Monday, July 19, 2010

The Long-Suffering Jilted Wife

We pan through the living room of Bo and Hope's house. Hopeless comes in. She starts to leave and opens the door to find Bo. He asks what she's doing there.

Daniel grills Chloe. "I've changed my mind," says Chloe, "from a molecule to an atom." Daniel doesn't buy it. He wants the real reason.

Lexie asks Chad and Charles to sit down. She breaks the devastating news about Madeline's death as Kate and Stefano watch. Chad can't accept it. Charles disowns him on the spot, "You killed her!"

Hope says Ciara asked her to pick up a video game. Bo asks if she found it. Hope says no. Bo walks over to a table, finds the game sitting there in plain sight and hands it to her. Hopeless plays it cool, "Hang in there, Beauregard, I have to go."

Bo stops her, "Somethin's wrong here."

"Like what," asks Hopeless.

Bo asks, "Like... where is Hope, and what have you done with her?"

Stephanie sits at a table and twiddles her new bracelet as Nathan meets her at the pub. "This bracelet looks different in artificial light," says Stephanie who is easily distracted by shiny objects.

"That's because the artificial light really makes the artificial jewels sparkle," says Nathan, "We need to have a serious talk."

Stephanie asks, "A serious conversation — doesn't that take intelligent people?"

Melanie stares at a bag of chocolate and gorges on a bit of product placement. At least the writers have gotten the message and this is much more subtle. Good for them. Hats off to the writers for finally getting a clue. Phillip walks in and asks what she has. Melanie shows him the bag of Hershel’s Bite Size Dog Turds and shoves one down his throat. Oh, man, I spoke too soon. The Neanderthals who write DOOL wouldn't know subtle if it walked in and subtly smashed them in the head with a two-by-four.* The very unsubtle hucksterification of DOOL continues for several minutes as Melanie and Phillip extol the wondrousness of eating what for all the world looks like what you throw out in the cat's litter.

*Apologies to Neanderthals everywhere.

Melanie asks, "Should we give some to Chloe?"

"What do you mean by that," asks Phillip.

"She's pregnant and craves different things."

"This crud is different all right," says Phillip, "But I think Chloe is pregnant because she craved something else, if you catch my drift." Melanie wants to be honest. Phillip wants to stare.

Daniel wants to know why Chloe suddenly has this bug up her... uh... ear... that she doesn't want to get married. Chloe whinifies, "Father Matt can't marry us because he thinks I'm a bad person."

"Let's welcome him to the club," says Dan.

"I've done things he can't accept," says Chloe.

Hope says she's the same person she's always been. Bo says he was trying to be humorous and it didn't seem to work out, "I promise I'll keep my day job."

"The question isn't whether you'll keep it," says Hope, "The question is whether you'll actually go to it." Bo says she does seem different, though. "You're right," says Hopeless, "I am different, but there is a good reason."

Stephanie says she understands, as she assumes Nathan has changed his mind about moving in. Nathan shuts her up. Humanity thanks him. He says he's in love, but just wants to make sure this big step is what she wants. Stephanie wants — Because she loves him. That does it. A smoochie seals the deal.

Chad insists it was an accident. Charles runs off the rails. Lexie butts in to explain. Charles explodes, "I don't need some half-assed explanation."

Stefano steps, "You can't call what my daughter says 'half-assed.' If she says it, it's as 'full-assed' as it can be." Kate pulls him away. Charles wonders why Stefano and Kate are even there. He turns and shuts Chad up again.

Chad begs him to be reasonable, "She was my mom."

"That's right," says Charles, "Your mother. Who worried about you. But you never thought about her you selfish little bastard. When I look at you I see her killer."

"No," whines Chad, "Come on, I love you, I need you to..."

Charles cuts him off, "I don't give a damn what you need. Get out of my sight." He turns away.

Hopeless tells Bo she's working undercover and that's why she's dressed that way. Bo says, "I'm not talking just about your look. It's your demeanor."

"That's because I'm one of demeanest people in Salem," says Hopeless, "I think maybe it's time to get everything out in the open."

Phillip tells Melanie they are lucky to get past what they did and get married, "If something happens down the road we'll get past that, too."

Melanie asks, "I can't think of anything that would happen, can you?"

Daniel presses. He wonders what Chloe has done. Chloe clarifies, "Just stuff. Father Matt is disappointed in me. He said I have issues I have to work through and I need to be in a better place. Right now, Timbuktu would definitely be a better place." Daniel doesn't buy it.

Hopeless insists nothing weird is going on except she's trying to get her life together again. Bo says the people who have talked to him about her have her best interests in mind. He's worried about her. Hope starts to go. Bo wants her to tell all.

Hope says, "OK. Maybe it's my temper... maybe I try to be loving, and maybe I can't play the long-suffering jilted wife 24-7. How do you think I feel with Carly sashaying around here like she won the lottery? I am a human being dealing with my life the best I can."

"My problem," says Bo, "is you're dealing with this like Hope never would."

"And just how would Hope deal with it," asks Hopeless.

"She'd smack me with her broom," says Bo.

Nathan smooches and leaves. Adrienne comes in. Stephanie beams and tells her she has big news, "Nathan and I are going to be living in sin! "

Melanie says she made a mistake tonight, "I got out of bed and that was so wrong, because my husband has needs and I like tending to those." Phil carries her upstairs for a little needs-therapy.

Chloe's sanity has left the building, "Are you saying I'm lying?"

"No," says Daniel, "I'm saying your wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead. We need to go talk to Father Matt." Chloe blows up and tells him to call Father Matt and say it's OK to him the big secret. She sticks the phone in his face.

Kate suggests leaving. Stefano says Charles was wrong to treat his son like that, "I know what it is to lose a son, in the exact same spot as he lost his wife." They leave.

Chad tells Charles he loved Madeline, too and says Charles can't cut him off. Charles cuts him off, "Why did you shove her down the stairs."

"Because she was too heavy to throw."

Lexie steps in and says Madeleine was under treatment for some weird thing, "She was living on borrowed time."

Prevuze throws a flag and penalizes the writers for a big, fat...


Bo insists he's not judging Hope, "This isn't about Carly and I won't apologize for her. To put this on Carly is beneath us. If we have a problem we should work it out face to face. We're not together any more, but that doesn't mean I still don't love you. We've shared most of the Days Of Our Lives together. I will always care and so will you."

Daniel grabs a chair, a whip and a gun and circles the enraged tiger. He tries to calm her down and tells her to forget the Father Matt thing, "If he has a problem with you he can take a hike. You are the one I want to talk to." Chloe apologizes for making him angry.

Daniel rants, "I'm not angry. I'm furious."

Chloe insists, "This will all be clear someday — when the baby needs a blood transfusion and only the father can give the blood." Hugs.

Lying about my age is easier now that I often forget what it is. -Vivian Alamain

Lexie says Madeline had a 'condition.' Charles thinks Lexie is talking about Madeline's hypertension. Lexie says Madeline had a history of developing aneurisms, "Many things can trigger them, like stress."

Charles won't let it go, "Or falling down a flight of stairs because your son is having a snit fit. I don't know why I am listening to you." Charles leaves to make arrangements.

Since she hasn't done enough damage, Lexie turns to Chad, "I'm so sorry."

"Thanks," he whines.

Hopeless says Bo is right. She agrees they have always had a connection. Bo says if Hope needs to talk to someone he can be that person. He asks if she wants to talk now. A call interrupts. Bo answers. He gets off and tells Hope Carly got called into surgery and will be there all night. He thinks that gives them a chance to talk. Hope likes that.

Adrienne is happy Stephanie did this without scheming to get Nathan to do it. She thinks Nathan came around because of Stephanie's open and honest love.

"Nathan does love me," Stephanie tries to convince herself, "That little Melanie girl is history."

That little Melanie girl walks into Maggie's kitchen wearing only one of Phillip's shirts. Nathan walks in. He averts his eyes when he sees she's half-exposed. He holds up the missing bowl and spoon and says he's there to return them. The two of them share an uncomfortable moment as Phillip walks in. Things get more uncomfortable.

Lexie says Madeline wouldn't have shown any signs of her condition before she died, "None that I could have picked up on, anyway. I just want you to know you're not responsible for her death. You're just responsible for everything that caused it." Lexie leaves.

Stefano comes up and tells him Madeline loved him. Chad don' wanna hear it. He walks off.

Kate joins Stefano and they agree Chad is hurting. "What a tragedy," says Stefano, "She was one of my best girls. The final curtain has come down on our relationship with Madeline." He leaves.

Kate drones, "The final curtain. I don't think so."

Hopeless asks Bo to make coffee. He goes into the kitchen to do that. Hopeless says to herself, "You thought you could make me weak. Stupid fool." She goes through her purse and finds her pills, "I might as well use these. Just enough. No more manipulations. Soon my job will be finished and so will you."

Adrienne says Nathan is fully aware of the statement he's making by moving in with Stephanie, "Let the happiness begin."

Kate asks Chad if he'll be all right. She suggests he should be with Charles. "Why," asks Chad, "So he can yell at me some more?"

"He's hurting too," says Kate, "He needs you, too."

Chad doesn't care, "Maybe I did kill her."

Daniel and Chloe are in bed. Daniel figures they should talk to a different priest, or call Kevin, who is a JP. Chloe says "We can't do that. Because I don't want to. Let's wait a month or so."

"You're pregnant," Daniel reminds her, "I think it's better we get married right away." Chloe refuses.

Bo serves coffee. He conveniently gets another call from Roman. Hope volunteers to serve the coffee while He's gone. Bo leaves. Hope makes her witch's brew.

Nathan tells Phillip he came back to return the bowl and spoon. "How did they come up missing in the first place," asks Phillip.

Nathan lays it out...

"Hey! diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the bowl ran away with the spoon."

Phillip invites Melanie to bed and leaves.

Melanie turns, "Goodnight Nathan."


Kate says a brain aneurism isn't caused by falling, "Charles isn't thinking clearly. Give him time. He's still your father."

Chad pouts, "He never acted like it." He walks off.

Kate asks, "I wonder why."

Daniel rants about Chloe's roller coaster of indecision. Chloe insists things will work out. Daniel asks, "If you want to get married, why not now? We could fly to Vegas. What are you so conflicted about?"

Chloe whinetifiicates, "Daniel... I wish I could explain but I just can't." Daniel leaves. Chloe bawls.

Hope mixes the concoction. Bo comes back and tells Hope he cares about her. Hope tells him not to worry but says she appreciates it, "How's your coffee?"

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Anonymous Leslie said...

Bo asks, "Like... where is Hope, and what have you done with her?"

Quit complaining Bo. Hopeless is a heck of lot more fun than Hope ever was.

Stephanie asks, "A serious conversation — doesn't that take intelligent people?"

That’s why there are no serious conversations in Salem.

Hershel’s Bite Size Dog Turds



LOL!!! I must admit the description of the product placement ad is rather reminiscent of the swimming pool scene in Caddy Shack. I also found that to be quite hysterical.

"I've done things he can't accept," says Chloe.

When you’re an unrepentant serial romper, clergy tend to find that sort of behavior a tad problematic.

"You're right," says Hopeless, "I am different, but there is a good reason."

Yeah, she’s going to a different hair stylist who has given her the Humpback of Notre Dame look.

Charles wonders why Stefano and Kate are even there.

It’s a hospital. Unfortunately, people die in hospitals so there is protocol in place for helping the aggrieved. Lexie should have found someplace private to tell the family that Madeline has passed away.

Charles cuts him off, "I don't give a damn what you need. Get out of my sight." He turns away.

Nice guy. Hmmmm – it was mighty convenient for Stefano and Kate to witness the death proclamation. Gee, I’ve got to wonder who Chad turns to for comfort. Any guesses?

How do you think I feel with Carly sashaying around here like she won the lottery?

Lottery? Bo? It’s more like Carly drew the short straw.

Phil carries her upstairs for a little needs-therapy.

Sounds like a pretty tricky maneuver for a guy with a peg leg.

Chad pouts, "He never acted like it." He walks off.

Kate asks, "I wonder why."

…because Stefano is Chad's father?!!!!!!!! BWAAAHAAAAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the Monday morning eye opener Prevuze. It's so much better than a cup of coffee served up by Hopeless.

5:56 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Sounds like a pretty tricky maneuver for a guy with a peg leg.

DANG! The writers just hate it when viewers remember little things like that.

6:23 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Charles won't let it go, "Or falling down a flight of stairs because your son is having a snit fit.

I’m with Charles on this one. It was an accident, and she may have had an aneurysm, but it was the fight with Chad and fall down the stairs that caused it to blow. And, BTW, a HISTORY of aneurysms? Just one of those suckers blowing can kill you. How could she have a history of them and her husband not know about it?

However, to be that cold toward Chad, who just lost his mother, Charles must know, or suspect, that the kid isn’t his biologically. And, as I read further, the writers with their usual, delightful ham-handed plotting, are certainly setting it up for that daddy to be Stefano.

Great pictures: Father Matt, the soul of discretion and what can you do to keep her away from me.

Great fashion critique: Leslie noting Hopeless's Humpback of Notre Dame look.

Great new word-smithing: whinetificate, demeanest and the aforementioned hucksterification.

Mystery, fashion, vocabulary lessona, moral platitudes, a little bare flesh, possible mayhem......just another great kickoff to Monday. Thanks, Prevuze!

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

I'm sorry about Madeline...I didn't know about her condition. I was only being humorous about her role on the show as a "call girl". I know what you were asking about her being a "bad whore"...of course someone you love is never bad in the eyes of the person who loves them. I didn't mean to be insensitive. And yes, please don't quit your day job!

And just how would Hope deal with it," asks Hopeless."She'd smack me with her broom," says Bo...LOL funny!!! So true...there are days when I could just do that! small as I am, I'm like a bomb ready to go off when I'm mad!

"He asks if she wants to talk now."...might be a good idea. She has "lots of stories to tell"... lived quite an "interesting" life. She's like a walking "soap opera"...

"How's your coffee?"'s great! I'm having a sip of it right now...:)

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

My HUH? moment today:Hopeless tells Bo she's working undercover and that's why she's dressed that way. Isn't Bo her boss? Wouldn't he know her assignments? (Which I thought was the muggings, not dressing like a hooker down on Salem Avenue.) Of course, as Prevuze noted he's never at the station so maybe he wouldn't know. HAHAHA

I must've missed how Nathan got the bowl and spoon and I don't really care. But I loved the old nursery rhyme.

LOL over "That's because the artificial light really makes the artificial jewels sparkle." Or maybe it makes the green ring it created on her wrist show up more.

Loved Vivian's quote and the apology to Neanderthals everywhere. Great Prevuze and pictures today. Thanks for helping us thru dreaded Monday.

8:16 AM  

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