Wednesday, August 05, 2009

A Vindictive SOB

EJ sleeps. EJ wakes. He reaches for Nicole. No Nicole. He remembers the tombstone caper and obsesses over the fact that Sami kept Grace from him. He looks over at a picture of Sydney, Nicole and himself, "Precious Nicole, life is so much simpler with you than it was with Samantha."

Stefano finds Nicole in the rumpus room. He offers to give her a lift. He says he's off to make sure Raphael is leaving town, "So what are you up to?"

Sami walks into her living room and shouts back to Allie, "You have to eat your fruit first before you eat your cookie."

"Yeah," says Allie, "I've noticed how good you are at deferred gratification, too."

Sami tells Rafe she just can't believe how normal things are. She kisses normal Rafe.

Mia meets Will in the park and asks about his step mom and dad. Will don' wanna talk about it.

Stefano tells Nicole he did some digging and discovered about Emily and Rafe's engagement as well as Emily's death. Stefano thinks Rafe had something to do with the death. He tells Nicole about bringing Meredith to town, "Raphael Hernandez killed his fiancée and Meredith is going to explain everything to Samantha."

Stephanie sits alone at a table in the pub. She putters around with work papers and, in the process, spills her coffee. The brew immediately eats through the marble table top and hits the floor. "Next time I want a cup of coffee," thinks Stephanie, "I think I'll hit the Java Café."

Roman comes to the rescue. He puts the pot at her table aside, "I'll take this home with me. I'm cleaning my garage floor and ran out of muriatic acid." Oh-so-observant Roman wonders if she's upset, "It's Phillip isn't it?"

Nathan meets Melanie at the hospital. He invites her to coffee but she declines as Maggie watches.

Rafe tells Sami the boss called and he doesn't have to be at work for three hours. Pensive Sami asks, "Hmmm... What can we do in three hours? Clean the closets? Fix the garbage disposal? Scrabble?"

She has a better idea and moves in on Rafe. "I'm game," says Rafe, "But what do we do with the other two hours and fifty-five minutes?"

Things get serious, but one of the few methods of birth control in Salem interrupts. There is a knock at the door. Rafe answers to find Nicole. Nicole does a double-take, "What are you still doing here?"

Maggie butts in and tells Nathan Melanie seems unhappy with him, "I thought if we talked I could help make things a little worse." Melanie listens as Nathan tells Maggie about his date with Stephanie. He says he doesn't think it's time for a relationship right now, and can't figure out what Melanie is angry about. Dr. Clueless leaves and Maggie eyes Melanie.

Mia says, "I understand that you might not want to talk about your wacko family, but if you ever change your mind, I'm (say it with her) there for you."

Will comes clean and says his step mom was poisoned. He says he didn't tell her because Mommy Chloe's affair was embarrassing, "Why can't I have a normal family. Everything is so screwed up. If you're smart you'll stay away from me."

"In that case, I guess I'll be seeing a lot of you," says Mia.

Over at the gym, Chad works out as Kinzie comes in. Chad greets her, "Well, if it isn't the pom pom princess." She is sporting her teensy little workout outfit and wonders if it will be acceptable to Will. "If he doesn't like it," says Chad, "There is something wrong with him."

"I guess he'll really hate it then," says Kinzie.

EJ comes into the rumpus room. Stefano says he has to go see a visitor who is leaving town.

Rafe asks, "Where else would I be?"

"Work," says Nicole.

"Oh, yeah," says Lughead, "Work... I was there once." Nicole invites herself in and tells Sami EJ did something she won't be too happy about.

Wise ole Roman says, "Stephanie, I have been where you are and I know it hurts like hell."

Stephanie says, "I didn't realize Dr. Yanantwist was your dentist, too."

Maggie "The Big Buttinski" Horton talks to Melanie about Nathan, "You're pushing Nathan away because you don't think you're worthy of him."

"That's not true," says Melanie, "If I pushed everyone away I wasn't worthy of, I'd be living on my own planet."

Stefano arrives at Meredith's room with a rose to say a proper goodbye. Meredith thinks the visit to Salem gave her some closure. He asks about contacting Rafe's new girlfriend. Meredith says, "I made sure Samantha Brady will find out everything that Rafe ever did to Emily."


Nicole plays with Sydney. EJ asks where she was. She evades and says she ran errands. EJ presses as Nicole ignores him. EJ gets stern and demands to know where she was.

Sami stands at Grace's grave and blows her stack when she sees the new monument. Calm, collected, prozacarific Rafe tells her they will change it back. Sami has a meltdown, "He is a vindictive SOB and I am not going to let him get away with this." So the battle of the headstones begins. The irony is no matter how many times they change it, ultimately they will have to change it to something else when the big reveal hits town. Of course, we'll all be in a retirement home by then.

Mia tries to comfort Will. Will takes her hand.

Kinzie tells Chad she wants to hook up with Will and then dump him quickly, "He's not exactly a laugh a minute."

"He's not exactly a laugh a millennium," corrects Chad.

Meredith tells Stefano she didn't tell Sami in person, but wrote her a letter instead. She says she sent it by messenger.

The letter slides under Sami's door.

Nicole tells EJ she was shopping for Sydney. EJ scowls, "I feel that you're withholding something from me."

Nicole says, "If you don't get off my case, I'll be withholding something in the bedroom, too."

EJ wants Nicole to let her insecurities go, "I love you, I adore you, I cherish you." They kiss but the doorbell rings. EJ opens it and finds Sami "Bombs Away" Brady standing there with Rafe "What the hell is a personality" Hernandez.

Maggie thinks Melanie feels her life isn't exciting unless there is a bad boy a part of it. She says she has to break that pattern of thinking, "Find the guy who will love you the way you deserve to be loved."

"Where do you find a guy that mean," asks Melanie.

Will comes into the gym. He finds Kinzie and says she sounded upset when she called him. She tells him her parents are getting divorced. Chad watches as the spider works the fly. Kinzie says she knows Will's parents are about as faithful and stable as teenage minks at an orgy, so she asks for advice on how to handle the breakup.

Chad goes over to Mia and chats her up. He points out that Will is kind of busy at the moment.

Melanie meets Nathan in the park. She tries to mend things with him, "That guy who asked me out... I didn't turn him down because I didn't like him, but because I thought he wouldn't like me once he really got to know me." She asks him to hang out. Nathan stares.

Sami blows a gasket. Nicole comes out to referee. EJ asks how Sami found out, "Who told you?" Nicole sweats.

Nathan tells Melanie he doesn't have time to play games. Melanie turns on the groveling afterburners. Nate tells her his focus right now is his career. He says he doesn't have time for distractions. Melanie whines, "Is that what I am to you? A distraction."

"More like an annoying gadfly," says Nathan.

Kinzie whines about her parents supposed breakup. Will says he doesn't know why she's confiding since they aren't friends. Kinzie says she wants to be and asks him to coffee, as Mia watches. Stephanie phones Will, "Go to the Java Café, not the pub!"

Will turns Kinzie down and suggests counseling. Kinzie leaves and T-Boy comes up and asks about his relationship with her. Will denies everything and T-man busts his chops.

Sami says no one told her. She says she found out when she was visiting the grave. EJ says he didn't need permission to change the headstone since Grace was his daughter. Strong, silent-type Rafe steps in and reminds him he has a living daughter who needs a little attention from him. That showed EJ, didn't it? Meanwhile, neglected Allie builds toxic-waste castles down by the Salem Tar Pits.

Roman advises and tries to comfort the Stepharoo. She tells him she has her eye on a new guy but they went to the concert just as friends. Stephanie heads for work and Roman heads over to the Lonely Bachelor's Club.

Dejected, rejected Melanie tells Nathan dinner would have been fun and says she'll see him at the hospital.

The T-Man gives Will the lowdown on Kinzie, "This guy PJ said he and Kinzie did everything and they were only together for two weeks!"

"He ain't got nothin' on me," says Will, "Keep this under your hat, but Mia and I just..." Will takes it to a whisper, "held hands. Without protection."

Will scoots over to Mia. T-man leaves. Will asks if Mia heard the T-Man talking. Mia says she did and asks, "What if Kinzie did those things with the guy because she loved him?"

"Then," says Will, "That would make her a cheap slut in love."

Sami and EJ crank it up and go at each other. Sami turns and advises Nicole to take her daughter and run. Rafe threatens EJ, "If you don't back off, I'm going to lock us in a room together and bore you to death!" The music swells as Nicole frets.

Stephanie leaves a message for Nathan thanking him for last night and hoping they can do it again sometime.

Nathan catches up with Melanie. He says he thinks they should give dinner another shot. Melanie accepts.

Naïve Will wonders what Mia is talking about. Mia says just because a girl sleeps with a guy doesn't mean she's easy. Will asks, "Are you defending Kinzie."

"I'm not talking about Kinzie," says Mia, "I'm talking about me." Clueless Will still doesn't get it. Mia practically has to draw him a picture, "I'm not a virgin, Will."

"If you were," says Will, "You'd be the last one in Salem."

Stefano tells Nicole the deed is done, "Fait accompli!" He suggests a celebration. Nicole joins EJ in the rumpus room. He says he's sorry Nicole had to see Sami's wrath. Nicole says she doesn't blame Sami for being furious. EJ nukes and says he's going to make sure Sami gets what's coming to her.

Sami gets home and finds the letter. She opens it and looks it over.

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9 Comments:

Blogger Klaus said...

Yay! Computer issues! Anyhoo.

He says he doesn't think it's time for a relationship right now...
Then the correct action to take is stop going on dates.

Chad works out as Kinzie...
Hot damn! I still love those names. I need a 'Blake' for the Holy Triumvirate.

Will says he doesn't know why she's confiding since they aren't friends.
Oh, a logical comment! How rare!

Dejected, rejected Melanie
I, for one, am disliking the 'deshallowfication' on Melanie. Why have her care in the first place? I suppose Melanie is gaining her halo, like Chelsea, Max and Stephanie before her.

The T-Man gives Will the lowdown on Kinzie, "This guy PJ said he and Kinzie did everything and they were only together for two weeks!"
I'm also disliking the implication that Kinzie (and Mia) is a slut because she happens to be female. I mean, you don't see people implying that about Dr. Dan. But that's a whole 'nother issue.

He says he thinks they should give dinner another shot.
He folded that quickly? lol

He says he's sorry Nicole had to see Sami's wrath.
Hmm... It's not like Nicole hasn't seen it before. She's not Mother Theresa either.

4:26 AM  
Anonymous Berg said...

I actually (Skipping past all Mia/Nathan storylines here) thought the show looked pretty good today. I may even GASP! Watch it!

Second time in a year. Boy DOOL is really keeping viewership down.

If I had a dime for everytime Sami blows a gasket....I mean did she really expect EJ to not get mad that his name (as the father) isn't even on the tombstone? Thanks Leslie for pointing out to me that it makes sense EJ could slip into the graveyard and put in a new tombstone with it not being that far fetched.

I can't wait for Vivian to come back. I hope she mixes things up a bit and save us all from these humdrum episodes (like Monday)

4:29 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

"You have to eat your fruit first before you eat your cookie."

"Yeah," says Allie, "I've noticed how good you are at deferred gratification, too."

…just a simple case of “do as I say not as I do”.

Oh, so observant Roman wonders if she's upset, "It's Phillip isn't it?"

Too bad he doesn’t use the same powers of observation to solve a few crimes in Salem.

She has a better idea and moves in on Rafe. "I'm game," says Rafe, "But what do we do with the other two hours and fifty-five minutes?"

Sounds like Rafe is a “slam, bam, thank you ma’am” type of guy.

Calm, collected, prozacarific Rafe tells her they will change it back.

Prozacarific adj. – lacking neurotransmitters and/or any brain function resulting in a terminally boring personality most notably embodied by Rafe Hernandez featured in the American soap opera DOOL and the malady is also present in the common tree stump

EJ opens it and finds Sami "Bombs Away" Brady standing there with Rafe "What the hell is a personality" Hernandez.

Very excellent Prevuze! The upside is that it is impossible for Rafe to have any personality disorders.

"Find the guy who will love you the way you deserve to be loved."

"Where do you find a guy that mean," asks Melanie.

You could start with Michael Vick.

Strong, silent-type Rafe steps in and reminds him he has a living daughter who needs a little attention from him. That showed EJ, didn't it? Meanwhile, neglected Allie builds toxic-waste castles down by the Salem Tar Pits.

When it comes to dealing with EJ, Rafe invariably pulls the Nicole/Sydney card for a snappy retort, and it works every time. Yeah right! What was the point in Nicole going to Sami about the headstone? Sami most certainly is still visiting Grace’s grave regularly so she would have found out for herself sooner rather than later.

I really enjoyed the inspired censored link, and the Mazola was a nice touch! Thanks for another stellar h@@p day update Prevuze!!!

5:33 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Things get serious, but one of the few methods of birth control in Salem interrupts. There’s a knock at the door

I thought it was going to be one of the kids. Isn’t Allie just in the kitchen finishing up fruit & cookies? Does Sami have her tied down in there? And, BTW, cookies for breakfast?

“Oh, yeah," says Lughead, "Work... I was there once."

Like just about every other working stiff in Salem. lolol

My ROFLMAO moment today: Rafe "What the hell is a personality" Hernandez.

Except for the Sami "Bombs Away" Brady scenes, this looks like a total prozacarific episode to me. I doff my hat to Prevuze and all the inspired pictures and prevuisms for at least keeping me awake through the recap!

6:36 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

the Mazola was a nice touch!

It's really messy, though and it spoils the taste of the whipped... uh... never mind.

6:47 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

As usual, a couple of things I need clarified.

First, what's the attraction with Nathan? Bland Nathan paired with bland Steponme and it's going to be a blandapalooza. Gimme Rafe any day! At least he's something to look at.

Second, even if the letter breaks up Sami and Rafe, who's to say would leave town?

Love the new word prozacarific and the censored link. And this from Leslie:Too bad he doesn’t use the same powers of observation to solve a few crimes in Salem. made me LOL in my cubicle. HAHAHA

Great Prevuze today! :D

8:09 AM  
Blogger heather said...

Klaus said "I'm also disliking the implication that Kinzie (and Mia) is a slut because she happens to be female."

Totally agreed--there's quite a double-standard there.

Also, how about "Lance" for the Holy Triumverate?

10:28 AM  
Anonymous Lemon Grass said...

So glad to read that Sami and Ej are gonna butt heads, that's always must see t.v.

I'm of the mind that Stephanie needs to bump into Rafe and Adrianna needs to bump into Nathan. That way we can keep all our zapping to a minimum and they can put each other to sleep, too.

My word verification is: drifixt. Ex: Watch DAYS and drifixt to sleep.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Bulldog: blandapalooza

That's one heck of a good word for the Prevuze lexicon yourself. Loved it!

12:40 PM  

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