Friday, March 14, 2008

One Smug, Vulgar SOB

We spent the entire day yesterday working on an invention, which is certain to make a fortune. We added a small camera to our video remote and programmed it with face recognition capabilities. Now, whenever Hope is on screen and this device senses movement in the area of her lips, it automatically zaps the scene.

Daniel and Shawn bring Chelsea into the hospital. Daniel barks orders as Chelsea insists she will be fine. "It's not you I'm worried about," snorts the miracle worker.

The crowd in Grand Central Sta... uh, I mean Bo's room watches while Lexie prepares Bo for the operation.

Bo stands firm, "There is not gonna be an operation. I am not gonna put my daughter at risk."

"I guess you're right," says Victor, "It's not really the fact that Ciara is too, young, it's just that you never can find her."

Everyone gangs up on Bo. He sounds as drunk as Chelsea is. Caroline begs Bo to listen to reason. They also tell him Chelsea is downstairs and she wants to go through with the operation.

Marlena stands at the docks and makes a call, "Where are you?"

Phillip answers, "Right here. So, what's up?" Marlena wants to talk about John and knows he would kill her if he knew she was doing this.

Paul, the customs official and bureaucratic toad, tells John he's new at this, but he's used to lobster in first class. His wife constantly hits him up for alimony and child support. He asks John, "Are you married?"

"Sorta," says John.

"Sorta," asks Paul, "Sorta sucks." Paul says he needs cash. John knows Paul has the power over what goes through customs. He asks if Paul and Victor are friends. "Not particularly."

"Excellent."

Bo insists the operation is not going to happen. Hope says, ~~~~~~~~~~~~. OMG! The auto-zapper actually works! Lexie decides to give Bo a shot for the pain. She sucks a double dose into the hypo and jams it into Bo. Unfortunately the pain does not go away – hope remains in the room. Bo zones and Lexie explains the operation.

Chelsea wants to sleep it off. Daniel says they don't have that option. "You're crunk, aren't you?"

"NO," insists the drunken brat, "I didn't do any drugs. I'm just drunk." Daniel can't operate when she is drunk. Chelsea whines that she didn't know she was the donor.

Kate defends her and says she thinks Daniel should have given her some guidelines about waiting to get plastered until after she found out she wasn't the donor, "This is Salem, you can't expect people to have common sense.".

Daniel turns to a nurse, "Get some Ringer's Lactate into her system, stat!"

Phillip tells Marlena John told him all previous alliances are off. "He's taking you on head on," says Marlena, "He's been enjoying the high life, but apparently the high life isn't high enough for him. He thinks he has to be #1 in shipping."

Paul tells John what he knows about Victor, "The shipping business is his bread and butter."

John drones, "I want some of that Kiriakis bread and most of the butter. That's where you come in."

Lexie explains that she hates the fact she had to double Bo's dose of painkiller and knock him out, but he was being stubborn, "Ethics are such pesky little annoyances, but now since he can't sign the consent papers, Hope can do it for him. If you don't sign, Bo will die. No pressure, though." Hope grabs Lexie's clipboard and signs. Kayla goes out and tells Victor and Caroline Hope has signed the forms.

Daniel lectures the sot, "My patient's life, your father's life, is over." Things degrade and Daniel kicks Kate and Shawn out. Chelsea tells Daniel she's mad about the way he's talking to her.

"You should be mad," he snorts.

"I am mad."

"You don't seem mad," he taunts, "I can't hear you."

"I AM MAD!"

"I know that but are you angry?"

"I AM MAD!"

"Good," says Daniel, "Scream so the whole hospital can hear."

Chelsea is only too happy to oblige, "I AM MAD! I AM MAD! I AM MAD! I AM MAD! I AM MAD!"

Daniel storms out and Shawn grabs him. Shawn goes on and on and on raging at Daniel for acting so unprofessionally.

Daniel stands there like a bump on a log until Shawn runs out of gas. When Shawn finally shuts his mouth calm Daniel asks, "Are you done?" Daniel explains he did that on purpose, so her heart will keep pumping, "I don't want to give her adrenaline. Now we have a chance."

Marlena says she had to warn Phillip. Phillip remains cool. Marlena asks him to avoid a turf war. "It's war all right," says Phillip, "But it looks more like a naval battle."

Marlena says, "That can't happen. You have to back off. John isn't himself these days. He's become accustomed to living in the mansion and he's decided he likes having money."

"Money is power," says Phillip.

"Power corrupts," says Marlena.

John tells Paul, "Follow up on our understanding and you will be back swinging a polo mallet before you know it."

Marlena says John has everything and wonders what else he could want. "More wonderful things," says Phillip.

Marlena thinks John will destroy anyone in his way, "And you are in his way." John discovers them. He asks if she is giving trade secrets to his competitor. "You don't think we're competitors," says Phillip, "You think we are enemies."

"I can live with that."

"We had an agreement," says Phillip.

"You had a deal with Stefano DiMera," scowls John, "That's not me. I'm not interested in a deal. Stefano programmed me to be a killer, but I haven't killed anyone. I'm not a killer."

"You're a boardroom killer," says Marlena.

"Thanks for the compliment," says John, "I knew you really had a good time in that tent in Greenland."

"I said BOARDROOM not BEDROOM," says Marlena.

John says, "Well then my first executive decision is to liquidate Kiriakis shipping."

Phillip says, "There's gonna be a very high price to pay."

John smiles, "Yep."

"For everyone," says Phillip.

Belle joins the crowd in Bo's room and asks to talk to everyone outside. Hope knows Bo will be mad at her for signing the papers against his wishes. She kisses him and leaves with the others. Outside, Belle announces Chelsea is hammered. "We're trying to flush her system," says Lexie.

"Save her system and flush her," says Victor.

Shawn tells Daniel about Chelsea's life of little indiscretions and her Zack-icide and Ford-icide. He also tells her Chelsea just lost OMB, "She's been through hell."

Daniel understands, "I have to get her heart pumping, but I want to do it the old fashioned way."

Chelsea lies in the fetal position as Daniel comes in. He tells her the only thing she can do to get the alcohol out of her system is get angry. He understands she has been through a lot. He made her mad on purpose to get her heart rate up. He would have put her on a treadmill but was afraid she would pass out again. He doesn't want to have to yell again. She says she feels more sober. "Is there anything else you can think of that might raise your heart rate," says Daniel. She invites him to join her on the gurney.

Daniel says he talked to Shawn and now knows he might have pushed her too far. Kate walks in as the brat apologizes for being stupid.

"Stupid means never having to say you're sorry," says Daniel.

Lexie thinks it might be hours before Chelsea can go into surgery. She and Kayla head for the OR to make sure the rooms are held open. To hell with the other patients waiting for surgery.

Blithering Hope goes back into Bo's room, "Bo, you have to hang on ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" That auto-zapper thing works better than I ever thought it would. Bo is a vegetable, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knows having a conversation with Hope is a lot better when he's unconscious.

"What do you think you're going to do," asks Phillip, "Go out and read 'Shipping For Dummies' and take over the shipyard?"

"No," says John, "All it takes is being ruthless. I don't remember a lot but I remember the definition of ruthless – making someone watch Hope rant without an auto-zapper."

Marlena breaks in, "John, you've always had a heart."

"All my heart can do is pump blood," says John

Marlena and Phillip get simultaneous calls. They hang up and announce they talked to Belle and Victor, respectively. "Did she tell you about Bo," asks Phillip.

Daniel walks out of Chelsea's room and Kate follows. She walks up to him, winds up and starts to smack him upside the head. Daniel blocks her. Kate rages, "Don't ever talk to her like that again. You're one smug, vulgar SOB."

Daniel remains calm, "That's a judgment call."

Shawn steps up and defends Daniel. Daniel says he is a wee bit too busy to explain, and rushes off. Shawn tells Kate why Daniel did what he did. He also tells Kate he apologized to Chelsea. Kate goes back in to see her.

Belle and Hope are together. Belle says, "Chelsea's lost a lot of people in her life."

Hope says, "And because of her stupidity she could lose her father as well." Aw, man, Hope has been yapping so much the batteries on the auto-zapper have gone dead. Hope revisits the dark side. She says she will never forgive Chelsea. She decides to go have a "chat" with her. Victor starts to go with her, but Caroline stops him.

Back at the docks, Marlena says Bo is going downhill fast but they can't do the transplant, "Belle didn't say why."

Phillip is all too happy to fill in the blanks, "Chelsea is drunk." Marlena and Phillip decide they'd better get to the hospital.

"This is why you will lose," says John, "You concern yourself with trivial matters." Phillip fells sorry for John because he will never know what it means to be close to his family.

Marlena says, "You once told me nothing brings you more joy than your family."

"Maybe I was drunk myself when I said that," says John. Phillip and Marlena leave. John stares, "It's all mind over matter, Beauregard. You just hang in there. You can make it."

Bo mumbles. Caroline tells him Chelsea is at the hospital. Bo says he has to tell her there won't be an operation, "Ma, don't be mad. Pop gave his life for me. I'm doing this for my daughter." Caroline says she could never be mad at Bo. Bo drifts off and Kayla and Lexie come back in just in time for Bo's machines to go berserk. Lexie goes into action, "I can't get a pulse." Kayla starts CPR.

Hope storms up to Chelsea's room, but stops when she sees Kate in there with her. She hangs back and eavesdrops – she figures she might overhear some juicy gossip. Chelsea tells Kate she would die for her dad. "I killed Zack," she bawls.

"That was an accident," says Kate.

Chelsea continues to whine, "I don't want to be the cause of Dad dying also. If I could switch places I would do it in a heartbeat." Hope walks away.

The doctors work on Bo. Lexie and Kayla watch.

Victor tells Caroline she doesn't have to be strong. Caroline says OMB would want her to be strong. In a way she's glad he's not there to see this.

"He must be in heaven then," says Victor, "It must be heaven if you can't watch DOOL."

Marlena and Phillip walk in. Victor updates them, "Chelsea's purging is taking a long time."

"That's odd for a bulimic," says Marlena.

Lexie comes out and announces Bo has lost consciousness.

Chelsea insists she feels sober. Lexie says it will probably take a while longer. She looks at Chelsea's numbers and says she is not ready. Kate encourages Chelsea to get mad at something. Apparently Dr. Jonas still thinks she would pass out on a treadmill.

John stalks. The family gathers in the waiting room. Belle sees John and tells him she's happy to see him there. She knows he's worried.

John whispers, "Don't tell anyone."

Daniel and Hope rush into Bo's room. Hope is back in her state of uncontrolled blithermania. Daniel looks at Bo and turns to Hope, "If we have to wait to operate, you might want to say goodbye."


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

26 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I use to work in a hospital and I can tell you no competent doctor would ever handle a patient the way Daniel did Chelsea. THat was just so stupid. And speaking of stupid, no doctor would double the medication dose either to knock their patient out so the wife could sign consent forms. If this hospital was real it would have to stop treating patients and go full time to defend the mallpractice suits. The stupidity on this show is really getting to me.

Peeved

4:18 AM  
Anonymous Ellie said...

Aw, John's really worried about Bo! I love that stuff.

She and Kayla head for the OR to make sure the rooms are held open. To hell with the other patients waiting for surgery.

Hahaha. But have you ever seen any non DOOL patient in that hospital at all?? Maybe everyone else in Salem goes to a different hospital where they actually know what they're doing.

Thanks for a great Prevuze!

5:05 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

We spent the entire day yesterday working on an invention, which is certain to make a fortune. We added a small camera to our video remote and programmed it with face recognition capabilities. Now, whenever Hope is on screen and this device senses movement in the area of her lips, it automatically zaps the scene.

Super!!! When is it going to be available on QVC? Hopefully, it can be purchased just prior to Hope popping up to hawk her jewelry.

Shawn goes on and on and on raging at Daniel for acting so unprofessionally.

That would be SOP at Salem’s hospital, police station, dog pound, fire house, cat house, etc.

"Power corrupts," says Marlena.

…and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

I said BOARDROOM not BEDROOM," says Marlena.

…and then that bedroom turned into a real bored room for the viewers.

He must be in heaven then," says Victor, "It must be heaven if you can't watch DOOL."

Amen.

Your zapper sounds like a great invention. Now if you can expand it to include Sami’s blubbering, Chelsea’s whining, Max and Stephanie’s stupid conversations, Steve and Kayla’s equally stupid conversations, Lexis’s diagnostic skills or lack there of, and flashbacks to Patch’s time with Ava, I would be grateful. Since I won’t have to fast forward nearly so often, I can also save money on batteries for my remote.

I loved The Salem Sleazebucket and all the rest of the photos and captions!!! Can’t wait to purchase my Prevuze Zapper!!!

5:46 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

The stupidity on this show is really getting to me.

Just think about that and get really angry if you ever need to sober up quickly.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Dr Daniel Jonas is really "unconventional." And seriously stupid. At least he took his scarf off, which he wore for about 8 hours straight. This whole Bo being sick is ridiculous, but it's actually moving along pretty fast...since when has any storyline moved this fast on DOOL? Bo shouldn't be on the brink of death for at least another 2 weeks.

Loved all the Prevuisms, most listed by Ellie and Leslie and the new zapper too...can it be programmed to work on my mother? (I'm just kidding, Mom! sort of....)

6:36 AM  
Anonymous Frog said...

The crowd in Grand Central Sta... uh, I mean Bo's room watches while Lexie prepares Bo for the operation.

Even while they shaved him??

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

OMG, I'm willing to order two of your new Hopezappers! One would be as a backup.

It didn't take the Chief of Staph long to break the rules did it? This might be a new Salem Hospital record.

Great Prevuisms (Save her system and flush her) and pictures. Thanks and Happy Friday!! :D

7:01 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

"You're crunk, aren't you?" ?? Crabby drunk? Crappy drunk? Typo? LOLOL

Marlena says she had to warn Phillip. Why????

Great pictures, too. Loved Shelbydee’s Patch progression and, of course, the Salem Sleezebucket.

Most prevuisms have been noted, but there was also - I remember the definition of ruthless – making someone watch Hope rant without an auto-zapper. HAHAHA

That would be one great device. Hoards will be clamoring for it. The Prevuze team will make a fortune. They’ll be able to live in the lap of luxury somewhere. Maybe move to an island, far, far away from civilization and not be bother by telephones, televisions, DOOL feeds…..

Wait! What am I saying? No, no, it’s a terrible invention. No one will ever want one. You’re wasting your time, Prevuze. Throw away the proto-type. Burn the plans.

We can’t lose you!

7:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bureaucratic toad

Aren't they all? HARR HARR


FROUGETH

7:15 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"You're crunk, aren't you?" ?? Crabby drunk? Crappy drunk? Typo? LOLOL

OMG, AC, I think you just flunked the 'hipness' test. The word 'crunk' has been around for a long time. There are many theories on its origin, none of which is worth going into. Roughly, you may think of it as a combination of 'crazy' and 'drunk,' although your suggestions would work just as well. Lately, however it has come to imply being on drugs while drunk ('coked' and drunk), which is how Chelsea interpreted it when the good Dr. Jonas asked her about it.

7:29 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Even while they shaved him??

Frog, please. We do have some standards here. Remember, some people read Prevuze while eating breakfast.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The dialouge on the show is absolutely insufferable. I mean, the worst of the worst. You know it's bad when you can't even wait for PREVUZE to be over. Sorry Prevuze - no offense! Love ya!

7:56 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Daniel understands, "I have to get her heart pumping, but I want to do it the old fashioned way."

Wow talk about a missed opportunity for not only a Prevuzism, but for a censored link picture!!
Come on! Not even a *wink wink, nudge nudge*?

I feel so deprived!

Lexie thinks it might be hours before Chelsea can go into surgery. LEXIE! There you go thinking again! Just stop it!

I agree Michelle, we could have Bo hanging in there for quite a while. At least he's not talking or solving crimes. LOL

Be sure to check out my newest Blog post today!
These Are The Daze Of Our Lives

7:58 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Wow talk about a missed opportunity for not only a Prevuzism, but for a censored link picture!!
Come on! Not even a *wink wink, nudge nudge*?

I feel so deprived!


Good call, Deb. The original text read as follows:

Daniel understands, "I have to get her heart pumping, but I want to do it the old fashioned way."

Shawn asks, "Do you think she's in any condition to have sex?"

Chelsea lies in the fetal position as Daniel comes in. He tells her the only thing she can do to get the alcohol out of her system is get angry. He understands she has been through a lot. He made her mad on purpose to get her heart rate up. He would have put her on a treadmill but was afraid she would pass out again. He doesn't want to have to yell again. She says she feels more sober. "Is there anything else you can think of that might raise your heart rate," says Daniel. She invites him to join her on the gurney.

So when I edited the document I took out Shawn's Prevuzism because it was essentially the same as the one in the following paragraph. I removed Shawn's because I though it was a bit crude and Prevuze is, of course, way too high clazz to ever be crude, even though I thought Shawn saying it was a little funnier.

Also considered:

Daniel understands, "I have to get her heart pumping, but I want to do it the old fashioned way."

John Hausman walks up and asks, "Does that mean you will you make her eeaarrnnnn it?"

So, shout out if you know who John Houseman is and what that alludes to...

As Deb would say... ***~~~ crickets ~~~*** ***~~~ crickets ~~~*** ***~~~ crickets ~~~***

8:56 AM  
Blogger Firstfall said...

I agree you should avoid references to the Smith Barney brokerage commercials, but he might have had a better line from Silver Spoons. :)

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And speaking of stupid, no doctor would double the medication dose either to knock their patient out so the wife could sign consent forms. And that is why doctors are not allowed to treat friends and family...so they won't be tempted to do something unethical...just like that.

9:43 AM  
Anonymous em said...

Hope says, ~~~~~~~~~~~~. OMG! The auto-zapper actually works!

Even tho I knew it was going to happen, this was a 'projectile spit your drink' moment. I loved it!

...

And I know JH was an actor, but don't recall the reference. Grade F.

11:01 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

And I know JH was an actor, but don't recall the reference.

Correct, em, and so as not to leave you or anyone else in the dark, Houseman used to do commercials for the investment firm, Smith Barney. His catch phrase was, "We make money the old fashioned way... we eeaarrnn it."

Houseman also played the iconic Kingsfield in the TV series Paper Chase, as well as the movie.

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prevuze II??

11:52 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Well Prevuze, I was thinking more along the lines of...

Daniel understands, "I have to get her heart pumping, but I want to do it the old fashioned way."

Well that leaves Nick out... Shawn says.

OR

Shawn nods "Well my sister does have a thing for older sleazy doctor type guys."

12:20 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Prevuze II??

Thanks, Anon. It's up. You should identify yourself so I can give you credit for having the brain cells I obviously lack. I really do have a reminder set to pop up but I just doesn't always come up. I'll try to do better in the future.




I was thinking more along the lines of...

Good ones, Deb. You are right, I missed a golden opportunity by not saying something there.

12:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please don't misunderstand; it wasn't a criticism or anything. I think we all appreciate that you take the time to put up the recaps and show clips. We know you have a real life and sometimes can't get to it...but we miss it when it's not there.

12:58 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Anon:

It was not taken as a criticism. I get upset with myself when I forget... which seems to happen more and more lately.

Thanks

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Daniel understands, "I have to get her heart pumping, but I want to do it the old fashioned way."

Well that leaves Nick out... Shawn says.

OR

Shawn nods "Well my sister does have a thing for older sleazy doctor type guys."


…and so does her grandmother but she goes for younger sleazy doctor type guys. Hey, kids, I’ve seen spoilers that Dr. Dan goes for older sleazy ho type gals.

2:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Kate did almost slap him. In DOOLland, that is considered foreplay.

5:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great stuff Prevuze. I've got to admit that I've been enjoying the show the last several weeks. I haven't said that in a couple of years or so!!

7:37 PM  

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