Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Thick Crust Or Regular?

Sami grunts and groans, huffs and puffs, gasps and heaves. "One more push," yells Dr. Baker. Sami pushes. Baby pops. The doctor screams, "It's a girl!" After all that it must be a girl elephant.

Sami bellows, "Let me see her!" Uh oh. Dr. Baker gives us the look of doom. Sami goes over the edge, "What's wrong? What's happening with my baby?"

Chloe sits in the pub and remembers her soft porn take with Daniel. She checks messages and gets Daniel's voicemail saying he can't come between her and Lucas. Chloe zones, "He's right. He did the right thing."

Daniel contemplates calling again, "No, you did the right thing."

Kate shows up and interrupts Daniel's moment of introspection. She says she didn't like the way they ended things, "I was a bit hasty."

Daniel gasps, "Did you change your mind?"

Sleazo figures Sami is at the convent as Rafe loosens his bindings. Now Sleazo says he has no use for Rafe. He points his gun. Rafe springs. It's a raucous floor-rollin' hair-pullin' manly slappin' gen-u-wine me-lee as the boys tumble across the floor taking pets, furniture and other debris with them.

Nicole comes to the clinic. The parking lot is full and she has to park fourteen blocks away, but in spite of that she hears Sami screaming.

The Rafe-Sleazo cage match continues.

Sami badgers Dr. Baker. Baker tries to be diplomatic, "It looks like your baby will need a bit of extra medical attention."


Dr. Baker leaves the room with the baby and Sami takes going bonkers to new levels.

Chloe contemplates her phone. She finally dials.

Daniel says, "I know it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind but I wonder if you're just jerkin' my chain?" A call interrupts. Daniel sees it's Chloe and blows it off.

Kate says she is there to find out how Daniel feels about what happened, "So tell me, what do you think about it."

"It is what it is."

"But it was what it was," says Kate.

"But now it isn't what it was," says Daniel.

"But I'm wondering if it will be what it was," says Kate.

"It will be what it will be," says Daniel.

"Damn you're hard to talk to," says Kate.

"Who wouldn't be," asks Daniel, "with dialog like this?"

Chloe leaves a message for Daniel and says they need to talk. Maggie snoops up and overhears. She asks if Chloe is having problems with Lucas.

Nicole listens as Sami blithers and snots, "This is all my fault because I didn't get regular checkups!"

"From a psychiatrist," says Sister Teresa.


Never mind. That was just Sami ramping up her tantrum. It was a tsaminami.

Nicole sneaks into the room where Dr. Baker is working. He tells her to get out. Nicole begs him not to let the baby die.

Daniel says he was thinking of ordering a pizza. "Wow," says Kate, "Life in the fast lane." He invites Kate to stay and share the pizza with him. Kate is more interested in beating a dead horse, "I'm worried about you. I have family. I have Phillip, Lucas, even Chloe. What do you have?"

"About a third of what you have."

Maggie grills Chloe. Chloe whines, "Remember when you warned me not to hurt Lucas. I have a confession to make." Maggie licks her chops and takes out her notebook.

Surgeon General's Warning - If Sami appears on screen, mute your set immediately.

Sami just knows God doesn't think she deserves this baby.

"God doesn't say nasty things like that," says Sister Teresa, "He just sends people to Hell."

The Rafe-Sleazo smackdown continues.

Baker tinkers. Nicole asks, "Can I do something?"

"Pray," says Baker, "Somewhere else."

Nicole takes her bundle in the bassinet and leaves, "Right. Like a prayer from me would work. We know EJ doesn't deserve this. Because of me he doesn't know anything."

No, honey, he was clueless long before he met you.

Nicole talks to God. "Let EJ's baby live and I will never ask another thing."

"That's what you said last time you asked for something," says God.

Nicole walks back into the room with Dr. Baker. Of course, he has saved the day and everything is fine. Did you expect anything less?

Daniel offers Kate a drink. "I can't," says Kate, "Against doctor's orders."

"He's a quack," says Daniel. Kate pumps Daniel. Perhaps a poor choice of words. Daniel refuses to open up. Kate rambles.

Daniel interrupts, "Thick crust or regular?"

Kate doesn't miss a beat. She continues her tirade, "Something or someone has got to..."

Daniel loses it "DAMMIT, KATE WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!" The audience cheers.

Chloe says the problem is Sami. She knows Sami will always be a part of Lucas' life and it shouldn't bother her, but she's scared maybe Lucas and she moved ahead without Lucas resolving things with Sami, "When it comes to people I'm more black and white than Lucas."

"I don't know," says Maggie, "There aren't many people more colorless than him. What has you so upset?"

Well, there's no doubt it's Sami's baby. She blows her lungs out crying. Guess what? Nicole wants to have a little chat with Dr. Baker before he takes the baby to Sami.

Chloe assures Maggie she and Lucas and the kids had a wonderful time at dinner. Then Nancy called and played into her insecurities and second guessed Chloe marrying Lucas. Maggie hangs on every word. "It's not that I don't love Lucas," says Chloe, "but she might be right. You can't tell Lucas I said that. I'm just in a mood."

"I won't tell Lucas," says Maggie, being careful not to promise to keep things from the rest of the town. Maggie thinks maybe Chloe should tell Lucas about her insecurities if she wants their relationship to work, "If you start keeping secrets things will only get worse. I'm telling you that from personal experience. I think Mickey still has bonnie hidden in a closet at our house." Maggie thinks Chloe has something else on her mind, "This is about more than Lucas, isn't it?"

Kate and Daniel continue to dance around each other. Daniel thinks things will work better if they simplify them, "That will work best if we have a traditional doctor-patient relationship."

Kate thinks maybe she pushed too hard, "If you think you have everything under control you're lying to yourself." She leaves.

Outside, she leans against the door, "What the hell is going on with you, Daniel?"

Sleazo grabs a knife. A swing and a miss! Rafe twists his arm, grabs the knife, slices and dices. Sleazo runs out the back way, leaving a trail of blood and a few feet of small intestine.


The nurse comes in with a sedative. This, of course, goes over like a lead balloon. The nurse jabs. Sami settles down.

Nicole tells Dr. Baker EJ is the father of this baby. "EJ gets around doesn't he," asks Baker. Nicole tells him "Colleen" is really Sami Brady.

Baker can't believe it, "So the nun is lying too?"

God chimes in, "Hey, good help is hard to find."

Maggie gushes, "You're an opera singing, bone marrow giving, child-friendly beauty. Chloe thinks it's nice of her to say those things but it doesn't help, "You forgot unfaithful tramp. Lucas loves who he thinks I am, not the real me."

Maggie says Lucas is walking on air right now but that can't last forever, "I always thought Shakespeare killed Romeo and Juliet because no one ever wanted to see them arguing about the mortgage payment."

Will Shakespeare walks up to the bar and orders a drink, "And I didn't think this show could take literature any lower."

Maggie advises Chloe to take a leap of faith, "You know he can be a jerk and he knows you can be a bitch, but in time you will love each other more. You are on the road to something amazing. Nobody is perfect. Don't try to be."

Baker is stunned. Nicole tells him about the convent and the witless protection program.

"She's in witness protection," asks Baker, "Whoever is after her must be an idiot." Suddenly, Mia Jr. starts crying.

Apparently, Dr. Baker hasn't noticed the bassinet as big as a king-sized bed in his office, "What the hell is this?"

Chloe starts to leave. Kate comes in and runs into her. She says she went to see Daniel, "There is something bothering him but he's keeping me at arms length."

"Not me," says Chloe.

Daniel cuts off Chloe's message, "We don't need to talk. It's over."

Baker nukes, "So you just happened to have a spare baby?"

Nicole tells him about Mia's delivery, "Now we have two perfect little girls."

Baker does his best Bogey, "Of all the clinics in all the world you had to walk into mine."

Rafe busts into Sami's room and Sami beams. She tells him about the baby thing. Rafe tells Sami her little girl is fine, "It's all over. everything will be OK." He vows to protect her and the baby.

Sami hugs, "Don't ever leave me."

Fantasy over. "Don't worry, I'm right here and I won't leave you," says sister Teresa.

Chloe shows up at Daniel's. He tells her it's over. "That's why I am here," says Chloe.

Rafe struggles to get up. He stumbles and falls on his way to the back door.

Sleazo staggers through the cold and bleeds. He falls face down. Don't eat the red snow.

Apparently Sami's sedative hasn't kicked in. Sami asks sister Teresa to go find out about her baby.

Nicole tells Dr. Baker she promised Mia her baby will be well taken care of, and she will keep that promise, but there will be a small switch in the plans. Pun intended.

"Sami may be a despicable person," says Nicole, "but she is a responsible mother," says Nicole, "By responsible, I mean like a tiger. You know, the kind of parent that eats her young. EJ and I will raise his child." She takes Junior-Junior in her arms.

Prevuze II has a video of the daily show previews and should be available by noon (EST) on any given day. To see Prevuze II: CLICK HERE


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who didn't see this baby switcheraroo coming a million miles away. This show should go ahead and put everyone out of their misery and close shop. They either have everyone in some kind of love triangle or they have one story that lasts 2 years. Does anyone in Salem go to jail for their crimes?

4:32 AM  
Anonymous Cory said...

There still may be some more things coming we didn't see coming. After almost 45 years of running, there will be some storylines that are similar... lol. Let's see how it pans out! Also, Nick went to jail, Patrick, Bonnie, Lucas, and prob some more (depends on their contract status as to how long they stay there :) oh yeah, and btw... PREVUZE ROCKS!!

5:08 AM  
Anonymous Berg said...

Ugh, I feel like I want to gouge my eyes out and leave bloody trails across these scripts. This is such garbage. I can't believe some of you are even watching this is, and finding it entertaining...share your secret!

5:24 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Sleazo figures Sami is at the convent as Rafe loosens his bindings.

Again? Repeat after me Sleazo…DUCT TAPE!

Nicole listens as Sami blithers and snots, "This is all my fault because I didn't get regular checkups!"

"From a psychiatrist," says Sister Teresa.

Sami can even keep her expenses down to a minimum by having group sessions with the rest of the Salem nut jobs.

Nicole sneaks into the room where Dr. Baker is working. He tells her to get out.

I can’t believe Dr. Baker has restrained himself from knocking out several of her teeth. Nicole might know that Dr. Baker is a baby broker but he certainly has enough on Nicole to get her out of his life.

"She's in witness protection," asks Baker, "Whoever is after her must be an idiot."

No, the idiot is the person who dreamed up this ridiculous story line.

EJ and I will raise his child." She takes Junior-Junior in her arms.

Good going, Dr. Baker, you are now an assessory to a kidnapping, and the stupidity continues. Geez.

Prevuze thanks for a great snowy hump day update, and, once again, thanks for taking one for the team.

6:12 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Great stuff today, Prevuze. Loved the newly minted medical terminology - hystericalectomy - not to mention the new weather phenomenon - tsaminami!

And, Prevuze is always the first with critical life advice, Don't eat the red snow. Words to live by alright.

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to Dr. Baker demanding $750,000 before he would help Nicole? Her scheme is almost complete and all he got for his troubles was a lousy vase that she stole from the Dimera Mansion.

7:47 AM  
Anonymous LB said...

Hmm, let's see. No Nicole, you get Mia's baby since that is somewhat sketchy legal. You do not get Sami's baby since that is totally illegal and even more morally bankrupt than your previous ideas. Oh, you have a problem with that? Well, let's go tell The Dimera's that you actually lost your baby weeks ago and not only are trying to pull it over them, you're manipulating a young girl; you're stealing Sami's baby who is also EJ's child with the woman he actually loves (we think); and oh, yeah you're trying to blackmail me. Wonder who the Dimera's are going to be upset with? Wonder who's going to lose all credibility? I'm with Leslie -- knock her teeth out. That'd be interesting.

Why don't the writers get it? There is no one to root for in any of their stories. There is no one to identify with or feel for. There is no continuity. And while everything happens by seemingly throwing darts at a dartboard -- there are still no surprises or twists. To make it even worse, for several years now people on the boards and blogs have been able to accurately predict exactly what will happen AND people aren't happy with it. I'm not watching the show and haven't in long time. I'm checking in a couple times a week with Prevuze and that just makes me even more disgusted with this show -- through no fault of Prevuze, of course. I cannot believe that not only can Prevuze watch it but they still manage to come up with comic relief.

And Cory -- similar yes. But all they are doing is changing names in the scripts. And now they're using the same scripts for everyone on the show. Not to mention wasting perfect good talent. TPTB should have told Alison Sweeney she was taking a real maternity leave and they were sending Sami to Switzerland. End of story. AND I AM A HUGE SAMI FAN. To the point that I sympathized with the Stan thing. This was a complete waste.

7:59 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Here's a plot twist nobody has thought of...
Melanie is actually EJ & Nicole's baby that Nicole "lost" at Dr. Baker's clinic, SORASed to 18 before she was even born... OK, so there might be a FEW problems with that scenario...

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Don't get me started! This baby switching s/l is a complete let down and soooo predictable. The only reason I'm still watching is because I'm hoping that there'll be a twist in the story where Sami gets her baby back from the wicked slut of Salem! Why DOOL is letting Nicole monopolize the show is beyond me...I'm sooo sick of her and her antics. Someone brought up the fact that she owes Dr. Baker close to 750M? Will that ever be discussed on the show? She only gave him a vase as a downpayment to seal the deal...if it's Ming Dynasty it might be worth something, but if I were Dr. Baker I would up the ante now that he knows Nicole plans to switch the babies. He knows the DiMera's can bankroll it. What a nut job that womans is! Like it's not enough that she's trying to pass off another woman's baby as her own, she wants to steal Sami's baby to try to pass it off as her own! And she calls Sami despicable???

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How is it that Nicole was able to steal the vase from the Dimeras - from a very high traffic area no less - and no one notices???

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I haven't been able to see the last two pictures yet but I almost got hysterical over the one of Kate. HAHAHAHA

I'm not nearly as tired of the baby switch stuff yet as I am this idiotic Chloedan/Kate going back and forth and on and ON. Talk about the ultimate zapping opportunity, anytime any of those three have a conversation zapping is a must.

I love the mute-any-Sami warnings. I thought Prevuze mention yesterday that Mia handled things a lot better than Sami was so true.

I also loved Maggie drooling over potential gossip and "I think Mickey still has Bonnie hidden in a closet at our house."

Thanks, Prevuze, for starting the day in a great way once again. :D

10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The nun said "Samantha" in the preview video...I thought the nuns thought her name was Colleen?

I agree that the Dr. Dan thing is boring and a complete waste of time. They haven't developed his character at all, or given him the slightest bit of personality or any reason for the viewers to care what he does. He reminds me of old school Neil Curtis, who was basically just a supposedly studly doctor who would go from one woman to another every couple months.

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sami spilled the beans about her real identity to Sister Teresa a couple of days ago, so the nun knows her real name now.

Dr. Dan and his character is so pimped out, I think they're just using him on the show to break up undesirable couples. We might want to start calling him Dr. feel-her-up-break-her-up.

That whole thing about using the MUTE button when Sami comes on was LOL funny! Thanks Prevuze, you get points for originality today!

4:36 PM  

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