SCANDAL!

A sharp-eyed reader yesterday accused Prevuze of altering and reprinting a previously printed picture. The picture in question was an altered form of the painting, "Spirit of '76" by Archibald Willard, which features a fife and drum trio and in which the fife player wears a head bandage. In the published picture, the irrevrent Prevuze replaced the head of the fife player with the bandaged head of Nick Fallon.

Unavailable for comment, Prevuze released the following statement: "Prevuze denies any knowledge of reproducing previously published materials. These accusations are completely false, and we look forward to proving our innocence. We are grateful for our loyal fans who contnue to steadfastly support us.

Longtime Prevuze fan Bertha Shlabotnik of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, upon hearing of the controversy, had this to say, "I can assure you all fans will stand behind Prevuze – way behind."

Meanwhile, Willard, who had just returned from the dead to tape an episode of DOOL disparaged the act, "It is reprehensible that anyone would in any way alter or deface such an historic piece of fine art, let alone do it twice."

In a late development, however, an anonymous source produced a second copy of the painting with Patrick Lockhart's bandaged head replacing the fife player. This picture appeared in the Prevuze posting of December 4, 2006. Given this shocking revelation, Prevuze remained unavailable for comment. However, Prevuze' legal counsel, M. Horton of Horton, Horton, Horton, Horton, and Horton, continued to deny all accusations. He did, however, indicate that if any of these accusations were true, Prevuze would immediately sue itself.

Despite this appalling scandal, we hope you all can manage to have a great weekend.