Thursday, March 01, 2007

Do Not Take Off Those Underwear!

Rain pours down on Shelletopia. Claire lies inside the hut and thanks the dear lord she's not in the warm, safe, dry Kiriakis mansion in the middle of this monsoon. Shawn begs Belle to let him inside their little grass shack. He thought Belle wanted him to kiss her. Belle says it was more than a kiss. "I am not a monk," says Shawn.

"And I am not Willow Stark," says Belle.

Jed and Willow argue as Hope watches. Jed is upset she paid his tuition by turning tricks. Willow says she gave up that life. Jed wonders where she got the money then. She tells him just to go. Jed leaves, and Hope comes inside.

Willow snorts, "What the hell do you want?"

"I came here to help you," says Hope.

Bo tells Kayla he talked to the DA about Steve. Including how he choked her, "The judge agreed sending him to prison would be a dead end." Kayla is thrilled. She dances around the room filled with the joy of knowing she can send Steve to University Hospital where he will get the help he needs and can be close to her.

Bo brings the Hindenburg down in flames, "The judge ordered him to go to State Hospital. You know, the one on Devil's Island."

Kayla gasps, "That hospital is for the criminally insane!"

A couple of guards haul Steve into the room in chains and a flaming orange jumpsuit. Mad-Dog Johnson rages, "Take a good look Sweetness! You did this to me! YOU!"

Kayla moves toward him and he jerks back. He rants at her for turning him in, "They are going to lock me up and flush the key." Kayla is upset. Bo reminds her Patch has a recent history of violence.

Steve's meltdown continues, "They're going to throw me in with a bunch of psychos, perverts and killers and I'll be in a straight jacket. The orderlies there hate their soul-suckin' jobs and they will take it out on me! I'll be so pumped full of drugs I'll be the envy of John Black! "

Kayla insists she loves him, "I was pushed up against a wall. This is our last chance to fix what's wrong with you. It's our last chance to fix us. I'm not giving up on you. Don't give up on yourself."

Willow tells Hope to get out. Hope asks what happened with Willow and Phillip. Willow says she was hoping she found someone to help care for the baby, "I have a bad habit of hitching my star to losers – like your son. But I'll get by."

Hope wants her to take off the gloves and just talk. She wants to know what she can do to help. Willow wonders what has changed. Hope says she heard from the town gossip, sometimes known as Maggie Horton. Willow says if Hope can't offer her a job she is of no use. Hope asks if this is really Shawn's baby.

"What you're really asking," says Willow, "is how many guys did that little slut sleep with. If something were to happen to me, like I show up dead and the autopsy shows this baby is Shawn's, you're rep as Saint Hope would be gone." Note: Saint Hope is the patron saint of all expectant mothers who don't have a clue who the father is. Saint Bo is the patron saint of all expectant fathers who don't have a clue, period.

Shawn asks if Belle is still mad about Willow. There are no bygones buygone enough to have Belle let bygones be bygones. Belle rants and tells Shawn he couldn't tear himself away from that nasty little tramp even when he might lose his daughter. Shawn says, "All Willow Stark meant to me was just sex."

Belle mounts her high-horse, "So how do I know when you put your hands all over me it's not just sex?"

"There is a big difference between you and Willow," says Shawn.

"What," snaps Belle.

"Molten lava doesn't turn to ice when Willow walks by," says Shawn, "Plus my feelings for you."

"Oh, so that's it," says Belle, "If at first you don't succeed, play the feelings card." Shawn says it wasn't just about sex it was about how they feel for each other. He claims Belle felt it as much as he did, "I give up. I am sorry and I will keep my hands to myself."

Oh, no, Belle is into it. She isn't going to let him off the hook that easily, "You don't get to play stupid and then it's all over. We need an understanding. Are you calling me a tease ?"

"No," says Shawn, "I'm confused. If you knew my feelings are for you why did you stop me? You're acting like I tried to take you against your will. I didn't want sex. I wanted you."

Hope wants to make sure the baby is taken care of. Willow needs prenatal care. She asks if Willow has seen a doctor. Willow says she would like to, but she can't afford it. Hope asks what happened to the money Victor gave her.

"I bought a spitload of crack and smoked my brains out."

Hope lectures her for making fun of it. She tells her she lost a child and there is nothing funny about it.

Kayla doesn't want Steve to give up on his soul. Patch mocks Kayla and Bo. He doesn't want their lies or pity. He lunges toward Kayla. Bo intervenes and tells him he isn't going to hurt Kayla again. Steve threatens to take things out on Bo, "Show me what you got. Come on!"

Willow tells Hope to back off. Hope apologizes for going to far. She wants an answer, "What did you do with the money?" Willow says she gave it to her brother for school. Hope says that money could have gone to prenatal care. She claims she never had a problem with Shawn and Willow as long as that's what Shawn wanted.

Willow says, "If you and your husband had shown me just a little respect maybe Shawn and I would be together. But you wanted anything but that, even if it meant never seeing him again."

Shawn educates us by describing the difference between sex and making love. Belle doesn't get the sex part, "How can you be with someone and not love them?"

Shawn insists it's a guy thing, "Belle, you are my world."

Global warming must be real because Belle thaws a little, "I'm sorry I threw it in your face. It's just that I don't want to be another notch on your belt. It's not that I wasn't ready. It just took me by surprise."

Shawn asks, "What do you need to do to get you to trust me again?"

Steve wants the chains off so he can go at it with Bo. Bo tells him he is practically foaming at the mouth. He's his own worst enemy. If he had gotten treatment before, his friend John wouldn't be missing a kidney, "You don't get to chose life and death for yourself or anyone. Look at your wife. You're lucky to have her."

Patch drools and rages, "She gave up on me. She's putting me away."

Kayla bawls, "I want the man I love to come home with me. And you can come, too, Steve."

Patch says, "I'm not gonna make it in the state pen. I'm gonna die there. And I'm gonna die knowing that you killed me."

PrevuzeBo barks orders to the guards, "Prepare him for transport." The goons lose concentration as they turn to take him and Patch breaks free. He lunges toward Bo and HEAD BUTT! Bo staggers across the room and blood spews onto the floor. Kayla asks if he is all right.

Patch bellows, "Hey! See what happens when you blink?" Kayla bawls. Steve rages, "Somebody shut that woman up!"

Kayla goes over to him and holds his face in her hands, "If there is even the smallest part of the old Steve in there, you gotta know you're in trouble."

Beelzebub rages, "The old Steve is dead and gone! Open your eyes and see what I really am! I don't want anything from you. Don't write or call. You're dead to me! Both of you! Get me the hell out of here."

Hope admits she wasn't exactly thrilled at the thought of Willow joining the family, "I dislike you intensely. You are a nasty, immature, reckless young woman." Hope has to learn to say what she thinks instead of beating around the bush.

Willow puts both hands over her heart and collapses backwards onto the bed, "Ugh! You got me! Both barrels! You got a big finish." Willow insists the child is Shawn's. Hope wants Willow to tell her what she needs from her to care for the child.

Shawn doesn't get this at all. Belle says she is just a little unsure about knowing the difference between the Shawn who is playing for keeps and the Shawn who just wants to play around. Shawn takes her hand, "We are like the tide, ruled by the moon. That's where the word lunatic comes from. The moon always brings us back together. We are destined to be together. So what's the problem? We love each other."

"I just needed to hear you say it," says Belle.

"I'm sorry I didn't say this sooner," says Shawn, "I assumed we were in the same place."

"We are in the same place," says the ever-perceptive Belle, "It's like being at a train station saying goodbye. And the train leaves without us."

"It's true," says Shawn, "And your train left the tracks a long time ago. It's just you, me and Claire, and maybe a few monkeys to do the thinking, but it's for keeps. From now on you set the pace. You just have to be patient with me. Take your time, but while you are doing that, can I wait inside. Please? Please? Please?"

Belle smiles as she places Shawn's testicles in her trophy case.

Willow says, "Let's start with the nothing I have. So go from there, and knock yourself out." Hope has made a prenatal examination appointment for Willow. Lexie is missing so she had to make the appointment with a real doctor. Willow wants her to help with a job. Hope says she couldn't in good conscience recommend her to anyone. She wants her to take a pregnancy class at the hospital, "Good things could happen for you, Willow. Make them happen."

"How," says Willow, "By clicking my heels together?"

"Or by keeping them apart as usual," says Hope. Hope takes out her checkbook.

Willow is shocked, "You can take that checkbook and go straight to hell!"

Kayla says she will appeal to have him moved to University Hospital, where patients are lost, murdered, kidnapped and left to fend for themselves in a fire.

Patch calms down, "Kayla, look at my face. Study it. You can always read me. Tell me what you see."

"The man I loved for 20 years."

"Then you're blind."

"I also see you are lost in a deep dark place," says Kayla, "None of this is your fault. There is nothing you could do to make me feel differently. I love you now more than ever."

Patch turns to the goons, "Let's go." They escort Mad-Dog out. Bo hugs Kayla as she bawls.

Belle doesn't know if it's OK for him to come inside. Shawn removes his shirt. Belle wants to know what he is doing. Shawn says if he has to stay outside, he has to take his wet clothes off. Clothes fly. Belle screams, "Do not take off those underwear!"

"It's not like you haven't seen it before."

Belle changes her tune. She tells him to come in. She apologizes and says she wants everything to be perfect. Shawn asks her to promise to tell him whenever she thinks things aren't going right. She makes him promise to do the same.


Hope wonders if Willow thought she would ask her to come home with her. Willow says she could help Hope with the new baby. Hope refuses.

"Shawn is dead," says Willow, "This baby is the only thing left of him."

"It's possible he survived," says Hope.

"If this is a day of honesty let's get to it," says Willow, "Shawn is dead."

"Shut up," says Hope, "You don't know what you are talking about."

Belle promises she will always be honest about how she feels. She will be the happiest person in the world if things work out for them. She suggests they get some sleep. Oh, so magnanimous Belle tells Shawn he can lie next to her.

Hope says Shawn will always be alive in her heart. Willow thinks Hope is holding it together pretty well for someone who lost a second child. Hope says her feelings are private. She writes a check for $1,000, "If you want it, it's yours, or you can tear it up. If you need more let me know. Thanks to my job as a lowly cop, my bank account is a bottomless pit."

"Thanks," says Willow, "And for what it's worth I, hope Shawn is alive, too."

Hope leaves. Willow stands at her door and says, "You know something, lady. She picks up her phone, "Hey, it's me. I need to see you. I think I just found out Shawn, Belle and Claire are still alive."

Kayla has never seen Steve so cold and hateful. Bo says at least he will get the help he needs in the medieval torture chamber over at State Hospital. Kayla doesn't know what to believe. He is so far gone, it scares the hell out of her. Bo is scared, too – For Steve, but mostly for Kayla.

"We can't abandon him," cries Kayla, "I just can't lose him again. What would I do if I lost him again?"


Phillip says to Willow, "I want proof that Shawn, Belle and Claire are alive. Until you have something concrete, stay out of my face."

EJ is on the phone. He says, "Why don't you tell me – now." Sami says, "If you call me again or ask me any more questions I swear I'll kill you." Roman walks up behind her.

Jed asks Max, "Do you know how lucky you are to have a girl like Abby fall in love with you?"

Belle holds Claire and freaks, "We need to get her off this island right now or she will die!"


Blogger JOSHUA S BLACK said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Patch uses and manipulates Kayla for what he wanted now he is blaming Kayla? He knows what kind of person Kayla is. Patch is a loser!

4:41 AM  
Blogger Vampire Bear said...


That wasn't Patch that did all that. That was the robotic drone that took over Patch due to Dimera programming. The real Patch is the one who tried fighting back but failed due to the post-hypnotic suggestion.

5:46 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

I guess we know where the expression "doesn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain" comes from. Why doesn't Jr. just get under the shelter - what's Belle going to do about it if he did?

I chucked over Bo's new car and the accurate description of the kind of care patients get at Salem Hospital. But you're right, at least Patch wouldn't have Lexie for his doctor. HAHAHAHAHA

A moving picture, too! Prevuze certainly brightened up a gloomy morning. :D

7:01 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

St. Hope & St. Bo, patron saints of cluelessness. How appropriate!

I wouldn't have thought about Mimi re-enacting Gallagher's watermelon bit on her Dad's head, but that will REALLY bring that scene to life when I watch it. HAHAHAHA

Cool moving picture, although it looks a little more like they are doing the chest bump.

Wonderful Prevuze on this blustery March 1st (roaring in like a lion).

7:40 AM  
Anonymous theresa said...

OMG! You mean to tell me Claire has to fake DEATH to get back to the mansion?

10:54 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

OMG! You mean to tell me Claire has to fake DEATH to get back to the mansion?

On DOOL you don't have to fake it. You can just up and die and then come back to life whenever it's convenient. In Claire's case, it would never be convenient as long as S&B* are her parents.

*Senseless and Brainless

11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Kayla pathetic or what!

8:20 PM  
Anonymous said...

lofrikkinl!! those cartoons and gifs are great:D dangerously funny, i could die laffing, especially time to disown mom again LOL!

lol thats some picture there of belles face, i really have come to appreciate her beautiful face...dont take those underwear off lol i get it now (i JUST did finish watching the friday show it is right now USA EST 2.50 pm march 5th the year of our salem two thousand and chelsea)...and also that is quite the waterproof and admirable shelter brawn and angelface and claire K have constructed:-)

you know, i always knew there was something funny about meems, always like a rollercoaster that one, up and down, screaming wildly around the curve, then nothing like the coaster at rest. the way she swang that bat clearly STEROIDS have been a part of the bonnie jr's hectic DAYS:P! (poor meems, great cartoon-(max well i could call billie, chelsea, abby, etc) meems head looks like it is getting a 'scanners' thing going on:D great job prevuze!


11:58 AM  

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