Friday, February 16, 2007

Scum-Sucking, Bottom-Feeding Worthless Piece Of Trash

Abby takes off her jumpsuit in the garage as Nick comes in and asks if she can fix the leak in his brain. Abby doesn't do major repairs. Abby says she heard what happened. She's sorry. he figures he got what he deserved, "It was whore-iffic."

Abby tells Nick she's helping Max. Nick asks if she is out of her mind. He thinks she's wasting her time here and will get her heart broken.

Chelsea listens to a message from Nick. He wants to explain. She ignores it and flops on the couch. Billie comes in, "Nick again?"

"I wish he would stop calling."

Billie says he's just trying to make things right. The brat never wants to see him again. Billie tells her Nick wants her to know what he said in the emails is true. Billie asks what she would have done if Nick had told her those things face-to-face.

Patch swings a couple of dumbbells like a madman. Kayla wants him to come to bed. He says he can't sleep. She wonders what he is doing. The big dumbbell is working out with two little dumbbells. He thinks she is disappointed in him. She says she's frustrated, not disappointed. That does it; Patch wigs out. He says he'd be a basket case if he stayed in the hospital. Instead he left the hospital and completely freaked out. Kayla says she is out of ideas. She wants to know what he is going to do, "It's time for you to step up to the plate."

EJ walks in the fog. A man meets him. EJ asks, "Where is he?"

"In the truck."

"Put him in the warehouse and do not hurt him," says EJ, "Your life depends on it."

Patch huffs and paces. He tells Kayla he wants to get his head straightened out. He just has to figure out how. Kayla doesn't have a crowbar handy, so she thinks maybe one more session would work. Patch don' wan' no stinkin' sessions. He wants her. Any other woman would have run for the hills, but she stayed and fought. He couldn't survive without her, "These DiMeras can come after me all they want. I couldn't take losing you again, Sweetness."

Billie lectures. She knows the brat wouldn't have given Nick the time of day if he had talked to her personally about his feelings, "What Nick did was wrong, but the reason he did it was so right – Kind of like Cyrano."

"You mean the one with the big nose?"

"No," says Billie, "That was Pinocchio. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" At least one of them got it.

Billie tells Chelsea the story of Cyrano and Roxanne, and how the lame DOOL writers stole their story like they do so many others.

The brat wonders whose side Billie is on. Billie says she is on her side. The brat asks if that is true, why she keeps defending Nick.

Abby tells Nick Max likes her back. She tells him about the dinner they had. Abby says she was honest with him.

"Honesty," says Nick, "What a concept." Abby thinks Nick should let Chelsea chill for a while. He thinks he should do something romantic. Like learn to play guitar or buy her a car.

"I am Switzerland," says Abby, "I am neutral."

"Ooooooo," says Nick, "I had that done to my dog once," Nick says she gave him all that great advice and never listened. He will have to figure something else out.

"Omygosh," says Jennifer's daughter, "I should keep my mouth shut, but I have a way for you to get Chelsea back."

Billie says she isn't defending Nick. She tells the brat to get over it. Nick wasn't being malicious, "Treat Nick the way you would like to be treated." Billie is proud of herself. Having never read the Bible, she thinks she came up with that one on her own.

Abby says Chelsea needs money to stay in college so Nick could get Dr. Rebert to get her a job in the lab. Nick thinks that's crazy, "He'd fire me if I tried that after what happened."

"If he were going to fire you, he'd have done it by now," says Abby, "You know I'm right."

Abby gets a call, "Sure. I'll be right over." She hangs up and tells Nick, "That was Chelsea. I'm going over to talk. Take my advice for once. Call your boss and be her hero again."

The nurses tend to Stefano. EJ pays the gopher and tells him to keep his mouth shut. Gopher leaves.

Kayla insists Patch isn't going to lose her. He thinks maybe she is the one who needs a mental hospital. She thinks waiting to lose her is the coward's way to make her make the first move, "You want me to say, 'check in or I'm leaving for good,' so you can go off and be the lone injured wolf. Go pack a bag and get out, but don't expect me to pack it for you. I'm not going to give up on you."

Nick cries in his beer at Chez Rouge. Billie meets him and asks how many he's had. He says he's had two, and is going for three. It would be his personal record. She tells him he doesn't need it. She's there to talk about Chelsea, "What is it I can do for you?"

Abby says it must have been horrible. The brat agrees, she has had a bad couple of days. She goes thorough everything that happened with both Nick and Bo. She insists she doesn't want to talk about any of it, which means we're in for a marathon discussion. She thinks she can never go back to the hospital and she has Nick to thank for that. Abby says she begged Nick to tell her he was Lonely Splicer.

The brat gasps, "You knew about this?"

Kayla tells Patch he has to decide how he wants to live. She insists he can't get well on his own. He tried. Patch drones, "If at first you don't succeed..."

She tells him to stop it. If he doesn't do something it will get worse. She wants him with her. Whatever is haunting him she loves the man he is now. She begs him.

Patch sobs. He's scared.

EJ looks at Stefano's chart. He thinks Stefano is making progress. He asks for time alone with him. The nurses leave and EJ sits down. He tells Stefano he has the finest equipment and doctors. EJ holds his hand and says, "Nothing is too good for you, father. That's why I had you transported in a delivery truck to a dingy warehouse."

The brat freaks because Abby knew. She wonders if everyone had a big laugh at her expense. She wonders why Abby didn't come to her and tell. She thinks Abby let her make a fool of herself. Abby says she has no excuses. She hoped Nick would do the right thing. She didn't want to get caught in the middle. If she had it to do over she would go to Chelsea.

The brat decides she can't be that upset. She hasn't been the greatest friend to Abby, either, "It's just payback time all around for me."

Nick unloads on himself, "I feel like a bum – a scum sucking bottom feeding worthless piece of trash. Billie relates to that, "I have done everything I shouldn't do with my life, including sleeping with my daughter's best friend. And I slept with you, too."

Nick says, "I feel like I'm in a country-western song that gets stuck on the part where you lose the one you really love." Billie tells the sot he will feel like hell in the morning. She orders espresso. He'll still be drunk if he drinks it, but at least he'll be awake.

Nick asks how the brat is doing. Billie says, "She won't talk about her father, but you..."

Nick breaks her off, "I don't want to hear it." He hesitates, "Yes I do."

"You're number one on her hit list," says Billie, "Knowing my daughter the way I do, it's going to take a while before she forgives you. A while could be a very long time."

Darkness surrounds Patch and Kayla. Oh, the metaphor! Kayla tells him he can attack this fear and understand he is a victim. She knows he hates that word. The DiMeras tortured him and most men would never have survived that. If he can survive that he can survive this, "I am just asking you to be Steven Earl Johnson."

EJ has some opera for Stefano to listen to. He turns it on. He tells Stefano he's eluded death before and this time it will be no different.

Nick tosses down his espresso like a shot of tequila. Nick is a bright guy sometimes, but he doesn't seem to have sense enough to know espresso is served hot. His mouth practically erupts in flame as he chugs an ice-water chaser. He says he doesn't care what it takes but he will get Chelsea to forgive him. Billie thinks that's a great attitude. He tells her about the job idea. Billie thinks that's a great idea. Nick asks, "Do you think that would get her to hate me a little less?"

"Is that your goal," says Billie, "To have her hate you less?"

"It would be better than not talking to me at all."

"Just remember, it will take some time," says Billie.

Dr. Rebert calls Chelsea. He asks if she remembers him. "How could I forget," asks Chelsea.

"I was hoping you would say that," says Dr. Rebert.

EJ has located several donors who can help them overcome Stefano's condition. No one is more important to him than Stefano.

Patch lies in bed. Kayla joins him for some extra-curricular activities.

EJ thinks it's funny he almost never met Stefano. He doesn't know where he would be without his love and guidance. Now it's time for him to give something back.

Patch and Kayla snuggle. Patch philosophizes, "Someday when I'm facing the Big Dude they will ask me what was the finest thing I ever did. I will say one time I let down my guard and I let a girl named Kayla love me. I don't know if it will get me into heaven but I don't care. Your lips are heaven."

The Lord looks down on them, "I'll tell you one thing, lines like that won't get you into heaven."

Steve goes on, "When you said you needed me to be Steve, that confused me. In the hospital, that was me. I was afraid of being turned into a zombie. I'm going to talk to Marlena."

Kayla sighs, "Thank you... thank you."

Nick asks if this is a bad idea. Billie says not necessarily... it could go either way. If it goes wrong, working with the brat day in and day out could be sheer torture. Kind of like living with her. Nick says he has to do something to prove how much she means to him.

Dr. Rebert asks if Chelsea wants to be interviewed. She can't believe he's asking her after she made such a fool of herself, "I really got up close and personal."

"I know. So, will I see you," asks Dr. Pervert.

Chelsea says she will be right there. She hangs up and tells Abby. Abby thinks maybe Nick arranged this. The brat doesn't think so. She wants to be there to be in Nick's face every day, "If I get the job, I'm pretty sure I could use him to make Nick jealous."


Abby wonders why she would want to do that. "Because Nick deserves it," says the brat, "Wish me luck." She tells Abby to lock up when she leaves.

Billie says if the brat ends up forgiving him that's great. If not he still did a good thing. Nick vows to call Dr. Rebert tomorrow.

Abby calls and tells Nick calling Dr. Rebert was a brilliant move. Nick says he didn't call him. Abby tells him about the interview. Nick hangs up and tells Billie Dr. Rebert beat him to the punch, "Apparently he didn't mind playing tonsil hockey after all." Nick leaves.

Kayla sleeps. Patch dreams. Banging. Restraints. EJ says, "You're one of us now." Patch wakes and stares at Kayla.

EJ says he came to Salem to save Stefano's life. And that's just what he will do, "Even if it means other people must die." FF.

Nanosecond - One billionth of one second; The time interval required for light to travel approximately one foot.

Picosecond - One millionth of one millionth of one second; The time interval required for light to travel 0.3 millimeters.

Peekosecond - One billionth of one billionth of one second; The time interval between a Prevuze reader seeing a censored link and peeking at it.


Nick yells, "If I hadn't pretended to be someone else you never would have let me see who you really are." Chelsea says, "You still don't get it." Nick says, "No, Chelsea, you don't get it. I love you."

Celeste tells Sami, "I know you were with EJ the night John was shot."

Lucas asks, "What? Are you on drugs or something?" Kate says, "Sami did not save your life. EJ did."

Patch hallucinates and grabs for EJ. Reality pops in and Patch is choking Kayla. Kayla cries out.


Anonymous Law Student 2011 said...

I am guilty of peekosecond, someone quick tell Roman, I confess lock me up!!! (LOL) Next weeks looking rather juicy....I'll have to sneak Days in at lunch (hehehehe)
Thanks again, you guys rock!!!

4:07 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"I am guilty of peekosecond"

OMG, LS2011, an honest, competent attorney in the making! You'll never make it in Salem.

4:34 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Is there something faster than a "peekosecond"? 'Cause, I'm sure I achieved it. Just the sight of that "censored" link always gives me an extra jolt of adrenalin. HAHAHAHA

Loved Maggie's shock that Mickey was gone and EJ loving Stefano so much he had him transported in a delivery truck to a dingy warehouse.

Which brings up a question. Now that everyone knows he is a DiMera, why doesn't EJ move into the DiMera mansion with all those nifty secret passages and underground laboratories? Did the show sell off the set?

6:19 AM  
Anonymous KOTU said...

For a second there I thought this episode's title was referring to the show itself. HAHAHAHAHA

Poor tse tse fly is going to have a real identity crisis if they don't name her pretty soon.

6:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks that it is really sick for Billie to want Nick to be with her daughter? This storyline just grosses me out.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

I agree, Applecheeks, it doesn't make any sense for EJ to put Stef up in a warehouse. You're right, what about the mansion?

If others have to die in order to keep Stefano alive what is EJ planning - to harvest organs or something?

I loved the response from the Big Dude. And if you cut a peekosecond into 10ths, that's how long it took me to look. HAHAHAHAA

Wonderful Prevuze and pictures today. Thanks!!

7:54 AM  
Anonymous El Regrs said...

*clicks on censored pic*



11:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am confused now..I mean EJ is with Stefano but are they actually gonna show Stefano in the picture soon or what? That would be so cool if they really did bring Stefano back..He really added to the show and lots more people were watching it back then when he was part of it.

5:42 PM  

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