Saturday, October 10, 2009

Swindled

Every week it's the same thing. I rack my brain for something to say on Saturday. Sometimes it works, sometimes I come up as empty as a Salem Mensa meeting.

Prevuze

This week... the rack was pretty much empty. All I can think of is here in the U.S., we have a big Holiday on Monday... Columbus Day. It commemorates the fact (or legend, depending on your point of view) that Christopher Columbus discovered the "New World." It's also a day set aside to honor the achievements of people of Italian descent.

Many Native Americans, knowing what followed, don't get too festive about the whole idea. But that brings to mind one little-known legend that might interest you.

It seems Chris, upon landing here, found a beautiful stretch of land with a crystal clear river running though it, a lake with an island in the middle and, oddly, a single park bench. Taken with the beauty of the place, he figured he'd swindle the indigenous population out of this beautiful area and purchase it for next to nothing. He offered to buy it for $24 worth of beads and trinkets and, to be generous, threw in a Christmas bulb with "Christopher" written on it.

The Indians immediately snapped up the deal (Columbus called the Native American's "Indians" because he thought he had discovered the place where one day all call centers and help desks would be located).

Anyway, the Indians took the loot and got out while the gettin' was good. Before they left, however they told Chris and his gang the place was named "Salem," which meant "land of the dim bulbs, flashbacks and neverending stories."

Today, over 500 years later, that crystal clear river has become so toxic you don't dare throw a lit match into it (bodies, however are still dumped there on a daily basis), there is still no way to get to that island in the lake except to take a leaky rowboat, and Salem is still a one-park-bench town. In other words, Columbus was the one who got swindled.

So, however you celebrate the day, I Hope you make it a good one and I'll leave you with this...

In fourteen-hundred and ninety two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He found the place where he was going.
Shawn and Belle... they'd still be rowing.

See you bright and early on Monday.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


8 Comments:

Blogger JamieLynn said...

Love your little rhyme with Shawn and Belle

5:02 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Not only does Prevuze help us poor mortals get through our week day with a daily doze of snark, Prevuze seems to have a never ending treasure trove of sports trivia, new vocabulary words, and little known facts.

Today's gem is the sort of historical tidbit they just don't teach you in school. Who knew Columbus could sail the Santa Maria right up the Salem River? Who knew the Native Americans liked park benches. Who knew painted Christmas bulbs were a "thing" back in the fifteenth century?

Apparently Prevuze knew and so I salute Prevuze (the best history blog on the Internet®), Italian Americans, Native Americans, North American Americans....well you get my drift.

Oh, and let's not forget Prevuze, the best poetry blog on the Internet® -

He found the place where he was going.
Shawn and Belle... they'd still be rowing
.

LOLOL

BTW – Happy Thanksgiving weekend to our Canadian American friends!

6:22 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Thanks Prevuze for making my morning! A day is just not a day without my morning edition of this nonsense otherwise known as the "Prevuze snarkiness"...but to have it on Saturday is a true blessings! May we all have a happy Columbus Day in the US, and Thanksgiving week-end for our neighbors in the North...and give many thanks to Chris for being duped by the Natives when he aquired property on the banks of the Salem river. Who new that 500 years later we'd still be duped by watching this drivel, otherwise known as "an eppisode of DOOL" and enjoying that park bench just as much as Chris did when he sat on the bench and thought to himself "Hey, the best things in life are free"...the park bench comes with the territory!!!

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Shawn and Belle... they'd still be rowing."

LMAO! I bet Claire needs GPS to locate both her parents.

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

After spending too many hours on the construction site known as I94, I happily sat down at my PC and opened my favorites to Prevuze to find a special holiday bonus edition!! What a lovely Columbus Day tale! It almost made me want to pick up the phone in search of a customer service call center somewhere in a land far, far away. Thankfully, I immediately abandoned the idea. Anyway, I did drive over the Fox River and can report that neither the Santa Maria nor Shawn and Belle were sailing on it today.

Happy Thanksgiving Canada!!! If it weren't for you guys there wouldn't be a days ahead blog called Prevuze!

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Late getting to Prevuze today but well worth it!

I'm betting I will shed a tear for Christopher when his Christmas bulb is nestled on the Horton tree right between Jugs and Doolie's.

Yes, happy Thanksgiving to Canada and our sympathy to those not too far north of us already digging out from snow today. Yikes!

Loved Bo's picture altho there's just not a lot he's gonna be able to do to spruce himself up. Unless he had a major cleaning crew.

Thanks for the great special Saturday edition, Prevuze!

4:48 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Happy Thanksgiving Canada!!! If it weren't for you guys there wouldn't be a days ahead blog called Prevuze!

And, believe me, I'll carry that grudge for a long time.

4:59 AM  
Anonymous Shelley Keddy said...

Happy Columbus Day and to my fellow Canadians Happy Thanksgiving. Sorry for the westerners which I saw on the news got snow, luckily down here in the East it is much warmer and only rain. Thanks Prevuze for all you do and loved the line about Shawn and Belle.

8:08 PM  

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