lucas walks away, but suddenly Sami feels it. Lucas rushes back over.

Hope and Marlena are together in the pub. Hope thinks this is like a horrible dream – almost as bad as watching DOOL. She wonders why God keeps taking her children. Marlena tells her she has to stay strong. Victor comes in. Hope asks what the hell he is doing there. He tells them he knows Phillip is returning today and probably would go straight to a bar. Hope tells him he is not welcome and he should leave. She blames Victor for what has happened to Claire. If it weren't for the custody suit she would still be alive. If it weren't for the fact she has idiots for parents she'd be home asleep in her crib, too.

Phillip and Bo walk in. Phillip has gone whiney. He says he tried to save Claire but couldn't. Bo updates Hope on Belle's condition.

Shawn sits beside Belle in the hospital. He's turned whiney too. If he had listened to her, Claire would still be alive. Belle dreams. She finds herself in bed calling for Claire. Strange lights go on and off. The shadow of a mystery man appears. Belle cries, "Where is Claire? What have you done with my baby?"

Marlena says she has to get to the hospital. Hope decides she will drive her. Victor announces he has hired his own search team. If Claire is out there, they will find her. Phillip is skeptical. Bo thinks if she survived they would have picked her up by now. Phillip stops the arguing, "She's gone. Claire is dead. Can we just let her rest in peace?"

Shawn rambles on. He wishes he could take the pain away, but Claire is in heaven. No matter where she is, if she's ditched Shawn and Belle, she's definitely in heaven.

Belle tells the shadow she wants to see her daughter. She blathers, "God should have taken me instead."

"Whad'ya think I'm nuts," asks God.

Who'da guessed it. The shadow is John. Belle falls into his arms. John has come to tell her Claire is alive. John knows because he has hovered between life and death and has seen everyone who has passed to the other side. He hasn't seen Claire, so she must be alive. Sorry, John, there's a flaw in your logic. Claire was headed for heaven. She wouldn't have crossed your path. John says, "She's alive, baby. The rest is up to you." He starts to go.

Belle begs him not to leave. John turns, "I'll always be here for you, pumpkin."

Belle wakes and has some kind of fit. Shawn goes for a nurse.

Phillip tells Victor all the money in the world will not bring Claire back. He thinks he cut himself out of Claire's life when he reenlisted, "It was my job to keep her safe. And now, my little girl is gone."

Claire relaxes on the beach of her deserted island and thinks, "I'm sure glad I thought to bring this book and iPod."

Sami and Lucas enjoy the moment. Sami knows soon she will be up to her neck in diapers. She worries about who the baby's father is. Lucas tries to think positive. Sami wonders what she has done to deserve him. "It's hard to say," says Lucas, "But you have to admit, you've done some pretty bad things." Lucas remains positive. He hugs her. Sami scowls.

Tony says he had a compassionate judge and got out of jail early. EJ wonders how much that cost him. Tony says Stefano is in desperate need of stem cells. He wonders where Sami's baby is. Tony stops EJ from going in to see Stefano and tells him if he hopes to speak to Stefano again he will do exactly as he is told, "You bring me Samantha Roberts now!"

EJ screams back, "Wait your turn!"

Lucas says if he gets a new job he gets a new boss. Anyone would be better than EJ. Sami says she has money she has been saving. Lucas gets macho. A man likes to provide for his family. Sami says she has everything she wants. She has him. Mr. positive goes negative. If EJ escapes he will come after them. Sami says things will be fine. She vows never to be EJ's victim again.

Tony refuses to let EJ see Stefano. He thinks EJ is an embarrassment to the DiMera name. They argue about who has accomplished the most for the DiMeras. Tony sneers, "Your ineptitude boggles the mind."

EJ says there is more to this than Stefano. His child is also involved. Tony is shocked that EJ is putting the little bastard ahead of their father. If EJ doesn’t bring him the stem cells there will be hell to pay.

Phillip thinks they have to accept the fact that Claire isn't coming back. Victor insists they will find her. Phillip softens. He knows this is hard for Victor too.

Belle tosses and turns. Shawn tries to comfort her. Marlena and Hope come in. John watches and drools as Amy the nurse administers drugs. Amy leaves.

Marlena thanks Shawn for taking care of Belle. Marlena sits beside Belle. She says Claire is at peace, "She's with the angels now."

Belle looks at Marlena, "You don't understand. Claire's alive. She's alive." Belle smiles. The drugs have kicked in.

Belle insists it's true. Claire is alive. She swears she isn't in denial. Marlena asks Shawn and Hope to leave. Belle says, "Dad told me Claire is alive."

Shawn asks Hope what to do. "Be there for her," says Hope, "Listen to her."

"That's a lot to ask," says Shawn.

Hope hugs Shawn and discovers his wound. Shawn tells her what happened. Hope wants him to see a doctor, and swears vile things will happen to Bo for not telling her. Shawn shays he has more important things to worry about.

Phillip says on the island Shawn, Belle and Claire were like a real family, "Or as close to reality as anything gets on this show." Tragedy brings people closer, so they put aside their differences. He hopes Victor will support him on this. Victor tells him he's making a big mistake. Claire might still be alive. Phillip should beware of fraternizing with the enemy. Victor won't rest until Claire takes her proper place in the Kiriakis family.

Lucas says the hardest thing he ever had to do was stop himself from killing EJ with his bare hands. Sometimes Sami wishes she had done it. Lucas doesn't think she is capable of something like that. Sami didn't want her baby's life to start off like that. She swears she won't ever let anything happen to the kid. Translation: the kid is doomed.

They go back over well-trodden ground. Sami says, "I'm happy with who I am... and I'm happy with you and our kids..."

Lucas interrupts, "Our kids? We still only have one, you know."

Sami says, "No, we have you and Will – two juveniles.
and I'm not gonna let anybody take that away from me."

EJ doesn't like Tony's threats. Tony tells him if Stefano dies, so does he. He gives EJ one hour to bring Samantha to him, "You do not want to disappoint me ever again." Tony huffs off. EJ stares and sighs.

Lucas and Sami smooch. EJ stalks out in the hall. He holds an envelope and stares at it.

EJ knocks. Sami goes to get it. She opens the door and sees the envelope, but no one is there. As she bends down – pain. The last time there was a normal pregnancy on DOOL was when Alice was born. It's a copy of "The Knot" and a note from Carley wanting to do a follow up article. She wants Sami to meet her at Chez Rouge. They wonder why Carley didn't just call. Sami thinks that's weird, but has to go since Carley wants her right away. Lucas tells her to hurry back.

Shawn tells Hope before this happened he had this crazy idea they would be a real family. They had worked things out. Everything was good and then they lost Claire. He's afraid he's going to lose Belle too. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Belle tells Marlena John came to her. She tells her what John said. Marlena believes her and tells her John has come to her in dreams, too. Belle is euphoric.

Hope insists Shawn and Belle will get through this. Shawn reminds her Claire is what brought them together. Shawn says Belle has a crazy idea they will find Claire. Bo rushes in. Hope slaps him around for not telling her about the gunshot wound. They urge Shawn to get medical attention. Shawn says he isn't going anywhere.

Marlena thinks it's a possibility that Claire is still alive. She tells Belle about finding the coin in John's hand after their phone conversation. Belle thinks that was a miracle. Hope, Bo and Shawn come in. Belle says they need to get the word out that Claire is still alive. She tells them about the dream. Everyone looks dumbfounded. Belle asks, "You believe me, don't you?"

Hope, Bo and Marlena leave. Belle tells Shawn she knows her story sounds weird, but John has visited Marlena, too.

Outside, Hope asks why Marlena is encouraging Belle about the dream. Marlena says, "Belle isn't the only person who has had a visit from John in her dreams. John has come to me also."

Ebenezer Scrooge comes up and says, "He's visited me, too. The ghost of Christmas future wasn't Marley."

Hope thinks Marlena needs a psychiatrist. Marlena thinks they should talk later when Hope might be more accepting of her cockamamie story. She leaves. Hope asks Bo what he thinks about Marlena's story. Bo says Marlena's dreams have been on the money in the past. Marlena comes back and says she's going to go see John.

Lucas works on thank you notes as the doorbell rings. It's Celeste. Lucas tells her Sami is gone. Celeste says EJ knows Sami's baby belongs to him. Lucas says that's ridiculous. Celeste tells him their other ways to tell these things than amnio, "The baby was conceived to save Stefano's life."

Sami walks up to her car and gets in. EJ pops up and sticks a handkerchief over her mouth, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I truly am." FF unconscious Sami.


Willow tells Shawn, "I heard you were back in town. I thought you might like to know how your baby is doing."

Chelsea tees off on Nick, "You either tell Willow to take a hike, or you can say goodbye to me."

EJ tells Tony, "You will have to kill me before you can get a hand on Samantha or my child. Are you clear?" Pan to Sami sitting in a chair shaking as Tony chuckles.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Happy Hypo

Kayla arranges pictures from the days of their lives on the hotel room wall. It's their entire family tree. She shows Steve a picture from long, long ago and far, far away of a young Steve and Kayla. Patch doesn't know what to think. He wonders what she wants him to say. Kayla tells him there is a method to her madness.

"Oh good," says Patch, "So now we're both mad."

Kayla looks at the collage of pictures on the wall, "What do you think? Every face is a memory."

"Of what, I have no idea," says Patch.

Kayla thinks the Beatles were right. All you need is love. Patch asks if they said anything bout tough love.

"Don't kid yourself," says Kayla, "Love is tough."

"How tough?"

"It depends on how well my patient cooperates."

Hope and the brat are at the pub. Hope was hoping Bo would have called by now. Chelsea has good news. Nick is getting his own place to make things perfect for their first time. Maggie senses gossip and walks into the pub. She asks to talk to Hope alone. The brat leaves with Doodlebug.

The gossip factory goes into high gear. She didn't want to embarrass the brat, but Hope needs to know something. Maggie takes out her portable megaphone and says, "I found a pair of Chelsea's panties under Nick's bed."

Nick reads the note from Maggie. Willow knocks at the window. She climbs in and asks where the warden is. Nick tells her Maggie is out. Willow says she left something. Nick tells her Maggie found them and jumped to conclusions, "If somebody thinks I'm having sex, I'd like it to be true."

Willow says she can help with that. She moves in on him, but Nick backs her off. Willow twirls her panties and says, "Evidence proves you are guilty even though you are innocent. I have another problem. I am innocent, and everybody thinks I am guilty because there is no evidence to prove otherwise."

Gabby is using an earpiece and a microphone to talk into her radio. She gets off and tells Bo they didn't find any survivors. Oh, the despair! Then, she turns back to the radio and gets another message. She tells Bo they found them, "They're alive!" Oh, the joy!

Maggie wonders if this is the most embarrassing conversation she and Hope have ever had. If it isn't, Maggie the Mouth will be very disappointed. Hope wonders if the panties might belong to someone else. Maggie thinks the only girl in Nick's life is Chelsea. She leans in and says, "If they are having sex, ask her to respect my home. But either way, let me know so I can spread it around."

"If they are," says Hope, "she is a better liar than I thought possible."

Nick wants Willow to leave. She tells him the only place she can go is back to the park bench she slept on last night. As she walks past his desk, she finds the paper open to the real estate section. She figures he's looking for his own place, "Great! You've got two roofs over your head, and I have none." Nick asks just what it is that Willow wants. Willow wants the brush. Nick wants to give her the brush off. She says she really wants a job but doesn't know what to put on her resume, "Accused arsonist... Hooker..." Nick is sure she will figure something out.

"Until my trial! And then what?"

"And then you'll be in jail, and you'll have a roof over your head."


Nick apologizes. Willow says, "All you care about is Chelsea. Have a great time in your new place." She starts to leave. He stops her and says maybe they can figure something out. He promises to look into things for her.

Gabby tells Bo the chopper spotted the kiddie corps. She calls in for more info and tells Bo everybody is fine. They will radio in when everyone is in the chopper. Gabby goes to make coffee.

Speaking of which, paranoid Patch stares into his cup and asks Kayla what's in his coffee. "Coffee," says Kayla. She pulls out a syringe. He wants to know what that is.

"Medicine," says Kayla, "A relaxant. A John Black Cocktail."

Patch turns away, "We don't need the happy hypo."

"No," says Kayla, "We don't, but you do." She spikes him.

"OOWWWWWW! You play dirty."

"When it comes to us, you bet I do," says Kayla.

Maggie takes off as Chelsea comes back into the pub. Chelsea senses something and asks what that was about, "What did I do now?"

Hope says, "You could have been up front with me, Chelsea, and told me the truth."

Chelsea asks, "Told you the truth about what?"

Hope says, "You and Nick. That you were intimate with one another."

Willow says she still has some pride. She spills her bag on the way out the window. She tells Nick it's everything she owns. Nick stops her, "The place in the paper is in a nice neighborhood. I think you should take it." Willow reminds him there are a few small problems with that, like she has no references and no rent. Nick says he will call the manager. She thanks him. Hugs.

Kayla apologizes for the sneak attack. She wants to take Patch down memory lane. He wants to know when the drugs will kick in. He asks to see the empty syringe. He picks it up and studies it, "That was the weapon of choice back in the bin."

Kayla says, "But we're gonna use it to make you better."

Steve drones, "That's what they always told me."

Gabby pours a drink from duck's private stock for Bo. Knowing Shawn, Belle and Phillip are headed back, he thought it would be best to be plastered by the time they get there. Gabby calls in for more info. She repeats what she hears, "Belle... Phillip... Shawn Brady.... He was the last one out of the water."

Bo asks, "What about the baby?"

"They rescued Belle," says Gabby, "She's fine." She goes back to the radio and asks for the status of Claire. She listens, and then turns to Bo and says, "They can't find Claire."

Patch plays his harmonica. Kayla watches. Patch looks up at her, "God, you're so beautiful."

"That's just the medicine talking," says Kayla.

He tells her it's him. Kayla doesn't think this is appropriate patient-doctor interaction. He grabs her. She thinks he's crossing the line. "I don't need a doctor," says Steve, "I need my wife."

"We can't," says Kayla, "I don't carry Viagra in my bag. The next few weeks won't be easy."

"They couldn't be any worse than the last 15 years," says Steve. Not to mention the last fifteen minutes. Kayla tells him they aren't leaving the room until she has her husband back. He tells her they will be there for a long time. "That won't be the worst thing that ever happened to me," says Kayla, "One time I had to catch up on two weeks of DOOL tapes in one day."

Chelsea claims innocence. Hope tells her about the panties. "That's impossible," says Chelsea, "We never slept together. He gave me the speech about not disrespecting Maggie. And I was stupid enough to believe him!"

Hope asks, "Is he seeing someone else?"

"If not," says Chelsea, "he's got a lot of explaining to do."

Nick knows how the blackmail game is played. He will get Willow the apartment but never wants to hear about the hairbrush again.

Bo and Gabby speculate about what happened to Claire as they hear the boat come up to the dock. Bo thinks maybe the second team might have found her.

Kayla doesn't think Steve will like her much over the next couple days, "I have to try to get inside your mind."

"Shouldn't be too hard," says Patch, "There's a lot of room in there."

Kayla wants him to look at the photos and remember the people from his heart not just his head, "Steven Earl Johnson... son of Jo and Duke Johnson... Jack... Adrienne... Stephanie..." He takes the picture of Stephanie. Kayla asks what he is feeling.

Chelsea says she should have "IDIOT" tattooed on his forehead. Hope thinks there could be an explanation. Chelsea asks what Hope would do under the same circumstances.

Hope offers mature and helpful advice, "Kill him."

"Great idea," says Chelsea.

"Just get the facts," says Hope.

"I don't know who I hate more," says Chelsea, "Him or her."

Hope offers mature and helpful advice, "Him."

The rescue crew brings the kiddie corps in. Shawn stands dripping wet with a towel wrapped around him, "I lost her, Dad. I lost my daughter." Hugs. Belle whimpers and shakes.

Nick writes a check to get Willow started. It will cover the deposit and first month's rent. Willow wonders where the rest will come from. Chelsea knocks. Nick tells Willow to get out. "Oh no," says Willow, "I'm not missing the fun."

Caroline brings Hope coffee and asks what's up. Hope says it was Bo on the phone. They found the boat. Claire is missing. Caroline says they have to believe they will find her, "It may take six months and she'll be eighteen, but they will find her."

Bo gives Belle a cup of coffee. Belle is a tower of strength. She shakes and gives that thousand-yard stare she is so famous for.

Shawn refuses his coffee and starts to walk back to the chopper. Bo says he is too weak to go help rescue, "They will find her."

Claire smears black tar on her face and silently swims for shore, "They'll never find me. It's a good thing I read Phillip's jungle survival manual."

Shawn says they put a vest on her and checked it, "There has to be a signal." Phillip comes up to them and says it isn't Shawn's fault. He was the last to hold her and is responsible for losing her. The surge pulled them out into the ocean and they got dragged down. A wave hit them and she was ripped from him. He swears he never let go. Shawn and Phillip share a buddy hug. Belle shakes.

Patch is sick of reciting things over and over again like a school kid. Kayla suggests he recite poems. She asks him what he thinks of Stephanie's picture. He pulls it down.

"Stephanie Johnson, she's my baby.
Can't decide if she loves or hates me.

Robert Burns rolls over in his grave.

"OK," says Kayla, "Perhaps poetry wasn't such a good idea. Do you love her?"

"She's my kid," drones Patch. He turns into Devil-Patch, "We're done here!"

Kayla says, "Fine!" She pulls out another picture and sticks it in his face, "How does that make you feel?"

Patch stares at EJ's picture and says he didn't see that coming. He claims it does nothing for him. She asks if she should put it on the wall. Patch has a meltdown. He tears them all down and rips her picture in half. Kayla wonders if that was supposed to hurt her feelings, "Get back in bed."

Steve comes off the hinges, "DON'T GIVE ME ORDERS!"

Kayla says they will stay there until someone breaks, and it won't be her. It will be the audience.

Nick pushes Willow out the window and lets Chelsea in. She wonders what took so long. He tells her he was cleaning up, "The place was a mess."

"Did you remember to pick up the extra panties," she asks.

Nick is shocked, "Maggie told you about the panties?"

"Maggie told everyone in Salem about the panties and she is now passing out flyers in Times Square."

Nick claims there is an explanation. Chelsea suggests testing them in the lab to see who's cooties are on them.

Belle shakes. Bo tells her it's not her fault. Belle thinks it should be her out there, not Claire. Everyone agrees. Belle rambles about the past few months, "She's out there and alone and the water is so cold. There is no one to sing to her. If she could hear my voice she wouldn't be so scared." The radio blasts. Belle goes into freak-overdrive, "How is she? How is my baby?"

Kayla wonders how long Steve will give her the silent treatment. That's a good idea. Maybe they both could shut up. Patch tells her to leave so he can sleep. She isn't leaving. He thinks she's stubborn. He says he would have been a fool not to fall in love with her. She reminds him they promised more than love. They promised courage... sacrifice... boredom. She says most men would never have survived what he went through. She cuddles him and tells him to get some sleep. She will be there when he wakes up.

Patch looks longingly into her eyes, "Are you sure my middle name is Earl?"

"Positive," says Kayla. They fall asleep. The viewers were asleep long ago.

Nick tells Chelsea there is no other girl. Chelsea reminds him of the little incident with Billie. He claims he doesn't know how the panties got there. She accuses him of sleeping around. He thinks the underwear may be Abby's and will ask Maggie about that, "The only panties I want under my bed are yours. I love you."

Gabby gets back on the radio and asks for a status report. Despair! She gives them the bad news – they haven't found Claire. Her beacon isn't working, "They've changed the mission from rescue to recovery."

Phillip rushes Bo, "You got to get those choppers back in the air!"

"I don't have any authority here," says Bo.

"You never let that stop you back in Salem," says Phillip.

Belle falls apart. Shawn insists Claire didn't die. Belle sinks into the depths of despair.

On a deserted island just west of Tinda Lao, Claire sips cocoanut milk and looks at the stars before falling asleep.

FF on everyone.


Marlena tells Hope, "Belle isn't the only person who has had a visit from John in her dreams. John has come to me also."

Phillip tells Victor, "It was my job to keep her safe. And now, my little girl is gone."

Sami tells Lucas, "I'm happy with who I am... and I'm happy with you and our kids... and I'm not gonna let anybody take that away from me."

Tony screams at EJ, "You bring me Samantha Roberts now!"

Monday, May 21, 2007

The Hokey Pokey And The Hanky Panky

Patch and Bo spiral in toward the sea. Patch counts down the seconds they have left to live. It looks like the sands have run out of the hourglass for Botch.

Shawn gives Belle the bad news, "I can't fix it. The engine has burned out"

"Can't you relight it," asks Belle.

"We just have to ride this thing out," says Phillip.

"Some kids get to go to Disneyland," says Claire.

Shawn says it doesn't look good. He thinks they can survive though. The first thing is not to panic. Belle panics.

Lucas carries Sami across the threshold. He checks his watch and says he thinks they have time for a quickie. "Good things shouldn't be rushed," says Sami.

"But, honey," whines Lucas, "Kids shouldn't see their parents going at it – doing the Hokey Pokey and the Hanky Panky. I'm sorry to tell you baby, but Will is going to be home soon. I called him from the airport."

Sami thinks Will might still be mad at her for what happened at the wedding. Lucas says he 'splained things to him. Sami says, "All Will wants is a normal family and I'm like a one woman circus. Lucas tells her it's all because of EJ. Sami says, "I can't believe him. He comes to our wedding and reception and honeymoon. We're probably lucky he's not camped at our doorstep."

Lucas says EJ is probably back in his office shredding documents. He tells her he went to the SEC between whacks on the DiMera mansion.

Celeste lights a cauldron and tells EJ to take his shirt off – but it's not gratuitous. Incantations really do work better when you're half naked. She seeks the power and wisdom of the spirits that walk the night, "Who is the father of Samantha's baby? Lucas or Elvis? Tell us! Does the ancient DiMera blood line flow through the heart of the soul of Samantha's unborn child?"

Phillip grabs the life vests. Shawn goes to put one on Claire. The vests have GPS beacons, which will alert search parties once they are in the water. Of course, they couldn't have been used after Phillip threw Belle's GPS overboard. The boat lurches and Belle falls in Phillip's arms. She tells him she is sorry from the bottom of her heart.

Bo screams. Patch screams. The plane dives. Bo rambles on about how Patch is a DiMera pawn. Patch brings it up. Bo asks if Patch is going to put a bullet in his head.

Sami thinks Lucas has poked a big stick at a big snake by calling the SEC. Lucas says, "Things will work out and we will put EJ away and live happily for all the Days Of Our Lives." Sami asks what if the baby isn't his. Lucas doesn't care. He's in love with the mother.

Celeste asks for the items she requested. EJ pulls out a pair of Lucas' gloves and Sami's scarf, eye of newt and toe of frog. She has two peacock feathers, one representing Lucas and one representing EJ. She hands them to him and instructs him to blow on them and wrap it all in his shirt. EJ blows. The show sucks. EJ places everything in the fire.

"Now we wait," says Celeste, "When the fire burns out only one feather will escape the inferno – That of the child's father. You or Lucas."

Bo asks if Patch is going to follow orders. Patch says no one tells him what to do. Bo says their real marching orders are to head back home. Patch says when he has Shawn's statement he will know what to do.

"So will I," says Bo, "Looks like we both have our orders."

Belle wants Phillip's forgiveness for cutting him out of Claire's life. Shawn listens. If Belle had it to do over she would invite Phillip back in.

Shawn steps out, "So would I." Phillip softens. Belle tells him he doesn't have to be related in order to be family. She hands Claire to Phillip. Claire whispers in his ear, "Don't worry. In Salem, everyone's related anyway."

Sami says, "I don't know what planet I'm living on, hoping EJ will be decent about this baby."

Lucas says, "Decent and EJ go together like nitro and glycerin. That's why I had to stop him. Listen to me my beautiful wife, we will have a happy marriage and a home where trouble doesn't barge in every five minutes."

Trouble barges in, "You lying conniving manipulator, you blew the whistle on my company! Don't deny it! Sami, I could wring your neck!" Lucas tells Kate he is the one who tipped the SEC. Kate doesn't believe it. She thinks Sami forced him.

Just to make things a little more interesting, Will comes into the room, "What's my mom done now?" Kate tells him Sami forced Lucas to do something unforgivable. Lucas backs her off and hugs Will. He goes outside with Kate. Sami hugs Will and tells him she missed him. Will gives that confused teen idiot look.

Kate tells Lucas he has hurt her. Lucas says he has every right to want EJ out of their lives. Kate asks, "Why didn't you tell him to stop sleeping with her then?"

Lucas yells, "She didn't sleep with him! He raped her!"

"So," snorts Kate, "If you go through with this, you are in for the fight of your life."

Phillip knows he put Shawn and Belle through hell. If he had done right by them they wouldn't be there. Claire asks, "Why did you have to wait until we're up to our knees in water to figure that out? " The boat lurches.

Bo and Patch find Gabby. Bo tells her he thinks Shawn and Belle are OK. He asks for the document he asked her to put in the safe. She goes for it. Bo and Patch have a staredown. Bo reminisces about the good times they have had together. Gabby hands him the document. Steve puts out his hand. Bo chuckles, "You didn't really think I was going to give this to you, did you?"

Celeste tells EJ to imagine Sami's baby is his, "Imagine Stefano ripping the infant from your arms to add years to his life." EJ has had enough. Celeste says he can't leave until the fire has burned out. He agrees to stay, "But you have to quit rambling." Celeste says that is the price he has to pay for taking Lexie. She will make him feel the pain of having a child ripped from his hands.

Sami gives Will presents from New Orleans. She says she owes him an apology for being the most embarrassing mom in history. Will says Lucas told him about the decision she had to make. He's been wanting to thank her for saving Lucas life. Hugs. Will gives her an album of pictures from the wedding. He apologizes for the picture Maggie took where she cut Grandma Kate's head off. "She's never looked better," says Sami.

Lucas says he gave Kate fair warning. Kate says he called the feds because she can't stand his wife, "How vindictive are you going to be, Lucas?"

Lucas says, "I don't know, but I had a pretty good teacher when I was growing up."

Steve asks for the paper. Bo says he thinks Steve will kill him after he gets it. Steve pulls a knife, "Give me the document!"

"If you want it," sneers Bo, "Come and get it."

The boat rocks. Belle takes Claire. Shawn says he has been thinking about his life and doesn't like what he sees. He thinks they all played a part in this. The grim reaper makes them get honest in a hurry. He and Phillip share a macho-buddy hand butt. Phillip wishes they had done things different. Claire rolls her eyes, "Now you think of that."

Belle says, "Let's make a promise. Let's go back to Salem, and work things out."

Phillip says, "Deal!"

Claire says, "Hey, I have an idea, why don't you guys go on without me and I'll show up in five years when I'm 18." Big crash. The lights go out and everyone gets tossed like a rag doll. Water gushes into the boat.

Bo tells Steve this is about more than the document. He's trying to save both their lives. He says Steve is dead if he keeps listening to the voices in his head. Bo pulls out his own knife, "Brush and floss... Love thy neighbor... Fight the bad guys... That's what I'm all about."

"And I thought I was the nut," says Steve.

Bo sticks his knife into the counter, "No paper... no surrender..." No Mas!

"Are you crazy or stupid," asks Steve.

"Yes," says Bo, "If I'm gonna die it might as well be at the hands of my friend, and for something I believe in."

Steve rushes Bo and grabs him from the back. He holds the knife up against Bo's throat." Gabby moves forward. Steve freaks, "Don't touch that phone! Back off! This is your last chance. Give me the paper."

"You're gonna have to pry it from my cold dead hands," says Bo.

Charleton Heston walks onto the set, grabs Bo by the hair and yanks his head back, "That's my line. Use it again and I'm gonna part more than the Dead Sea."

Suddenly, Kayla comes out of nowhere, "Steve! No! Put that knife down right now."

"Nag, nag, nag," says Steve.

Lucas claims EJ forced his hand. He tells her EJ showed up at the honeymoon. Kate says she had nothing to do with that and it isn't fair for Lucas to destroy her while trying to get revenge on EJ. "Life isn't fair," says Lucas.

"Out of all my children," says Kate, "I thought we were the closest."

"We are," says Lucas, "I hate you less than the rest of them."

Kate's crocodile tears fill the hallway.

"You never knew when to cut the cord," says Lucas, "You just wrapped it around my neck. It's sink or swim. You're on your own this time."


Kate yells, "You have turned into one ungrateful son!" Lucas tells her she humiliated them on the best day of their lives. She has not been a good mother. Kate thinks they are too upset to talk. She suggests talking tomorrow morning. Lucas tells her that won't be necessary. He looks at his watch and sees the date, "Time to disown you again." Sami listens.

"Then I guess it's goodbye," says Kate. She walks off. Sami comes out. She tells Lucas Kate will come to her senses.

Lucas vows, "We're never gonna let anyone come between us again." Translation: Everyone in Salem is lining up to come between them.

EJ says Stefano needs the stem cells. Celeste asks if EJ will protect the baby against Stefano.

Kayla isn't moving until Steve drops the knife, "You have to kill me now. Go ahead. You are my husband. I love you. Remember... To have and to hold..."

Steve whimpers, "No! Stop!"

Kayla drones, "For richer or poorer... In sickness and in health... Through the worst plots in the history of bad drama... Until death do us part."

Steve collapses crying, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

The sea rages. Shawn shows Claire some magic and turns on the blinky light on her life vest. The boat heaves.

Elvis says he will know what to do with the child. He pulls a feather out of the fire, "Who's is this?"

Celeste stares for an eternity, "It's yours. You are the father. What will you do now?"

"Save my father."

On board the doomed boat, the baby bawls. So does Claire. Belle rambles. She thinks things will be OK.

Phillip recognizes Shawn as the guy who came after him when he was kidnapped in the war zone. Shawn recognizes Phillip as the guy who was his best friend. They all start singing Amazing Grace...


Kayla comforts Steve. She asks Bo if he is OK.

"Thanks to you," says Bo. Kayla thinks Steve isn't up for a long flight home. She says she isn't afraid of Steve. That's what scares Bo. Kayla says they will stay there until he gets better. Bo goes over and tells Steve to take care and listen to Kayla. He turns to Kayla, "I guess this is adios."

Gabby runs up in total panic, "I just got another radio transmission from the Coast Guard. I'm so sorry. The boat went down. Shawn, Belle, Claire... They all went down with the boat." Bo stares.


Willow twirls her panties and tells Nick, "Evidence proves you are guilty even though you are innocent."

Hope and Chelsea sit in a booth in the pub. Hope says, "You could have been up front with me, Chelsea, and told me the truth." Chelsea asks, "Told you the truth about what?" Hope says, "You and Nick."

Steve holds up a syringe, "That was the weapon of choice back in the bin." Kayla says, "But we're gonna use it to make you better." Steve says, "That's what they always told me."

Shawn stands dripping wet with a towel wrapped around him, "I lost her, Dad. I lost my daughter." Hugs. Belle whimpers.

Claire swims like crazy and says to herself, "Thank goodness. I think I lost them."

Friday, May 18, 2007

The Addams Family

Lucas swings his sledgehammer. "I've Been Workin' on the Chain Gang" plays in the background. Jack Henry has been pounding on this wall for a week now and he has knocked exactly five bricks out of it.

Sami asks, "You really think I should have the amnio?"

"Yeah," says Lucas, "We'll go for an amnio just as soon as we get back."

"Oh, good," says Sami, "We can get them together."

Lucas rants against EJ. He says he heard EJ's sob story when EJ was talking to Sami. Lucas is willing to take the chance that EJ is not the father. Sami cries. She can't take that chance.

EJ wonders since when Celeste takes orders from Tony. "Since the DiMeras took my daughter," says Celeste. She tells him about the stem cells. EJ tells her Sami's baby has to be his. Too much is at stake.

Celeste has an epiphany, "What? Oh, dear God! Those stem cells are to come from Samantha's baby, aren’t they?"

Phillip swears he won't let anything happen to Belle or Claire. Belle doesn't buy it. Claire has heard it before. Phillip says he is tired of fighting. He hears something on deck and goes to check it out.

Shawn lies in a bleeding heap. He struggles to get up. Suddenly, Phillip and Shawn are face-to-face.

The plane goes around in circles. So do Bo and Steve. Bo spills the beans about getting Shawn's signature. Patch can't let that happen. He asks Bo to give him the statement. Bo refuses. "I'm gonna have to insist," says Patch.

EJ tells Celeste to mind her own business. Celeste says he made it her business. She demands to know where Lexie is. He tells her she has to hold on longer. He gives her his word he will tell. Celeste wonders what kind of man he is. Lying rapist for starters. And now the stem cells. She's disgusted. He tells her to leave.

"I'm sick," says Celeste, "I am sick inside that this crackpot scheme is the source of all this misery. You owe Stefano nothing. You'd better realize that, because he will destroy you."

Shawn tells Phillip he dropped by for Belle. "Then what," asks Phillip, "Are you gonna swim?"

"No," says Shawn, "I'm taking control of the boat, with one arm tied behind my back."

Phillip insists Belle came of her own free will, "You do what I say, or you swim your way home!" Shawn freaks and heads for him.

Bo reminds Steve he said he was there to help them. Steve tells him not to make it more difficult than it is. Bo brings up their history. They have always been there for each other. Flashback to Bo pulling Steve out of the water. He gives him mouth-to-mouth. It's in their contract he never has to do that again.

"Just give me the damn document," yells Patch.

"It won't happen," screams Bo.

Patch freaks, "Wrong answer!" He pulls a gun out and points it at Bo.

Sami cries. Lucas comforts. If she doesn't want to have the amnio, she doesn't have to. Sami babbles. She doesn't want to risk the baby. If the baby turns out to be EJ's his badgering will be even worse. Sami says even with this going on, this is the happiest time of her whole life because she is married to Lucas. That may be denial, but she might want to live in denial to protect the baby. Lucas says she doesn't have to get the amnio. She falls in his arms and thanks him. Slap, tickle and tool belt time ensues.

Sami asks, "Are you ready for saying 'hell no' to EJ Wells?" Lucas is ready.

EJ tells Celeste Stefano would never hurt him. Celeste says Stefano is a coward, using his family to make himself feel important. EJ says she is wrong. Celeste says, "He raised you as a weapon, not a son. He's using your demon seed so the Phoenix can rise again."

EJ says he has heard enough. "No," gasps Celeste, "You have to save this child. If you are the father, you need to stand up to Stefano and save your baby's life."

Belle comes up and begs Phillip not to do anything stupid. Shawn, however, is another matter. He takes a swing a Phillip and collapses. Dr. Kiriakis goes into action.

Bo reminds Steve if he takes the statement, Bo can just have Shawn sign another document. Steve says it doesn't have to come to him killing Bo. They scream at each other. Bo plays his trump card, "He tried to kill your wife!"

"Leave Kayla out of this!"

"Why," asks Bo, "Are you gonna sell her out too? Are you choosing Wells over her?"

"We'll all be fine if you just give me that damn document," says Patch.

Bo says Wells didn't send him for the document, "He wants me dead. Do you want me dead, too?"

EJ says they will know very soon if the child is his, "If it isn't, I will fade away and leave the Roberts family alone for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Celeste says she spent the darkest days of her life in that mansion. She thought Stefano was a god. She wonders if the baby is his, how far he will go to save an evil old man.

Sami and Lucas come up and ask what Celeste is doing there.

Bo yells, "Tell me EJ didn't send you here to kill me." Patch flashes back to his programming and EJ's instructions. His mission is to kill Bo Brady. EJ's orders ring in Steve's head. Bo talks him down, "Elvis has some kind of hold on you."



People in the audience stand up, "NO! SHOOT US AND GET IT OVER WITH!"

Celeste assures Sami and Lucas she is there on family business.

"What family," asks Lucas, "the Mansons? The Addams family? Oh, the DiMeras. Same thing."

Sami tells EJ she isn't willing to risk her baby's life. He has to wait for the baby to be born. "NO WAITING FIVE MONTHS," says EJ.

"What's your rush," asks Lucas.

Belle can't believe Shawn came after them in the storm.

"He's nuts but he doesn't give up," says Phillip.

"He's a lot like you," says Belle.

"You're all nuts," says Claire.

Phillip goes for bandages. Belle tells Shawn to open his eyes. He does, and apologizes for not killing Phillip. Belle tells him the fighting is over. They will get Claire to safety and work together.

Phillip picks up Claire. Stares all around.

"Do it," yells Bo, "Pull the trigger! I know you can't, no matter what the DiMeras did to you. You're not a cold-blooded killer. You wouldn't kill your friend."

"You're not my friend," screams Patch, "You put my eye out!"

EJ wants this matter settled. He wants closure. "We want it too," says Lucas, "So why don't you go hang yourself for us?"

Sami tells EJ she wants to be rid of him, but won't risk her child's life for it. She accuses him of not caring about the baby.

EJ remembers Celeste talking about lighting the fire herself and roasting marshmallows over his flaming corpse, "At least Stefano loved his children and put their safety first."

EJ tells Sami "That's not true"

Sami says the child's life comes first. She asks him to respect their marriage and give them space while they wait. EJ says she is right. He will leave everything until the baby is born. Sami appreciates that. They leave.

Celeste says she is impressed, IF he means what he said. He says he meant every word. Celeste asks, "In that case what are you going to tell Stefano?"

Phillip revs the engine. Shawn eats chicken soup. Chicken Soup for the Moron's Soul. Belle thinks he took an awful chance coming after them. Shawn hears the engine rev and wonders what Phillip is doing. Phillip comes down. Shawn tells him the engine is running too fast. Phillip argues.

Bo says they hashed out his de-eye-ification years ago. Bo reminds Patch he had his chance for vengeance. Steve flashes back to driving a lift truck into Bo. Kayla pulls him out of the way.

Bo tells him to put the gun away.

Lucas tells Sami she did a good job standing up to EJ. He's skeptical that EJ will leave them alone. Sami thinks maybe this time he will, "You were saying something about teaching him a lesson."

Lucas says, "A lesson he will never forget. I'll put a flaming bag of dog poop at his doorstep AND short-sheet his bed. This will be the end of EJ Wells."

Belle begs Phillip to listen to Shawn. Phillip says they have to get ahead of the storm. BOOM! Silence.

Bo works on Steve, "You're not a killer."

"Then why am I here," asks Steve, "Why am I holding this gun?"

"You're not thinking straight," says Bo, "It will be OK." Bo grabs the gun. Struggle.

Sami asks what Lucas has planned. He tells her about EJ cooking the books. He thinks they can get him for that. Sami says he's a DiMera and he won't go to jail, "Think about your mom. She will go down too."

We pause while the audience gives a standing ovation.

"She's a big girl," says Lucas, "And EJ is going down."

EJ swears he will protect the baby. He wants to find another way to get an answer. He wants Celeste to use the black arts to find out.

Shawn inspects the engine and says they threw a rod, "Congratulations captain, we're dead."

Downstairs, Belle tells Claire how wonderful things are. The boys come down and Shawn tells her the engine can't be fixed, "There is nothing we can do except wait an pray."

Bo and Steve wrestle. The gun goes flying. Steve screams, "Damn you! Plans are in motion!" Bo says he will protect Steve. Patch puts the plane into a power dive, "Give me the statement, Bo! Give it to me now or we both will die!" FF Bo.


Claire cries. Belle says, "Let's make a promise. Let's go back to Salem, and work things out." Phillip says, "Deal!" Big crash. The lights go out and everyone gets tossed like a rag doll.

Kate asks, "How vindictive are you going to be, Lucas?" Lucas says, "I don't know. I guess you just found out."

EJ and Celeste kneel before a flaming cauldron. Celeste chants, "Tell us! Does the ancient DiMera blood line flow through the heart of the soul of Samantha's unborn child?"

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