Break Out The Cigars, Baby
"The same as usual," says Shawn, "Nothing. But Claire thinks of Phillip as her dad."
Phillip asks Belle if Shawn is still sensitive about Claire running to him in Chicago. Belle admits there are times Claire still thinks of Phillip as her dad. "I never meant for that to happen," says Phillip, "I'll bet that after all that had happened to her, she was just happy to see a familiar face."
"Then why would she run to you," asks Belle. She thinks Phillip wouldn't be human if he didn't enjoy her reaction just a little. Phillip is just happy Claire is alive and back home. He hands Belle an envelope. Belle opens it and stares at Phillip. "Our final divorce papers," asks Belle.
"Free and clear," says Phillip, "Now you are free to make Shawn miserable instead of me."
Roman brings Sami and Lucas into their room at the safe house, "It may not be the towers, but you'll be safe here. We have cops everywhere."
"Salem cops," asks Sami, "I thought you said we'd be safe." She isn't exactly thrilled with the surroundings.
"Can I get you anything," asks Roman.
"Some disinfectant," says Sami. Roman tells Sami this is for her own good, hugs her and leaves.
Sami says she thinks they should have gone to Switzerland with Will, "Carrie and Austin would be glad to see us."
"I thought they moved to Switzerland to get away from us," says Lucas., "Besides, we have everything we need... Cable TV... Soapnet..."
Sami throws a fit because the hangars won't come out of the closet. She slaps them around. That'll show those dirty hangars. Lucas tires to be cheerful. He shows her all the great toiletries from the bathroom, "And, look, we have a bed. I could fix the boredom part right now."
"What," says Sami, "We're going to short-sheet ourselves?" Lucas has something else in mind. Sami says, "There are cops all around and probably security cameras. We'll end up on YouTube! And PS – I'm pregnant. Eeeeeuwww." She sends him to take a load of stuff back into the bathroom. When he comes back Sami asks what is the real reason they are there, "You want us here so we can get EJ out of our lives, don't you?"
EJ calls and leaves a message for Sami to get in touch with him. Bart walks in and announces Kate Roberts has arrived. He uses a fake English accent and EJ tells him to cut it out.
"I'm sorry," says Bart, "It just slips out sometimes."
"Well, slip it out permanently."
Kate comes in. EJ tells her he's been trying to find Sami, but has had no luck. Kate tells him that's because Sami is in a safe house. Roman arranged it. "Well," says EJ, "Where is this safe house?"
"If I knew that, it wouldn't be a safe house, would it?" Kate knows why he is so anxious to talk to Sami, "You want to know how the amnio came out and if you are the father of those twins."
EJ flips out, "TWINS?"
"That's right," says Kate, "And I wouldn't worry about it. The results are going to come out in your favor."
Marlena startles Nick. He gives her the results of the amnio since she asked if she could see them before anyone else. Marlena opens the envelope and reads. She turns and she and Nick stare at each other.
Belle can't believe she's divorced before she is thirty. She can't believe how much things have changed since last year when they were living across from each other, "We're divorced and Shawn and Mimi are divorced and Shawn and I are... sorry." Phillip says he's just happy to have Belle as a friend.
Hope tries to convince Shawn Claire knows he is her father. Shawn tells her about the big moment in Chicago. Shawn feels like he's losing both Claire and Belle.
Nick tells Marlena he is sorry the damnable test results aren't what she wanted. Marlena asks him to keep this quiet for a while and walks off. Nick says, "Good work, Nick. Are you proud of yourself?"
Lucas tells Sami they will make the best of things in the safe house. He wants to talk about the kids. They boy will go to Northwestern on a full scholarship and then be eligible for the NFL draft and play free safety for the Bears.
"If he wants to play pro football," says Sami, "We should consider a university that has a real football team." Sami insists their son is not going to play pro football, anyway. Sami talks about names. She likes "Tom" for the boy. Lucas loves it. Sami likes "Colleen" for the girl. Lucas ain't thrilled with that.
Kate really hopes the kids turn out to be EJ's. EJ is curious why mommie dearest doesn't want that for her son. "Because," says Kate, "I don't want him to end up with that tramp." Wrong choice of words... Kate forgot EJ is infatuated with "that tramp," too, "It will all turn out great. The kids will be your and Lucas will be free of Sami and we'll all be happy for all the Days Of Our Lives." EJ insists Stefano will also be happy when he finds out he's getting two heirs for the price of one.
EJ tells Kate it isn't just about what Stefano wants, but if the babies turn out to be his, this could end the feud. Kate gets a call. Nick tells her it's over and Marlena should be delivering the news to Lucas and Sami about now. Kate asks what the real results were. Nick says he didn't do the test. Kate thinks that's probably for the best. She hangs up, turns to EJ and says, "Break out the cigars, baby because you are the father." EJ beams.
Belle says she is happy to have Phillip as a friend, too, but she thinks their living arrangement has been a little tense. She thinks it's more Shawn's fault than Phillip's. Phillip asks if she and Shawn have talked about this. Belle says they have talked around it. Belle wants to ask Phillip something but doesn't want Shawn to find out. Phillip swears Shawn will never know. Belle stammers, "Well... I was wondering... if you could help Shawn find a job."
Hope tells Shawn to cut it out. She insists he is making a contribution to the family by spending time with his daughter. She tells him he and Belle can live at their house. Bo comes down and says he thinks that's a pretty good solution. Shawn says if it were just he and Claire he would do it, but he isn't so sure Belle will want to do it.
"Shawn doesn't strike me as the corporate type," says Phillip, "He strikes me more as the nursery school type." Phillip says he has connections so he will see what he can do, "And, I guess we'll just keep it our little secret."
Marlena arrives at Sami and Lucas' hovel. She brought donuts so they can eat themselves into oblivion when they see the test results. She tells them the results are in. She hands Sami the envelope. The blood drains from Sami's face as she opens it. Marlena says, "I'm sorry things weren't different."
Sami is a fountain of tears as she looks at the test results, "EJ's the father."
Bart announces Roman's arrival at the DiMera mansion sans accent. Roman comes in and sees Kate, "Well, you look awfully comfortable. But let's get down to it. Why did you call me here?" Kate tells him she and EJ need his help. Roman looks confused – more than usual.
Kate asks, "You haven't heard the news?"
"What news?" EJ drops the baby bomb. The twins are his. Roman nukes and wonders how Kate found this out before him. EJ says the twins will connect them for a long time so they should set aside their differences. He wants to see Sami. He knows she is sequestered an a safe house and he wants five minutes with her.
Roman grits his teeth, "That ain't gonna happen, EJ."
Sami falls apart. Lucas tries to comfort her. Sami and Marlena both say they prayed so hard for the babies to be Lucas'. Sami vows to find a way to get custody. Lucas tells her to calm down and reminds her of what Dr. Jacobs said about stress. He promises to be there, "I'll be their little league coach... I'll go to their school plays... I'll teach them to set off stink bombs and handle whoopee cushions like a pro." Sami bawls.
Roman grabs EJ and tells him he has no right to see Sami. Kate tries to break them up as they continue to argue. Roman says he will give Lucas a message and if they want to contact EJ they will work something out. EJ tells Roman he has a right to see Sami. Roman says the kids will be better off spending 30 years in a safe house rather than finding out what a loser their old man is. He storms out.
Bo says Shawn has to be straight with Phillip. He needs to tell Phillip he has to give Shawn and Belle some space.
"He's already giving us space," says Shawn, "We're living in it." Shawn decides he will lay all his cards out on the table.
Phillip tells Belle Titan finances an auto parts place in Cleveland. Shawn can work for that company. Belle doesn't want Shawn working in Cleveland, "That would be quite a commute." Phillip says Shawn could be based in Salem. He would have to travel some, but he'd be selling auto parts to garages. Titan is involved but the name doesn't show up. Phillip goes to make some calls and set things up. Belle thanks him.
Shawn walks in. He finds Belle and says, "Wait till you see what my mom bought Claire."
"She's a worse shopaholic than I am," says Belle.
"She would have to live at the mall for that to be true," says Shawn. he tells her about the cute little swimsuit Hope bought. Belle scoops up Claire and runs to the car to see it. Apparently it was too big of a load for Shawn to haul in by himself.
Phillip joins Shawn. Shawn tells Phillip he needs to back off and let them be a family by themselves right now. Phillip says he never thought of the living arrangements as permanent. Shawn says they can't stay there any more. "It's really complicated," says Shawn, "Kind of like a light switch. It's not working." Phillip thinks Shawn is still peeved about Claire running to him in Chicago, instead of to Shawn.
Roman arrives at Bo and Hope's house. He tells them Sami is having twins. Hope congratulates him, but then Roman tells them about the little complication – EJ is the daddy. Whoa, man, that does it. With news like that, Hope has to pull out all the stops. She goes to make coffee.
Bo asks Roman if there is something else. Roman says, "I think I'm in trouble – big time."
Lucas and Sami lie in bed, eat donuts and talk. Sami says, "I think we should move to Bora-Bora."
"I've never heard of it," says Lucas.
"It's another name for DOOLa-DOOLa," says Sami. She wishes the babies were Lucas'. She's afraid she's going to lose him. Lucas chomps his donut.
Nick bumps into Marlena. She asks if he's OK. Nick says he has been better. He wonders how Sami and Lucas took the news. Marlena says they will adjust. He says he is sorry. "It's incredible," says Marlena, "how a little slip of paper can change lives so drastically." She leaves.
Nick stands alone and says, "Nick, you have to do the test for real this time."
Lucas vows he isn't going anywhere. He says Sami's stuck with him for the next 60 years. Sami cracks a smile. Lucas isn't going to let some paternity test break them up. He says he wouldn't change their situation if they had a hundred kids with their DNA. Sami says she doesn't deserve him. "I can't argue with that," says Lucas. This leads to a pillow fight, which leads to other things.
Kate doesn't think Sami will survive a week in the safe house. EJ thinks Lucas will manipulate her while they are in there. He has to get in. Kate wonders how he can do that if he can't find it. EJ says, "If Mohammad can't go to the mountain, we'll bring the mountain to Mohammad."
Roman says, "This is personal."
"Anna," asks Bo.
"Yeah," says Roman, "We had a big old fight."
"How did you leave things," asks Bo, "Did you kiss and make up."
"I guess you could say that," says Roman.
Bo says, "You didn't!"
Roman says, "I did. I slept with Anna."
Hope walks out of the kitchen just in time to hear the revelation. She grins from ear to ear. Ciara's diapers have Bo's name written all over them.
Shawn doesn't want to argue. He says he and Belle can crash at Bo and Hope's place. He wonders if Phillip could go to Europe and work for Titan for a while. Phillip thinks they should wait and hear what Belle has to say. In walks Belle. Pan to Phillip. Fade out.
Bo tells Anna, "Roman has a tendency to disappear every now and then. It's one of his shortcomings." Flash to Roman who may be hiding in the next room.
Shawn says, "When I get back we can start moving out. Pan to Phillip, who looks like the cat that ate the canary, and then to Belle.
Stefano says, "You must connect with Samantha. I don't care how you do it, just make sure you bring her to me." Tony says, "Done father." EJ listens.
SCREAM! The cops bust in with guns trained on Sami and Lucas.