Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Your Beard Is Dripping

Ah... the show that airs on Christmas day. We have to wonder, will there be action? Will there be actual plot movement? Will something happen? Is it worth watching? And, of course the answer to all of these is 'no.' After all, why should this show be any different than all the rest?

Patch, Kayla, Stephanie and L'il Joe arrive at the pub. Kayla immediately goes to change L'il Joe. "Change him into someone who doesn't cry so much," says Patch. He immediately gets on Stephanie's case for not being happy because Phillip isn't there.

"It's not the fact that Phillip isn't here that makes me unhappy," says Stephanie, "It's the fact that you are."

Phillip and Henderson are together in the Kiriakis dining room as Brady walks in. "Merry Christmas," booms Brady.

"I don't think so," snorts Phillip.

Daniel wheels Kate into the Kiriakis mansion. She tells him it's obvious he and Chloe have a problem. Daniel says she is making way too much of things. He helps her up as Chloe and Lucas come in. Chloe and Daniel's eyes lock in a come-hither stare.

Doug, Maggie and Julie chat at the hospital. Julie knows it has been a hard year for Maggie because of the mess with Nick.

"It's been very hard," agrees Maggie, "But not as hard as it was on Trent."

Stefano walks in. Julie notices and says, "Well here comes the shame of western civilization. The drama continues."

"Not on this show," says Maggie.

In a scene reminiscent of Nicole's fantasy yesterday, Nicole sleeps as EJ hovers over her with a sprig of holly. He tickles her nose with one of the sharp edges. Nicole wakes.

SCREAM! "Get away from me!"

Rafe sings Christmas carols. Sami wakes, "Santa?"

We pan up to Rafe who is wearing a Santa hat and a shaving cream beard, "Well, Miss Brady, have you been naughty, nice or do you take the 5th."

"I'll take the fifth," says Sami, "Make it Johnny Walker Black. By the way, your beard is dripping." Sami just isn't in the Christmas spirit.

"What about joy to the world," asks Rafe, "What about decking the halls? It's Christmas!"

"I miss my kids," blubbers Sami, "The ones I haven't shipped off to Europe, that is."

Nicole tells EJ she reacted because the holly has sharp edges. They banter about Christmas and opening presents. That gets Nicole into a better mood. EJ leaves. Nicole gets up, rushes around and bumps up, "EJ and I are so happy knowing we'll have a baby. You know, Nicole, you're gonna make this happen. You will find a way."

Chloe says she didn't realize Daniel would be there. Lucas just can't resist showing how clueless he is, "I thought it would be nice if we all spent Christmas together." Daniel escorts Kate out.

Lucas turns to Chloe, "What's the deal with you and Daniel? Anyone can see you don't like each other." Chloe says they just don't get along. Lucas asks her to try to get along with him for his mom's sake.

Phillip gets on Brady for climbing the corporate ladder as Kate and Daniel walk in. Kate asks what is going on with the two of them. Phillip rants about not really running the company any more, "Dad has Brady breathing down my neck. That would be really uncomfortable if my neck weren't made of titanium." Phillip thinks Kate is the Christmas miracle. Brady and Phillip agree to put their differences aside for today.

They shake hands as Victor walks in, "Well, it's nice to see peace on earth at last!"

Stephanie doesn't want to fight. Max says he is just surprised Phillip isn't there. She tells Max HE is the reason they are in this position.

Max consults the Guy Manual for guidance, "Don't worry about it. There has never in the history of the world been a breakup that wasn't the guy's fault."

Chelsea says she can't stand seeing them fight on Christmas. That just inspires Stephanie to throw it into high gear, "Do you want to know why I moved on?"

With that impeccable timing you only find on DOOL, Melanie walks in.

Stephanie points at Melanie, "There is the reason!" Max gives his Mortimer Snerd look.

Mortimer Snerd steps into the scene, "Aw, come on, I don't look that dumb."

Lexie and Abe are at Bo and Hope's house. "Since I'm mayor," says Abe, "I can't accept any gifts. But I do have a cushy dog-catcher job for sale."

Lexie is relieved Theo is safe and OK. They send Ciara for the secret present as Theo zones and plays with Charlie. Ciara brings the present to Theo who looks at it and turns up his nose, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. "

Lexie helps Theo open it. It's some kind of toy truck. Theo chucks it.

Melanie parlez vous, "Joyeux noel, mes amis!"

"That'll be enough name calling," snaps Max.

Stephanie asks Melanie to stay and then leaves to be with her family.

Sami sighs, "I'm sorry for being Debbie Downer."

"I've been meaning to ask you," says Rafe, "How was Dallas?" He tries to cheer her up. Rafe has prepared a Mexican Christmas. He's going to make tamales from scratch, "And then it's time for your present. Trust me, you're gonna light up like the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Plaza. That's because the present is that I put a radio in your shower, but I’m not a very good electrician."

Julie tells Stefano he is not welcome. Stefano reminds her, "I own a lot of stock in this hospital and the board sits at my pleasure."

"I wish you a warm greeting and bid you goodbye," says Julie.

Doug comes up and asks Stefano what he's doing there. He pulls him aside, "Nobody wants you here, capiche?"


"All right," yells the director, "Can we do this episode in English, people?"

Back at Bo and Hope's house, the kids play with their toys. So do Theo and Ciara.

The ragtag crew sits around the Kiriakis table. Lucas continues to search for that elusive clue. He toasts, "May we share a million more Christmases just like this, all together."

Victor asks about Daniel's hand. Flashback. He says he slammed the car door on it.

Victor is concerned, "Can you still operate?"

"Yes," says Daniel, "I can grope with my left hand."

Lucas gets a call and leaves to take it. Victor is happy to see Phillip and Brady being civil to each other. Phillip says Kate sets a great example.

Victor compliments Brady on the way he's handling the fact that his ex wife is there, "It shows dignity."

"No," says Brady, "It shows I'm back on drugs."

"Well, It's admirable," says Victor. He looks directly at Chloe, "We should be hospitable even to the most unwanted of guests."

Kate gasps, "Victor! Please remember, Chloe saved my life."

"And I'll never forgive her for that," says Victor, "Besides, I believe Daniel was responsible for saving your life. Chloe has marrow – big deal, who doesn't?"

"I'd say you don't," says Kate, "There must be ice in your veins."

Lucas comes back and announces he has to leave, "You won't even know I was gone."

"That's not true," says Victor, "We'll be grateful to have a respite from the sound of your voice."

Chloe begs him not to leave her there. "You'll be fine," he promises. With Lucas gone, Kate decides they need to bridge the gap at the table so she has Daniel scoot up next to Chloe, "There – my two lifesavers are sitting together." Daniel peeks.

Doug and Julie play Santa and Mrs. Santa at the hospital. Patch and Kayla join the crowd. Patch sees Stefano and gets nasty. He wants to know what Stefano is doing there. "Unlike you," says Stefano, "I'm spreading goodwill."

Patch isn't in the Christmas spirit, "Get out, bastard!"

"Not in front of the kiddies," chides Stefano.

Patch keeps it up, "I'm telling you, there is going to be a scene."

"That'll be a new twist for this show," says Stefano.

Nicole joins EJ and apologizes for freaking out earlier. He says he's used to it. She wants to talk about the money thing, "I don't want it any more. I just want you and this baby. My wish is next year at this time we'll be here with Johnny and this baby. Actually, any baby."

"I'll bet Johnny wishes he were with us this year," says EJ.

Nicole asks, "Can you forgive me? I won't ever push you away."


Abe finds a present from Theo to mama. Lexie opens it and finds a drawing of himself he made for her. Hugs. "This is the best present I could ever get," says Lexie, "Except maybe for a gift card to 'Mercedes R Us.' "

Max and Melanie talk about their first Christmas without their father. Suddenly, the guy's a saint. Melanie mentions the fact that half of Max' family hates her guts. Apparently, the other half hasn't met her. Max goes back to the kitchen to check his pies. Melanie giggles and joins Santa's little elves. Stephanie and Chelsea tell her they are wrapping presents for children at hospital. Melanie says, "That is what Christmas is all about."

Stephanie asks, "Is that why you came over here Melanie? To give us the meaning of Christmas?"

"I came to apologize," says Melanie, "It was unfair of me to make a big deal about you and Phillip."

Stephanie ignores her. Melanie continues to be a real sweetheart, "Max has moved on, too. With your best friend Chelsea."

Lucas has Allie at the DiMera mansion. Roman shows up behind him and tells EJ, "We have a little Christmas surprise."

Rafe and Sami eat the Mexican Christmas meal. Rafe wishes her a "Felice Navidad."

"CUT! English, people! English!"

The food has calmed Sami a bit. Rafe gets philosophical, "My mother used to say the belly is the giver of genius. Which is good because in your case, it sure isn't the brain." Rafe talks about his mom and Sami gives him the third degree. Rafe clams up. They decide to open presents. Rafe opens his first. It's a penny. Sami's generosity is boundless. Sami explains OMB once offered her a penny for her thoughts and it was an overpayment so she's passing it along to him. Rafe will treasure it.

Now it's time for her present. Rafe opens his computer, "I got you a subscription to"

Chelsea denies hooking up with Max, "It's just that Max is going through hard times and I've (say it with her) tried to be there for him. He was (say it with her) there for me when I needed someone and I'm returning the favor. If something was happening I would tell you."

Stephanie admits she's relieved they aren't together, "I would have a serious problem with that. I now hate the guys guts, but that doesn't mean I'm not still the same possessive clinging creature I was before."

"A drama queen like you would have a problem with too much foam on her latte," says Chelsea.

Patch and Stefano have a standoff. Stefano snorts, "I am here to donate a very large sum of money to the pediatric ward. If I am not here, they will not get that money!"

"GET OUT," screams Patch, "Screw the kids! "

Lexie steps in and scoots Patch off. She asks Stefano to leave. He says he will go if that's what she wants. He leaves.

Doug reads the Christmas story. Patch broods. He looks toward the heavens, "I wanted to be the one to tell your story, Big Dude."

The Lord God Almighty sits on his throne in heaven, "Big Dude. That's what I like about my job. The respect."

Phillip decides to go out for a while. Kate, Brady and Victor stand alone in the foyer. "And then there were three," says Kate.

"Phillip doesn't want me around and neither does my ex wife," says Brady. He leaves. Kate and Victor share a stare.

Back in the dining room, Chloe asks, "Don't you think people will be wondering where we are. You act weird around me."

"No more games," says Daniel. He decides he has to leave, "Tell everyone it was a medical emergency." Chloe begs him to stay. Daniel shakes his head, "This is no good Chloe."

"I know," she says, "But on this show, it's the best you get." Chloe wants to work past the strangeness that has developed between them. Daniel wants to work past her teddy. She thanks him for saving Kate and kisses his cheek. Stares.

Nicole calls and gets Dr. Baker's machine, "You can't squeeze another nickel form me. You will keep your mouth shut or I will kill you!"

There are two kinds of people who don't survive in this crazy world: Pitchers that telegraph their pitches* and murderers who leave threats on answering machines.

*Prevuze – Best sports blog on the Internet.©

Sami bawls as she stares into her computer. Roman and EJ hold up the kids, "It's my babies," she squeals, "And Allie and Johnny, too. My heart is there with you right now."

"I wish you were, too," says Rafe.

EJ gets on and says it's good to see her. They miss her. Sami sniffles. Nicole stands in the background and sighs. Lucas picks his nose.

Doug reads the Christmas story. Phillip walks in and hands a little kid a flower. He gives a big check to the hospital. "Can't I have the check instead," asks the kid. Phillip walks over and smooches Stephanie.

Patch looks toward the heavens, "If you have issues with 'Big Dude,' you should talk about it. Don't keep your feelings bottled up inside."


You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website. Prevuze II should be up no later than noon, Eastern Time.

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Anonymous Sherry said...

Yeah, why aren't we getting Patchy Claus? Steve has been back for 3 Christmas's and we've yet to see him. :( I'd much rather see Patchy Claus than a pretender.

4:55 AM  
Blogger Wen said...

I was really disappointed we didn't get Patchy Claus!! He's been missing for years. He's the real santa i want to see!!

6:11 AM  
Blogger GG75 said...

forget Santa I Want Patchy Claus Back To he's been gone way to long !!!

6:28 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

"It's been very hard," agrees Maggie, "But not as hard as it was on Trent."

Oh man, I was two seconds away from having liquid in my mouth when I read that. That would have been a disaster.

My HUH?! moment:
Phillip gets on Brady for climbing the corporate ladder.

Unlike you, Phil-boy? Seems to me you went from job-less to CEO in about two seconds.

Max gives his Mortimer Snerd look. Mortimer Snerd steps into the scene, "Aw, come on, I don't look that dumb."

OMG! Prevuze has nailed it again. I KNEW Max reminded me of someone (or something) when he got that particular expression on his face. LOLOL

Lucas continues to search for that elusive clue.

Poor Lucas. Maybe he can ask Santa for one for Christmas. No, wait, can't do that. Max has Santa stuffed up a chimney somewhere. (A fabulous pic Bulldog.) A great place to put a body until someone decides to start a fire or Santa starts to get "ripe". Max, ya gotta start thinking these things through, boy!

Sadly, Prevuze, the only purpose of the Christmas show is to parade out the cast members who haven't had a storyline in months so the viewers don't completely forget them.

No Alice. No Patchy Claus. Christmas in Salem just isn't the same anymore.

Merry Christmas to all!

7:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Liquid mess on my keyboard after the Debbie and Dallas lines...Naughty Naughty Prevuze!!

Merry Christmas everyone!

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

A titanium neck! I WANT ONE!!! There's my entire Christmas list. Prevuze is so in-the-know! HAHAHA

I was also going to comment on Mortimer. That's a great comparison. Thank you for identifying what that look Max gets really is.

Here's a question - if they can communicate with Sami and show her the kids on Christmas, etc., why haven't they done this before? Wouldn't that have been a nice thing to do?

Loved "I'll bet Johnny wishes he were with us this year," and "There are two kinds of people who don't survive in this crazy world: Pitchers that telegraph their pitches and murderers who leave threats on answering machines."

Aaahh, Prevuze. Almost to Christmas. Thanks for the holiday cheer and happy holidays to all.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Another boring episode brought to life only through Prevuze!!

Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!!

8:54 AM  
Blogger Becky said...

No Patchy Clause, Dena gets coal in her stocking!

9:42 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Becky said...
No Patchy Clause, Dena gets coal in her stocking!

Correction, Becky -- Dena gets MORE coal in her stocking! She's already getting some for the lousy writing and lame storylines!

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder if Sami's son Will even exists anymore.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss Patchy Claus too. There must be some children in Salem who don't get presents from their families. (You know with the economic crisis and all)

3:36 PM  

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