Friday, October 13, 2006

The Mile Out Club

Patch and Billie arrive at the hospital. Patch hesitates. He says he doesn't know the first thing about being Stephanie's old man. Billie convinces him to be himself.

"Whatever that is."

Patch goes into Stephanie's room. Stephanie sleeps. Stephanie wakes and smiles. He gives her a teddy bear wearing a Patch. She loves it. Patch hems and haws. He tells her the only memory he has of her was when she was a baby. Stephanie knows he will remember her mom, too. She sees Billie in back of him. She explodes like a Max Brady racecar, "What is she doing here?"

Chelsea the happy hooker trolls. A john comes along and looks her over. After wretching, he asks, "Are you are for sale?"

"For the right price," says the ho-brat.

"How much are we talking about," asks the creep.

Tek meets Lexie at the pub. He asks if she ended things with Abe. She tells him she didn't.

Abe tells officer Robin to check on the evidence in the big case. Robin agrees. Abe barks orders. Robin can't believe one person is responsible for all this. Abe says he wants the guy caught.

Bo the diplomat butts in and says, "He was caught. You let him go."

Mimi stops Willow as they walk along the dock. She thinks this may not be a good idea. Willow convinces her to tag along. "If this guy's everything you say he is, he's amazing," says Mimi.

"Maybe he has a friend," says Willow. She takes Mimi up to the boat. Mimi recognizes it and trouble brews.

Shawn comes up onto the deck, "Mimi, what are you doing here?"

Willow asks, "You guys know each other?"

Mimi says, "Meet my husband."

Abe tees off on Bo. Bo insists cadet Lockhart is the nefarious scoundrel who murdered Eve and who is harassing the Bradys, "This is my case, Abe."

Abe explodes, "That's it! In the office!" Inside, Abe asks, "Bo, do you want me to take your badge?"

"That's up to you," snorts Bo, "I'm just doing my job."

"Your job means following orders."

"You wanna take my badge take it," says Bo, "But I'm not gonna stop until Lockhart fries."

The ho-brat says, "I think you're out of my price range."

"Don't you have a red-light special," asks the creep. They bargain. The creep thinks Chelsea's price is too high. He roughs her up and says, "That's not the way it works on the street. If I don't get what I want you get the crap beat out of you!" Chelsea considers a discount.

Lexie tells Tek she and Abe are back together. Tek can't believe it. Dr. Slut says she never stopped loving Abe, she just has a strange way of showing it. Tek argues, but Lexie says this is what she wants for her and her son. Tek takes her hand and says, "I love you."

Lexie pulls away and hands him the classic line, "Then let me go. I promised Abe I would never see you again."

Patch says he asked Billie to come because she's his friend. Stephanie says, "She's not mine." Billie decides this would be a good time to wait outside.

After Billie leaves Patch says, "You forgot to spit and kick dirt in her face."

"Next time."

"You are my kid, aren't you," says Patch, "Could I talk you into being nicer to Billie."

"No," says Stephanie, "You should be with Mom, not that... not Billie."

Outside, Kayla sees Billie. Billie tells her Patch asked her to come. Billie and Kayla have a cold conversation about Steve needing to spend time with Stephanie.

Willow had no idea her angel was Mimi's husband. Mimi insists Shawn is no angel, "He did the knight in shining armor thing so he could get laid." Shawn and Mimi argue.

Mimi explodes, "I hope she gave you a discount! What is this 'Pretty woman?' She turns to Willow, "You're a slut."

Shawn tells her to leave Willow alone. Mimi accuses him of being protective. Shawn tells her not to take it out on Willow. Willow says all she did was try to be Mimi's friend, "I just opened up to you."

"Right after you opened up to my husband," screams Meems, "He's all yours. Well, actually he'll never be all yours."

Mimi storms off. That went well.

Shawn apologizes, "You hang with fallen angels."

"My favorite kind," says Willow.

Willow and Shawn go onto the boat. Willow is impressed. He tells her he used to go out with his grandpa and fish on the boat, or, at least one like it. These were some of his happiest memories. Willow suggests taking the boat out and 'finding perfection.' Shawn resists but Willow convinces him.

The ho-brat screams, "Let go, you creep!"

"You ain't even worth two dollars," says the creep. Dudley Do-Right rides up and stops the fight. He chases the creep off and says his name is Rick. "Hi," says the happy hooker, "I'm Chelsea Bens... Just Chelsea."

"Nice to meet you, Just Chelsea," says Rick. He says he's in Salem on business. She asks if he's looking for company. "It depends on how much company costs in Salem."

"It's $500 for straight sex and everything else is extra," says the brat.

"Sounds good," Rick takes out a wad-o-cash.

"It will be." Chelsea takes the bait.

"You're under arrest," says Rick, "You have the right to remain silent..."

Tek wonders what happened to Lexie. She says it's best for her not to see him again. She will always be grateful to him. Tek says, "You love me too. Admit it."

Abe tells Bo, "That is just about the most stupid thing I ever heard."

Bo takes the words right out of Prevuze mouth, "Working here I'd call that a bit redundant." Bo wonders if he's the only cop who has a clue about Lockhart.

"This is the Salem PD," says Abe, "It's against regulations for any cop to have a clue." Abe insists Bo has lost his objectivity. He's a liability on the case, that's why Abe removed him from it. Abe has to make sure no one on the jury thinks Abe let Bo railroad the guy because he slept with his wife.

Bo asks, "How did you feel when you found out about Tek sleeping with Lexie?"

"The same way," says Abe, "But I didn't use my position to go after him. You'd better deal with this or you'll lose your job and Hope."

"It would be terrible to lose my job," says Bo.

Willow and Shawn sail into the night. Shawn tells her about sailing around the world with Bo and Hope. She wonders how they ate. He says they are fishermen in his family. Willow wants Shawn to show her how to fish. He pulls out the fishing pole. The hooker tries to hook one. She botches the cast and Shawn fishes for something else.

Patch wants no more talk about Billie. He wants to talk about Stephanie. She says she grew up without a father. He can make up for that by the things he does now. She begs him to give it a chance with her mom. Patch says he can't. He doesn't feel what he's supposed to feel for her. Translation: He doesn't think she's as hot as Billie. He tells her to back off, "You're a racecar driver, not a shrink."

"After my last race, I'm thinking it would be better to be a shrink," says Stephanie, "Why do you change the subject when I get close to the truth?"

Billie tells Kayla she wants her to fight for Steve. Kayla is as confused as we are as to why Billie is so all fired hot to have other women fight for the men she is after.

Abe says Bo's obsession is putting Hope in an impossible position. Bo is peeved Abe talked to Hope and had an opportunity to steer her away from Lockhart, but didn't.

Abe does his best Robert DeNiro, "I will be watching you." Abe leaves. Bo stews.

The ho-brat tries to convince Rick this is just a big misunderstanding. He doesn't buy it, "I know, I know, your parents will just die when they find out, right?"

"That's the plan," thinks the scheming little virgin-ho.

Lexie tells Tek she has chosen Abe. Tek plays his trump card, "He can't even make love to you."

"That's not true any more," says Lexie.

"I am the one you want," insists Tek.

"Stop it," says Lexie, "Whatever we had is over." Tek can't accept it but Lexie tells him he has to move on. She leaves and Tek sighs.

Robin asks Bo for the forensic reports from Max' garage. He gives them to her. Mimi runs in. She wants to talk to Bo about Shawn, "Shawn is in trouble."

Meanwhile, back on the Fancy Face III, Shawn isn't having much trouble with Willow. Sometimes the cap'n can go down even when his ship isn't sinking.

Patch tells Stephanie even though he can't be with Kayla he wants to try the father-daughter thing. Stephanie says they can try it. She says he has to give her a big allowance and spoil her rotten. He thought he was supposed to keep the bums away. She says there is only one bum she cares about and he's not around. Patch says they had to drag Max of the hospital without seeing her, "He'll be back."

Billie says if Steve wants his old life back she won't stand in his way. Kayla doesn't buy it. Billie tells Kayla Steve doesn't feel like he can go to her for support. He feels judged. Kayla asked if Steve actually said that. Billie says he didn't really say that, but Billie knows what it is like to feel judged. Steve is her friend and she will not abandon him. Kayla tells her she loves him and knows who he really is.

Billie's cell phone rings and mercifully ends the torture. "WHAT," screams Billie, "OMG!" She tells Kayla, "It's a problem with my daughter." Billie runs out.

Abe toys with his drink at Chez Rouge. Lexie comes in, "Hi handsome. Wanna get married and spend all the Days Of Our Lives together?"


"Let's do it someplace far away from here," says Lexie.

"I'd go to the end of the world with you," says Abe, "Why do you ant to leave Salem?"

Lexie says she spoke to Tek and he didn't make it easy. He got the message though. She says he understands he is never to see her again. She thinks it's time to forgive and move on. Abe says he's learned happiness is temporary. That's why they have each other, "To hold on to." They promise each other they will never let go.

Lexie offers a toast and tells Abe, "Nothing is ever going to come between us again."

Tek comes between them and says, "Think again."

Mimi tells Bo about the job at Chez Rouge and the hooker.

"Yeah," says Bo, "Willow."

Mimi is shocked, "You know her?"

"I... met her," says Bo, "She seems nice."

"She is so not nice," says Mimi, "This is about Shawn dating a whore."

"We're done here," says Bo.

"She's a whore," yells Mimi, "A hooker. A prostitute."

As Mimi pulls out her thesaurus and searches for more descriptive terms, Bo says, "I know what it is."

Mimi says, "She talked Shawn into taking the boat out."

"Oh, damn," says Bo, "There is a storm coming in." Isn't there always.

Bo starts to leave for the dock, but Billie walks in and drops the solicitation bomb.

Abe and Tek nearly come to blows. Lexie breaks them up as the boys rant at each other. Tek claims he will be the one Lexie wants to be with. Abe says he will give him one chance to walk out of here on his own. Tek pulls out a ring, "Lexie, will you marry me?" Abe has a stroke.

Patch asks Stephanie if he has to take Max down a notch for her. Stephanie says no, but she's happy he asked. She's happy to have a dad now. Kayla comes in. She tells Patch Billie had to leave. He suggests cheeseburgers. Stephanie thinks he'll never get it past the nurse. Patch says Kayla can run interference while he smuggles them in, "OK! Cheeseburgers for everybody!" Patch leaves.

Stephanie says, "It's happening, Mom."

Kayla says, "It's... cheeseburgers."

Mimi asks Bo not to forget about Shawn. She leaves and Bo and Billie steam about Chelsea. Billie says she found out because some secret buddy of hers on the force got the info and sent her a text message. Bo says he has to go down to the pier and they can deal with it when he gets back. Billie can't believe he would leave.

It all becomes a moot point when they drag the happy hooker in.

Billie gasps, "OMG, Chelsea!"

The brat smiles, "Hi, Mom."


Shawn and Willow lay on the boat. Willow says, "And I thought fishing was boring." She can't believe she almost ruined the evening by bringing Mimi along. Shawn tells her to forget about it, as it starts to rain.

"I've never done it in the rain," says Willow.

Shawn asks, "You're not a member of the 'Mile Out Club?'"

"There is no such thing," says Willow.

"We are the charter members," says Shawn.

The radio booms out the bad weather report, "Small craft advisory! Danger Will Robinson! " The Fancy Face floats toward the perfect storm.



Tek says, "You're making a mistake and you don't realize it." Lexie whacks him, "YOU BASTARD!"

Victor tells Belle, "If there is anything I can do..." Belle says, "I would sooner live on the streets than take any help from you."

Hope is on the phone with Bo, "If you care anything about your son you will get here now."

Shawn says, "Tell them we are disabled and give them our location." Willow screams into the microphone, "Please! We need help! Please!" The raging sea washes over Shawn.


Blogger Bulldog said...

"Ho-Brat". Perfect! So are the pictures of her and the one of the Bermuda shirt.

I had to stop reading to stifle my laughing over Danger Will Robinson.

I'm NOT going to get my hopes up that the tide washes Jr. out to sea. But wouldn't it be a perfect ending? He'd be fish food and would eventually turn up in a bowl of Brady chowder...

GREAT Prevuze and pictures today!!

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree Bulldog, that would be a good ending - I'd love to say goodbye to Jr. Of course, it would be better if he took Belle with him. Alas, it is not meant to be. Instead this sick storyline can continue. The brat in jail, Jr. on the boat, whom wonder if it is something in Bo's genes....

8:07 AM  
Anonymous l'il devil said...

Something in Bo's genes? No. I think it's something in his jeans. HA!

8:14 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

"Comments" are getting as entertaining as Prevuze. Loved Prevuze, loved the pictures. I actually thought Bulldog's rendering of Kate was going to be her reaction on seeing the ho-brat in that outfit. Not that it was any sluttier than usual - it was just tackier!

Jr can't drive a boat into a building? Wanna bet he couldn't find a way? HAHAHA

LOL at Abe's 'comment' that it was against department regulations for SPD cops to have a clue. Ain't that the truth!

Finally, a couple of TLT comments I have to get off my chest:
- Patch moaning that he only remembers Steph as a baby. Well, last time he saw her she WAS a baby.
- Billie knows how Steph feels about her being around Patch. Why does she keep flaunting her relationship in front of the girl? Especially while she is in the hospital?

8:47 AM  
Anonymous tj7812 said...

OK, 2 questions.... does Abe really have a stroke, or is that just your colorful descriptive writing? Also, what is the deal with Bermuda? Did I miss something????


12:18 PM  
Anonymous KOTU said...

Prevuze is a little out of touch at the moment, but the Bermuda comments come out of Willow's conversation with Shawn wherein she likened making love to taking a vacation....specifically, Bermuda. That's when she offerred to take Shawn "on a trip".

8:25 PM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"does Abe really have a stroke"

Abe does not really have a stroke. Sorry if we went a bit too far in attempting to be descriptive, but someone has to make this show sound exciting.

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Hope is on the phone with Bo, "If you care anything about your son you will get here now.""

(YAWN) So here we go again. Hope demanding Bo choose her and Shawn over Billie and Chelsea, Hope choosing Billie and Chelsea. I thought the new writers were changing things?

3:59 AM  

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