Pathetic Loser

Thanks to Theresa for cluing us in to the brat's, uh, we mean Angry Angel's MySpace page. We immediately checked it out. Just so you'll know, we did NOT add the brat to our friend's list. We don' wan' no stinkin' losers on our friends list. We saw where she says she put the page there because she needs to get some things off her chest. We didn't quite get that, since anyone can see there is absolutely nothing on her chest in the first place. Anyway, We enjoyed the trip over there, but didn't stay long since we know it's a proven fact that for every minute you spend on MySpace your IQ drops ten points.

Lexie thinks Kayla's BP is a little high. She asks if Kayla wants to do this.

Steve calls Billie. Billie didn't know Steve was going out of town with Kayla. Steve tells her Kayla said she had to take the trip, "Besides, it's always a good policy not to tell the girlfriend when you're going on a romantic trip with the wife and vice versa." Steve figured it would be easier to tell Kayla he doesn't remember when they get out of town.

"Be gentle," says Billie.

"The last thing I want to do is hurt Kayla," says Patch.

Billie hangs up. The brat says, "Let me guess... your favorite pirate. I think it's great. Love is an amazing and rare thing." Billie wonders how she came to this conclusion all of a sudden. The brat shows her the picture of Mr. Right.

Patrick has some business to take care of with Hope. Bonnie asks why he would go near the wife of a man who nearly beat him to death, "Unless Bo's not the one."

"Who else would have done this," asks Patrick.

EJ asks for Bo's apology for accusing him of kidnapping Claire. He hands Bo Red's mug shot and police record, "Someone went to trouble to expunge her record." Bo wonders how a racecar driver gets info like this.

Shallow. Shawn is upset he wasn't there for Claire. He thinks he isn't living up to his obligations as a father. Willow says, "You? Belle is living off of Mommy and Daddy and can't keep track of her own kid."

Belle vows she will never let Claire out of her sight again. She's upset that Shawn blamed her. Hope tries to defend Shawn. Belle can't get past the fact that he's sleeping with a prostitute.

Hope tells her to watch what she says in front of Claire, "Willow isn't doing that any more. Shawn is just trying to help her."

Belle says, "Shawn has a good heart, to make up for his lack of brain, Which is why I want him to spend more time with Claire – But not as long as Willow is there." Hope says Belle can't let her problems with Shawn affect Claire.

Willow tells Shawn Bo is wrong about EJ. Shawn says he needs to make things right. The next time Claire is in trouble he needs to be the one Belle calls. He's going to come clean with Belle and tell her everything.

Billie says, "You have never met this guy. He's at least ten years older than you. He's not your soul mate!"

EJ says he gave Red's mug shots to Bo so Bo will know he had nothing to do with Claire's kidnapping.

Bonnie says EJ told her he was responsible for what happened to Patrick. Patrick tells her to mind her own business. She tells him about the blackmail. Patrick tells her to keep her nose out of it.

Lexie leaves as Patch comes in. Kayla thinks it's weird being back there, wherever it is. She thought it would be an interesting place to come to. She gets closer. Steve tells her to stop. He can't lie anymore, "I don't remember us. I don't remember loving you. I'm sorry." He tells her he faked it when he thought she was going to die. He didn't really get his memory back.

Kayla says it's OK. She already knew something wasn't right. She was afraid this was it. She came there because she had to know the truth. She goes to get her things. He stops her.

Red orders another round for the house. Bo asks what she is celebrating. "I got a big bonus at work," says Red.

"What kind of work would that be," asks Bo.

"I do child work."

Bo slaps her record down in front of her. "I don't think they let convicted felons do that kind of work. Why did you take the kid?"

Red says, "If I was running some kinda scam I'd grab that reward money and run."

Bo grabs her hand with a wad-o-cash, "Got your payoff from someone else, huh?"

Willow wants to know what Shawn is going to say. Everything. Willow thinks Claire getting taken is making him nuts. Shawn says she is wrong, "I've been nuts all along." Willow says she's going to the bank. When she gets back they will go for a ride with the top down.

Steve says he doesn't want to make it harder for her, but, "Since I've been in Salem, I've seen you with your family. I can see you're a good person. You're strong. A lot of things I'm not. I'm a bum. But not you. You're special. I wanted you to know I really admire you." Just what a girl wants to hear. Steve never wanted to hurt her. He hopes someday she can forgive him.

The brat says she knows she's made mistakes, but she's through screwing up. Billie is skeptical. She wants to know what happened to cause the big change. The brat says the big change is because of her Internet flame. Billie says he's a made up person who came from the Internet. Chelsea insists he's not. She will take Billie home and prove it. Billie and the brat head for home.

Bo asks Red if EJ paid her. She says doesn't know EJ. Bo tells her EJ is a famous racecar driver. Red says, "Just because I drink beer doesn't mean I'm into racing. Unless you're the IRS, where I got the money is none of your damn business."

Patrick grills Hope about Bo. He says Bo has a serious violence problem; he dropped the charges for Hope. Hope is grateful. Patrick wants her to keep up her end of the deal.

Stephanie, Abby and Nick are at a table at Chez Rouge. Stephanie shows them the picture of Chelsea's hot Internet guy. Stephanie thinks he might be a movie director. She gets a call and runs off.

Willow sashays past the table and Nick's eyes pop out. He tells Abby, "That waitress is hot." Abby tells him she's an ex hooker, "Once Chelsea finds out you are Lonely Splicer, she will kill you."

Kayla says, "You're still the same. You do something good and you can't see it. You kept me alive. I just don't get to go on with you. I have no idea why you were taken from me. We have to accept it. I'm going to stop trying to make life come out the way I want it to. I don't want you to be with me if you don't want to. I just want you to be happy."

Patch says, "That's what I want for you."

"Will you do me a favor," asks Kayla, "Be my friend." She holds out her hand. Patch gives her a limp shake, and then a hug. Kayla leaves to pull herself together. Patch sighs. Kayla bawls in the bathroom.

Bonnie shoots some pool. EJ walks up and tells her he thinks this is an interesting place to meet. She wants to talk to him about Patrick. She thinks he's in way over his head with EJ, "He needs to skedaddle, and skedaddling requires resources. It seems he misplaced the money you gave him. I think you should replace it, and I will make a fair trade." She invites him into her office.

Hope says she will go to Chicago, but asks Patrick not to tell Bo, "It's always a good policy not to tell the husband when you're going on a romantic trip with the boyfriend and vice versa. Patrick says he's made all the arrangements – they leave in two weeks. Hope says she can't go right before Christmas, "It's our first Christmas... without... Zack."

Patrick says she has to hold up her end of the deal, "I just want to spend some time with you. Is that too much to ask?"

Hope says, "It wouldn't be, if I was sure it was Bo who beat you up."

Billie looks over mystery man's posts and tells the brat he has a way with words. "He's like a poet," says the love struck snot, "Like Eminem."

"Oh yeah," says Billie, "He's my favorite poet."

The brat can see herself spending her life with the guy. She says he's a doctor because he's wearing a stethoscope in the picture. The brat heads for the door, "I know someone who can help me track him down." Billie moans.

Nick says Chelsea will find out he is Lonely Splicer at a precisely predetermined time. Abby says he can't predict Chelsea. Nick climbs under his scientific rock, "I liken her to the hydrogen atom – powerful but if not used right, deadly And lightweight." Nick tells Abby it's a picture of his boss.

Abby can't believe he gave her a picture of his own boss, "What if she finds out?"

"Statistically speaking," says Nick, "the odds of her finding out are infinitesimal."

Stephanie comes back to the table and bellows, "Guess what! Lonely Splicer is a doctor!"

Belle shows up at Shawn's place. He invites her in. They stand in the center of the room and exchange nervous chuckles. She says she came to tell him she hasn't been fair to him. Shawn doesn't know what else he can do to prove he is a big boy.

"You're not the problem," says Belle.

"I know," says Shawn, "It's Willow."

Steve sleeps. Steve dreams of Kayla. Housekeeping knocks at the door. Patch staggers over to the bathroom and knocks, "Open up!" Kayla dresses. The storm outside rages. Oh, the metaphor! The storm inside Steve's mind rages.

EJ sits with Bonnie in her office and says, "In a negotiation, each side brings something to the table. I know you expect me to proffer a large amount of cash. What can you offer me?"

Bonnie says, "I know sometimes a man in a foreign country gets lonely, especially a gentleman like yourself, adrift in a sea of commoners."

"I'm... practically... drowning," says EJ.

"See," says Bonnie, "Consider me your life preserver. Grab on to me and I'll keep you up as long as necessary."

EJ says, "Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson? "

Bonnie giggles, "Seduction? Hell, that takes too long!" She tackles him.

Nick leaps from the table and runs across the room with his tongue dragging on the floor behind him. He catches up to Willow and says, "I just wanted to tell you I find you hot – not as measured by degrees, of course, but in a purely sexual context."

Willow stares over at Abby and Stephanie, "Oh, well, I get it. Tell your friends to go to hell and take you with them, you pathetic loser."

Willow storms off. Nick goes back to the table, "Pathetic loser... that's a step up from four-eyed geek, huh?"

Now that the show's over, Stephanie has to leave. Abby asks what that was about. Nick says, "I'm playing the field so no one suspects I'm Lonely Splicer."

"Smooth," says Abby, "And when Chelsea finds out her dream guy is you?"

"By then," says Nick, "She will be so in love with me she couldn't possibly be upset."

Abby asks, "Nick, were you raised in a test tube?"

Nick says, "No."

Patrick says, "So what? I threw myself in front of a bus? Bo beat the hell out of me." Hope thinks something isn't right.

"Bo," says Patrick, "Bo isn't right. And neither are his actions. He has lied to you over and over again." Patrick just wants Hope to trust him, "I want you to be ready to be convinced I am the man for you."

Belle can't blame Willow for all of their problems. They have been best friends forever. The problem is, Shawn married Mimi and then she was his best friend. When Shawn said they didn't have a future, Belle put up a wall.

Willow listens as they go on. Shawn says, "Mimi and I are through. That wall can come down. Mimi is out of the picture."

Belle asks, "Why didn't you turn to me instead of a prostitute?"

Patch hallucinates, "Kiriakis wants that disk! He'll kill us!"

Kayla says, "There is no disk."

"We gotta get rid of him," growls Patch.

EJ comes up for air. He's flattered but his heart is already spoken for.

"It's not your heart I'm after," says Bonnie, "I'd do anything for my kids."

EJ pulls out another wad-o-cash, "Give me your word I will never hear from you again."

"I can't take your money."

"This is in your son's best interest," says EJ.

"Done," she grabs the wad, "Unless your heart ever becomes unspoken for."

"Willow helped me out," says Shawn, "I helped her out."

"Of her clothes," says Belle, "Are you still helping her?"

Shawn is busted, "Yeah."

"Well," sighs Belle, "I appreciate your honesty."

Shawn tells her about his job. Bo thinks EJ is into something illegal. Shawn doesn't know, but if his dad is right, he's outta there, "There's one more thing. Something I haven't been completely honest about."

EJ meets with Patrick. EJ ain't happy, "This is your one warning. If your mother asks me for one more dime, you will rue the day you were born."

Patch says the people at the door want to kill them. He looks up at the sprinkler. Kayla tells him he's remembering something from years ago, "I'm fine, see?"

Patch yells, "They wanna kill us! I won't let them hurt you, Sweetness. I won't."

Willow listens. Belle begs Shawn to talk to her. Willow busts in before Shawn can say anything. She walks over to him, "Ready for the romantic drive?" Kiss. If looks could kill, both Willow and Belle would drop dead right now.

Patrick says he told Bonnie to stay away from EJ. EJ tells him about their meeting. Patrick says it will never happen again.

"Right," says EJ, "Because if she asks me for another dime, it will be the last thing she ever did."

Patch climbs up to the sprinkler. Memories rage. Kayla begs. She drags him down. Patch is delirious. He rambles on about Kiriakis.

"Steve," begs Kayla, "You have to come back!"

Memories cascade. "Steve!"

CORE DUMP!

Kayla asks, "Are you OK?"

"I remember."

"What?"

"I remember."

"Oh God!"

"I remember everything," says Patch, "Oh, Sweetness." FF.

Previews
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Bo puts on his jacket, "I told you what happened. You didn't believe me after all these years. So, you know what? I'm outta here." Hope says, "No! Wait! Please!" Bo says, I can't live in a house with someone who doesn't trust me."

Willow tells Belle, "Shawn and I share everything... including a bed. She turns to Shawn and shouts, "Tell her!"

Kayla cries, "I can't let you get my hopes up again. Patch says, "Kayla, no." He grabs her, "Look at me! I'm back."