Interested In Adultery?
"So do I," says Max.
Kate, Billie and the brat come up to a restaurant where Kate used to work. Kate says, "This is a chapter in my life I don't wish to revisit."
The brat says, "Come on, Kate, I won't think any less of you. I mean, it beats being a hooker right?"
"Not by much," says Kate as they walk in. Billie sees Patch and decides they should go somewhere else. Patch goes over to them. He asks if they are looking for a table. Billie says they were just leaving. The brat recognizes him and we have introductions all around. Kate encourages Billie to stay, "They have great burgers here and you don't want to pass up the best meat in town, do you?"
Belle insists she is fine as Phillip walks in. Seeing her audience is now bigger, Belle doubles over again. The team goes into action to get her to the hospital.
Shawn and Mimi don't need a hospital. Bo knocks on their apartment door and says there is an emergency with Belle. He apologizes as Mimi repacks her boobs for another day. She will watch Claire while Shawn goes with the group. Mimi throws up her hands in frustration as they leave.
Patch asks why he hasn't seen Billie around anywhere. Billie says she has been spending time at home. He thinks she doesn’t seem like the typical domestic type. Kate says she has other talents. Billie says her mother interferes in her children's affairs. "Or lack thereof," says Kate.
Phillip paces at the hospital. Shawn wonders why this is taking so long. He also wonders how it happened.
Phillip jumps on that one, "How the hell do you think it happened? She started having cramps right after you served us with those legal papers! You went to a lawyer without talking to us. We're supposed to be your friends. How do you think that made us feel? You're dealing with people's lives here!"
Shawn reminds him, "You're the one who ran off with Claire."
Phillip retaliates, "Because of you Belle might lose her baby."
Max says, "We could go someplace where we can get a little..."
"Food," asks Stephanie.
"That, too," says Max, "How about dinner then?"
"And dessert," she asks.
Bonnie arrives at Belle's apartment. Mimi says she is babysitting and fills Bonnie in on the situation.
Bonnie is hopeful, "Miscarriage?"
"That's what they are thinking," says Mimi, "Those of them who can think, anyway."
Bonnie asks, "Didn't they call?"
"Not me," says Mimi, "They know the drill... I don't want anything to happen to Belle's baby."
Bonnie says, "It would be one less tie she has to Shawn, if she were to lose it,"
Mimi says, "Belle lost it a long time ago, Mom."
Shawn and Phillip argue. Hope pulls them apart and reminds them this is what put Belle in the hospital. Shawn reminds everyone Phillip wanted her to have and abortion, "Because you don't want this baby. You wish it had never been conceived and you wish like hell that it never had to be born." Phillip attacks Shawn.
Max and Stephanie have ordered Chinese. Stephanie loves Wu Fong's. They argue about who ate the last egg roll. Max claims the cat ate it. He keeps a cat around there to scare off the rats. To prove he actually has rats in the place, he pulls out a fake rat. Stephanie jumps out of her skin. She claims it would take more than that to scare her, though. "Like the Salem GP," asks Max. He admits he's a little nervous, too, because Shawn has a lot riding on the new engine.
The security guard tells Phillip to take it outside. Supercop Bo flashes his badge and tells the guard he will handle it. Bo tells Phillip if he keeps this up he will lose his family. Shawn stands in the background as Mommy and Daddy fight his battle for him.
Dr. Ross comes out and Shawn asks her if the baby is OK. She stares the stare of death.
Bonnie offers Mimi a beer. Mimi reminds her she is babysitting, "I hate the way I have been acting."
Bonnie rants, "Who could blame you for wanting your husband to yourself? You feel like a bad person because of miss goodie two shoes. You are a better person than she is. A better liar, anyway. Shawn feels that way too." Bonnie asks if the sexy underwear she gave her worked.
Mimi says, "Yes, but Bo interrupted us in the middle of it. I don't know how Belle does it. It's like she has radar. I still think she was faking her pains the last time. If it was just me against Belle I'd win Shawn over, but she has Claire and the new baby on her side."
Dr. Ross is optimistic, but wants to keep Belle for observation. Shawn wants to observe her, too. The doctor says she can have visitors, but no stress. Shawn's Mommy tells Phillip to calm down before he goes in. "I'll be in there soon," says Phillip. He broods as Shawn goes in.
Belle smiles when she sees Shawn and tells him she was scared she was going to lose the baby. Hugs.
Stephanie can't get the hang of the chopsticks. "Let a master show you," says Max. He grabs the sticks and shows her how to use them.
She picks up the egg foo yung but fumbles it. Max catches it. "You're a good teacher," she says as he feeds it to her. He can't believe she's ever learned to use chopsticks. Poor coordination – not one of the best traits of a race driver.
"Others have tried to teach me, but you're better," says Stephanie, "You're not like anyone I've ever met, Max."
"Is that a good thing," he asks.
"Mostly," she says, "When I'm around you, I feel safe."
"Then you're not around me much on the racetrack," he says.
"Even us daredevils get scared."
"A lot of things seem to scare you," says Max, "Chopsticks, rats the GP."
"Mostly I'm afraid of losing my dad again," says Stephanie.
Kate tells the brat to put her napkin on her lap. Billie doesn't like Kate instructing her. She is worried Kate will corrupt Chelsea.
"Maybe she's just trying to teach her some manners," says Patch.
"Maybe I'm a Vestal Virgin," says Billie.
"The Vestal Virgins built their temple in 600 BC," says Patch, "It's probably been that long since you were a virgin."
Kate and Billie bicker. Patch the referee jumps in, "Ding-ding-ding! Ready for round two."
Stephanie says her dad is back in Salem but he feels further away every day. She doesn't know what he's afraid of. The only way he could disappoint them is by leaving again, "It's like something is pulling him away from me and my mom."
The brat makes a decision, "I'm going to go start the fun part of my night."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," says Kate.
"Raise your standards just a little," says Billie. Kate decides to walk the brat to the door, "I'll leave dessert to you and Billie."
Bo hands Phillip decaf. He asks Bo how he felt when he was in this position.
"Like you want to kill someone," snarls Bo.
"Or everyone," says Phillip, "This just doesn't seem real."
"You, Belle, Claire and the baby on the way – that's real," says Bo.
"Yeah, and Shawn wants to take it away from me," grumbles Phillip.
Hope says nothing can change what Phillip feels for Claire. Phillip says he doesn't know what he will do if anyone takes Claire away from him.
Shawn and Belle look at the ultrasound. "You can see the fingers and toes," says Shawn, "That's great. She'll be able to count just like me! " He puts his hand on Belle's tummy and yanks it away. Belle gives him permission to touch. Shawn says, "That's my kid."
"It's our kid," says Belle.
"I think he just kicked me," says Shawn.
"SHE can't kick yet," says Belle.
"It's a Brady," says Shawn, "They're very advanced." Choke. Shawn lectures the kid for giving its mom so much trouble. He tells it to grow big and strong. He leans down to listen.
"What did she say," asks Belle.
"We're good," says Shawn.
"He understands who's boss," says Belle.
"Yeah," says Shawn, "His mom."
"Yeah," asks Belle, "No more problems till puberty – from either of you." Belle takes his hand. They admire the picture.
Mimi has talked to Hope on the phone. She tells Bonnie Hope said Belle and the baby are doing fine, "Shawn couldn't talk because he was in with the little mother. I'd like to be a fly on that wall."
Bonnie says, "You should be the spider, not the fly."
"And then what," asks Mimi, "Eat him?"
Bonnie breaks out in a big smile, "Well, yeah! Go back and fix him a nice dinner. Then put on that edible bra and panties."
Mimi asks, "If I go over there to do that, who will watch Claire?"
Bonnie wonders if the baby monitor can work over at Mimi's place. Mimi says it will. Bonnie says, "Let's go then. We've got a web to weave." They grab the monitor and head for Mimi's apartment.
Shawn says he should go, "Phillip's waiting and I should get back to what's her name. We were in the, uh, middle of something when I left."
Belle asks about her mom. Shawn hasn't heard anything. He encourages her. They will find her.
"Her disappearance is one more piece of proof you have to make the most of the time you do have," says Belle, "So go. Give Mimi a hug for me."
Patch and Billie share devil's food cake. "It's so good but so bad," says Billie.
"One of my favorite combos," says Patch.
Billie stops and says she's not hungry. "Don't worry about a couple of pounds," says Patch, "You look good to me."
Billie says, "I told you, we can't do this. I like you a lot..."
"Well," says Patch, "We've found some common ground. I like me, too." Billie is distant. Patch wonders what is wrong, "I showered."
"It's the way you look at me," says Billie, "Like I'm the only woman in the room."
"What about Kayla?"
"She's not in the room."
"What if she was?"
"I'd do what I plan to do the next time I see her," says Patch.
"What's that," asks Billie.
"Ask her for a divorce," says Patch.
Stephanie and Max clean up. No fortune cookies. Max doesn't believe in them. He's a realist. She asks what he does when reality sucks. He tells her he changes it. She wonders if that means her mom can fix things with her dad. "Reality doesn’t always work with love," says Max.
Stephanie claims Patch doesn't know what he is missing. Sometimes she wants to go someplace and forget all this. "You can," says Max. Hugs.
The brat looks for something, "Where did I put it?"
Billie says, "We just went from you propositioning me to divorcing your wife. We skipped a few steps."
Patch asks, "You're not interested in adultery are you? You aren't the reason I decided to end things with Kayla."
Billie says, "I know you don't remember her, but shouldn't you try therapy or something?"
"I've been on more couches than I can count," says Patch.
"Me, too," says the Vestal Virgin.
"It's not my life," says Patch, "It belongs to Steve Johnson, who I don't even know. I've woken up to strangers and I don't want to be married to one."
"Why me," asks Billie.
"Why you," he says. He goes over to her side of the booth, "I don't know. You feel familiar."
"Maybe you were a... uh... client," says Billie.
"Look," says Patch, "I just think we're two people who can connect. That's all. Simple." He strokes her cheek, "So Billie, what are we gonna do?" Kiss. The brat walks back in and soaks it in.
Mimi sports a slinky gown.
Bonnie prepares dinner and asks, "Do you have any horny goatweed? I'm making an aphrodisiac stew, which will stand Shawn's hair on end, among other things. What happened to the edible underwear?"
Mimi slaps her butt, "They're underneath."
The baby monitor erupts with the sound of Claire crying. Mimi and Bonnie rush over.
Phillip comes in to see Belle. He says he was worried. He hopes the little one isn't going to make a habit of this.
Belle says, "I think Shawn took care of that." Phillip sighs. Belle says, "Sorry."
"We can't pretend he doesn't exist," says Phillip, "Biology doesn't matter. I will love this baby as much as Claire. You all mean everything to me." He kisses her hand.
Shawn tries Belle's door and calls for Mimi. No answer, so he heads for his apartment.
Mimi can't figure out what's wrong with Claire. Bonnie gives it a try. She finds a tooth coming in. She suggests scotch. Mimi doesn't think that's a good idea. The pacifier doesn't work. Bonnie goes for the scotch. She gives Mimi instructions. She pulls on Mimi's neckline as she says, "Keep the lights and this low."
Shawn stands at the counter and listens to the baby monitor as the girls talk. "I wish I could be as sure about all this as you are," says Mimi."
"Trust your mama," says Bonnie, "Everything's going to work out fine. It has so far, hasn't it?"
Shawn picks up the monitor and gives it exactly the same confused look as the ape gave the stick in '2001, A Space Odyssey.'
Mimi signs her own death warrant, "Yeah, but if Shawn ever found out I've known all along that Claire is his daughter, he would never forgive me." Shawn gives the monitor the same look King Kong gave the dinosaur just before he crushed it. FF.
The brat yells at Billie, "You say one thing and then do another. I saw you kissing Steve Johnson."
Mimi says, "I love you. I just made a terrible mistake." Shawn says, "So did I – the biggest mistake of my life."
The brat tells Bo, "If Hope can't forgive you, then maybe you're better off with somebody else."
Belle says, "When two people love each other, nothing should keep them apart." Hope says, "So maybe you should try taking your own advice."