Are You Horizontally Busy Tonight?
The brat and the snot gross us all out by discussing their love lives. Apparently the boyfriends of our favorite pair of stewardi are touching more than the sky. The brat thinks Jett had no right to insult Nick. Stephanie reminds her 5 minutes ago she was ready to kick Nick to the curb, "Chelsea, I thought you figured out that you're not in love with Nick, so give poor Nicky a break and let him down gently."
Billie stands in the pub and talks business with some guy as Nick walks in. He asks to talk to her. Billie thanks the businessman and he leaves. Nick says, "I don't know how to say this."
"Just breathe and spit it out," says the older but wiser girl.
Nick blurts, "Your mom is blackmailing me."
Patch wiggles around the room and asks Bart to join him in the dance of the seven veils or whatever it is he thinks he is doing. Tony walks in and wonders if Patch is well. He tells Bart Anna will be there any minute. Bart leaves and Patch tells Tony he is killing his buzz as he dances around like a crazed pinball. Tony says he is expecting company. "What do you want me to do," asks Patch.
"Double your medication and disappear," suggests Tony.
Patch says he knows who's coming, "Good luck... She's PURDY!"
Stefano walks in as Patch rumbas out the door. Stefano tells Tony he won't be joining him and Anna for dinner, but he cautions him, "Anna is not to be trusted."
Hope rushes into her house. She tells Bo Doodlebug is with Jugs and Doolie. Bo goes to work wiring Hope up.
Anna and Roman pull up in front of Bo and Hope's house. We can hear them arguing from the inside. "It's the same old stuff," yells Roman.
"I don't know why I came back here," screams Anna. Bo and hope soak it in through the window.
The brat doesn't know how she feels about all this. The snot talks about how Jealous Nick is. Jett interrupts this stimulating load of nonsense masquerading as a conversation, and asks for a soft drink. Stephanie leaves him and Chelsea alone. Chelsea is distant. She starts to leave. Jett asks for her to hear him out so he can apologize.
Billie says Nick should go to Kate's house and tell her to get lost. Nick doesn't think it would be quite that easy. Billie asks, "What could my mother possibly have on you? OMG! You didn't go for the three-generation triple whammy, did you? " Nick says, "No, but it's Something bad. And it involves Chelsea."
Bo and Hope break up the argument between Roman and Anna. At least, they make the valiant attempt to do so. Anna is nervous. She tells Hope she will be glad when the evening is over. Bo goes over the plans. He turns to Roman, "You're gonna drop Anna off?"
"From any roof in Salem," says Roman. Bo goes over the plans for the evening. The fearless foursome heads out. Hope gives Bo a look.
Stefano never has understood Tony's attraction to Anna, "But to each his own." He asks Tony to find out what Anna discussed at the Brady's. He will feel better when he finds out what Anna is up to. He asks if Steve is in the house. Tony says he got rid of him. Stefano tells Tony to keep an eye on Patch, sends his regards to Anna and leaves.
"Rest well," says Tony.
"Impossible," snorts Stefano.
Once Stefano is out of earshot, Tony says, "Oh father, anything is possible." Patch watches from outside the window.
Billie and Nick sit at a table in the pub and Nick tells Billie about the hairbrush caper and Kate's threat, "Some moron told her everything and now she says she will turn me in if I don't cooperate."
Billie gets that look Lucy always got when Ricky caught her up to something, "Any idea who the moron is?"
"You're looking at her."
Jett tries to apologize, "How could Nick be a loser? He's got you." That must be a trick question.
Stephanie works the passengers. She lands at Max' seat and thanks him for sticking up for her. Max lectures, "Jeremy has a problem and so do you if you keep putting up with him."
Tony brings Anna in. Bart is enchanted, "Anna DiMera! You're even more beautiful than you are in your pictures." He turns to Tony, "May I?"
Tony gives the OK. Bart embraces the lovely Anna and gives her a little peck. He backs off, looks her in the eyes and then dives in for more. Tony has to break them up. Bart apologizes and leaves.
Anna tries to recover, "What a strange little man."
Tony gives a nervous laugh, "He takes getting used to." Anna says she is excited to be there. Bart brings wine. Anna just wants a little sip. Tony tells her he has flown in consommé from New York, oysters from Antoine's in New Orleans and, of course, chowdah from the Brady pub. Anna remembers Tony always does things first class.
"Carpe diem," says Tony.
"Does carp go with oysters and consommé," asks Anna. She compares Tony's spread to the lunch Roman bought for her, "It was a Texas hot wiener from some place called the Cheatin' Heart."
"Roman always did have poor taste," says Tony.
Bo finishes working on Hope's wire and asks her to say something for a sound check. Hope asks, "Are you horizontally busy tonight?"
"Could you say that again," asks Bo, "I can't hear that enough." Hope wonders how long it will take Anna to distract Tony so she can go in. Bo says, "If he reacts to Anna the way Roman does, any second he'll come running out that door screaming for someone to put him out of his misery."
Hope says, "Aw, come on, She's not that bad."
Bo says, "Are you kidding? She drives Roman crazy."
Hope says, "Are you kidding me? He's crazy about her."
Chelsea asks, "Did you just say you respect Nick because he has nerve, brains and me?" Jett thinks that must be the first time brains and her have ever been used in the same sentence, but he is sorry he put Nick down. He'd like to patch things up. His fiancée Danielle is coming to town and he suggests they all go out – on him.
Max says, "I'm sure Jeremy is a real sweetheart – when he's asleep. I think he's a bully. Someone has to set bullies straight."
Stephanie asks, "Would that be you?"
"The next time he starts running his mouth," says Max, "I'm gonna put my fist in it."
Nick can't believe Billie yapped to Kate. Well, she is Lucas' sister. Loose lips must be genetic. Billie thought she could tell Kate because Roman and her are close and Kate wouldn't want to get Roman in trouble. She asks Nick to give her a chance to talk to Kate. Nick thinks he could go to jail. Billie pulls out her cell phone to give Kate a call. "Hang up that phone," says Nick.
Bo thinks Roman was about ready to strangle Anna earlier. Hope thinks Roman is ready to do something, but it doesn’t involve strangling her. She thinks Roman is putting up a front and trying to hide his feelings. Bo bets Hope is wrong. Hope tells him, "If you are right you are in complete charge of our evenings for a month."
Bo gasps, "You mean..."
"Don't push it Brady," snorts Hope, "If you lose, you change diapers, do laundry..."
Bo whimpers, "Diapers? Shawn isn't even home."
Hope goes in. Bo radios to her, "Get back here in one piece."
Tony and Anna do the vertical tango. They dance around each other in more ways than one. He asks about the letters. She takes them out of her purse and gives them to him. She says she doesn't read Italian, but she thought she saw Santo's name in them. Tony is grateful for her returning them. Tony says he has a question before dinner. He asks why she was at the pub, "And before you say anything don't lie because I'll know. Trust me, I'll know."
Bo radios Hope for an update. She says she is in and all is fine. She found the passageway from the greenhouse. Patch surprises Bo. He asks him to tell Hope to give it five minutes. Bo jumps out of his socks, "What are you doing here?" Patch tells Bo he's hanging at the DiMeras house while Kayla is at the convention.
"That's the longest convention in the history of medicine," says Bo.
"It's actually a golf clinic," says Patch, "Every doctor in the country is there."
Bo wonders if Patch has lost his mind being there. Patch swears he's totally sane. He says he drugged the dinner wine, "...Just for fun. In a few minutes Tony and the rest of them will be out like a cheap light."
Anna struggles. Tony asks again what she was doing at the pub. She claims the Bradys are friends. Tony thinks there is more to it. He presses. "I'm dizzy," says Anna.
Tony is disgusted, "Are you trying to distract me with cheap theatrics?"
"There is nothing cheap about me," slurs Anna. She gets woozy, "YOU DRUGGED ME SO YOU CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME! YOU ANIMAL!" She passes out.
Tony calls Bart. Bart staggers in. Tony slurs, "The wine was drugged..." He passes out.
"No way was the wine drugged," insists Bart as he passes out on top of Tony and Anna.
Nick forbids Billie to call Kate. She insists she can handle Kate. She promises it will turn out OK.
Jett thinks once Nick sees him in a relationship he'll relax. They decide to go on the double date. He thanks her for the soda and leaves.
Max says he has known a dozens of Jeremys, "They all have a big mouth and nothing to back it up."
Stephanie defends her little creep, "You're totally wrong about Jeremy."
Speak of the devil, Jerkemy walks up and asks, "About what, babe. What has Max been saying about me?"
Stephanie claims Max was just kidding around, "About whether you can fly a plane."
"I heard you," says Jeremy. He presses.
Max says, "I was just telling Stephanie what a snake you are, Jer. You're the kind of guy my Texas friends say is all hat and no cattle. But Stephanie was disagreeing with me, so who do you plan on proving wrong?" They trade wisecracks. Jeremy claims Max has him all wrong. Max plans to keep watching him. Jeremy asks his gal Friday to grab him a ginger ale while he goes and makes nice with the rich boys.
Chelsea comes out and she and Max share a stare.
Kate arrives at the pub, "Nick! What a surprise!"
Billie isn't in the mood for it, "Cut the crap, Mother."
"Don't be crude," says mommie dearest.
"How about blackmail," asks Billie, "Is that crude enough?" Billie fills Kate in. She knows what she is up to. Kate says sometimes she says things she should keep to herself, but claims there was no threat implied. She tells Nick this is all in his head. Nick chuckles. Kate insists she was joking. She pulls up a chair and suggests they get something sweet to eat. Nick wonders if hemlock is sweet.
Hope radios in. Steve breaks in and tells her they are all asleep, "I sang them a lullaby." Bo tells her to yell if there is trouble, and he and Patch will be there in a flash.
Hope walks into the mansion and does a double-take when she sees the pile of humanity stacked like firewood on the couch. She takes a picture of the heap with her cell phone and then goes to work.
Kate claims innocence. She admits she hopes EJ is the father of the twins. Billie's eyes pop out when she hears the word "twins." Kate insists if she is the grandmother, she will shower them with love and affection. She thinks Nick takes things the wrong way. Billie suggests Nick should press charges for blackmail. She threatens to call Sami and Lucas. Kate could lose Lucas forever. He hasn't disowned her yet this month. That's not what Kate wants, so Billie thinks they understand each other.
Hope can't find the letters. Suddenly she looks under a cushion and finds them. She says she will be out just as soon as she photographs all of them.
Patch gives Bo a goofy smile. Bo asks, "What can I say?"
Patch thinks for a minute, "How about, 'Thanks a lot. I was wrong about you.'" He tells Bo he managed the DiMeras by acting crazy. It wasn't much of a stretch. He hopes Bo now realizes whose side he is on.
Hope radios in, "Mission accomplished. You can stop worrying now." Translation: Start worrying, Bo. Bo says he will stop worrying when she gets out of there.
The brat asks if she can get Max anything. "A new brain," he says. He tells her he wants out of the deal as soon as they land.
Jeremy and Stephanie romp in the kitchen. Jeremy asks, "Are you ready to join the mile high club?"
Stephanie asks, "Now?"
"If you want it," says Jeremy, "But you gotta get through the initiation. You gotta come up with a way to keep Max as a partner."
Kate tells Billie they understand each other. She apologizes to Nick. Billie gets up and goes to pay, leaving Kate with her opening. She morphs into Satan and tells Nick he made a big mistake.
"Sorry," says a stunned Nick.
"You're going to be," hisses Kate, "Good luck. You're going to need it." She leaves. Nick chases after her.
Billie calls, "Nick! What happened?"
Hope replaces the letters. She tells Bo she's starting back. Through his earpiece, Bo hears Stefano call for Tony and Bart.
Hope radios, "Stefano is here in the house." Bo tells her to get out, and then hears Stefano's voice in his ear, "Hope Brady! What the devil are you doing here?" Bo starts to rush in. Patch stops him.
Stefano badgers Hope, "Who let you in here?" He looks at the human rubble strewn all over the couch, "What did you do to them? What are you up to now?" FF Hope.
You, the informed Prevuze reader must be aware of the international incident created yesterday when a helicopter door fell into a crowd at an air show. The incident injured three people and sent the crowd scattering in chaos. Immediately, news teams and engineers descended on the site of the near-tragedy to attempt to determine its cause. Speculation ran wild on talk shows, news shows and a terrified world watched as the video of the event ran endlessly. Yet, with all this attention, the cause remains in doubt. OR SO THEY SAY!
Enter the crack team of Prevuze journalists, which can put two and two together faster than Nick Fallon on a Starbuck's Vente Latte. Every single news story correctly reported the event took place in Galway, Ireland. GALWAY, IRELAND, PEOPLE! DOES THAT RING A BELL?
Either the entire journalistic world gets the Belle Black Kiriakis Award For Doofism or it is covering up the fact that this was a DiMera plot! Prevuze will notify all its loyal readers when it is selected for the Pulitzer prize for uncovering this gripping revelation.
Chelsea and Jett sit in a hot tub. Chelsea says, "Nick kept freaking out that I was coming here. Why can't he just trust me, huh?" Jett smiles, "A hottie like you running wild in Vegas? I'd be worried too."
Kate threatens, "Keep up the great work Mr. Fallon, because if you don't, the lights could go out on that bright future."
Stefano says to Bart and Patch, "Trust me. If the truth is ever known, the family will never recover."