Friday, July 16, 2010

Hell Inside A White PIcket Fence

Kate helps Stefano prepare to leave the hospital. Stefano's cranky. Kate insists everything is under control with Madeline. Stefano doesn't know if he should believe her.

Chad and Mad argue at the pier. Chad turns to stomp off and Madeline chases him as he climbs the stairs. She grabs at him and Chad turns and swipes her away. Madeline reels back and does a half-gainer with a twist off the steps and onto the concrete below.

SPLAT!

Chad rushes to the bottom of the stairs and checks her out, "Mom?"

Two bums are walking along the pier. They survey the scene and see Madeline sprawled out at the foot of the stairs. "Hey," says one of them, "Look at that. Free pizza!"

The other guy looks, "You're nuts. That's too flat to be a pizza."


Back at the beach it's showtime for all of us. Half nekkid Nathan and half... two-thirds... three quarters... 99% nekkid Stephanie frolic. Nathan hands her a little box. Stephaneasy asks, "What's this?" Whatever it is, it's bigger than what she's wearing.

Phillip arrives at Maggie's house and finds Melanie in the kitchen. They smooch hello. What are you up to," asks Phillip.

"I'm planning a baby shower for Chloe," says Melanie.

Phillip blows out one of the kitchen windows with his spit-take and has a massive stroke right on the spot, "NO! that's a bad idea!"

Daniel and Chloe try to figure baby names. "Perhaps we should go classic Greek," says Daniel, "How about Clytemnestra?"

"What does that mean," asks Chloe.

"Roughly translated," says Daniel, "It means 'my mother is a filthy cheating whore.'"


Chloe isn't sure she wants that name. Daniel has another suggestion, "How about Ichabod?"

"Why Ichabod," asks Chloe.

"Because it represents the fact that you threw your bod at Phillip and had icky sex with him."


Chloe gets upset and Daniel says he hopes she's not thinking there will be a problem, "I promise our child/bastard will be just fine."

Chloe wonders about Victor, "I can't imagine what he will think when he finds out I'm having a baby with his son."

Daniel corrects her, "You mean his godson."

Chloe says, "Mmmfoughtnmmf."

"What was that," asks Daniel, "I didn't quite catch it."

Chloe removes her foot from her moth so she can speak more clearly,
"You're right. I meant to say godson."

Roman stops by to see Bo. Bo greets him, "I'm worried about Hope. Somethin' strange is goin' on with her."

Hopeless is with Baker. He gasps, "You're going to kill Bo?"

"Right," says Hopeless, "Tonight."

Bo tells Roman what's been going on with Hope, "She's really acting strange. Have you noticed anything at work?"

"I don't notice anything anywhere," says Roman, "But you need to back off."

Baker tells Hopeless this isn't right. Hope says he doesn't get a say, "In fact, I don't either. It's in the stars. It's time for Bo to die." After a lifetime with Hope, Bo might think of that as putting him out of his misery.

Stephanie opens the box to find a bracelet. "This is so nice," she lies, "It's not a ring but I'll take it anyway." Nathan says it's to celebrate her promotion. Stephanie makes a face, "Yeah, more responsibility, no raise." Hug 'n kiss.

Phillip says he thinks it's too soon for a baby shower. Melanie tells him about the picnic she threw for Arianna and Brady, and also tells him her idea of getting them back together bombed. She says she left a bowl and serving spoon there and wants to go back to pick them up, "I'll be right back."

Chloe readjusts her misstatement, "Of course Victor isn't your dad. What was I thinking?" Chloe? Thinking? I guess there's a first time for everything. "Victor hates me so much I'm used to it by now. It doesn't bother me any more."

Daniel says it bothers him and decides it's time to go pick up their dinner order. He leaves. Chloe beats herself up, "OMG! Why did I say that? OMG! OMG! Please don't let that be true."

Baker blocks the door. He says he meant what he said before, "Something about you gets to me. When I'm with you I just..."

"Spit it out," barks Hopeless, "Are you in love with me?"

Baker gasps, "No! I hardly know you. You're out of your mind." Hopeless smirks. Baker backpedals, "Yeah. Maybe I am falling in love with you. There. OK? Imagine that. If that means anything to you will you please not do this?"

Stefano is upset Kate called Madeline. Kate swears to tell him immediately the next time something like that happens. Lexie busts into the room, "Is something wrong?"

"Yes," says Stefano, "You came in."

Chad cradles Madeline and begs her to be OK. Madeline choke, "I... lied... for you." We hear sirens in the background. I guess the two bums called for an ambulance while they were on their way to get a real pizza.

Phillip arrives at Chloe's place, "Did he buy our story?" Chloe tells him everything is fine. She tells him Daniel found out Vivian was behind all this and paid off the nurse and the hotel guy. Phillip is stunned, "She had you so freaked out. We never would have... I'm going to break that bitch's neck. If not for her we wouldn't be in this position."

Chloe thinks if Phillip attacks Vivian that will tip their hand. Phillip backs off and asks about the paternity test. She tells him Carly is setting it up, "There is nothing we can do right now."

"Except keep our mouths shut and keep calm," says Phillip.

"Yeah," says Chloe, "I wish instead there was something we could do that I'm good at." Phillip wonders if anyone else knows. Chloe tells him Father Matt knows, too.

Father Matt sits in the pub. Daniel comes in and finds him, "Just the person I wanted to see."

Hopeless says, "So you're head over heels."

"I wouldn't put it that way," says Baker.

"Are you taking it back?"

"What I am," says Dr. Dick, "is scared to death for me. I know it won't work out but can't help myself. But this thing..."

"Murder," says Hopeless, "It's not a thing... It's a murder."

"The police will catch you," he says, "If you want revenge I have another plan."

Roman advises Bo to let Hope live her life her own way. Bo thinks he's not getting through to him. Roman wonders if Bo is looking at things the right way. He says he has a roll call to get to and tells Bo to think about it. He leaves. Bo decides he won't turn his back on Hope and rushes out.

Baker recaps his plan, "So after we mug Bo I give him an injection to keep him out for three or four hours. Then we clean him out. And then we get out of Dodge. There are a lot of great places we can go, Monaco, St. Martin, Venice, Paris, the Salem pier... But we skip the killing part and just wipe him out."

"You're a breath of fresh air," says Hopeless, "No promises of eternal love, just wanting to make me happy. You don't lie about anything."

Baker asks, "Is that a yes?" Inquiring minds want to know...

Back at the beach, Nathan puts the bracelet on Stephanie. Now at least she's wearing something. Stephanie thinks this calls for more than a mere thank you. They put on a PDA that would make the editors of Penthouse blush. Melanie walks up as Nathan and Stephanie play Beach Blanket Bingo.

Chloe tells Phillip Father Matt is upset at her for lying to Daniel, "If he sees Daniel I'm in trouble. Thank God he's out of town."

Daniel asks Father Matt to do the wedding ceremony, "I mean, I know you can't do it yet what with the annulment problem..."

Father Matt drops the bomb, "Daniel, there is no annulment problem."

The paramedics wheel Madeline in. "I'll be darned," says Lexie, "I didn't know we ever served the patients pizza for lunch."

A nurse looks at Madeline, "You're nuts. That's too flat to be a pizza."

Chad comes in behind the gurney and freaks as Lexie goes into action. The nurse turns to Chad, "With Lexie on the case, you'd better call the funeral home to make arrangements."

Kate escorts Stefano out. They see Chad crying.

Melanie surveys the twisted mass of flesh writhing on the beach...

"YUCK!"

Stephanie squeals, "Are you stalking us?" Melanie tells her she came back to the beach to look for some things she left there. Stephanie is skeptical. Melanie lectures, "Next time you're climbing all over somebody you should probably get a room."

Stephanie snorts, "I can't believe we were once friends."

Phillip suggests they stay calm. 'Calm' is not in Chloe's bag o' tricks. Phillip apologizes for getting upset and starts to leave. Chloe thanks him for being such a great guy, "I'm glad we're still friends." Phillip is glad too. He leaves.

Daniel thinks he misunderstood. Father Matt tells him there is another reason he can't go through with the marriage, "Ask Chloe. I have to go." He leaves. Daniel stares.

Hopeless says she will think about Baker's offer. She asks him to get the rest of the things on the list just in case, "I know I can count on you."

Baker says, "We will talk again after I get the rest of that stuff." He leaves.

"Sweet guy," drones Hopeless, "He almost talked me out of this. I have work to do." She grabs the bags and leaves.

Kate asks Chad what's wrong. Chad tells her about the fall. Charles shows up. Chad tells him about the fight and Madeline's fall. Charles asks, "What were you fighting about?"

"I called her a whore and she thought she only qualified as a slut."

Melanie has left the beach, which, with Stephanie and Nathan being the only ones there, is back to being skin-city. Stephanie suggests going back to her place, "I have to come up with a 'roommate wanted' ad. Got any ideas?"

Nathan has ideas all right, "I might. Would you consider me?"

"My apartment isn't that great."

Nathan surveys the scenery, "It has a great view."

Melanie greets Phillip with a kiss as he returns to Maggie's. She squeaks, "I am so lucky to have you."

Daniel comes back to the apartment with the food and a 'tude. He says he saw Father Matt, "There wasn't an issue with the annulment. So why won't he marry us?"

Bo is at the Kiriakis mansion and asks for Hope. Henderson goes to look for her. Ciara comes in and they share a hug. Bo asks about the stories Ciara has been telling. Ciara insists they aren't stories and says she saw Hope hugging a man.

Bo asks, "Was that Justin?"

"No," says Ciara, "A different man. Mommy really gets around."

Hopeless arrives at Bo and Hope's house.

Ciara thinks her mommy might have been hugging the man who took her treasures. Henderson interrupts. Bo says they will talk about this tomorrow and sends Ciara to bed. Henderson says Hope isn't in the house. Bo stares.

Hopeless wanders through her house, "Home sweet home. A safe harbor. Yeah right. Hell inside a white picket fence. And the devil is my husband. Abandonment. Misery. Nothing to do but bring on destruction and death."

Chad flashes back to the argument he had with his mom. He tells Charles they weren't fighting about anything important. Charles doesn't buy it and wants to know what the fight was about. Lexie comes out with the look of doom on her face.

Stephanie asks, "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Nathan says Lucas is putting his house on the market, so he needs another place. Stephanie squeals, "YES!" They hug and celebrate.

Melanie and Phillip romp. Melanie says, "Someday we're going to make a baby this way."

"I already have a lot of experience at that," says Phillip.

Daniel says Father Matt said to ask her about the problem, "So let's talk."

Chloe says there isn't a problem any more, but she and Father Matt don't really see eye to eye any more like they used to. She says she decided she doesn't want Father Matt to be involved any more.

Daniel says, "Excuse me? You canceled the wedding plans and didn't tell me? What is really going on?"

Melanie says she thinks she has sprung the kid thing on Phillip a little prematurely. She backs off, "I want it to be just us for a while."

Phillip repeats, "Just us. Or did you say justice? "

Daniel presses. Chloe bobs and weaves. Chloe whines, "I just changed my mind, OK? I want a civil ceremony."

"We could have a civil ceremony if you were capable of being civil," says Daniel.

Morbid Lexie asks Charles and Chad to sit. Kate and Stefano stare.

Lexie's 'death speech' is one she's good at, since she has a worse survival record than the 'Salem Institute For Skydiving Without A Parachute.' She sits with Charles and Chad, "I am so sorry to have to tell you this. Mrs. Woods didn't survive her injuries. She's gone. I am so sorry." Chad cries.

Kate and Stefano high five, "PIZZA FOR EVERYBODY!"

Hope stands in her living room, "Now all I have to do is get those other things and create a little hell on earth." She swings the door open to leave...

BO!

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18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

DOOL SPOILER:

A new spoiler says that someone is soon to be buried alive. Guess who it is? It's Vivien. Which means either Carly, Daniel, or Victor would have to be the person who does it. She did bury Carly alive already years ago, so it could be retribution for what she did to her. Victor might have found out she involved Chloe in her plans to kill Carly and have her punished in the same manner as she dished out to Carly. Or Daniel could be so fed up with Viv's interences and plots with his three favorite women's lives that he does it by drugging her to appear like she appears to be dead. Carly could do that as well. Who cares enough about Vivien except maybe Gus to even mourn for her?

Maddie died from an aneurism bursting, so Chad is not guilty of making her fall.

5:12 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Two bums are walking along the pier. They survey the scene and see Madeline sprawled out at the foot of the stairs. "Hey," says one of them, "Look at that. Free pizza!"

The other guy looks, "You're nuts. That's too flat to be a pizza."

Somehow I don’t believe this is the viewer reaction that the writers were going for. Is it delivery, or is it DeGiorno?

Phillip says he thinks it's too soon for a baby shower.

Phillip is right. Since Chloe is in her first trimester, it’s waaaaaaaay too soon for a baby shower.

Baker gasps, "No! I hardly know you. You're out of your mind."

Dr. Baker is spot on with that diagnosis.

“If not for her we wouldn't be in this position."

Phillip forgot all about the raging hormones part.

Nathan says Lucas is putting his house on the market, so he needs another place.

Since the housing market sucks, it could take a long time for Lucas to sell the house. Stephaneasy should pack her bags and move in with Nathan.

“You canceled the wedding plans and didn't tell me? What is really going on?"

Daniel, here's what's going on. Since the writers have stock in Compazine, creating nausea inducing lengthly storylines pays dividends for them.

Kate and Stefano high five, "PIZZA FOR EVERYBODY!"

Make mine all veggie on a thin whole wheat crust. Thank goodness Prevuze came up with an interesting and snarky theme for this episode. Otherwise, it would have been incredibly painful. TGIF and TGFP!!!!!!!!

5:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's another reason it could be Victor who buries Viv alive. She is very jealous of Maggie. Maggie won't have anything to do with Victor as long as he is married to Viv either. He's sure to know Viv is nothing but a psychopath by now.

6:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Melanie is showing her young age by wanting to give Chloe a baby shower way before it is due, especially since it is a high-risk pregnancy. Chloe is still in her first trimester. Showers are not given until the last trimester.

6:21 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

I have a whole new category of reactions to the writing on this show. And, here’s my first OFPS* moment today:

"I'm planning a baby shower for Chloe," says Melanie.

They already have Melanie portrayed with the emotional maturity of an 5 year-old, at least they could give her the intelligence of one as well. (Apologies to 5 year olds everywhere). Chloe is barely preggers. There’s at least 6 months before anyone needs to worry about throwing a baby shower for her.

*Oh For Pete’s Sake

And here’s the second:

Chloe wonders about Victor, "I can't imagine what he will think when he finds out I'm having a baby with his son."

Pretty much see my previous comment about the intelligence of this character……and cut the IQ in half.

Nathan says it's to celebrate her promotion.

With the promotion does she also get a desk? So she doesn’t have to spend her days roaming the hospital halls, ogling residents? Just asking……

We hear sirens in the background. I guess the two bums called for an ambulance while they were on their way to get a real pizza.

Actually, the ambulance just drives around town, going to random places in the hopes of finding someone needing medical attention. That’s why they are never available when someone on the show is actually shown CALLING for an ambulance.

And, here’s a HUH?! moment:

Phillip arrives at Chloe's place.

Again with the showing up at Chlodan’s place?? Chloe knows how freaked Daniel got last time he walked in on the two of them in the apartment (just hours ago). Wouldn’t she tell Philip to take a hike the minute she opened the door? Tell him to call her if he wants to rehash this sorry storyline again.

And for OFPS #3:
Ciara thinks her mommy might have been hugging the man who took her treasures. Henderson interrupts. Bo says they will talk about this tomorrow and sends Ciara to bed.

I’d think Bo would take more than 30 seconds at this point to talk to his daughter. Get more information like, for instance, what the “treasures” were. JOP!**

**Jeez O Pete! OFSP’s brother.

LOL at the now at least she's wearing something. I guess some of the male viewers need to get thrown some gratuitous near-nekkedness too.

Salem's lakeside must have the smallest beach in the world. Everyone ends up on the same six square feet of sand. Although apparently only characters with contracts get to use it. No beach time for day players.

All you Prevuzites out there have a fabulous Friday. Maybe find your own patch of (oil-free) beach and chill out.

6:59 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Leslie, I got the same when I read the "Free pizza" comment...It might be delivery, but it's definitely thin crust with NO additional toppings!

A nurse looks at Madeline, "You're nuts. That's too flat to be a pizza."...I was thinking the same thing!!!

Kate and Stefano high five, "PIZZA FOR EVERYBODY!"...No thanks, I'll pass. I like mine cheezy crust with extra toppings!

Daniel and Chloe try to figure baby names. "Perhaps we should go classic Greek," says Daniel, "How about Clytemnestra?"...Geez, how would they shorten the name so that she doesn't get teased by all the boys in grade-school? At least some of us can go to a shorter version of a Greek name...well, I guess it's not that important...once boys reach puberty, all of a sudden they seem to get an appreciation for variant names...or maybe it wasn't the "name" they were interested in...hmmm...

"No promises of eternal love, just wanting to make me happy"...
yes, well...the last time I made such a promise, I ripped the guy's heart out and stomped it to the ground! I guess that wasn't the best approach to "eternal love"...one learns as they live...or is it the other way around... live and learn...yeah, that's it!

"I called her a whore and she thought she only qualified as a slut."...and not a "cheap" slut mind you, if she was working for Stefano!

"I just changed my mind, OK? I want a civil ceremony."...cause that would solve the problem of her cheating habits how??? Why don't they just elope to Vegas...they can have the marriage annulled the next day, once she tells him she's having a 50/50 Phillip/Daniel baby.

Thanks for the recap prevuze...so much snark today! Loved it!

7:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, this male viewer has a definitely a reason to tune in monday. Interesting that Lucas is selling the (nonexistent) house. I quess the show finally got some more money from NBC so Steph and Nathan will get a real home on their own. As for the promotion? Who wants to bet it has something with getting easier access to certain medical records? This is getting good.

7:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did Maddie fall down the same set of stairs that Tony fell down? Is anyone keeping count of the number of people who died after falling down the stairs? Ridiculous! my word verification is "really", as in "Seriously? Another death by stairs?"

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

99% nekkid Stephanie.. well, it must be so as Prevuze wouldn't exaggerate.

Roman stops by to see Bo. "I'm worried about Hope." When does Pard ever see Hope? It's not like she ever shows up at the station.

Hopeless wanders through her house, "Home sweet home. A safe harbor. Yeah right. Hell inside a white picket fence." Yeah, anytime you're in it.

I'm glad to see Lexie's patient survival rate is still intact. No wonder Stefano is leaving as soon as he can.

My zapper will get quite a workout with this one since it's set to automatically zip thru any Chloedan scenes.

LOL over the Barly picture. Thanks for getting us to Friday, Prevuze. Have a great weekend everyone. :D

7:47 AM  
Anonymous Gaseous Clay said...

I have to admit to some embarrassment, I'm fifty and I didn't know there were so many rules to planning a baby shower.

I don't know who's going to bury Viv alive but can't they leave the psycho alone and just drag the deadly dull, Rafe and Carly, and bury them, dead or alive I really don't care which?

Pretty Please?

Hey, my word verifiction is non-existent. No, really, there's nothing in the box.

Although that is tomorrow's show. Nothing on the box.

8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The writing is just ridiculous about the Phillip/Chloe affair. Take responsibility for your cheating ways and quit blaming Vivien. She did not hold a gun to your heads and tell you to have sex! The who's the baby daddy drama has been done so many times it is time to come up with some new stories.

9:08 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Two bums are walking along the pier. They survey the scene and see Madeline sprawled out at the foot of the stairs. "Hey," says one of them, "Look at that. Free pizza!"

The other guy looks, "You're nuts. That's too flat to be a pizza."

Somehow I don’t believe this is the viewer reaction that the writers were going for. Is it delivery, or is it DeGiorno?


Tombstone.


Kate and Stefano high five, "PIZZA FOR EVERYBODY!"...No thanks, I'll pass. I like mine cheezy crust with extra toppings!

I can't speak to the toppings, but the whole episode is pretty cheesy.

9:45 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

The following comment is for the male readers only.

In regard to...

LOL at the now at least she's wearing something. I guess some of the male viewers need to get thrown some gratuitous near-nekkedness too.

And...

Well, this male viewer has a definitely a reason to tune in monday.

And...

99% nekkid Stephanie.. well, it must be so as Prevuze wouldn't exaggerate.


You know that huge hi-def TV you've been wanting? This is the weekend to go out and buy it. With a blu-ray recorder.

Prevuze - Best public service blog on the Internet.®

9:55 AM  
Anonymous sbrLori said...

Tombstone pizza. LMAO!!

And Philip actually said, “If not for her we wouldn't be in this position." Uh no, Philly-boy, the reason you’re in this position is because you were in the “position”, y’know what I mean?

TGIF all!!

10:17 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

yeah, i have to take issue with philip blaming vivian, as well. from what i can recall, he caught melanie cheating on him(for real) and had revenge sex with chloe to get back at her. vivian had nothing to do with melanie sticking her tongue down nathan's throat-- but i guess philip should have realized that was just a 'goodbye' kiss.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If not for her we wouldn't be in this position."

If I remember correctly, Phil, it was multiple positions...

1:11 PM  
Blogger LeeLeigh said...

Applecheeks said: "They already have Melanie portrayed with the emotional maturity of an 5 year-old, at least they could give her the intelligence of one as well. (Apologies to 5 year olds everywhere). Chloe is barely preggers. There’s at least 6 months before anyone needs to worry about throwing a baby shower for her."

LeeLeigh says: any regular viewer of DOOL should know that it is okay to have a baby shower at 3 months. After all, this baby could be born tomorrow! (full-term!) or, DOOL could really be creative and have Chloe be pregnant for the full 12 months, instead of the usual 11.

oh no --- a rather horrible thought -- what if Chloe is pregnant with twins? one is Daniel's & one is Phillip's? Wow! what a great SL that would be.... puke puke puke.....

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tombstone

LMAO! That was great.

6:35 PM  

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