Monday, May 14, 2007


Hope puts Doodlebug down, goes over and sits on the couch and talks with Chelsea. They fold laundry and chat. Hope tells her she doesn't have to help, but sweet, darling little Chelsea wouldn't think of letting Hope do it alone.

Hope decides they don't have to do the laundry right now. She wants to relax and talk. She wants to know what's going on in the brat's world. Chelsea tells her things are good. Hope asks if it has something to do with the opposite sex. "How did you guess," asks Chelsea, "It's about Nick. We did some talking... Can I ask you something? It's kind of embarrassing."

"Just ask me," says Hope.

Chelsea asks, "How do you know if you're ready to lose your virginity?" Hope says, "Well, in my case, the football team had a free night."

Nick lies on the floor and looks at a picture of Chelsea. Willow snores in bed. Nick wakes her up. She asks for five more minutes. He says she has to go. He yanks the covers off and tells her it's check out time. "Why are you so spazzed," asks Willow.

"Maggie will flip out if she finds us," says Nick. Willow refuses to leave.

Maggie calls, "Nick, is everything all right in there?"

Nick freezes, "I'm officially dead."

Steve comes into the tiki bar, "Hey, I heard there were crazy nude beaches down here." He pokes Shawn, "Don't tell your aunt Kayla about that."

"You got that right," says Shawn, "I wouldn't want to see Kayla nude on a beach either."

Patch claims he's the 'new and improved' Steve. Shawn tells Patch about Belle and Phillip being on the boat. He also tells him Belle has the GPS. He thinks they can track them. Bo wonders where Steve got the plane. Steve says he flew to Guam and got the plane there. He's only got it for 24 hours, so they have to get going.

"Hold on cowboy," says Bo, "Shawn's not going anywhere with you."

The brat apologizes for asking. Hope apologizes for reacting like that. She's flattered Chelsea asked her. Chelsea doesn't want to talk to Billie about it because of what happened with Nick and her. She tells Hope about getting back together with Nick. Hope says Chelsea has reasons not to trust Nick. Chelsea knows she can trust him but he does certain little things that make her wonder. Hope says Bo is the same way, with the same woman, as a matter of fact. Hope thinks the brat has come a long way in the last few months, "You're more mature, and hat's good, since you're taking things to the next level."

"The next level," says Chelsea, "You make it sound like a video game."

"It's more than that," says Hope, "Say, for example, you didn't want to get pregnant. "

"Nick and I would use protection," says Chelsea.

"Oh," says Hope, "So you and Nick have discussed it already."

"No," she says, "But it's Nick. I know him."

"I'm not trying to give you a hard time," says Hope, "I like Nick. I just don't..."

The brat interrupts, "You don't think I'm ready."

Hope says, "I want you to really think about this, OK?"

Chelsea says she has thought about it and thinks she is ready. Hope asks how many of her friends have had sex. Chelsea ways her classes are like a wrap-up of who did who at what frat party over the weekend.

Hope asks, "Would you have sex because everyone else is doing it, or because you care about Nick?"

Nick hustles Willow into the bathroom and answers the door. Maggie says she could have sworn she heard voices. Nick claims he was watching a movie on his computer. She asks why the sleeping bag is on the floor. Nick says he had a backache. The mattress isn't firm enough. Maggie heads for the bathroom to get him some aspirin. Nick jumps out of his skin. He tells her he already looked and there is none in there. So Maggie heads downstairs to get some.

Willow comes out chuckling, "A back ache?"

"You have to go," says Nick. Maggie comes back. Nick hustles Willow back into the bathroom.

"Your hospitality really sucks," says Willow.

Maggie comes in, hands Nick some aspirin and heads for the bathroom to put the bottle in there. Nick gasps, "You can't go in there!"

Bo wants to know if Patch is in the right frame of mind before Shawn gets in the plane with him. Steve says, "That's cool." Bo asks about the deprogramming. Patch runs through it. Bo thinks the process usually takes weeks, but Dr. Arrowsmith turned him around in a matter of hours. Patch insists that's what happened.

Shawn chimes in, "Let him fly me in there. I don't have time to sit around while you try to figure out if he's crazy or not."

Hope asks, "Does Nick know you are a virgin?"

The Prevuze unabashed dictionary defines a virgin as a nookie rookie.

"Not exactly," says Chelsea, "I may have given him the impression I've had more experience than I have had."

"You have to tell him the truth," says Hope.

"I just need to know... What if I do something wrong, or it's awkward?"

"Let's go back to what I asked before," says Hope," Do you love Nick?"

"I think so."

"Think isn't good enough," says Hope. The brat says she always saw herself with someone with a 'bad boy' status. Hope says opposites attract. When she met Bo he was everything she wasn't looking for, but it worked. Chelsea thinks that's how she and Nick are. She makes an instant decision and babbles as she runs for the door, "You know what? I think I do love Nick. Thank you! I'm gonna go tell Nick I'm ready for the next level!"

The brat is long gone. Hope says, "That's not what I meant... Chelsea..."

Steve says he's just trying to lighten Bo's load.

Gabby looks at the GPS and announces the boat is 80 miles out. Shawn tells Bo nothing will happen. Shawn says, it's his decision, anyway, not Bo's. Patch works on Bo. He says he just thought it would be nice if he could do some good after all the bad he has done. Bo relents.

Nick tells Maggie it's a mess in the bathroom. Maggie says she raised two daughters. She has seen it all. Maggie starts to open the door. Nick doubles over in pain and screams. Maggie runs to his rescue. She rubs his shoulders and suggests he shouldn't go to work. Nick insists he has to. Maggie gives up and says she will go fix breakfast. Nick says he will grab something at work. Maggie leaves.

Nick knocks on the bathroom door. Willow pops her head out and says she is getting ready for her shower. He says she needs to leave. Willow closes the door. Nick sighs, "Great. Just great."

Just what he needed, Chelsea knocks and tells him she wants to talk.

Nick panics, "I'm changing."

Chelsea walks in and soaks in Nick and his boxers, "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Shawn and Patch work on their foolproof plan to track Phillip down in the middle of the ocean.

Bo asks Gabby for her help, "My cell is dead."

"OMG," says Gabby, "Was that your last brain cell? "

Bo says it's his cell phone that's dead, "I have to call the States."

The brat tells Nick she has made a decision. Nick says he can't do this right now. He asks her to come back later. She wonders why he is in such a cranky mood. He says he hasn't had his morning coffee. The brat thinks she can cheer him up without the caffeine.

She hears water running, "Is that the shower?"

Nick jumps, "The shower? Yeah, I'm warming it up."

"You're wasting water," she screams, "Didn't you see the Al Gore movie?" She starts to run in and turn it off.

Nick yells, "You can't go in there!"

She gives him a look, "Why?"

"My unmentionables are on the floor!"

"First," she says, "I can't believe you called them 'unmentionables.'" She stares at his boxer shorts, "Second, nothing is as embarrassing as those."

Bo calls Hope and fills her in on what's happening on the island.

"Shawn must be going out of his mind," says Hope.

"He is," says Bo, "But, let's face it... it's a short trip." He tells her about Steve being there. Hope tells him about Steve being kidnapped. Bo, crack Salem cop, thinks Wells must have been behind it. He wants Hope to find out how Kayla thinks Steve is doing. Hope agrees. Bo hangs up and says to himself, "Steve, my man, I have a bad feeling about you."

Nick dresses. He looks at Chelsea who is soaking it in. "Peeky McPeek," he says, "What are you looking at?"

"You, Nick," says the brat, "You actually look pretty hot in those boxers. In fact, you are drool material."

"That's better than being DOOL material," says Nick.

Chelsea goes on, "I can't wait to find out what unmentionables are in there." She starts to go inside the bathroom, but Nick fakes getting a text message, "Oops, I'm late for work." He hustles her out.

Willow comes out of the bathroom looking for her bag. She hears Chelsea in the hall and dives under the bed. Chelsea and Nick come back in. Chelsea wants to talk, "Do you think it's hot in here?" She goes into the bathroom to shut off the shower as Nick goes into cardiac arrest.

Patch thinks he could drop Shawn about a mile away from where Phillip is. In other words, the big plan is to dump Shawn into the middle of the ocean in a spot where Phillip's boat is headed. Quick, someone call 1-800-DUMBASS. We need to alert the people at the Darwin Awards. Patch asks about the cops needing Shawn's help to nail EJ. Shawn says nobody ever said anything about it, "Thanks for doing this."

"What's family for," asks Steve.

"You went the extra mile."

"You can always count on your uncle Patch."

As Chelsea inspects the bathroom, Nick wonders where Willow is. Chelsea sticks her head out of the door and dangles a frilly net scrubbie, "I found one of your unmentionables." Nick asks her to keep it a secret. Chelsea sits him on the bed and says, "I've been thinking."

"God help us," says Nick.

She thinks they should take the relationship to the next level. She kisses him. Nick gets into it. He looks over Chelsea's shoulder. Willow pops her head up and slices her hand across her throat. Nick tells Chelsea he can't do this right now.

Bo tells Gabby he's waiting for another call and needs to talk to Shawn alone. Gabby goes over to distract Patch.

Adrienne comes to Hope's door. Hope says she's looking for Kayla and asks Adrienne where she is. Adrienne says she can't say. Hope tells her Steve is on Tinda Lao. Bo thinks there is a chance Steve is dangerous. Adrienne hangs her head. Hope begs her to tell what's wrong.

Shawn tells Gabby they are taking off in a couple of hours. She offers to get Patch a room on the house. Patch follows her upstairs.

Shawn tells Bo it's hard to believe Steve showed up when he did. Bo is skeptical about it. He tells Shawn he has to be careful. He says Hope is going to talk to Kayla, "Until we know for sure you're not going anywhere with him Steve."

Hope badgers Adrienne. She tells Hope she promised she wouldn't say anything. Hope begs. Adrienne tells Hope to sit down. Hope ignores her. Adrienne says, "Kayla asked me to buy her a gun. I know I shouldn't have but Kayla seemed desperate. She needed a gun to stop Steve from doing something really bad."

"What," says Hope, "Tell me. What did Kayla think Steve was going to do?"

Adrienne whines, "Kill Bo and Shawn."

Chelsea blows up, "What was I thinking you would be my first? I'm glad I didn't lose it to you."

Nick says, "Wait, we can talk."

"We can talk when hell freezes over!" She storms out.

Willow slithers out from under her rock, "Who knew you were such a stud muffin, Nicky? I hope you didn't quit playing doctor on account of me."

Nick screams, "That's it! I want you out! You've ruined everything! If you breathe a word of this to anyone I swear..."

Hope calls Bo. She tells him what Adrienne said, "EJ sent Steve to Tinda Lao. Steve is there to kill you and Shawn."

Shawn overhears. Patch slinks in the background. "So my suspicions were right," says Bo, "Steve wants to kill us." FF Shawn Steve.


Maggie holds up a pair of lace panties and says, "Hey, either you've got a secret lover, Nick, or just a... kinky little secret."

Chelsea says, "You can stay with Aunt Maggie and live like a monk." Nick says, "No thank you." Chelsea says, "Or you can move out and get your own place."

Shawn says, "I'm getting on that plane." Bo says, "No you're not. You do, and you'll die."

Phillip tells Belle, "Claire and I are not going back to Salem until I am the only father she knows and the one she recognizes."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, what exactly is the reason that Kayla had Adrienne buy the gun? What kinds of crimes has Kayla committed that she couldn't make it through a background check. STUpid. And how did Adrienne get out of the looney bin? It doesn't seem like EJ's style to just let her go. Did I miss something?

4:55 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

God punishes sinners..
No, God punishes DOOL fans by making us watch storylines that past being interesting about 3 months ago!!!!

DOOLism of the day:

"It's more than that," says Hope, "Say, for example, you didn't want to get pregnant. "

"Nick and I would use protection," says Chelsea.

Unlike you did when you slept with Patrick eh Dope? Wow talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

For that matter does ANYONE is Salem know about birth control?
The place is like a Maury show waiting to happen....ohhh now that would be cool, Sami and Lucas could go on Maury with EJ and have a paternity test...

*fade in on the set of the Maury show, Sami sits crying, Lucas looks constipated.

Maury: Okay Sami you have told your husband he may not be the father of you child, now let's bring out the man you say raped you, here's EJ!

audience boos loudly. EJ walks out smiling. Sami takes the other chair and throws it to the other side of the stage and starts screaming

Sami: You, @#%^&* you raped me you know you did!! %*#% YOU!!

EJ: Now dahling, you shouldn't say such things about that wonderful night we spent making love

Lucas leaps into action and looks further constipated. Sami collapes into the chair and sobs her mantra

Sami: Ijustwantedtobehappy,I'msorryI'msososorry

A split screen comes up behind them of EJ, Lucas, and a 6 month old (this is 2 weeks after she gives birth). Sami runs to the screen and starts poking at it.

Sami: Look at his ears! Those are your ears Lucas! And his hairline! Yours!!

Lucas continues to look as if he really needs some Ex-Lax

Maury: Okay the results are in...
In the case of baby Teletubby.. are NOT the father.

Sami collapes into Lucas's arms, EJ looks triumphant

Maury: and EJ...................
you are NOT the father!

The audience explodes! Lucas pushes Sami away, EJ looks confused. Sami starts to babble

Sami: I have no idea what's going on!! Lucas you have to believe me!! Lucas please say you believe me....FF Sami


Now to email this to the DOOL writers...maybe during sweeps week.

5:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deb, that was SO funny!!

I love to read Prevuze - it jump starts me in the morning and starts my day with a few laughs - great job!

7:27 AM  
Blogger Applecheeks said...

GPS = watching Payla without zapping....isn't that also like about the 7th circle of Dante's hell? HAHAHA

Loved all of the other pictures too.

I expected Prevuze to follow up Steve's comment that he was just there to "lighten Bo's load" with a zinger. My slight disappointment was reversed when I got to Bo losing his "last brain cell". That was classic!

Monday morning, here I come!

7:37 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Now to email this to the DOOL writers...maybe during sweeps week.


You might as well forget it. They don't use material that good.

7:39 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

Didn't it occur to EJ that someone would eventually contact Snarly about Steve?

And I think the Darwin award should automatically go to the DOOL writers anytime. HAHAHHA

Great Prevuisms today - Kayla on the nude beach, Snarly's last brain cell and Olive Oyl.

Thanks, Prevuze, for giving us a reason to get up on a Monday! :D

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well Nick might not have gotten laid but at least it saved him from a lifetime of Valtrax prescriptions.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Well Nick might not have gotten laid but at least it saved him from a lifetime of Valtrax prescriptions.

Well, we know Shawn had unprotected sex with her, so he's not quite as fortunate. Or Belle, probably...

9:29 AM  
Anonymous Cindyjh said...

So Steve just shows up on the island and Bo and Shawn are what? Just glad to see him there? Are not suspicious in the least? Don't wonder why he isn't being deprogrammed? Just happy to see he showed up to help???

And I thought Nick sent Willow to a hotel, and she ends up at Hotel Maggie????

It's like we missed a day or something, there's so many holes in this script.

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

usually when i miss a day, i don't actually miss anything. then when i don't miss a day, i miss everything! i'm so confused! "miss a day, miss a lot" haha

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Nicky said...

"Who knew you were such a stud muffin, Nicky?"

Thanks, but I'm actually a little more muffin than stud.

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Dr. Arrowsmith

Are you sure that's not Dr. Aerosmith?

That would ROCK!

I watched Friday's show and I LOVED IT. I was so crying when Lucas told Sami she was his hero!

I'm such a sap! :-)

12:54 PM  

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