Eve-O-Phobic

So, Sarah has a 16-year-old patient… who no doubt has more sense about indiscriminate promiscuity than Sarah does. #DAYS

Claire and Tripp had to open the door when Ben knocked. It's a Salem law… you must open the door even if you're in the middle of having hot sex. #DAYS

Roman comes over to watch the Super Bowl pregame — which is actually on now and will run continuously through kickoff. #DAYS

Jack: "I'm feeling claustrophobic." Or Eve-o-phobic. #DAYS

Ben gets nasty: "Don't touch me you little bitch." When a serial killer speaks like that, Claire would do well to listen. #DAYS

Was It Missionary Sex?

JJ thinks he can meddle in Haley's life since he's letting her share his shabby apartment. Haley could have found a much better Sugar Daddy. #DAYS

Sarah says Eric flipped out when he found her in bed with Xander. What did she think he would do… jump in with them? #DAYS

Sarah: "I need to put Xander behind me." Didn't she already do that – or was it missionary sex? #DAYS

Haley to JJ: "Can I trust you?" Shouldn't she have asked that about 45 minutes ago? #DAYS

On A Break

 

 

Consu-Gay-Ted

Will might have his memory back but I'll bet he can't remember all Marlena's husbands. That would be like reciting all the digits to pi down to the very last one. #DAYS

Eric: "There is nothing going on with Sarah and me." No thanks to Sarah. #DAYS

Rex refuses to call Sarah a slut… because that would be an insult to sluts everywhere. #DAYS

In other words, Sonny and Leo's marriage has never been consu-gay-ted. #DAYS

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

A long night of slumming takes its toll on Sarah. #DAYS

 

Beams Like An Overcharged Laser

If they have JJ and Haley singing duets, they'll be romping like adolescent minks before you know it. #DAYS

Brady: "You're looking at the new CEO of Titan." Chloe beams like an overcharged laser, contemplates the potential salary and her scars immediately heal. #DAYS

Manonymphiac

Tripp says a cute nurse applied his bandage and sspprrooiinngg… Claire's jealousy antennae pop up. #DAYS

Abby wants peace and stability in her life. All she has to do is stay away from herself. #DAYS

Haley discovers the cute looking guy she took care of today was JJ's cousin. She's new to Salem and hasn't yet learned everyone there is related in one way or another. #DAYS

Abby wants Chad to be the man she first fell in love with. Wasn't that Austin back in her days of chasing older men? #DAYS

Ted chases anything in a skirt. He's a manonymphiac. #DAYS

My Third Grade Teacher

Kate's rule: If you're headed for the emergency room, but not on a gurney, you can take my order first. #DAYS

Jennifer to Eve: "Jack would never marry you." How the hell does she know what a guy who has no memory would do? #DAYS

Abe to Trask: "I could hear you all the way down the hall." I can hear my third grade teacher saying the same thing. #DAYS

When I go to the hospital with a minor burn, just like Tripp instead of going to the emergency room, I go straight to the Chief of Staff. #DAYS

His Vows As A Priest

Eric to Xander: "What the hell did you do to Sarah?" Hmmm… maybe Eric spent too much time honoring his vows as a priest. #DAYS

Don't be concerned that Eric was able just to walk in on Xander and Sarah. Locks have been outlawed in Salem. Unfortunately for Sarah, so has birth control. #DAYS

Eve turned down a job in Paris to be with Jack. How does she know Jack wouldn't jump at the chance to live in Paris. #DAYS

Please donate to the GoFundMe page that has been set up to get Xander a shirt. #DAYS

Sarah The Slut

Sarah crosses that fine line between sinner and slut. #DAYS

 

Panacea

The people of Salem teach us that the solution to everything is to jump into bed. It's a panacea for relationship problems, money problems, hangnail, whatever… #DAYS

We've been informed it's the next morning in Salem, and you know what that means… a major costume change for the entire cast. #DAYS

Vic says he wants Brady to do what he does best. He wants him to run out and have another failed relationship? #DAYS

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Xander and Leo sittin' in a tree – K-I-S-S-I-N-G #DAYS

DOOL Rule

#DOOL-Rule: The guy can never beat the gal at darts unless she lets him win. #DAYS

Rex lies to Sarah… again. Rafe drops the Sami-bomb on Hope. Eric misses all the signals Sarah is sending. The guys in Salem are more clueless than they are shirtless. And that says a lot. #DAYS

If Rafe had a clue he would really be dangerous. #DAYS

Man, the people in the pub are sure getting a show from Rex and Sarah. #DAYS #DAYS

A Life Of Celibacy

Eli to Xander: "Congratulations for rising from the dead." Coming back from the dead is so common on #DOOL, congratulations really aren't necessary. #DAYS

Well, they're even now. Rafe slept with Sami and Hope shook hands with Ted. #DAYS

Rex: "I'll never cheat on Sarah again." Looks like Rex is headed for a life of celibacy. #DAYS

Half-Naked

This, of course, begs the question, "Why do things half-way?" #DAYS

 

Noooo Problemoooooo...

 

 

Xander Contemplates A Banana

Leo texts Xander. Xander contemplates a banana. Not too subtle, #DAYS

Sarah wonders if Nicole would want Eric to go to jail for murder. Xander could already press charges for assault and with Sarah as a witness it's back to the hoosegow for Eric. #DAYS

Chloe says Lucas isn't answering his messages because he's away. I guess they still just communicate by smoke signals in Europe. #DAYS

The Male Shirt Shortage

Sonny and Will can't stand being away from each other. That's understandable. They've only been divorced once. #DAYS

They've done a bit of a make over on Melinda so she'll look more like she could be Haley's sister. It didn't work. #DAYS

BULLETIN: The Red Cross is responding as quickly as possible to the male shirt shortage crisis in Salem. #DAYS

Down, Boy

Eve: "There was a time I could be bought." What? Now she does it for free?" #DAYS

Rex: "Am I interrupting something?" Down boy. You can't be upset Sarah is with Eric. After all, you and her are (say it with me) "on a break." #DAYS

Rex to Sarah: "You are the most important thing in my life. I will never jeopardize that." You mean you will never jeopardize that… again? #DAYS

Jennifer to Jack: "You taught me to be a champion of truth."

Clear The Kitchen Table And Jump On Each Other

Abby: "The three of you against me… nothing has changed." Except, for the moment, Abby is acting like she's sane. #DAYS

Brady and Chloe? Have her scars finally healed? #DAYS

JJ to Abigail: "Calm down." Have you ever noticed telling someone to calm down usually has the opposite effect? #DAYS

The Devereaux family: 1 Amnesiac, 1 Recovering druggie, 1 former trigger-happy cop, 1 recovering mental patient. #DAYS

Remind me – Is Haley Trask's sister or her granddaughter? #DAYS

Why don't Sarah and Eric just clear the kitchen table, jump on each other and get it over with?" #DAYS

Gay For Pay

 

 

It Takes One To Know One

Trask wants Abby to press charges against Gabi. It can't be because there is a shortage of criminal cases. This is Salem, for God's sake. #DAYS

Abby says she and Gabi understand each other. Maybe because they're both nut-jobs and it takes one to know one. #DAYS

Brady: "Why is there nobody here?" Did you notice he was pointing to his head when he said that? #DAYS

The Drug Market

Gabi says there is no excuse for what she did… as she proceeds to make excuse after excuse. #DAYS

Vic says Titan needs a CEO that knows the market. What market? The drug market? #DAYS

Sonny: "Last I saw Leo was following Xander to the hot tub." Will: "With any luck it will boil them both." Good one, Will. #DAYS

Holier-Than-Thou

If Ted was the high-powered super-lawyer they're trying to make him out to be, he wouldn't be in Hope's office, she would be in his. #DAYS

Gabi: "Stefan tied me up in a chair overnight and the next morning when he walked in…" he had to clean up the pee on the floor around my chair. #DAYS

Rafe plays it "holier-than-thou" with Hope. Fact is, as unholy as Rafe is, Hope is the only one anywhere he can play it that way with. #DAYS

Eve's Reputation

Roman: "2018 wasn't a good year for the Hortons." Or 2017, or 2016, or 2015, or 2014, or… #DAYS

Jack wrecks Eve's reputation of being able to seduce any man who has at least two of the five senses. #DAYS

Ciara: "Would you have been OK if Stefan murdered Gabi?" Ben: "I tried to protect you." Uh… Ben… the answer she was looking for was "no." #DAYS

Insane

What insane police department lets people interview those who committed crimes against them? Hint: the key word is "insane." #DAYS

Jack: "How many weddings did we have?" Jennifer: "Two – but that's below the Salem average." HILARIOUS… but true. #DAYS

I'm surprised the family album didn't jog Jacks memory. A trip through the Horton family album would be as terrifying as a 60 story drop down an elevator shaft. That should have made Jack's whole life flash before him. #DAYS

This is all begging the question, who is in Jack's grave… or the urn his ashes are in. #DAYS

DOOL-Double-Whammy

After a brief hiatus, we're back to another episode of #DOOL with the question on everyone's lips, "Who will be coming back from the dead today?" #DAYS

Jack is back from the dead with amnesia – a condition known as the #DOOL-Double-Whammy. #DAYS

Jack says his coffee is getting cold. Not as cold as his attitude toward people in Salem. #DAYS

Sonny: "Everyone has an Achilles heel." Not to nit-pick but, only Achilles had an Achilles heel.

"Taking It Slow" – Lani Style