Thursday, November 30, 2006

I'll Stick To My Martinis

John visits to Bo in the slammer. Bo runs to the back of the cell and tells John to get away from him. "I said it would be a convivial visit," says John, "Not a conjugal visit."

Bo begs him to get him out. John knows Bo is innocent. He says he's going to Italy tonight. He will believe Stephano is dead when he has proof. First he will find out who EJ is and what he's up to. "That's where you come in," says John.

"John," says Bo, "I'm behind bars."

"I know," says John, "With you out of the way, we might get something done. But you can cover for me with Marlena,"

Abe picks up a document and tries to read it. BLURRED VISION! SHADES OF DOOM! Abe picks up the phone, "Hello... Salem Hospital? This is Abe Carver. I'd like to talk to someone about the warranty on Zack's eyes."

Tek walks in. Abe asks, "Roman?"

Tek says, "If I were a few years older and white, and called everyone 'pard.'"

Abe growls, "I've got nothing to say to you." Tek asks him for a recommendation.

Kayla is either in deep pain or doing yoga. Lexie walks in and asks if she is all right. "Yoga is relaxing," says Kayla, "You should try it."

"I'll stick to my martinis," says Lexie.

Kayla hates being an invalid and hates what it is doing to Steve. She thinks he feels trapped.

Billie rushes out drying her hair, as there is a knock at her door. "Keep your shirt on," she yells.

She opens the door. Patch stands there and asks, "Do I have to?"

"Yes," says Billie, "and your pants too."

"You're no fun." Patch goes in. Billie says it isn't a good day. She tells him Bo has been arrested. Billie has to get to the jail. Patch asks about the photo and Billie explains. She insists nothing happened between Bo and her.

"It doesn't matter," says Patch, "It doesn't change the way I feel about you."

Abe says, "The acoustics are really bad in here. I could have sworn you just asked for a recommendation. Get the hell out of here. You must've thought I was some moron who forgot you slept with his wife."

"You're wrong," says Tek, "You don't forget much. I'm a good cop and you know it. I think I spent more nights here than I did in my own house in my own bed."

"I doubt that," says grumbles Abe.

Abe reminds him he broke the law when he violated the restraining order. "OK," says Tek, "Throw in a PS. Say 'Don't trust this guy with your wife,' but I deserve a recommendation."

Lexie thinks Kayla is wrong. Steve is a big boy. If he wanted to leave, he'd leave. Kayla says he's though on the outside but has a tender heart. She thinks it's convenient that his memory came back just in time to save her life.

"Truth is stranger than fiction," says Lexie.

"Where I come from," says Kayla, "that's called unbelievable."

"You've got to stop living in the real world," says Lexie, "You're in Salem now."

Steve says he canceled on Billie because there was an emergency with Kayla. Billie says Hope has told her everything. He says he faked it because he was trying to help Kayla. He says he's going back to being the same selfish jerk he knows and loves.

"You're wrong," says Billie, "You're not selfish. What are you doing here?"

"I can't stop thinking about you."

"I'm an all or nothing kind of girl."

"When did you change," asks Patch, "I just need some time."

"OK," says Billie, "But I'm warning you. If I can't have all of you I don't want any of you."

"I'm an all or nothing kind of boy," says Patch.

Billie asks, "So, did you think I'd jump your bones because you came over to tell me you wanted me."

"What happens now," asks Steve.

"I guess you go back to Kayla."

"Until she's well enough to tell her the truth," he says.

"So I sit around and wait," asks Billie, "What if you remember you have feelings for Kayla? You're scared to be with her. It's safe for you to be here. I've been down that road before."

"I'm not Bo," says Patch.

"You're not available," says Billie, "When do I get to be number one? Right now!"

Lexie and Kayla have breakfast. Kayla is getting wise to Patch's game. She thinks he is pretending to have his memory back to keep her alive. And now he's stuck. Kayla sees sadness and pain in his face, not love and desire. She doesn't know what to do. She has to let him know he is free to go.

Lexie asks, "What if what he really wants is to be with you? Do you want to push him away?"

Abe gives an evil chuckle, "High scores on the shooting range do not make you a good police officer. What matters is what is in your heart. You don't give a damn about your fellow officers. You slept with your superior's wife." Things degenerate, if that is possible. Abe tells him to get out.

John says he told Marlena he was going to Italy on business. He wants Bo to lie for him, "The last time I filled her in she jumped out of my plane at 4,000 feet." Bo says he will back him up if he takes him with him.

Kayla says she can't just act like everything is OK. Lexie tells her to relax. Kayla says Steve and her need to go away together.

Lexie thinks that is a bad idea. Kayla says she has to take him somewhere he will remember. Lexie relents, "But only if I go with you."

Kayla asks, "What kind of a romantic getaway would that be?"

"A threesome."

"OK," says Kayla, "I'll need a friend if this doesn't go well."

Patch agrees. Billie does need to be in someone's life. He came to find out if she still feels something for him. He isn't trying to hurt her. Billie says, "Yes, I do still feel something for you and it's killing me."

He puts his hands on her shoulders, "I'm gonna make this right. Trust me."

Billie stares. "OK."

John can't take Bo with him. Bo can't make bail until tomorrow and John has to go today, "Good luck with Marlena. What do you say?"

"I say if you don't get back in one piece Marlena will kill the both of us," says Bo, "Take care."

Abe snorts, "I told you to go!" He calls for backup. Tek tells him he got a call form the state's attorney. He had questions about what kind of a job Abe is doing. That got Abe's attention. He asks Tek to sit down.

Tek says Abe blowing the Wells case sent up red flags. The state's attorney wants to clean it up, "If I go down you're going with me."

Abe says, "You're just a bitter ex-police officer with an axe to grind."

Tek thinks that will change when he tells them the commissioner kicked him off the force for sleeping with his wife. Tek offers to trade one good recommendation for another one. Abe says, "You're a lousy police officer and a lousy human being. What I want is to never see your face again."

"Could you leave that part out of the recommendation," asks Tek, "The offer is about to expire, Abe."

Abe caves in, "OK. I'll have Roman write up a letter for you." He opens the door.

Tek leaves, "Ill pick it up tomorrow."

"I'll mail it," growls Abe, "Don't come back."

Marlena comes to see Bo. She asks if John came by. Bo says, "Oh, yeah, he said he's headed to Europe. Basic Black keeps him busy."

Marlena says she thought John was going there to investigate EJ. Bo tells her EJ has been cleared of all charges. Marlena thinks that was only a PR move. She thinks John is doing an unofficial investigation, "Let's stop playing games."

"The less you know..."

Marlena jumps down his throat, "I have a right to know. The truth could not frighten me more than what I'm thinking already. If something happens to John I will never forgive you."

Bo says he can't tell her any more than he already has. She begs him not to do this to her. She would help if Hope were in trouble. She begs. Bo crumbles. He gives her the story, "Are you OK?"

"Thanks for telling me."

"Promise you won't do anything stupid," says Bo. She leaves.

Lexie comes in to see Abe. Abe tries to focus, but the eyes go wacky. She says he looks troubled. He tells her about Tek's visit. Abe says he agreed to the letter of recommendation. Lexie can't believe that. He says he just wants this all to be over. She thinks something else is going on besides Tek. Abe trips. He fumbles as he picks up papers. Lexie asks him what is going on.

"It's my eyes," says Abe, "They're getting worse."

Patch comes in to Kayla's place. She tells him Lexie went out. She says she is going stir crazy there. He thinks a little ride would do her good. Kayla don' wan' no stinkin' ride. She wants a few days away. She wants to go to the mountains. Patch thinks maybe she should wait.

"I want to go now and I want you to go with me."

John sips his drink on the plane. Marlena walks in, "If the bar is open, I'll have a white wine." John gets it. He says she shouldn't be there. If she goes, she will be going out of her mind waiting for him to get out of his business meetings, "How about if you stay in Salem and then we will go on a vacation?"

Marlena asks, "How about you quit lying to me?"

John asks, "Who told you?"

Marlena says, "Nobody had to tell me. I knew." John grits his teeth.

Abe doesn't want people to find out he's going blind again. He tells Lexie he is in major hot water because of the EJ mess, "It's a PR nightmare. They want to make me the scapegoat. They could insist I take medical leave." Lexie doesn't think they would ever do that. Abe tells Lexie, "All I've ever done is be a police officer. I can't lose that. I won't."

Patch gets the idea. She wants them to go away together. Kayla makes her pitch. He wonders what if she has a relapse. She says Lexie will be there. She is sick of being fussed over. She wants to live again. She wants him to live again, too. He says he's fine. Whatever he did in the quarantine room he did to help her.

"Let's do this for the two of us," says Kayla, "You don't want to go away with me?"

Patch says, "It's not that."

Kayla says, "You can tell me anything."


Lexie tells Abe if he loses his job and eyesight he will always have her, "We can stand in the unemployment line together." He agrees to see the doctor when this is over. Abe is tortured. He knows she is just trying to help, "Maybe you could help me get out of here without bumping into anything." She says she will do that every day.

"Have I told you today that I love you," asks Abe.

"No, not today."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Smooch. They head for home.

Kayla asks Patch to tell her what's going on with him. He doesn't know. It was like time stopped when they were locked up in that quarantine room. Kayla thinks this is what they need. Patch doesn't know what he needs. Kayla says he can tell her whatever the reason is he doesn't want to go away with her. Patch decides they should do it. Kayla says she will make the arrangements.

Billie comes in to see Bo, "I would have brought you a cake with a file in it, but I figured I'd caused you enough trouble already."

Bo says, "I didn't lay a finger on that crybaby."

Billie says, "But you're still in a lot of trouble, Bo."

Bo insists he will get out of this. The jailer comes to take him to his arraignment. Billie holds up her purse – she came with the bail money, "What'd you think I came just to see your pretty face."

John thinks Marlena is an interesting combo – psychiatrist and psychic. And psycho. Marlena says there is no way she is staying in Salem, "We may not be remarried yet, but we are one in mind and spirit. There is no point in arguing."

John lays out the ground rules, "No jumping out of the plane. No dangerous stuff."

Marlena crosses her heart, "What are we waiting for? Let's head for Italy." John smiles. FF.


Bo asks Billie, "Why can't I keep it in my pants around you? She's just lost all faith in me."

Hope tells Patrick, "I came to ask for a favor. Please drop the charges against Bo."

Sami asks, "What if EJ wants the money back?" Lucas says, "Faghedaboutit, all right? I make enough money for the three of us... Call him back and tell him you quit."

Kate tells EJ, "But if you are serious about bringing Samantha Brady into this company it will be over my dead body."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

When Kate says that in the preview I'll bet EJ is thinking - If that's what you want.

5:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must be psychic too - I predict....Marlena will be kidnapped by Stephano while in Italy. oooohhhh...I'm good huh? Pretty scary how I would know that.

7:05 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

It's too bad Squints made Marlena promise not to jump out of the plane again.

Typical efficiency of the former Dr. Carver, let's go home instead of taking poor Abe to the eye doctor!

I'm still laughing over "If I were older, white and called everyone Pard". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Great Prevuze on a snowy/gloomy day!!!

10:12 AM  
Anonymous KOTU said...

Speaking of a snowy, glooming day - as I type just about the entire mid-section of the country is just out or/in the middle of/or about to get hit with freezing temps, ice and snow. I trudged into the house for lunch, bundled up to my eyeteeth, switched on the TV and there was Abby dressed in a short, tank-top, summer dress. (See first picture in today's Prevuze.) IN A GARAGE. IN THE MIDWEST (supposedly). IN THE WINTER! Come on you west coast writers/wardrobe people. GET A CLUE!!!

11:55 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

I should have known better than start to read Prevuze with liquid in my mouth. BIG spit-take on the "convivial not conjugal visit" line. HAHAHAHA

My TLT for today:
- If John hadn't gone to Bo and TOLD HIM what he was up to, Bo wouldn't have to "cover for him".

Funny Prevuze!

12:00 PM  

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