Friday, July 23, 2010

Barfing And Covered In Welts

We open with a closeup of Bo's machines, and then pan over to Bo. He snaps awake. Carly asks how he's feeling. "My throat hurts."

"Next time I'll give you an anesthetic before I perform the tracheotomy." She asks what he was gong to tell her, but he doesn't remember.

Phillip is at the dock. He calls Melanie and tells her to be ready to go somewhere. She wants to know what's up with the secrecy, but Phillip ends the call.

Melanie scowls at the phone as Nathan shows up. He tells her he's there to pick some stuff up, "I'm moving in with Stephanie."

.Hope sleeps. Hope wakes. She looks at her phone and sees Carly called.

Carly asks, "Do you remember who did this to you?" Bo stares.

Stefano sits in the rumpus room and reads Madeline's obituary in the newspaper. Kate comes in. Stefano mumbles, "As ye sew, so shall ye reap." He tells Kate he's sorry Madeline died, but not sorry their secret died with her. Kate thinks everything will be fine.

Will finds Chad at the pub, "If you want I'll get the hell out of here." Chad don' wan' that. Will blames himself for Madeline's death.

Victor finds Maggie in the waiting area. He tells her Bo is doing OK, but not ready for visitors. He thinks Maggie should think about herself and go home. Caroline comes in whining about the fact that Victor didn't call her. She gives Maggie a look that could kill, "I guess you decided three would be a crowd."

Bo can't remember what he wanted to tell Carly. Roman comes in and busts Bo's chops, "What you weren't getting enough attention?"

Bo busts back, "Hello to you too, bro." Roman tells Bo he scared the hell out of him. Bo asks what happened. Roman asks the last thing Bo remembers.

Hope comes downstairs and finds Justin. Hope is all happy-happy. Justin bursts her balloon, "Nobody told you? Bo is in the hospital. He was attacked."

Melanie reacts to Nathan's news, "You're moving in with Stephanie? Cool, that's great for both of you if she wakes up in the middle of the night barfing and covered in welts there would be a doctor there." She wishes them happiness. Nathan goes for the his stuff. Melanie gives him a parting shot, "I'd offer to help but you might say yes." But she's not bitter. Nossir. And apparently she also thinks she's not married.

Phillip arrives and Melanie gives him the news about Nathan and Stephanie. He drags her out for her big surprise.

Adrienne shows up at Stephanie's door. She says Patch called about Bo and they wound up talking about Stephanie, "He thinks you're too young to be living with some guy. He's decided to come back to Salem to talk to you in person." The mooing sound you hear is Stephanie having a cow.

Out in the audience, the one Payla fan remaining on the entire planet faints.

Adrienne lets us down after the big announcement, "I talked him out of it, though. I neutralized it." Stephanie breathes a huge sigh of relief and thanks her.

Victor tells Caroline it was Roman's decision not to call, "He didn't want to worry you."

KABLOOIE!

Caroline gives Victor both barrels and lectures him for not supporting her, "You have Maggie to get you though the night." She gives Maggie a glance. Maggie is frozen in position looking the other way, "See," says Caroline, "She can't even look at me."

"She doesn't want you to see her laughing," says Victor. Maggie gets up and tires to smooth things over, but Caroline stomps out. Maggie snorts, "I can't believe at this stage of the game two women think I'm the other woman."

"You're a dangerous dame," says Victor. Maggie tells him to chase after Caroline and make things right.

Bo remembers he was at Victor's. He doesn't remember texting Roman. Bo asks why he's in the hospital. Roman gives him the story, "The whole situation was really kind of a gas. Somebody called 911 anonymously. It was a close call. You were one stroke of a match from your last ride."

Bo asks, "What was I drugged with?"

"They don't know yet," says Roman. Bo and Roman mutually bash the ineffectiveness of the hospital lab. Carly steps in and lectures them for being "Starsky and Hutch" about the situation. Bo calms down and has her come over. She lies on top of him for a hug as Hope walks in. Roman runs like a scared jackrabbit.

Stephanie whines, "I just wish my dad could be happy I'm shacking up with a guy." Adrienne remembers when she and Justin got together and then figures that's a bad example.

Stefano thinks Kate didn't mean it when she said everything is all right. Kate flashes back to seeing the items from the safe deposit box, "It's just that there was so much stuff in that box, I might have missed something."

"You are thorough," says Stefano, "I think our problems with Madeline have been solved by divine intervention." He leaves.

Kate says, "You'd better brush up on your Shakespeare... the evil men do lives after them."

Will Shakespeare storms onto the set, "I want royalties!"

Chad says his mom had an aneurism, and no one is to blame for that. Will expresses his condolences and says he's sorry he opened his mouth.

Victor tells Caroline he should have called her, but hey patch things up. Hugs.

Lexie and Theo find Abe. She asks if hope is there. Theo pipes up, "Auntie Hope... that treasure."

Hope tells Bo, "In the most unprofessional move ever, Roman put me on your case."

"You've been on my case ever since the day we met," says Bo.

Hope says she has to question Bo. Carly leaves. Hope lights a match.

Kate finds Charles at the pub and tells him she's sorry about Madeline. Charles sneers, "Why don't you just go to hell?

Nathan comes into the kitchen and calls for Melanie. Silence... Empty room... He decides Melanie isn't there. His brilliance is exceeded only by his poor choice of women.

Phillip guides Melanie to the beach. Melanie opens her eyes and sees a couple of luxury beach chairs and a big picnic spread, "I love being rich. What's the occasion?" Phillip says they are celebrating and hands her an envelope.

Melanie opens it, "These look like my grades but they're not out yet."

Phillip asks, "Did you notice the new name of the new research hospital? I believe it started with a 'K' and that means I have a little pull."

Melanie is astonished, "I aced everything! Did you buy these grades?" Phillip assures her the grades are real. Melanie freaks, "This is so cool. I'm in the accelerated program and this means I could help deliver my little brother or sister."

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG FOR A SPECIAL REPORT! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES...

"My fellow Americans, I am here to announce that I have directed my staff to stop working on my healthcare initiative since the entire healthcare system in this country has obviously gone to hell."

Now, back to your regularly scheduled drivel...


Adrienne doesn't want to talk about Justin. So they talk about Justin. Adrienne says, "He's all wrapped up in Hope, although not as wrapped up in her as he'd like to be. He thinks I'm jealous, flaky and emotional. Sometimes he's right."

Carly gets the 'tox' report.

Lexie asks what kind of treasure Hope has. Abe wants to know if this is a game. Theo insists it's not. Lexie asks Theo to show her the treasure the next time he sees it.

Bo says he remembers being at Victor's, "After that it's just a series of images. I don't know if it's a dream." Carly comes in. "Make that a nightmare," says Bo.

Carly says, "Bo, you're lucky to be alive."

Phillip and Melanie share wine at the beach. Melanie asks what's for dessert. Phillip hauls out a tiny box and says, "This is it." She opens it to find a bracelet. It's a charm bracelet. She gets to put a new charm on it every time Phillip boinks Chloe. "You're the greatest thing that's happened to me since Chloe said yes and took off her clothes," says Phillip. They hug and Phillip flashes back to telling Chloe he will fulfill his obligation if the kid is his.

"I love you says," Melanie. Phillip stares.

Chad places flowers on the Madeline Peterson-Woods memorial step and grease spot. Will says a few words, a couple of which make sense.

Before Kate goes she asks Charles if Madeline was involved in a charity she can contribute to. Charles says, "I'd suggest a donation to the Salem Home For Retired Saggy Hookers." He also tells her he got into Madeline's safe deposit box to get her will and it was empty.

"Strange," says Kate. She leaves.

Carly says Bo was drugged with sleeping medication, DOOLesta. Bo flashes to a cup of coffee. Carly asks if he remembers something. "It's a blur," says Bo. Caroline and Victor come in. Caroline hugs him. Hope asks to talk to Carly outside. Bo assures Caroline he's fine.

Hope asks where Carly was last night. Carly thinks Hope is trying to pin things on her.

Abe and Lexie are at the beach with Theo. Lexie can't stop thinking about Bo. Abe tells her he put Hope on Bo's case. Lexie asks, Isn't that a bit unprofessional?"

"No," says Abe, "It's a whole lot unprofessional."


Hope says she knows Carly didn't do this to Bo, but is trying to pin down times. Hope gets a call and goes off to take it. Justin comes in. Hope tells him the smoke detector and fire alarm were disabled at the crime scene, "They didn't want the fire department showing up." The woman has a mind like a steel trap — rusty and illegal in 37 states.

"Someone got cold feet," says Justin.

Nathan comes into Stephanie's apartment with a load of boxes, "This is tough work. That first beer is gong to be amazing." Stephanie sends him to pick some up.

She starts to go through one of the boxes and finds a picture of...

NATHAN AND MELANIE!

Phillip heads into the pub. Melanie stays outside and makes a call. Phillip finds Adrienne. He tells her there is nothing new on Bo. Adrienne says Phillip owes her. "A neighbor saw you entering Daniel and Chloe's apartment the same day I saw you and she was going to call the cops."

Phillip thinks that's an overreaction. He takes a megaphone and points it toward the door as Melanie walks in, "I told you the reason I was in Daniel and Chloe's apartment."

Melanie asks, "What were you doing in my dad's house?"

Stephanie continues to unpack as Nathan comes in. Stephanie is peeved, but tells Nathan noting is wrong. She moves in and kisses him.

Phillip says Chloe was in the hospital and asked him to pick up a few things, "It wasn't that big of a deal. Especially compared to the time before when we had monkey sex."

Chad talks about Madeline doing things for him and wonders if she was paid for keeping secrets, "I need to know the truth."

Will asks, "How?"

"I'll talk to your grandmother."

Kate paces and sighs. She remembers her conversation with Charles. She pulls out a birth certificate, "It appears I have the only copy that would prove who Chad's father really is."

Stefano walks in, "What did you just say?"

A Prevuze tip: When you're alone, have some incriminating evidence, are are looking at it, and have an opinion to express, THINK it instead of SAYING IT OUT LOUD. Your life will be much less complicated.

Victor finds Maggie and offers to take her home. He tells her they are friends, "You're crazy about me."

"Not as crazy as you are about yourself," says Maggie.

Hope reports, "CSI* is still at our your house." Roman leaves to check out the situation there.

*Crappy Salem Investigators

As Roman leaves, Bo orders, "Get me a cheeseburger."

Roman refuses, "No."

"You're worthless," snorts Bo.

Hope thinks that exchange means Bo is feeling better. Bo asks if Hope is going to tell Ciara. Hope isn't, "I don't want her to know she almost lost her daddy. And that I almost lost you."

Will doesn't think it's a good idea for Chad to talk to Kate. Chad won't let it go.

Kate says Stefano startled her, "I was thinking about Chad. I just ran into his father. He told me he went to get into the safe deposit box and it was empty."

"That's good news," says Stefano, "Now we have nothing to worry about... Except for the fact that you are talking to yourself." He leaves.

Kate looks at the certificate, "I guess I am the only one who knows. No one else knows anything about it." Speaking of people who don't know anything, Lucas calls her.

Theo digs in the sand and finds a wallet. He runs over to Abe and Lexie, "Mommy! Wallet! Treasure! Auntie Hope! Ciara! Treasure!"

Abe asks, "Hope?"

Bo says he's sorry for what Hope is going through. She says she's sorry she wasn't there last night. He invites her closer and Hope walks over. "I am fine," says Bo.

"Whoever did this is still out there," says Hope.

"I have my best damned detective on the case," he says. And you're on it, too. Hope thinks they will get through this, "We're family. That's what families do."

Bo assures her, "We always will be a family." Carly watches.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


7 Comments:

Anonymous Leslie said...

He tells her he's there to pick some stuff up, "I'm moving in with Stephanie."

Why is Nathan picking up stuff at Maggie’s place? I thought he was living in Lucas’ crib. Along with Marlena’s townhouse, Lucas’ home is now part the growing problem of vacant dwellings in Salem. Will bank foreclosures be far behind?

Will blames himself for Madeline's death.

What? Did he wheel out the Tony DiMera memorial pallet?

She gives Maggie a look that could kill, "I guess you decided three would be a crowd."

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this DOOL’s first AARP triangle? Oh wait – I forgot Vivian so make that an AARP quadrangle.

He's decided to come back to Salem to talk to you in person." The mooing sound you hear is Stephanie having a cow.

Out in the audience, the one Payla fan remaining on the entire planet faints.

Since Stephen Nichols is employed by another soap, I hardly think daddy dearest will be returning to Salem anytime soon. However, it would be nice if Stephanie decided to take an extended leave of absence to be with her parents.

The whole situation was really kind of a gas.

…and the whole storyline is kind of a drag – The Buckinghams – 1967.

Kate says, "You'd better brush up on your Shakespeare... the evil men do lives after them."

Will Shakespeare storms onto the set, "I want royalties!"

I hope he gets his money because that will be the best line in the entire episode.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled drivel...

ROTFLMAO!!! Drivel and healthcare initiative – sounds about right!

Carly says Bo was drugged with sleeping medication, DOOLesta.

Accompanied by a beer, it puts me to sleep every time.

Abe tells her he put Hope on Bo's case. Lexie asks, Isn't that a bit unprofessional?"

"No," says Abe, "It's a whole lot unprofessional."

Since Rafe is on the Sydnapping case, there is a pandemic of unprofessionalism racing through Salem.

Super duper photo of Nathan Prevuze! LOL!!! TGIF and TGFP!!!!!!

6:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Melanie gives him a parting shot, 'I'd offer to help but you might say yes.' But she's not bitter. Nossir. And apparently she also thinks she's not married."...Melanie forgets little things like that, that's all. She's much like Phillip...when he's around Chloe he also forgets he's married. Perfect couple!

"You're a dangerous dame," says Victor...Ahhhh, the days when women went by "dame" and "toots"...Victor, you're aging yourself.

"Bo calms down and has her come over. She lies on top of him for a hug as Hope walks in. Roman runs like a scared jackrabbit."...OMG, I could feel the sweat drip off Roman's brow...Run, Roman, RUN!!! And why does Carly have to "lie on top of" Bo to give him a hug? Perhaps Hope shoud try to torch her next!

Will Shakespeare storms onto the set, "I want royalties!"...settle down Will...Shakespeare references are bound to be scarce on this show...collect your two bucks and go!

"You're the greatest thing that's happened to me since Chloe said yes and took off her clothes," says Phillip...should I go there??? I think not! This is a family blog after all...

"Bo assures her, 'We always will be a family.'"...oh, thank goodness! Beauregard got his brain cell back! You see, it's good to try to set your man on fire once in a while...it helps him think more clearly. The things we learn on this show. DOOL...the best family counselling show on TV!

Thanks Prevuze, the snark was especially good today!

6:15 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Stefano mumbles, "As ye sew, so shall ye reap."

Holy Toledo, Stefano. With everything you've "sewn" you will be reaping a heapin' helpin' of whup-ass then.

Out in the audience, the one Payla fan remaining on the entire planet faints.

Now, to be fair, Prevuze, there are plenty of Payla fans on the planet. I think you are talking about the one Payla fan that still watches DOOL. LOL

His brilliance is exceeded only by his poor choice of women.

Boy, truer words....

Here's my OFPS! moment for today. It even shouldered out the fact that Hope got put in charge of Bo's case and the fact the writers keep forgetting Abe is the Mayor, not the Police Commissioner or Police Chief and wouldn't be the one assigning detectives to a case.

Theo digs in the sand and finds a wallet.

How often have YOU found a wallet buried in the sand? And, how conveeeeenient was it that little Theo found it 5 minutes after talking about Auntie Hope's "treasures"?

I love Caroline's little fits of jealousy and Leslie's tag of an AARP quadrangle is spot on.

Also inspired was Nathan's forwarding address pic and Salem's version of CSI.

Last, but not least, it was an honor to finally see a snapshot of one of the DOOL writers. That's Pvt 1st Class Monk E. Shines if I'm not mistaken.

Keep up the good work, Private. You too, Prevuze and TGIP!!

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Re: the Prevuze tip about thinking before saying top secrets out loud. Prevuze, Prevuze. They couldn't do away with this tired old ploy because nobody would then be able to walk in behind them and either ask "What did you say?" or declare "I know what you (did! have! are!, etc.) Without those tried and true DOOLisms the monkey would have to try to come up with something new. I'm afraid that's just too much to ask.

I'm wondering if Stefano actually said "Except for the fact that you are talking to yourself" or was that an unitalicized Prevuism?

Lemme get this straight, too. Isn't this just the next morning since Madeline took her swan dive off the stairs? And Charles is roaming the safe deposit box for her will? He must've been standing at the door of the bank when it opened. Guess he's expecting her to leave him some big bucks. But geez, have they even carted her off to the Salem Funeral Home yet?

LOL over the monkey and "I'd suggest a donation to the Salem Home For Retired Saggy Hookers." Great TGIF Prevuze today. Thanks! :D

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Maggie Mae said...

Someone correct me if I am wrong, but if a mother doesn't want anyone to know who fathered their baby why would they put their name on the birth certificate and wouldn't the father have to sign said certificate?

I think the AARP quadrangle is the best "romance" happening in Salem outside of the EJami non romance.

Great snark on a not so great episode.

9:54 AM  
Anonymous I Challenge You To A DOOL said...

I. Love. The Monkey photo. LOVE IT! You get an "A", Prevuze!

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maggie Mae, I don't know about 18 years ago, but 8 and 3 years ago, when I had my kids, you did not have to have the father sign the birth certificate, only the mother. I am not sure if you can leave the "father" space blank.

The mother can put anything she wants there, but if she wants child support, she has to have a dna test done.

I would put my husband's name, or whomever I wanted people to think was the father.

6:33 PM  

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