Wednesday, October 14, 2009

You Eat Men Up And Spit Them Out

Happy ole Bo sits in his easy chair and looks at a family album. He smiles his doofirific smile as Ciara rushes in. Bo hugs her and life is good. Ho-pe walks in. So much for life being good.

Carly tells the Bryan the attendant Rafe is doing well. Bryan morphs into the evil attendant and pulls a gun on her, "The tides have turned."

Sami sits on the park bench with Brady, "I'm not lecturing you." Sami continues her lecture. Brady defends Nicole's actions and says he was the one who had to tell Nicole she lost the baby. "After she learned that," says Sami, "Nicole must've been desperate."

Desperate Nicole storms into Daniel's apartment and scoops up Sydney. Chloe wants to know what happened. "Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse...," wails Nicole, "they renewed the DOOL for another season."

Chad stands at EJ's door. "What did you say," asks EJ.

Chad repeats, "I'm Sydney's father." He demands to see her right now.

Will comes to see Mia. She was expecting Chad, but apparently Will will do as a stand-in for her whinefest. Will tells her he misses her. Mia hugs, "I miss you, too."

Nicole wants to get out, "I didn't see it coming. The bastard threatened me."

"There are too many bastards in Salem," says Chloe, "You have to be more specific."

Daniel senses the female hormone level in the room rising. He consults the Guy Manual for some quick advice and does what any red-blooded guy would do. He busts through the door without opening it and runs for the nearest sports bar.

Nicole tells Chloe EJ is not the problem right now.

EJ stares at Chad, "Let's start with a name."

"Fred Frump," says Chad.

"I meant your name," says EJ.


"Chad Peterson Woods."

"Up till now," says EJ, "You've just been known to the viewers as Chad Peterson. Where did the 'Woods' come from?"

"Little seeds grew into big trees," says Chad.


"Why do you think you are Sydney's father," asks EJ.

"Mia told me."

EJ measures his words, "Well, you listen, Chad Peterson Woods, my wife legally adopted Sydney."

"I never signed away anything," says Chad, "I'm the baby's biological father, so the adoption can't be legal." Once again a teenager slices a Salem lawyer to ribbons.

Bryan says he has figured out who Carly is, "Elements in The Circle demand justice and I get $100,000 for my role in it. Look at the bright side... you are about to be reunited with your dearly departed husband."

Sami says she knows why Brady helped Nicole, "It's because you are still in love with her, right? It must have been difficult seeing her self destruct."

EJ invites Chad in. "I know mu rights," says Chad, "My parents are lawyers."

"As am I," says EJ.

"Yeah, but my parents are good lawyers," says Chad, "You should know the adoption was illegal. Were you a part of it?"

"We'll talk about the details later," says EJ, "Right now I want you to tell me everything you know."

"I want to see my baby first."

Nicole whines, "Chloe... it's complicated."

"And what am I," says Chloe, "too stupid to understand?"

BINGO!!!

EJ calls Nicole, "I was hoping you and Sydney would be able to come home." Nicole hangs up and her face lights up, "EJ wants us both to come home."

Prevuze

Will says he thinks Chad did something to Mia.

"He did," says Mia, "And nine months later this whole mess started. But what's important is what I did to you. I lied to you both about my little girl. I know where she is."

"Wow," says Will, "A Salem female who lies. There's a new concept. Next you'll be telling me the shocking news that the sun came up this morning."

Ciara informs Bo Mommy has decreed she can visit Daddy a lot. Daddy is so happy to see her he can't wait to get rid of her and he sends her upstairs. Hope tells Bo she's back so they can deal with their lives.

"But not in our house," asks Bo.

"No, not in our house."

Carly begs. Suddenly, Rafe returns from the dead and grabs Bryan's hand. Bryan struggles as Carly moves in and drop-kicks his manhood into the next time zone. DOWN GOES BRYAN. Carly grabs the gun, "STAY DOWN."

"That won't be a problem," squeaks Bryan.

Chloe and Daniel bill and coo. Daniel doesn't want to talk kids. Daniel pats himself on the back, "We haven't had sex since you got out of the hospital."

Sirens sound. Light flash. Fireworks explode. Daniel said the magic word, "SEX." Chloe grabs him and throws him onto the couch, pounces on him and begins to rip off his clothes. Daniel thinks they should stop. Chloe begs. Daniel changes his mind. Gee. that was tough.

Nicole arrives back at the DiMera mansion and bounces into the rumpus room babbling and chirping. Chad and EJ stand across the room looking something like the hooded executioners from the Inquisition. Nicole's mood changes.

Daniel and Chloe are knotted together in a writhing mass. Someone knocks. "Ignore it," screams Chloe. Daniel backs off. Chloe makes a futile attempt to rearrange her disheveled clothing and answers the door with it all... well, most of it... hanging out.

Judgmental Victor stands there, "Why am I not surprised seeing you looking as you always do?"

Bo tells Hope he's been reliving their life through the picture album, "It's a reminder of what we have had together, and it's more effective and faster than Ipecac. He invites her to look at it with him.

Self absorbed Hope don' wanna. She says she remembers the good times, but she also remembers the tough times, "They have come back to haunt us."

Omar comes into the stateroom and tells Carly evil Bryan won't bother her again, "And the sharks have been fed." Rafe stirs. Carly asks who he is.

Brady is upset Sami said he loves Nicole. He starts to leave but Sami stops him, "I know what it's like to be in love with someone and not be able to have that person with you."

We hear whispering in the audience...

"She's talking about Lucas."

"She's talking about EJ."

"She's talking about Rafe."


"I agree with you about Nicole," says Sami, "Her life is a mess right now, but she has (say it with her) been there for me. I just wish I could help."

Nicole starts to leave but Chad stops her. "Don't you touch my baby," snorts Nicole.

"She is not your baby," says Chad.

Chloe straightens herself up. "Your brassiere is showing," scolds Victor, "You'd best cover up." Victor says he is there to smooth things over, "I thought I should do that after calling Chloe a 'whooore.' I've also been thinking of how much you mean to me, Daniel."

Victor has the pocket watch Daniel's father gave him on the day of Daniel's christening, "It has a guardian angel on it and I think that's a role I haven't been living up to. I want you to take it and look at it as a symbol of my effort to do better. That includes Chloe too. From now on I'll just refer to her as a cheap slut instead of a whooore."

"You might change your mind after I tell you this," says Daniel, "You should know Chloe and I are living together. We will do that until we are married and then for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Mia tells Will that Nicole helped her with the delivery. Will can't believe Sydney is her baby, but thinks it's all starting to make sense. Mia says, "I think Nicole can provide for Sydney better than Chad or I could. Especially being homeless and on the street." Mia tells Will Chad agreed to stop looking for their baby if she would give up Will. Will is stunned.

EJ tells Nicole to put Sydney in her crib. "Chad has every right to see her."

Chad checks Sydney out, "She's perfect." EJ asks for a moment alone with Nicole. Chad asks to take Sydney. EJ says no. Chad gives him a parting shot, "Seeing her for the first time... I didn't know I could feel like this."

"I know exactly how you feel," says EJ, "Surprises like this have been happening to me on a regular basis lately."

Alone now, Nicole accuses EJ of tricking him. He blows his stack and demands the truth.

Bo repeats, "Our past has come back to haunt us. It sounds like a line out of a romance novel."

"A bad one," says Hope. She thinks there are resentments they haven't resolved. The resentment has a name and the name is Patrick. Hope brings up all the covering up Bo did for Chelsea when Zack died. Apparently talking things to death isn't the same thing as resolving things.

Bo says, "What you are suggesting is that we re-talk-to-death everything we have talked about before." Hope drags out that old reliable dead horse and the talking starts. Bo doesn't want to dwell on the past. Hope, however, is the queen of all past-dwellers. Bo pours out his heart. Hope takes if from him and stomps it under her heel.

Bo asks, "What more do you want? What more is there?" Hope takes out a sharp knife and goes for the groin.

Rafe shivers. Dr. Carly says they have to get him to a hospital.

EJ grits his teeth, "You told me she was legally adopted but she isn't is she?" Nicole stammers and says Mia wanted her to have her baby.

"A father has a say in his daughter's life, Nicole."

Nicole floods the room with tears, "I can't lose Sydney." Sydney watches the scene and hopes to float away in the deluge.

Victor says he disapproves of Daniel and Chloe's living arrangement. Daniel gets a call and has to leave. Victor unleashes the attitude.

"I know you're unhappy about this," says Chloe.

Victor is sarcastic, "How astute of you. I don't react per se to you living together. You're fickle, insubstantial, disloyal and you eat men up and spit them out. But I have to be a part of Daniel's life, which includes you. I will give you a chance for Daniel's sake. I Hope you prove me wrong." Victor leaves.

Chloe closes the door, "Maybe he will come around."

Victor stands on the other side of the door, "That bitch will self destruct and I will have a front row seat."

Mia tells Will she only pretended to be mad at him. She says she really didn't want to break up, but did it for her baby, "My relationship with Chad isn't real."

"Hmmm...," says Will, "Apparently a fake relationship can pump out a real baby."

"The only person I want to be with or care about is you," whines Mia.

Chad knocks at the rumpus room door. EJ lets him back in. He tells him to say goodbye to Sydney and leave. Chad protests. EJ tells him, "I know what it's like to discover unexpectedly you're a father. If your father is a lawyer, you should know you can't just walk in and take her out. I have been respectful and expect the same from you."

"I'll go," says Chad, "But it's not over."

Out in the audience, Maude turns to Gert, "I was afraid of that."

Chad gives Sydney a look and leaves. Nicole thanks EJ for doing what was best for Sydney, "You're going to help us, right?"

Brady finds Victor at the pier. Victor rants, "My godson is a bloody idiot. He's a doctor but he has his head up his you know what."

Brady asks, "This is about Chloe, isn't it?"

"Brilliant," scoffs Victor, "That woman destroyed your life, Phillip's life and I'll be damned if she gets a shot a Daniel."

Hope says they need time to solve their problems.

"It sounds like you didn't hear a word I said," says Bo.

"That sure sounds familiar," says Hope, "That's what I said when the kidnappers had our daughter. You and Ciara spend some time together and we'll talk about visitation." Ciara comes downstairs. She figured the discussion needed some adult supervision. Hope tells her to have a great time with her dad. She pawns her off on Bo and leaves. Bo stares.

Omar leaves to get the dingy cranked up. The ding-bat attends to Rafe.

Rafe mumbles, "The baby..."

Chad arrives a Mia's and demands to know what Will is doing there.

"Forget about that," says Mia, "I want to know what you have done."

EJ says he hasn't agreed to help Nicole. Nicole claims she has been a good mother. Sami walks in and watches the show as Nicole rants, "I will die before I will let that jerk take my baby."

Sami asks, "Somebody is going to take your baby?"

Sydney chimes in, "That's what I'm praying for."


NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


8 Comments:

Anonymous Berg said...

Censored link hysterical today!!! Best part of the show?? Gimme a V - a I - a C - T - O - R..what's that spell??? All the women of Salem answer "Vaia Store!" Well it is Salem afterall.

Happy Hump Day and Prevuze keep it down over here will ya?

3:50 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

He smiles his doofirific smile as Ciara rushes in.

That’s the same smile Lucas has!

"Chad Peterson Woods."

"Up till now," says EJ, "You've just been known to the viewers as Chad Peterson. Where did the 'Woods' come from?"

"Little seeds grew into big trees," says Chad.

…and a rewrite that flew out of the butts of the DOOL creative team.

"I'm the baby's biological father, so the adoption can't be legal." Once again a teenager slices a Salem lawyer to ribbons.

The DOOL teens have proven to be the most mature, sensible, and intelligent citizens of Salem.

“It must have been difficult seeing her self destruct."

Not half as difficult as it has been on the viewers watching the Brady/Nicole/EJ nonsense.

Will says he thinks Chad did something to Mia.

"He did," says Mia, "And nine months later this whole mess started.

Mia had a Salem miracle baby. The gestation period was the requisite nine months.

Sami stops him, "I know what it's like to be in love with someone and not be able to have that person with you."

We hear whispering in the audience...

"She's talking about Lucas."

"She's talking about EJ."

"She's talking about Rafe."

Sami must be talking about herself. Apparently, she has misplaced one on her personalities.

"Your brassier is showing," scolds Victor, "You'd best cover up."

Victor must be auditioning for a job on “What Not To Wear” or he heads up Salem's fashion police.

Victor says he disapproves of Daniel and Chloe's living arrangement.

Unless Daniel is in Victor’s will, why should he care what Victor thinks. The guy has got be at least 40 so Daniel is certainly old enough to make bad decisions all on his own.

Bo and Hope – does anyone really care? Is that the sound of chirping crickets that I’m hearing in the background?

Prevuze the censored link was hysterical, and it’s good to know that Kate will have C-E-Ho after her name on the DiMera Enterprises stationary. Happy hump day everyone!

5:46 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Many great LOL moments for me today. The aforementioned Kate as C-E-HO, Daniel & Chloe waiting to cheat, Carly moves in and drop-kicks his manhood into the next time zone, and of course the censored link.

I was also happy to see that Luke O. Sistine was still up to his dirty tricks, Bulldog.

Bo repeats, "Our past has come back to haunt us. It sounds like a line out of a romance novel."

Even the writers recognize this stuff as drivel – bad drivel.

Once again a teenager slices a Salem lawyer to ribbons.

Chad has GOT IT GOING ON! Apparently people start out smart in Salem, dumb down in their middle years and sharpen up again in old age.

Which brings me to, as Berg said, the best parts of today's episode - Victor. Boy, a DAYS without Victor is like a day without sunshine.

Thanks for bringing a lot of sunshine to this ugly, cloudy day Prevuze!

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

OOH! Head rush from stifling my laughter over "It's a reminder of what we have had together" and it's more effective and faster than Ipecac. Why doesn't that idiot Bo grow a pair and kick Hope's butt to the curb? Sue ol' moneybags for alimony AND full custody. Why just once can't they do something interesting (and halfway realistic) and do that?!?!??!??! Sorry, rant over.

Sami asks, "Somebody is going to take your baby?" Oh the dramatic foreshadowing!

Hope drags out the old reliable dead horse Where's the cute beating the dead horse thingey we had the other day? I guess if Prevuze used that every time it's appropriate it would be on just about every paragraph.

"I'll go," says Chad, "But it's not over." Out in the audience, Maude turns to Gert, "I was afraid of that." Me, too, Maude. But one thing we're glad isn't over is Prevuze!

Great censored link. Thanks for the cheer - and head rush - today! :D

8:28 AM  
Blogger Wolf said...

Is it just me or does Nicole look pregnant in her latest outfit?

Ho-pe is such a bitch! Fast forward is my best friend when those two idiots come on the screen!

10:21 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Is it just me or does Nicole look pregnant in her latest outfit?

Arianne Zucker, the actress who plays Nicole is pregnant.

11:22 AM  
Blogger Wolf said...

Well that's cool that Arianne is pregnant. Thanks Prevuze!!!

1:25 PM  
Blogger deepak said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:55 PM  

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