I post Days of Our Lives previews here a day before the show airs. I find Daze pretty humorous on occasion, so if anything I say here offends you, well, sometimes I just can't help myself. Days Of Our Lives -- Embrace the Lunacy™
Justin: "I am a kick-ass attorney." If I were Sonny, I'd rather have him win cases as opposed to kick ass. #DAYS
Next on #DOOL — Ted: "What kept you up last night?" Kate: "My vibrator broke." #DAYS
Paul to Will: "I love you." Will responds with a thousand-yard stare. Not exactly what Paul had in mind." #DAYS
Eve: "Once the courts see what I know, that will be in your favor." That and the Kiriakis money. #DAYS
If you go back and watch the episode, he really DID give her a pep-talk about self-confidence.
Leo to Kate: "What changed." Nothing. Kate's as fickle as the famed Flying Finger of Fate. #DAYS
Now that Steve isn't wearing his patch any more, is his new nickname "Ray Bans?" #DAYS
It's nice that an old ramshackle half-burned-down cabin came with a new set of Ginsus. #DAYS
Clarification: They don't sell birth control in Salem because the stores don't have room for it. The shelves are all taken up by the pregnancy tests required for the gals with multiple lovers.
"I can't believe how little time your therapy took," says Gabi… and every viewer as well. #DAYS
Gabi to Abby: "What's in the bag?" I believe that would be a sack full of none-of-your-business. #DAYS
Sonny to Justin: "How could you offer Leo a settlement?" Because you got Titan's butt in a wringer when you… you know… with him. #DAYS
Paul arrives just in time to prevent Will from mainlining Gatorade. #DAYS
Someone needs to hold a birth control seminar in Salem. #DAYS
Salemites: NEW RULE: You don't ALWAYS have to answer your phone. #DAYS
Abby's back and acting totally sane. She must have had the same McShrink Ben had. #DAYS
For everyone out there depressed that it's Monday I'm sure the downer scenes with Lani and her baby didn't make it much better. #DAYS
Could Abby be pregnant? They should start filming the show in Indiana since we'll all be playing "Hoosier Daddy." #DAYS
Brady: "If you're going to put out a hit on Kate, that wouldn't be good for business." Murder isn't good for business – that's one of the first things they teach you in business school. #DAYS
Chad running Titan is like Bill Gates running Apple. #DAYS
How did Gabi get home from prison? Did the prison limo give her a ride? #DAYS
Kate's outfit looks like the vinyl roof on a 1972 pimp-mobile. #DAYS
John to Claire: "This is one of those times we just hang in there." Actually, in Salem, all times are times to just hang in there. #DAYS
Hope blames Tripp for freaking Ciara out when she walked on him naked with Claire. I blame Tripp for not locking the door. #DAYS
Hope vows that she won't give in to fear… as she gives in to fear. #DAYS
Chloe announces Parker has decided to spend the summer at his grandparents: 1) Gets the pesky little kid off screen. 2) He comes back as an angst-filled teen. #DAYS
Valerie says the baby's chances, at 90%, are excellent. Would you get on a plane that had a 90% chance of landing safely? #DAYS
Eli: "I overreacted." Imagine that… someone in Salem overreacted. First time for everything #DAYS
It's a shame Ciara only has Ben to attend her pity party. #DAYS
Marlena has 300 names on her wedding list? Well, I guess that's OK. After all, your ninth marriage is very special. #DAYS
Note to Will: Hospitals have drawers full of signed consent statements from people promising not to sue, who later sued the hospital. #DAYS
Ciara: "What are you going to do to me?" Ben gives her the patented #DOOL look-of-death. #DAYS
Be careful challenging Julie, Rafe. I think she can take you. #DAYS
Ben, a serial killer, says he did the worst thing anyone can do. In Ciara's book Claire knoodling on the couch naked with Tripp may just top that. #DAYS
Ben to Ciara: "I had to carry you… you're a little heavy." WHOA! That's worse than being with a serial killer. #DAYS
I've got a Grandfather Clock that is smaller than Brady's Rolex. #DAYS
Some of Ben's actions look like, as a cured homicidal maniac, he's having a relapse. #DAYS
Ben to Abby: "It's just the two of us." Not counting multiple personalities, that is. #DAYS
If you ask me, it looks like Ben coming back to the scene of the crime is just his first stop on his trip back to Looneyville. #DAYS
Victor hands out control of Bella like Bed Bath & Beyond hands out 20%-off coupons. #DAYS
Who says Xander has no compassion. Sonny threatens him and Xander doesn't mop the floor with Sonny. #DAYS
The miracle drug Marlena is going to test on Will looks like Mountain Dew. #DAYS
If you didn't recognize that first sequence as a dream you probably think Bobby Ewing is still dead. #DAYS
Victor: "Perception is reality." If that's the case, Salem must be about as far from perception as you can get. #DAYS
Jennifer, giving Eric an opening to jump to Nicole's defense may be a tactical error on your part. #DAYS
Claire rants about what Ciara does when she gets upset. Whatever could have upset her, Claire? #DAYS
Will opens the door and to his shock finds Ben standing there. Ben: "Could I borrow a necktie?" #DAYS
Tripp: "Ciara's in a really bad place right now." Right and that place is in a pile of debris on the road. #DAYS
Victor: "I want you to be CEO of Titan." Brady: "I'm done with you and with Titan." Well-played, Brady… even though it's everything you've been wanting. #DAYS
JJ + Theresa? It's possible he and Brady could pull of a "sister swap." #DAYS
JJ to Theresa: "You could stay at my place." What could go wrong… or right? #DAYS
Trip bounces from Ciara to Claire. Let's stop calling the place they live "The Loft" and start calling it "The Smorgasbord." #DAYS
Brady's foot → Theresa → Curb. Theresa kicks back. #DAYS
Claire throws herself at Tripp. Go ahead, buddy, then when Ciara finds out you can use the old, "We were on a break" excuse. #DAYS
Chloe... Eve... Theresa... Brady meets with his Hand-Me-Downs Club. *Living members only. #DAYS
Paul: "This drug may have brought you back to life but it erased your memories." If it hadn't brought him back to life his memories would have been erased anyway. #DAYS
Protip for serial killers: Just say "I'm sorry" and all is forgiven. #DAYS
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