Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Ma and Pa Kettle Gone Wild

Frankie comes into the pub talking on the phone telling someone to messenger Hope's file to the courthouse. He asks if his parents are around.

Abby is sitting at a table and overhears, "They went to mass. They wanted to light a candle for Bo and Hope's marriage and pray that the filthy sleazebag who is representing Hope burns in hell forever. Frankie asks her to stay there until her parents get back. Abby tells him she's studying – she has a test in one hour. He tells her he can't find her parents anywhere. They didn't come home last night.

Abby does a Tiger Woods victory pump, "Yes!"

Jack and Jennifer are seated with their backs to a post and are tied to it. They struggle with the ropes. Jack has figured out they are in a woodshed somewhere in North America. Jennifer thinks that really narrows it down. She wonders why deep throat is doing this. Jack wonders if Jennifer misses the good old days after this experience.

Hope comes into the courtroom. She tells Maggie and Alice she's glad to have their support. They tell her they came to stop the divorce.

Bo ruffles through papers. Abe tells him to calm down. Bo continues to search for the disc. Abe says if he finds a lead he will call him. Bo remains in a panic to find the disc. He asks Abe to help him out.

Frankie tells Abby there is no reason to celebrate. Abby thinks Jack and Jennifer went to a five star hotel. If there is a problem her dad will fix it. She thinks they had this planned.

Jack and Jennifer bicker. Flashback to the old days. Young Jack asks young Jennifer what she wants to be when she grows up. "I don't know what I want to be," says Jennifer, "But I know one thing – There is no way I'll be stuck on this show." They look for synonyms and find romance in words.

Jack struggles with the ropes tying them and says, "Admit it, Jennifer, you loved this, didn't you."

"Yes," she admits, "Then I remembered why I stopped loving it." More bickering and struggling. Jennifer says they decided their life together would change when they had children, but it never did. You're the fun parent – when you're around. You know, Frankie knows Jack Junior better than you do? Where have you been?"

"At death's door."

"Yes," says Jennifer, "But you were alive. Those months were precious to us and they should have been precious to you. If you really knew me you wouldn't have left. You were being selfish like always."

"I was," says Jack, "I am. I'm sorry."

"You're always sorry," says Jennifer, "You might be in remission but you want to chase a lead instead of being home with your family."

Jack reminds her, "A police officer has been killed. Will is missing. Bo and Hope's marriage is on the line. You think this is being selfish?"

"I wasn't going to let you go off on your own," says Jennifer, "If I had, right now I'd be sitting home worried sick."

Jack thinks for a moment, "Frankie... so is this where you would rather be?"

Hope tells Maggie and Alice they can't talk her out of the divorce. They try anyway. Hope says she didn't want her marriage to wind up in the dumpster. She still loves Bo, but he didn't leave her any choice. Maggie sticks up for Bo. Hope cuts her off and trashes him. She knows Bo is grieving too. She knows he wants to protect his daughter, "But what about protecting my son? He stole that evidence disc. That was the last straw, Gran."

Alice says, "You don't really believe that Bo did that, do you?"

Abe says he will help. Bo says he's staying away from the courtroom until he finds the evidence. Abe says they might not be able to find the disc, so he is looking for secondary evidence. He's concentrating on the bribe. Bo thinks that will buy time with Hope. Bo finds Eve's bank statements in a box.

"This number has nine digits," says Bo, "Thank goodness it didn't have eleven. I'd have had to use my toes to count that high. Maybe Eve had a bank account we didn't know about."

"Run this up to IT," says Abe, "This could be your lucky break."

"Not if we use our IT department," says Bo, "They're still trying to figure out the punch card machine."

Hope says she thinks Bo stole the evidence. He hasn't been able to prove he didn't. Alice tells her, "Grief makes it hard to see the truth. Don't rush into the divorce."

Hope says neither of them knows what she is going through. She runs out and Maggie goes after her.

Out in the hall, Hope tells Maggie she is sorry. She knows Alice lost a child too, "But at least she had the chance to see my mom grow up. Knowing Zack is gone is like a weight pressing on my heart every day. This pain is just never gonna go away."

Maggie comforts her. You will get through this, but not by running away. Pain has it's own set of rules. You can't go under it... you can't go around it... you have to go through it. Kind of like a DOOL episode."

"I can't," whines Hope.

"You've already begun," says Maggie, "When you come out of it you will need Bo."

Patrick comes into the police station. He asks what's up with the Michaels case. Tek says he can't discuss the case with some crummy rookie. Patrick reminds him he is the one who gave Tek the hot lead by telling him about the rare brand of shoes. Bo comes in and asks what Lockhart is doing there.

"I just gave Tek something that will blow the case wide open," says Patrick. Bo says, "Low-life, stinkin', good-for-nothing scum-of-the-earth rookies don't belong up here where the big boys play. I don't want to see you in this office again."

Patrick says, "What is wrong with you Bo, huh? Are you scared I'm gonna take your job like I took your wif..."

Bo grabs him, "You son of.."


Abe rushes out and pulls them apart, "Bo! Get your hands off of him!"

"Get out," says Bo.

Patrick is unruffled, "I was just leaving. Hope wanted me to meet her at the courthouse."

Frankie wants Abby's help. Abby insists there is no problem. If she knew where Jack and Jennifer were, she wouldn't tell him anyway. Frankie says he is worried.

"Yeah," says Abby, "That my mom will get back together with my dad."

"I just want to find them and make sure they are safe," says Frankie, "With the condition your dad is in, don't you think at the very least they would leave a number where they could be reached?"

"You're lying."

Frankie asks, "Have I ever lied to you? There's a part of me that hopes you are right."

Abby gives in, "All right, what do you want me to do?" Frankie stares.

Jack asks, "Would you rather be with me or Francois?"

Jennifer says, "I can't imagine what Frankie must be thinking right now."

Jack smirks, "That you and I ran off together. And would that be such a bad thing?"

"Yes, it would, Jack. Yes it would." Jack looks like he's about to puke.

Frankie tells Abby until they are missing for 24 hours there is nothing the police can do. Abby says, "Step Uncle Bo and Step Uncle Roman could help unofficially."

Frankie says, "You'd better make that Pending Step Uncle Bo and Pending Step Uncle Roman since things are still up in the air. Besides, Bo is giving a deposition and we didn't have the budget to have Roman on the show today."

Abby says she will wait at the police station. As Frankie leaves Abby thanks him for caring so much about her mom. Hugs.

Jack says, "You really do love Frankie."

"Is that a surprise," asks Jennifer, "This is what you wanted."

"I wanted you to be happy."

"Right," she says, "So now I've been unfaithful to you. You think that makes me happy?"

"I don't blame you for that," says Jack.

You walked right into that one, Jack, boy. "Well I blame YOU," says Jennifer, "Frankie put his life on hold. When I married him I told him you were my one true love."

"Has that changed," asks Jack.

"I don't know," says Jennifer, "I love you and I will for all the Days Of Our Lives, but I don't want Frankie waiting in the wings for what might happen."

Jack yells, "The truth shall set you free!" He's gotten the ropes loose and he turns around and unties Jennifer. She looks for her cell phone but can't find it. She thinks they have to get to the police station to tell them who killed Eve.

"And," says Jack, "We have to finish this conversation." Jack grabs a stick and they rush out.

Hope insists she and Bo are finished, "If I can't trust him how can I be married to him?"

Patrick walks in, "You can't."

Hope turns, "You came!" Hugs.

Alice looks him in the eye, "Of course you did. You came because you want to make sure Hope doesn't change her mind."

Bo comes back into Abe's office and says IT thinks they might be right about the numbers on the statements, "Eve might have a secret account somewhere. They are doing a computer search and it will hopefully be in time to save my marriage."

Jennifer rushes up to a door while she calls for Jack. She shouts, "Hello! Is anyone there?" Jack torques up his engines and runs full tilt into the door trying to break it down. The door wins. "Waitaminute," says a dazed Jack, "Could this be the same place?"

"No Jack," says Jennifer, "Don't go there. I don't want to take a trip down memory lane. I want to be mad at you for a while."

"But it's time for more banter and overdone comic relief," says Jack, "If this is the same cabin where our daughter was born we will have some idea of where we are. On the bright side it's not raining while we are lost this time." He moves toward her.

"Don't touch me," says Jennifer, "Don't smile at me. I mean it."

"What are you scared of," asks Jack.

"Nothing," says Jennifer, "Frankie is probably worried sick about both of us. You want me to break his heart, don't you?"

Jack pouts, "I shouldn't have come back."

"You should have," says Jennifer, "But I have changed."

"We both changed," says Jack, "But there is still a part of us that is the same. I felt it when we were waiting for Deep Throat."

"No," says Jennifer, "I didn't want to be tied up and kidnapped. I want to be home with a husband I can count on."

"And that would be Frankie?"

"Yes," says Jennifer, "He has been there for dirty diapers, teenage back talk and Sunday with me in my sweat pants – Frankie, whom I love very much."

Alice gives Patrick her cold stare, "I have your number." If Bo can rough him up, imagine the damage Alice can do. Hope backs her off before Patrick gets hurt.

Patrick turns to Hope, "I see where you get your feistiness." He turns back to Alice, "I understand you have a long history with Bo, but he has hurt her. I want to take care of her."

Maggie jumps in, "She can take care of herself. She has her family."

Alice puts him in a choke hold, "And Bo will always be her family."

Bo gets a call. He tells Abe, "IT couldn't match the numbers to any bank." Abe calls HQ to get somebody over to look at the databases. He looks at Bo, "Go save your marriage!"

On the way out Tek wishes him luck. Abby rushes in, "Thank God I found you. Look, my mom and dad are missing."

Jennifer asks if this really is the cabin they had Abby in. She peers in the window, "The décor has changed. It kind of looks like Ma and Pa Kettle gone wild."

Jack peers in, "No. It looks more like Antique Roadshow on Play-Doh."

Jennifer sees someone in there. They bang on the door.

Frankie arrives at the courtroom. Maggie goes to join Alice in the hall. Frankie takes Hope aside. Patrick follows. Frankie turns and tells him, "This doesn't concern you."

As Frankie and Hope walk away, Patrick sneers, "That's what you think."

Abe and Bo question Abby. She tells him what Frankie told her, "What if the same person who took Will took my parents?" Bo stares.

Jack and Jennifer knock and scream. She says she's positive she saw someone in there. He thinks she's avoiding answering his question. Jennifer says, "I was perfectly happy with the thought of never having a man in my life again. And now I have two wonderful men."

They hear someone come to the door. "Let me do the talking," says Jack, as a rifle barrel greets them.

Shotgun Sadie will do the talking, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

Frankie asks Hope if she is sure. She says she doesn't want to divorce Bo but she can't go back. Frankie says she doesn't have to decide today and asks her to think about it while he takes a call.

Patrick walks up to Hope with a little reminder, "Remember, your lawyer is your husband's brother."

"That's OK," says Hope, "We couldn't find anyone in town we weren't related to."

It's Bo on the phone. He asks Frankie about Jack and Jennifer as the judge starts the proceedings.

Abe thinks they have something. He updates the all-important clue board. It's the only place in the police station a clue can be found. Bo tells Frankie to stall, "Abe may have something that could bring Jack and Jen back to us."

Frankie hangs up and goes back to Hope. He asks Hope if she has thought about it. She says she needs to talk to Bo. Frankie says he's stuck at the station. That does it for Hope. Maggie comes up, "It's over, Maggie. For good this time."

The Judge calls the court to order.

Abe tells Bo he talked to the editor of the Spectator. Jack and Jennifer were working on a story – the Eve Michaels murder, "The last time Jack called in he told the editor he and Jen were going out to meet the source."

Bo puts out an APB. "Omygosh," says Abby, doing her best Jennifer imitation.

Shotgun Sadie snorts, "We shoot trespassers around here. Are you a couple of feds? Why are you snooping around?"

"We were kidnapped."

"Don't get me mixed up in that," growls Sadie.

Jennifer tries another route, "We are reporters!"

That perked Sadie up, "That'll make a nice trophy for my wall!"

"You can't be serious," says Jack.

Sadie smiles, "I can be anything I want to be!"


FF. Jack and Jen eating dust.


Billie walks into the courtroom, "My name is Billie Reed and, with the court's permission, I would like to speak for Bo Brady."

Roman says to Kate and EJ, "I am saying that it's very suspicious that both of you are interested in this case."

Tek tells Lexie, "If you want to believe Abe has done a complete 180 for no reason, that's fine, but my instincts as a cop tell me he's up to something." Abe stands there and steams.

Bo says, "Patrick Lockhart, you are under arrest for the murder of officer Eve Michaels."

Abby reels in shock as she gets an 'F' for missing her test.


Blogger L said...

Wohoo! Thanks for posting this.

For the SECOND time we see Jack calling Frankie Francoise, which Frankie hated, Jennifer hated, and Jack did JUST TO BUG Frankie. I love it. Whether Matt is doing it ad-lib, or it's part of the script (I think it is), I love it. Jack and Frankie were never the buddies that the show wants us to believe. They may have, at some point, finally reached a point of mutual respect, but they were not 'love ya man' buddies.

I love seeing that Jack is undermining the Frankie/Jen thing, even if he engineered it. TRUE Jack is emerging. The imperfect human that he is. Much more appealing than Sanctimonious prig any day!

The kidnapping at the end is hokey and stupid, but I like this episode description a lot. It isn't "OLD" Jack Jen, but its the closest approximation I've seen in a long long time.

4:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


5:55 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

Oops. Forgot to give Applecheeks credit for picture number two - EJ telling the brat her personality is better when she's stoned. THANKS, APPLECHEEKS!

6:33 AM  
Anonymous applecheeks said...

Awwwww shucks. Thank YOU, Prevuze for brightening our DAYS in the morning. Like today:
Bo needing his toes to count;
JJ never coming back unless they are dead;
Enduring pain is like getting through a DOOL episode. LOL at all!

Here's my "Excuse Me?" moment for today - Tec telling Patrick he can't share information on the murder case with a rookie. But he can share it with two civilians like Squints and Patch??

6:46 AM  
Blogger Vampire Bear said...

There's something I don't understand - this whole budget issue.

If they put the show on itunes and had older episodes as well and took a quarter from every episode sold and put it towards their budget they'd have no budgetary problems whatsoever.

They should sell stuff for the sake of a healthy budget, like most businesses do - autographed scripts, photographs, 'best of' dvds from year to year that would have fan favourites...

I guess that would just be too logical.

7:48 AM  
Blogger Bulldog said...

My "excuse me" moment would be Hope to Alice. I would love it if Hope had asked Alice how she would have felt about Tom if on the day of Addie's funeral she'd caught him in bed with another woman (which as far as Hope knows at the moment was real).

And Bo or no Bo, until they decided to dump the character of Patrick and suddenly make him the bad guy he WAS a good guy so why would everyone, including Alice, be so hostile towards him? TLT.

OK, now that I've blown off steam I have to say I LOL over the Bo Brady anger management seminar and Hope not being able to find a lawyer they aren't related to. HAHAHA

Excellent Prevuze today!!

8:14 AM  
Blogger Prevuze said...

"If they put the show on itunes and had older episodes as well and took a quarter from every episode sold and put it towards their budget they'd have no budgetary problems whatsoever."

I don't know, VB... at a quarter per DOOL episode that would make a full hour of nothing but a blank screen worth about a buck.

9:46 AM  
Blogger Vampire Bear said...

Now, now... it would be about forty five minutes of nothing at best. :)

3:06 PM  

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