Something Huge Packed Away In Your Pants
|Here is a recap of all the exciting action... uh, action... uh, here's what happened in Friday's "missing episode:"|
Sami wants to know what's going on, but EJ refuses to tell her.
Arianna wonders what Rafe sees in Sami. Rafe tells her to butt out.
Brady advises Mia not to tell Will about her pregnancy or about Nicole having her baby.
Mia tells Will she is an addict, but lied about going to meetings regularly.
Owen discovers Stephanie's earring is missing and worries about getting caught.
Daniel discovers Phillip lying unconscious. Phillip refuses to go to the hospital.
Arianna and Brady get their relationship off on the wrong foot.
Rafe tells Sami if she won't go to the cops about EJ, he will. Sami stops him with a kiss.
Sami and Rafe share a meal. The main course is each other. They decide not to argue any more. If you believe that I'd like to give you the opportunity to purchase the Salem Bridge...
Phillip calls for Carlo. Carlo runs up and Phillip says he wants to know where Stephanie is. Carlo goes to search as Phillip makes a call.
Owen's cell phone rings. He sees the strange number on the caller-ID and wonders who is calling. EJ rants and screams when Owen doesn't pick up. EJ gives up on the call and sends a text message instead.
Victor flashes back to putting the hurt on EJ, "It's the end of an era. The DiMera era."
Phillip calls Owen, "I was wondering if you know where Stephanie is. I always call my gardener to find out where my girlfriends are." Owen hitches. Phillip asks, "Owen... are you there?" Stephanie stirs.
Brady is on the phone outside the pub being nasty-nasty-nasty to a potential business associate. He tells the guy – Charles – Victor is no longer "hands on" at Titan. Arianna overhears as Brady bawls out Charles for being such a doof. He hangs up. He and Arianna share nervous chuckles. She tells him he left his credit card behind, and she is soooooo impressed that it's a Black Card. Brady just figured he got a black one because of his name. He informs her it's a corporate card. Arianna tells him he's cute and Brady is confused that she's complimenting him. He wonders if she did that because he has a black credit card.
Owen stammers and tells Phillip he doesn't know where Stephanie is. Stephanie moans. Phillip scowls.
Owen rolls Stephanie back into her drawer and tells Phillip to rest easy. Owen remembers hearing them argue and wonders if Stephanie just took off.
Nicole comes into the rumpus room as we hear Johnny screaming through the baby monitor. EJ rages and demands she stop the kid from screaming. Nicole turns off the baby monitor.
"Oh," says EJ, "I never thought of that." EJ calms down. Nicole wishes she could do more to help. EJ hugs her and thanks her for being patient. Nicole sees the broken phone on his desk and asks asks what happened to it. EJ 'splains that Sami is what happened to it.
Meanwhile, something else is happening to Sami. She and Rafe devour each other on the couch. He slowly lays her back. Suddenly Sami screeches and reaches behind her. She pulls out a toy dinosaur with scales the size of dinner plates. That crisis taken care of, Rafe is ready to get back to business, but Sami stops him cold and wonders, "What if Grace wakes up and cries?"
Rafe thinks she is having second thoughts. Little does he know Sami has trouble with any thoughts, let alone second thoughts. Reluctant Rafe says, "If you don't want to do this..."
Oh, Sami does, "I really do. You mean a lot to me and I'm scared you will come to your senses and ask yourself what you are doing with a chic with baggage."
"Don't worry," says Rafe, "A couple more trips to the gym and you'll work it off."
Victor has the nurse administer insulin to Stefano. He tants him, "It's finished."
Arianna tells Brady, "I don't give a damn about your money or your looks. I don't care if you have something huge packed away in your pants."
Brady can't believe what he just heard, "WHAT?"
"Oh, for God's sake," gasps Arianna, "I wasn't talking about THAT! I was talking about something huge. I was talking about the checkbook you have tucked away in your pocket."
"Are you sure," asks Brady, "because whenever the ratings really take a dip the writers have been known to get desperate enough to stoop to juvenile sexual innuendo."
"In that case," says Arianna, "DOOL must be in last place and sinking."
Sami pants, "It's just that I'm not good at relationships."
And the Emmy for the understatement of the year goes to...
Rafe tells her there is no place he would rather be. He doesn't think Sami seems very happy, though. Sami says she just wishes things were simpler, "A simple brain like mine can absorb simple things." They get back to some heavy-duty business.
Sami gets up and goes to check on Grace. Rafe waits.
Carlo tells Phillip he checked around and couldn't find Stephanie. Phillip sends him to her room to check to see if her things are still there.
Back in the morgue, Stephanie stirs. Owen gets another call.
EJ paces and rants because Owen isn't picking up. Nicole asks, "This operative doesn't recognize your phone number?"
"He's not the sharpest tool in the box," says EJ.
Owen finally answers, "How do I know this is you?"
EJ holds the phone up to the mirror. Owen asks, "Now that I have her, what do you want me to do with her..." He listens as EJ gives instructions, "Not a problem."
Stephanie wakes and whimpers.
Sami comes out and finds Rafe gone.
Phillip calls and leaves a message telling Stephanie he's sorry about the fight. He blames the pain meds for making him crazy. He must've been taking pain meds for a long time. Especially when he married Belle. He mumbles, "I love you. Call me. Let's do lunch."
Stephanie whimpers, "Where am I?" Her phone buzzes.
Carlo tells Phillip all of Stephanie's things are in her room, but her engagement ring is not there.
Phillip asks, "What about her Hello Kitty collection?"
"It's up there," says Carlo.
"She wouldn't go anywhere without that," says Phillip.
Stephanie lies in her drawer and cries, "Phillip!" She goes for her phone.
EJ instructs Owen. He says he doesn't want to know where Stephanie is, "Don't do anything until you hear from me."
Stephanie dials her phone as Owen the wimpy thug opens the door and apologizes for keeping her on ice, "I had no choice." He grabs her phone as she frantically continues to dial, "I can't let you make that call." That'll teach her to get Phillip on speed dial. Owen says, "Nobody even knows you are here. If they find out, we are both dead." "That wouldn't be a really big problem," says Stephanie, "There is an empty drawer right beside me."
Sami twiddles the toy dinosaur with Bowie Knives running down its back and remembers Rafe telling her they don't belong together. She broods as Rafe tickles her face with a rose. Sami looks up and smiles at him as he picks her up and carries her into the bedroom. Sami protests, "Can we actually do it in a bedroom?" We pan to a bouquet of roses sitting on a table.
Rafe gently puts Sami onto the bed. Candles glow around the room. Sami says she thought he left. Rafe asks Sami, "What do I have to do to convince you I'm not going anywhere?" He moves in and convinces her.
Arianna insists she isn't hitting on Brady. Brady reminds her, "You called me cute."
"Now," says Arianna, "I'm calling you butthead."
Sidney Poitier whispers into Brady's ear, "Tell her, 'They call me MISTER Butthead.'"
Brady wonders why she inquired about his marital status earlier. Arianna doesn't exactly remember doing that. Brady reminds her, "You said my wife was a lucky lady."
"That's because I heard you are divorced. That makes her really lucky." Arianna wonders if Brady always thinks polite chitchat is a come-on. Brady admits he's rusty at the dating game, "Actually, I'm flirting with you. And I think you're cute, too." Arianna walks off. Next time, Brady, read the Guy Manual first.
As Brady watches Arianna ride into the sunset, Phillip walks up and asks, "Have you seen Stephanie?"
"Many times," says the ever-helpful Brady. Brady decides Phillip doesn't look well, "Did something happen to Stephanie?"
Phillip says, "Nothing could have happened to Stephanie with all those guards at the house."
EJ gets a call from Victor. Victor tells him Stefano is awake and alert, "But we're fresh out of insulin. So, do you have all the documents signed or is your father going to die tonight?"
"Where am I," asks Stephanie. Owen the reluctant creep says he is sorry about the accommodations. Stephanie whines, "You kidnapped me."
"How long did it take you to figure that out," asks Owen.
Stephanie looks around, "This place is a morgue!"
"You're a lot smarter than I thought you would be," says Owen, "So look at it on the bright side it's a morgue, but you're not dead. They made me do this." He promises if she does what he says things will be OK. He takes her picture with his phone.
Brady asks what's going on and wants to know if something happened to Stephanie. Phillip tells him to butt out. Brady tells him he's been keeping Titan afloat while Phillip and Victor have been plotting dastardly things. Phillip snorts, "So what are you, a Brady, a DiMera or a Kiriakis?"
Brady decides he's actually a Brady and from now on will be known as Brady Brady. Phillip tells him to get out. Brady leaves.
EJ tells Victor he will hear from him shortly. Victor wants to know if EJ has any last words for his father.
That lovable goon Owen swears he would never hurt Stephanie. He takes another picture as Stephanie bawls.
EJ gets off the phone as Nicole comes in and announces Johnny is back asleep, "I read him Goodnight Moon ten times but that didn't work. So I read him the script to this DOOL episode and that put him away." EJ tells her somebody's eyes are about to get opened in a big way, and then he leaves.
Sami... Rafe... champagne... body parts.
The Sami-Rafe show's over. If there ever was Safe sex, that was it. Rafe remembers first meeting her at the safehouse, "You were always trotting out the tears." Sami reminds him he wasn't a ball of charm either. Insecure Sami thinks she doesn't deserve this. Rafe thinks she deserves more, "You are all I ever wanted."
Sami turns on the waterworks.
Phillip is at the docks with Carlo. He talks to Max on the phone and decides Stephanie is visiting her parents. EJ and his bodyguard show up.
Owen thanks Stephanie for lending him her phone, "I'm not used to doing this sort of thing. Are you OK?" Stephanie nods and sobs. Owen turns around and works with the phone. Stephanie turns and surveys the tray of sharp implements Owen has left at her disposal.
EJ and Phillip trade barbs. EJ wonders what Phillip thinks about Stefano's situation. Phillip don' know nothin'. EJ tells him Victor is holding Stefano hostage, "He's not going to win and neither will you."
"I know that," says Phillip, "If you live in Salem, you're a loser."
Stephanie sits up with scissors poised as Owen mindlessly tinkers with the phone.
Brady pays at the Java Café. Arianna walks up and wants to know if she scared him away from the pub. Just when we thought it doesn't get any more lame than this, she spills coffee on him. Brady cries like a little girl.
So does Sami, "I'm so happy. I have never felt this way before in my life."
Out in the audience, the Lumis and the Ejamis pool their resources for the first time ever. They begin the most incredible lightning round of rationalization you've ever heard, "OK, she said she never felt this way before. But what she didn't say was (INSERT YOUR CHOICE: LUCAS/EJ) made her feel different, and that was BETTER. When she says she feels THIS WAY, maybe that dinosaur is still stuck in her back." Realizing it's hopeless, one of them yells, "Oh, hell, pass the kool aid."
Round 2 ensues.
EJ drops the bomb on Phillip, "I have Stephanie. What's it worth to you for me to keep her ?"
Victor asks Stefano how it feels to be the pawn instead of the king. Stefano says EJ will not play by Victor's rules, "If this were a game and I were a gambling man I'd put everything on my son."
Owen whirls, twirls and stops Stephanie, "What are you doing? I am your friend!" Friendly Owen wheels her into the drawer. Stephanie freaks out.
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