Wednesday, July 26, 2006

You Never Learn Until You Get Burned

Cincinnati, Ohio. Let's all head into the bar and have a Hudepohl. The hand stalks. A woman enters the seedy joint, walks up to Patch and plants a big one on him. Kayla pulls her off, "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm his wife! Who the hell are you?"

"I'm his wife," says Kayla. She turns to Patch, "How can you be married to another woman?" Tell me." Patch wishes he were in Tasmania right about now.

The brat dirty dances. Max drags her away and asks who those guys are. She says they are her friends. He wants to take her outside. She refuses.

Belle hopes Shawn doesn't hate her. He insists he doesn't. Belle says, "I just need to make up my mind 100%."

"There's not much room in there," says Shawn, "It shouldn't take long."

"There is no way to go back," says Belle, "I need to let it go once and for all." Hugs.

Phillip walks in and sees them hugging. He gets sarcastic, "Thanks for being here to take care of my wife. I can see how upset she is about almost losing me."

Carrie worries about having told everyone she was pregnant when she wasn't sure, "I feel like I must be crazy."

Lucas tries to comfort Carrie, "It could happen to anybody."

"I rushed our wedding," she whines.

"I'm just glad we got married," says Lucas.

"The pages in our baby book will always be blank," says Carrie, "I'm never going to be pregnant. If you don't want to stay together..."

He stops her, "I married you because I loved you, not to mention my fantasy about a dominatrix."

"I feel so ridiculous," says Carrie.

"I gotta ask you this," he says, "Now that you know you're not pregnant with our baby, what are you saying? Are you saying you regret marrying me?"

EJ compliments Austin on the dinner. Sami can't stop staring at her ring. EJ can't stop staring at Sami. Austin goes for more champagne. Sami scowls and twirls her ring. She takes it off.

Austin sees her take it off and tells her to put it back on. Sami says, "Austin, the truth is I don't deserve it."

Carrie says she doesn't regret getting married. She is sad, but it has nothing to do with Lucas. He tells her she could never disappoint him. She suggests going on the roof to celebrate with Austin and Sami.

Austin says he told Sami not to sweat the cost. Sami says it's not about that. She doesn't think she should wear his ring until she tells him the truth, "I can't tell you how much it means to have you in my life." Hugs. "Sometimes I don't feel like I deserve to be happy and I am so lucky you believe in me."

"I don't ever want to hurt you," says Austin.

"You won't," says Sami, "You couldn't."

"I love you," says Austin, "This is your ring and I want you to wear it for all the Days Of Our Lives."

"I love you," says Sami.

Austin must be in the early stages of Alzheimer's. He has to go downstairs because he forgot the dessert wine. He leaves so EJ can rant again. EJ tells Sami it's time to tell Austin. Sami knows. Here we go again, blah, blah, blah.

Austin comes back with Lucas and Carrie. He tells them about giving Sami her engagement ring. Carrie runs up to looks at it and is nearly blinded. Lucas says, "That's certainly a lot nicer than the one I got you."

Sami says, "Lucas, I've told you a thousand times... size doesn't matter." He asks if she is happy, because she doesn't look happy to him.

Sami asks, "Why? You think I am supposed to still be in love with you?"

"I can tell something is going on," says Lucas. Carrie slaps him around and tells him to knock it off. Austin asks about the baby. Lucas and Carrie stare.

Kayla wants to know what is going on. Patch introduces Della. We find out she and Patch haven't really tied the knot. The marriage isn't official. He tells Della about Steve Johnson. Della says, "Oh, Little Miss Perfect – your wife. Don't tell me he even changed diapers. Not the Nick we know and love. I don't believe it."

Patch gives a nervous laugh, "It's true. I even took a DNA test."

Della tells Kayla to stay the hell out of their lives. Kayla walks off. "I've been worried about you," says Della, "This is your life now. Let's have a beer and catch up."

"Give me a minute to talk to Kayla," says Patch.

"Make it fast," snorts Della.

Patch has Kayla sit down. He tells her he's sorry. She wonders when he was going to tell her about Della. He says he didn't tell because she didn't ask. Kayla asks, "How serious is it? Do you love her?" Patch stares.

Max wants to know what the brat is doing. The little snot says, "You were busy fixing your car with Stephanie. What was I supposed to do – read Auto Mechanic?"

"Forget it," Max storms out. Stephanie follows.

Abby comes up to the brat, "That went well."

"They'll be back. Don't worry," says the brat.

"I'm a horrible mess," says Belle. No one disagrees.

Phillip lectures her. She has to help him get through this. Mimi arrives to complete the set. Shawn says they all have to talk. He talks about custody. They live across the hall so it will be convenient.

"Too convenient," growls Phillip.

Mimi chimes in, "We all need to be honest about everything. There is something you all need to know. There is something I know that will change everything. I've been keeping it a secret because I'm scared of losing you, Shawn. You are Claire's biological father."

Belle can't believe it, "We've never been together."

Mimi 'splains how things happened at the burning barn. She talks about how Shawn's blood for the transfusion matched Claire's, while Phillip's didn't. Shawn takes her aside with more questions. He wants to know how she could possibly know this. She tells him about overhearing the nurses talking about the blood test.

Belle turns on her hysteria afterburners, "So you've known about this – and you didn't tell us?"

Shawn becomes unhinged, "How many times did I tell you to trust in me? We got married under false pretenses! I'm going to get an annulment!" He turns to Phillip, "I have respected you and your marriage. Now, it's like this IVF mix-up was fate. Belle and I still love each other. We will finally be a family together." Belle and Shawn ride off into the sunset.

Phillip turns his wrath on Mimi, "If I'm going to lose Belle and Claire, I'm not losing my baby! I will sue for custody!"

"You seem awfully upset," says Mimi, "Maybe you should go for another drive."

Fortunately, Prevuze readers are too smart to buy any of this. We all wake up from Mimi's little nightmare. She changes her mind about saying what she was going to say. She says this is hard for Phillip and her, "Fighting isn't going to solve anything. We have to get through this together – the four of us."

Shawn says Phillip is the father but he wants to be a part of the kid's life. He hopes they will always be friends, "I believe we can do this but we have to be in it together. What do you say?" Phillip stares.

Austin toasts the baby. Lucas whispers to Carrie, "So you didn't tell them you aren't pregnant?" Carrie wants to make it a special night for Sami. Lucas tells her that's just why he loves her so much – she's always thinking of others. He talks about adopting. He wouldn't trade places with anyone. Hugs.

Austin toasts Sami, "To us – one day having a baby like Lucas and Carrie."

Bottoms up. EJ whispers in Sami's ear, "Now would be a good time."

"I have something I want to say to you all," says Sami, "It's something I think could change all of our lives forever."

Back at the dive. Della watches as Patch and Kayla talk. Patch stammers, "I've been with a few... several..." Kayla has heard enough. She shuts him up.

He tells her his life isn't what she is used to. Kayla tells him Steve Johnson isn't that different from Nick Stockton. She used to go with him to the Cheatin' Heart all the time. He tells her he isn't the right kind of guy for her. She tells him he needs to be with her. Patch says, "Until I can remember you, you're just my wife on paper. I think you're beautiful and good but until I remember you I can't be your husband."

She lectures him for not mentioning Della, "Were you just playing me?"

Patch says, "The truth is, even though we share a daughter I don't feel the same connection to you. I know that's not what you want to hear. Try to understand."

Stephanie chases Max down. He riles against Chelsea. He's sick of her games. Stephanie says Chelsea doesn't understand racers. Max has never wanted a serious relationship before. Now he does, but he doesn't think it should be this hard.

"Face it," says Stephanie, "Maybe you just weren't meant to be with Chelsea."

The brat suggests Abby go ask someone to dance. Abby reminds her she's dating Josh. One guy is plenty for Abby. She thinks the brat is afraid Max is caring too much about her, "You remind me of your cousin Sami."

Cousin Sami rambles, "I want the best for both of you, and you too, Austin. But before we can live happily ever after, I have to apologize for what I have done. I know I have hurt you all in the past. Austin, I can't help but think of the first time. Things are so different now. Oh, God, I could go on and on." Please don't.

Lucas says they all know what she has done. Lucas has two great loves – Carrie and the sound of his own voice.

"I'm lucky because you all have forgiven me," says Sami, "I want to thank you for that. Austin, you are such an amazing person and loving you has made me a better, and more talkative person."

Austin says he is proud of her.

"I wanna be a good role model to Lucas and Carrie's baby," says Sami, "Carrie, I am so excited for you. You will be a great mom. Carrie can't take it. She excuses herself. Lucas follows.

"Was it something I said," asks Sami.

Shawn tells Phillip this is hard but he and Belle are committed to their respective marriages. Belle has always been there for Phillip, "Don't turn your back on her." A mousy-looking Belle stares at Phillip.

The brat insists she will never be like Sami, "She is a loser when it comes to guys. I hear she has a closet full of wedding dresses. I know how to handle men. I will be with Max. I'm not going to let him end up with that bitch Stephanie."

Max thinks maybe Stephanie is right. Maybe folks like them aren't cut out for long-term relationships. Stephanie doesn't buy it. She thinks she takes after her dad, "He was wild when he was younger, but then he settled down. I'm sure he hasn't been in a bar fight in years. That's what I want." Max turns. She stares longingly at him.

Prevuze

Kayla thought Patch was becoming convinced his heart was in Salem. Della invites him to dance. He says no. Della goes into high gear, "Just one question – do you remember making love to this woman... I didn't think so. But you remember us making love. This is your life. This is where you belong. I'm not giving up on you. And I know you're not giving up on me. I'll wait by the bar." Patch and Kayla stare at each other.

Patch tells Kayla he never should have brought her there. He doesn't know if he is any good for her, "What if the DiMeras come after you and Stephanie because of me?"

Kayla says, "It was hard to live without you believing you were dead, but to live without you knowing you are alive and with someone else..."

Patch asks, "If I don't remember you, how can I be your husband?"

Max hopes they both find true love someday. He thinks Stephanie needs a guy who appreciates her intelligence, beauty and courage. He won't have that kind of relationship with Chelsea.

Abby warns Chelsea she will lose Max, "You never learn until you get burned." Chelsea goes back out to party.

Phillip knows his family needs him. He will never abandon them. He tells Belle he loves her and Claire and doesn't want to lose them. She was so afraid she was going to lose him.

Shawn tells Mimi things will work out as long as they are honest with each other. Dishonest Mimi stares.

Austin leaves to check and see if Carrie is OK.

"That was quite a little speech," says EJ, "Your friends have forgiven you for all this? And this secret is the worst thing you have ever done?"

"That's debatable," says Sami.

"Bloody hell," says EJ, "You need to tell Austin right now."

Carrie bawls. Lucas tries to help, "Honey, I know you're upset, but there's a baby out there somewhere..."

She cuts him off at the knees, "STOP IT, LUCAS! NO! I can't. I made a huge mistake." Austin comes up to the door and stares open jawed. FF.


Previews
========

Max asks, "Who would do something like this?" Stephanie says, "You have to ask?" Max says, "Steph, I'm sorry... I'm sorry." He hugs her as the brat watches.

Patch tells Kayla, "I don't want to hurt you more than I already have. It's time to say goodbye." Kayla looks hurt.

EJ tells Sami, "Your future lies in your hands. You need to make a choice."

Carrie tells Lucas, "I only married you because I thought I was pregnant." Austin listens outside and nearly has a heart attack.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK, I admit it....I fell for it...Got all excited...

...Shoulda known better...

{{{sigh}}}

4:44 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"I fell for it"

Yeah, well we still think you're smart. It's the writers who are despicable wads of slug feces for doing this.

5:49 AM  
Blogger Quiet one said...

I am getting a little sick of the old "it looks like something may actually be happening but it's only a dream/fantasay/nightmre scenario." I never believe anything until the end of the scene because they do it EVERYDAY!!!!!!!! ARRGGHHHH!!!

7:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*sigh* i got so excited, even though i knew in the back of my mind things were moving way too fast in that scene... i prepared in my head to tell my friend tomorrow is the day to watch and everything.

i wonder if the writers sit around and say "hmm, this is how i'm supposed to write? lets try it out once"... horrible.

7:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Love the Jack pic. Something finally brought him to life.

7:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great Prevuze as always!!

Yeah, I fell for it, too, hah. I'm a dumbass who hasn't learned any lessons from this stupid show.

About the P/K stuff...was Kayla crying/almost crying? Not liking this story!! And, ewwwww, Patch has been sleeping around! He needs to have an STD test!

7:56 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"was Kayla crying/almost crying?"

She was a little distraught in their last scene, but I don't think close to crying.

"He needs to have an STD test!"

A STupiD test? Oh, I guess that would be more useful for the clueless quartet.

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well at least Carrie is FINALLY being honest with Lucas.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't usually comment, I just read, but I had to chime in today and say that that Salem Inquirer headline was brilliant.

8:48 PM  

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