Thursday, April 02, 2009

Disingenuous Crap

Hope rushes into the pub. Bo tells her Phillip won't be charged with Tony's murder, "They've ruled Tony's death an accident."

"Who's they," asks Hope.

"The cops," says Bo, "Sometimes they tell me what they are doing."


Roman joins them. Bo flashes to Roman and Hope in bed.

Mia finds Will at the Java Café. She says she has registered for classes at Salem High, "I heard the Java Café is where all the cool kids hang."

"You got that right," says Will.

"So what are you doing here," asks Mia.

"I'm trying to wrap my head around something."

"Head lice," asks Mia.

"They're too big to wrap my brain around," says Will, "My mom adopted a baby and brought her home."

"From what I've heard of your mom," says Mia, "it's no shock that she adopted a baby but it's a real shock that she brought it home."

Sister Teresa is at Sami's place to talk to her about hiding the truth.

Stefano rambles on about Tony. Oh, the angst! He disses Anna, "That bitch had no right to walk away with Tony's ashes. It's a good thing I switched them with the ashes from my last cigar."

EJ asks, "Since we cremated him, won't it be harder to have him come back from the dead?"

"The writers will just say he had a bad sunburn,," says Stefano, "Hell, the last time he died he was eaten by a tiger and when they brought him back they called it a case of feline indigestion."

Prevuze

"But, "sighs Stefano, "my son is dead and Phillip is walking around a free man because of that traitorous whore you are marrying."

"I won't let you talk about her that way," says EJ, "Only I can call her a traitorous whore."

Nicole wanders at the pier and flashes back to Tony's fall.

Thaao Penghlis walks onto the set and addresses the audience, "I know you're upset I'm gone, but please don't worry about me. I'll live very comfortably off the residuals from that fall as DOOL shows it over and over and over again."

Brady meets Nicole. She tells him Phillip will has agreed to keep his mouth shut since Nicole stood up for him, "But by doing that, I may have just killed my future with EJ."

EJ reminds Stefano he said he was happy EJ found someone to love, "Was that disingenuous crap?"

"Everything on this show is disingenuous crap," says Stefano.

EJ continues to lecture. He wants to know what Stefano has against Nicole. Stefano says he just wants to think about the son he lost, not EJ. EJ tells him after they are married they will stay somewhere else, not at the mansion. Stefano stares.

Nicole insists EJ will never get over this. She thinks he'll always see her connected to Tony's death, "You think this is a good thing, don't you?"

Brady nods his head, "Yep." Nicole stares.

Kate takes out some onionskin and puts Dr. Dan's prescription under it.

Chloe is at the hospital. She tells the nurse she's there to talk about a replacement for her doctor, "Dr. Van Allen was never even on the show and the budget cuts are so deep they even fired him. I wonder who his replacement will be."

Daniel comes skipping down the hall whistling "Roll Me Over In The Clover."

The nurse tells Chloe, "You're looking at him."

Mia says she's sure Sami had a good reason to adopt. Will says she doesn't need a good reason to do anything. Mia asks what the baby looks like. Brooding will dunno. Mia tells him he can't be like that and asks him to promise to love the baby. Will promises. Will says he has a free period right now and will go see the baby if she goes with him.

Sami insists Grace's father will never find out about her. Sister Teresa says, "I will pray for you and for Grace."

God steps in, "Tis a good thing that thou wilst pray for Grace. For Samantha, however... Thou shouldst not waste thy breath."

Sami tells Sister Teresa, "I don't have doubts about this. Having EJ out of my life for good would be a blessing."

Kate traces Daniel's signature. She looks at her work, wads up the paper and tosses it in the waste basket. She tries again. Trace... Wad... Toss... Trace... Wad... Toss... Trace... Wad... Toss...

Daniel says he tried to find another doctor for Chloe, but the closest qualified doctor is in Maywood. (There are no qualified doctors in Salem) "Maywood," repeats Chloe, "That's 100 miles form here! He might as well be in Timbuktu."

"Which, coincidentally," says Daniel, "Is also 100 miles from here."

The nurse interrupts this gripping conversation, "The exam room is ready. I scattered rose petals on top of the gurney just as you requested."

Bo tells Roman he wants a favor, "Until I tell you otherwise, stay away from my wife."

Prevuze

Stefano twiddles a cigar. He gets a call from Italy, "Pronto. Si. Gracia." He hangs up and turns to EJ, "One day you'll know who Nicole really is and you'll be a broken man."

Brady lectures Nicole about the lies and deception. Nicole wants a little sympathy. Brady wants a good script. He says if she wants to marry EJ, he wishes her luck. Brady leaves. Nicole whimpers and stares.

Chloe sits on her gurney and remembers hot sex with Dr. D. Her boytoy walks in. Daniel stares. Chloe stares.

Sami says she just can't talk about this. We should be so lucky. Sister Teresa tells her to think about what she said and leaves. Sami stares.

EJ sips his drink as Nicole walks in, "I'm back."

"Yeah."

"Is Sydney asleep?"

"She is."

"Is it just you."

"He's upstairs."

And the nominee for the most soporific dialogue is...

Nicole asks, "Did I give you guys enough time? I know your father doesn't want me around. I assume he hasn't changed his mind."

Silence.

Nicole tries again, "What about you? Do you still think I haven't lived up to the DiMera code? That I should have sent an innocent man to prison?"

"I think you know he isn't innocent," says EJ, "There is too much coincidence."

Nicole bawls because EJ has no faith in her. EJ says he wants to be alone. Nicole asks, "Before I go I have to know... is the wedding still off?" EJ stares.

Dr. Daniel completes his examination, "Well, you look great. You seem to be healthy, too." Chloe stops him as he starts to leave and apologizes for having been reluctant to have him as her doc. She's glad they have moved on. Daniel says he isn't proud he was willing to interfere with her life. He made the wrong choice. He's learned from it and would never do it again... to anyone, "I'm not the same man."

Chloe understands, "That's the same thing John Black said to Marlena."

"Yeah," says Daniel, "Many times, if I remember correctly."

Roman wonders if something is wrong. Bo insists it's nothing. Roman walks off. "It's nothin," repeats Bo.

Will and Mia arrive at Sami's place and Will makes the introductions. Sami tells him they have met and they all make small talk about school. "I'm on a free period says Will, so we came to see the baby."

Humpf. When I was in high school and had a free period, they had armed guards stationed around the school and if you tried to leave the property they mowed you down and asked questions later. Just sayin'...

Will decides he wants to call Carrie and Austin, "I like to keep track of who each of them are cheating with every week."

Sami flashes back to the days of yore when she switched Will's blood type. She looks at Grace, "I just keep making the same mistakes."

"You know the old definition of insanity," says Grace, "That's when you keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result."

EJ says he doesn't want to cancel the wedding. Nicole says she wasn't expecting that answer. EJ says Sydney is the most important thing. Stefano walks in and listens. Nicole thinks this is about Sydney. EJ says in time maybe they can get past the fact that they totally hate each other, "Now we have to do the responsible thing and that is to get m... m... m... the m-word.

Nicole turns to Stefano and asks if he can accept this and give them his blessing. Stefano stares.

Our statistics show yesterday 59% clicked to see EJ naked, 41% to see Chloe naked. Of those 17% clicked BOTH. Hmmm...

Daniel is a changed man. Yessir. All he wants is for Chloe to have a long and happy life. He says maybe someday love will come to him again. One grope for old times sake and he leaves. Chloe stares.

Will and Mia come back out and Will asks where the twins are. Grandma Caroline has them, of course. Suddenly, magically, Will has two free periods. Sami grabs the opportunity and asks if they can watch Grace while she goes to see EJ. Will asks if this can wait. Sami says no and rushes out. "Who was that woman," asks Grace.

Stefano says Sydney is his granddaughter, Nicole is her mother, they are family and he will not turn his back on her. He gives his blessing.

Mia is reluctant to come and see Grace. Grace cries. Will panics. Will rocks the crib likes one of those machines that shakes a can of paint. No good. Will begs, "Come on, stop crying." Mia steps in and shoves him away. She rocks the crib slower.

"Thank God I don't have teeth yet," says Grace, "They'd be all over the room after that ride." Mia soothes. Grace quiets down and smiles.

Sami meets Bo at the Java Café. She knew better than to look for him at his office. She says she needs to talk to him.

Kate has mastered Daniel's signature. She gets a call from Chloe, who asks if she wants to talk about the TV job. Kate does indeed. Kate says she has a minor thing to do and will call after lunch. She hangs up, calls Chelsea to ask to meet her for lunch. Chelsea agrees. After lunch Kate wants Chelsea to give her a tour of the hospital. She's hardly ever been there.

Stefano tells EJ he believes Nicole told the truth as she sees it, but there is one thing he will never believe and that is that Tony's death was an accident, "When we find out what really happened, Phillip and his family will pay for Tony's death, and they will pay dearly."

Roman sits at the bar in the pub. Hope pops in and sits beside him. Roman jumps off his stool, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cross. He holds it up between himself and Hope. Hope asks, "This is because of Bo isn't it?" Roman stares.

Sami reminds Bo of her Austin switcheroo caper. She wonders if that had lasting damage for Will.

"No," says Bo, "you being his mother had lasting damage." Sami wonders if Will will ever get over it, "Do you think he will?"

Bo shakes his head, "No, Sami, I don't."

Sami stares.

Nicole brings Sydney in for her 10,000 mile checkup. Unfortunately, Dr. Salinger, who has also never been on screen, has also been fired as a result of budget cuts. Nicole wonders, "Who, oh, who will replace Dr. Salinger?"

"Here he comes now," says the nurse.

Uh-oh. Dr. Baker comes skipping down the hall whistling "The Funeral March of the Marionette." He sees Nicole, "Well, well, well... just like old times." Nicole stares.

Grace cries. Mia hands Will a rattle. Will says, "Thanks. Do you have one for Grace? " Grace keeps crying and Will picks her up. The crying stops. Will offers to let Mia hold her. Mia stares.

Roman babbles and runs out of the pub screaming. Hope stares, "That happens to me a lot."

Sami reminds Bo of Caroline's switcheroo. "A lie is a lie," says Bo. He gets a call and goes off to take it. Sami takes out a picture of Grace and... stares.

Stefano rants, "Anthony is gone and nothing will ever bring him back. I think we should focus on your wedding. Let's forge ahead with courage and not let this tragedy mar the joyous occasion. I will not let anything interfere with your happiness." EJ... you know.

Sami looks at the picture of Grace, "I can't do this. I can't hurt you like Will. Damn the consequences." Sami stands up and suddenly sees the headline on the newspaper, "TONY DIMERA DIES AGAIN!"

As Bo comes back, Sami asks, "Is Tony dead?"

"Don't worry," says Bo, "It's only temporary."

Sami panics, "I have to go see EJ." Sami bolts.

Bo (say it with me...) stares.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews, which should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE



16 Comments:

Anonymous Berg said...

"Everything on this show is disingenuous crap," says Stefano.

Truer words have never been spoken - amen Stefano, amen.

Yes, we will miss you Thaao, because I don't think they will be flashing back to you after today with budget cuts and all.

Why does Dr. Dan get to grope every woman in Salem. Are Lexie and Dan the only two doctors now at this hospital? Oh yeah and Dr. Baker?

Will is scarred for life? Every kid on this show is scarred for life. In fact, you could say, the entire audience is scarred for life after the double sex in the elevator scenes. Oh I know you all wanted to forget that moment.

I get a feeling this craptastic wedding is going to go through anyways. We are going to get all this drama and buildup who will stop the wedding and it will end up being no one.

Get your barf bags now folks, buckle in, it's going to be a very bumpy ride.

3:59 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

"The writers will just say he had a bad sunburn,," says Stefano, "Hell, the last time he died he was eaten by a tiger and when they brought him back they called it a case of feline indigestion."

Since Tony is rather hirsute, it could also have been a hairball.

"I won't let you talk about her that way," says EJ, "Only I can call her a traitorous whore."

…along with numerous blogs and fan sites.

"Dr. Van Allen was never even on the show and the budget cuts are so deep they even fired him. I wonder who his replacement will be."

Daniel comes skipping down the hall whistling "Roll Me Over In The Clover."

The nurse tells Chloe, "You're looking at him."


Since he is taking over the practice, is Dr. McCreepy wearing the Van Allen belt? Yes Berg, the writers would like us to believe there only two flipping doctors at Salem University Hospital. While Salem is in an alternate universe, do we really have to suspend this much reality? Message to writers…get a clue. It’s a university hospital. The place should be crawling with qualified physicians. Geez!

Stefano says Sydney is his granddaughter, Nicole is her mother, they are family and he will not turn his back on her. He gives his blessing.

About face! Stefano just made a 180 degree turn in the same episode or perhaps I’m suffering some memory loss. Didn’t he just call Nicole a traitorous whore or was that just disingenuous crap?

Nicole wonders, "Who, oh, who will replace Dr. Salinger?"

"Here he comes now," says the nurse.

Uh-oh. Dr. Baker comes skipping down the hall whistling "The Funeral March of the Marionette." He sees Nicole, "Well, well, well... just like old times." Nicole stares.


DOOL has reached a new high or is it a new low…they’ve managed to recycle a script within the same episode. Did they think we wouldn’t notice, are they passing it off as symmetry, or is it déjà vous all over again?

…so many unseen doctors due to so many budget cuts. Will the carnage never end? Let’s hope that DOOL has a better fate than “The Guiding Light”. With this kind of writing, I’m not sure that’s possible.

Berg, thanks for channeling some Margo Channing, and Prevuze, thanks for reporting all the disingenuous crap.

5:37 AM  
Anonymous Lemongrass Soup said...

If there wasn't going to be a wedding, Nicole would have signed a pre-nup.

Higley will drag this out until we're dead.

5:39 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Stefano rants, "Anthony is gone and nothing will ever bring him back.
Given DOOL's penchant for returning characters from the dead, I actually found this my biggest LOL moment of the day!

6:09 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Since Tony is rather hirsute, it could also have been a hairball.

Leslie, that was perfect!

My first HUH?! moment today:
Will says he has a free period right now and will go see the baby if she goes with him.

It’s in the middle of the school day and they are hanging out at the Java Café? Will has a free period, so he’s going to go over to him mom’s apartment? Has high school changed that much since I went? I know it was back in the Middle Ages, but even then students couldn’t go off school grounds during school hours. And that was before the need for school security and metal detectors at the doors!!

And the nominee for the most soporific dialogue is...

Hey, give the writers a break. They had to come up with that big word disingenuous in the script earlier and they were tired.

My second HUH?!-worthy moment:
Roman wonders if something is wrong.

Let me pause to wrap my small brain around that reaction…Wonder if something is wrong? Out of the blue your brother just told you to stay away from his wife. Wouldn’t your reaction be more like, “What the hell are you talking about you jackass? Why are you telling me to stay away from Hope?”

Humpf. When I was in high school and had a free period, they had armed guards stationed around the school and if you tried to leave the property they mowed you down and asked questions later. Just sayin'...

See my earlier comment. Apparently Prevuze and I attended similar high schools. LOLOL

Thanks for the uplifting recap (and the cool repeat of the Tony bucket o' blood cartoon) Prevuze.

6:59 AM  
Anonymous Victoria said...

It's been 12 years since I was in high school but we didn't have to be at the school during our spares. We could leave without any hassle, maybe a small town thing?

7:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our statistics show yesterday 59% clicked to see EJ naked, 41% to see Chloe naked. Of those 17% clicked BOTH.

Well, I wanted to see if it took me to a different video. Honest.

And in my home town students were allowed to leave for lunch. You were suppossed to come back though, even if all you had were study halls!

7:16 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

is Dr. McCreepy wearing the Van Allen belt?

GROOOOOAAAANNNN!

Leslie is on the verge of a game misconduct when she redeems herself with...

DOOL has reached a new high or is it a new low…they’ve managed to recycle a script within the same episode.

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So many stares so little time.....

This show needs to walk towards the light and not be afraid,let the Light Guide you............

This is my Huh momment:
Stefano says:
my son is dead and Phillip is walking around a free man because of that traitorous whore you are marrying."
and then says:He hangs up and turns to EJ, "One day you'll know who Nicole really is and you'll be a broken man."
and then says this:
Stefano says Sydney is his granddaughter, Nicole is her mother, they are family and he will not turn his back on her. He gives his blessing.

I really hope he is up to something, but with these writers I doubt it.

-Jean

Nicole's Gal manual was too funny! So true!

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Don't tell me after (what seemed like) a year and a half hiding-the-pregnancy-and-baby thing Sami has now decided to tell all? Where's Hope with her gun when you need her - for Sami AND the viewers!?

Apparently Prevuze, Applecheeks and I all went to the same high school. You couldn't leave school for anything - lunch, free periods, anything. Much less to go babysit your mom's latest bundle of joy. If you did it was an immediate "8th hour", the dreaded hour you had to stay after school. I'd jotted this down to comment on, too, so that must've made a real impression on us old fogeys. HAHAHAHA

There is NOTHING better than a blast from Prevuze past!! LOL over the tiger cartoon. For those of you not enjoying Prevuze during the Salem Serial Killer daze you missed some great ones.

Great new ones, too: staying away from Hope being better than a promotion and "I scattered those rose petals across the gurney just as you requested."

Thanks, Prevuze, for the cheer on a gloomy rainy day. :D

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

They had to come up with that big word disingenuous in the script earlier and they were tired.

Applecheeks, I confess to being impressed that disingenuous was used as an adjective instead of a noun.

In high school, my free periods were called study halls. They were presided over by a teacher who was just as unhappy to be there as I was. Hall passes were not optional, and there was no way you could escape the confines of our fine learning institution. The school boasted 4,000 students, and one of them was Hillary Rodham. In those days, she was a Young Republican.

8:43 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

Edit - apparently, some of my points were mentioned already. But oh well.

"That bitch had no right to walk away with Tony's ashes
I agree with Stefano, she's only his wife. She lacks the strength and wherewithal to stick him on a island for 20 years. That's love, baby.

Mia tells him he can't be like that and asks him to promise to love the baby. Will promises.
My goodness, things move awfully quick. This is what? Their second meeting and she's already holding him to promises??

I also wasn't allowed to leave school grounds when I had a free period. Unless the free period was my final period, which was incredibly rare. Boo!

LOL on the statistical analysis of the clickers.

Will panics. Will rocks the crib likes one of those machines that shakes a can of paint.
Seriously, with all the damn babies on the show and in the Brady family, Will can't calm a baby??

Stefano tells EJ he believes Nicole told the truth as she sees it, but there is one thing he will never believe and that is that Tony's death was an accident,
A total about face... But kudos, this much, much, more reasonable. And believable. Somewhat.

Bo shakes his head, "No, Sami, I don't."
Wasn't, he like a baby when this happened? Toddler? He can't be 'over it' because it's never affected him in the first place. If this happened maybe a few years ago, then of course. Otherwise, pretty weak.

Unless I'm totally wrong.

Re: the Wedding - Hopefully they'll be a wedding and Brady crashes through some plate glass on a scooter and then... um... hmm...

8:58 AM  
Blogger heather said...

Klaus--*LOL* at the image of Brady crashing through on a scooter--in my mind's eye, the glass is stronger than the scooter, and from inside the church, there's just this whining of an engine, then a thud as a shadow hits the stained glass, and a groan and a squeak of skin sliding down glass.

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Berg said...

Oh Heather...if only!

I gotta agree, the prenup would be signed already if we weren't getting a stinkin wedding. In typical predictable fashion (and I am guessing that Higley is ready to toast herself at how clever she is with thinking she has us all fooled to see who will STOP the wedding) - the wedding will take place. But not without some serious craptastic moments (hey I used craptastic twice today).

Lemongrass soup was right - Higley will drag this whole thing out until we are dead - in which case - someone quick feel my pulse (unless your name is Lexie or Dan).

Leslie, I use to think Passions was the worst show on tv but now I am wondering.....

2:42 PM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Passions was really bad...I'm not sure if it was the all time worse or not, but it wasn't good that's for sure! GL just got canned, so I hope that DOOL starts getting it's act together and delivers better plots than this beaten to death baby swap s/l or the sleazy sex in adjacent elevators s/l. I saw a poll on the NBC site on Ej and Nicole's anticipated wedding. It seems like over 70% of the people interested in watching this crap are not really interested in watching this crappy wedding...so, have faith my fellow Prevuzites, there's a glimmer of hope at the end of this long dark tunnel.

7:55 PM  
Anonymous Saggy Baskets said...

Hoping, praying and begging that Stefano's about face is due to him keeping his family close, but his enemy closer.

Lemongrass is right. There will be a wedding and this storyline will drag out until February sweeps. By the time EJ opens his eyes Sami will be "in love" with Rafe.

I've come to accept the predictibility, I just ask for a couple of surprises along the way.

5:18 AM  

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