The Happy Hypo
"Oh good," says Patch, "So now we're both mad."
Kayla looks at the collage of pictures on the wall, "What do you think? Every face is a memory."
"Of what, I have no idea," says Patch.
Kayla thinks the Beatles were right. All you need is love. Patch asks if they said anything bout tough love.
"Don't kid yourself," says Kayla, "Love is tough."
"It depends on how well my patient cooperates."
Hope and the brat are at the pub. Hope was hoping Bo would have called by now. Chelsea has good news. Nick is getting his own place to make things perfect for their first time. Maggie senses gossip and walks into the pub. She asks to talk to Hope alone. The brat leaves with Doodlebug.
The gossip factory goes into high gear. She didn't want to embarrass the brat, but Hope needs to know something. Maggie takes out her portable megaphone and says, "I found a pair of Chelsea's panties under Nick's bed."
Nick reads the note from Maggie. Willow knocks at the window. She climbs in and asks where the warden is. Nick tells her Maggie is out. Willow says she left something. Nick tells her Maggie found them and jumped to conclusions, "If somebody thinks I'm having sex, I'd like it to be true."
Willow says she can help with that. She moves in on him, but Nick backs her off. Willow twirls her panties and says, "Evidence proves you are guilty even though you are innocent. I have another problem. I am innocent, and everybody thinks I am guilty because there is no evidence to prove otherwise."
Gabby is using an earpiece and a microphone to talk into her radio. She gets off and tells Bo they didn't find any survivors. Oh, the despair! Then, she turns back to the radio and gets another message. She tells Bo they found them, "They're alive!" Oh, the joy!
Maggie wonders if this is the most embarrassing conversation she and Hope have ever had. If it isn't, Maggie the Mouth will be very disappointed. Hope wonders if the panties might belong to someone else. Maggie thinks the only girl in Nick's life is Chelsea. She leans in and says, "If they are having sex, ask her to respect my home. But either way, let me know so I can spread it around."
"If they are," says Hope, "she is a better liar than I thought possible."
Nick wants Willow to leave. She tells him the only place she can go is back to the park bench she slept on last night. As she walks past his desk, she finds the paper open to the real estate section. She figures he's looking for his own place, "Great! You've got two roofs over your head, and I have none." Nick asks just what it is that Willow wants. Willow wants the brush. Nick wants to give her the brush off. She says she really wants a job but doesn't know what to put on her resume, "Accused arsonist... Hooker..." Nick is sure she will figure something out.
"Until my trial! And then what?"
"And then you'll be in jail, and you'll have a roof over your head."
Nick apologizes. Willow says, "All you care about is Chelsea. Have a great time in your new place." She starts to leave. He stops her and says maybe they can figure something out. He promises to look into things for her.
Gabby tells Bo the chopper spotted the kiddie corps. She calls in for more info and tells Bo everybody is fine. They will radio in when everyone is in the chopper. Gabby goes to make coffee.
Speaking of which, paranoid Patch stares into his cup and asks Kayla what's in his coffee. "Coffee," says Kayla. She pulls out a syringe. He wants to know what that is.
"Medicine," says Kayla, "A relaxant. A John Black Cocktail."
Patch turns away, "We don't need the happy hypo."
"No," says Kayla, "We don't, but you do." She spikes him.
"OOWWWWWW! You play dirty."
"When it comes to us, you bet I do," says Kayla.
Maggie takes off as Chelsea comes back into the pub. Chelsea senses something and asks what that was about, "What did I do now?"
Hope says, "You could have been up front with me, Chelsea, and told me the truth."
Chelsea asks, "Told you the truth about what?"
Hope says, "You and Nick. That you were intimate with one another."
Willow says she still has some pride. She spills her bag on the way out the window. She tells Nick it's everything she owns. Nick stops her, "The place in the paper is in a nice neighborhood. I think you should take it." Willow reminds him there are a few small problems with that, like she has no references and no rent. Nick says he will call the manager. She thanks him. Hugs.
Kayla apologizes for the sneak attack. She wants to take Patch down memory lane. He wants to know when the drugs will kick in. He asks to see the empty syringe. He picks it up and studies it, "That was the weapon of choice back in the bin."
Kayla says, "But we're gonna use it to make you better."
Steve drones, "That's what they always told me."
Gabby pours a drink from duck's private stock for Bo. Knowing Shawn, Belle and Phillip are headed back, he thought it would be best to be plastered by the time they get there. Gabby calls in for more info. She repeats what she hears, "Belle... Phillip... Shawn Brady.... He was the last one out of the water."
Bo asks, "What about the baby?"
"They rescued Belle," says Gabby, "She's fine." She goes back to the radio and asks for the status of Claire. She listens, and then turns to Bo and says, "They can't find Claire."
Patch plays his harmonica. Kayla watches. Patch looks up at her, "God, you're so beautiful."
"That's just the medicine talking," says Kayla.
He tells her it's him. Kayla doesn't think this is appropriate patient-doctor interaction. He grabs her. She thinks he's crossing the line. "I don't need a doctor," says Steve, "I need my wife."
"We can't," says Kayla, "I don't carry Viagra in my bag. The next few weeks won't be easy."
"They couldn't be any worse than the last 15 years," says Steve. Not to mention the last fifteen minutes. Kayla tells him they aren't leaving the room until she has her husband back. He tells her they will be there for a long time. "That won't be the worst thing that ever happened to me," says Kayla, "One time I had to catch up on two weeks of DOOL tapes in one day."
Chelsea claims innocence. Hope tells her about the panties. "That's impossible," says Chelsea, "We never slept together. He gave me the speech about not disrespecting Maggie. And I was stupid enough to believe him!"
Hope asks, "Is he seeing someone else?"
"If not," says Chelsea, "he's got a lot of explaining to do."
Nick knows how the blackmail game is played. He will get Willow the apartment but never wants to hear about the hairbrush again.
Bo and Gabby speculate about what happened to Claire as they hear the boat come up to the dock. Bo thinks maybe the second team might have found her.
Kayla doesn't think Steve will like her much over the next couple days, "I have to try to get inside your mind."
"Shouldn't be too hard," says Patch, "There's a lot of room in there."
Kayla wants him to look at the photos and remember the people from his heart not just his head, "Steven Earl Johnson... son of Jo and Duke Johnson... Jack... Adrienne... Stephanie..." He takes the picture of Stephanie. Kayla asks what he is feeling.
Chelsea says she should have "IDIOT" tattooed on his forehead. Hope thinks there could be an explanation. Chelsea asks what Hope would do under the same circumstances.
Hope offers mature and helpful advice, "Kill him."
"Great idea," says Chelsea.
"Just get the facts," says Hope.
"I don't know who I hate more," says Chelsea, "Him or her."
Hope offers mature and helpful advice, "Him."
The rescue crew brings the kiddie corps in. Shawn stands dripping wet with a towel wrapped around him, "I lost her, Dad. I lost my daughter." Hugs. Belle whimpers and shakes.
Nick writes a check to get Willow started. It will cover the deposit and first month's rent. Willow wonders where the rest will come from. Chelsea knocks. Nick tells Willow to get out. "Oh no," says Willow, "I'm not missing the fun."
Caroline brings Hope coffee and asks what's up. Hope says it was Bo on the phone. They found the boat. Claire is missing. Caroline says they have to believe they will find her, "It may take six months and she'll be eighteen, but they will find her."
Bo gives Belle a cup of coffee. Belle is a tower of strength. She shakes and gives that thousand-yard stare she is so famous for.
Shawn refuses his coffee and starts to walk back to the chopper. Bo says he is too weak to go help rescue, "They will find her."
Claire smears black tar on her face and silently swims for shore, "They'll never find me. It's a good thing I read Phillip's jungle survival manual."
Shawn says they put a vest on her and checked it, "There has to be a signal." Phillip comes up to them and says it isn't Shawn's fault. He was the last to hold her and is responsible for losing her. The surge pulled them out into the ocean and they got dragged down. A wave hit them and she was ripped from him. He swears he never let go. Shawn and Phillip share a buddy hug. Belle shakes.
Patch is sick of reciting things over and over again like a school kid. Kayla suggests he recite poems. She asks him what he thinks of Stephanie's picture. He pulls it down.
Can't decide if she loves or hates me.
Robert Burns rolls over in his grave.
"OK," says Kayla, "Perhaps poetry wasn't such a good idea. Do you love her?"
"She's my kid," drones Patch. He turns into Devil-Patch, "We're done here!"
Kayla says, "Fine!" She pulls out another picture and sticks it in his face, "How does that make you feel?"
Patch stares at EJ's picture and says he didn't see that coming. He claims it does nothing for him. She asks if she should put it on the wall. Patch has a meltdown. He tears them all down and rips her picture in half. Kayla wonders if that was supposed to hurt her feelings, "Get back in bed."
Steve comes off the hinges, "DON'T GIVE ME ORDERS!"
Kayla says they will stay there until someone breaks, and it won't be her. It will be the audience.
Nick pushes Willow out the window and lets Chelsea in. She wonders what took so long. He tells her he was cleaning up, "The place was a mess."
"Did you remember to pick up the extra panties," she asks.
Nick is shocked, "Maggie told you about the panties?"
"Maggie told everyone in Salem about the panties and she is now passing out flyers in Times Square."
Nick claims there is an explanation. Chelsea suggests testing them in the lab to see who's cooties are on them.
Belle shakes. Bo tells her it's not her fault. Belle thinks it should be her out there, not Claire. Everyone agrees. Belle rambles about the past few months, "She's out there and alone and the water is so cold. There is no one to sing to her. If she could hear my voice she wouldn't be so scared." The radio blasts. Belle goes into freak-overdrive, "How is she? How is my baby?"
Kayla wonders how long Steve will give her the silent treatment. That's a good idea. Maybe they both could shut up. Patch tells her to leave so he can sleep. She isn't leaving. He thinks she's stubborn. He says he would have been a fool not to fall in love with her. She reminds him they promised more than love. They promised courage... sacrifice... boredom. She says most men would never have survived what he went through. She cuddles him and tells him to get some sleep. She will be there when he wakes up.
Patch looks longingly into her eyes, "Are you sure my middle name is Earl?"
"Positive," says Kayla. They fall asleep. The viewers were asleep long ago.
Nick tells Chelsea there is no other girl. Chelsea reminds him of the little incident with Billie. He claims he doesn't know how the panties got there. She accuses him of sleeping around. He thinks the underwear may be Abby's and will ask Maggie about that, "The only panties I want under my bed are yours. I love you."
Gabby gets back on the radio and asks for a status report. Despair! She gives them the bad news – they haven't found Claire. Her beacon isn't working, "They've changed the mission from rescue to recovery."
Phillip rushes Bo, "You got to get those choppers back in the air!"
"I don't have any authority here," says Bo.
"You never let that stop you back in Salem," says Phillip.
Belle falls apart. Shawn insists Claire didn't die. Belle sinks into the depths of despair.
On a deserted island just west of Tinda Lao, Claire sips cocoanut milk and looks at the stars before falling asleep.
FF on everyone.
Marlena tells Hope, "Belle isn't the only person who has had a visit from John in her dreams. John has come to me also."
Phillip tells Victor, "It was my job to keep her safe. And now, my little girl is gone."
Sami tells Lucas, "I'm happy with who I am... and I'm happy with you and our kids... and I'm not gonna let anybody take that away from me."
Tony screams at EJ, "You bring me Samantha Roberts now!"