Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Special Administrative Assistant Wendell Rosensmell

Episode 11,000. I'm all a-tingle.

Chloe is on the phone with her soulless agent talking about an opportunity in Vancouver. She gets another call, and sees that it's Daniel. She flashes back to the booty call at Daniel's apartment and decides not to answer.

Daniel gets Chloe's voicemail and has the same flashback, "So, Daniel, what did you expect?"

Chloe tells her agent she'll call from Vancouver as Luclueless walks in, "What's going on?"

Chloe says, "We're leaving town."

Prevuze

EJ catches Nicole leaving and wants to know where she is going. She says she's off to Chicago for the Youth Center. EJ ain't happy.

Sleazo finds Sami's medal on the floor of the safehouse, "You might as well have left a map."

Sami and Rafe arrive at the convent. Sami bawls. Rafe tells her Hilda would want her to keep it together. Sami realizes Hilda really didn't know her at all. Rafe says Sister Teresa will take care of Sami and starts to leave Sami grabs him and hangs on like a thirsty leech, "Please don't go. Please don't leave me!"

Rafe says, "I have to go... the place is starting to flood."

Brady and John are together at the pub. Brady thinks Dr. Taylor isn't who John thinks she is. He breaks the news, "She hasn't been telling you the truth. The hypnosis was successful."

"Of course it was," says John, "She said I would never be together with Marlena."

Marlena invites Charlotte in. Charlotte fishes through her purse.

The sweet scent of garbage from the dump and eau d'winos breath wafts through the night air as Bo and Hope share a tender moment down at the romantic armpit of Salem known as the docks. Bo grabs her, "So... I see you were able to ditch the old man."

"Oh yeah," says Hope, ", "The old man is clueless."

"No," says Bo, "I'm that old man. I meant the other old man."

Bo tells her she's beautiful but, hey... it's dark. Bo says he's had it with meetings, "I've just sat through three of them. It's like watching a documentary on yarn weaving. Or worse, an episode of DOOL. You know what, Fancy Face? I think I'm going to quit."

Hope asks, "You mean Salem will get a real police commissioner?"

"Not if they offer the job to you," says Bo.


John flips out. He thinks Brady has been spying on him. Brady tells him he has a copy of the video from his session, pulls out his cell phone and shows the scene with John babbling about the love of his life. John gasps, "Why would she keep that from me?" Brady tells John he showed the video to Marlena. You could drive a truck through John's mouth.

Marl and Charl talk. Charlotte lectures Marlena for breaking client-patient confidentiality. Marlena asks, "And what about you withholding information from a patient? How dare you play God with him. That's my job."

Chloe tells Lucas about her audition in Vancouver. She reminds him he wanted her to keep on with her singing. Lucas says, "You're right, but what do I do about my job?"

"McDonald's will survive without you," says Chloe. Luclueless wonders what is really going on. "If I can't be alone with you," says Chloe, "I'm going crazy."

"Instead of to Vancouver?"

Daniel drinks and sulks.

Sami bawlbubbersnivelsobs. Rafe promises to come back. He leaves. Sami prays.

EJ and Nicole argue. He explodes and says she can help wayward teens in Salem. She says she would, but she doesn't know where Sami is. EJ nukes, "We can argue feminist principles all night but you and that baby are going nowhere."

A gal in the audience leans over to her neighbor and whispers, "Just like this plot."

Bo says, "I miss working with you."

"The job really has affected your mind, hasn't it," asks Hope.

"I'd rather be with you," says Bo, "Besides, you smell much better than Special Administrative Assistant Wendell Rosensmell." Hope asks him to think about it a little bit more before he chucks his income into the Salem river along with their ability to pay the mortgage. She suggests a different kind of meeting. Suddenly Bo becomes a meeting maven.

Chloe insists Lucas has to go with her to Vancouver. Lucas agrees, "I'll just set Allie adrift in the Horton canoe and then go pack."

Chloe says, "I want to be with you. Just you." Lucas says he will tie up some loose ends and get ready to go. Chloe finds Allie's blankie and remembers she forgot to take it to Julie.

"You'd better take it," says Lucas, "Julie gets pretty upset when she doesn't have a security blanket."

John wonders why Charlotte would do this, "What was Blondie's reaction?"

"Blondie got furious," says Brady.

"I've never seen her furious," says John.

"You really don't have a memory, do you," asks Brady, "It's something to behold." John thinks something is wrong. He wonders why Charlotte would do this.

Charlotte accuses Marlena of everything but stealing the kitchen sink. Marlena asks if Charlotte thinks she has done something illegal why she didn't go to the police.

"Because the Salem police don't specialize in criminal activities," says Charlotte. She tells Marlena she came directly to her to help her manage the end of her career. Marlena gets a call. John tells her he doesn't want her to deal with Charlotte on her own.

"Too late," says Marlena, "But I can handle it."

EJ. Nicole. Same ole drivel. He offers to drive her to Chicago. Driving Miss Nicky. Nicole decides to cancel the trip. She calls Dr. Baker, "Hello, Mr. Kandowski? I won't be able to make it to Chicago. Bye." Baker wonders what the hell is going on.

EJ ain't happy. He says he won't keep her prisoner. He just wants to go with her.

Chloe meets Daniel at the dock. Too bad Bo and Hope didn't go home for their 'meeting.' Chloe insists she has to go, but Daniel wants to talk and figure out what is going on between them.

"That's simple enough to figure out," says Chloe, "We're behaving like hormone crazed minks."

Sami calls Lucas, "I just had to talk to you. I screwed up again."

Rafe sneaks. Sleazo gets a bead on him.

John says he wants Marlena to get out of there now. Charlotte tells her to hang up and goes bonkers, "You don't remember, do you? I do. Every detail. I'm going to make you pay for all of it."

Chloe and Daniel are in denial over their romp. Chloe can't take it any more, makes like a viewer, and runs off.

Whine-ami tells Lucas about Hilda and says she's at the convent, "Can I talk to Allie?"

"What would make you think Allie is with me," asks Lucas. Sami decides she shouldn't have called him and begs him not to tell Roman about it. She insists she's safe, hangs up and turns the waterworks back on, "What am I gonna do?"

Nicole says she is scared because EJ gave her a direct order and then offered a compromise where he got everything he wanted anyway. EJ tells her he wasn't there when Johnnie was born but doesn't want that for her baby. Nicole says she wants she wants him to be there for the birth, too, but refuses to be on a leash. EJ concedes, "But I want to be there when our baby is born – Non negotiable."

They decide EJ can go to the office and they will pretend this never happened. He walks off to get his things. Nicole calls Baker again. She apologizes for the earlier call. Baker says, "If Mia goes into labor you have to be ready to move or the plan goes up in smoke."

Lucas is on the phone arranging some things for Sami as Chloe returns. She wants to know what's up. Lucas tells her about Hilda's death and Sami's predicament. He decides he can't go to Vancouver. Chloe blows her stack and runs out.

Charlotte hides a hypo behind her back as she and Marlena dance around each other. She pulls the syringe out and Marlena asks what it is. "It's muscle relaxant," sneers Charlotte, "The heart is a muscle." Charlotte rants about how she resents how her father used to praise Marlena while carving out tiny pieces of time for her, "When your heart starts to relax, think about John and me. We'll be together. You'll be dead and will have lost. You'll be in that circle of Hell where they show DOOL 24/7."

Nicole tells EJ she will just turn in early and be her normal upbeat self tomorrow morning. Smoochies and bye-byes. EJ leaves. Nicole calls Mia and tells her to get some sleep and she will call in the morning. Chloe arrives and sobs, "Sami is going after Lucas and he's falling for it!"

Lucas calls Chloe to apologize, but gets voicemail. Daniel shows up at the cabin.

Sister Teresa tries to comfort Screamin' Sami. That, of course, doesn't work. Teresa leaves and Sami kneels to pray.

Rafe sneaks around the safehouse, "I know you're here."

Selazo gets the drop on him, "And I know you're a dead man."

Marlena asks, "So you had an unhappy childhood and I'm to blame?"

"Works for me," says Charlotte.

CATFIGHT!

It's a raucous floor-rollin' hair-pullin' girlie slappin' gen-u-wine me-lee as the girls tumble across the floor taking pets, furniture and other debris with them.

Super Jawn rushes in to save the day. Charlotte leaps to her feet and plunges the syringe into John. "Oooo," says John, "You got any more of that stuff?"

Daniel tells Lucas he's there about Chloe.

Nicole advises Chloe not to get upset when Lucas worries about Sami.

Chloe babbles, rambles and whines, "Ever since Lucas found out she's pregnant..."

Nicole has a cow, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Sami prays for Rafe.

Sleazo asks for Rafe's gun. Rafe hands it over. He whirls, twirls and tosses Sleazo. It's a raucous floor-rollin' hair-pullin' manly slappin' gen-u-wine me-lee as the boys tumble across the floor taking pets, furniture and other debris with them.

Brady, Bo and Hope drop in from nowhere. Marlena tries mouth to mouth on John as Bo calls an ambulance, without the benefit of hallucinating.

John's eyes roll back into his head, "Uh-oh. You'd better record it, because I think I might miss the inauguration."

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

FINALLY!!!!! I have waited so long for someone to tell about Sami's pregnancy. Love it. Charlotte gets hers. Sami will get hers. Nicole gets all the babies. Jawn is John saves Marleana,indures terrible pain and suffering like we have to for ALLTHEDAYSOFOURLIVES watching this show. So whats next baby switch,sick baby, Whos your daddy again? And lets not forget whose doin' who. Loved your prevuze today, wish the inaugeration was over.Its slower than days, or maybe they just have been dragging it out for to long.

4:00 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

She says she's off to Chicago for the Youth Center. EJ ain't happy.

OK, EJ is supposed to be a sharp lawyer. If he had questioned Nicole about the name of the youth center at which Nicole is supposed to be volunteering, he could have done a Google search for the low down. Additionally, if the youth center is actually in Chicago, why would Nicole be entertaining Mia at the mansion? Geez.

It's like watching a documentary on yarn weaving. Or worse, an episode of DOOL.

…and

EJ nukes, "We can argue feminist principles all night but you and that baby are going nowhere."

A gal in the audience leans over to her neighbor and whispers, "Just like this plot."


Amen.

Lucas says, "You're right, but what do I do about my job?"

"McDonald's will survive without you," says Chloe.


Apparently, McDonald’s has lowered its hiring standards.

Oh my, oh my, it certainly sounds like an action packed Daze with two melees, Nicole finally finding out about Sami’s pregnancy, and Jawn’s hypodermic needlefication!!! Does this mean there’s finally going to be some plot movement or is this just a ploy to pique our interest just enough to keep us watching this drivel? Yes, Anonymous, it does appear the drivel includes baby switching so I’m going to need an economy sized bottle of antacids to get through that silliness.

Thanks Prevuze for the outstanding inauguration day update!! It’s been four score and seven years ago since Daze was as equally outstanding. That’s not possible. Daze has never been better than Prevuze because Prevuze rocks!!!

5:42 AM  
Blogger Klaus said...

Chloe blows her stack and runs out.
Ugh, what an attitude. She can just get Dr. Dan to keep her company. And she's beginning to make me reconsider my 'Brady got himself on drugs' position.

"Sami is going after Lucas and he's falling for it!"
Oh the humanity! Did she ever think Sami just wants to to 'feel his touch'.

Uh-oh. You'd better record it, because I think I might miss the inauguration."
lmao, spit take. I have a monitor and desk to clean.

6:34 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

So Sleazo found a St. Theresa's medal and that was "as good as a map". And why is that? Sami's Catholic and she had a Catholic medal. So what? Now, I figured Sleazo would come up with that convent brochure that Sami had. Now THAT would have been a clue as to where she had been (if not necessarily where she was).

Here's something EJ should be pondering - if Nicole has such a high risk pregnancy they can't make love or even share the same bed, how can it be safe for her to be galavanting all over creation? TLT

Loads of great prevuisms and I loved Jawn-John's half squint (though it looks an awful lot like an Elvis imitation in that pic, Bulldog)!

Except for the Charl/Marl/SuperJohn scenes, this sounds like a zap-a-thon of historic proportions. Thanks for getting us the scoop, Prevuze!

6:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Leslie said: Additionally, if the youth center is actually in Chicago, why would Nicole be entertaining Mia at the mansion?

Nicole and Mia concocted the 'youth center' story as a cover - and it was supposedly a youth center there in Salem. Nicole told EJ that the youth center asked her to be a travelling guest lecturer all over the STATE, and she told him she had to go to Chicago(are we to assume now that Salem is in Illinois - boy did the writers drop the ball on that piece of dialog. ROFL) so she would have an excuse to be away when Mia goes into labor.

6:38 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I love the descriptive CATFIGHT! and following MANFIGHT! I also want to see how much the stuntwoman doesn't look like Marlena 'cause I can't imagine in a thousand years them getting Deidre Hall to roll around on the ground. HAHAHAHA

So after enduring almost a whole episode Friday of Rafe explaining why Sami can't tell anyone where she is yada, yada, and her getting hysterical over her doom the first chance she gets she calls and blabs to Luclueless? Come on hit man!!

Loved "It's like watching a documentary on yarn weaving. Or worse, an episode of DOOL". I am so glad I wasn't eating or drinking when I got to Charlotte's picture. I would've had cleanup duty.

Great Prevuze on what seems like a Monday morning!

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Scolly said...

Love the new entry in the Prevuze dictionary: "bawlbubbersnivelsobs."

7:56 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Does this mean there’s finally going to be some plot movement or is this just a ploy to pique our interest just enough to keep us watching this drivel?

The only piquing going on is from Daniel.

Ba-da-da-boom!

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Blah said...

DAYS has always dropped hints that it is located in Illinois.

OMG are we gonna revisit Lucas/Sami/EJ again?

Philip/Chloe/Brady.

Stephanie/Max/Chelsea.

Anything original happening in Salem?

9:06 AM  
Anonymous Betyar said...

Finally an eppisode worth watching and it has to be pre-empted! Figures! Thanks Prevuze for the great service you provided to your adudience this inaugural day, by posting such an accurate description of the girlie-manfight between Rafe and Sleazo :) LMAO! Speaking of Sleazo, perhaps we shouldn't have changed his name from "The Killer" to "Sleazo"...the name Sleazo all of a sudden seems more appropriate for Dr. Cop-a-feel don't you think? Actually, the picture of a very hairy corn dog comes to mind when I think of Daniel nowadays! Huh!

10:45 AM  

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