Saturday, October 18, 2008

Lying, Scheming, Lowlife Slut

Mayor Moron-o knocks at the door to the DiMera mansion and demands Stefano let him in. A creep walks up behind him. The mayor turns and freezes as the goon pumps lead. The mayor goes down like the Internet in a cheap motel. The goon turns and sees Sami watching.

SSCCRREEAAMM!

Inside, EJ and Nicole are deep into couch calisthenics.

SSCCRREEAAMM!

EJ pants, "Am I that good?"

Stephanie is distracted as the waiter tries to get her attention. "I'm sorry," says Stephanie, "My mind is in screen saver mode."

In your case," says the waiter, "That would be Blue Screen Of Death mode. So why did you just salt your hot chocolate?"

"Because I used all the sugar on my French fries." Stephanie tells him it's guy trouble and this time Max has to do the right thing.

"You mean Max Brady, who gave up a successful, lucrative racing career to tend bar," asks the waiter, "I wouldn't count on him to do the right thing."

Melanie comes down from her latest rage and tells Max she might have killed Trent. Bo and Hope walk in. Bo asks Max if everything is all right. Max says things are just peachy keen. Bo scowls, "You know what, Max? I don't believe you."

WHAP!

Sami slings her purse into the goon's head. That's got to be a lethal blow if there ever was one. Sami takes off running as the guy goes down.

Speaking of going down, EJ and Nicole...

Sami runs in screaming, "EJ! EJ!" Those are pretty much her last two intelligible words. She runs around the room blithering and babbling as EJ attempts to bring the runaway freight train under control. Nicole accuses Sami of watching from the window and wants her out.

Outside, the creep has recovered from his near purseicide. He tinkers with the lock on the door and opens it.

Calm and collected Sami is on the phone. She hangs up and announces the police were already on their way because someone else made the call. Now that she's got that done she immediately switches back into blithering uncontrollable idiot mode. Bipolar? No. Sami flips poles so fast you can't see them to count them.

Sami blathers something about being at the window and that tees Nicole off, who gets on her for watching, "I know you're not getting any Sami, but there is such a thing as Pay Per View!" Nicole goes into her own rendition of a blithering maniac. Dang, it must be contagious. She tells EJ he can fall for Sami's act if he wants to, but she's had it. She storms out, flings open the front door, takes a step outside and trips over the corpse on the doorstep. Nicole lies on the sidewalk and gets her introduction to the late great mayor.

SSCCRREEAAMM!

Max and Melanie make excuses and leaves. Melanie wants to book, but Max drags her upstairs for some answers.

Bo and Hope discuss Max. Bo tells her the pair turned in the wallet yesterday, "He knows he's gotta do the right thing." Hope stares. Bo asks, "What's with the look?"

Hope says, "Ever since Melanie got to town, I'm not sure Max knows what the right thing is. Or his right from his left, for that matter."

Upstairs, Melanie tells Max, "I did see our father that night at the cemetery. Before... and after he died."

When she hears the scream from Nicole, Sami takes her frenzied nutcase act to new levels as she and EJ rush to the front door. EJ picks Nicole up and asks if she is OK while Sami explodes into a raging fit.

The cops walk up with Roman. Sami senses fresh meat to attack with her psychodrama and attaches herself to him panting, screaming and crying. Roman looks down at the body, "My God, that's Mayor Moron-o!"

EJ is amazed, "Your forensic skills are unbelievable, Roman."

Roman takes Sami the basket case inside. He questions her and asks if there were any other witnesses to the murder, "Nicole, EJ?"

"No," says EJ, "Nicole and I were inside committing other sins."

Roman walks Sami through the chain of events. She tells him she was out front and went around to the back window. "Did you see anything unusual?"

"No," says Sami, "Just an unusual mating dance, but I saw the same thing on Animal Planet last week."

"You mean Nicole and EJ were..."

"Yes."

"I'm a professional," says Roman, "I want every detail."


Nicole jumps in, "You keep saying you came her to tell EJ something. What was it, Sami?" Sami says she was there to talk to EJ about Johnny's schedule.

"We're taking this down to the station," says Roman.

Officer Snodgrass asks, "Should we wait for an ambulance, or do you want to take the corpse in a patrol car?"

Nicole tells Sami she thinks Sami did this. "Why would I kill the mayor of Salem," asks Sami.

"He probably heard you blithering and committed suicide just to get a little relief," says Nicole.

Stephanie sticks her head in the door to the pub and asks if Bo and Hope have seen Max. They tell her Max and Melanie left but they don’t' know where they went. Bo asks for a word with Stephanie, "We heard you and Melanie had a little incident... a real hair pulling, girl-slapping catfight. Sounds pretty good. Do you happen to know if the security cameras were running at the time so I could watch? "

Stephanie tells Bo and Hope this isn't the time. She vows her love for Max and runs out.

Melanie tells Max she and Trent struggled. She blacked out and when she came to, her head was throbbing, so she possibly hit it on the Jan Spears / Willow Starke memorial rock. When she regained consciousness, the knife was in Trent's back, "So I don't know... maybe I killed him."

That does it. Max decides he has to run down and tell Bo and Hope. Melanie goes into a rage and says she knew she never should have trusted him, "It's your fault I'm in this in the first place."

Max asks, "My fault?"

Melanie erupts, "Yeah! I never would have been in Salem at the wrong place at the wrong time if it wasn't for you! So tell me, did you travel halfway across the world just to find me and destroy me."

"No," says Max, "But now that I've gotten to know you, destroying you is my top priority."

Roman leads the fools' parade into the cop shop. He puts Sami in his office while he takes EJ off to question him. Nicole cons officer Lopez into getting her a glass of water and sneaks into Roman's office as Sami gets a call from the Brookville clinic. She asks what Sami needs to talk to Dr. Sanders about, "Are you finally getting that nose job?" Sami tells her Dr. Sanders is the pediatrician.

"I always wondered who your doctor was," says Nicole.

Sami wants Nicole to leave. Nicole wants to talk, "I'm going to be giving Johnny a baby brother or sister. From one stepmom to another, it's time we set some ground rules."

Melanie begs Max not to tell. She says if Caroline winds up in serious trouble, she'll step up and tell everything. Speaking of serious trouble, Stephanie comes in.

Nicole wants her child and Johnny to bond as siblings. In the meantime, Sami and Nicole bond as snivelings. Sami thinks Nicole is interested only in money, "I wonder what would happen if Trent were still alive to explain to EJ what a lying, scheming lowlife slut you are."

"If you're trying to make the point that Trent would try to convince EJ the baby isn't his, that's irrelevant because there has been a paternity test. Besides Trent is dead and that low-lying bastard is NEVER COMING BACK!"

"You never can tell," says Sami, "It happens all the time on this show."

Melanie decides this would be a good time to leave, "He's all yours, princess." She turns to Max as she leaves, "I'm trusting you with my life." Stephanie wants to know what Melanie told him. Max wants to clam up, but Stephanie presses.

Downstairs, Melanie finds Bo and Hope and decides it's time to sit down and explain why she was acting odd earlier, "But neither of you are gong to like what I have to say."

Bo says, "Then I'm guessing you're not going to say goodbye and tell us you're leaving Salem forever."

Stephanie begs Max to tell her what's going on.

Melanie explains things have just been crazy the past few weeks, what with her moving to Salem and all.

Bo says, "I guess the 'and all' includes your father's murder?"

"Life does have it's little irritations," says Melanie.


Melanie tells them some good did come out of the past few weeks, "I did meet my brother... you're brother, too, Bo. What does that make us?"

"Brothers-in-law, I think," says Bo, "But I'm not sure. I don't know the law very well."

Melanie rambles and lies about not planting the wallet, "Max said the only prints on the wallet were his and Stephanie's. So maybe I'm not the only suspect you should be looking at. Maybe you should be looking closer to your home."

Bo gasps, "CIARA! I knew it!"

Nicole and Sami banter on and accuse each other of being idiots. They're both right. Roman and EJ come in bickering and accusing each other of being idiots. They're both right. Nicole reminds Roman EJ nor his family had anything to do with the murder, "EJ and I were in the rumpus room making love. Sami can vouch for us because she was leering at us through the window."

Roman sends EJ and Nicole outside, "Sami are you sure you're up to this?" Sami says she is. Roman gets out his rubber hose.

Outside, Nicole tells EJ she should go to the hospital. EJ gets huffy and Nicole asks him what's more important, a woman who doesn't care about it or the health of their unborn child. EJ says, "Stop."

Nicole says, "No I won't stop. Not when our baby's life is in danger."

Prevuze

Sami tells Roman about the mayoricide. Roman wonders if Sami can identify the perp's face. "I'll never forget it," says Sami.

The murderous creep walks into his seedy room and makes a call.

Melanie beats around the bush trying to convince Bo to suspect Max of the murder while claiming she's not trying to convince Bo to suspect Max of the murder, "Then there's Stephanie. I hate to use this term... it's such a cliché..."

"It won't be the first cliché ever used on this show," says Hope.

"She's passive-aggressive."

"I saw the tapes of the catfight," says Bo, "She looked pretty active-aggressive to me."\

Max tells Stephanie everything, "...and when she came to, she saw our father with the knife in his back." Stephanie tries to convince him to go to Bo and Hope. Max refuses, "I'm going to keep my sister's confidence, and you will do the same thing."

Melanie hopes they will take a long hard look at Stephanie and bring her father's killer to justice. She leaves. Bo stares. Hope stares.

Max presses. Stephanie resists. Max turns up the pressure. Stephanie relents, "Thank you sir! May I have another, sir?"

Spencer the sketch artist comes in and Sami begins her description of the creep.

Nicole gets bent out of shape because EJ wants to tell Sami they are leaving, "Why is being with her more important than me and our baby?"

Premiere Party Girl gets on the Internet and announces to her fans that this is her last webcast, "I've gone through some tough times and I've been thinking a lot lately. It's a new experience. Don't worry about me. This is Premiere Party Girl signing off for the last time." She shuts off the camera and says, "It's gonna work out just perfectly."

Stephanie comes into the pub and walks up to Bo and Hope, "I couldn't focus. There's a lot on my mind."

"What," asks Bo, "Two things instead of one?" Stephanie tells them there is something she knows about Melanie and what she has done to Max.

EJ tells Nicole she's right, "Our baby comes first." They leave.

Sami continues her description for the sketch artist. She says she's finding this harder than she thought it would be, "But I’m 100% sure I could pick him out of a lineup."

"Not good odds," says Roman, "What about the other 50%?"

The creep is on the phone, "She saw me. A cute little blonde with a big set of pipes... no, by that, I mean vocal cords." He picks up his gun, "I know what I gotta do... take care of our little problem tonight."

The sketch artist hands the drawing to Sami.


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website. Prevuze II should be up no later than noon, Eastern Time.

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15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

that was hilarious-committing suicide to escape sami's blithering!!!and speaking of going down-like the titanic I bet EJ!! You guys deserve a writing award for this episode-had me in stitches and here in australia we won't get to see it for nearly a year-can't wait!!! Luceoz

6:34 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

I stayed up ALL NIGHT, just so I could be the first one to FINALLY get to read the Friday-Saturday-Monday's show Prevuze. It was worth it! What a hoot!

So many LOL moments, starting with Max's chest hair shaving mishaps and "The Old Grey Mayor".

Some other great moments:

The mayor goes down like the Internet in a cheap motel.

I take it Prevuze has had some first-hand experience lately?

Nicole tells Sami she thinks Sami did this. "Why would I kill the mayor of Salem," asks Sami. "He probably heard you blithering and committed suicide just to get a little relief," says Nicole.

This episode looks like one long scream-a-thon.

"I did meet my brother... you're brother, too, Bo. What does that make us?" "Brothers-in-law, I think," says Bo.

This was truly a laugh until tears started forming moment.

And, of course, there was my HUH?! moment of the show:

Melanie tells Max she and Trent struggled. She blacked out...

How conveeeeenient. Puh-leeze! How many people who aren't narcoleptic, epileptic, or totally and completely drunk just "black out"?

It was followed quickly by a great Prevuism...

...when she came to, her head was throbbing, so she possibly hit it on the Jan Spears / Willow Starke memorial rock.

Sounds like you went through a lot to bring us this gem, but THANK YOU Prevuze.

6:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

purseicide

LOLOLOL - another great addition to the Prevuze lexicon.


KOTU

6:39 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

How conveeeeenient. Puh-leeze! How many people who aren't narcoleptic, epileptic, or totally and completely drunk just "black out"?

Thousands of DOOL viewers do it every day.

6:42 AM  
Anonymous Button Nose said...

Why is Nicole going to the hospital? She's really not using her pregnancy to keep Ej from Sami already is she?-

I wasn't looking forward to Monday's episode, but after your review I just can't wait. :D

7:25 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

I had to go back and re-read the parts before Nicole started insisting they go to the hospital because I thought I'd missed something. If she's going to do that during her whole pregnancy EJ should take the fastest route out of town and keep going. Run, EJ, run!

Sami witnessing the murder is probably how they'll get Alison off-screen during the last part of her pregnancy. Either the creeps will kidnap Sami so they can all frantically search for her or Pardo will put her in a witness protection cabin somewhere.

LOL over "Brothers-in-law, I think," says Bo." and "I'm 100%sure I could pick him out of a lineup" "Not good odds," says Roman, "What about the other 50%?" But especially "My God, that's Mayor Moron-o!" EJ is amazed, "Your forensic skills are unbelievable, Roman." HAHAHAHAHA

What a great Saturday treat, Prevuze. Thank you for taking time out of your time on the road to bring it to us. Enjoy the weekend, all!

8:40 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Why is Nicole going to the hospital? She's really not using her pregnancy to keep Ej from Sami already is she?-

Nicole wants to go to the hospital because she tripped over the dead body and wants to make sure she didn't harm the baby. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so very much for saving me from putting this garbage on my television screen.

11:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry ~ I am a little Vhe-clemped right now. I just read yesterday's post...and you Quoted me! I am the one who said you guys are ALWAYS on the road....

I was going to post about today, but I am so choked up with emotion. I feel like Sami when she finally finds out all of her kids belong to Lucas.
Great Re-Cap ~ Have a safe trip. :)

2:10 PM  
Anonymous mudcat said...

Nicole wants to go to the hospital because she tripped over the dead body and wants to make sure she didn't harm the baby. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

You made it clear... it's just hard for us to expect logical thinking from any of these characters.

2:21 PM  
Anonymous Klaus said...

Oh well, I've blacked out before. Maybe thrice in my relatively short life. Of course I've never been accused of murder or in a homicidal deathmatch fight when it happened.

Oh, goodness, why is Nicole of all people screaming? She's tried attempted murder before, or did she think she was going to tickle Victor way back then.

" So tell me, did you travel halfway across the world just to find me and destroy me."
While I don't agree with this exactly, it's pretty spot on. Meet Max, and a few months later end up in jail for murder.

From one stepmom to another, it's time we set some ground rules."
Whom exactly is Sami the stepmother of?

While Melanie is a brat, if it wasn't for her, and/or the mayor. Bo or Roman would have NEVER looked at their family for possible suspects despite overwhelming evidence.

Stephanie tells them there is something she knows about Melanie and what she has done to Max.
Guinness book of records for shortest kept secret ever?

11:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved the pic of Daniel & Kate. Can see Kate asking to do it again so they can feel really, really guilty!!! Did I mention I am back to hating Chelsea!!!

3:26 PM  
Anonymous berg said...

Ah - but no one gave Prevuze kudos for the "old dead mayor ain't what he use to be, ain't what he use to be" it's so catchy and I am still freakin laughing.

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Premiere Party Girl gets on the Internet and announces to her fans that this is her last webcast,..."

Uhm, did I miss something?

Another great post Prevuze! It is always so much better than the actual show!
Thanks!!

10:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey all...here's a link if you're interested in the Sami/EJ baby story line!

http://talk.soapoperafan.com/days-spoilers-news-rumors/1629-sami-crossfire.html

I'm SO excited because I'm an EJami fan!!!

Judy

10:52 PM  

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