Friday, June 29, 2007

Butt Paste

Belle stands in her little corner of oblivion as Shawn and Phillip discuss living arrangements. Shawn wants to move out, but Phillip wants to hear what Belle has to say. Belle comes over to their table carrying Claire. She babbles. So does Claire. Suddenly, Belle picks up on the fact that something is wrong. She can tell because the guys are pouty and brooding and if anyone knows pouty and brooding, it's Belle, "OK, guys... spill it."

Shawn tips his water glass over. Phillip looks up at Belle and says, "Shawn wants to move out of my place and into his parents' house."

Belle stomps and holds her breath. Claire pulls out her three-ring binder and takes notes on how to throw a real fit. "Absolutely not," says Belle.

Hope has heard Roman's confession about sleeping with Anna. She elbows right in front of Bo and asks Roman, "You... ahem... slept with Anna last night?" Bo suggests this isn't something she should ask about. "What," pries Hope, "I'm not prying. Am I prying?" Bo hands her a crowbar to help things along. Hope just thinks it's sooooo romantic that they can put their differences aside and get together after so many years.

"You're not gonna let this go, are you, Hope," asks Roman. He wasted his breath with that question. "Look," says Roman, "I don't want to stomp on your imagination but that's not exactly how it went down... OK, bad choice of words." Bo and Hope stifle their laughter. Roman turns 30 shades of read as Hope urges him on. Roman continues, "All right, I'll keep this short. One minute we're at each other's throats, the next minute... we're somewhere else." Hope just can't reel in the details fast enough. She asks how things were between them this morning. Roman tells her he doesn't know because he left the hotel before she woke up this morning.

Bo looks the word 'cad' up in the dictionary and sees Roman's picture. Hope is beyond disbelief. Roman explains he had some errands to run; he wanted to make sure the car got washed before it got too crowded. Hope explodes, "You couldn't face Anna so you decided to have the car washed? What is this, high school?" We'll assume that was a rhetorical question.

"She's got a point there, bro," says Bo, "This wasn't exactly your smoothest move." Roman knows that, but he says he doesn't need a lecture from his kid brother. Hope insists Roman owes Anna an explanation.

"There's only one thing wrong with that," says Roman, "I have no idea what the hell I'm gonna say to her."

Bo suggests, "You could start with 'Wham-Bam thank you ma'am.'"

Sami and Lucas slobber all over each other. Sami the tease is back with us today, "Lucas, we can't do this!"

EJ brings Stefano the great news that he is the father of Sami's baby. He interrupts Stefano's ecstasy to tell him Sami is having twins. Stefano asks how Sami took the news. EJ tells him he doesn't know, because Sami is locked away in a safe house. Stefano tells EJ he should have Roman followed because it is imperative that the twins be born as DiMeras and raised as DiMeras.

Belle asks, "Move in with your parents? Why am I hearing this from Phillip?"

"Because Phillip is a flaming jerk," says Shawn. He asks for a few minutes alone with Belle. Belle fakes to Shawn, and hands Claire off to Phillip. She sits down. Bicker, argue, argue, bicker. Shawn tells Belle if they are going to be a family, they can't have Phillip hanging around.

"You're absolutely right," says Belle.

The Roman inquisition continues. Hope tells him he's got to go back and see Anna. She sits down and lectures, "Take some advice from a woman's perspective. You never, EVER sleep with a woman and then get up and leave in the morning before she wakes up. USER YOUR HEAD!"

Bo is enjoying this, "Yeah, Roman, use your head."

"You're not helping," screams Roman, "You're not helping at all. It may not look that way now, but I am not an insensitive guy. I am well tuned in to the opposite sex."

"Yeah," says Bo, "You should have your own talk show."

"I hope you're getting a big kick out of this," says Roman. They are. Hope changes her tune. She asks what they can do to help. Roman says she can help him with what to say to Anna. Hope asks how he feels about her. Roman says he hasn't thought about her in a while. Roman claims he doesn't know.

Hope falls apart laughing, "You know! You just don't want to admit it!"

Sami says they can't continue because Dr. Jacobs says she has to be on a strict exercise regimen. Lucas thinks she should give her body a break. Sami tells him she skipped yesterday and she knows herself. If she doesn't keep it up she will gain 70 pounds. Lucas pulls out all the stops, "Maybe you need to gain a little weight." Even Sami doesn't buy that one. She hauls out her special pregnancy yoga DVD. Lucas yanks it from her and says he wants to look it over.

EJ says Sami will not let the kids be raised as DiMeras without something in return, "We need to end this war with the Bradys." Stefano reminds him he already made an offer. EJ, in turn, reminds Stefano Sami has already turned down his offer.

Tony interrupts, "Oh, for God's sake, EJ, be a man. Do you control the situation or does Samantha?"

Hope asks if Roman feels something for Anna, "Do you feel sparks." Roman says that's not quite it. Hope asks if he feels guilty about what happened last night. Roman says he does. Hope asks, "Where do you think this guilt is coming form?"

"OK," says Bo, "Stop with the Dr. Phil."

Hope ignores that, "Do you feel guilty because you gave into temptation and that's why you're trying to pull out of this?"

Bo jumps in, "If he felt anything for her he'd be over at the hotel." The discussion between Hope and Roman now turns into an argument between Bo and Hope.

Bo_FaceRoman breaks them up, "Both of you are right. Anna drives me crazy. You could anchor a boat with that ego of hers. But on the other hand... she drives me crazy... if you know what I mean. Hope smiles. Bo makes a face.

Belle agrees to moving out of Phillip's house, but not in with Bo and Hope. Shawn reminds her, "Our bank account is zero."

"I think we can double that in no time," says Belle. Shawn tells her Bo has agreed to loan them some money. Belle vetoes it. she takes his hand, "Shawn, we're a team."

"So were the 1962 Mets," says Shawn, "And they were about as good at baseball as you are at calculus."

Sami grabs for the DVD and tells Lucas she's not in the mood. He reminds her she was in the mood a few minutes ago and thinks her change of heart is because of EJ. World War III erupts. The guard knocks and asks if everything is OK. Lucas promises to keep it down. Sami says that's the problem, "There is no privacy."

Lucas gets the idea, they have to be celibate the whole time they are there, "That's torture." He moves in. Sami uses the opportunity to grab the DVD, "Torture? You ain't seen nothin' yet."

Tony tells Stefano lovesick EJ is willing to compromise generations of DiMera history for a woman. Isn't that what Santo did? Stefano tells Tony Sami is having twins. Tony tells EJ for once in his life to take charge, "Just don't stand around like some pitiful eunuch."

Stefano breaks them up, "I don't want my sons at each other's throats all the time."

Shawn and Belle vow to work things out and go back over the old "Claire thinks Phillip is her dad" thing again. "Claire is confused," says Shawn.

Belle smiles, "Like mother, like daughter."

"I think Claire needs to start waking up and seeing the same faces every day," says Shawn.

"I agree," says Belle, "Phillip's changes so much that will never happen at his place."

Hope thinks it's obvious Roman is interested in Anna. Roman doesn't want that getting around at the station. Hope says it's nothing to be ashamed of. "Look," says Roman, "I'm a single guy, I've been working my butt off, no time for a personal life, a beautiful woman comes to town... hard to say no."

Hope thinks there is more to it than that, "I think she makes you feel young again."

Bo reacts, "OUCH!"

Hope takes her foot out of her mouth and backpedals, "I meant she makes you feel special." Roman admits she did. The doorbell rings. There are a million people in Salem. Roman prays it's one of the 999,999 people who are not Anna. Hope answers the door. Roman's prayers are not answered.

Anna comes in and sees Roman, "Well, look who's here. And all this time I thought you were in the hotel restaurant buying me breakfast in bed."

Bo's sworn obligation to the 'guy-code' requires him to stick up for his brother, "Roman has a tendency to disappear every now and then. It's one of his shortcomings. I'd go through the whole list, but the show only lasts an hour."

Anna figures the story of their night has gotten around the Hobo house and hopes they have told Roman what a jackass he is. Roman apologizes and lies through his toothless mouth. He says something came up at work. Anna thinks he should have left a note or woke her up. Hope suggests they need some privacy. "NO," says Anna, "I'd rather humiliate him in front of a crowd."

Roman says, "You're not gonna let go of this, are you?"

"We could go back to my hotel room and start this day over," says Anna.

"What are you trying to say," asks Clueless.

"Follow me out of here and I'll show you." Roman does as he's told.

Alone at last, hope tells Bo he's going to have his hands full for the next six months. Bo asks, "What are you talking about?"

"OUR BET," says Hope, "You're on dirty diaper duty until Christmas." Bo makes that face again.

Shawn gets a call from Ohio. He goes off to talk. Phillip comes back to the table. Belle tells him she talked him out of moving in with Bo and Hope. She doesn't know where they will go, but if the phone call is about the job, she thinks they can afford a place of their own.

Sami does her yoga exercises. Body parts fall and flop. Lucas can't take it. He decides to read the Bible. Sami keeps it up. Lucas becomes a coach. He tells Sami she's doing it wrong, "The lady on the DVD looks more flexible than you."


"Now who's tortured," asks Lucas.

"I am," says Sami, "I'm alone with an idiot."

EJ insists the war with the Bradys has to stop. "It seems to me," says Tony, "You're in bed with the entire Brady clan, not just Samantha." Stefano has a spell and collapses. EJ runs out and comes back with Rolf.

Shawn comes back to the table and announces some company in Cleveland just called out of the blue and wants to interview him for a job. He figures they got his name through Max. The company wants him to interview tomorrow at its big Fourth of July picnic. Shawn decides to call the guy back and ask if Belle can come, too.

Bo wanders around the kitchen and remembers making the bet with Hope. She walks in and Bo tries to wiggle out of it. He insists Roman doesn't love Anna. Hope says she didn't say anything about love, "I said he was crazy about her. Don't forget the butt paste... I don't want Ciara to get a terrible rash."

Bo grabs her magazine and wads it up, "You think you're smarter than me don't you?"

"I think that crumpled wad of paper is smarter than you," says Hope, "I just think I'm more in tune with people's feelings. But you're a guy. You can't help it."

Bo makes that face again, "OK, smarty pants, what am I feeling now?"

The vamp moves in. She strokes his hair. She kisses him, "I guess I'd say... excited." More kisses, "To be changing lots of dirty diapers."

Sami yogas. Lucas coaches. He tells her she isn't doing it right. "Yeah," snorts Sami, "You try it!"

"Real men don't do yoga." She throws a bottle at him and hurts her shoulder. The predictable shoulder rub ensues. Other predictable things happen...

Rolf reports Stefano's condition is worsening. He needs the stem cells. As Rolf goes to wheel Stefano in, Tony and EJ argue about who's fault it is. EJ levels with Stefano. He tells him they need the stem cells and he wants him to make a deal with Sami. Stefano agrees, "Get Samantha." EJ tells him he made the right decision and leaves.

Tony asks what that was all about. Stefano says, "I'm afraid you were right about Elvis all along."

Hope thinks Bo is a sore loser. Bo thinks Hope is a cheater. Hope knows how to get Bo to fess up. She plays her trump card. Bo caves in. Bo is weaker than Roman in a hotel room with Anna. He caves in. They talk about the Fourth of July party and decide Shawn and Belle need a break.

Phillip thinks taking Belle to the corporate party would be a bad idea. He says they are having Shawn there to see how he interacts with people and Belle would be a distraction. Shawn decides he has to go and get ready for his big trip, "When I get back we can start moving out."

Generations of Hortons and Bradys will be together at tomorrow's Independence Day bash. Bo will get Greco to take a picture of it. "Greco," gasps Hope, "You mean the guy who takes pictures of corpses?"

"Crime scenes," corrects Bo. He goes to call Greco, but a crying baby interrupts. And Shawn isn't even there. Bo tries to wiggle out of diaper duty, but Hope tells him five minutes won't make any difference.

Bo heads up. Hope says, "And don't forget the..."

"I know," says Bo, "Butt paste."

A dead horse named Wegottamoveout lies on the floor. Shawn and Belle beat the poor thing. Belle's phone rings and she looks at the text message, "I know what this is. I have a play date with Katie and Claire. I hope they've selected a game I can understand this time." Belle leaves.

Phillip sneers, "Well you got your way." Shawn assures him it was a mutual decision and was nothing personal." Shawn walks off and Phillip grumbles, "Yeah, right."

EJ stands outside the room and listens as Tony and Stefano discuss his situation with Sami. Stefano thinks EJ is emotionally involved and that is clouding his judgment, He needs to learn a few lessons. How would you like to teach him his first one?" Tony would love that. Stefano says the DiMeras bow to no one and he will not beg for the stem cells, "We must connect with Samantha. I don't care how you do it, just make sure you bring her to me."

Tony says, "Done father." He leaves to do his duty. EJ stares.

Sami and Lucas romp. Sami pulls up short. She's concerned the cops outside can hear the slurping. Lucas gets an idea. He turns the DVD back on and cranks up the volume. The gymnastics continue. He flips Sami over onto the TV remote and bloody murder breaks loose on the TV. Scream, scream, scream. Hear the TV scream. The cops rush in, guns drawn. FF Sami and Lucas in total shock.


Bo says to Shawn, "I know panic when I hear it in somebody's voice. What's up with you?"

Phillip says, "You're not helping him, Bo." Bo sneers, "Neither are you."

Jett asks Nick, "Have you ever felt like the woman you are crazy about just doesn't feel the same way about you?"

Jerkemy grabs Stephanie, "Can I have that kiss now?" Patch pats him on the shoulder. Jerko asks, "Can't you see I'm busy?" Patch says, "I think it's time you and me had a little talk."


Blogger Deb said...

A day without the 90210 crowd is like a day .....that's bright and sunny and happy!!!!!

What is with the DOOL writers????
Did they all become possessed by Alan Alda and Dr.Phil? Why are all the Salem men suddenly turning into "whipped" pansies?
First Nick (well okay he didn't have far to go) but now Pard, and Bo, and Both Phillip and Shawn (again not like Shawn had much potential).
Are the Dimera's spiking the town water supply with estrogen???

I find myself rooting for the Dimeras because they seem to be the only REAL men on the show anymore!!!


10:03 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

Prevuze, I think you missed one --

Roman said, "All right, I'll keep this short. (Probably just what he said last night!) One minute we're at each other's throats, the next minute... we're somewhere else. (And you can be sure it wasn't one of those hours-long DOOL minutes!)"

And YEAH!! to Deb -- SHANE! BRING BACK SHANE! At least he looked and acted like he could be an international spy! Although I heard he's doing the musical CHICAGO somewhere, so timing could be an issue ...

10:15 AM  
Blogger cfish said...

OOPS! Sorry, Charles Shaughnessy (ex-Shane) is doing "Urinetown" on Broadway -- so he's in New York and DOOL is in LA. Bummer.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

"She's got a point there, bro," says Bo, "This wasn't exactly your smoothest move EXLAX."

10:59 AM  
Anonymous Bulldog said...

Can't you just see Sami getting kidnapped at the big picnic. (Which also means the "4th" will probably last about three weeks.

Maybe Jerkemy will actually show up. It'll be the first time they've shown him with any of the Hortons.

That poor Wegottamoveout fella! He's in the same boat as his brother over at Lumi's - you know -Whycan'twehavesex.

Excellent Friday Prevuze, well worth the wait!! :D

11:00 AM  
Blogger Brendamouse said...

So where are Shelle going to live? Belle's fantasy castle in the sky? The dude doesn't even have a job yet. I'm sure she can get some money from Squints or live with them (barring the icky open mouth kissing). Has Belle done anything besides whine and mooch?

And Roman, dear, clueless Roman. When is the last time a man that age rushed over to his brother's house to spill about a one night stand and act as it was a life altering event. Grow up!! Get out of the lockerroom. Discretion.

Sami the tease indeed. It would make me wonder if my "love" kept putting on the brakes when things got a little heated. Quit beating the I'll be the Daddy/No I won't theme. Is Lucas bipolar too?

I'm a little confused. Are there two different Fourth of July picnics?

How is Tony going to connect with Sami? An island/castle full of Bradys, I'm telling ya. Let's clear up the Colleen/Santo thing. I'm afraid the end won't justify all the mystery surrounding the story.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

And Roman, dear, clueless Roman. When is the last time a man that age rushed over to his brother's house to spill about a one night stand and act as it was a life altering event. Grow up!! Get out of the lockerroom. Discretion.

Dis cretin has no discretion.

11:52 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

I was good to go just on the title of today's episode...Butt Paste. ROFLMA (Well, perhaps "good to go" wasn't the best choice of words there.)

LOL at Shawn's wrecking crew job and Abe's tally of Sami's whining. Pretty soon the caption can just be changed to Sami whining that EJ IS the father of the babies.

I had the same reaction to Pard's juvenile actions. But that could provide a clue as to why Nicole left town without showing her face after she spent the night with Roman. He spazed out and she was too embarrassed to show her face so she split.

Butt Paste....just can't get over that one. The things that ran throught my mind!.....HAHAHAHAHA

11:55 AM  
Anonymous KOTU said...

Bo suggests, "You could start with 'Wham-Bam thank you ma'am.'" LOVED IT!

A dead horse named Wegottamoveout lies on the floor. Shawn and Belle beat the poor thing. At least the pitiful dead horses are getting names now. LOL at Bulldog's ,Whycan'twehavesex pony too.

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I think we can double that in no time" - you guys were inspired today. Great Prevuze.

12:59 PM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Is butt paste supposed to be Desitin or plumber's calk?

1:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

down here in New Orleans, one of the best things for diaper rash made somewhere in state, is Boudreaux's ButtPaste. Maybe Bope's courrier flew some in when the flew in Antoine's oysters! Prevuze peoples, Y'ALL ROCK!!!

1:40 PM  
Anonymous carol101 said...

Butt Paste is great stuff works very well on baby bottom. I thought Roman was funny , the poor guy can't solve a crime with both hands, at least he finally got some. Unlike the rest of Salem. Heard through the grapevine that Abe had open heart. Thats why he hasnt been on. But Salem has more resurrections than the bible. Can anyone count them Marlena, poss.2 John, Roman, Jack poss2, Tony, Stefeno, Lexie, Steve. Some of this stuff is too bazaar for words. Great that there were not kids in this episode. Enjoy the weekend

2:47 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Has anyone else noticed whenever someone hands Claire to Belle she starts crying?
I was watching today's episode on my DVR and in the pub when Shawn started to hand her over the baby acted like she didn't want to go.

Wondering if maybe she doesn't like the actress? Or the baby is such a great actress she's reacting like the real Claire would!! LMAO.

BTW Bordeaux's Butt Past is EXCELLENT stuff!! We use it on our tattoos when we first get them.
They ease the pain and keep them moisturized while they heal.

And its nationwide btw, I get it right here in Roman's hometown of Chillicothe, IL.

3:07 PM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

Indeed I have Deb, and commented on it often. I've read interviews where Martha Madison says that one of the twins likes her and the other doesn't. But I sure haven't seen a scene where Claire has EVER appeared to like Belle.

Both twins seem to love the guys. When the babies were younger they would just squirm and fuss when Belle held them. Call out for "Mommy" and hold their arms out to someone off screen.

It's just as they have gotten older it's more obvious, like today's show when the perfectly happy child in Shawn's arms practically threw herself out of them at the prospect of Belle taking her. Martha has to be getting SUCH a complex. HAHAHAHA

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will Sami and Lucas be at the 4th of July picnic? wonder how their caught in the act debut is going to finish off

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, let's take this one at a time:

Phillip explains to Belle that "Shawn wants to move out of MY place and into his parents place." Hellllooo, Phillip - your place is YOUR father's house.... YOU DO NOT HAVE A PLACE EITHER!

Shawn actually admits his daddy is willing to LOAN them some money? Why doesn't this KID grow up? I can't stand the way he thinks it's ok to raise his family on 'borrow & payback'... (Get a job, you bum!!! Again, I couldn't resist!)

Next, I really don't think Roman would be telling his sister in law his sexual encounters... Pleeez!

Hope tells Roman: "I think she makes you feel young again"???? WOW, that was a put down!

The line about the dead horse was OUTSTANDING!

And finally, in the preview, what could Jerkemy and Steve possibly have to talk about?

Great Prevuze (as usual)!

9:21 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Will Sami and Lucas be at the 4th of July picnic?

Sami and Lucas will not be at the 4th of July picnic. Nor will Roman and Anna. Apparently Roman doesn't bolt this time. Either that or Anna borrowed the old cage trick from Jan Spears...

5:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will Sami, Lucas, EJ, Tony, or Stefano be on this week, aside this episode, before the tennis break? I don't think so.

5:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"a dead horse named wegottamoveout...." Thank you for starting my day off laughing... :-) too funny!!!

11:52 AM  
Anonymous sue said...

Thanks! The pics were great and Butt Paste -- well that sounds like the highlight of the show!

I thought the show was getting better but seems slurp, slurp is what we get - ug :(

At least a little DiMera's and Roman being a donkey's behind sound good (in between the slurping).

9:32 PM  

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