What You Catch From A Toilet Seat
Leonard the INS agent asks Sami if she loves EJ. Helio and Julianne never danced like Sami does after that question. Meanwhile, EJ tells Maggie he loves her idea.
Lexie and a nurse rush in to help Bo as he mumbles, "Hope's in trouble."
Hope stares out a window and surveys her room. She finds a scrapbook under the bed.
Impatient but wacko Ava waits for Patch. She picks up the car phone and tells the chauffeur, "Let's go," but looks up to see Patch staring through the window.
Burke asks again if Sami loves EJ. Sami gets snotty and assures him she does. EJ walks up to the table, smooches her on the cheek and says, "You miss me too."
"Like a bad rash," says Sami. EJ says he was just on the phone with Mickey, who has offered him a partnership.
"A partnership," asks Burke, "Is that what they're calling an entry level job these days?"
EJ says, "Mickey is semi-retired and wants me to help." Burke wasn't aware EJ is an attorney. EJ tells him he became a lawyer years ago, "And now here in the US I'm barred and certified."
"Don't you mean certifiable," asks Burke, "I don't think you exactly have the world's best work ethic."
Lexie tries to help, "What's up, Bo."
"I am." Bo remembers Patch's call and visit. He wiggles and Lexie threatens to sedate him if he doesn't behave.
She thinks he has damaged his pancreas, "What kind of trouble is Hope in?"
Bo tries to fake it, "Hope's in trouble? I thought I had a dream. Then I saw she wasn't here."
Patch and Ava exchange no-so-niceties. Patch asks about Hope/Kayla. Ava tells him she is fine. Patch wants to see her, "That was the deal."
Ava nukes, "We had a deal. It had to do with a preacher."
"Something came up," says Patch, "Things aren't the same, baby."
"No one has called me baby lately," says Ava.
"What do they call you," asks Patch.
"Bitch," says Ava, "Crazy broad. You know, things that fit. But I know you love me."
Patch sighs, "Yeah." Ava tries to work him, but Patch insists on going to see Hope/Kayla. Ava agrees. Patch tells her he doesn't see them getting back together.
Ava doesn't like that and doesn't want him to tell her she's nuts, "I didn't remember you being so stupid."
"Not only are you nuts but you're forgetful, too," says Patch. He rages. Ava threatens Hope/Kayla. Patch shuts his yap and then changes the subject. He wants to know how she found out Hope/Kayla was his wife. Ava says she has her ways.
Patch gets on her about the plane incident. She claims it was an accident, "I would never hurt someone on purpose."
Patch yells, "Well, you just threatened to kill my wife and unborn baby."
The nutcase screams, "That's different!"
Hope leafs through the scrapbook and finds newspaper clippings. "AVA VITALE IS NEW PRESIDENT OF TRANSWORLD." "TRANSWORLD STOCK SKYROCKETS." "GUINNESS NAMES HOPE BRADY RECORD HOLDER FOR NUMBER OF TIMES KIDNAPPED."
Kayla comes into Bo's room. She says Dr. Jonas has a seminar today, so that makes Bo her patient. Stephanie is supposedly with Max and since Patch wasn't there, Kayla was able to make her escape. She wonders if Patch is around.
EJ and Sami work on Burke. They assure him they are the dream couple of Salem. Sami says her family just loves EJ, "They think he is quite a catch, and not what you catch from a toilet seat."
EJ grabs Sami's nose, "Spunky today aren't you, sweetheart?" Sami kicks something under the table and it ain't his nose.
Lou Grant steps in, "Back off, buddy! I LIKE SPUNK!"
EJ suddenly claims he has a cramp in his foot and has to go walk it off. He leaves. Burke asks for one more visit with the idyllic couple and then leaves.
EJ comes back and he and Sami take bickering to new levels. They agree to leave each other's feet and noses alone. EJ walks off as Maggie comes over, "You seem to have your nose out of joint. He gets to you doesn't he?"
"Why are you on his side," says Sami.
"I am on Johnny's side," says Maggie, By the way, where are the twins? "
"Ciara is watching them," says Sami. She tells her she misses Lucas.
"I think they have inoculations for things like that," says Maggie.. Mickey comes up and Sami questions his hiring EJ. She doesn't think EJ is even licensed.
"We don't stand on little formalities like that at the Horton firm," says Mickey.
Bo says Steve was there but took off. He didn't say way where he was going. Lexie and Kayla gang up on Bo about getting out of bed. Bo claims he slipped. The girls don't buy it. A nurse calls Lexie out. As she leaves, Kayla asks what's going on.
Patch wants to tell Ava about the terror at 30,000 feet. Ava don' wanna hear it. Patch tells her about OMB's tragic but needless suicide. Ava screams and tells him to stop it, "I feel like my brain is splitting in two."
"That wouldn't be fair for you to have two and the rest of us none," says Patch.
"I HATE YOU!"
"A minute ago you loved me," he says, "Just take it easy."
"Don't tell me that," screams the nutjob, "The plane crash wasn't my fault. It was your fault. You killed him."
Ava blames Patch for OMB's death because he left her at the altar. Patch doesn't see it that way. Ana tiptoes into the darkside. Patch tells her she has hurt enough people. She threatens to hurt more if she has to. Patch suggests trying to work this out, "Tell me what you really want."
"I want my life back," says Jabba the Nut, "I want to walk down that aisle and see you waiting for me there. I want the life you promised me."
Kayla grills Bo about what Steve is up to and why he tried to get out of bed. "I don't know what Patch is doing," says Bo, "And most of the time, he doesn't either. I got out of bed because I was just trying to get some exercise."
Kayla doesn't buy it. "And where is Hoooooooppp..." PAIN-WRETCH! It seems doctor Johnson is good at dishing out advice but not so good at taking it.
Maggie, Sami, Mickey and his new partner chat. EJ and Mickey introduce themselves to each other.
Sami asks, "Do you always appoint someone a partner before you have even met him?"
"We don't stand on little formalities at the Horton firm," says Mickey.
Mickey asks Sami her opinion of EJ – He wonders if EJ is a typical DiMera. Sami says he's not. Mickey decides EJ will have to earn his partnership and is on probation until he can prove himself. "Until then, you'll be doing a lot of work for little money." Mickey leaves. EJ turns to Maggie and thanks her, and then Maggie follows Mickey.
EJ and Sami discuss their extended-extended family issues.
Hope puts down the scrapbook and looks at the pictures on the desk.
Ava tells Patch he ruined her life and might ruin Hope/Kayla's life as well as their unborn child. She thinks he and Kayla don't have any kids yet. Patch just wants to make sure no one else gets hurt. Ava wonders how. Patch plays along, "I can be that man again if you still want me to be."
Lexie and the nurse rush back into Bo's room to tend to Kayla. Kayla insists she was feeling fine right before she had her big attack.
Hope remembers Ava telling her what happened after Patch left.
Maggie thanks Mickey for giving EJ a chance. Mickey still has problems with him. The folks behind them at the bar drink up. Mickey turns to one of the drunks there and asks, "Hey, stranger, how would you like a partnership at the Horton firm?"
Mickey goes back to EJ and Sami's table. EJ thanks him for the job. Mickey wishes he could help more. Sami says her mom will help with their other problems.
Steve says he will be Patch for Ava. She just has to promise not to hurt anyone else. "Why would I," she says, "now that I've got the man back I love." She asks if he still wants three kids.
"No," says Patch, "I've run out of clothing and crop names."
Ava smooches and cuddles. The squeaking of her leather coat rubbing against his leather jacket rubbing against the leather seats drowns out the remainder of the conversation. Finally, the car stops. "We're home," says Ava
Lexie takes Kayla to lie down. Bo sits alone and starts to get out of bed again.
EJ doesn't know if Marlena will be happy about helping. They argue about that. Mickey interrupts the Bickersons and says his experience is not in immigration law.
"Just what is your specialty," says EJ.
"Filing appeals for clients whose cases I have bungled," says Mickey. He leaves. Bicker-o-rama ensues. Sami decides she has a plan. They leave.
Outside, Mickey hires two winos as interns.
Patch and Ava walk in. Steve and Hope/Kayla rush each other but Ava separates them, "Not so close. Ava insists she has been treating Hope well. Hope isn't so sure. The wackaroo tells Patch, "I love you but Kayla has turned you into a sniveling little wimp. She broke you and I can fix you." Ava gets upset when she discovers Hope has been going through her stuff.
Bo stands and hyperventilates, "Hang on fancy face, I'm gonna find you."
You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.