Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Voyage

Marlena and Hope simply can't control their emotions as they stand on the dock in the early morning mist. John wishes one of the hot dog stands were open. Between them, Marlena and Hope shed enough tears to float the boat as Shawn, Belle and Claire wave goodbye. John thinks the pier could use a coat of paint.

Shawn casts off. "Don't go," yells Marlena.

Hope follows suit, "No, Shawn, please don't go! Because the..." Everything comes crashing down. Hope, Marlena and John find themselves treading water. Hope continues, "...blub boat is blub still tied to the dock blub."

John, Marlena and Hope swim to shore and stand there in their soggy clothes waving and watching the Fancy Face IV recede toward the horizon. Marlena and Hope hug and try to assure themselves Belle, Shawn and Claire will be safe. John takes a more pragmatic point of view, "That boy couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel."

On board, Shawn takes a deep breath, "I love the smell of the open ocean."

"That's the Salem Ironworks," says Belle, "We're not even out of the port yet."

"Right," says Shawn, "But things are still going well..." He gives her a look, "So what do you say you and I take a much deserved break and go downstairs and... you know..." Belle hesitates. "You can fanaticize that I'm Phillip," says Shawn. That does it. Shawn and Belle rush downstairs. Claire lashes herself to the wheel.

Three minutes later we pan up to the bed. Shawn and Belle cuddle. "Was it good for you," asks Shawn.

"Let's put it this way," says Belle, "I haven't exactly had my Phil yet."

Cap'n Shawn decides it's time to get to work. He goes upstairs and takes over from Claire, who has kept them right on course. As Shawn heads for the open sea, Claire jumps overboard. Belle hears Shawn screaming and runs upstairs while Shawn grabs the grappling hook and hands it down to Claire. Claire doesn't want any part of the trip and she pushes the pole away. Belle panics and dives in after her. Despite fighting like a trooper, Belle outweighs her and finally hauls her back into the boat. "What were you thinking," screams Belle.

"I've been on a lot of boats with Dad," says Claire, "And I knew sooner or later he'd throw me overboard and I just wanted to get it over with."

Claire promises she will stay on board. Shawn promises he won't throw her overboard too often. With the crisis over, Shawn looks up and sees nothing but ocean, "OMG, where are we?"

"Go get your sextant and find out," says Claire.

"My what," asks Shawn.

"Never mind," says Claire, "Use the GPS."

"Good idea," says Shawn, "It's a good thing I gave it to your mom for safekeeping."

Belle takes it out of her pocket and Hands it to Shawn. She's not sure why, but she automatically says, "God punishes sinners."

Shawn takes the GPS and stares at it. It's completely waterlogged. Shawn can't get the water out because the instructions are written on the bottom.

"What are we going to do," asks Belle. Shawn stares.

For months the Fancy Face IV wanders in circles in the North Atlantic. The only entertainment they have is listening to people talk on their two-way radio. Since Kayla helped them pack the boat, all they have to eat is chips and dip and that is running out.

The only sign of humanity they see is a scary bearded man who floats by on a raft holding a dodge ball with a face painted on it.

Then, one day, as hope is about to run out, Shawn spots a cruise ship in the distance. The wind is at their back and Shawn makes a beeline for the ship. All three of them scream and wave their arms and jump up and down, but the cruise ship doesn't seem to see them. Shawn knows what he has to do. And if there's one thing Shawn does well... He psychs himself up for it. He remembers the church window... He remembers Victor's living room... He remembers the Fancy Face III... and then...

WHAM!

The force of the collision slams Shawn, Belle and Claire full force into the rock-hard hull of the cruise ship. They are knocked unconscious and their faces are crushed in the force of the blow. The crew on the cruise ship investigates in time to haul the three of them on board, but the Fancy Face IV is lost. Shawn's record is in tact.

The cruise ship is a floating city. On board, passengers have all the amenities, including a fully functional hospital with the most modern medical facilities. Surgeons on board work to reconstruct Belle, Shawn and Claire's crushed faces. It takes several plastic surgeries, but it's a long cruise and the three of them recover.

Just as they have been nursed back to health and are able to contact their families, wonder of wonders, the cruise ship docks in Salem Harbor.

Belle and Shawn call their families and friends who all rush to the port with glee. They get there just in time to see the intrepid trio way off in the distance getting off the ship. They all rush toward each other. Then, as Shawn, Belle and Claire get closer and closer, the crowd can finally make out their faces. Suddenly, everyone in the group of greeters stops and stares. What they see is so shocking, even John shows emotion. Everyone gasps in unison... "OMG!"

They all stand and stare in disbelief at the returning travelers and see...

CLICK HERE FOR THE SHOCK OF YOUR LIFE.

(Note: This is not one of our infamous forbidden links. This one is squeaky clean.)

Here's hoping your weekend is shockingly great.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Terrific Saturday Prevuze. One of the best! Shawn's record is intact. Loved Claire throwing herself overboard just to get it over with. Great job with the plastic surgery too. Thanks Prevuze for all you do, especially the Saturday specials.

5:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent!

5:31 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

I had to haul my you-know-what into work today. All that got me here was the hope I would have a Saturday Prevuze. And WOW - what a Prevuze!!

A full-blown episode complete with its own pics and prevuisms. I laughed myself silly.

Claire lashes herself to the wheel... 'Dang, girl,' I thought, 'get in a lifeboat and make a break for it!'

Since Kayla helped them pack the boat, all they have to eat is chips and dip and that is running out. ROFL

But all they had to pass the time with was listening to a two-way radio?? Didn't they pack that Patrick-special TV that picked up Salem broadcasts from anywhere in the world??

All I have to say Prevuze is, "WOOOOO HOOOOO"!

7:46 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Hilarious Saturday Prevuze! And loved the picture, too!

8:23 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

I was going to do a Saturday Daze Blog, but decided to see what Prevuze was doing first, and thank GOD I did.

I bow to you, the master, my mentor!

Congratulations on an excellent, amazing, and EXTREMELY funny post.

APPLAUSE APPLAUSE!!!!!

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! Loved it Prevuze!

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was the best prevuze ever! I laughed so hard. Thank you for making my day!!

10:03 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I bow to you, the master, my mentor!

Deb, please, less caffeine. But thanks to you and everyone else for the nice compliments. The truth is someone commented you had written a blog yesterday about the conclusion to Shelle's adventures. I panicked, thinking it would be along the same lines as this one and rushed over to read the installment. Fortunately, the story was different and I must say, very clever. Click on this link for Deb's take on Shawn and Belle's excellent adventure.

10:06 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

What a great Saturday Prevuze! I'm assuming now every Saturday we will have a storyline involving our intrepid Salemites?

I can't wait to read the one where Max gets a brain transplant!

Thanks, Prevuze, for the laughs today. :D

10:37 AM  
Anonymous em said...

BEST EVER! Bravo, Prevuze!

4:00 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Terrific Saturday Prevuze. One of the best!

Excellent!

"WOOOOO HOOOOO"!

Hilarious Saturday Prevuze!

APPLAUSE APPLAUSE!!!!!

LOL! Loved it Prevuze!

That was the best prevuze ever!

What a great Saturday Prevuze!

BEST EVER! Bravo, Prevuze!


Wow. I guess I hit a home run today.

You know, Michael Schumacher retired at the top of his game... Sandy Koufax retired a the top of his game... maybe it's time to hang up the keyboard.

...

...

...

OK. Just kidding.

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Absolutley LOVED the remark,
haven't had my "PHIL" yet.

Do you think Belle can get a refund for her tuition to nursing school? Has she met the drop class for full refund deadline yet?

5:47 AM  

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