Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Zee Moose Und Zee Squirrel

LA Skyline. Carrie can't believe Sami is in LA and was in the restroom when she was. She doesn’t want to have to explain things about her and Mike and all that.

Sami can't believe Lucas is in LA with some woman. "He can date someone if he wants to," says Austin, "Come on, let's dance."

"OMG, she's here. The woman from the bathroom. She had the coolest shoes. I wondered where she got them," says Sami.

Austin goes over to ask her, "Excuse me. I was wondering... Oh, man... I can't believe it's you." But, fear not, dear viewers. This ain't Carrie.

Alex and Marlena stand by the fire. Maggie says it's good to see them. She escorts them to their table and asks about Claire. Small-talk, chit-chat, Maggie leaves.

Marlena tells Alex they shouldn't have left Belle at the hospital. Alex reminds her she has other people there supporting her. "The problem," says Marlena, "is Claire is fighting for her life. Should I not be concerned with my family?"

"No, you shouldn't," says Alex.

Kate paces in the snow. John wants to know what she is doing out there without a cold. She thought the cold air would wake her up. She tells him Claire is stable but not good, "If she doesn't make it..."

"Lexie and the doctors are doing everything they can. Right now, I am concerned about you, Kate." Hugs. Lexie and the doctors. He got that right.

Belle paces. Belle frets. Shawn comes up. Belle tells him Claire's kidneys are failing. She is getting worse. Phillip is asleep, "One of us needs to be rested in case... in case... there are decisions that need to be made."

Lexie comes up to them, "I'm not going to sugarcoat things. Claire has taken a turn for the worse."

"NO," screams Belle, "The nurse said her test results are better."

Lexie goes through the grim litany. Belle gets faint, "JUST HELP MY DAUGHTER!"

John offers to take Kate home. She won't leave Phillip and the baby. John asks, "When was the last time you ate?"

"This morning in the cafeteria," says Kate, "I had some toast – you know. You were there."

"Kate," he says, "That was two days ago. In fact, it was two days ago Salem time, which means you last ate in October. Come on, I’m going to take you out to dinner."

Kate protests. She isn't hungry. John isn't taking no for an answer. He drags her off.

Marlena asks, "Are you saying I shouldn't be concerned with my family?"

"No, of course not," says Alex, "But we had to dangle that stupid statement in front of the viewers to leave them hanging. But if you don't take care of yourself, you'll be of no use to Belle, Claire or anyone."

They kick this around for a while. We get the idea. "Thank you for being so concerned about me," says Marlena."

"Do you hear that," asks Alex, "I'll be home for Christmas – we danced to that on our first Christmas together."

"I don't remember it."

"That doesn't mean we can't dance to it now. It might bring back some memories," says Alex.

Marlena catches on, "Or, it might take my mind off my concerns for John and my family." Alex stares.

"RORI FINCH," says Austin, "It's been so long since I have seen you. What are you doing in LA?" The Ror-ster is there to do fundraising for victims of Katrina and Rita. We, the catatonic audience get one of those patented DOOL lectures on how quickly people forget and get preoccupied with our own miserable insignificant lives.

"BUT, LOOK AT YOU," Roars Rori. Hugs.

Sami comes up. Austin introduces them. He tells Sami he and Rori used to hang out together in New York. He tells Rori Sami was wondering about her shoes. Rori doesn't remember where she got them. She turns her attention back to Austin. Sami stands there like the fifth wheel while Rori tells Austin he could base his company in Dogpatch and make a success of it.

"Dogpatch, Salem, what's the difference," asks Austin.

Sami butts in and asks Rori if she is OK after her little accident in the restroom. Rori doesn't know what Sami is talking about. Back to Austin, Austin, Austin. Sami suggests she and Austin get back to their business. Austin says their work is done for tonight. Rori thinks her work is just beginning. Sami ain't happy.

Carrie tells Lucas they need to get out of there before anyone sees them. Rori hangs onto Austin with a death-grip. Sami looks across the room, "OMG, Austin, look over there!"

"I zink ve did it, Natasha," says Lucas, "I zink ve zugzessfully eluded Zee Moose und Zee Squirrel."

Carrie giggles. She tells Lucas, "You must think I'm crazy, but I'm not ready to deal with Sami or Austin."

"I can understand that, but I don't think either of them are in a position to point fingers at you because your relationship with Mike didn't work out," says Lucas.

Carrie says, "Austin and I were kind of the storybook couple, but then Sami – No. I'm not gonna blame this on Sami. Then I fell in love with Mike and Austin and I were finished. Now to let everyone in Salem know I wrecked my marriage so I could jump into a relationship that didn't work out isn't going to be easy."

Lucas is sorry for whatever part he played in that.

"No," says Carrie, "You grew up and moved on. But when I was in the restroom I overheard Sami telling the attendant about how she was going to get Austin back. Can you believe that?"

"Yeah," says Lucas, "It's typical Sami. Bouncing back and forth between me and my brother."

"And then she told the attendant she was in love with you."

"Which is irrelevant," says Lucas, "What's that old saying? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Except I've been fooled so many times I can't even count. It's over. What Sami and I had is over. I'm moving on with my life. And it does not include Sami."

Carrie says, "You almost make it sound like you found someone else."

Puppy-Dog-Eyes Lucas says, "I have. At least... I hope I have."

Kate and John arrive at Chez Retch. Maggie tells them they are full-up. John sees Marlena and Alex dancing, "Yeah," he growls, "I see."

Marlena says she has no memory of dancing with Alex to this song, "But I do have a memory of dancing with John to this song."

"Reeaallllyyy..."

"Yeah," she sees John and Kate. She and Alex go over. Marlena asks about Claire. Alex suggests they get back to their table.

John tells Kate, "She's committed to staying with North. She told me to move on."

"Well," says Kate, "Maybe that's something you should consider at this point."

"How," asks John, "How can you just forget about someone you love?"

"I don't think I'm the person you should be asking that question," says Kate.

Belle thanks Shawn for giving blood. Shawn was glad to do it, "I would do anything for her. Besides, she may be the closest thing I'll ever have to a biological child. You know, if things work out with Mimi."

Belle is thrilled to hear that, "You guys are that serious already?"

"Well, uh, um... You never know."

Belle says, "When I see you with Claire or Zach, I see what a good father you would be, so I really think you should dump the barren and evil Mimi immediately. Just take it slow, OK?"

Shawn tells her when this is over she and Phillip will have a beautiful baby daughter to raise and he and Belle will remain friends.

Lexie comes out with grim news. They need gallons of blood or they will lose Claire.

"RAFFLE – WIN 2 TICKETS TO THE ROLLING STONES CONCERT – PROCEEDS BENEFIT HURRICANE KATRINA VICTIMS – $25.00"

"Austin," says Sami, "Look at that sign! They are raffling off tickets to the rolling stones concert!" Austin loves The Stones. He's going to buy a slew of tickets and give Rori a special donation. Rori thanks Austin with a special donation. Sami pulls out her AK-47 and gives Rori a special donation.

Lucas and Carrie sit on a park bench with coffee and dessert. Lucas tells her he's ready to settle down. Carrie confides in Lucas she hasn't dated anyone since Mike because, after all these years, she still has feelings for Austin. I'da never guessed. She thought with Sami and Lucas together, Sami wouldn't be free to interfere.

"Yeah," says Lucas, "Well, that's not gonna happen. It's over between me and Sami. I've been there too many times."

Carrie says, "I thought it was possible to get together with Austin until I heard Sami telling the attendant she wants to get back with him. I don't know what I'm gonna do about my feelings for Austin because there is no way I'm gonna get involved in another triangle with him and my sister. I can't deal with that."

"What if Sami and Austin end up getting together? Do you think you could forget about him and start a life with somebody else?" Translation: How about a quadrangle?

Maggie comes up to John and Kate's table, "You told me Marlena might want to get back together with Alex, but you didn't tell me they were married." Maggie knows what John is going through. She got Mickey back just like John is going to get Marlena back.

"No point in trying to change her mind," says John, "North never gives me a minute alone with her."

"Oh," says Maggie, "He doesn't, does he? Well, why don't you go wait in the bar?"

Maggie goes over and tells Marlena the bartender received a phone call for her. She can pick up the message in the bar.

Alex starts to go with her but Maggie throws an NFL lineman block, "She is perfectly capable of picking up a message on her own." Maggie gets fifteen yards for clipping, but it was worth it.

Alex sees Kate sitting alone. He goes over and sits down with her. "A gentleman usually asks before sitting down," says Kate. A gentleman, yes. Alex, no.

Alex tries again. He tells Kate he is merely in love with Marlena, "We both know you are still in love with John."

"As long as he has a chance with Marlena," says Kate, "He won't be interested in me or anyone else."

Marlena goes to the bartender and says she was told she has a message.

John comes up behind her, "There is no message. This is simply Maggie's way of getting us together."

"Oh," cries Marlena, "I thought the hospital called. I thought there was something wrong with the baby."

"If Claire needs more blood," says Belle, "I will give a pint or two or three. I don't care about your protocol."

Shawn offers to donate again. Lexie won't allow it. The blood bank is making calls to compatible donors. She tells Belle Claire needs her to stay strong and focused. Too bad Claire doesn't need someone who can be weak and scatterbrained.

Lexie goes. "I've never been this scared in my life," wails Belle.

"She's not my daughter but I love her as if she were," says Shawn, "I will do whatever it takes to save her."

"If you love John you have to stay focused and do whatever it takes," says Alex.

"All I am concerned about now is my sick granddaughter," says Kate. Flashback to the blood type switch. "I will do whatever it takes to keep that baby alive, and keep Belle and Phillip together."

Shawn promises Belle won't lose Claire.

Lexie tells the nurse, "We're running out of options."

Belle yells at Lexie, "What do you mean they can't find anyone to give blood?"

"The holidays are here," says Lexie, "People are out of town or too busy." Shawn and Belle insist on giving blood. Lexie won't have it, "Right now we're going to work on controlling the hemorrhaging. If we can't do that, the blood won't matter. I'll keep you informed." Lexie leaves.

Belle wails, "SHE'S GONNA DIE!!"

"No," says Shawn, "Go to the chapel. I'll take care of the blood." Belle leaves. Shawn goes to the nurse. He tells her he was rejected yesterday. The nurse checks the record and says it shows he gave blood yesterday. Shawn tells her he offered, but Lexie told him to wait until the last minute so he could give it when they really needed it.

"You're doing a wonderful thing," says the nurse.

Carrie says, "If Austin and Sami got back together, and if I believed it was serious, I wouldn't come between them. I would never do to Sami what she did to me."

Lucas says, "That's why you're so great and Sami is..."

"... Sami," says Carrie.

Lucas agrees, "Yeah."

"She drugged him to get him to sleep with her," says Carrie, "She changed the hospital files to make him think Will was his son. He won't get back with her."

Lucas says, "Stranger things have happened – every day in Salem."

Carrie vows, "I have to find out"

Lucas reminds her, "We just spent the entire night dodging them. Let me take you home."

Carrie rummages through her purse. She left a confidential file in the restaurant. It's her five-year business plan. This doofus would do well to have a five-minute business plan. She says it would be terrible if it got into the wrong hands. She runs back to the retrieve it.

"Nobody's hands are stickier than Sami's," says Lucas.

Sami contemplates the folder on the table, which says "Highstyle." Austin comes up and tells Sami he needs her help.

"Get your friend Rori to do it," she growls.

"Believe me," says Austin, "It has to be you."

Sami and Austin leave. Carrie runs up and snatches the papers.

Sami looks up and says, "Austin, that is the biggest sprig of mistletoe I have ever seen." Austin takes her in his arms and plants a big one on her.

Carrie watches, "Austin? How could I have been so wrong?"

Sami regains consciousness, "Wow! Austin, that wasn't just the biggest kiss I ever had, it was the best!

The lights come on and the crowd goes wild. They have won the 'Christmas for Katrina' kissing contest. Holy cow. They said 'Christmas.' Where are the Political-Correctness Police when you need them?

Sami asks, "So it wasn't a real kiss – it was for charity?"

Austin asks, "What could be more real than giving to charity?" Hurricane Sami. That would be real. Category 10.

He goes off to sign the check.

Sami whispers, "That was real. I could feel it, and I know I am going to become the next Mrs. Austin Reed."

Carrie tells Lucas about the kiss, "It wasn't a friendly peck on the cheek."

Oh-so-compassionate Lucas is there for her. Hugs. They head for home as Carrie bawls.

Alex says he would think Kate would be rooting for Marlena to stay with him. Kate says she would, but doesn't think it will happen.

Maggie watches John and Marlena together and congratulates herself.

Marlena cries, "Why would Maggie do that to us. Didn't she know how much that would worry me?"

"I think she knew I wanted some time with you... So many memories.," says John.

"Marlena smiles, "We've been through all that?" John kisses her. He goes for more.

Belle catches Lexie. Lexie tells her things have gotten worse worse. "Where's Shawn," yells Belle, "I need him."

Shawn tells the nurse, "Lexie said it was OK to take two pints instead of one since it's an emergency. Besides, I don't need any of the blood that goes up to my brain." The nurse hooks him up and leaves. Shawn says, "I would give every last drop of blood to save Belle's baby." FF on Shawn as he drains like a gutted deer.


Previews
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Bo says, "If Mrs. H is so sure about Shawn and Belle, maybe they are meant to be together." Hope cocks her head and raises an eyebrow.

Belle runs into the room where Shawn gave blood. Shawn is out cold on the floor, "Shawn, are you OK? Shawn?"

Mrs. Santa Bonnie tells Elf Mimi, "Now you're finally gonna find true happiness with Shawn." Reindeer Max-the-dog barks. "Even Max is sure." Gigglegigglegiggle.

Marlena breaks up a fight between John and Alex, "No, please, stop! Don't!"

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are so funny! I just discovered your "prevuzer." I'm now a fan for sure!

Thanks,
Marie

5:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shawn drains like a gutted deer.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Not unlike the poor, suffering audience - drained of our will to go on after this drivel. Oh, Prevuze!! Where do you find the strength to sit through this without zapping??? Bless You.

LOL over Carrie noting that they were running out of siblings to date. I don't think she's hooked up with Brandon yet.

6:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sami donates with her gun. HeeHee. i wish she would make the same donation to Carrie.

8:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know that old saying "This is where I came in"? Well, I first started watching Daze during the height of the Carrie-Austin-Sami-Lucas thing (back in the Patrick Muldoon era, boy was he hot!) and I'm not looking forward to seeing it again. Talk about recycling scripts!

5:09 PM  

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