Thursday, March 13, 2008

Alien Abduction

And now, for another day of adventure in Salem, USA, where nothing changes except the seasons. And we're even beginning to wonder about that...

A janitor slowly mops the corridors of Salem hospital, which are awash in Hope's tears and slobber. She's slimed the window to Bo's room so much, they've decided that just has to be replaced.

Inside, Hope continues to worry, "Bo has to come through this. He and I have been to hell and back."

"Bo is married to you," says Patch, "He's still there."

Hope rambles. The ole philosopher himself, Steven Earl Johnson, sits with the ever-distraught basket case and pontificates his mental meanderings, "Things aren't real until they happen, and right now Bo is still alive and fighting. You can hold on to that."

"That was very poignant and sensitive," says Hope, "You've really mellowed since you were here earlier."

"I know," says Patch, "I just got laid."


Bo rattles.

Kayla tells Shawn they have a donor and asks him to come to the lab.

Victor and Caroline meet in the park where Caroline has stopped to brood. She breaks down and Victor tries to comfort her, but he says it's a risky procedure. His friend Daniel will do his best.

The operation preparations are in full swing.

The drunken brat orders another screwdriver, "Go eashy on the oranche juishe." Kate finds her and says she has been looking for her. "You found me," slurs the plastered brat. I've been scheking in wiff the hoschpital. No news, no donor, no chance." She tells Kate getting schnockered numbs the pain for her – in the rest of her body. Her brain has been numb for years.

Kate says, "He's not dead yet, Chelsea."

Chelsea bawls, "No, but he will be, thanks to me. I am Chelsea Benson Brady, otherwise known as the kiss of death."

Kate lectures and tries to grab her glass. The brat pulls it away and continues to guzzle and feel sorry for herself. She thinks she's a jinx, "Everybody my life touches dies. Everyone I touch with an SUV dies, too." Kate grabs for her glass and gets it this time. The booze continues to talk. Unfortunately the words come out of Chelsea's mouth.

"I'm taking you home to sober you up," says Kate.

"Why wouldchew do that?"

"Because I love you."

"Itsch unhealthy to love me," says the lush.

Victor and Caroline continue to ponder what might happen. Caroline says, "Kimberly is being tested in LA. It's too bad Bo needs a pancreas instead of all the spare skin they removed from her last plastic surgery." Victor would gladly give his life for his son. Caroline says she knows all of Bo's fathers would do that. She wonders if Phillip might be a match. Victor says he is being tested, "Losing another body part wouldn't be a big deal for him." They head back to the hospital to see if there is any news.

Get your zappers out folks. Hope frets. That's all you need to know. Bo rattles.

All is ready in the lab. All we need is the donor. Shawn and Kayla come in. Shawn asks, "What's all the secrecy? Why don't you just tell me who the donor is... OMG, it's me, isn't it?" Lexie says no. They don't want to say who it is until they make contact – In case the donor has a change of heart. But right now they can't find the donor. "Why did you bring me here," asks Shawn.

"We want to tell everyone we found the donor," says Kayla, "It's dangerous to talk in the hallway the way Hope has the floors all slobbered up."

Lexie calls and leaves a message, "You are a match for Bo. Please call."

More Hope. More maudlinicity. Bo rattles.

Patch goes out and tells the gathering crowd Bo is weak. Belle says they took Shawn to the lab. They all speculate. Shawn comes back and announces they found a donor but have to wait until they contact him or her.

Chelsea orders another. Kate cancels it and orders coffee. Chelsea protests and says Kate can't cut her off. The bartender says he can – and he does. "What if I drank myshelf to death," says the sot, "I could shave countelssh lives."

Chelsea starts to leave. Kate orders her to drink the coffee. The bartender brings her a cup of steaming hot joe.

WHAM! Chelsea throws it across the room and goes off the deep end. She turns on Kate, "Your life is just as messhed up as mine and I need to go shomeplace more quiet and lessh populated with overbearing grandmothers!" She bolts and Kate gets stuck with the bill.

Daniel says, "I can't believe you can't find the donor."

Lexie says, "They'll be found."

Daniel asks, "And if they're not? I can't believe this. The donor is missing and Bo's life is on the line. The only excuse the donor has for disappearing is alien abduction." Lexie is sure the donor will be found.

Kayla walks in on the motley crew in the hall. She says everything is ready but they can't find the donor. She goes in to fill in Bo and Hope.

Kate runs out into the alley and calls for Chelsea. She calls Nick and asks if he knows where she is. Nick will let her know if he hears anything.

Kayla tells Bo and Hope about the donor. Hope freaks. Uber-mellow Patch tries to calm her down. Kayla tells them she can't say who the donor is. That sends Hope completely off the scale. She can't stand to have any information withheld from her. The dying Bo looks up and Kayla, "I gotta know who it is." Kayla caves in, breaks all ethical rules and tells him it's Chelsea.

Chelsea staggers and remembers Bo asking her to move in with him and Hope, "Zack's bedroom is available." Then she remembers visiting Bo in the hospital.

Kate gives the bartender her number in case Chelsea returns. She leaves.

Bo decides he won't Chelsea do it. The Salem city council, league of women voters and mens' glee club have all joined the crowd in Bo's room. They all encourage him to go through with it. Dr. Jonas and Lexie come in. If any more people join the throng, they'll have to move Bo into the Bob Anderson Memorial Auditorium. Daniel says it's Chelsea's decision, not his. Bo says, "You're wrong. It's my decision. I refuse to go through with the operation."

"Release the surgical teams," barks Daniel, "And prepare for the next surgery."

Hope bounces off the walls. She hits new levels of freak-o-mania as Bo continues to insist he won't go through with the operation, "That kid doesn't know what's best for her."

Caroline explodes, "You're the perfect example of that right now."

"Pop gave up his life for me," says Bo, "I will not let my daughter do it too."

Caroline has an aftershock, "Do you think Shawn gave up his life so you could die? I am your mother and I'm saying you're going to go through with this."

"So," says Bo, "You're playing the 'ma card,' eh? It won't work. I'm not gonna change my mind."

Shawn enters and says he can't get hold of anyone else. They tell him Chelsea is missing. "OMG," gasps Shawn, "Are you telling me Chelsea is the donor."

Chelsea staggers. She plops onto a park bench and contemplates her phone, "That's a lot of voicemails. They found a donor for Dad." She drops the phone and passes out as it vibrates.

Back out in the hallway, the throng discusses the situation. Victor, Shawn and Patch go into action to find Chelsea.

Inside, Bo continues to refuse to let Chelsea be the donor.

Shawn and Belle hit the Cheatin' Heart. The bartender tells them Chelsea left about a half hour ago. He also tells them Kate was there.

Chelsea remains passed out on the bench. Kate searches and screams for her. She somehow manages to walk around the bench about seventeen times without looking at it. She gets a call from Shawn and tells him she can't find her. Kate continues to yell, search and play ring-around-the-rosy with the bench. Shawn tries calling Chelsea again. Chelsea vegetates as her phone vibrates.

Patch says Chelsea is nowhere in the hospital. Hope comes out of Bo's room. Bo lies in bed and remembers a tender moment with Chelsea when he promised he would do everything in his power to always be there for her, "No way are you putting your life on the line for me."

Caroline tells Hope they can't find Chelsea. More Hyperhopemania ensues. She goes back in with Bo and tells him Chelsea will be there soon. Bo wants to talk to her and let her know he won't let her put her scummy, unimportant, insignificant, useless life on the line for him.

Daniel and Lexie look for other donors but come up empty.

Shawn wonders why Chelsea isn't answering. Kate searches and finally hears Chelsea's phone. If that phone hadn't been ringing, Kate would have gotten dizzy walking around the bench for the rest of the afternoon. She tries to wake Chelsea and answers the phone. She tells Shawn she found Chelsea passed out in the park. Shawn hangs up and Roy and Dale head for the park. On the way, Shawn calls Daniel and tells him they found Chelsea. Daniel tells Lexie what's up, and heads for Dry Gulch.

Kate cradles Chelsea and speaks from experience, "When you wake up you will be very sorry you did this."

Lexie tells Patch and Kayla they found Chelsea, and also that she is plastered. She tells them Chelsea is plastered, too, "They can't do the surgery with alcohol in her system."

"Why not," asks Kayla, "We'll probably kill them both anyway."

Bo wonders why Chelsea isn't there. "There is something we have to tell you," says Hope, "It's about Chelsea. They can't seem to find her."

"Maybe that's God's way of saying she shouldn't do this," says Bo.

Shawn and Belle try to wake Chelsea. Kate says they are being too tough on her. Shawn drops the big bomb and tells Kate they are reacting this way because Chelsea is the donor.

Sir Daniel rides up on his white horse. He dismounts, scoops up the unconscious brat and carries her off to the hospital.


Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.

23 Comments:

Blogger Michelle said...

Great Prevuisms today:
"That was very poignant and sensitive," says Hope, "You've really mellowed since you were here earlier."

"I know," says Patch, "I just got laid."

(TMI! TMI!)

Victor would gladly give his life for his son. Caroline says she knows all of Bo's fathers would do that. (snicker)

Get your zappers out, folks.(thanks for the warning but the zapper has just become a normal part of watching DrOOL.)

Thanks for the laughs!

5:19 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

"Things aren't real until they happen, and right now Bo is still alive and fighting. You can hold on to that."

"That was very poignant and sensitive," says Hope, "You've really mellowed since you were here earlier."

"I know," says Patch, "I just got laid."


Once again, Prevuze can be counted on to inject some energy into this tripe.

"Kimberly is being tested in LA. It's too bad Bo needs a pancreas instead of all the spare skin they removed from her last plastic surgery."

Another on target hit for Prevuze!!!!

More Hope. More maudlinicity. Bo rattles.

Bravo!!! A new word for the Prevuze lexicon!!!

"What if I drank myshelf to death," says the sot, "I could shave countelssh lives."

“Give her another drink!” yell all the DOOL viewers in unison. “We are dying of boredom!!!”

Daniel asks, "And if they're not? I can't believe this. The donor is missing and Bo's life is on the line. The only excuse the donor has for disappearing is alien abduction."

Dr. Dan must have been watching DOOL before coming to Salem. Obviously, he knows alien abduction is a distinct possibility in this city by the lake, ocean, mountains, corn fields, desert, etc.

Sir Daniel rides up on his white horse. He dismounts, scoops up the unconscious brat and carries her off to the hospital.

Thank goodness. Now, just perform the surgery as fast a possible so we can move on to more exciting things like Steve and Ava…as if!!!!!!!!!!! How stupid is that story line! Don’t worry. That was a rhetorical question. As a result of Ava’s actions, a plane crashed and three people died. Instead of the Feds looking into this, we have Steve defending his family with body guards. What the bleep is that all about? That would be another rhetorical question. Where are all the DiMera men? Are they in the witness protection program? I’m not talking about Jawn either.

Another excellent Prevuze to counterbalance another dull DOOL.

5:30 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"I know," says Patch, "I just got laid."

POV A: (TMI! TMI!)

POV B: Once again, Prevuze can be counted on to inject some energy into this tripe.


Prevuze appeals to a diverse audience.

5:39 AM  
Blogger Waterlilly said...

I rotflol'd all my way to the end. Especially the censored link, right on the money!

6:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Question - is it just poor casting that Roman is not involved in all this since he's Bo's brother.

7:15 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Re the censored link -- I just have to know ... Is Prevuze speaking from experience? ;-D

8:07 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Re the censored link -- I just have to know ... Is Prevuze speaking from experience? ;-D


________________________________
|_______________________________|
<-------------------- 10' -------------------->

What you see depicted above is the ten foot pole with which I would not touch that question.

And, please, no comparisons between the ten foot pole and the subject of the censored link.

8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MAJOR SPIT TAKE!!! After reading the ten-foot-pole comment, I had to get to the boss' computer so I could actually view the censored link. Good think I wasn't drinking anything or I would be found out - it would be all over the boss' computer!

9:13 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

She (Caroline) wonders if Phillip might be a match. Victor says he is being tested, "Losing another body part wouldn't be a big deal for him."

Was that supposed to be a Prevuizm? Or did Victor actually say that????

Yesterday someone posted they miss the scab writers! OMG so do I.

I remember complaining they were moving the SL along too quickly, but this 2 weeks = 1 day stuff is just mind numbing!!!!

There is no way they would do any kind of transplant procedure on Chelsea. She's under weight, and has been drinking. She is in no condition to consent, much less to undergo major surgery.

And the DOOL snoozefest continues.
I have to admit again, I don't bother to watch the actual show any more. I might once they bring Ejami back, hope hope hope....

Anyway, new blog post...check it out: These Are The Daze Of Our Lives

9:13 AM  
Anonymous veiwersince'77 said...

While I usually just lurk around reading Prevuze, I occasionally feel the need to comment.
Thanks to Prevuze I no longer need to waste an hour of my life actually watching the show.
I love the updates and the 'breath of life' that Prevuze interjects in to what would otherwise be pure drivel.
Today, Prevuze, you outdid yourself. I loved the vocabulary you used (pontificate) and 'Prevuzisms' you added. (Hyperhopemania) HAAA!!!
You do a great job with this and like everyone else, I look forward every morning to hitting your site to read what brilliant and enlightening things you have to say.
Kudos to Prevuze!!!
P.S. I really like the new Jawn...he's slimy...

9:24 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Prevuze said,
"And, please, no comparisons between the ten foot pole and the subject of the censored link."

Funny, when I saw the depiction of the 10-foot pole, that's the first thing that popped into my head!!!!

9:27 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"Losing another body part wouldn't be a big deal for him."

Was that supposed to be a Prevuizm? Or did Victor actually say that????


That was a Prevzism. Once again I must reminisce about the good old days when there were no italics in Prevuze. Things were so much more fun back then.

9:37 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

I loved the vocabulary you used (pontificate) and 'Prevuzisms' you added. (Hyperhopemania) HAAA!!!

Sometimes (pontificate) the English Language is sufficient. Other times, (Hyperhopemania) we feel the need to improve it.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"And, please, no comparisons between the ten foot pole and the subject of the censored link."

Funny, when I saw the depiction of the 10-foot pole, that's the first thing that popped into my head!!!!


You sound like you're Elliott Spitzer's kind of girl.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Holy smokes!!! Prevuze is on an Olympic caliber roll today!!!

I agree with you Deb. Where is Ejami? At least, they could bring on some Tony/Anna just to humor us. The only other storyline that appears to be interesting is Victor and Phillip going toe to toe with Jawn over the shipping. With his new found law degree, I’m thinking EJ could end up working for Mickey’s law firm. EJ working for a Horton…hmmm.

10:32 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Prevuze said,
"You sound like you're Elliott Spitzer's kind of girl."

Woo-hoo!!! I finally made the big time!! Move over Monica Lewinsky, Gennifer Flowers, Donna Rice and Fanne Foxe -- here I come!!

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

About the 15th time yesterday that Hope flung herself all over Bo I realized well, dummy! ZAP!!! So here's my official proclaimation to never sit thru another maudlin Ho and Dope or Payla pawing each other scene again.

LOL over the censored link and them having to de-slobber after Hope. Great Prevuze, I'm glad I finally got time to read it today!!

10:56 AM  
Anonymous Scolly said...

I thought at first it was because my coffee hadn't kicked in. But I still don't get the last picture with Lexie.

Can Prevuze explain it for my feeble mind? Otherwise it was a great Prevuze today!!

10:59 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Can Prevuze explain it for my feeble mind? Otherwise it was a great Prevuze today!!

Uh, she's looking into the microscope for the donor?

Sometimes you hit a home run, sometimes you foul out.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

I was very, very VERY late getting to Prevuze today too. But what an adrenalin rush it's given to my afternoon. I don't have time to give credit to all the great stuff in the report (and comments) today.

The prevuisms were golden. Most have already been mentioned. Here are a few more:

"Why did you bring me here," asks Shawn. "We want to tell everyone we found the donor," says Kayla, "It's dangerous to talk in the hallway the way Hope has the floors all slobbered up." [None of the docs could go out to tell the entire family??]

They can't do the surgery with alcohol in her system. "Why not," asks Kayla, "We'll probably kill them both anyway." We can only wish.

And I grooved on this salute to DOOL's golden past: If any more people join the throng, they'll have to move Bo into the Bob Anderson Memorial Auditorium.

Overall -
Prevuze: fantastic!
Actual episode: unbelievable bunch of time-wasting crud!

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did I miss something?? I thought that Victor was going to be the donor, hence all this crap to show that he is infact, Bo's father.

Otherwise, whathehell? We already knew chelsea was related.
What a big freakin waste otherwise!

(Okay, I will jump off my 'soapbox' now)

12:43 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Did I miss something?? I thought that Victor was going to be the donor

They made two feeble attempts in today's feed (tomorrow's show) to explain this. First, Victor himself said he wanted to be the donor but couldn't because of his "age and heart condition." Second, at one point Lexie (I think) announced there were other matches, but not quite as good as Chelsea, but the other matches couldn't be donors because of health reasons. HTH.

12:56 PM  
Anonymous sue said...

A H U G E Thank you for the Censored photo!! Better than Days has been the last two or more weeks :)

Prevuze has seriously helped prepare me for watching the show - and has been much better than the show. I'm edging toward Steve and Chelsea -- getting drunk and laid just to watch this disaster of a show ;)

4:27 PM  

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